Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People

By Earwolf & Chris Gethard

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Subscribers: 2621
Reviews: 18

 Jun 18, 2019

Bird G.
 Apr 24, 2019
I love this show!

 Apr 17, 2019
Consistently best podcast out there

 Apr 17, 2019

 Apr 16, 2019
One of the best podcasts out there.


1 phone call. 1 hour. No names. No holds barred. Thats the premise behind Beautiful Stories from Anonymous People, hosted by comedian Chris Gethard (the Chris Gethard Show, Broad City, This American Life, and one of Time Outs 10 best comedians of 2015). Every week, Chris opens the phone line to one anonymous caller, and he cant hang up first, no matter what. From shocking confessions and family secrets to philosophical discussions and shameless self-promotion, anything can and will happen! Theme song by Shellshag.

Episode Date
Introducing Real Good
Hello Beautiful/Anonymous fans! Enjoy this episode of a new show that focuses on systematic equality. This episode features an interview with the Director of the Black Mental Health Alliance
Apr 16, 2021
262. Moving To Another Country
A teacher talks to Geth about moving out of the country for a new position. She also shares what it was like getting married during lockdown and how spite can be motivating.
Apr 13, 2021
I'm A Surrogate: Part 2
A couple months after speaking with a surrogate, Geth follows up with her because she had some unfortunate news. They speak frankly about a difficult, taboo subject but express an enduring hopefulness for the future. Listen to part 1 here. 
Apr 09, 2021
261. I'm A Surrogate
A surrogate explains why having a baby for someone else is so meaningful to her. She and Geth also get into the difficulty of infertility.
Apr 06, 2021
260. Chinese American Adoptee
A Chinese American woman shares her thoughts on the uptick in violence against Asians in the U.S. She also talks with Geth about what it’s like having white, adoptive parents, and the layer of complexity it adds to the topic of race. Check out our show and many hilarious other pods featured on Stitchers first ever Comedy week! In app or at
Mar 30, 2021
Beautiful Shorties: One Year Later
A 19 year old looks back at her progress on the one year anniversary of her suicide attempt. She also talks with Geth about how her viral TikTok video led to successfully selling her art online. 
Mar 26, 2021
259. Analyze My Dreams
A woman who loves working at a psychiatric hospital shares her dream journal with Geth and he loosely analyzes them.
Mar 23, 2021
258. Let's Talk About Sex
A sex educator shares her research on sexless marriages and why scheduling sex is actually a good idea. She also tells Geth what got her love life going again after being married for 20 years.
Mar 16, 2021
Beautiful Shorties: 72 Year Old Life Review
From Woodstock to raising 3 kids as a single mom to switching careers, a retired woman in lockdown has got a lot of stories to tell and so much more life to live.
Mar 12, 2021
257. Hallucinating Gremlins
A former vet talks to Geth about channeling his experiences in the military into comedy. He also shares his thoughts on the rise of militias in the United States and why he hates knitting.
Mar 09, 2021
256. Choose Love Everyday
A young woman opens up to Geth about falling asleep while breastfeeding and losing her baby. She theorizes about how much her being black had to do with being charged with manslaughter after the tragic event.
Mar 02, 2021
Beautiful Shorties: Mental Health Researcher
A woman studying the effects of poverty on the mental health of low income mothers shares what she's learned. She also opens up to Geth about her struggles with depression and how Ketamine treatments changed her life.
Feb 26, 2021
255. Unhoused
A woman shares how she went from being unhoused to getting her own place. She also educates Geth on day to day life as an unhoused person and how it changed her political views.
Feb 23, 2021
254. Widower Remarried
A psychotherapist in Israel talks to Geth about losing his first wife and how it opened his heart for another love. He also discusses getting remarried, being an older parent, and using his life as a tool in therapy.
Feb 16, 2021
Beautiful Shorties: Trans Woman In The Bible Belt
A trans woman speaks with Geth about the secret joys of transitioning and what happened when she came out to her conservative, Southern Baptist family.
Feb 12, 2021
253. My Son Is Deaf
A mom opens up to Geth about her unique hearing condition and raising a deaf son. She also talks about his career as a professional gamer.
Feb 09, 2021
252. My Friend Took Their Own Life
A young woman opens up about her best friend's suicide and the emotional toll it's taken on her. If you're thinking about suicide, are worried about a loved one, or just need emotional support, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
Feb 02, 2021
Bonus: New Jersey Is The World
We're bringing you a special bonus release of Chris Gethard's new podcast series New Jersey Is The World! Geth's new project is an umbrella of podcasts exploring, celebrating, and laughing at the culture of America's most ridiculous state. He's gathered a bunch of Jersey guys who grew up together so they can combine forces in their quest to break down all things Jersey. And it also invites you, the public at large, to get involved.
Jan 28, 2021
251. I'm Narcoleptic And Collapsed During Sex
A woman describes what it's like being narcoleptic with cataplexy. She shares her wildest episodes, including when she's collapsed mid sex and mid laugh.
Jan 26, 2021
250. Gay 1st Generation Chinese American Best Friend
A wildlife biologist has a message for closeted first generation Chinese American boys. He and Geth also chat about the gay volleyball scene, why bats are cool (should Geth get a bat box?!) and nerd out about comic books.
Jan 19, 2021
Beautiful Shorties: OnlyFans, Good Sex, & Grilled Cheese
A recently unemployed woman talks to Geth about why she started an OnlyFans account and her complicated relationship with an older man.
Jan 15, 2021
249. I Was In A Harem
Sex, chores, and pranks. A young woman talks to Geth about her experience dating and living with one guy at the same time as several other women.
Jan 12, 2021
248. Dad Died By Euthanasia
A daughter explains why she supported her father's decision to die by legalized euthanasia. She also opens up to Geth about finding her birth parents and her final wishes for when her time comes.
Jan 05, 2021
247. Beautiful Resolutions for 2021
1 minute, no names, no holds barred. Geth takes 1 minute New Year's resolutions for 2021. Starting a garden, coming out to the family, making the perfect pancake, and many more.
Dec 29, 2020
246. Mrs. Claus Uncensored
A real-life bride of Santa tells Geth all the nitty gritty details, both naughty and nice.
Dec 22, 2020
245. Chicano and Trans
A trans teen explores their Mexican roots, sharing what they've learned about Mexican folk healing. They also discuss coming out as trans to their parents and the healing power of Coca Cola.
Dec 15, 2020
244. Another 39 Year Old Grandma
A recently retired real estate agent chats with Geth about what it's been like teaching her grandson at home and taking care of her dying mother. She also opens up about being a former drug addict and her views on reincarnation.
Dec 08, 2020
243. My Friend Murdered Someone
A woman learns from local news reports that her friend recently murdered someone. She discusses her relationship with him leading up to the murder.
Dec 01, 2020
242. A Pirate's Life
Ahoy, matey! Geth talks to (and sings sea shanties with) a real life present day pirate.
Nov 24, 2020
241. Everyone Is A Survivor (Tanya from Motor City Mayhem)
Geth chats one on one with Tanya from Motor City Mayhem (episode 187) about the aftermath of the home invasion that left his father dead and brother unable to speak. They discuss coping with ongoing grief, with some laughs along the way.
Nov 17, 2020
Beautiful Follow-Ups: Goosey Bumpies (#187 Motor City Mayhem)
Geth catches up with the Motor City Mayhem guys and sees if they've calmed down. He chats with them all together and then one on one to see how they're individually doing. The results are surprisingly heartwarming. Find more Beautiful Follow-Ups plus all of the Beautiful Anonymous archives, completely ad-free, only on Stitcher Premium.
Nov 13, 2020
240. My Husband Cheated With My Best Friend
Religious cults, vehicular manslaughter, and an extra marital affair. This caller has a lot to get off her chest. She also opens up to Geth about the fact that both she and the woman who had an affair with her husband are bisexual.
Nov 10, 2020
239. Groundhog Day
Distract yourself from election forecasting with the original forecasters. A caller introduces Geth to the world of Groundhog Day predictors including Clucksatony Hen and Buck Eyed Chuck.
Nov 03, 2020
238. Campaign Staffer
This congressional campaign staffer is passionate about Democratic politics and trying to help elect Joe Biden. He talks with Geth about punks running for office and explains why every politician should take an improv class.
Oct 27, 2020
237. Get Out (Of The Closet)
A caller opens up to Chris about the struggle to get his black, religious family to accept his same sex, interracial relationship. He also discusses the similarities between ‘Get Out’ and his relationship with his partner’s family.
Oct 20, 2020
236. Ending A Parade of Tragedies
A parade of tragedies, including being sued by her drug addicted mom, defined this caller's early life. After ending codependencies and working to remove herself from chaos, good things started happening to this pregnant mother of twins.
Oct 13, 2020
235. 315 Days Without Opiates
An opioid addict in recovery says the drug turned him into the greatest liar in the world. He talks about staying sober, and he and Geth joke about how Gollum from Lord Of The Rings is a metaphor for addiction.
Oct 06, 2020
234. Fell In Love With A Hobo
A young woman visiting her ex in Berlin opens up to Geth about her relationship with a train hopping hobo. She also reveals how a customer service job led to a surprising diagnosis.
Sep 29, 2020
233. The Orgy Dome
A Burning Man aficionado has a bone to pick with Geth about comments he made regarding the annual event. They get into what goes on at Burning Man and yes, "The Orgy Dome" is exactly what it sounds like.
Sep 22, 2020
232. My Parents Were Psychics
A spanko & emotional nudist tells Geth about being exorcised by her psychic parents and fleeing a commune after one of the members tried to murder her mother.
Sep 15, 2020
231. My Dead Ex Is My Sperm Donor
This caller and her girlfriend are trying to have a baby via IVF in a very unusual way. She tells Geth about the many outcomes that the process could bring, including a scenario where both she and her girlfriend get pregnant.
Sep 08, 2020
230. Syrian Refugee
Her childhood was lost to the brutal civil war in her home country. Now, recently graduated from high school, she tells Geth about fleeing to the United States and the many challenges she's overcome.
Sep 01, 2020
229. A Special Ed Teacher with Autism
A teacher opens up to Chris about how working with autistic children made her seek out her own diagnosis. She also dispels myths about the autism spectrum. 
Aug 25, 2020
228. Rescue Mission To America
An Australian woman tells the story of rescuing her daughter from an abusive relationship in the U.S., the resulting legal fight, and ultimately needing to join witness protection.
Aug 18, 2020
227. Caught My Husband With A Sex Worker
A divorcée shares details from the ledger of the 35 men she's dated since her marriage ended and some of them are wild. From hitting on someone else during a date to commitment issues, welcome to the "The Gong Show" dating game.
