Light The Fight

By Elevate Podcasting

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Heidi Swapp, mother, entrepreneur and influencer of woman. Teams up with David Kozlowski Licensed marriage and family therapist to bring you a podcast that discusses all topics related to personal and family relationships. This unlikely duo was brought together by the death of Heidi’s son Cory, who passed away by suicide in July of 2015. Heidi and David discuss the most valuable things that have helped her these past couple years, along with questions from her followers that are looking for tools to improve their personal and family relationships. Heidi is not your typical mom and David is not your typical therapist. Their unique combination of comical banter, relatable information and honest expression of personal experiences. Makes this show a must listen for moms and dads needing help but not wanting to fall asleep while listening to another self-help podcast.

Episode Date
#017- "Connection vs. Concern"
In this episode, David and Heidi go more in-depth on the Instagram message from David on the deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. As well as discussing the current situation of the mental health discussion.
Jun 15, 2018
The DMs #010- "What To Do When Family Is Criticizing Your Parenting?"
David and Heidi breakdown skills and tools to help when family is criticizing your parenting skills.
Jun 11, 2018
#016- "The Oldest Child Relationship"
Finally, David addresses the long awaited topic of “THE OLDEST CHILD”. In this episode, David shares what he has learned in his schooling, as well as his clinical experience about the unique relationship between the Father and his oldest Son, and the Mother and her oldest Daughter. Learn about how critical an optimized relationship is to overcome difficult cycles within families.
Jun 07, 2018
The DMs #009- "What To Do When You Are Having Trust Issues With Your Teen?"
In DM #009, David confesses that this is a topic that he discusses with clients multiple times a week! “How can parents re-trust their teens?” You might be a little surprised to hear David’s advice.
Jun 04, 2018
The DMs #008- "How Do I Help My Teen/Kids With Anxiety?"
David and Heidi get a DM asking on the best way to support teens and kids that are dealing with Anxiety. David gives some suggestions of what you can do to support your teens and kids figuring out what works best for them.
Jun 01, 2018
#015- "From Resisting To Evolving"
Heidi shares her experience speaking at her community’s suicide awareness event, and how she has faced her own “resistance” and is seeking “Evolution” ... she also opens up about her first try at “video journaling”.
May 30, 2018
The DMs #007- "Talking About Cell Phones"
In this 7th DM, David responds to the many questions about cell phones, and how dangerous they are? Instead of debating the dangers, or the addictions of cell phones + social media combo, he talks about how effective our approach is in talking to our kids about this touchy subject! This episode will give you some thoughts on how to discuss it in a more open way with your teens.
May 23, 2018
The DMs #006- "How To Help My Spouse Understand Mental Illness?"
David and Heidi discuss how you can help someone understand the struggles you are going through and the struggles your kids are going through when they can't personally relate. In this episode, David discusses the book, "Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions" by Johann Hari You can purchase that book here:
May 20, 2018
#014- "Mirrors- Staring At A Mirror W/ Cracks Can Make You Look Broken"
This episode was originally filmed as part of a LIVE stream on Instagram and Facebook! David and Heidi discuss the concept of how we influence those around us by ourselves being MIRRORS that others see themselves in. How do we reflect back? How can we create a more positive reflection for those we come in contact with?
May 16, 2018
The DMs #005- "What to do When a Boy Threatens Suicide When Your Daughter Doesn't Like Him?"
In this DM, David and Heidi are asked a very serious question. "What to do When a Boy Threatens Suicide When Your Daughter Doesn't Like Him?" We give three different options on how to handle this situation. You can DM us at @lightthefight on social media, David @DavidKoz, Heidi @HeidiSwapp and you can email us at
May 12, 2018
#013- "Assertive Vulnerability Vs Victim Vulnerability"
Understanding the vital difference between “victim vulnerability” and “assertive vulnerability” is an absolute game changer in building relationships and creating connections. David explains (and demonstrates) the difference between the two types, giving an important clarity that can otherwise be misunderstood. Learn to spot examples of these two opposite approaches in your life, and how to become more ASSERTIVELY vulnerable in all your relationships, including yourself. In this episode, David and Heidi discuss the Books "Extreme Ownership" by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin and "The Way of The Warrior Kid" by Jocko Willink. To purchase Extreme Ownership: To purchase The Way of The Warrior Kid: Follow Light The Fight @lightthefight Heidi Swapp @heidiswapp and David Kozlowski @DavidKoz_
May 09, 2018
#012- "Guilt Vs. Shame 2.0"
David and Heidi dig deeper into the Guilt vs. Shame concept! Specifically, about the power and importance of "Best Friending" yourself...
May 03, 2018
The DMs #004- "How to Encourage My Kid to Be Social in Person Instead of Digital?"
In DM #004, Heidi reads a question from a mom who is concerned about her son’s "video game” to "real friends" ratio! David’s suggestion for approaching this very common issue, might not be what you expect! Would you believe David says “games first”?
May 01, 2018
#011- "Cheerleading"
The natural inclination that we feel as parents is to SAVE our children from things that might cause them HURT and PAIN! In this episode, Heidi remembers some valuable advice that David gave to her in a session they had 3 years ago. This information was hard for Heidi to hear because she felt so hard-wired to protect her son from his own choices. It’s ok to allow our kids to experience the hurt and pain associated with their actions; instead of saving them from it, learn how and what the parent’s role is to support throughout the challenges our kids are facing.
Apr 27, 2018
The DMs #003- "What To Do With Siblings That Fight With Each Other?"
David and Heidi respond to the DM’s! This time they discuss the struggle that happens between siblings! How do you get siblings to connect and communicate? David shares a great suggestion that you can start now to help build relationships in your family.
Apr 23, 2018
#010- "THE AND"
