Today I’m bringing back to the podcast a guest who has much goodness to offer our community, Casey O’Roarty, a positive discipline trainer, parent coach, author, and host of the Joyful Courage podcast. Casey is just about to publish her first book, a passion project called Joyful Courage: Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey. I had the opportunity to read an advance copy, and I absolutely loved how accessible, tangible, and real it is.

As you’ll hear in our conversation, Casey has insights and strategies that are powerful for parents raising challenging kids, and she paints a realistic and doable picture of how we can truly calm the drama happening at home and in our families, as well as find more peace in the day to day.

 Casey O’Roarty, M Ed, is a facilitator of personal growth and development. Her work encourages parents to discover the purpose of their journey, while also providing them with tools and a shift of mindset that allows them to deepen their relationships with themselves and their families. As a former teacher, and a Certified Positive Discipline Trainer since 2007, Casey has led countless groups through workshops and classes that have left them feeling empowered and excited about parenting. She also offers an engaging podcast, live and online classes, and individual coaching at www.joyfulcourage.com. Casey lives in the Pacific Northwest with greatest teachers – her husband, and two teenage kids.

 

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• Why Casey wrote her book and what she hopes it does in the world
• The core ideas behind Jane Nelsen’s philosophy of Positive Discipline
• What truly understanding that we as parents are not alone in our journey does for us
• How mindfully paying attention to the body helps us calm the drama at home in difficult moments
• The way using words such as “never” and “always” can negatively impact our parenting experience
• How to develop the muscle of “noticing” and how this simple concept can have a profound impact in our families
• The power of the intentional pause

 
Resources mentioned for calming the drama at home

• Joyful Courage (Casey’s website)
• Joyful Courage: Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey by Casey O’Roarty
• Joyful Courage podcast
• How Positive Discipline Can Help Atypical Children Thrive (podcast episode)
• Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen’s website)
• Love and Love with Joyful Courage (Facebook Group)
• Joyful Courage Parents of Teens (Facebook Group)
• Joyful Courage on Instagram

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Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

In this episode, we’re talking about negative thinking and how to help kids who are more “glass half empty” thinkers shift their mindset. My guest is the woman who literally wrote the book on the subject, psychologist Dr. Tamar Chansky, author of Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking.

Tamar and I talked about what negative thinking is, whether it is possible to change, how to respond when our child is venting their unhappiness or negative thoughts to us, and Tamar’s four steps to combating negative thinking. There’s a good chance that we as the parents and caregivers and adults in the room have our own work to do when it comes to hyperfocusing or dwelling on negative thoughts, so we explore that as well. Honestly, I’ve listened to this episode 3 times already – once recording it, and two more times before releasing it because it’s packed with so many nuggets that I personally need to hear right now. I hope it lands for you the same way. 

 About Dr. Tamar Chansky

Dr. Tamar Chansky, is a psychologist and a writer on a mission to teach kids, adults, and couples how to make the mind a safer place to live by changing their relationship to anxiety one thought at a time. In 1999. Tamar founded Children’s and Adult Center for OCD and Anxiety in Plymouth Meeting, PA.  In addition to the book we’re talking about today, Tamar is the author of Freeing Your Child from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Freeing Your Child from Anxiety, and Freeing Yourself from Anxiety.

 Things you'll learn from this episode

• Whether or not neurodivergent kids are more prone to negative thinking than neurotypical kids
• What the definition of negative thinking is
• Whether it’s possible for a child whose default mode is “glass half-empty” thinking to become more optimistic
• What the negative patterns are that we are trying to disrupt when working on negative thinking with our kids
• Whether venting is something that encourages negative thinking or not
• The four steps to combat negative thinking
• How to navigate the balance of protecting children from adversity and exposing them to the nature of the world around us

 Resources mentioned:

• Dr. Tamar Chansky’s website
• Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking: Powerful, Practical Strategies to Build a Lifetime of Resilience, Flexibility, and Happiness by Dr. Tamar Chansky
• Freeing Yourself from Anxiety: Practical Strategies to Overcome Fears, Worries, and Phobias and Be Prepared for Life--from Toddlers to Teens by Dr. Tamar Chansky
• Freeing Your Child from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: A Powerful, Practical Program for Parents of Children and Adolescents by Dr. Tamar  Chansky
• Children’s and Adult Center for OCD and Anxiety in Plymouth Meeting, PA
• Worrywisekids.org

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

This week I bring back to the show Neil Brown, a licensed clinical social worker, the author of Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle: Resolve the Power Struggle and Build Trust, Responsibility, and Respect, and host of the Healthy Family Connections Podcast.

When I last had Neil on the show, we talked about control battles with teens, and if you haven’t listened to that episode, I highly encourage you to go back and check it out here. In today’s episode, we’re tackling an equally important topic, and one I think will resonate deeply with our audience here: Parental Burnout.

In our conversation, Neil will explain what exactly parental burnout is and how it negatively impacts parents and families, tell us how to identify it, and share his strategies for recovering from it. If you regularly feel frustrated and exhausted and are experiencing high levels of stress in relation to your parenting life, this is an episode you will definitely want to listen to.

 Neil D. Brown, LCSW, is a psychotherapist who has worked with families, couples, and individuals for more than thirty years. Deeply steeped in the theory and practice of family therapy, Brown uses a systemic approach that allows him to understand the system, or context, in which problems are both formed and are healed. This approach has revealed a simple yet profound method of empowering parents and their adolescent youth to put an end to destructive control battles for good. Brown is also a trainer of parents and mental health professionals. Additionally, Brown works in industry with teams and work groups to increase organizational effectiveness.

 Things you’ll learn from this episode

• What parental burnout is and why parents of differently-wired kids are especially susceptible to it
• The importance of making sure our emotional needs are met when it comes to preventing burnout
• Why moms experience parental burnout more frequently than dads
• What recovery from parental burnout looks like, and how long it takes
• How to help teens with a fixed mindset develop a growth mindset

Resources mentioned for burned out parents

• Neil Brown’s website
• Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle: Resolve the Power Struggle and Build Trust, Responsibility, and Respect by Neil Brown
• Healthy Family Connections Podcast (Neil’s podcast)

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

I found about Lori’s work recently and after reading her book Connections over Compliance: Rewiring our Perceptions of Discipline, I really wanted to bring her on as a guest because I believe the work she is doing is revolutionary. 

Lori’s work centers around helping educators, parents, and any adults who work with children shift the way they think about discipline by reaching for sustainable behavioral changes through brain state awareness rather than compliance and obedience. She’s actively pushing back against reactive and punitive practices that can potentially reactivate the developing stress response systems of children, and is advocating for stronger co-regulation practices and regulated brain and body states for adults. 

During this conversation, we consider why there is such a powerful foundational belief that discipline and punishment go together, what happens when the traditional methods of punishment are imposed on children who are coming to school with trauma or a heightened nervous system, and why it’s so important for educators to take responsibility over their own nervous system regulation.  

About Dr. Lori Desautels

Dr. Lori Desautels, has been an Assistant Professor at Butler University since 2016 where she teaches both undergraduate and graduate programs in the College of Education.

Lori’s passion is engaging her students through the social and relational neurosciences as it applies to education by integrating the Applied Educational Neuroscience framework, and its learning principles and practices into her coursework at Butler. 

Lori is the author of 4 books. Her most recent book, Connections over Compliance: Rewiring our Perceptions of Discipline was released in late 2020. Her new book will be published in January, 2023 entitled, “Intentional Neuroplasticity, Our Educational Journey Towards Post Traumatic Growth.”