Aug 11, 2020
226. Math Guy vs. Geth
A doctor of mathematics has a bone to pick with Chris about his dislike of the subject. They get into what schools could be doing differently to teach math and the surprising connections between their chosen fields.
Aug 04, 2020
225. Protesting Magician In Portland
A magician explains why she doesn’t like other magicians and describes what it’s been like attending protests in Portland. She and Chris also unpack her first crush as a kid: Encyclopedia Brown.
Jul 28, 2020
224. A Posh Perspective
A young British woman opens up her experiences with racism in England and provides her perspective on the legacy of colonialism.  Also: saving Prince William's life, squirrel fights & the time her mom attacked her girlfriend with ice cream.
Jul 21, 2020
223. Asexual Ex-Conservative Lunchlady
A lunchlady and former conservative tells Geth about how having a miscarriage changed her political views and led to a deeper understanding of her sexuality. Also, is Friday still pizza day??
Jul 14, 2020
Introducing California Love
Hello Beautiful/Anonymous fans! Enjoy this episode of a new show from LAist studios, California Love. The show seeks to understand what it means to belong and not belong to the places we are from.
Jul 09, 2020
222. Stalked By My Ex
A former engineer opens up to Geth about being stalked by her ex-boyfriend and why she decided to become a teacher. She reveals the difficulties of navigating the legal system as a black woman and the struggle to get her ex rehabilitated.
Jul 07, 2020
221. Mexican American Iowan
A recent high school graduate grapples with her dream of becoming a journalist and taking care of her brothers. She and Geth also discuss growing up in Iowa and her experience being sued for calling out a white woman’s racism.
Jun 30, 2020
220. A Bar Star Comes Out, Again
Gay conversion therapy, a failed marriage and finally coming out. A caller tells Geth about his religious upbringing and finding happiness later in life.
Jun 23, 2020
219. Romantic Wrestler
An indie pro wrestler tells Geth about going through a break up during the COVID crisis, proving that guys in the ring need love too.
Jun 16, 2020
218. A Black Woman in America
A caller navigates life as a black woman in America during a historic week of BLM protests. She and Geth also talk about microaggressions, the problem with "all lives matter," and her mother’s death.
Jun 09, 2020
217. Touching Strangers Faces
Going back to work amidst the pandemic is stressful for this cat-owning cosmetologist. She tells Geth her strategies to manage anxiety and gives him some advice involving a hair piece.
May 26, 2020
216. Quitting Weed
An all-day-everyday weed smoker considers quitting due to health issues (involving *enormous burps*). She tells Geth what it’s been like starting a new relationship during quarantine.
May 19, 2020
215. Native Alaskan in Anchorage
A Native Alaskan talks about life after thyroid cancer and fills Geth in on the music scene in Alaska. You'll never guess what happened when Pitbull performed in Kodiak!
May 12, 2020
214. Quarantine Breakup
A trans man talks about what it's like living with his gf post breakup and still sleeping in the same bed. He and Geth discuss masculinity.
May 05, 2020
213. Parkour Yoda
Physically conquering mental limitations is the ethos of Parkour according to this young psychology student. What really *is* parkour? Don't trust the click baity facebook posts, trust this guy. He tells Geth how jumping on random stuff helps him clear his mind.
Apr 28, 2020
212. EMT In The Epicenter
The emergency calls are at an all time high but she says "the darkness makes the light seem brighter". Geth helps lighten the mood by talking about the haunted spots in her Long Island hometown and they bond over their shared psych med prescriptions.
Apr 21, 2020
211. My Partner is a Medical Mystery
A young woman describes working as a nanny during quarantine with a toddler while having a sick partner in need of a transplant. She also opens up about almost being kidnapped and what she's looking forward to once lockdown is over. 
Apr 14, 2020
Don't Say The C Word
Geth did something a little different. 75 phones calls, 2.5 hours. No names. No mention of Coronavirus. Chris talks to new dads, a lady with a fish named Slim Shady, someone with extensive knowledge of Harry Truman, a woman with an affinity for abandoned shopping carts, and many more.
Apr 10, 2020
210. How To Date A Sketch Comedian
Stuck at home under lockdown with her parents, an art student calls in and talks to Gethard about how coronavirus has affected their lives so far. Geth gives advice on dating a sketch comedian and she opens up about her experience dating a former child actor.
Apr 07, 2020
209. Union Worker vs. Robot Dog Uprising
Fired from his union position, this guy turned to gig economy jobs in the midst of coronavirus. Things are serious right now, but Geth still gets a chance to find out if he ever steals a jalapeno popper and they muse about a future filled with robot dogs
Mar 31, 2020
208. London Is Savage (in Quarantine)
An Englishwoman is passing the time while self-isolating with a dry cough. She and Chris discuss Coronavirus in England and what it's like growing up with a bipolar mom. She also reveals her surprising connection to The Great British Bake Off.
Mar 24, 2020
207. Love In The Time Of Coronavirus
An American living in China describes what it was like living with his other half's entire family for 3 weeks during the Coronavirus. He also shares the surprisingly romantic story of meeting his wife.
Mar 17, 2020
206. My Girlfriend Cheated, I Got A Dog
An extremely optimistic guy calls in to talk about how he got over his cheating ex by getting a dog, living in a tiny house, hopping freight trains and more. Plus, Chris shares what he’s learned on the cusp of turning forty.
Mar 10, 2020
205. I'm The Best Lyft Driver
A former teen mom found happiness after a car wreck by becoming a Lyft driver. She also reveals a surprising connection to Chris.
Mar 03, 2020
204. Hit By A Truck
Getting hit by a semi truck at work was only the beginning of this guy’s problems. With his future in doubt, he decided to buy his very own 10 acres.
Feb 25, 2020
203. Phone Call Hole In One
Does having an identical twin make you more competitive? This young, female athlete tells Geth about focusing her competitive twin energy into golf, while opening up about dealing with anxiety, politics, her sexuality, and twin "switcharoo" high jinks.
Feb 18, 2020
202. An Octopus Living in Baltimore
A Baltimorean waxes nostalgic about his hometown and talks about his near fatal encounter with a freight elevator. Things take an interesting turn when the conversation turns to toxic masculinity.
Feb 11, 2020
201. Dry Eyes But 2020 Vision
A Gen Z-er (or zoomer!) unpacks the complexities of being mixed race, her mom's secret pill business, why bird spit is a delicacy, and what it's like growing up in the age of climate change.   This episode is brought to you by Truly Grass Fed (, Talkspace ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Joybird (www.joybirdcom/beautiful25).
Feb 04, 2020
200.5 Bonus: Two Hundred Things I've Learned From Beautiful/Anonymous
In celebration of the 200th episode, Chris shares 200 lessons he’s learned from Beautiful/Anonymous, ranging from heartbreaking to hilarious.
Jan 31, 2020
200. Citizen Of The World
A guy from the Deep South tells Chris some wild travel stories, and about the time he got hit by a car inside of a Waffle House.     This episode is brought to you by Teladoc ( and Ritual (
Jan 28, 2020
199. Bigot Chicken
In the drive thru line to get some fast food chicken, this caller tells Geth about dealing with the aftermath of her husband’s psychotic break. This episode is brought to you by Teladoc (
Jan 21, 2020
198. Punky Brewster Saves The World
A caller in London talks to Geth about British & European politics, noting that there might be a problem with political parties founded by comedians.   This episode is brought to you by You’re Not Listening, Brooklinen (, Bombas (, and Teladoc (
Jan 14, 2020
197. Kinda Famous Secret Half Brother
This caller found out later in life that her dad isn’t her biological father. The story involves Gethard in a way you would never expect. This episode is brought to you by You’re Not Listening, Talkspace ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Ritual (
Jan 07, 2020
196. Beautiful Resolutions for 2020
Listeners (including a surprising number of aspiring novelists) called in for a series of brief one minute calls to tell Geth their goals, hopes and plans for 2020.   This episode is brought to you by Joybird.
Dec 31, 2019
195. Dredging It Up Again
Years ago, this caller dropped their phone while on the line with Chris and the call was lost forever. They finally re-connect and discuss passing for cis, family, masculinity and the musical Hamilton.   This episode is brought to you by Aura Frames (
Dec 24, 2019
194. You Can Go Back To Your Seat Now, Thanks
“It takes a toll on you quickly.” On her 22nd birthday, a former model who became a flight attendant talks to Gethard about her old career (scouted at a Jonas Brothers concert) and her new career (don’t go barefoot into the airplane bathroom). This episode is brought to you by Morgan & Morgan (, Aura Frames (, Joybird (, and Native deodorant ( code: BEAUTIFUL).
Dec 17, 2019
193. Philosopher Chef
Cocaine in kitchens, the widespread impact of a South Park episode on Yelp and review culture. A chef brings Geth behind the scenes of restaurant kitchens and then gets deep and reflective.   This episode is brought to you by Bayer, Brooklinen ( code: STORIES), Morgan & Morgan (, and Bombas (
Dec 10, 2019
192. I Did Poopy & I Know Calculus
What’s it like to be a public school teacher today? Gethard finds out from a fellow New Jerseyite.   This episode is brought to you by Talkspace ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Natural Disasters (, and Third Love (
Dec 03, 2019
191. Foster To Adopt
A parent talks about her family’s journey with foster care, adoption & a really long walk in Spain.   This episode is brought to you by Aura Frames (, Native Deodorant ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Morgan & Morgan (
Nov 26, 2019
190. Chill (with Justifiable Rage)
In her work as a community organizer, this caller loves listening to other people’s stories and asking tough questions. She tells her story and it includes a lot of struggles particularly with her father and his alcoholism including things like a warrant for murder and being surveilled by the State Police.     This episode is brought to you by Morgan & Morgan (, Teladoc (, Joybird (, and Aura Frames (
Nov 19, 2019
189. Polyamorous Group Real Estate
A caller is trying to get a mortgage to buy a duplex with a big group of polyamorous friends and family in Southern Maine.   This episode is brought to you by Teladoc (, ZipRecruiter (, Bombas (
Nov 12, 2019
188. Aspiring Pro Wrestler
Geth loves pro wrestling. This caller does too, and so much that he’s trying to make it in that world.   This episode is brought to you by Brooklinen ( code: STORIES), Third Love (, and Talkspace ( code: BEAUTIFUL)
Nov 05, 2019
187. Motor City Mayhem (Murdered Dads)
Strip clubs, pickles and dad’s getting murdered, that’s what these bros bond over. In one of the most chaotic episodes ever, two callers are on the phone thousands of miles away while their buddy joins Gethard on stage at Ant Hall in Detroit!     This episode is brought to you by Bayer, Candid Co ( code: STORIES), and Joybird ( code: BEAUTIFUL25).