In a world that demands to be defined as one or the other: “yes or no”, “right or wrong”, “true or false”, “up or down”, “good or bad”… Episode 10 discusses a third option.
Apr 19, 2018
#009- "Choosing To Evolve"
Heidi brings a big question to David about helping anyone that is struggling with depression. However, she admits that the conversation doesn't go how she thought it would… and this episode really became an important discussion about how important it is to EVOLVE faster, and with more intention in making and building relationships. Follow us on Instagram @lightthefight Email questions to Be sure to connect with David and Heidi on Instagram @DavidKoz_ and @HeidiSwapp
Apr 10, 2018
The DMs #002- "How Can I Motivate My Once Self-Motivated Child?"
David and Heidi respond to the “DM’s”. This particular question has come in from several people… different situations and scenarios, but the question is very similar: how can I motivate my once self-motivated child? David’s advice goes hand in hand with the discussion from episode 8. Find out how to put your relationships first, and increase your influence as a parent.
Apr 05, 2018
#008- "Less Blow Up Equals More Follow Up"
How can you make sure that your kids know they did something wrong without losing your temper, and getting MAD? Sometimes parents may feel that it’s their responsibility to SHOW kids how upset they are to ensure kids are aware they are in trouble! David teaches: “the more you blow up, the less you follow up”! Find out what that means, and how to build relationships even when you are mad.
Apr 03, 2018
The DMs #001- "What Do We Do When Our Child Doesn't Want To Open Up/Go Back To Therapy?"
We invite your questions, and feedback at “Light the Fight”… The DMs #001 is the first dedicated “DM” episode where David and Heidi read a question that has been submitted, and answer it specifically. In this question, a concerned mom shares that her daughter has faced some difficult times, and is now very disconnected seems unwilling to seek help. She asks what can she do now? This feels like a very common concern from parents who are afraid that they have made parenting mistakes, and wonder what they can do to leave the past where it belongs, and move forward.
Mar 27, 2018
#007- "Check Your Motivations"
In Episode #7, Heidi talks about the importance of recognizing the motivations behind your actions. Understanding why you (as a parent) do what you do, will help you to attach appropriate expectations for their response to your actions. Ultimately, we talk about separating our expectations, and motivations from the way that we show and give love and appreciation for one another. For questions, email us at
Mar 22, 2018
#006- "Know Less So Your Kid Can Learn More"
This episode of “Light the Fight” podcast gets into some secrets of David’s for helping people work through their problems in certain situations. Parents’ instinct is to jump right into problem-solving mode with their kids when they are faced with difficult situations. Find out how to give space and allow connection to foster finding solutions, rather than delivering lectures!
Mar 20, 2018
#005- "Statements vs. Questions"
In Episode 5, David recaps an important TOOL that he taught at the live “First Responder” event last week. This important skill helps parents to create a connection with kids and “RELATE”, in order to initiate productive conversations about important topics, as well as regular day to day interaction. Heidi shares a critical moment that she was able to put this instruction into action, and witness the benefit of using “statements” instead of questioning.
Mar 15, 2018
#004- "The Kryptonite To Depression Is Connection"
David has been telling both kids and adults for years that “connection is the kryptonite for depression” , and this is exactly what he taught to Heidi, her husband and son during their first counseling session. In episode #4, Heidi and David discuss the challenges and importance of creating real connections. Since social media and our virtual relationships aren’t going away anytime soon, what are some ways that we can encourage and foster real-life interaction? It’s imperative for individuals to realize how critical real connections are to our well-being as a humans! By simply having conversations about this concept inside our families, it will create awareness of the need for real connections! Since you can’t work on something you don’t know is a problem, awareness is the first hurdle! Because creating connection requires patience and effort, it won’t come easy…but understanding that can help create appropriate expectations, and a desire to allow them to happen! Oh and remember, you have to ‘go first’.
Mar 08, 2018
#003- "Shame In Motion"
Heidi named this episode “shame in motion” because she shares a personal story about the moment that all of the information that she had been learning about the “Shame Game” crossed over from a theoretical concept, to an actual TOOL for improving an important relationship. David explains how he helped Heidi turn a blow up, into an opportunity for connection to strengthen that relationship! Learn how to adjust your perception of your shame, and view it in a different way… which will create motivation rather than frustration.
Mar 08, 2018
#002- "Guilt vs. Shame"
As a 40-something, mother-of-five … Heidi was surprised to learn that there was a major difference between “guilt” and “shame”. In episode 2, Heidi explains how learning about this distinction was a major light bulb moment, and opened her understanding to not only her kid’s struggles… but also her own. David explains what he calls “the shame game”, and discusses 2 kinds of vulnerability. Learn how to diffuse the power of shame through opening up and talking about it.
Mar 08, 2018
#001- "Introductions"
Welcome to the first episode of the “Light the Fight” podcast! In this first episode, David and Heidi introduce themselves and talk about how and why they met. Since that time, Heidi has been learning more about the mental and emotional challenges that we all face and how they influence our relationships. Heidi has experienced first hand, the worry and fear of having a teen struggling with these challenges, and not knowing how to help. The “Light the Fight” podcast will present topics that parents need to understand in order to “RESPOND” to their kids, instead of “REACT”, and then “INITIATE”. While most of these topics are basic to the understanding and improvement of relationships, we as parents are expected to know this stuff… but have never formally been taught! We start here with an important TOOL for dealing with a child when something has gone wrong: “Be a first RESPONDER, not a first REACTOR”. Follow Heidi on Facebook and Instagram @HeidiSwapp Follow David on Instagram @DavidKoz_
Mar 01, 2018