The Fierce Marriage Podcast

By Ryan and Selena Frederick

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Description

Show hosts Ryan and Selena Frederick discuss modern marriage issues with their trademark transparency, humor, and gospel-centered teaching. Join them for honest conversations, light-hearted hilarity, and more than enough grace to go around...

Episode Date
Your Marriage is Your Ministry (Part 2, Functional Discipleship)
0:47:10
<p>This episode continues our talk about how your marriage is your ministry, particularly through discipleship.</p> <p>When we live for God we are ministers of His gospel, period. You don’t have to be a vocational pastor or licensed priest, we are all lay-ministers of Christ (“lay” comes from “laity” which means common people). Ministry is a byproduct of knowing God intimately and allowing Him to pour out through us.</p> <p>We long for the day when Christian married couples en masse minister through their marriages. We aren’t called to simply love each other fully and end our mission there. Let’s explore our callings and live to see Christ change our world through the work He does in our marriages!</p> <p><strong>Thanks for listening!</strong></p> <p>Resources mentioned in this episode:</p> <ol> <li><i><a target="_blank" href="https://amzn.to/2sYTb77">Family Worship</a></i> by Donald Whitney</li> <li><i><a target="_blank" href="https://amzn.to/2JMIYkD">The Master Plan of Evangelism</a></i> by Robert Coleman</li> <li><a target="_blank" href="https://amzn.to/2sXUhQy">A Mingling of Souls</a>, by Matt and Lauren Chandler</li> </ol> <p><strong></strong></p> <p>Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review. As always, we welcome feedback... simply go to <a target="_blank" href="FierceMarriage.com/Podcast">FierceMarriage.com/Podcast</a> to leave a comment, ask a question, or submit a letter to your spouse.</p> <p> </p>
Jun 19, 2018
Your Marriage is Your Ministry (Part 1, Sharing Your Story)
0:48:14
<p>When we live for God we are ministers of His gospel, period. You don’t have to be a vocational pastor or licensed priest, we are all lay-ministers of Christ (“lay” comes from “laity” which means common people). Ministry is a byproduct of knowing God intimately and allowing Him to pour out through us.</p> <p>I long for the day when Christian married couples en masse minister through their marriages. We aren’t called to simply love each other fully and end our mission there. Let’s explore our callings and live to see Christ change our world through the work He does in our marriages!</p> <p><strong><strong>Thanks for listening!</strong></strong></p> <p>Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review. As always, we welcome feedback... simply go to <a target="_blank" href="FierceMarriage.com/Podcast">FierceMarriage.com/Podcast</a> to leave a comment, ask a question, or submit a letter to your spouse.</p>
Jun 12, 2018
No Backup Plan, No Escape Clauses, No Regrets
0:44:11
<p><span>There’s profound joy in the mutual and reckless pursuit of each other in marriage. Marriage requires a fierce tenacity that never gives up and never gives in.</span></p> <p><span></span><span>What does this reckless pursuit actually look like in marriage? What enables it within every complex issue and circumstance you will face? </span><br /><span>To start, look at Christ’s example. He pursues you without fail. It’s his steady pursuit that drew you to him, and it’s because of his love and grace alone that you’re in a relationship with him. </span></p> <p><span></span><span>David writes, “Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!” (Psalm 139:7-8). The psalmist is reflecting on God’s limitless pursuit of those he loves. The concept of a pursuing love has immense implications for your marriage. </span></p> <p><span></span><span>Pursuit is active, not passive. It means to chase steadily with the goal of capture. This is why it’s vital to keep dating each other long after you marry. When you work with the expressed intent of capturing your spouse’s heart, you’re in active pursuit. And more importantly, when you’re having a hard time connecting, the pursuit continues. </span></p> <p><span></span><span>May you throw out any and all backup plans in your marriage. When you do, you’ll enjoy the intimacy that comes only from pursuing unconditionally and being pursued exactly the same way. </span></p> <p><span></span><span>Stay fierce,</span><br /><span>Ryan &amp; Selena</span></p> <p><b>Thanks for listening!</b></p> <p>Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review. As always, we welcome feedback... simply go to <a target="_blank" href="FierceMarriage.com/Podcast">FierceMarriage.com/Podcast</a> to leave a comment, ask a question, or submit a letter to your spouse.</p>
Jun 05, 2018
Prenuptial Agreements: Are They Good or Bad?
0:30:18
<p>Prenuptial agreements are a fairly common practice nowadays. As people of faith, how should we view and approach them? What should we do if we have a prenuptial agreement already in place? We'll discuss these questions and more in today's episode!</p> <p>Mentioned in today's podcast:</p> <ul> <li><a target="_blank" href="https://www.gotquestions.org/prenuptial-agreements.html">https://www.gotquestions.org/prenuptial-agreements.html</a></li> <li><a href="http://CruxWatches.com">CruxWatches.com</a></li> </ul> <p><strong>Thanks for listening!</strong></p> <p>Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review. As always, we welcome feedback... simply go to FierceMarriage.com/Podcast to leave a comment, ask a question, or submit a letter to your spouse!</p> <p>Stay fierce, <br />Ryan &amp; Selena</p>
May 29, 2018
Loneliness within Marriage
0:40:54
<p>It's ironic, but many individuals and couples experience loneliness while married. God said, "it is not good for man to be alone". Why? What else does the Bible say about being alone?</p> <p>In today's episode, we discuss ways forward into healthy, gospel-driven community with your spouse and others that will bring greater joy to your marriage.</p> <p><strong>Thanks for listening! </strong></p> <p>Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review. As always, we welcome feedback... simply go to FierceMarriage.com/Podcast to leave a comment, ask a question, or submit a letter to your spouse!</p> <p>Stay fierce, <br />Ryan &amp; Selena</p>
May 22, 2018
Abstinence: What is it, and is it Really God's Idea?
