The Love and Respect Podcast: Relationships | Marriage | Theology | Psychology

By Emerson Eggerichs PhD and Jonathan Eggerichs PsyD

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Description

Emerson Eggerichs, PhD, pastor, best-selling author, acclaimed speaker, and president of Love and Respect Ministries, alongside his son, Jonathan Eggerichs, PsyD, talk about Love and Respect — a Relationship Secret Hidden in Plain Sight — a simple principle connecting theology and psychology. This podcast highlights discussions between pastor and clinical psychologist, father and son, that is certain to serve and encourage males and females alike. No one and no relationship, whether inside or outside the home, is off-limits. Email the show at podcast@loveandrespect.com.

Episode Date
Episode 125 - Saying "Thanks" Versus Being Grateful - Part II
36:07

We can say "thanks" but not be grateful. We can mouth words but our hearts are elsewhere. We are fixated on ourselves. We have probably all seen this in ourselves. The Bible says in 2 Timothy 3:2 that people can be "lovers of self... ungrateful." We can even sing a song of thanks while in a worship service at church but inwardly dwell on the hurt and offense we feel toward someone who wronged us the day before. Join Emerson and Jonathan in part 2 this week and continuing the conversation about gratefulness but focusing on the intangible. 

Dec 02, 2016
Episode 124 - Saying "Thanks" Versus Being Grateful - Part I
35:27

We can say "thanks" but not be grateful. We can mouth words but our hearts are elsewhere. We are fixated on ourselves. We have probably all seen this in ourselves. The Bible says in 2 Timothy 3:2 that people can be "lovers of self... ungrateful." We can even sing a song of thanks while in a worship service at church but inwardly dwell on the hurt and offense we feel toward someone who wronged us the day before. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week in this two part series which starts with how we can be grateful for the tangible things in our lives. 

Nov 25, 2016
Episode 123 - Parenting: Chronic Anger or Chronic Appeasement? Part II
35:08

Emerson and Jonathan continue this important topic in part 2 this week, including adding a third component of apathy. What is the Issue? Children need to honor parents and show this in their respectful attitude and obedient actions.  However, many parents do not always feel respected nor obeyed so they seek methods that will motivate the child to be respectful and obedient. How do we deal with this Issue? There are right ways of dealing with this and wrong ways. 

Nov 18, 2016
Episode 122 - Parenting- Chronic Anger or Chronic Appeasement Part I
35:01

What is the Issue? Children need to honor parents and show this in their respectful attitude and obedient actions.  However, many parents do not always feel respected nor obeyed so they seek methods that will motivate the child to be respectful and obedient. How do we deal with this Issue? There are right ways of dealing with this and wrong ways. Join Emerson and Jonathan in Part I this week as they explore this topic.

Nov 11, 2016
Episode 121 - 8 Ways To Jump Off The Crazy Cycle
38:47

Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss 8 ways to prevent and get off the Crazy Cycle (see Episode 1 for a deeper explanation of the Crazy Cycle. Examples include what to do when you see the spirit of your spouse deflate, accepting some trouble as normal, and trusting in each other's goodwill. 

Nov 04, 2016
Episode 120 - The Four Seasons of Marriage - Part III
40:31

Join Emerson and Jonathan for Part III of this three part series. Why is marital paradise lost? Why do couples feel they have left Eden and live in a jungle of sorts?  Since Scripture indicates couples will have trouble in this life why are husbands and wives unprepared?  The answer is simple: they do not anticipate and accept the four seasons.  In one way or another all couples will go through the four seasons.  Those who go through them without defeat do so because they anticipate and accept the process. 

Oct 28, 2016
Episode 119 - The Four Seasons of Marriage - Part II
34:35

Join Emerson and Jonathan for Part II of this three part series. Why is marital paradise lost? Why do couples feel they have left Eden and live in a jungle of sorts?  Since Scripture indicates couples will have trouble in this life why are husbands and wives unprepared?  The answer is simple: they do not anticipate and accept the four seasons.  In one way or another all couples will go through the four seasons.  Those who go through them without defeat do so because they anticipate and accept the process. 

Oct 21, 2016
Episode 118 - The Four Seasons of Marriage - Part I
42:47

Why is marital paradise lost?  Why do couples feel they have left Eden and live in a jungle of sorts?  Since Scripture indicates couples will have trouble in this life why are husbands and wives unprepared?  The answer is simple: they do not anticipate and accept the four seasons.  In one way or another all couples will go through the four seasons.  Those who go through them without defeat do so because they anticipate and accept the process. Join Emerson and Jonathan for Part I of this series.

Oct 14, 2016
Episode 117 - Submission and Mutual Submission - Yikes!
35:25

**Jonathan's audio sounds poor and the issue was a bad cable.  Our apologies. 

Submission, mutual submission, headship, authority, responsibility, equality, and decision making. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss these very lite topics which stir up very few strong emotions in people :)

Oct 07, 2016
Episode 116 - After The "Oops" Just Apologize And Make It Right
40:46

When we miscommunicate, most people readily forgive when we ask them to forgive us. After all, they themselves have misspoken and have little interest in throwing stones. This is especially so when they see us making an honest mistake. What drives people nuts is when they feel that we spoke or wrote something that was designed to hurt or offend them, and we have no intentions of owning up to it, apologizing, and correcting our error. Join Emerson and Jonathan this as they discuss this topic and some examples of what to do if we hurt someone long ago. Also check out a recent publicized example of an apology HERE.

Sep 30, 2016
Episode 115 - Have You Seen These Crazy Cycles Between Managers and Employees?
37:35

Men and women need love and respect as human beings in the workplace. Though there are daily demands to fulfill the mission of the organization apart from these emotional attitudes toward each other, that company will perform well when the men and women get on what I call the Crazy Cycle. Without love (care) a woman reacts without respect and without respect a man reacts without love (care). But added to this craziness is the tension between managers and employees. When employees feel unloved (uncared for) they react in ways that feel disrespectful to managers and when managers feel disrespected they react in ways that feel unloving (uncaring) to employees. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this new topic.