 Things you'll learn from this episode

• Why there is such a powerful foundational belief that discipline and punishment go together
• What happens when the traditional methods of punishment are imposed on children who are coming to school with traumas or a heightened nervous system
• Why we should be moving away from the behavior management model
• Why it’s so important for educators to take responsibility over their own nervous system regulation
• Strategies for helping teachers (and parents) better show up for dysregulated kids

 Resources mentioned

• Revelations in Education, Dr. Lori Desautel’s website
• Connections Over Compliance: Rewiring Our Perceptions of Discipline by Dr. Lori Desautels
• Eyes Are Never Quiet: Listening Beneath the Behaviors of Our Most Troubled Students by Dr. Lori Desautels
• Resources from Revelations in Education
• Dr. Bruce Perry
• Dr. Mona Delahooke on the Power of Brain-Body Parenting (Tilt Parenting podcast episode)

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

My guest this week is Blake Boles, the self-directed learning advocate behind Unschool Adventures and the author of several books on unschooling, including The Art of Self-Directed Learning, Better Than College, and College Without High School, as well as the host of the Off-Trail Learning podcast. 

Now… you may be reading this and thinking, I’m not homeschooling my child or “unschooling” isn’t my thing. But I’m going to encourage you to listen to what Blake has to say. Because regardless of your child’s educational circumstances, there is wisdom to be gleaned from Blake’s philosophy on self-directed learning and helping our kids grow up into intrinsically motivated humans who understand themselves and are driven to seek out the information and resources they need to achieve their goals. I also love that Blake’s approach beautifully challenges those traditional timelines that our differently wired kids often don’t meet anyway. So… have a listen and let me know what you think. I’m curious to hear how this lands with you. 

Blake Boles is the founder and director of Unschool Adventures and the author of The Art of Self-Directed Learning, Better Than College, and College Without High School.  He hosts the Off-Trail Learning podcast, speaks for alternative schools, writes for The Alliance for Self-Directed Education, and has keynoted multiple homeschooling conferences. 

 Things you’ll learn from this episode 

• What unschooling actually is (in comparison with traditional or eclectic homeschooling)
• The most common myths and assumptions surrounding unschooled kids
• How intrinsic motivation is the key to helping a student learn what they want to learn when they’re ready to learn it
• The ways in which unschooling and self-directed learning respects a child’s unique timeline
• What the transition from a traditional educational model to unschooling might look like might look like
• What a transition to university looks like in the U.S. for children who’ve been homeschooled, and how to do it
• How parents who are homeschooling their child can play the role as “consultant” rather than teacher, and giving child the room to become truly self-directed
• Tips for parents looking to dip their toe into unschooling

Resources mentioned for what is unschooling? 

• Blake Boles’ website
• Unschool Adventures
• Off-Trail Learning 
• The Art of Self-Directed Learning: 23 Tips for Giving Yourself an Unconventional Education 
• Better Than College: How to Build a Successful Life Without a Four-Year Degree 

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Since my guest for today’s episode, Dr. Abigail Gewirtz was on the show just over two years ago near the start of the COVID pandemic, the world has continued to go through increasingly complicated and challenging times. 

Like I’m sure all of you out there listening, I’ve struggled to find ways to help my child feel hope and optimism about the state of the world — the war in Ukraine, a spate of school shootings, a very polarized political landscape, and catastrophic weather events. 

So I wanted to ask Abigail, the author of the wonderful book When the World Feels Like a Scary Place: Essential Conversations for Anxious Parents and Worried Kids, if hope and optimism is possible to find even when things around us feel so unpredictable and chaotic, and if so, how can we cultivate this for our kids in an authentic way?

In our conversation, Abigail shares her ideas for doing that, as well as ways we adults can manage our own fear and worries to be able to show up for our kids, and the importance of guiding kids toward something that makes them feel purpose and meaning. 

About Dr. Abigail Gewirtz

Dr. Abigail Gewirtz is a child psychologist and professor at the University of Minnesota’s College of Education and Human Development (ranked the world’s third-leading institution of its kind). 