0:34:07
<p>In today's episode, we discuss the idea of abstinence: where it comes from, what it means, and how to be abstinent for your good and God's glory.</p> <p>Thanks for listening!</p> <p>Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review. As always, we welcome feedback... simply go to <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast" target="_blank">FierceMarriage.com/Podcast</a> to leave a comment, ask a question, or submit a letter to your spouse!</p> <p>Stay fierce,</p> <p>Ryan &amp; Selena</p>
May 15, 2018
Ask Us Anything Q&A #2: Submission without Becoming a Doormat, Building Quality Friendships, and More
0:34:16
<p>In today's episode, we answer listener questions. Some on the lighter side, some tough, all honest.</p> <p>Thanks for listening!</p> <p>Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review. As always, we welcome feedback... simply go to <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast" target="_blank">FierceMarriage.com/Podcast</a> to leave a comment, ask a question, or submit a letter to your spouse!</p>
May 08, 2018
6 Ways to Affair Proof Your Marriage
0:50:35
<p>Affairs take two common forms: emotional and sexual. In either case, by the time an actual affair materializes, there have been latent and unaddressed problems for a long time.</p> <p>"Affair proofing", if we can call it that, includes proactively building systems and rhythms into your marriage that will make it much less likely that you'll start down the subtle path toward an affair.</p> <h2 id="questions">Spread the Love</h2> <p>If we've earned it we'd be honored if you would <strong>SUBSCRIBE</strong>, <strong>RATE</strong>, and <strong>REVIEW </strong>this podcast in the Apple Podcasts app (or podcasting app of your choice). It takes 30 seconds, and it helps would-be listeners decide if it's worth their time. Thank you!</p> <h2 id="questions">Do you have a question?</h2> <p>Feel free to ask! Anything goes. Just visit <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast">https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast</a> to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest!</p>
May 01, 2018
Naked and Unashamed: Keys to Experiencing Intimacy on Every Level
0:32:51
<p>In today's episode, we sought to answer the single question: What does it mean to be truly intimate with another human? We explore that by looking at Genesis 2 (pre-Fall) and examining what it means that they were "naked and not ashamed". Then we'll spend a few minutes answering common questions we receive from readers regarding emotional intimacy, how to maintain closeness when you have young kids, and how to have tough, honest conversations even when you feel divided.</p> <h2 id="questions">Spread the Love</h2> <p>If we've earned it we'd be honored if you would <strong>SUBSCRIBE</strong>, <strong>RATE</strong>, and <strong>REVIEW </strong>this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!</p> <h2 id="questions">Do you have a question?</h2> <p>If you have a question, feel free to ask! Anything goes.</p> <p>Just visit <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast">https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast</a> to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest!</p>
Apr 24, 2018
Practical Tools for Building a Genuinely 'Fierce' Marriage
0:44:57
<p>This episode is a VERY important one for us... it probably for you too! You'll have to listen to find out why!? :)</p> <h2 id="questions">Spread the Love</h2> <p>If we've earned it we'd be honored if you would <strong>SUBSCRIBE</strong>, <strong>RATE</strong>, and <strong>REVIEW </strong>this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!</p> <h2 id="questions">Do you have a question?</h2> <p>If you have a question, feel free to ask! Anything goes.</p> <p>Just visit <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast">https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast</a> to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest!</p>
Apr 17, 2018
Love vs. Lust: Distinguishing Between Right and Wrong Motivations in Your Sex Life
0:40:50
<p>Is it possible to have lustful motivations in marriage? What makes an attitude or action loving or lustful?</p> <p>Hebrews 13:4 says, "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." Could this apply to married people engaging in sex within their own marriage?</p> <p>In today's podcast, we'll explore just that in hopes of providing insight, clarity, and perspective on loving vs. lustful motivations in bed.</p> <h2>Couple's Challenge</h2> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-8e1902ec-885a-ec02-10d7-2ec6ca7a7691">After listening to this episode, ask yourself: are there areas in your sex life where lust has taken over? If so, have a conversation with your husband or wife about how you can let love be your sole motivator.</span></p> <h2 id="questions">Spread the Love</h2> <p>If we've earned it we'd be honored if you would <strong>SUBSCRIBE</strong>, <strong>RATE</strong>, and <strong>REVIEW </strong>this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!</p> <h2 id="questions">Do you have a question?</h2> <p>If you have a question, feel free to ask! Anything goes.</p> <p>Just visit <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast">https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast</a> to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest!</p>
Apr 10, 2018
Fight Naked! How Fighting Well Can Help Build a Stronger Marriage
0:43:39
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-8e1902ec-8859-490b-8154-219a5663de4c"><span>Fighting naked—both literally and figuratively—has been pivotal in helping us fight well. Yes, you can “fight well” in your marriage. Conflict, disagreements, frustrations, tension—none of this is new to marriage. That's what today's episode is all about. </span></span></p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-8e1902ec-8859-490b-8154-219a5663de4c"><span>Put two people in a covenant together, living in the same house for life, and conflict is inevitable. First, we'll explore and understand what the bible says about how to resolve conflict, then we’ll leave you with a few tangible ways to deal with conflict in a healthy way.</span></span></p> <h2>Couple's Challenge</h2> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-8e1902ec-885a-ec02-10d7-2ec6ca7a7691"><span>Set aside some intentional time and discuss how you “fight.” Is it healthy? Is there a better way you could handle it? Do you notice any triggers? How are you responding and not reacting? </span></span></p> <h2 id="questions">Spread the Love</h2> <p>If we've earned it we'd be honored if you would <strong>SUBSCRIBE</strong>, <strong>RATE</strong>, and <strong>REVIEW </strong>this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!</p> <h2 id="questions">Do you have a question?</h2> <p>If you have a question, feel free to ask! Anything goes.</p> <p>Just visit <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast">https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast</a> to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest!</p>
Apr 03, 2018
Why Understanding Covenant is Absolutely Foundational for Your Marriage
0:38:46
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-f0bb8163-61fb-f93d-4278-a143f7480f9a"><span>We are big advocates for understanding the “why” behind the “what.” When we can understand the deeper meaning of covenant, we are better equipped to understand its importance for every facet of modern-day marriage. There is wisdom to be mined, understanding to be gleaned, and a clearer and more joyful path for our marriage when we seek to understand covenant. There is power and purpose in a lifelong commitment! </span></span></p> <h2>Mentioned</h2> <p><span><span>In the Quick Q&amp;A, we mentioned this talk on evaluating birth-control. It's long but well worth the listen. If you use birth control, it's important you understand what exactly happens and how it functions in your body: </span></span>http://resources.thegospelcoalition.org/library/sex-without-children</p> <h2>Couple's Challenge</h2> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-f0bb8163-61fd-c224-b589-b0226581c4f1"><span>Think of one new thing you’ve learned about covenant from today’s podcast? Discuss it with your spouse. </span></span></p> <h2 id="questions">Spread the Love</h2> <p>If we've earned it we'd be honored to have your subscription. In short, <strong>SUBSCRIBE</strong>, <strong>RATE</strong>, and <strong>REVIEW</strong> this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!</p> <h2 id="questions">Do you have a question?</h2> <p>If you have a question, feel free to ask! Anything goes.</p> <p>Just visit <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast">https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast</a> or <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/ask" target="_blank">https://fiercemarriage.com/ask</a> to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.</p>
Mar 27, 2018
Live Q&A #2 (Uncut and Unfiltered)
0:42:43
<p>Listen in as Ryan and Selena answer questions from readers around the world! Uncut, unedited, and unfiltered... for better or worse (a little like marriage!)</p> <p>Fierce Marriage (the book) is available at https://fiercemarriagebook.com. Go there to learn more!</p> <h2>Don’t forget!</h2> <p>If you'd like, please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!</p> <h2 id="questions">Do you have a question?</h2> <p>If you have a question, ask! Anything goes.</p> <p>Just visit <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast">https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast</a> to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.</p>
Mar 24, 2018
Why "I love you but I'm not IN love with you" is a lie...
0:33:25
<p>One of the truest markers of genuine love is its staying power—its longevity, its ability to persevere, and its ability to withstand. This is the type of love Christ shows us, and its the type of love we're called to express in marriage.<br /><br />However, our culture and our humanity would have us believe something else. Without a biblical understanding of love, we're prone to follow the whims of emotion and experience. We risk confusing infatuation for love. We believe the lie that love can only be found or stumbled upon rather than built, nurtured, and acted out.</p> <p>We risk believing that love is fickle and fragile—that it's something that can break or fade over time. That couldn't be further from the truth. Love is strong, not weak. It's decisive, not elusive. And love is BIG... so much bigger than our emotions can express or our moods can decide.</p> <p><strong>How is love so big and so strong? </strong>In short, love is not a human idea. Love is God's idea, created by his design, and sustained by his strength.<br /><br />And there is no greater display of love than Christ on the cross. John 15:13 says this, "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." No love is stronger than God's love in Christ, which is why we're called to love as Christ loves—fiercely, unconditionally, perfectly.<br /><br />The catch is this: we can't love without God's help. We need to experience his love in Christ and be fueled by the transformation it brings.</p> <p>In today's episode, we'll discuss the above and more!</p> <h2>Couple's Challenge</h2> <p>Read through 1 Corinthians 13 and do two things:</p> <ol> <li>Write down how Jesus shows you each characteristic of love.</li> <li>Write down how you can show each characteristic to each other.</li> </ol> <p>Once you've done that, discuss!</p> <h2 id="questions">Spread the Love</h2> <p>If we've earned it we'd be honored to have your subscription. In short, <strong>SUBSCRIBE</strong>, <strong>RATE</strong>, and <strong>REVIEW</strong> this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!</p> <h2 id="questions">Do you have a question?</h2> <p>If you have a question, feel free to ask! Anything goes.</p> <p>Just visit <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast">https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast</a> or <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/ask" target="_blank">https://fiercemarriage.com/ask</a> to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.</p>
Mar 20, 2018
Dealing with Anger in Your Marriage
0:43:51
<p>Listen in as Ryan and Selena discuss how to deal with anger in marriage (i.e. conflict, frustration, bitterness) in productive, biblical ways.</p> <h2>Couple's Challenge</h2> <p>Set aside some time to talk and write down anger triggers. Try to trace them back to their root causes and identify why they make you feel this way? Dive into scripture and discover what it says and how it instructs in the area of anger and the roots of it in your heart. James and Colossians are great places to start.</p> <h2 id="questions">Spread the Love</h2> <p>If we've earned it we'd be honored to have your subscription. In short, <b>SUBSCRIBE</b>, <b>RATE</b>, and <b>REVIEW</b> this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!</p> <h2 id="questions">Do you have a question?</h2> <p>If you have a question, feel free to ask! Anything goes.</p> <p>Just visit <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast">https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast</a> or <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/ask" target="_blank">https://fiercemarriage.com/ask</a> to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.</p>
Mar 13, 2018
Redeeming Respect: How Can Wives Respect Their Husbands in Every Circumstance?