Sep 23, 2016
Episode 114 - In Business, What's Love and Respect Got to Do With It?
31:51

There are two elements that are foundational to the long-term success of an organization. As odd as this may sound, they are love and respect. Said negatively and drastically, if there is hostility and contempt, the organization cannot continue to succeed if it has succeeded, at least not significantly. Put it this way, good people leave and customers sense something is wrong. Join Emerson and Jonathan as they discuss this topic of business, which does apply to other environments such as teacher and student, coach and player, etc. 

Sep 16, 2016
Episode 113 - Why Confess Our Unloving and Disrespectful Comments?
38:23

Why confess our unloving and disrespectful comments? If the roles were reversed, we'd expect another to confess to us. If another was mean to us, blamed us for their unkind reactions, made light of their unkindnesses since they meant no harm, and justified or denied their personal unresolved issues contributing to their hostilities and contempt toward us, we'd be up in arms. We'd be saying, "Wow, can't you at least humbly apologize for your part?" Join Emerson and Jonathan this week for this important topic.

Sep 09, 2016
Episode 112 - Why Do I Rebel Against Being Kind, Loving, and Respectful?
36:40

Some of us declare, "It's my life. I make the rules. Keep your nose out of my affairs." At one level such independence is commendable and noble. But what occurs when you say to another, "If I wish to communicate what is untrue, unkind, unnecessary, and unclear to you, I will, and it's none of your business"? No one responds to a person like that. But what if certain rules and principles are sacred? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they talk about the kindness rule and how inviting it can be in marriage and life.

Sep 02, 2016
Episode 111 - Nine Episodes of Untrue Communications: Can You Relate? - Part II
37:10

In part 2 of this two part series, Emerson and Jonathan continue to discuss the topic of lying. This stems from Emerson's recent writing for a new book coming out in 2017. Throughout the 9 episodes or examples of untrue communication consider which ones you have observed and how often you think such things happen, whether with you or others. Part 2 also includes a story that continues to impact Emerson.

Aug 26, 2016
Episode 110 - Nine Episodes of Untrue Communications: Can You Relate? - Part I
35:07

In this two part series, Emerson and Jonathan discuss the topic of lying. This stems from Emerson's recent writing for a new book coming out in 2017. Throughout the 9 episodes or examples of untrue communication consider which ones you have observed and how often you think such things happen, whether with you or others.

Aug 19, 2016
Episode 109 - Have You Ever Been Overlooked?
48:16

Join Emerson, Jonathan, and their first guest, Joy Eggerichs Reed, on this weeks episode as they discuss what it’s like and what we can do when we are overlooked, when we go unpicked, or our efforts go unrecognized. 

Aug 12, 2016
Episode 108 - Do Some Husbands Live By A Double Standard And Is That Ok Because They Can't Help It? - Part II
37:03

In Part II this week Emerson and Jonathan continue the discussion about some husbands habitually looking at other women and having a double standard. Knowing this double standard exists, what should a husband and wife now do about his looking at other women? Emerson and Jonathan attempt to answer this question.

Aug 05, 2016
Episode 107 - Do Some Husbands Live By A Double Standard And Is That Ok Because They Can't Help It? - Part I
30:42

Do husbands have a double standard? Emerson and Jonathan invite you to join them this week and consider one that they have observed. Some wives hear from their husbands, “I can look at women because God designed me to look at the female figure, but you must not look at men.” While the subject of pornography is an important issue this episode is not about that. Instead, this episode looks at husbands who habitually look at women around them.

Jul 29, 2016
Episode 106 - Do Some Wives Live by A Double Standard, And Is That Ok Because They Are Vulnerable Victims? Part II
35:50

In part 2 Emerson answers the question, "Where do we go from here?" continuing the discussion of the double standard that confuses some husbands and will definitely confuse young sons who will see men and women as equal but women getting a pass for having attitudes that when manifested in men are condemned as self-centered arrogance. Look at the next couple of episodes for this topic as it relates to men.

Jul 22, 2016
Episode 105 - Do Some Wives Live by A Double Standard, And Is That Ok Because They Are Vulnerable Victims? Part I
26:53

In this week's episode Emerson and Jonathan highlight a double standard that confuses some husbands and will definitely confuse our young sons who will see men and women as equal but women getting a pass for having attitudes that when manifested in men are condemned as self-centered arrogance. Stay tuned for Part II of this topic and then the same topic as it applies to men in the coming weeks. 

Jul 15, 2016
Episode 104 - The Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships - Part II - Rick Warren Invites Emerson to Speak at Saddleback Church
23:28

Part II - Rick Warren invited Emerson to speak at Saddleback Church on the topic of relationships. Presented to more than 20,000 people, listen in as Emerson focuses on these three areas:

1. What Are the Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships?

2. What Happens When We Innocently Overlook These Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships?

3. How Do We Ensure Applying These Two Key Ingredients In Order to Succeed in Relationships?

Jul 08, 2016
Episode 103 - What Are the Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships? Part I - Rick Warren Invites Emerson To Speak
28:09

Rick Warren invited Emerson to speak at Saddleback Church on the topic of relationships. Presented to more than 20,000 people, listen in as Emerson focuses on these three areas (this is Part I of II):

1. What Are the Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships?

2. What Happens When We Innocently Overlook These Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships?

3. How Do We Ensure Applying These Two Key Ingredients In Order to Succeed in Relationships?

Jul 01, 2016
Episode 102 - Does God Want Me To Divorce To Be Happy?
32:57

“God wants you to be happy.” Have you heard this platitude before? Has it perhaps been spoken to you? Maybe you’ve even heard it said in the context of someone being encouraged to divorce their spouse, because “God wants you to be happy.” However, some platitudes, though quite memorable, are not based on biblical truth. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this important topic.

Jun 24, 2016
Episode 101 - My Response Is My Responsibility - Part II
36:03

Join Emerson and Jonathan this week for part 2 of My Response Is My Responsibility. In discussing this challenging but freeing topic they will look at the fact that no one can make a person disobey God, owning one’s responses, letting others off the hook and confronting others.