Oct 29, 2019
186. Ayahuasca
A committed follower of Santo Daime, a Brazilian religion and spiritual tradition, tells Gethard about her many (many, many, many) experiences with Ayahuasca.   This episode is brought to you by Morgan & Morgan (, Teladoc (, ZipRecruiter (, and Living with Yourself on Netflix.
Oct 22, 2019
185. I Love You, Dad
On the first anniversary of her dad passing away, this week’s caller spoke to Gethard about how cool her dad was and how her family grieved the loss. Meanwhile, she provides an explainer on British culture and accents that leads to Geth’s laughable take at cockney. This episode is brought to you by Bombas (, Teladoc (, and Bayer. 
Oct 15, 2019
184. Traffic
Working at a residential program to help girls who have been trafficked or are at high risk, a caller tells Geth about how her job is the best thing that’s ever happened to her. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Third Love (, and ZipRecruiter (
Oct 08, 2019
183. Bad Luck Johnny
This guy has had some really bad luck lately but he’s handling it as best as he can. Plus: epic dad stories involving: the mafia, drug busts & kidnappings. This episode is brought to you by Magoosh ( code: BEAUTIFUL) and Brooklinen ( code: STORIES).
Oct 01, 2019
182. The Raccoon Roommate
An illegal (rescued) pet raccoon who eats cap’n crunch out of a shoe, Al-Anon, society, sex, working through trauma.  This episode is brought to you by Joybird ( code: BEAUTIFUL25), Candid Co ( code: STORIES), and Magoosh ( code: BEAUTIFUL).
Sep 24, 2019
181. Piles of Walking Goop
This young Scottish caller has a checklist of things to discuss, including the question: Are Scottish people comfortable with depressing comedy because it rains a lot or are they just born a bit sad? This episode is brought to you by Magoosh ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Bombas (, Brooklinen ( code: STORIES), and ZipRecruiter (
Sep 17, 2019
180. Jammers vs. Blockers
Things just kinda suck at this point in life, but this caller found sanctuary in roller derby. This episode is brought to you by Fruit of the Loom ( code: STORIES), Magoosh ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Circle Home Plus ( code: beautiful), and White Castle (
Sep 10, 2019
179. The Size of a Cantaloupe
This caller gives listeners a PSA: go to the doctor! She's managed to maintain an inspiringly positive disposition even after what she thought was just bloating turned out to be something much more serious. This episode is brought to you by Magoosh ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Fruit of the Loom ( code: STORIES), White Castle, Third Love (, and Talkspace ( code: BEAUTIFUL).
Sep 03, 2019
178. Partner In Prison
Some addictions don’t get discussed that often. A caller talks about sex and love addicts anonymous and discusses the need to save oneself before trying to save the world. This episode is brought to you by Magoosh ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet Podcast, White Castle (, and Joybird ( code: BEAUTIFUL25).
Aug 27, 2019
177. A True (Modern) Love Story
Celebrating her first birthday with friends, family & her girlfriend after 3 years in a mental health treatment center, a caller talks to Geth about falling in love inside the facility.  This episode is brought to you by Untitled Dad Project Podcast, ZipRecruiter (, Magoosh ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and White Castle (
Aug 20, 2019
176. The Choctaw & Irish Connection
Having lived all over the world, a member of the Choctaw Tribe talks to Geth about finding a sense of belonging when visiting home from abroad. This episode is brought to you by Magoosh ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Circle ( code: beautiful), and Bombas (
Aug 13, 2019
175. Fighting Through Life
Finding empowerment over past trauma through martial arts. This caller is a true badass. This episode is brought to you by Life is Good Ping Podcast, Third Love (, ZipRecruiter (, and Magoosh ( code: BEAUTIFUL).
Aug 06, 2019
174. The Squirrel and the Giraffe
Hearing other people talk about themselves makes this caller uncomfortable. "It makes me cringe," he says, "being on the show is a terrible idea." Will this be Chris' second-ever hang up, or will the caller stay on the line to reveal what about human interaction freaks him out. This episode is brought to you by Magoosh ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Casper Mattresses ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Circle ( code: beautiful).
Jul 30, 2019
173. I Found Closure
A caller opens up about a stigmatized condition and tells Geth about finding closure to a chapter of her life after hearing an old friend on Beautiful Anonymous. This episode is brought to you by Milkwaukee Tourism (, Joybird ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Hamama ( code: STORIES), and Brooklinen ( code: STORIES).
Jul 23, 2019
172. Babysitting (Drunk People)
A bartender tells wild stories (murder!), how to get free stuff (drinks and rides home). Also, the found family & new home she’s established with the regulars. Plus, Caleb Gethard makes his podcast debut. This episode is brought to you by Sword of Trust (, Talkspace ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Hamama ( code: STORIES), and Bombas (
Jul 16, 2019
171. I’ve Never Told Anyone
A college student home for the summer, sitting on a living room floor with dog on lap, talks to Geth about an eating disorder that started in high school. This episode is brought to you by Life is Good Ping Podcast, ZipRecruiter (, Third Love (, and ( code: BEAUTIFUL).
Jul 09, 2019
170. No Guide Book to Grief
Planning a posh goth Halloween wedding, taking care of a 3 legged cat and processing grief after the death of a family member who had been hiding big secrets, this British caller prompts Geth to try bring the words crikey & blimey across the pond.
Jul 02, 2019
169. The Raccoon Incident
An online slang dictionary editor and vicious rabid animal attack survivor who had too much cold brew and ritalin talks to Geth about dealing with ferocious and heinous things.  This episode is brought to you by Honey (
Jun 25, 2019
168. Clinical Psychologist
A psychologist talks about the emotional toll of tough conversations, selflessness vs. selfishness & Geth asks: have you ever had to step out mid session because you had to pee or poo?  This episode is brought to you by Milwaukee Tourism (, Life is Good Ping Podcast, Honey (, and Joybird (
Jun 18, 2019
167. Go With The Flow
Geth gets a peek into the chaotic life of a stay at home dad with 3 kids, a 4th on the way, and a daughter in the hospital. This episode is brought to you by The Life is Good Ping Podcast, Mack Weldon ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Third Love (
Jun 11, 2019
166. The Ultimate Bad Roommate Story
Recently declared PTSD free, a caller is interrupted by a cute little mouse while telling Geth about being emotionally and psychologically manipulated by someone very close to her. This episode is brought to you by Family Ghosts Podcast, Bombas (, and ( code: BEAUTIFUL).
Jun 04, 2019
165. Life Is Weird
A caller tells Geth what it’s like to be a young, single, punk rock mom. This episode is brought to you by Airbnb Experiences (, The Skimm (, and ZipRecruiter (
May 28, 2019
164. The Cuckoo’s Nest
Suffering from a physical injury from working too much & too hard, this week’s caller takes a break from building sets to get Geth excited about theme restaurants (Mars 2112, Jekyll & Hyde...Medieval Times!). This episode is brought to you by Oh My Gut (, The Skimm (, Aura Frames ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Joybird (
May 21, 2019
163. More Alike Than Different
You don’t want to mess with a punk rock mom! Geth talks to a proud mother about how lucky she is to have a very unique daughter. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Aura Frames ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Third Love (, The Skimm (, and Stop Doing That Shit.
May 14, 2019
The Adventures of Glandon Oakfoot
You don’t really know someone’s complex, warped brain until they’ve been your Dungeon Master. For this bonus episode, a caller with lots of D.M. experience guides Glandon Oakfoot, Jomar Salveston and Tyrone The Terrible on a vital quest.
May 10, 2019
162. A Hero's Journey
A screaming cat with a rubber band around it’s head, Dungeons & Dragons, and an emergency suicide intervention road trip. This caller hasn’t slept in days because she recently leapt in her car to go help someone she’d never even met in person. This episode is brought to you by The Skimm (, ProFlowers ( code: STORIES), and Oh My Gut (
May 07, 2019
161. Sky Full of Ghosts
A past caller who’s made strides in living with grief, learning to tell her story and finding a path of acceptance catches up with Gethard in studio (no phones!). They ask: Are we living in a simulation? What’s dark matter? What type of scientist parties the hardest? This episode is brought to yo by ProFlowers ( code: STORIES), Casper Mattresses (, ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and ZipRecruiter (
Apr 30, 2019
160. Kaleidoscope of Danger
Calling from a country described as filled with cognitive dissonance and very passionate people, this caller provides Geth a powerful portrait of her country, talking about LGBTQ rights & the most dangerous karaoke song ever. Plus, a very important request for whenever you talk to someone at a call center.  This episode is brought to you by Vrbo, Aura Frames ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Third Love (
Apr 23, 2019
159. Called Once, Listened Never
A guy who has never even listened to this podcast talks to Gethard about a bunch of stuff for an hour. This episode is brought to you by Vrbo, Joybird (, Aura Frames, Talkspace ( code: BEAUTIFUL).
Apr 16, 2019
158. Broke In The USA
Living in New Jersey and hating it, the gig economy and trying to get by being broke in the USA are on this caller’s mind.  This episode is brought to you by Vrbo and Bombas.
Apr 09, 2019
157. Porn, Drugs, Murder & Learning To Love
Kidnapping, murder, sex, cocaine, ketamine and porn. This caller’s family is at the center of a true crime story. She tells Geth about how she’s suffered on her journey to learn how to be loving. This episode is brought to you by Vrbo app and Madison Reed ( code: PEOPLE).
Apr 02, 2019
Episode 1: Harry’s Aussie Best Friend
New host Harry Nelson takes his first of many successful calls. He gets a caller from Australia on the line and talks about America, but also the writing process, the history of First Nations’ people, and why he’s already a better host than Chris Gethard ever was.
Apr 01, 2019
156. Hold My Caipirinha
Gethard heard he has a cult following in Brazil, so this week the line was open to Brazilian numbers only. Immigration issues, education and social work are on the caller’s mind. She also opens up about sexual assault and abuse. This episode is brought to yo by Mack Weldon ( code: BEAUTIFUL), ZipRecruiter (, ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Drop (
Mar 26, 2019
155. Jetmouth
While smoking a bowl in his garage, a stay at home dad talks to Gethard about parenting. They share stories about protective dad instincts and recognizing mistakes. This episode is brought to you by Neou Fitness ( code: STORIES), Third Love (, Talkspace ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Joybird (
Mar 19, 2019
154. My Dad Owns A Strip Club
A few years ago, this caller took a job working at her dad’s strip club. There were duffel bags full of cash and other shady stuff. She thought showing tolerance for her father’s demons might help him understand her own, but things didn’t turn out as expected. This episode is brought to you by Drop (
Mar 12, 2019
153. Car Crash
Years later, this caller still hears the sounds of the tragic car accident he survived. He tells Geth how he won’t let the trauma of the crash revive the anxiety he overcame in his younger days. They also talk about an internet dating experience that turned into something like a Black Mirror episode. This episode is brought to you by OkCupid, eero ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Dexter Guff is Smarter Than You podcast.