0:42:24
<p>Is respect earned, given, or some combination of the two? What should a wife do if she wants to respect her husband but he's not acting respectably? The biblical idea of respect in marriage can be tricky against our cultural backdrop, but it's worth hashing through because we see a beautiful picture of the gospel on the other side.</p> <p>In this episode, Ryan and Selena discuss the concept of wives respecting their husbands as instructed in 1 Peter 3:</p> <blockquote class="c2"> <p class="c1"><span>Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,</span> <span>when they see your respectful and pure conduct.</span></p> </blockquote> <blockquote class="c3">1 Peter 3:1-2</blockquote> <p>To best understand these instructions, it's vital to understand the context of 1 Peter as a book and what he's addressing in the early church. Listen in as we start that conversation!</p> <h2>Couple's Challenge</h2> <p>Read 1 Peter 1-5. Seek an understanding of the context of the book and discuss chapter 3 in terms of what it means for your marriage.</p> <h2>Spread the Love</h2> <p>If we've earned it we'd be honored to have your subscription. In short, SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!</p> <h2 id="questions">Do you have a question?</h2> <p>If you have a question, ask! Anything goes.</p> <p>Just visit <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast">https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast</a> or <a target="_blank" href="https://fiercemarriage.com/ask">https://fiercemarriage.com/ask</a> to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.</p>
Mar 06, 2018
The 3 Profound Purposes of Sex and How They Make it Much, Much Better
0:42:02
<p>Sex is so much more than physical and its purposes extend far beyond our immediate pleasure. How exactly has God designed sex for his eternal purposes? How can we enjoy intimacy more deeply knowing that we're profoundly reflecting certain aspects of God's grace and goodness in the gospel?</p> <p>In this episode, Ryan and Selena explore three purposes of sex as found in Genesis 1 and expanded upon through Ephesians 5. If you're looking to further your understanding of sexual intimacy and increase your enjoyment, you will likely find something helpful in this episode.</p> <h2>Don't Forget</h2> <p>If we've earned it we'd be honored to have your subscription. In short, SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!</p> <h2 id="questions">Do you have a question?</h2> <p>If you have a question, ask! Anything goes.</p> <p>Just visit <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast">https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast</a> or <a target="_blank" href="https://fiercemarriage.com/ask">https://fiercemarriage.com/ask</a> to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.</p> <p> </p>
Feb 27, 2018
How to Date Like Newlyweds No Matter How Long You’ve Been Married
0:39:50
<p>There are few things more disheartening than seeing a husband and a wife who have lost their desire and curiosity for each other. In today's episode, we discuss exactly why a vibrant dating life is vital to a healthy marriage. We clearly define the objectives of "dating", discuss how to make it a priority, and explore all sorts of fun and unique date ideas.</p> <p>Even with the variety of adventures we discuss, they all have one thing in common: they're designed to grow your friendship, which is absolutely essential for a strong, thriving marriage.</p> <h2>Don't Forget</h2> <p>If you'd like, please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!</p> <h2 id="questions">Do you have a question?</h2> <p>If you have a question, ask! Anything goes.</p> <p>Just visit <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast">https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast</a> or <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/ask" target="_blank">https://fiercemarriage.com/ask</a> to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.</p>
Feb 20, 2018
5 Ways to Fight for Your Integrity While Apart for Work (or Otherwise)
0:36:47
<p>Many couples experience separation for days, weeks, or even months because of work-related travel. If you or your husband/wife travel for a corporate job or military deployment, you will face unique challenges when it comes to staying connected emotionally (and physically), as well as maintaining spouse-honoring (and God-honoring) integrity while apart.</p> <p>In today's podcast, Ryan and Selena discuss five ways to fight for personal integrity while one of you is away for work.</p> <h2 id="questions">Show overview:</h2> <p><strong>Proverbs 25:28<br />A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.</strong></p> <p><strong>5 Ways to Fight for Your Integrity While Traveling for Work</strong></p> <p> </p> <ol> <li>Do healthy things to stay busy (have healthy fun)<ol> <li>Read, go to a good movie, workout. </li> </ol></li> <li>Know yourself: what tempts you and steer clear of it.</li> <li>Establish a solid accountability system:<ol> <li>Your spouse</li> <li>Check in questions</li> <li>Trusted, respected friends</li> <li>Software filtering</li> </ol></li> <li>Bring your spouse “with” you. Mention him/her intentionally in conversations with the opposite sex.</li> <li>Gather with brothers/sisters in Christ.<ol> <li>Attend a church service, stay with people/acquaintances instead of staying alone)</li> </ol></li> </ol> <p> </p> <h2 id="questions">Don't Forget</h2> <p>If you'd like, please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!</p> <h2 id="questions">Do you have a question?</h2> <p>If you have a question, ask! Anything goes.</p> <p>Just visit <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast">https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast</a> or <a target="_blank" href="https://fiercemarriage.com/ask ">https://fiercemarriage.com/ask</a> to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.</p>
Feb 13, 2018
How Radically Pursuing Your Spouse Changes Your Heart (and Theirs)
0:37:28
<p><span>Every marriage begins with purpose, passion, and intentional pursuit, but few marriages stay that way. Maintaining passion and joy in marriage is largely dependent both spouses committing to a lifelong pursuit. And a lifelong pursuit is only sustainable (truly) through experiencing the radical love of God in Jesus.</span></p> <p>In this episode, Ryan and Selena explore everything they learned about pursuing each other after completing the 31-Day Pursuit Challenge. Even after nearly 15 years of marriage, they're still learning how to love one another like Christ.</p> <p>You can join the challenge by visiting <a target="_blank" href="https://31daypursuit.com">31DayPursuit.com</a>.</p> <p><strong>Today's Quick Q&amp;A Questions:</strong></p> <ol> <li>How to connect when schedules are hectic and you can't seem to make enough time?</li> <li>How to keep conversations fresh on date nights when you feel like you don't know what to talk about?</li> <li>How do I handle unsolicited PMs from the opposite sex?</li> </ol> <p><span style="font-size: 1.5em;">Don’t forget!</span></p> <p>If you'd like, please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!</p> <h2 id="questions">Do you have a question?</h2> <p>If you have a question, ask! Anything goes.</p> <p>Just visit <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast">https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast</a> or <a target="_blank" href="https://fiercemarriage.com/ask ">https://fiercemarriage.com/ask</a> to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.</p> <div></div>
Feb 06, 2018
The 3 P's That Can Poison Your Marriage
0:35:32