Jun 17, 2016
Episode 100 - My Response Is My Responsibility - Part I
38:41

We possess a God given right to rule our own inner responses. No one can make us hate them. No one can force us to have contempt for them. That’s a choice we make. Others cannot make that decision for us. What brings a person to this place of freedom? How does a person discover their right to rule their inner response? It begins with subscribing to this axiom: My Response is My Responsibility. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this topic.

Jun 10, 2016
Episode 099 - Can We Manipulate Each Other With The Love And Respect Teaching?
35:35

Though God commands the husband to love and a wife to respect, a strange twist might take place. A wife puts on respect for one reason: to get her husband to be loving. A husband puts on love solely to get his wife to respect him. One pastor wrote Emerson and shared his concerns fearing this very thing: that husbands and wives will manipulate each other when applying love and respect based on Ephesians 5:33.  Join Emerson and Jonathan this weeks as they discuss this topic. 

Jun 03, 2016
Episode 098 - Why Are Believers Mad At God? Part 2
42:32

Join Emerson and Jonathan in Part 2 of this series as they examine four reasons someone might hate or be mad at God: Cursing when suffering, Hostile when disobeying, Hating when proven guilty, Raging when foolish. Does the Bible teach that people who claim to believe in God can hate God? Jesus said, “He who hates Me hates My Father also” (John 15:23). So according to Jesus, yes, people can hate God the Father. And for those of us who believe Jesus is God’s Son, people can hate the Son of God. The apostle Paul tells us that there will be “haters of God” (Romans 1:30). People who believe in God can hate God. You cannot hate someone you do not believe exists. 

Don't forget to sign up for our Podcast 100 giveaway HERE. 

May 27, 2016
Episode 097 - Why Are Believers Mad At God? Part I
41:08

Does the Bible teach that people who claim to believe in God can hate God? Jesus said, “He who hates Me hates My Father also” (John 15:23). So according to Jesus, yes, people can hate God the Father. And for those of us who believe Jesus is God’s Son, people can hate the Son of God. The apostle Paul tells us that there will be “haters of God” (Romans 1:30). People who believe in God can hate God. You cannot hate someone you do not believe exists. Join Emerson and Jonathan over the next two episodes as they examine four reasons someone might hate God: Cursing when suffering, Hostile when disobeying, Hating when proven guilty, Raging when foolish.

May 20, 2016
Episode 096 - Do You Feel Judged as Stupid or Wrong, Which Leaves You Feeling Unloved and Disrespected?
34:45

We can feel stupid and wrong in our marriage. When we feel stupid and wrong in the marriage, we can draw conclusions about ourselves that are untrue in the eyes of God and react in ways that won’t remedy the pain, such as believing the lie (s) about ourselves or considering divorce. Our spouse will affect us emotionally but negative words cannot determine who God made us to be. We can begin to realize inner wisdom and the rightness about how we are living, even if a spouse refuses to acknowledge it. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this topic.

May 13, 2016
Episode 095 - What Did You Do To Come Through Your Marital Crisis?
38:53

Are you in or have you come through a marital crisis? You could be the innocent victim with a wounded heart who experienced shock or the remorseful offender with a contrite heart who experienced shame. There could have been any number of reasons for the crisis. Typically, though, a crisis falls under one or more of what Emerson refers to as the six A’s: adultery, abandonment, abuse, addiction, adversity, and apathy. Your situation may involve something outside of those, but join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this topic and email Emerson regarding how you are making it through or made it through the crisis at story@loveandrespect.com, including if you are listening to this months or years after it was posted. There is an attached document in the show notes available for download to guide your thinking and email. 

Email Crisis Guide

May 06, 2016
L&RP Episode 094 - What if Love and Respect Do Not Work With My Spouse?
35:38

Some people live in fear that as they seek to apply the Love and Respect message their spouse will not respond in like manner, and then when that happens it confirms their fears. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this important topic.

Apr 29, 2016
Episode 093 - What is so Unique about Emerson's Message to Mothers?
36:47

Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss Emerson's most recent book, Mother & Son: The Respect Effect, a book that Emerson sees as an encyclopedia of information that a mom can turn to during various moments of conflict with her son. In this episode three topics are discussed: The Message of Respect is unique compared to the message of love; The Outcome of Respect is unique according to mothers; and The Thirst for Respect is unique in boys compared to girls.

Apr 22, 2016
Episode 092- Why Do Good Willed Wives Feel Frustrated?
34:15

This week Emerson and Jonathan look at the behavior of a husband who bullies. There are many things that hurt and frustrate wives but there is a type of female who emails Emerson with this complaint: "I must stuff my feelings, keep my mouth shut, and do as he says." While some wives who write this type of email may be overreacting or misrepresenting the facts, despotic husbands exist who roar commands at their good willed wives. Their excessive and unloving decrees leave their wives feeling hurt, frustrated, confused, and worthless. Join Emerson and Jonathan as they discuss this topic.

Apr 15, 2016
Episode 091 - Why Do Good Willed Husbands Feel Frustrated?
35:08

In this week's episode Emerson and Jonathan look at a specific example of a husband and wife disagreeing on how they should approach their son, where the husband is reporting significant frustration. Taking the position that mothers and wives are never mean-spirited in such situations but that they truly care, Emerson discusses how her fears and care have unintended consequences toward the good willed husband.

Apr 08, 2016
Episode 090 - 19 Love and Respect Truisms and Principles to Live By
34:09

Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss 19 simple, yet sometimes difficult to do, principles from the Love and Respect message. From monitoring your thoughts and feelings in interactions with your spouse, to what to say and do, practicing a few of these can improve your marriage.