Mar 05, 2019
152. Love At First [blank]
A blind caller tells Geth his touching internet-era love story & explains why he considers himself a visual learner. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter (, Talkspace ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Dexter Guff is Smarter Than You podcast.
Feb 26, 2019
151. The King of Silver Linings
A stress-free 34 year old who loves what he does for a living has to decide what to eat for lunch. This episode is brought to you by ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Joybird (, and Third Love (
Feb 19, 2019
150. Meta Millennial
A social media manager slash graphic designer pitches her podcast & gives Gethard instagram advice. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon, Calm (, OkCupid, and Terrible, Thanks for Asking podcast.
Feb 12, 2019
149. RINO
Raised by liberals, after becoming a mom as a teenager, this caller’s politics shifted. Some would now call her a “Republican in name only” or a “compromising conservative,” but she disagrees. Her compelling life story is a jumping off point to search for a little common ground with Geth. This episode is brought to you by OKCupid and ZipRecruiter (
Feb 05, 2019
148. In Loving Arms
This episode includes: a double-headed red dildo, binders full of sperm, epilepsy, addiction & rehab. But most importantly, it’s about an inspiring mom who’s been through a whole heck of a lot to support and protect her family. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace ( and eero ( code: BEAUTIFUL).
Jan 29, 2019
147. Crying Into My Boba
Too many edibles. A missing sister. Paranoia. Depersonalization & derealization. This week’s caller had a tough 2018, but with therapy and treatment, she’s conquering one thing at a time.  This episode is brought to you by Joybird (, Third Love (, and Calm (
Jan 22, 2019
146. American Ex-Pat & Berlin Go-Between
A caller in Berlin connects Geth with someone in Finland who happens to be from Oklahoma. Should Geth move to Finland? An American ex-pat helps Geth decide. This episode is brought to you by Brooklinen ( code: STORIES), Simple Contacts (, and ( code: BEAUTIFUL).
Jan 15, 2019
145. My First Job Interview Ever
In 90 minutes, a graphic design student will have her first-ever job interview. Luckily, Gethard is on the phone to help her get calmed down and psyched up.
Jan 08, 2019
Beautiful Follow-Ups: Love Goes On (#69 - Love Is Everywhere)
In June 2017, a mother of 5 spent an hour talking to Chris while in a waiting room, about to hear life or death test results from her daughter’s oncologist. A year later, she tells Chris that all her daughter wants is for her and her family to keep living life, to know it’s okay to be happy and to fight to keep her message, Love Is Everywhere, alive. Find more Beautiful Follow-Ups plus all of the Beautiful Anonymous archives, completely ad-free, only on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Premium, go to and use promo code 'STORIES'.
Jan 03, 2019
144.5 Bonus: Beautiful Resolutions for 2019
It’s time for the annual Beautiful Anonymous New Year’s resolutions episode. Listeners (and a couple special guests) called in for a series of brief one minute calls to tell Geth their goals, hopes and plans for 2019. 
Jan 01, 2019
144. Queer Feminist Pagan Yuletide
Coming out of the closet to her family was this caller’s New Year’s resolution for 2018. As the year comes to close, she tells Geth whether she achieved the goal. One thing she definitely accomplished: getting her Trump-supporting neighbor to help her hang a pride flag.  This episode is brought to you by Palm (, Sun Basket (, and Calm (
Dec 25, 2018
143. 28-Year-Old College Student
A real-life Frank The Tank living with hard-partying 18-21 year old college kids is studying geosciences with the goal of one day improving global water supplies. He’s struggled with some mental health issues, which has helped him provide guidance to his younger peers but he’s also learned a lot from them. The phone signal is a little crunchy at times but the phone itself has an origin story that makes it all worth it. This episode is brought to you by Welcome to Marwen, Palm (, Third Love (, Stitch Fix (, Kopari’s Coconut Deodorant (
Dec 18, 2018
142. A Bridge Between Humans
Raised in Japan, this week’s guest moved to Canada because of the freedom and culture of openness. Hardly able to speak the language, she now works a job where she literally helps people speak for themselves in difficult situations. Gethard met up with her and recorded this just outside of an acoustically perfect concert hall in a noisy Toronto park. This episode is brought to you by Welcome to Marwen, Fruit of the Loom ( code: STORIES), Brooklinen ( code: BEAUTIFUL),, and Caffe Monster.
Dec 11, 2018
141. Gay Mormon
Imagine if your mom found out you were getting married because she saw your wedding on the TV news. He called in to point out an issue with episode 14 (that’s 127 episodes ago!) but also tells Geth about growing up Mormon and being a stepdad. This episode is brought to you by One Drop ( code: STORIES), Betterhelp (, Brooklinen ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Sun Basket (, Caffe Monster, and Poshmark. 
Dec 04, 2018
140. I Lost 150 Pounds
What is it like to transform from very large to marathon runner very quickly? A polite but engaged audience in Toronto helps Geth out with some questions, like how her experience feels in the context of the body positivity movement (and they tweet some insults aimed at Buffalo). Then the audience really gets excited when they discuss tandem nursing! This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp (, Fruit of the Loom ( code: STORIES), Brooklinen ( code: BEAUTIFUL), ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Third Love (
Nov 27, 2018
139. Basement Infidelity
A cheating husband, drugs, stalkers, liars and flipping houses. This week’s caller is at a critical juncture in her life and is a little unclear on where the truth lies. This episode is brought to you by This Is Love podcast, One Drop ( code: STORIES), Kopari (, Bombas ( code: STORIES), and Ulta Beauty (
Nov 20, 2018
138. House Burned Down
Her home is engulfed in flames. She brings the geckos, kittens & dogs to safety and checks on the donkeys, mules, chickens and horses to make sure they are safe as well. Three days later, lying under an electric blanket with her cat, this week’s caller tells Gethard and the live audience in Los Angeles how she can’t sit around and cry all day, so she laughs through it.  This episode is brought to you by ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Casper Mattresses ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Caffe Monster.
Nov 13, 2018
137. Color of Sunshine, Color of Moonlight
Days after the 2016 election, a mother of three was nervous about how the outcome of the election would impact her children and left an emotional voicemail for Beautiful Anonymous. Two years later, she talked to Geth about the challenges she and her kids face today and all the love and beauty that inspire them. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon ( code: BEAUTIFUL), One Drop ( code: STORIES), ZipRecruiter (, Kopari’s Coconut Deodorant (, and Caffe Monster.
Nov 06, 2018
136. Wilderness Rehabilitation
On an eight hour solo road trip, a wilderness therapy guide takes a break from dreaming of the woods and insects to chat with Gethard. He’s a wanderer, a man of nature and a modern day philosopher and Gethard gets him to unleash some wisdom gleaned from his experiences outdoors: “You squat over a hole in the ground and everything just slides out” This episode is brought to you by Brooklinen ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Third Love (, Stitch Fix (, and Ulta Beauty (
Oct 30, 2018
135. Vanity & Sanity
What is beauty? Maybe the answer is unknowable. For this week’s caller, searching for the answer to that question has been the source of a lot of emotions: anger, depression, anxiety, jealousy and sometimes happiness.  This episode is brought to you by Ulta Beauty (
Oct 23, 2018
134. Upward Slide of Happiness
Sitting on a bench in a quintessentially British location, near Queen Mary’s Rose Garden in London, a young Brit opens up with Gethard in a way he never would with anyone in his normal life. From his parents divorce while living on a rural Scottish goat farm to a recent web design related break-up drama, it’s a very authentic conversation that might make you want to go exchange secrets with a stranger in a park for an hour. This episode is brought to you by Stitch Fix (, Dream Corp LLC on Adult Swim, Bombas ( code: STORIES), Caffe Monster, and The Hilarious World of Depression podcast.
Oct 16, 2018
133. Nap Time
“Day care is wild though, let me tell ya!” It’s time to put down a bunch of one-year-olds for a nap and talk with Geth. Married young and facing a divorce in her 20s, this week's caller is ready to have some fun. Geth’s advice: She has plenty of time to make mistakes. This episode is brought to you by Hilarious World of Depression, ( code: BEAUTIFUL), ZipRecruiter (, and Third Love (
Oct 09, 2018
132. I Survived A Mass Shooting
A mass shooting survivor talks to Gethard about the love, positivity and beauty she has experienced in the year since the real-life nightmare she lived through in Las Vegas. This episode is brought to you by Merge Records ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Brooklinen ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Kopari (, and Caffe Monster.
Oct 01, 2018
131. What’s It Like To Be A Man Today?
A European nomad with 30% battery and a very full bladder is riding a ‘lift’ in the Parisian Metro as she chats with Geth (and a live audience in London). She’s curious: what’s it like to be a man in today’s changing society? This episode is brought to you by A Million Little Things on ABC, Calm (, Caffe Monster, and Bombas (
Sep 25, 2018
130. My Year of Sexploration
Last time this caller got through she talked about being a marching band teacher. She got through again. This time she gets very detailed about a year of pushing and exploring boundaries. This episode is brought to you by Sun Basket (, Amazon Prime Channels (, Third Love (, and Caffe Monster. 
Sep 18, 2018
129. Not Afraid of Life
A hard-working mom balancing multiple jobs and school has an inspiring approach to life. Geth tries to find out what it’s like when her Cuban side comes out: when she gets mad, she transforms, like The Incredible Hulk, and her soft spoken demeanor gives way to loud and boisterous anger. This episode is brought to you by Warby Parker (, Casper Mattresses (, and ZipRecruiter (
Sep 11, 2018
128. Nervous Interrupter (Let's All F***)
A merch guy tells Geth about sexual experimentation on the road and coming to terms with his desires. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Brooklinen ( code: BEAUTIFUL), ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Calm (
Sep 04, 2018
127. 40 Lbs of Cat
Is Facebook evil? Can the internet become a more humane and civil place? Beautiful Anonymous’s first official cat lady has a suggestion: A Sorry Sally Detector for internet communication. This week’s caller has the inside tech scoop-- she worked at Facebook during the 2016 election and is currently at Google. This episode is brought to you by Pact Apparel ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (, and Bombas (
Aug 28, 2018
126. A Saudi Student in Canada
A woman studying neurobiology in Toronto talks about her experience overcoming the cultural differences between Saudi Arabia, Canada & America. Get some veggie poutine, this call was recorded live at JFL Montreal. This episode is brought to you by Sun Basket (, The Hilarious World of Depression Podcast, Talkspace (, Pact Apparel ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Third Love (
Aug 21, 2018
125. Major Postal Bitch
Drugs, rampages, the postal system. This call has it all. Buckle up and enjoy. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (, Pact ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Bombas (, and Caffe Monster.