<p>Marriage is a magnificent gift, but we're imperfect people. We have a propensity for poison: our sinful desires tend to poison the pure things in our life. God uses marriage to sanctify us.</p> <p>Verses mentioned: Romans 3:23, Romans 3:10, 1 John 1:10</p> <h2>The 3 P's That Can Poison Your Marriage</h2> <p><strong>1: Pennies (Finances)</strong></p> <p>Pennies poison our marriage by creating mistaken identity through comparing or a wrong source of security. This inevitably leads to fear and frustration that can strain your relationship in multiple ways.</p> <p>The antidote? Understanding that God is sovereign, loving, and faithful to provide.</p> <p>Read: Matthew 6:35-31</p> <p><strong>2: Perversion (of Sex and Intimacy)</strong></p> <p>Sex is a physical confirmation of a spiritual truth/covenant. A perversion is "the alteration of something from its original course." For sex and intimacy, pornography addiction distorts one or both spouse's view of what sex should entail.</p> <p>Ask yourselves the question: if all you ever knew about sex was what you discovered as a married couple (without outside influences of media, pornography, etc), how would your sex life look? You would be enough for each other</p> <p>The antidote:</p> <ol> <li>Remember that sex is a good gift from God, one he wants you to enjoy.</li> <li>Have a transparent conversation and discuss your thoughts and goals for your sex life. Where can you grow?</li> <li>If you have unaddressed addiction or trauma, make steps toward healing: counseling, get pastoral care, addiction recovery.</li> </ol> <p><strong>3: Pride</strong></p> <p>Pride is the root of every sin. It's what makes us think we know better than God—that our way is the better way.</p> <p>The antidote: seeing yourself for who you are (a sinner saved by grace) and seeing Jesus for who he really is (the only One who saves).</p> <h2>Don’t forget!</h2> <p>If you'd like, please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!</p> <h2 id="questions">Do you have a question?</h2> <p>If you have a question, ask! Anything goes.</p> <p>Just visit <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast">https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast</a> to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.</p> <p> </p>
Jan 30, 2018
Live Q&A #1 (Uncut and Unfiltered)
0:52:04
<p>Listen in as Ryan and Selena answer questions from readers around the world! Uncut, unedited, and unfiltered... for better or worse (a little like marriage!)</p> <h2>Don’t forget!</h2> <p>If you'd like, please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!</p> <h2 id="questions">Do you have a question?</h2> <p>If you have a question, ask! Anything goes.</p> <p>Just visit <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast">https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast</a> to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.</p>
Jan 23, 2018
Tools for Transparency: Finding Freedom, Joy, and Holiness Through Being Honest
0:40:19
<p>Why be transparency about something difficult when it's so much easier to just hide it? Quick answer: freedom. Nothing compares to the freedom of total honesty in a marriage relationship. Being totally honest can be scary. What if your husband/wife doesn't love you once they see who you really are? While the proposition of rejection is scary, as those rooted in Christ, we have hope in our identity and acceptance because of what he has done. Then we can trust that if we confess our sins, God is faithful to heal us.</p> <p>Consider the following verses:</p> <blockquote style="margin: 0 0 0 40px; border: none; padding: 0px;"> <p><i>There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.</i></p> <p>1 John 4:18</p> <p><i>Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.</i></p> <p>James 5:16</p> </blockquote> <p><strong>Show notes:</strong></p> <ul> <li>Transparency and trust go both ways. Your covenant creates a boundary</li> <li>Being each other's accountability partners: "Ask me anything and I will never lie."</li> <li>This kind of transparency is only possible in light of covenant. Covenant is huge for transparency. Covenant is the arena where the sanctifying effects of love have room to operate.</li> <li>"The Phone Drop Test": At any moment, you should both be able to see all phone activity. It's not about being nosy, it's about having nothing to hide.</li> <li>Be hyper-vigilant about opposite-sex relationships. For example, no texting one-on-one; always include your spouse or the spouse of the person you're texting.</li> <li>Have a pre-established limit for spending that you won't exceed without discussing it.</li> <li>Don't forget the underlying reasons for transparency: sanctification, freedom, trust, and joy.</li> <li>Transparency is like taking your temperature: if you're running a fever (you're hiding something), there's something wrong with your health.</li> </ul> <p><strong>How can I start the process of being honest?</strong></p> <ol> <li>Phones down, no distractions.</li> <li>Ask for focused conversation time.</li> </ol> <p><strong>Couple's Challenge: </strong></p> <p>Have a transparency audit. Do you have a transparent marriage? Think about anything that you're hiding either unintentionally or on purpose. Do you know how to keep each other accountable? Talk about how to maintain accountability in hot areas (online, phones, finances, etc).</p> <p><strong>Announcement!</strong></p> <p>Download our FREE eBook, <i>5 Habits of a Healthy Marriage! </i>Just go to <a href="https://5habits.us" target="_blank">https://5habits.us</a></p> <p><strong>Questions?</strong></p> <p>Just go to https://fiercemarriage.com/ask. Anything goes!</p> <p><strong>Don't forget!</strong></p> <p><strong></strong>Please subscribe, rate, and review. It means a ton to us and helps other (future) listeners know what they're getting into! :)</p> <p>Stay fierce!</p>
Jan 16, 2018
The Power of Prayer in Marriage
0:37:02
<p>In today’s episode, we explored the Lord’s Prayer and talked about tangible ways we can pray it over our marriage and each other. Tangible prayer in your relationship:</p> <ul> <li>Around meals</li> <li>During day transitions (leaving for work, taking kids to school, etc)</li> <li>During communion at church</li> </ul> <p><strong>Couple’s challenge </strong></p> <p>Pray FOR each other WITH each other tonight before going to bed. In that time, spend 3-5 minutes in silence listening for the Holy Spirit. Ask God to show you how he’s working, then jot down what pops into your head and see how God is working.</p> <p>Thanks for listening, please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!</p>
Jan 09, 2018
Redeeming the Ideas of Headship, Submission, and Biblical Manhood/Womanhood
0:47:43
<p>Questions about headship, submission, and roles are some of the most common and culturally confusing questions couples have today. Wives struggle with what it means to submit while husbands wrestle with what it means to love and lead like Jesus.</p> <p>All of the pain, confusion, and frustration we feel around the ideas of headship and submission are the result of sin.</p> <p>Discussion Verses:</p> <blockquote style="margin: 0 0 0 40px; border: none; padding: 0px;"> <p><i>“Then he said to the woman, "I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you."</i></p> <p>Genesis 3:16 NLT</p> </blockquote> <blockquote style="margin: 0 0 0 40px; border: none; padding: 0px;"> <p><i>“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”</i></p> <p>Ephesians 5:22-25</p> </blockquote> <p>The Bible is painting a picture of a distortion of a pre-fall truth of roles, headship, and submission. What examples do we have of healthy, complementary roles? The primary example of God-designed roles exists within the Trinity, where we see three distinct persons within one God. The Father is the head, the Holy Spirit is the helper, and the Son clearly submits to the Father.</p> <p>In Christ, we see a perfect picture if headship as he leads the truth, and we see a perfect picture of submission as he submits to the Father.</p> <p><strong>BIG NOTE: </strong>Submission does not mean a woman should stay in harm's way or in a way that causes her to sin.</p> <p>Listen in for more… (there’s a ton more.)</p> <p><strong>Couple’s Challenge</strong></p> <p>Answer the following two questions in your own words and discuss:</p> <ol> <li>How has sin distorted or changed our views of headship and submission in marriage? </li> <li>How does Jesus display perfect headship and submission?</li> </ol> <p><strong>Mentioned in today’s episode: </strong></p> <ol> <li><a target="_blank" href="http://amzn.to/2DSuSe5"><i>Preaching</i></a> by Tim Keller</li> <li><i><a target="_blank" href="http://amzn.to/2CcBp2S">Systematic Theology</a></i> by Wayne Grudem</li> <li><a target="_blank" href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/wayne-grudems-systematic-theology/id322844869?mt=2">The Systematic Theology Podcast</a> (episode <a target="_blank" href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/doctrine-man-manhood-womanhood-in-creation-marriage/id322844869?i=1000082948550&amp;mt=2">56</a> on biblical manhood/womanhood) </li> <li><i><a target="_blank" href="http://amzn.to/2CygKd5">Husband in Pursuit</a></i> by Ryan Frederick (<a target="_blank" href="http://amzn.to/2qhina6">Now available on Kindle!</a>)</li> <li><a target="_blank" href="http://amzn.to/2EFRaRq"><i>Wife in Pursuit</i></a> by Selena Frederick (<a target="_blank" href="http://amzn.to/2qaJnrI">Now available on Kindle!</a>)</li> </ol> <p>Don't forget! Please subscribe, rate, and review.</p>
Jan 03, 2018
Gearing Up for the the 31-Day Pursuit Online Community Study
0:26:12