 

Apr 01, 2016
Episode 089 - Are Husbands Hyper-Sensitive or Just Highly-Sensitive to Disrespect?
41:21

Some husbands are hyper-sensitive to anything that strikes them as disrespectful. They overreact to their good willed wives who do not intend any such disrespect. Sadly, these men read disrespect into her every question, concern, or disagreement. Some husbands are just sensitive to undeserving disrespect. Though they humbly appeal to their wives to halt the rudeness toward them as men, husbands and fathers, these women claim the husbands are overly sensitive. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this important issue.  See episode 088 to hear this topic as it pertains to wives.

Mar 25, 2016
Episode 088 - Are Wives HyperSensitive or Just Highly Sensitive to A Husband’s Unclear Comments?
38:12

Typically speaking, most husbands are assured of their wives love. Women are virtuous and excellent caregivers. Because of a wife’s loving and nurturing nature few men have an undercurrent of curiosity and insecurity about a wife’s love. Women love to love, and men know this.  However, with many wives there is an undercurrent of curiosity and insecurity that they possess in their souls that their husbands do not possess: “Does he really love me as much as I love him?” Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this topic. Husbands: If you use this information against your wife, claiming she is hyper-sensitive, and you say it in an unloving way, then you are in the fact the insensitive one.

Mar 18, 2016
Episode 087 - 3 Goals in Dating That Lead to a Successful Marriage - Part 3
32:44

In Part 3 of this series on dating Emerson looks back briefly at becoming a mature person and looking for a mature person but that for Christians a third component is needed, Doing God's Will As a Couple.  When we do not have a purpose beyond ourselves, we end up focusing only on ourselves.  When we do not think of something bigger than ourselves, we will only think of ourselves. When nothing is more important than ourselves, than we alone are important. However, when we fight for something bigger than ourselves, we fight with each other less! That may not be the most noble of reasons to follow Christ but it certainly leads to marital satisfaction!

Mar 11, 2016
Episode 086 - 3 Goals in Dating That Lead to a Successful Marriage - Part 2
38:10

Emerson and Jonathan continue this three part series on what leads to a successful marriage. In Part 1 they looked at being a mature person.  In Part 2 they look at finding a mature person. This three part series is perfect for anyone who is dating or unmarried, but also for anyone who knows someone that is. Additionally, do you have children or plan on having children? This can help you in your conversations with them about marriage.

Mar 04, 2016
Episode 085 - 3 Goals in Dating That Lead to a Successful Marriage
34:34

This three part series is perfect for anyone who is dating or unmarried, but also for anyone who knows someone that is. Additionally, do you have children or plan on having children? This can help you in your conversations with them about marriage. In thinking about his own daughter's upcoming marriage Emerson composed his thoughts on preparing for marriage, which includes being a mature person, looking for a mature person, and being motivated by Christ's mission as a couple. 

Feb 26, 2016
Episode 084 - God Joined you together - What Does This Mean?
35:04

Does God intend to direct our steps to one and only one person that He designed from eternity past to be our soul-mate? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss the topic of a soul-mate. Whether you are a person looking to get married or have been married for many years but think you married the wrong person, this episode will provide insight.

Feb 19, 2016
Episode 083 - What is the Issue When the Issue Isn’t the Issue?
32:04

Drawing upon principles of the Crazy Cycle Emerson responds separately to a wife and to a husband about two different issues.  He helps them understand that they need to approach their spouse with love and respect, which is an issue, while still addressing the topic at hand. This episode will help listeners discern what really is the issue when an issue is being discussed.

Feb 12, 2016
Episode 082 - Is Your Wife Really Trying To Be Negative and Disrespectful?
30:47

A husband wrote, “My wife and I have been married for almost two years. . . . Our disagreements are centered on her emotional outbursts and my lack of emotion. . . .  I do love the emotion my wife has and I know God has us together to love and respect each other as we seek to glorify him, but I struggle when my wife justifies some behavior as her uncontrollable emotional reaction. I am not looking for something to condemn her with, instead I would like your viewpoint on how one best handles this type of ongoing disagreement.” Emerson responds in this week's episode.

Feb 05, 2016
Episode 081 - After An Affair Is Ongoing Contact With the Other Person Ok?
41:23

Over the years Emerson has received hundred of emails regarding affairs, often from the betrayed spouse asking what they should do.  Both Emerson and Jonathan have also listened to countless stories of infidelity as they counsel individuals and couples. Join them this week as they explore a response Emerson wrote to a man who wondered if he was handling things correctly following an affair.  This message is applicable for husband and wife, both the betrayed and the betrayer.  

Jan 29, 2016
Episode 080 - What Does Regularly Playing the Lotto Do to the Soul?
37:34

In this week's episode Emerson and Jonathan discuss a number of issues pertaining to playing the lotto and money.  Here are some of the topics: two types of people who buy lotto tickets; the addicted poor; lovers of money or lovers of God; wandering from the faith; and what are people's true beliefs.

Jan 22, 2016
Episode 079 - True or False: What Is Desirable In A Man Is His Kindness?
33:13

Is it true that what is wanted in a person is for this individual to be friendly, generous, and considerate? Yes. Proverbs 19:22 states, "What is desirable in a man is his kindness." Why is this a desirable trait? People know they will respond to a kind individual. Kindness motivates people to act. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss the topic of kindness.

Jan 15, 2016
Episode 078 - Losing Makes Us a Winner! How To Be Resolute
36:19

From third grade to eighth grade Emerson was overweight. He wore Husky pants. His legs rubbed together when he ran. His belly hung over the front of his pants. Sometimes people called him “fatty.” He would often cry. The Bible says, "Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness; for bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come” (1 Timothy 4:7–8). Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they talk about being resolute in the new year. 

Jan 08, 2016
Episode 077 - 9 Ways To Fuel Disagreements Into a Feud
38:30

Over time, two people can hurt, frustrate, confuse, and anger the other. She feels that her differing opinion and convictions do not matter to him as much as his own ideas matter. Or, he feels that his differing outlook and beliefs have little importance to her compared to how she feels about her views. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss how individuals begin to feel that their ideas do not matter and that they do not matter on the heels of another disagreement, but how they must guard against the 9 Ways to Fuel Disagreements Into a Feud.