Aug 14, 2018
124. Goose, Not Maverick
Herding fighter pilots like cats, taking “go pills” to stay focused for long flights, imposter syndrome, “don’t ask, don’t tell.” These are just some of the unique things this active-duty service member has experienced while serving her country and she tells Geth all about them. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (, Brooklinen ( code: BEAUTIFUL), ZipRecruiter (, and Caffe Monster.
Aug 07, 2018
123. Hanukkah With Fidel
A Cuban refugee met up with Chris in a New York City park. The realities of Jewish life in Cuba, seeing snow for the first time, and falling in love are discussed as flying garbage and passing loud New Yorkers occasionally interrupt. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (, Halo Top (, ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Third Love (, and Casper Mattresses ( code: BEAUTIFUL).
Jul 31, 2018
122. Northern Ireland
Northern Ireland: come for the apple orchards and beautiful cathedrals, not the disaster tourism. Born to a Catholic mother and Protestant father, this week’s caller attended a segregated school where they had more bomb scare days than snow days. She and Geth play a game called “How long can a person from the island of Ireland tell a happy story before a sad detail comes up?” This episode is brought to you by Halo Top (, Care/Of ( code: STORIES), Madison Reed ( code: PEOPLE), and Talkspace (
Jul 24, 2018
121. Prison Bound
In a few days, this caller will turn herself over to federal authorities and begin a multi-year prison sentence. She tells Geth about how she ended up with a federal indictment, getting sober and all the fast food she’ll be eating before turning herself in. This episode is brought to you by Halo Top (, Talkspace (, and Madison Reed ( code: PEOPLE).
Jul 16, 2018
120. Out Of The Closet
A young man who has never told anyone about his sexuality finally does. He and Geth talk online relationships, coming out in conservative parts of the country, and being completely unimpressed by Mt. Rushmore. This episode is brought to you by Halo Top (, ZipRecruiter (, Brooklinen ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Talkspace (
Jul 10, 2018
119. 39-Year-Old Grandma
A young grandmother with a family tree that involves some unusually complicated math talks with Gethard about rolling with the punches and rising above the obstacles that life puts in her way.  This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Halo Top, and Talkspace (
Jul 02, 2018
118. I Cry On The Toilet
We live in a world that can be harsh, brutal and unfair. This week’s caller drives around and personally helps kids and parents in difficult situations. (Hint: The caller is not the one who cries on the toilet.) This episode is brought to you by Hearts Beat Loud film, ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (, and Casper Mattresses (
Jun 26, 2018
117. Smoking Weed in Christiania
Freetown Christiania is an area in Copenhagen where there are no laws and anarchy rules. This week’s caller is walking there to smoke weed with friends from all over Europe. She tells Gethard about life in Denmark in 2018 on the way. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (
Jun 19, 2018
116. She Killed My Father
Just ten years ago, transgender was a new word for many people, including this caller. When a close family member transitioned, it was a complex and emotional journey. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (
Jun 12, 2018
115. The Chillionaire
A goblin fiction ghost writer and artist at heart has an identity crisis after inheriting a million dollars from a distant uncle. This episode is brought to you by Always Forever Maybe, Brooklinen ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Great Women of Business (
Jun 05, 2018
114. Charity Laundry
Raised in a troubled home, with parents who lived a transient lifestyle and a father who eventually ended up in prison, this week’s caller was able to rise above his circumstances and now works to give back to the community. Also, a casual debate ensues over the best NBA player of all time (Jordan vs. LeBron). This episode is brought to you by Thomas’ English Muffins and Magoosh.
May 29, 2018
113. Irish Wake
This week’s caller tells Chris about the very close relationship she had with her recently passed grandmother. Gethard cheers her up with funny stories and by doing his best Freddie Mercury impression. This episode is brought to you by Magoosh ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Thomas’ English Muffins, ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and ZipRecruiter (
May 22, 2018
112. Quiet Rage
How do you become successful in comedy? How do you know when you’ve made it? In a return to form for Beautiful Anonymous, Gethard chats with an aspiring stand-up comedian about getting out of her own way and making art, even if that means embracing her creepy, pervy side. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon ( code: BEAUTIFUL) and Thomas’ English Muffins.
May 15, 2018
111. Death Row Lawyer
Growing up in Northern England, this week’s caller became unlikely pen pals with a death row inmate in the American South. That experience, along with an unusual proximity to murder that she describes as a “family quirk”, inspired her career path. This episode is brought to you by Brooklinen, Thomas’ English Muffins, and The Girl Who Smiled Beads.
May 08, 2018
110. Virtual Dominatrix
A political science student and self-described ‘Robin Hood of sugar babies’ talks with Geth about the significant emotional labor that goes into online sex work and the commensurate earnings. She also discusses her political aspirations, including her ideal running mate (hint: together they'll make money moves). This episode is brought to you by 9 Days and 9 Nights, Thomas’ English Muffins, ZipRecruiter, and The Girl Who Smiled Beads.
May 01, 2018
109. If They Say No, They Mean No
A young man describes three difficult experiences of being sexually assaulted and overcoming drug addiction. It's a raw, honest conversation that is occasionally interrupted by Snapchat notifications and a barking puppy. This episode is brought to you by Thomas’ English Muffins,, and The Girl Who Smiled Beads.
Apr 24, 2018
108. Road Dogs
Driving 10-12 hours a day buying and selling machinery can lead to challenges like finding a good gym and getting sufficient protein while avoiding fast food. Gethard has a fun chat with two dudes on a long road trip about making major life changes, maintaining positivity after losing loved ones, and creatine farts. This episode is brought to you by ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Thomas’ English Muffins, and Your Mechanic (
Apr 17, 2018
107. It’s Quiet Time
A mother of two talks about her youthful past as a wandering actor and the choices she made to change her life. Geth asks a question in this call that leads to the ultimate “Sorry Sally” moment: How much do Playboy models get paid? This episode is brought to you by Brooklinen ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Thomas’ English Muffins, and ZipRecruiter (
Apr 10, 2018
106. Tasmanian Sex Ed Circus Performer
An aerialist turned sex education teacher from Australia chats with Gethard about her life on the road, falling in love and the challenge of explaining consent to high school kids. This episode is brought to you by Thomas’ English Muffins.
Apr 03, 2018
105. Honne and Tatemae
Stuck between two cultures, a punk rocker calls in from the other side of the world to chat about finding his identity, navigating his country’s social norms and tells a story about how hard it was to finish a huge American burrito. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace ( and (
Mar 27, 2018
104. The Whirlpool Galaxy
Coping with tremendous grief from a recent tragedy, an astrophysics researcher talks to Geth about black holes, extraterrestrial life and the fate of humanity.  This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Your Mechanic (, ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Talkspace (
Mar 20, 2018
103. Brady Bunch Wedding / Ron Paul’s Baby Returns
A juicy family history, a fast approaching wedding and upcoming gallbladder surgery are on the caller’s mind this week and Gethard helps her work through it all. After the call, stay tuned for a 2-year anniversary check-in (and live audience sing-along!) with caller #1, Ron Paul’s Baby. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (, ZipRecruiter (, and Brooklinen ( code: BEAUTIFUL).
Mar 13, 2018
102. Dealer Turned Surgeon
How did this self-described East Coast dirtbag go from selling drugs out of his mom’s minivan to doing brain surgery? His answer: Donnie Darko. Gethard asks him some hard hitting questions like: What skills acquired in drug dealing are useful as a brain surgeon? Why did he go vegan? Can he control a monkey’s brain with a special USB stick? This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon ( code: STORIES), RXBAR ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (, and Care/Of ( code: STORIES).
Mar 06, 2018
101. English Idyll
Ever heard of "granary bread?" Yeah? Then you’re probably British, like this week’s caller. If not, then get out your malted barley and listen to Gethard celebrate cultural differences with a mother and social media expert from England’s rural south. Opening up about difficulties in her past, she says: “you know, it was 14 years ago, but it’s still one of those things, when I open my heart to a stranger on the phone, can still make me cry.” This episode is brought to you by Casper Mattresses ( and Talkspace (
Feb 27, 2018
100. One Hundred Anonymous
With a combined 200 years of life lived, a retired dentist and an amateur artist chat with Gethard about staying creative as you get older, living a fulfilling life, regrets and the fear of death. One key lesson: travel if you can, but skip The Mona Lisa, it’s just not that interesting. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (, Your Mechanic (, and Adam and Eve ( code: STORIES).
Feb 20, 2018
99. Sober Mathematician
Longtime listeners know: math is Chris Gethard's nemesis. A real-life mathematician calls in and gives Gethard the most thrilling math quiz ever on a podcast. (We feel safe making that claim.) He also talks about his struggle with substances in college and getting sober. Geth also tells a never-before-heard story about an unusual religious ceremony in the rainforest, which involves hallucinogens and terrible diarrhea. This episode is brought to you by ( code: STORIES), Talkspace (, ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Brooklinen ( code: BEAUTIFUL).
Feb 13, 2018
98. Chemo Chameleon
Headed to her first chemotherapy treatment after a recent cancer diagnosis, this young woman is naturally a little stressed and nervous. However, spirits are soon lifted in a call that includes stories of haunted apartments, puns and a doctor’s note to party. This episode is brought to you by Merge Records ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (, Adam and Eve ( code: STORIES), and RXBAR ( code: STORIES).
Feb 06, 2018
97. In The Candy Aisle
A man narrates his stroll though a Wal-Mart. As he peruses the aisles, from guns to kitchen appliances, the discussion ranges from philosophical to farcical. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace ( and Zola (
Jan 30, 2018
96. Boy Crazy
She does improv, lives in New Jersey and considers herself a "niche person." Needless to say, this week’s caller bonds pretty easily with Gethard. She explains what it’s like to be on summer break from college and a little boy crazy.   This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter (, Talkspace (, and ( code: BEAUTIFUL).