<p class="p1">In this episode, we answered some common questions about our upcoming 31-Day Pursuit community study. If you'd like to participate in the online study, visit <a target="_blank" href="https://31daypursuit.com">31DayPursuit.com</a> to grab your copy of the book(s), then request access to the appropriate group on Facebook. (Go to <a target="_blank" href="http://FierceHusbands.com">FierceHusbands.com</a> for men, and <a target="_blank" href="http://FierceWives.com">FierceWives.com</a> for ladies.)</p> <p class="p1 c1"><strong>Can I do the 31-day pursuit without my spouse and still find value? </strong></p> <p class="p1"><strong>Answer</strong>: Yes. It’s written with an emphasis on Jesus’ love for you and how that allows and equips you to love your spouse selflessly—regardless of reciprocation. With that said, the books do complement each other if a husband and a wife go through them together.</p> <p class="p1 c1"><strong>Can I go through the study more than once? </strong></p> <p class="p1"><strong>Answer</strong>: Of course! We believe each read-through will provide ample opportunity for growth.</p> <p class="p1 c1"><strong>Can I participate without using Facebook?</strong></p> <p class="p1"><strong>Answer</strong>: Yes and no. You are free to do it with friends and in a group setting with your community. Eventually, we will have a way to engage online with other readers, but that’s not in place other than Facebook.</p> <p class="p1 c1"><strong>If I missed the first few days, can I still join? </strong></p> <p class="p1"><strong>Answer</strong>: Yes. Just pick up on the day you’re at, don’t worry about catching up!</p> <p class="p1 c1"><strong>What if I ordered my books but I don't have them yet?</strong></p> <p class="p1"><strong>Answer</strong>: You can grab the first five chapters by visiting <a target="_blank" href="https://31daypursuit.com/try/">31DayPursuit.com/try</a>. Those should help until the physical copies arrive.</p> <p>That's it, thanks for listening!</p> <p>Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review.</p>
Dec 26, 2017
Ask Us Anything Q&A #1: Staying Connected, Dealing with Porn Addiction, Military Spouses, and More
0:33:09
<p>In today's episode, we answer listener questions. Some on the lighter side, some tough, all honest.</p> <ul> <li>Question 1: What are the best ways to stay connected in a crazy, fast-paced world?</li> <li>Question 2: How to communicate to my spouse how hurtful their words can be at times?</li> <li>Question 3: What should I do after I’ve discovered your spouse is addicted to pornography?</li> <li>Question 4: How do we stay close when one spouse is in the military?</li> <li>Question 5: I do I create firm, clear boundaries in terms of in-laws?</li> <li>Question 6: How to make big decisions when you simply cannot find agreement.</li> </ul> <p><b> Mentioned in today's show </b></p> <ul> <li><a href="http://StrongerFamilies.org" target="_blank">StrongerFamilies.org</a> — Help for couples in the military.</li> <li><a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/5-principles-healthier-happier-relationships-laws" target="_blank">In-Laws: 5 Principles for Healthier, Happier Family Relationships</a></li> <li><a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/ask" target="_blank">Submit a Question</a></li> <li><a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/crafting-family-vision-statement-need-one" target="_blank">Crafting a Family Vision Statement: What It Is and Why You Need One</a></li> <li><a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/download-family-vision-worksheet" target="_blank">Download the Family Vision Statement worksheet</a></li> </ul> <p>Thanks for listening!</p> <p>Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review. As always, we welcome feedback... simply go to <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast" target="_blank">FierceMarriage.com/Podcast</a> to leave a comment, ask a question, or submit a letter to your spouse!</p>
Dec 19, 2017
The 5 Anchors of a Fulfilling Sex Life
0:34:39
<p>Culture seems more confused by sex than ever before. Scandals, misconduct, gender identity, and cultural sexualization all contribute to an already confusing conversation. As Christian married couples, it's vital that we press into the confusion and fight through to a place of clarity. We must ask, how can we conform our understanding of sex and intimacy to God's original design? How can we honor God with our sexuality—our desires, our expressions, and our conduct—for our joy and His glory?</p> <p>In today's podcast, we identify 5 anchors for a fulfilling, God-designed sex life based on what we see before the Fall.</p> <p><b>Discussion</b></p> <p>Scripture: Genesis 2:24-25</p> <blockquote style="margin: 0 0 0 40px; border: none; padding: 0px;"> <p><i>Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.</i></p> </blockquote> <p>Two things we're highlighting as part of God's perfect design for marriage and sex:</p> <ol> <li>They've been joined as one flesh.</li> <li>They were naked and unashamed. No shame. </li> </ol> <p>Any shame we feel is a result of distortion of sex because of sin. We must do the work to understand sex clearly in a culture where it's increasingly confused. God's Word is always our guide.</p> <p><b>The 5 Anchors of a Fulfilling Sex Life </b></p> <p> </p> <ul> <li>Anchor 1: Sex is more than physical. </li> <li>Anchor 2: Sex is primarily selfless, not selfish.</li> <li>Anchor 3: Sex is exclusive to the marriage covenant.</li> <li>Anchor 4: Sex is for our enjoyment and pleasure.</li> <li>Anchor 5: Sex is designed to edify, not degrade.</li> </ul> <p> </p> <p><b>Mentioned in this episode:</b></p> <ul> <li><i><a target="_blank" href="http://amzn.to/2kqHTU4">Don't Waste Your Life</a></i> by John Piper</li> <li><i><a target="_blank" href="http://amzn.to/2krNbPk">Preaching</a></i> by Tim Keller</li> <li><a target="_blank" href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/knowing-faith/id1274228164?mt=2">The Knowing Faith Podcast</a></li> </ul>
Dec 12, 2017
Crafting a Family Vision Statement: What It Is and Why You Need One
0:52:01
<p class="p1">Few things have been as impactful in our lives and marriage as our family vision. Years back when we felt aimless and flustered, we took the time to have in-depth discussions about what matters most to us: as Christians, as a family, and as a couple. The result was our family vision statement, which has helped us immensely since.</p> <p class="p1"> </p> <p class="p1">Listen to today's episode as we talk through our family vision statement and share about how you can create your own!</p> <p class="p1"> </p> <p class="p1"><a target="_blank" href="https://fiercemarriage.com/download-family-vision-worksheet">Download the Family Vision Worksheet HERE.</a></p> <p class="p2"> </p> <p class="p2"><b>Show Notes:</b></p> <p class="p1">A Family Vision Statement helps in three ways:<span> </span></p> <ol> <li>Direction</li> <li>Discernment</li> <li>Unity</li> </ol> <p class="p2">How can you write your own Family Vision Statement?</p> <ol> <li><a target="_blank" href="https://fiercemarriage.com/download-family-vision-worksheet">Download the worksheet.</a></li> <li>Start with why?<ol> <li>Your <i>why</i> statement is your "big reason". It's like a mission statement for your life.</li> <li>Find a verse that encapsulates how God is calling you.</li> </ol></li> <li>Discover your core values<ol> <li>Your core values are already there, you just need to define them.</li> <li>This isn't a list of ideal characteristics, but rather a list of intrinsic qualities about you, your marriage, and your family.</li> </ol></li> <li>Craft your vision<ol> <li>Write a group of "we envision" statements that describe how your family will look and function in the years to come. Get creative! </li> <li>Try to write at least one envision statement for each core value you've discovered.</li> </ol></li> </ol> <p class="p2"> </p> <p class="p1"><b>Mentioned in today’s episode:</b></p> <ul> <li><a target="_blank" href="https://fiercemarriage.com/download-family-vision-worksheet">Download the Family Vision Worksheet</a></li> <li><a href="http://amzn.to/2iVVx4P"><i>Jesus Storybook Bible</i></a></li> <li><i>New City Catechism</i> (<a href="http://amzn.to/2jj4mTA">book</a> / <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/new-city-catechism/id564035762?mt=8">iphone app</a>)</li> <li><i><a href="http://amzn.to/2A5GtsV">Ruthless Trust</a></i> by Brennan Manning</li> <li><a href="http://amzn.to/2ioiN7T">Wonder</a>, by Hillsong United</li> <li><i><a href="http://amzn.to/2jSjXZw">You Can Pray</a></i> by Tim Chester</li> <li><a href="http://amzn.to/2A6WjDE">The Beauty Between</a>, by King’s Kaleidoscope<span> </span></li> </ul> <p> <style type="text/css"> p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px 'Times New Roman'} p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px 'Times New Roman'; min-height: 15.0px} </style> </p>