Jan 01, 2016
Episode 076 - Three Reasons Some Do Some Not Have a Filter On Their Words
36:22

Some of us need a filter on our speech when we communicate. When we lack a filter we undermine our effectiveness in communicating with people. With whom we communicate falls into three groups: family and friends, coworkers and neighbors, or acquaintances and strangers. This filter consists of asking three questions before communicating: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss an important topic.

Dec 25, 2015
Episode 075 - Are You Offended By The Inoffensive?
38:20

Though a person appears to be unloving and disrespectful, to the point where I even feel unloved and disrespected, could I have actually misinterpreted the appearance? When I feel offended by another, does that mean the other person is automatically an offensive person, or could I feel offended by something that in fact is inoffensive? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this topic.

Dec 18, 2015
Episode 074 - When We Address a Man’s Needs, Why Do Some Women Hijack the Discussion?
34:59

Some feel that when we talk about what is true of most males we are implying this is untrue of women. When some ladies feel this way, they change the focus to the woman. Why? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss a difficult topic following and expanding upon a recent blog. WARNING: This may be difficult for some to hear and we aren't talking about the volume.  

Dec 11, 2015
Episode 073 - What’s Wrong With Thinking Another Person Is Right?
38:47

Do you believe one spouse’s report without ever hearing the other spouse tell their side of the story? Why? Although a question about marriage, listen in as Emerson and Jonathan discuss this question and how the answer is applicable to all walks of life. How most know that we must hear both sides in a court of law, how the Bible teaches us why, and where we read in Proverbs 18:17 and other scriptures, "The first to plead his case seems right, until another comes and examines him." It is a basic truth: when only one person tells their side of the story it seems convincing. However, when another questions and even counters, a different picture emerges. 

Dec 04, 2015
Episode 072 - 3 Reasons Some Counselors Are Bad At Marriage Counseling
42:18

This week Emerson and Jonathan discuss some of the difficulties in finding a good Christian marriage counselor. They discuss how some counselors have a difficult time working with couples because of an individualistic approach, how some counselors have a negative male bias, and how some counselors maintain moral neutrality, plus practical recommendations for dealing with these issues.  Whether for you or someone you know, this episode will be helpful for those in or considering marital counseling.

Nov 28, 2015
Episode 071 - Do You Remain Thankful During The Tough Times?
33:58

Are you thankful in the good times? Are you thankful in the difficult times? The Bible states that it is God's will that we be thankful, no matter the circumstances, although not necessarily for the circumstances. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this important topic during the Thanksgiving season. 

Nov 20, 2015
Episode 070 - Why The Deception In Marriage?
43:01

In this episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss six examples of the hurt the innocent party feels when discovering their husband or wife lies to them: three examples from wives and three from husbands. Reasons for the lying occurring and what should have been done are discussed. Listeners are encouraged to come up with their own answers, apply to their own relationships and share with others.

Nov 13, 2015
Episode 069 - Are Our Parents To Blame For Our Issues?
36:22

Many of us look at the things in ourselves that we do not like and at the negative reactions from people we do not like, and we wonder, Do these problems exist in my life because of my parents? If they had been better parents, or had treated me better, then surely I’d be a better person with fewer personal and interpersonal problems, right? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this important issue. 

Nov 06, 2015
Episode 068 - Parenting God's Way - Part 2
30:35

Listen to Emerson this week as he wraps up his message on parenting. Through three points Emerson will again help listeners parent God's way. 

Oct 30, 2015
Episode 067 - Parenting God's Way Part 1
32:49

Hear Emerson speak on the topic of parenting this week.  A powerful two part sermon on why we parent God's way, this topic will be enlightening and freeing to many people. Whether a parent in crisis, a parent who has it all together right now, a parent with grown children, or someone who is not even a parent yet, this will impact you. 

Oct 23, 2015
Episode 066 - Our Marriage Hit Rock Bottom - A Wife’s Story
29:31

Listen in this week as Emerson and Jonathan discuss a wife's story about her marriage hitting rock bottom and what she did about it. Here are a few of her words - We went to counseling, and that did not seem to help. My husband told me he loved me, but wasn’t attracted to me and didn’t feel “in love” with me...I decided to try one of your exercises. I told my husband why I respected him. I remember having to think about it all night.

Oct 16, 2015
Episode 065 - Does Your Spouse Dictate Your Worth as a Person? Who Determines Who You Are?
31:19

In every marriage each spouse negatively affects the other, at least sometimes. When on the receiving end of the negativity, we feel disappointed, sad, hurt, grieved, frustrated, angry, and even devastated. In some instances, the pain proves nearly unbearable, such as when a spouse serves us divorce papers. We are not mechanical robots without emotions. But can a spouse make us feel worthless in the core of our being, ordaining that our life has no meaning or purpose? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this topic.

Oct 09, 2015
Episode 064 - What Did We Know about Marriage as a Six-Year-Old but Forgot as an Adult?
32:05

Have we forgotten what we knew about marriage at age six? In response to a recent video that went viral, Emerson and Jonathan discuss the things we knew as children, such as, mommy and daddy ought to be friendly with each other because all mommies and daddies ought to be friends. What we knew, why things often change, and then three practical ways friendship can enter a marriage again are discussed. 

Oct 02, 2015
Episode 063 - Experiencing The Presence of God
45:56

Emerson and Jonathan discuss how to experience the presence of God this week. As you draw near to God, you can experience God Himself. You can fully devote yourself to the Lord whether you are celibate and undistracted or married and distracted. The point is simply to draw near to God and begin to experience His awesome presence in your life. When you do, good things happen.

Sep 25, 2015
Episode 062 - Do You BOTH Take Responsibility for the Lack of Love and Respect?
38:32

This week Emerson and Jonathan discuss how good things happen to a couple when both contend they are the one responsible for the lack of love and respect in the marriage. For instance when both say, “My response is my responsibility and I could have been more loving and respectful even when you were having a bad day,” the nature of the marriage changes for the better—much better.