Jan 23, 2018
95. Monogamous Animals
"If anybody has seen hell, it would be me.” What starts as an immigrant success story ends up weaving through prostitution, revenge, tragedy, sexuality, morality and religion. Note that this episode contains difficult topics including sexual violence. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (, Brooklinen ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and HBO’s Crashing.
Jan 16, 2018
94. The Puppet Master
An art school grad talks about his success working in an emerging technological art form. Then, out of nowhere, something happens in this call that changes everything about Gethard’s world. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (, Audible (, and HBO’s Crashing.
Jan 09, 2018
Bonus: Beautiful Resolutions
Beautiful Anonymous fans called in for a series of brief one minute calls to tell Chris their goals, hopes and plans for 2018. 
Jan 02, 2018
93. Successful Stalker
Can stalking your crush lead to a successful long-term relationship? A young woman tells Gethard about her years-long pursuit. This episode is brought to you by Magoosh ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Casper Mattresses, Talkspace (, and Sonos (
Dec 26, 2017
92. Wisdom From The Bushman
Unsure of her future, a young German woman finds herself in Australia picking cherries with a group of ex-cons & social outcasts. She passes the phone to a fellow picker and mentor of sorts who opens up about finding solace in the wilderness. He shares some practical tips, like how to hunt and cook wild pig. Hint: Don't use a fishing spear. This episode is brought to you by Sonos (, Squarespace ( code: CG), Talkspace ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Zelle (
Dec 19, 2017
91. Picture A Sunset
The unusual malady that afflicts this caller stirs up a philosophical discussion about how we, as humans, experience and remember our lives and craft our stories. This episode is brought to you by Sock Club, Squarespace, Casper Mattresses, and Zelle.
Dec 12, 2017
90. Hipster Hospice Chaplain
Gethard has a surprisingly light-hearted chat about death with an expert in the field. This episode is brought to you by Zelle, Talkspace, Hello Fresh, Sock Club, and Brooklinen.
Dec 05, 2017
89. Black Cloud of a Husband
A mother of four tells Gethard about going from med school to motherhood, and how she escaped a troubled marriage with a controlling, manipulative man. 
Nov 28, 2017
88. Cadaver Epiphany
A first year medical student tells Gethard how dissecting dead bodies changed her feelings on death. She opens up about how her mother inspired her to study medicine and some of the worst smells she’s encountered, like when she had to dissect a human rectum. Recorded live in Gainesville, Florida. This episode is brought to you by CanvasPop ( code: BA50), Sonos (, and Talkspace (
Nov 21, 2017
87. Head Injury
A guy got hit really hard in the head. He tells Gethard all about it. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace ( code: CG), Talkspace (, Casper Mattresses (, and Brooklinen ( code: BEAUTIFUL).
Nov 14, 2017
86. Plant Splooge
A bonafide geologist tells Geth about fossilized dung fungi and the behind the scenes secrets of the Museum of Natural History. They also talk about how quickly the Earth is dying and weigh the likelihood of colonizing Mars. This episode is brought to you by Sonos (, Hello Fresh ( code: STORIES30), Audible (
Nov 07, 2017
85. Moravian Trademonk
“You can’t give puppies cow vaccines.” That’s how this caller ends her hour with Gethard. The journey to that moment takes us through: Italian Madrigals, getting licked by a baby cow, going on a tour of a cranberry marsh, and a very personal story about the loss of a friend. All this while she's prepping to perform a show that starts right when the call ends. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace ( code: CG), Talkspace (, and Sonos (
Oct 31, 2017
84. A True Crime Investigator
Usually this caller is the one conducting the interview. He’s a police officer by trade, but he works a little differently than your average cop. He investigates major crimes including sex crimes, shootings, robberies and murders. He tells Geth about some major cases from his career as well as his opinion on the podcast Serial. This episode is brought to you by Hello Fresh ( code: STORIES30), Brooklinen ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Sonos (
Oct 24, 2017
83. The Relaxed Satanist
Gethard has a meandering chit chat with a photographer and former photo developer who details the unusual things people put on film, like nazi motorcycle gang orgies and police crime scene photos. The caller opens up about his interest in the macabre and surprises Geth with his unusual tattoos.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace ( code: CG), Talkspace (, and ZIpRecruiter (
Oct 17, 2017
82. Sex Toys and Bourbon
A nice midwestern girl moved to LA. While fixing herself a drink, she tells Gethard tales of porn, vomit, hair extensions and an elopement. This episode is brought to you by ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Casper Mattresses (, and Sonos (
Oct 10, 2017
81. Rabbits and Catholics
Recently engaged to a deeply Catholic man, this week’s caller asks Gethard for some guidance. Also in this week’s call: weird stuff at cybernetic garage sales, near death experiences at jury duty, and an answer to the question: How do rabbits react to the sound of Gethard’s voice? This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (, and Magoosh ( code: BEAUTIFUL).
Oct 03, 2017
80. Hiding In A Storage Space
Today's caller is a dad with two sons who just dropped his 5 year old off for his first day of Kindergarten and he and his wife have their first couples therapy appointment that afternoon. The caller says that recent professional changes, growing confidence and a desire to get more out of life are driving him and wife apart but Gethard notices him expressing strong feelings toward a female coworker. This episode is brought to you by Magoosh ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Squarespace ( code: CG), ZipRecruiter (, and Hello Fresh ( code: STORIES30).
Sep 26, 2017
79. Civil War Survivor
Today’s caller was injured by grenade shrapnel as a young child and brought to the U.S. by her mother to receive medical treatment. She tells Chris about her family’s experience living through an extended civil war and building a life in the United States. This episode is brought to you by Sonos (, Talkspace (, Casper Mattresses (, and Magoosh ( code: BEAUTIFUL).
Sep 19, 2017
78. Bloomin' Love
Santería, possible mafia connections and digestive troubles are a part of this week’s caller’s complicated family history. Calling from a Dunkin’ Donuts bathroom, this rambunctious fun-loving bartender tells Chris hilarious, bizarre, and gross anecdotes about her family, drunken adventures, and her pro golfer BF.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace ( code: CG), Magoosh ( code: BEAUTIFUL), ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and ZipRecruiter (
Sep 12, 2017
77. Coming Out with Katie Couric
Iconic journalist Katie Couric joins Gethard as guest co-host. They chat with a college student in an early stage of major life changes. The caller bravely opens up about some very personal and emotional stuff...and also talks about having a unique emotional connection to Gethard because she’s seen people eat burritos off of his belly. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (, RXBAR ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Magoosh ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Sonos (
Sep 05, 2017
76. A Big Hole
Eight months pregnant and she loves messing with people, this week’s caller is celebrating her birthday on Beautiful Anonymous. She tells Gethard about some pregnancy-driven life hacks. Controversial birthing practices? They go there. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (, Squarespace ( code: CG), Blue Apron (, and Bound to Delight (
Aug 29, 2017
75. Charlottesville
An African American military vet living in Charlottesville discusses the recent protests in his town. He tells Chris about confronting KKK rallies and how to deal with white supremacists. He’s also playing Mario Kart and really hates Peach. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter (, Talkspace (, and Brooklinen (www.brooklinen code: BEAUTIFUL).
Aug 22, 2017
74. Holy Moly
Having dealt with mental health issues and an eating disorder this caller now helps others confront those problems. She tells Chris about the repercussions of coming out in a small town, and the two discuss their strategies for dealing with anxiety, including the best funny animal videos on YouTube. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (, Casper Mattresses (, ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Book of The Month: Bound to Delight (
Aug 15, 2017
73. Homeschooled Bigfoot Hunter
Sasquatch. Bigfoot. Skunk-Ape. Yeti. Whatever you want to call it, this week's caller is on the hunt. A homeschooled paranormal enthusiast, he tells Chris about some of the things he believes in. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (, The Butterfly Effect with Jon Ronson (, Brooklinen ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Honest Tea (
Aug 08, 2017
72. Aussie Best Friend
An Aussie opens up about his family’s history which includes tales of drug dealing, substance abuse, mental illness, sex addiction and trying to find God in a hot yoga studio. Something really special clicks between Gethard and the caller, and not just because Americans love an Australian accent. Recorded in front of a live audience in Baltimore, Maryland on June 11, 2017. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter ( and Book of the Month: Bound to Delight (
Aug 01, 2017
71. American Studies
What college major could possibly involve writing an academic paper comparing the 1968 film “The Parent Trap” with the 1998 remake starring Lindsay Lohan? It could only be Gethard’s major, American Studies! This week’s caller chats about what it’s like to be an American Studies major during the Trump era and Chris shows off his talent for generating a good thesis. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (, Redbox ( code: STORIES5), Brooklinen ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Blue Apron (, and Bound to Delight (
Jul 25, 2017
70. Tattoo Parlor
Calling in from a tattoo parlor, this week’s caller is getting inked up to commemorate a grim experience. Some wild tattoo stories are told as the phone gets passed around. Secret family drama gets dissected: an estranged brother, internet stalking, rumors of the mafia. This episode is brought to you by Redbox ( code: STORIES4), Squarespace ( code: CG), ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and HBO’s Insecure.
Jul 18, 2017
69. Love Is Everywhere
A mother calls in from a children’s hospital while waiting for her daughter's test results. Gethard & the caller shed some tears while discussing tragedy, sickness, pain and suffering. But it’s not all sad. Birthday parties, gelato, Disney World and other awesome things come up. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (, Redbox ( code: STORIES3), Casper Mattresses ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Book of the Month: Bound to Delight (, and ZipRecruiter (
Jul 11, 2017
68. Married The Day We Met
Gethard chats with a Soprano. As in the highest of the four singing voices in Opera, not a character from a popular HBO show. The caller speaks about troubled relationships from her past and, even more troubling, a serious childhood trauma. (Trigger warning: discussion related to childhood sexual abuse.) This episode is brought to you by Redbox (, Honest Tea (, Away (, Thumbtack (
Jul 04, 2017
67. Country AF
On her lunch break, today’s caller engages in some light hearted chit chat about office gossip and her (sometimes frustrating) side gig as a wedding photographer. But then, when a hot button political issue comes up, things start to get heated. This episode is brought to you by Redbox ( code: STORIES), Subaru (, Talkspace (, and Hulu Plus (
Jun 27, 2017
66. Sex Drugs and Retail
Ever wonder what it's like to be paid to secretly watch shoppers on camera? This week's caller works in the retail field of "loss prevention." He tells Gethard about the time he confronted a shoplifter and got punched in the face, and discusses how the American heroin epidemic is directly correlated with retail theft. Plus, Gethard hears a little bit about the caller's unorthodox personal life. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (, Hulu Plus, Blue Apron (, Squarespace ( code: CG).