Dec 05, 2017
Keeping Christmas Simple: Low Pressure, High Impact Gift Ideas
0:43:11
<p>In last week's episode, we set the foundation for keeping sight of Christ through the consumerism, hustle, and bustle of the holiday season. In today's episode, we get very practical... Listen in as we discuss tangible, creative, and inexpensive gift ideas, how to keep things low pressure, and how thoughtfulness can have an incredible impact.</p> <p><strong>Show notes:</strong></p> <ul> <li>New segment: Heart Check  <ul> <li>What book is in your hand?</li> <li>What voice is in your ear?</li> <li>What's stirring in your heart?</li> </ul> </li> <li><strong>Announcement</strong>: on January 1st we're doing an online 31-Day Pursuit Challenge. Stay tuned for info. Pick up the books if you want free access to the 31-day e-course.</li> <li>Recap of last week's episode: <ul> <li>Keeping Christ front and center</li> <li>Avoid the mistake of expecting gifts to satisfy</li> <li>From a place of security in Christ, enjoy Christmas with wisdom and stewardship</li> </ul> </li> <li><strong>Discussion</strong>: <strong>Simple Gift Ideas that are Low Pressure, High Impact</strong> <ul> <li>Tile coasters w/ Images on them (4" white tiles, 4" square images)</li> <li>Baked goods (granola, cookies, etc)</li> <li>We love calendars at Costco</li> <li>Give experiences <ul> <li>Plan an outing for the day after Christmas</li> <li>Groupon is great for local, fun activities</li> <li>Books that can be read together</li> <li>Memberships to local places (Zoo, Museums, etc)</li> <li>Give "time gifts"</li> </ul> </li> <li>Books! <ul> <li>The 31-Day Pursuit Challenge Bundle</li> <li>Thirty-One Days of Prayer (for wives, for husbands). Incredible books!</li> <li>Pilgrims Regress</li> <li>Advent by Ann Voskamp</li> </ul> </li> <li>For Kids <ul> <li>The Secret of the Hidden Scrolls</li> <li>Kiwi/Koala Crates (AMAZING)</li> <li>Craft Gifts</li> <li>Time w/ Kids (simple is fine, just be intentional)</li> </ul> </li> <li>For others: <ul> <li>Be aware of neighbors... show them intentionality</li> <li>Invite neighbors over if they don't have anyone to celebrate holidays with</li> <li>Give out baked goods to houses nearby</li> </ul> </li> <li>Other ideas: <ul> <li>Make your own advent calendar</li> </ul> </li> </ul> </li> </ul> <p><strong>Couple's Challenge</strong></p> <ol> <li>Pray together about how to be intentional this season.</li> <li>Make a list of potential holiday hangups, pray about how to follow them</li> <li>Pray about people and how you can minister out of your marriage this year</li> </ol> <p><strong>Mentioned in the show:</strong></p> <ol> <li><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/perfectly-wonderfully-made/id1281408087?mt=2" target="_blank">The Perfectly, Wonderfully Made Podcast (with Alise Marsh)</a> &lt;--it's incredible!</li> <li><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/risen-motherhood/id1072833310?mt=2" target="_blank">The Risen Motherhood Podcast</a></li> <li><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/knowing-faith/id1274228164?mt=2" target="_blank">The Knowing Faith Podcast</a> (mistakenly referred to as the <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/culture-matters/id926935016?mt=2" target="_blank">Culture Matters Podcast</a>, which is also good)</li> <li><a href="http://amzn.to/2hWDPKq" target="_blank">Shepherding a Child's Heart</a> by Tedd Tripp</li> <li><a href="http://amzn.to/2hWrGVO" target="_blank">The Pilgrim's Regress</a> by C.S. Lewis</li> <li><a href="https://31daypursuit.com" target="_blank">The 31-Day Pursuit Challenge</a></li> <li><a href="http://amzn.to/2hWrEgE" target="_blank">Unwrapping the Greatest Gift: A Family Celebration of Christmas</a> by Ann Voskamp</li> <li><a href="http://amzn.to/2zwscB4" target="_blank">The Secret of the Hidden Scrolls</a></li> </ol> <p>Thanks for listening! Submit questions and comments by visiting <a target="_blank" href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast.">https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast.</a></p>
Nov 28, 2017
Resisting Unchecked Consumerism During the Holidays
0:40:50
<p>It's easy to lose sight of the gospel during the holidays, but we must fix our eyes on him or risk putting our joy and hope in things/people in ways that cannot satisfy.</p> <p><em>Deuteronomy 4:9, 23-24<br /></em><em>Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children—</em></p> <p><em>Take care, lest you forget the covenant of the <span class="divine-name">LORD</span> your God, which he made with you, and make a carved image, the form of anything that the <span class="divine-name">LORD</span> your God has forbidden you. For the <span class="divine-name">LORD</span> your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.</em></p> <ul> <li>It can be very easy to forget all that God had provided to us throughout the year, just like the Israelites (see Exodus 32).</li> <li>These passages remind us not to turn God's provision into an idol.</li> <li>If you've ever felt pressure, guilt, remorse, or regret because of a gift you've either given, received, not given, or not received.</li> <li>Caveat: buying gifts isn't bad inherently. It becomes harmful when we expect things we purchase to bring the joy that only God can give.</li> </ul> <h3><strong>5 Ways to Not Lose Your Mind During the Holidays</strong></h3> <ol> <li>Guard your heart.</li> <li>Remember what God has done (in your life, your heart, your marriage).</li> <li>Make those things known to your children.</li> <li>Remember the FULL message and weight of the gospel (God is utterly perfect and we are hopelessly sinful... <strong><em>but</em>,</strong> Jesus!)</li> <li>Put your full weight in the gospel. Examine and evaluate the fruit of your belief in the gospel</li> </ol> <h3 class="c1">Today's Couples Challenge:</h3> <p>Read Deuteronomy 4 and Exodus 32.</p> <p>Discuss the following questions:</p> <ul> <li>How can you intentionally "guard our souls" during the holiday season? How can you remind each other of God's purpose (his glory, your delight in him)?</li> <li>How have you seen Christ work in your life/marriage? What "slavery" has God brought you out of in your marriage? In other words, what has God done in your past that you can consciously remember?</li> <li>If you have kids, how can you point them to Jesus during the holidays?</li> <li>How can you remind yourselves of the gospel?</li> <li>How can you better rest in the gospel this year? How can you not act in a heart orientation that is corrupt, but instead secure in Christ? What fruit of your belief in the gospel is showing or can show during this season?</li> </ul> <h2>Mentioned in the Show:</h2> <ul> <li><a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast#questions">Ask any question, leave us a voicemail, or write a letter to your spouse!</a></li> </ul> <h2>Don't forget!</h2> <p>Please <strong>SUBSCRIBE</strong>, <strong>RATE</strong>, and <strong>REVIEW</strong> this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!</p> <h2>Question or comment?</h2> <p>If you have a question, ask! Anything goes. Click the appropriate button below to submit a question or story; we'll take care of the rest.</p>
Nov 21, 2017
In-Laws: 5 Principles for Healthier, Happier Family Relationships
0:51:07