Sep 18, 2015
Episode 061 - Do the Prayers of a Person Make a Difference in Their War Room?
35:38

Emerson recently saw the movie War Room and came away thinking about the topic of prayer, reflecting on the legacy of prayer in his family.  Emerson believes the prayers of his grandmother, whom he never knew, as well as another godly woman, impacted his family significantly and that praying for our spouse, children, and others is something many of us are missing out on. The impact can be significant!

Sep 11, 2015
Episode 060 - How a Wife Won Her Husband - His Testimony
33:11

Through the testimony of a husband who engaged in online affairs, Emerson and Jonathan discuss and respond to his report that his wife facilitated the reconciliation through her words and behavior. He said, "She showed me respect when I did not deserve it." 

Sep 04, 2015
Episode 059 - Respect Talk: A Husband's Mother-Tongue
35:12

In this week's episode Emerson and Jonathan look specifically at the topic of respect as it pertains to a husband. Why respect? When a wife feels unloved, her tendency is to be disrespectful. Her disrespect is her attempt to motivate her husband to change. Her dark look, negative words and unsupportive actions are designed to send him a message: “You are hurting me. Be more loving!” But no husband feels fond feelings of affection toward a woman he thinks despises him (2 Samuel 6:16).

Aug 28, 2015
Episode 058 - My Wife is Leaving Me
32:42

Why does it take a crisis of a spouse leaving to awaken a person to their unloving and disrespectful behavior? Emerson and Jonathan attempt to answer this question by looking at a recent testimony from a husband who confessed and awakened. 

Aug 21, 2015
Episode 057 - Dear God, Change My Husband
32:53

In this week's episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss the good intentions, but pitfalls of some wives' desire to change their husbands. 

Aug 14, 2015
Episode 056 - When Parenting: The Punishment Must Fit The Crime - Part 2
33:11

Emerson and Jonathan continue the discussion of discipline when parenting in part 2 of this series. In this episode, the unintentionally bad but morally reckless child and the intentionally bad and morally rebellious child are discussed. Through looking at intent and discussing never disciplining above or below the "crime," two difficult categories of discipline are examined.

Aug 07, 2015
Episode 055 - The Midlife Crisis of The Christian: Am I Really Happy With Who I Am as a Person?
45:14

At some level, most people, whether in their teens, twenties, fifties, etc. will experience a crisis, perceived or real. In this weeks podcast Emerson and Jonathan examine the popular phrase, midlife crisis, discussing at length this question: Am I really happy with who I am as a person?   Of note - this topic will be further developed through the blog and ebook format, answering these additional questions: Am I really happy with who my spouse is to me? (Given one is married); Am I really happy with who God is in my life? 

Jul 31, 2015
Episode 054 - Why Does My Wife Want To Be So Close To Me?
35:36

In this weeks episode Emerson and Jonathan examine the letter C, for Closeness, from the acronym C.O.U.P.L.E., which is how a husband can spell love to a wife (read more here). Through testimonies from wives, some commonly understood differences between most men and women, and biblical wisdom, Emerson unpacks this critical component for husbands to better relate to their wives.

Jul 24, 2015
Episode 053 - Why Do Some People Hang On To Bitterness?
44:34

Jonathan and Emerson look at the underlying reasons why people don't let go of bitterness. Join them this week as they discuss what it means to have a forgiving spirit even in the most difficult of circumstances.

Jul 17, 2015
Episode 052 - When Parenting: The Punishment Must Fit The Crime Part 1
32:58

When disciplining our kids, we can learn something from the court system. The punishment must fit the crime. In Part 1 of a two part series, Emerson and Jonathan look at how society handles punishment and how parents can use similar ideas in approaching and dealing with their children, not to punish or be punitive in parenting, but to correct in love.

Jul 10, 2015
Episode 051 - Why Do I Struggle to Forgive Myself?
37:58

In this week's episode the topic of forgiveness is discussed by Emerson and Jonathan. All of us do wrong. Who among us is perfect? When we fail God’s standard, some of us not only feel badly, we hate ourselves. Emerson asks listeners to struggle with the wonders of being forgiven instead of struggling to forgive oneself.

Jul 03, 2015
Episode 050 - What Does Winning The Lottery Have To Do With Marriage And Heaven? Part 2
36:22

In Part 2 of What Does Winning The Lottery Have To Do With Marriage And Heaven?, Emerson and Jonathan continue the discussion about rewarded and unrewarded believers. While difficult concepts are discussed, salient scriptures are examined that pertain to why we do what we do as Christians when it comes to marriage, parenting, and beyond.

Jun 26, 2015
Episode 049 - A Righteous Father Falls Seven Times, And Rises Again
42:17

In this Father's Day message, Emerson and Jonathan encourage fathers to focus on Proverbs 24:16 which says, "A righteous man falls seven times, and rises again." There is hope. Failings are not final. You can begin again.

Jun 19, 2015
Episode 048 - What Does Winning The Lottery Have To Do With Marriage And Heaven? Part 1
34:17

In this week's episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss specific Scriptures about heaven, future rewards, and why it is that what we do in this life matters more than we may realize. Whether in marriage, parenting, or relationships in general, this message is sure to enrich and empower as one understands that nothing is wasted when we do things unto Christ.

Jun 12, 2015
Episode 047 - My Love is Behind My Disrespect
31:34

This week Emerson and Jonathan discuss a recent inquiry that Emerson received from a wife saying, "My love is behind my disrespect." What she is essentially saying is, because the intent is good, the means are justified, especially since it seems to work with her husband. Emerson and Jonathan respond in this week’s episode.

Jun 05, 2015
Episode 046 - What Is The Issue With a Grumpy Husband?
35:29

Emerson and Jonathan begin a discussion about grumpiness and husbands. However, looking at the issue from both perspectives, Emerson challenges husbands and wives on an issue that is present in many homes. Renew your hope and be encouraged in that we do not need to stay where we are; we can make changes.  