Jun 20, 2017
65. Deaf
This week's caller is a somewhat unconventional podcast fan. He loves Beautiful/Anonymous even though he's never technically heard an episode. Hmmm. Mysterious. He shares his unique experience with the medium, his outlook on life, and his best party tricks.  This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (, Hulu Plus, ZipRecruiter (, Casper Mattresses (, Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel (, and Detour (
Jun 13, 2017
64. Mother Moon (Live in Portland, Oregon)
A poet-to-be calls in to the Beautiful Anonymous live tour. She and Gethard get off to a slow start. That might work in the studio, but the live audience gets a little restless! So the caller turns to the people closest to her to help ramp up the excitement. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Detour ( and Talkspace (
Jun 06, 2017
63. Singer Who Won't Sing
Struggling to realize her creative ambitions in early adulthood, this week’s caller confronted body image issues when younger. Gethard gives her a pep talk and discusses the challenge of being creative while dealing with other people's judgement. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (, Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel from Audible (, and Detour (
May 30, 2017
62. Just Like A Johnny Cash Song
Raised in a tumultuous household and married at eighteen to the pastor’s son, today’s caller was divorced before she turned twenty. Betrayal, love triangles and shotgun deaths are all a part of the wild ride that she’s lived in her twenty-six years. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Squarespace ( code: CG), Detour (, and Talkspace (
May 23, 2017
61. Rekindling An Old Friendship
Against the odds, a caller from one of the earliest, most listened-to calls manages to get through for a second time. Unprecedented! The caller gives Gethard an update on what's happened in his life since his first call over a year ago. They chat about dealing with internet commenters (which might instigate some more internet comments). This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (, Blue Apron (, Casper Mattresses (, and ZipRecruiter (
May 16, 2017
60. Public Defender
Big parties with lawyers gathered around piles of cocaine. Inequality in the criminal justice system. Huge corporations ripping off the families of jailed inmates. Gethard talks to a public defender about these topics, and discovers her favorite word: alleged. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace ( and Adam and Eve ( code: STORIES).
May 09, 2017
59. First Kiss
One hour ago, in the rain, this week’s caller experienced her first kiss. She tells Gethard about the high school experience in 2017 covering the new (Snapchat, group texting, nerd culture being cool) and the established (SATs, teen pregnancy, crushes). She also explains how writing Harry Potter fan fiction in the 6th grade led to her current hobby, writing romance novels. This episode is brought to you by Subaru (, Talkspace (, and Adam and Eve ( code: STORIES).
May 02, 2017
58. Vinyl Market Researcher
Should this week's caller quit his lucrative corporate job to pursue his passion? His dream is to purchase a small business but he's nervous that he'll lose his financial stability. Chris chats with him about the plusses and minuses at play in this big life decision.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace ( code: CG), Subaru (, ZipRecruiter (, and Uber (
Apr 25, 2017
57. Swingers
Gethard has a threesome! Okay,'s just a three-way phone call, but this week's callers are a married couple who talk to Chris about their swinging lifestyle. Find out how they meet other swinger couples, what the proper etiquette is in an 8-person orgy, and how they make sure their babysitter doesn’t find out. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace ( code: CG), Subaru (, Blue Apron (, Uber (
Apr 17, 2017
56. A Midwife Discusses Birth Schmutz
Chris asks a midwife some real questions: has she ever seen someone in labor punch someone else? And, what happens to the schmutz left behind after a birth? Politically divisive topics are covered and important lessons are learned (like, never tell a family that the baby looks just like the dad). This episode is brought to you by Subaru (, Mailchimp (, Warby Parker (, Casper Mattresses (, and Bombas (
Apr 10, 2017
55. Trail Blazer
It's a story like something out of a surreal American novel, with wealth and poverty intertwined. On the phone while hiking a mountain, this week’s caller tells Chris about his youth, spent experimenting with every drug known to man. Chris was reminded of the famous quote from professional wrestler Dusty Rhodes: “I have wined and dined with kings and queens and I’ve slept in alleys and dined on pork and beans.”This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (, Subaru (, ZipRecruiter (, Bombas (, Uber (
Apr 04, 2017
54. What Not To Ask A Trans Person
Assigned as a female at birth, this week's caller has been socially and medically transitioning for close to four years. He answers some of the most common questions cis people have for trans people. He also tells Gethard what questions you probably should not ask a trans person. And somehow, this involves the Italian ham known on The Sopranos as "gabagool."This episode is brought to you by Squarespace ( code: CG), Mailchimp (, Talkspace (, and Bombas (
Mar 27, 2017
53. Cruise Ship Mafia
After graduating from the actual (pre-Jack Black) School of Rock, playing with the likes of Peter Frampton, this week’s caller found himself traveling the world as a cruise ship musician. Get the behind-the-scenes details on life at sea and its secret black market economy, plus hear a very special Springsteen sing-a-long between two Jerseyites. This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (, Seeso (, Casper Mattresses (, and Talkspace (
Mar 21, 2017
52. Ron Paul's Baby Part 2
For the one-year anniversary episode, Chris reunites with the very first Beautiful Anonymous caller: Ron Paul’s Baby. Find out if having his story told to millions of people has changed him for better or worse. Did the spotlight destroy him or save him? Most importantly - has it gotten him some dates?This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (, Seeso (, ZipRecruiter (, and Blue Apron (
Mar 14, 2017
51. Made Out With My Teacher
A chance encounter at a coffee shop unearthed difficult experiences from this caller’s high school years. The troublesome nature of the call brings out Chris’s anger and rarely-seen “North-Jersey-guy-ready-to-break-bones” side.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (, Squarespace ( code: CG), Seeso ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Talkspace (
Mar 07, 2017
50. Fugitive Father
Having a reformed criminal kingpin for a dad has made it difficult for this week’s caller to find his path in life. At his father’s urging, he studied water systems engineering, which means he can answer a serious question that’s been on Geth’s mind: Why does the tap water smell so weird in Florida? The answer to that question may be a bit hard to grasp, but understanding will be found in the idea that a good father will respect his child’s hard work and dedication.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (, Squarespace ( code: CG), Talkspace (, and Warby Parker (
Feb 28, 2017
49. Bisexual Brahmin
The caste system, religion, arranged marriages and bisexuality are on the mind of this caffeinated caller. Raised in Kenya and India, educated in California and currently living on the East Coast, he opens up about dealing with his conservative religious family. The conversation spans from breaking down western stereotypes about Indian culture, to the amazing dosa place that Gethard goes to in Queens. This episode is brought to you by Seeso ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Mailchimp (, Talkspace (, and ZipRecruiter (
Feb 21, 2017
48. Power Grid of Love
Interested in the intricacies of how the US electrical grid functions? No? Well, you will be interested in hearing about how the caller wants to “disconnect from her ex-boyfriend’s power grid”. Love, in the language of electricity. Sit back and soak up the metaphors. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace ( code: CG), Mailchimp (, Blue Apron (, and Casper Mattresses (
Feb 14, 2017
47. Illness, Love & Dogs
Today's caller is recovering from a serious illness acquired while working on peace building in East Africa. He likes to give Chris a hard time but also talks about some deep stuff, like contemplating how to maintain one's idealism and passion when suffering from chronic illness. Also, he hopes the Beautiful Anonymous community can help him find a permanent home for a dog he's currently fostering.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (, Talkspace (, and (
Feb 07, 2017
46. 4 Kids 0 Spaghetti
At a young age, he found himself a divorced father of four. Battling depression, all he wanted was to find a nice girl to take on a date for some spaghetti and meatballs. Recovering from the low point in his life, and from career stagnation, this college dropout wants to finish his degree and become a teacher. This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (, Talkspace (, Warby Parker (, and ZipRecruiter (
Jan 31, 2017
45. Inside The Heroin Epidemic
Addicted to heroin for ten years, this week’s caller got clean because she wanted to be a good mother to her new son. She tells Chris about how she started using when a high school boyfriend introduced her to pills. Eventually she was living in her car and spending time in jail, where she networked with other addicts and dealers. She hopes that by speaking with Chris she can help those who may be dealing with addiction themselves or have friends or family who need help by making clear that they are not alone. If you're looking for a place to get help, some have found and to be helpful.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (, Squarespace ( code: CG), and Talkspace (
Jan 24, 2017
44. American Daughter
Raised by parents who moved from Vietnam to the United States in search of a better life, this week’s caller is her family’s first American-born child. She talks about defying stereotypes and asserting her independence by dying her hair. Find out how her “Tiger parents” reacted when she embraced a goth punk identity in middle school and later when she went to work for a non-profit.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (, Talkspace (, Secrets, Crimes and Audiotape podcast from Wondery, and Blue Apron (
Jan 17, 2017
43. Marching Band Teacher
How horny are high school marching band kids? Is it appropriate for a boy to dye his hair in the girls bathroom? This week’s caller drank a sh**-ton (sorry Sally) of coffee and raises these very important questions. She also uses her practiced ‘compassionate teacher’ voice on Chris, and gets him to open up about his feelings on creativity, fame and success.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp ( ), Squarespace ( code: CG), Blue Apron ( ), and Casper Mattresses ( ).
Jan 10, 2017
42. Queer Black Punk in Appalachia
Growing up as a black woman in rural Appalachia wasn't easy. She was different, and she was bullied. But punk rock saved her, and helped her form her own identity. Chris interrupts her Snapchatting at the start of the call, which leads to a discussion about their experiences with social media around the election.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp ( ), Mack Weldon ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Adam and Eve ( code: STORIES), and Texture.
Dec 20, 2016
41. Escape From A Cult
Brainwashed into a religious cult. Our caller escaped 10 years ago, but she's only now starting to process the trauma: from sexual manipulation and poison, to hallucinations and "mind melding". Chris talks about therapy (and discovers a mutual love for go kart rides). This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Mailchimp ( ), HUAWEI ( ), ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and Texture ( ).
Dec 13, 2016
40. Single Mom Cancer Survivor
Today's caller discusses beating cancer and raising her son as a single mom. Through all of her struggles, big and small, she’s stayed relentlessly positive. Let’s just hope she doesn’t get fired for talking to Chris for an hour while at work!This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Mailchimp ( ), Harry’s ( code: BEAUTIFUL), and (code: BEAUTIFUL).
Dec 06, 2016
39. A Sister Scorned
A "dolphin" personality type. Betrayal. Anger. Lunch at a buddhist temple. This week's caller has it all.This episode is brought to you by AMEX, Mailchimp,, Harry’s, and Talkspace.