<p>This episode can be summarized with one word: boundaries. As a married couple bound by covenant, you are charged with upholding your commitment with diligence and wisdom. Sometimes in-laws aren't on board with that vision, especially if they don't understand the complete dynamics of your marriage or season in life. This can create stressful, unenjoyable relationships.</p> <p>In this episode, we propose 5 principles we believe to be crucial for happy, health in-law relationships. Along the way, we share tangible ways to make steps in the right direction... especially if you're experiencing difficulty in this area.</p> <h2>Show Notes:</h2> <p><strong>The big idea:</strong> in-laws should advocate for our marriage instead of for only their child.</p> <p>There may be relationship problems and frustrations, but if they're not "the big issue" above, they can be worked out with grace and patience.</p> <h3><strong>5 Principles for Healthier, Happier Relationships with In-Laws:</strong></h3> <ol> <li>Have grace: Remember, they need grace, they're not perfect... just like you.</li> <li>Understand what "leave and cleave" means. Matthew 19:4 (Jesus speaking)</li> <li>Establish boundaries. Communicate clearly to them what you expect from them. ("We want you to advocate for our marriage." "Respect our marriage." Etc...)</li> <li>Ask clearly for help and communicate expectations.</li> <li>Have perspective about in-law relationships: do what works for you, and don't compare to others or put too much weight in cultural context.</li> </ol> <p>Remember that Jesus is working in you and through you to perpetuate the gospel in those relationships.</p> <h2><strong>Today's Couples Challenge:</strong></h2> <div> <ul> <li>Go through the 5 above principles for healthy in-law relationships.</li> <li>Identify any potential in-law pain points.</li> <li>Create a plan for a biblical way forward that protects your marriage and honors relationships.</li> </ul> </div> <h2>Mentioned in the Show:</h2> <ul> <li>Learn more about <a href="https://31daypursuit.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>The 31-Day Pursuit Challenge</em></a>, our couple's devotional.</li> <li><a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast#questions">Ask any question, leave us a voicemail, or write a letter to your spouse!</a></li> </ul> <h2>Don't forget!</h2> <p>Please <strong>SUBSCRIBE</strong>, <strong>RATE</strong>, and <strong>REVIEW</strong> this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!</p>
Nov 14, 2017
Dealing with Financial Arguments: Why More Money Isn't the Solution
0:50:47
<p>Every couple deals with money issues at some point in their marriage. It's continually a source of stress and a trigger for arguments. Almost every problem around money stems from a lack of margin in every area of life. We tend to live our lives right to the edges, working long hours, spending too much, and struggling to find any semblance of peace in the process. Many (including us) have bought the subtle lie that money can somehow make everything better. So we work harder, strive more, and seek joy where it can't be found. Even if we do manage to get more money, we soon realize that it's not the savior we thought it would be. This inevitably puts stress on your relationship and can create division in your marriage.</p> <p>What's the fix? We explored exactly that in today's podcast. Listen in as we share honestly about some struggles we've had and take a deep look at Hebrews 13:5 and its surrounding context to discern God's desire for how we view and use money in our lives.</p> <h2>Mentioned in Today’s Show:</h2> <ul> <li>Related post: <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/managing-financial-stress-in-your-marriage">Managing Financial Stress in Your Marriage</a></li> <li>Learn more about <a rel="noopener" target="_blank" href="https://31daypursuit.com/"><em>The 31-Day Pursuit Challenge</em></a>, our couple’s devotional.</li> <li><a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast#questions">Ask any question, leave us a voicemail, or write a letter to your spouse!</a></li> </ul> <h1>Show Notes:</h1> <h2></h2> <ol> <li>Highs/Lows</li> <li><span>Discussion</span>: Money issues continue to plague couples. Why?<ol> <li>Many think their problems can be fixed with more money… but that’s not the case.</li> <li>We reviewed <a target="_blank" data-purpose="bible-reference" data-version="esv" data-reference="Heb 13.5" href="https://biblia.com/bible/esv/Heb%2013.5" class="rtBibleRef">Hebrews 13:5</a>:<br /><em>Keep your life free from </em>love<em> of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”</em></li> <li>The context of Hebrews: It’s a book written to encourage and remind Christians of the supremacy and sufficiency of Christ.</li> <li>Chapter 13 is all about “Sacrifices Pleasing to God.” This is all in the context of Christ’s sufficient work on the cross.</li> <li>Loving money is like “taking another lover” when God has made a covenant promise to us.</li> <li>Trusting money instead of God is to betray his love.</li> </ol></li> <li>Couple’s Challenge (see below)</li> <li>We discussed The 31-Day Pursuit</li> <li>Rapid Fire Q&amp;A</li> <li>Weekly Letter Reading</li> </ol> <h2><span>Today’s Couples Challenge:</span></h2> <div> <ul> <li>Pray together for open hearts regarding your finances.</li> <li>Read through Hebrews 13, pay close attention to the context surrounding verse 5.</li> <li>Discuss areas of your marriage and how they may be indicating “love of money”.</li> <li>Discuss how love can be a tool in your lives for God’s glory.</li> </ul> </div> <h2>Don’t forget!</h2> <p>Please <span>SUBSCRIBE</span>, <span>RATE</span>, and <span>REVIEW</span> this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!</p> <h2 id="questions">Do you have a question?</h2> <p>If you have a question, ask! Anything goes. Visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.</p>
Nov 07, 2017
Social Media and Marriage: Using Wisdom on Facebook, Instagram, etc.
0:46:41
<p>If left unchecked, your social media life can create problems in your marriage. The advent of social media sites has created much conversation about the privacy of users’ information. The result: each has increased user control over who can see each update, image, interaction, and like. In general, it’s a great improvement but for married couples, it raises an important question of transparency and accountability about your “social media life”.</p> <p>In today's podcast, we discuss Proverbs 4 and its various implications for how we wisely conduct ourselves online for the good of our marriages.</p> <h2>Mentioned in Today's Show:</h2> <ul> <li><a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/phone-drop-test" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Phone Drop Test (blog post)</a></li> <li><a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/is-your-facebook-life-a-wedge-in-your-marriage" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Is your Facebook Life a Wedge in Your Marriage? (blog post)</a> </li> <li>Learn more about <a href="https://31daypursuit.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>The 31-Day Pursuit Challenge</em></a>, our couple's devotional.</li> <li><a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast#questions">Ask any question, leave us a voicemail, or write a letter to your spouse!</a></li> </ul> <h1>Show Notes:</h1> <h2>Communication: Five Habits for Hearing and Being Heard</h2> <ol> <li>Highs/Lows</li> <li><strong>Discussion</strong>: What should I do when I feel like my spouse misuses social media (namely, Facebook)? <ul> <li>We reviewed Proverbs 4:23: "Keep your heart with all diligence..."</li> <li>Solomon wrote it. He had access to anything he wanted... instantly. Kind of like we do on the internet today.</li> <li>We looked at the larger context of Proverbs 4. <ul> <li>Hear wisdom, keep it close, and "here's how to apply it"</li> </ul> </li> <li>How do we apply wisdom to social media? <ul> <li>"Open windows, open doors, lights fully turned on."</li> <li>No hidden accounts or passwords.</li> <li>Be transparent with each other.</li> <li>Talk about questionable interactions.</li> <li>Being very mindful of posted imagery (by you and others). </li> <li>Don't PM/DM/Message anyone of the opposite gender (unless in a group context)</li> <li>Don't vent anger or frustration on social media at the expense of your spouse; it's always unproductive.</li> </ul> </li> <li>Bottom line: Wisdom compels us to guard our hearts against paths that lead to harm.</li> </ul> </li> <li>Couple's Challenge (see below)</li> <li>We discussed <a href="https://31daypursuit.com" target="_blank">The 31-Day Pursuit</a></li> <li>Rapid Fire Q&amp;A</li> <li>Weekly Letter Reading</li> </ol> <h2><strong>Today's Couples Challenge:</strong></h2> <div> <ul> <li>Discuss this podcast (both listen to it)</li> <li>Read through Proverbs 4 together and find one or two verses that jump out to you.</li> <li>Take a personal inventory for hidden areas in your life/marriage that go against wisdom.</li> <li>Make a plan to discuss hidden areas before they take root.</li> <li>Create a plan for healthy interaction with others and each other on social media.</li> </ul> </div> <h2>Don't forget!</h2> <p>Please <strong>SUBSCRIBE</strong>, <strong>RATE</strong>, and <strong>REVIEW</strong> this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!</p> <h2 id="questions">Do you have a question?</h2> <p>If you have a question, ask! Anything goes. Just go to <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast" target="_blank">https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast</a></p>
Oct 31, 2017
Communication: 5 Habits for Hearing and Being Heard the Healthy Way
0:53:31