May 29, 2015
Episode 045 - Who Makes the Final Decision When You Are Stalemated?
35:34

Have you ever had a difficult time making a decision with another person?  In this weeks episode Emerson and Jonathan discuss what to do when you and your spouse are in a stalemate, or gridlocked on an issue. Drawing up on the Bible as well as the business and sports world, you will be sure to find something useful in this episode about decision making inside of marriage. 

May 22, 2015
Episode 044 - My Situation Is Complex, Beyond Love & Respect!
30:03

 

Emerson is often told that the Love and Respect principles are too simple for a particularly complex situation, and so therefore they don't apply. In this week’s episode, he responds by discussing various difficult or complex situations and making the case that love and respect are like food and water to any given situation--they are necessary, but specific interventions, resources, etc. must be brought to the uniqueness of each situation. 

May 15, 2015
Episode 043 - Wounded Healer
35:29

In this week's episode, Emerson speaks at Liberty University with a message titled, "Wounded Healer."  He shares his personal story in order to help others understand how God can use past wounds to bring about healing.

May 07, 2015
Episode 042 - What Bible Verse Gives Hope to Millions? Jeremiah 29:11
34:34

Over the centuries, countless Christians have memorized, quoted and clung to Jeremiah 29:11. Emerson and Jonathan discuss how the promises of God always kick in at some level amidst our suffering. God may not stop the pain, but he does show up in it. One can experience God’s presence, power, peace and purpose independent of death, divorce or whatever one's circumstances may be.

Apr 30, 2015
Episode 041 - Three Ways To Murder Your Marriage - Part 2
35:26

In Part 2 of this 2-part series, Emerson and Jonathan continue their discussion about the motive, means, and opportunities people use to justify killing their marriage, while forgetting the ways by which to resurrect it. While acknowledging there are justified, biblical reasons for divorce, as well as terrible and difficult situations requiring local, direct, and wise counsel, Emerson and Jonathan take a look at what a couple can do to keep from murdering their marriage.

Apr 24, 2015
Episode 040 - Three Ways To Murder Your Marriage Part 1
36:06

In Part 1 of this 2-part podcast series, Emerson and Jonathan begin discussing why

some people leave their marriage. With motive, means and opportunity, there are many 

ways to sabotage a marriage and get it to end, but what are the biblical reasons for 

separation and divorce? Listen in to find out.

Apr 17, 2015
Episode 039 - Tuesday Night is Coming Part 2 - A Good Woman's View of Sex
31:49

 

As a sequel to a very popular podcast, “Tuesday Night Is Coming,” Emerson and Jonathan discuss a powerful and insightful email from a woman who details the way many wives feel about sex in relationship to their husband. Both husbands and wives will appreciate this episode. 

Apr 10, 2015
Episode 038 - Is Your Wife Really Finished With Your Marriage? Look Again!
38:14

In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan review and discuss a recent email exchange that Emerson had with a deployed soldier who believed his wife was going to divorce him. They explore what spouses can do in a relationship when very serious things are implied or stated. This episode will also help those who are trying to figure out what to say and do in response to relationships they know are not doing well. 

Apr 02, 2015
Episode 037 - Is There An Upside to Erupting in Anger?
37:47

How angry can we get and for what reasons? In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss the consequences of anger within relationships, both inside and outside of the home. Anger is a part of being human, but when used in eruptive ways, it can be very damaging. It can affect the inward, the outward, and the upward. Listen to learn what this means.

Mar 27, 2015
Episode 036 - Four Prayers That Will Impact Your Marriage
35:44

Can prayer impact your relationship?  Emerson and Jonathan look at four areas where an individual or couple can invite God in. The Presence, Peace, Power, and Purpose of God are examined through four specific prayers and corresponding Bible verses.

Mar 20, 2015
Episode 035 - Who Do You Feel Is Responsible For the Success of Your Marriage?
40:45

Emerson and Jonathan discuss responsibility inside of marriage, including the notion that some of us hold others responsible for our happiness and ultimately the success or failure of our marriage. 

Mar 13, 2015
Episode 034 - Male and Female Communication
34:00

Emerson and Jonathan respond to an inquiry and talk about why the key to a successful marriage is, in fact, not communication.

Mar 06, 2015
Episode 033 - Tuesday Night is Coming, So Who Decides About Sexual Intimacy?
33:30

“But if you should marry…such will have trouble in this life…” (1 Corinthians 7:28). Scripture teaches there will be trouble in marriage. Get ready for it! 

In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss preferences and needs around the issue of sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.

 

Feb 27, 2015
Episode 032 - The Impact of Seeking A Child’s Forgiveness
33:32

Following a blog post written by Sarah Eggerichs on the topic of parenting, Emerson and Jonathan discuss forgiveness in the context of the parental relationship and what impact it has on children. 

Feb 20, 2015
Episode 031 - Six “Thank You” Statements to Say to Your Spouse
29:11

In the book, Love & Respect, “love” is spelled to a wife with the acronym C.O.U.P.L.E. and “respect” to a husband with the acronym C.H.A.I.R.S. This week Emerson and Jonathan ask listeners to consider how they might express thankfulness to their spouse in one of these six areas, asking wives to thank their husband for at least one of the ways he shows love and asking husbands to thank their wife for at least one of the ways she shows respect.

Feb 13, 2015
Episode 030 - How Do You Seek to Empathically Understand Your Kids?
37:55

In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss ways of seeking to empathically understand your child without compromising your calling as a parent. They will take a glimpse at the parenting style of Mary and Joseph and share six principles of understanding as described in the book Love & Respect in the Family.

Feb 06, 2015
Episode 029 - What is the Difference Between Healthy Self-Love and Carnal Self-Love?
36:43

In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss the love of self from a societal and biblical perspective. There are unhealthy and healthy ways to experience self-love, and how we view God's love of us is immensely important. Finally, in marriage, our view of God's love and our love of self can positively and negatively impact the way we treat our spouse. 

Jan 30, 2015
L&RP Episode 028 - What is the #1 Paradox When Parenting God’s Way?
41:36

Parenting is for adults only because it's difficult. A sense of self-worth as a parent is often based on a child's performance or how they turn out, but this is not healthy. This week, Emerson and Jonathan discuss the #1 paradox in parenting and give hope to many parents.