Nov 29, 2016
38. Fail Army Cop
A small town police officer chats with Chris about the current state of policing in the United States. They try their best to reconcile a divisive issue that incites a lot of passion on all sides. And this is all going on while our caller is on his couch watching Fail Army videos on YouTube.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, AMEX, HUAWEI, Casper Mattresses, and Joyable.
Nov 22, 2016
37. 5% Romantic Interest
Hannibal Buress joins Chris on a call with a college freshman who is a lover of comedy struggling to find romance in his life. Should our caller ditch school and try his hand at comedy? Why were Chris and Hannibal crying last night? Is it normal to be aroused by stealing? These questions and many more will be answered.This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon, Mailchimp, Totes,, and Talkspace.
Nov 15, 2016
36. Cuddly Pudge
Adopting a child from a foreign country takes a lot of time, patience, and passion. This week’s caller has all of these things. He also has the hope that his son-to-be will have the opportunity to experience virtual reality toilets.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Mack Weldon,, Talkspace, and Grommet.
Nov 08, 2016
35. Shakespeare On Molly
Burner, fire-performer-hoola-hooper-grinder-girl, and maybe, a modern-day Shakespeare (on molly) are a few labels we could ascribe to this week's caller. She's been through a lot, including the very shocking breakup of her up-and-coming band. Oh, and on a lighter note: heard of shirt-cocking? Guys, just don't do it.This episode is brought to you by AMEX, Mailchimp,, Casper Mattresses, and Joyable.
Nov 01, 2016
34. A Spooky Episode
Just in time for Halloween, Chris and this spirited artist trade spooky stories...until they are rudely interrupted by the ghost of an angry biker. But the corporeal beings prevail, if only for the caller to give Chris his least favorite nickname ever: Chris Giraffe-Herd.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Talkspace, and Totes.
Oct 25, 2016
Did someone say "brain orgasms??" Today's caller did! She gives Geth a lesson in how to whisper in just the right way to make Beaut/Anon listeners' brains tingle & feel the stress melt away. ASMR me ASAP!This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Grommet, Psychic Source, and
Oct 18, 2016
32. All About Cash
Dear Tom Waits, We look forward to hearing the song you write about this week's caller: falling in love with a stripper, skipping town in a blizzard, a christmas dinner in the demimonde of Boca Raton.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Mack Weldon, Psychic Source,, and Joyable.
Oct 11, 2016
31. 10,000 Pounds
London Calling! (or somewhere in England) Our caller works in the film industry, and in general she's a pretty happy person...except when her phone is being monitored by Jar Jar Binks, or when 10,000 pounds disappear. (That's GBP, y'all!)This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp,, Grommet, and Insecure on HBO.
Oct 04, 2016
30. Shopping at the Face Depot
This week's caller is a linguist who teaches Geth all about the "corpora." In case that's too nerdy for you, hang around for the story about a first date that was captured on a Coast Guard thermal camera. And if you're still not satisfied, we'll take you shopping at the Face Depot.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Talkspace, Audible, and
Sep 27, 2016
29. The Mom is Anonymous Too
Chris Gethard's Mom, Sally, is the kind that doesn't like her son swearing so much. Our caller's Mom is the kind that cheers when her daughter gets a penalty in a youth hockey game. She's also the kind of Mom that picks up the phone at work to be on a podcast she's never heard of. This episode is brought to you by Blue Apron, Casper Mattresses, and Talkspace.
Sep 20, 2016
28. Daddy Dearest
Sure, there's stories about fighting neo-nazis, deranged tree-house guests, and a mom fetching her son's busted teeth. But peel back all the sensational layers and you'll find a man. A man trying to make sense of his childhood while trying to be a good father to his own child. This episode is sponsored by Blue Apron,, and Talkspace.
Sep 13, 2016
27. Chronotopes in Paris
What is a Chronotope? And what does it have to do with time, space, love and sex? Come, walk with us through the streets of Paris, and everything will be explained. This episode is sponsored by DKMS, Mack Weldon,, and Talkspace.
Sep 06, 2016
26. Hot Scoop
Poo-tiful stories flow freely from this anonymous caller. And Geth steps in it.This episode is sponsored by Magoosh, DKMS, Talkspace, and Blue Apron.
Aug 30, 2016
25. Noodlebody
Morrissey sings, "It takes strength to be gentle and kind." Well, Geth hasn't eaten all day, and this self-avowed "Noodlebody" is about to find out if the two hard-boiled eggs Gethard bought from the midtown 7-11 will provide enough strength for gentleness & kindness.This episode is sponsored by DKMS, Magoosh,, Stitch Fix, and Talkspace.
Aug 23, 2016
24. I Cry When I Run
"You're about to hear me have more fun than I've ever had in the history of Beautiful/Anonymous." So sayeth Chris Gethard about this call, which moves from over emotional long distance running, to emo & screamo music, to a jaw dropping medical emergency. Chris is having so much fun that he invites a couple of the caller's friends to join the party. This episode is sponsored by Magoosh, DKMS, Talkspace, and Casper Mattresses.
Aug 16, 2016
23. Anglican Bipolar Blacksheep
For generations her family has been preaching fire and brimstone in the Pentecostal church, but this caller had to find her own way. A self-described, "Anglican bipolar black sheep," she is now preaching a much different message, dedicated to the treatment of mental illness. This episode is sponsored by DKMS, Magoosh, Blue Apron,, and Squarespace.
Aug 09, 2016
22. A Competitive Spirit
This former professional soccer player's life hasn't turned out anywhere close to what she planned -- but she's happy. And as she tells Chris, she's learning how to tap into her competitive spirit every day.This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon, Talkspace, and Magoosh.
Aug 02, 2016
21. Make Fruit Baskets Great Again
She's a mother of two and domestic abuse survivor who wants to talk about Trump.  After hearing her life story Chris understands why she supports The Donald. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, Talkspace, and
Jul 26, 2016
20. Vegan Uncle Buck
He loves animals! But kids? Not so much. This caller delves into his own childhood, his dislike of hardware megastores, and though there's a little darkness, this is one of the more lighthearted calls we've ever had.This episode is sponsored by Magoosh, The Found Podcast by Wondery, Blue Apron,, and Now Hear This Podcast Festival.
Jul 19, 2016
19. Strangers on a Train
A lot of people call up and share stories from their past. But today we are very much living in the present. It's almost like we're experiencing this caller's life with him as it is happening. All aboard the SEPTA train.This episode is sponsored by Seat Geek,, and Squarespace.
Jul 12, 2016
18. OTL in a Hopeless Place
Loves hashtags & millennial abbreviations? Check. Has a deep knowledge of RomComs? Check. Found love in a hopeless place? Check. Name drops J-Lo and inspires Chris to sing some Peter Gabriel? Check.This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon.
Jul 05, 2016
17. Early Onset
She's just 25, but her mother has early onset Alzheimers. This is a call about remembering those who can no longer remember themselves.This episode is sponsored by Ibotta and Audible.
Jun 28, 2016
16. At Sea On a Cardboard Boat (Live at the Vulture Festival)
It's the first ever taping of Beautiful/Anonymous from the Vulture Festival in NYC. The caller is a creative Canadian looking to sail her cardboard boat in the rough waters of daily life. Luckily the audience is on her side.This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon, Casper Mattresses, Ibotta, and AMEX.Photos courtesy of The Vulture Festival.
Jun 21, 2016
15. The Hardest Part Is That You Love Me
This 25 year-old Californian is in the midst of a quarter-life crisis and turns to Chris for help. So they form a mutual appreciation society. #MAS This episode is sponsored by Ibotta, Chirpy, and AMEX.
Jun 14, 2016
14. Jack Mormon
A questioning Mormon and family man calls Chris up exactly 1 hour and 15 minutes before his final law exam of the semester. But this phone call is more important to him than the test.This episode is sponsored by AMEX, Mack Weldon, Chirpy,
Jun 07, 2016
13. Married to a Monster
Two years ago a note came in the mail with surprising and horrifying news about her husband. But despite all the darkness that's crept into her life she is shining with positivity.This episode is sponsored by AMEX, Ibotta,, Chirpy, and...
May 31, 2016
12. Alcoholics Anonymous
We get our first hangup and it's pretty rattling. Let us know what you think.This episode is sponsored by AMEX, SundanceNow Doc Club, Framebridge, and
May 24, 2016
11. Jersey Boy
This entrepreneur seems like he's got it all figured out. But there are certain things he will never reveal to Chris. Plus: how a volcano inadvertently caused the best trip he's ever had in his life. Want to see Chris take a live Beautiful...
May 17, 2016
10. 4 Kids 0 Sex
After 8 years and 4 kids he is more in love with her than ever. But she may not be in love with him. This is the first time he's talking to anyone about it. This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon, Squarespace, and Framebridge.Plus: Come see a...
May 10, 2016
9. Up All Night
This nurse has been up for 24 hours. Chris has the chance to ask her some questions that have been on his mind for a while.
May 03, 2016
8. Running Down a Stapler
The greatest songwriter of all time (self-proclaimed) has written 18,000 songs and counting, including one brand new song for us. Watch out, Tom Petty.
Apr 26, 2016
7. The Cycle of Life
Reflections on death and the value of a 401k turns into candid sex advice from Chris Gethard to his anonymous caller.
Apr 19, 2016
6. Mountain Man vs. City Boy
This outdoorsman and mountaineer is in touch with nature and his Ford F250, he takes care of the people he loves, and is totally willing to share about anything, even poop soup.
Apr 12, 2016
5. A Real Life Superhero
Military veteran and writer talks about his WWII super-spy grandmother, a more recent sad and startling ouija board prediction, and how his life has changed since he left the service.
Apr 05, 2016
4. The Most Amazing Destruction
An aspiring voice actor talks about using jokes to help with the hard times, and explains how she frames success. Plus she asks Chris the most important question he has ever faced: if you were to be eaten by an animal of your choice, which one would...
Mar 29, 2016
3. The Illustrator
A young illustrator in New York City grapples with the line between fine art and commerce...and how to avoid parking tickets.
Mar 22, 2016
2. Passport, Exodus
An ex-Orthodox Jew answers Chris’s pressing questions about Kosher law, particularly as it relates to drinking wine and eating insects. He also reveals a clever passport hack.
Mar 15, 2016
1. Ron Paul's Baby
A true underdog in Denton, Texas reveals his fascinating family history, and a pent-up passion.
Mar 15, 2016
Preview: Beautiful / Anonymous
A sneak peek at Chris Gethard’s new show “Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People,” coming to Earwolf on March 15th! Subscribe now and you won't miss a thing.
Mar 03, 2016