<div>Communication is not just about saying and hearing words—it's all about relaying ideas accurately with the intent of building a mutual understanding. When you practice healthy habits for talking, listening, and processing together, it's for the good of your marriage and ultimately, for the glory of God.</div> <div></div> <div>If we are to have marriages that are healthy, enjoyable, and intentional, we must learn and apply wise principles to how we communicate. We must heed Solomon's words in Proverbs 18:2:</div> <blockquote class="gmail_quote"><i>A fool takes no pleasure in understanding but only in expressing his opinion.</i></blockquote> <div>Bad communication habits can stifle growth, inhibit intimacy, and create endless spouts of bickering, arguing, and division. However, healthy communication will fuel growth and intimacy and make your marriage resilient against otherwise devastating disagreements.</div> <div></div> <div>In today's podcast, we discuss biblical themes for healthy communication, why we are called to point our spouses to the gospel through how we listen, and five tangible steps (habits) that lead us down the path toward healthier communication.</div> <div> <h2>Mentioned in Today's Show:</h2> <ul> <li>Resource: <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/5-indispensable-habits-rock-solid-communication">5 Indispensable Habits for Rock Solid Communication</a></li> <li>Learn more about <a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/datebox">Datebox</a> and get your first month FREE.</li> <li>Learn more about <a href="https://31daypursuit.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>The 31-Day Pursuit Challenge</em></a>, our couple's devotional.</li> <li><a href="https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast#questions">Ask any question, leave us a voicemail, or write a letter to your spouse!</a></li> </ul> <h1>Show Notes:</h1> <h2>Communication: 5 Habits for Hearing and Being Heard the Healthy Way</h2> <ol> <li>Highs and Lows</li> <li>Dysfunction in marriage often manifests itself <strong>first</strong> through communication</li> <li>Two themes in scripture around communication:<ol> <li>A call to wisdom: be slow to speak, fast to listen, fast to wait</li> <li>Intentional communication with the purpose of being understood and understanding others</li> </ol></li> <li>Communication corruptors create unintentional misunderstandings</li> <li>Five habits for healthier communication:<ol> <li>Talk intentionally</li> <li>Listen intently</li> <li>Seek Understanding</li> <li>Act out of Love</li> <li>Rest in Your Covenant</li> </ol></li> <li>Couple's Challenge (see below)</li> <li>Rapid Fire Q&amp;A</li> <li>Read a letter from a wife to her husband</li> <li>Housekeeping and announcements</li> <li>Prayer</li> </ol> <p><strong>Today's Couples Challenge:</strong></p> <div>Listen to the podcast. Talk through the above points. Create a set of ground rules that protect your marriage against common pitfalls in your communication. Examples:</div> <div> <ul> <li><i>We won't start heavy conversations after we're both tired.<br /></i></li> <li><i>We will always resolve hard conversations.<br /></i></li> <li><i>We will not use hurtful language or namecalling when angry.<br /></i></li> <li><i>We understand that it's sometimes healthiest to step away from the situation to think and pray.<br /></i></li> <li><i>Etc...</i></li> </ul> </div> <h2>Don't forget!</h2> <p>Please <strong>SUBSCRIBE</strong>, <strong>RATE</strong>, and <strong>REVIEW</strong> this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you!</p> <h2 id="questions">Do you have a question?</h2> <p>If you have a question, ask! During each episode, we encourage listeners to share their stories, ask questions, or write letters to their loved ones. Anything goes... Just go to https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast to leave a question, comment, or story.</p> </div> <p> </p>
Oct 24, 2017
Fighting for Healthy Priorities: Embracing Your Limitations
0:45:59
<p>Keeping healthy priorities are a constant battle for modern marriages. By default we tend to our priorities in life and marriage as linear, or as a list:</p> <ol> <li>God</li> <li>Family</li> <li>Others</li> </ol> <p>While this list isn't necessarily bad, we believe there's a better way.</p> <p>In today's episode of the Fierce Marriage Podcast, we discuss a new way of looking at priorities that has revolutionized our marriage and transformed how we live our lives. We start the conversation by looking at two themes in Scripture:</p> <ul> <li>Our <strong>finitude</strong> as humans</li> <li>Our <strong>call</strong> as believers.</li> </ul> <p>Join in as we chip away at this massive truth to be had about priorities in light of the gospel.</p> <p><strong>Show notes:</strong></p> <ol> <li>Rapid Fire Q&amp;A: Selena is forced to answer some tough questions... namely, one she never thought she'd have to face.</li> <li>Hear one of the most poetic letters from a husband to his wife. <br />(Go to https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast to write and send a letter to your spouse!)</li> <li>We discuss priorities:<ol> <li>Scripture: Matthew 6:33 and Psalm 90:12</li> <li>Common problems What's wrong with "The List"</li> <li>We propose a better/more integrated model for priorities</li> <li>The Couple's Challenge (See below)</li> </ol></li> <li>We finished with our Highs &amp; Lows for the week prior.</li> <li>Prayer</li> </ol> <p><strong>Today's Couples Challenge: </strong></p> <p><strong></strong>Create a family vision statement (family verse, mission, core values, envision statements). Listen to the episode for more details about what this could mean for your family!</p>
Oct 17, 2017
Intimacy Without Frustration, Obligation, or Missed Expectations
0:41:40
<p>Many couples wonder how to gain agreement about sex and intimacy when life is busy, schedules are hectic, and expectations for sex seem constantly misaligned.</p> <p>If you're at all like us, you and your spouse probably don't desire sex the same way or with the same frequency. This can cause frustration in your marriage that, if left untreated or undiscussed, can turn into bitterness, division, and worse. Sex isn't everything in marriage, but it is very important to be unified and satisfied in your sex life together—for your enjoyment and for God's ultimate glory.</p> <p>In today's episode of The Fierce Marriage Podcast, we'll discuss:</p> <ul> <li>What if my spouse desires sex more often than I do?</li> <li>How can we be intimate without feeling obligated to do so?</li> <li>How do we align our expectations for sex in marriage?</li> </ul> <p class="c1"><b>Show Notes:</b></p> <ul> <li>We read <strong>1 Corinthians 7:5:</strong></li> <li> <em>"Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."</em></li> <li>A few cautions when reading the above passage: <ul> <li>It's not a tool to be used to demand sex in marriage.</li> <li>In context, this verse is about acting in mutual agreement to the common goal of greater intimacy and reliance on Christ.</li> <li>By choosing to abstain from sex for a time, to focus on spiritual growth. This is not a form of asceticism, but rather a method of grace-fueled worship.</li> </ul> </li> <li>If a couple is not actively agreeing to abstain from sex, they're passively (or actively) agreeing to NOT abstain from sex. If that's the case, your sex life should look "normal and healthy" for you, but it may take some digging to discover what that means. We proposed two steps: <ul> <li>Clearly define what "not abstaining" looks like and what a healthy, normal sex life looks like in your marriage.</li> <li>Calibrate your expectations for sex. Read our post, "The Spectrum of Sex".</li> </ul> </li> <li><strong>Couples Challenge:</strong> <ol> <li>Read <em>The Spectrum of Sex</em> together or separately.</li> <li>Discuss your expectations for sex, and what your spectrum might look like.</li> <li>Identify what a normal, healthy sex life looks like for your marriage and within God's design for sexuality.</li> <li>Create an action plan for building a normal, healthy sex life together.</li> </ol> </li> </ul>
Oct 10, 2017
Introducing the Fierce Marriage Podcast
0:44:51
<p>It's our first episode so some introductions are in order! In this episode of The Fierce Marriage Podcast, we'll answer common reader questions like: Who are we? What is Fierce Marriage and why did we start it? What does it mean to truly have Fierce Marriage? For fun, we talk about what it's like working together, our weekly highs and lows, and more. Most importantly, we discuss what it means to have Jesus truly at the center of your marriage. We also have a few hearty laughs as Selena answers this week's "Rapid-fire Q&amp;A" questions. Thanks for listening! Detailed show notes are available at https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast</p>
Oct 02, 2017