Jan 23, 2015
Episode 027 - The Dynamic Woman
34:37

In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan read and discuss a series of recent emails from a wife who is a dynamic leader outside the home. She feels she and her husband may be mismatched and asks if, and how, they should remain together.

Jan 16, 2015
Episode 026 - A Husband Wakes Up Before It Is Too Late
43:09

Some individuals take years to wake up to the fact that their behavior needs to change. In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss one husband's decision to acknowledge many years of doing things incorrectly, the choice to be different and the patience required to win his spouse back.

Jan 09, 2015
Episode 025 - Why Does My Husband Hate Me-
39:42


This week Emerson and Jonathan discuss reasons a wife may believe her husband hates her.  From he truly hates her, to they’ve said it to each other without meaning it, to he doesn’t apologize to her, five reasons this may be going on are discussed.

Jan 02, 2015
Episode 024 - How To Learn Love and Respect: Illumination Beyond Marriage
37:12

“As I look back on my marriage to Jackie—56 years, 3 months and 13 days before she went home—I think not so much of light bulb moments, but more of dawning realizations (I seem to be a slow learner)." Emerson and Jonathan discuss a marriage and faith testimony from acclaimed Christian author, Fritz Ridenour, in this week’s episode.

 

**NOTE** We apologize for the audio quality of this episode due to technical difficulties.  


--Emerson and Jonathan

Dec 27, 2014
Episode 023 - Who Does He Think He Is?
29:28

Jesus makes an extraordinary statement in the gospel of John. He says in John 14:9, “He who has seen me has seen the father.” Emerson remembers reading that and thinking, “Who does He think He is? God?” Emerson and Jonathan discuss the implications of this statement for our lives this Christmas season.

Dec 19, 2014
Episode 022 - The Spiritual Leadership of a Husband
44:44

Today's godly woman yearns for her husband to be a spiritual leader. The number one complaint among godly wives IS NOT, "My husband isn't treating me equally."  The broader complaint is, "My husband isn't the spiritual leader." Emerson and Jonathan discuss the topic of men being spiritual leaders within the home in this week's episode.

Dec 12, 2014
Episode 021 - Why Does A Husband Misunderstand His Wife?
40:40

Saying husbands and wives can misunderstand each other at times is an understatement. In this episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss how husbands often misunderstand their wives. They’ll take a look at a powerful testimony from a husband who concluded after 17 years of marriage that his wife was NOT intentionally nagging and nitpicking, but was trying to connect. Their marriage changed when he realized this.  

Timestamps

01:51—Emerson recaps Episode 20.

06:11—Ask this question before you confront your spouse.

07:19—A common issue among husbands.

10:20—Same message, different filter. 

10:46—Letter from a listener: “I thought she was nagging and nitpicking.”

14:55—She was majoring on the minor things, or so he thought.

16:55—The mistakes we often make in conflict.

18:15—Always and never.

24:14—Male and female differences in the public arena.

25:47—“The winner didn’t feel affirmed and the loser did not feel heard.”

28:51—This is the Crazy Cycle.

31:32—A smart man needs to figure this out.

33:00—Uncapping the intimacy in your marriage.

34:15—Emerson appeals to a man’s sense of honor in this week’s Relationship Challenge.

Love & Respect Resources

Learn to understand your spouse better. Pick up a copy of Love & Respect in the online bookstore today.

Tell us your stories at podcast@loveandrespect.com.

Give the gift of Love and Respect this Christmas. More holiday sales are coming—stay tuned and get the latest on Facebook, Twitter, and in our newsletter.

Dec 05, 2014
Episode 020 - If a Husband Is Unrespectable Should a Wife Show Him Contempt and Disrespect?
40:58

Emerson recently received the following question: How do you respect a man who has a habit of lying and going against everything the Word says? Emerson and Jonathan discuss how this wife can respond, but also more generally how wives can respond to behavior that isn't respectable. 

Nov 28, 2014
Episode 019 - Why Do Good People Suffer?
45:33
Nov 21, 2014
Episode 018 - Oh The Joy, God Sees Your Every Sacrifice In Your Marriage!
37:09

Do you ever feel like what you are doing in your marriage isn't worth it? Through the story of the widow's mite, Emerson and Jonathan discuss why everything one does in their marriage matters, immensely so. Join them this week as they explain why nothing is wasted before God, even when it feels like nothing you are doing is effective.

Nov 14, 2014
Episode 017 - Why Should You Stop Talking To Your Husband?
42:39
Nov 07, 2014
Episode 016 - How To Respect Your Husband When You Don't
39:59
Oct 31, 2014
Episode 015 - Six Statements That Inflame a Wife When She’s Already Upset
40:14
Oct 24, 2014
Episode 014 - Three Steps to Forgiveness Part 2
34:04
Oct 17, 2014
Episode 013 Three Steps To Forgiveness Part 1
31:10
Oct 10, 2014
Episode 012 - Five Ways To Provoke Your Kids Without Really Trying
43:57
Oct 03, 2014
Episode 011 The Jesus Way Of Talking
45:49
Sep 26, 2014
Episode 010 Learning To Love Again
43:34
Sep 19, 2014
Episode 009 Your Questions and Comments On The Family Crazy Cycle
41:30
Sep 12, 2014
Episode 008 The Family Rewarded Cycle
42:14
Sep 05, 2014
Episode 007 - The Family Energizing Cycle
38:57
Aug 29, 2014
Episode 006 The Family Crazy Cycle
39:31
Aug 22, 2014
Episode 005 - A Review - The Three Cycles
41:02
Aug 18, 2014
Episode 004 - The Rewarded Cycle
37:06
Aug 07, 2014
Episode 003 - Energizing Cycle Part II
39:36
Jul 09, 2014
Episode 002 - The Energizing Cycle Part I
39:13
Jul 09, 2014
Episode 001 - The Crazy Cycle
29:49
Jul 09, 2014