Dr. Gewirtz has consulted for and presented to national and international organizations, including the US Congress and UNICEF, on parenting. Dr. Gewirtz’s most recent book is When the World Feels Like a Scary Place: Essential Conversations for Anxious Parents and Worried Kids.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• What Abigail is seeing in her work over the past two years regarding of the state of the world and the impact on kids and families
• How adults can manage their own pain, fear, and worries so they can show up for their kids
• Whether it’s possible for our kids to feel optimism in the midst of growing up in a heavy and difficult times
• How to guide a child toward identifying something that could help them feel a sense of purpose and meaning
• What happens in our kids' developing brains when they consume content that reinforces pessimism and division
• What leading kids with negative mindsets toward hope might look like

Resources mentioned:

• Dr. Abigail Gewirtz’s website
• When the World Feels Like a Scary Place: Essential Conversations for Anxious Parents and Worried Kids by Dr. Abigail Gewirtz
• How to Talk to Kids When the World Feels Like a Scary Place (Tilt Parenting podcast episode)
• Dr. Devorah Heitner on Online Safety and Internet “Rabbit Holes” and Differently Wired Kids (Tilt Parenting podcast episode)
• Dr. Tamar Chansky on How to Free Our Children from Negative Thinking (Tilt Parenting podcast episode)

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

In this episode, I talk with Dr. Melissa Neff, a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Missoula, MT in the United States who specializes in conducting psychological evaluations with children (ages 6-18) and adults. A lot of Melissa’s practice focuses on helping parents figure out what’s going on with their children and diagnosing things like ADHD and autism, although she shared with me that one of her favorite aspects of her practice lately is working with girls who are on the spectrum.

There are so many things I could have talked about with Melissa, but for today’s episode, we focused our conversation on the diagnostic process—what it involves and when and how parents can take the steps they need to pursue a diagnosis—as well as the pros and cons of getting a diagnoses, and more specifically, of having one or more labels attached to a child, both in their educational journey, as well as their lives as they grow into adults. 

 Melissa Neff, Ph.D received her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology in 2008 from the University of Montana following the completion of an APA-approved pre-doctoral internship at Spokane Mental in Spokane, WA. She has extensive training in working with children and adults of all ages. Her areas of specialty are the diagnostic evaluation of psychological disorders and the assessment and treatment of trauma. Dr. Neff also has extensive experience in testing for ADHD, autism spectrum disorders, mood disorders, personality disorders, and anxiety disorders. She utilizes a strengths-based approach in her work in an attempt to foster resilience, preferring a team-centered approach to assessment and intervention.

 Things you’ll learn from this episode

• The typical / “best” ages for kids to be assessed
• What some of the early signs are that a child might be on the autism spectrum
• How subjective is the process of assessing / diagnosing a child?
• What makes a “good diagnosis?”
• Why the current diagnostic process isn’t catching everyone, especially girls (for both autism and ADHD)
• The value of a diagnosis or label—pros and cons
• Tips for navigating the process of getting a diagnosis

Resources mentioned for the assessment process for kids

• Dr. Melissa Neff’s website
• A Conversation with Julie George About Girls on the Autism Spectrum
• ADHD is Different for Women
• Decades of Failing to Recognize ADHD in Girls Has Created a Lost Generation of Women 
• Neurotribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity 

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Today is an important conversation about online communities and internet rabbit holes. And I felt pulled to tackle this topic for the show because I know that the past few years in particularly has been a time where differently wired kids have been a) spending a LOT more time online and connecting with people they may not have even meant in real life, and b) doing their identity development largely online as a result of COVID. And I also know that this can put our kids, and us as their parents and caregivers, in challenging positions as we navigate a seemingly endless stream of discourse that may lead our kids down the wrong paths.

So I asked my friend and screen and tech expert Dr. Devorah Heitner to join me for a frank and open conversation about it all. We talked about the ways differently wired kids might be exposed to harmful content, and why our kids may be more susceptible to toxic or unhealthy virtual rabbit holes in the first place, the popular places where teens and kids are hanging out the most right now, the way our kids’ worldview and their brain development is impacted they content their engaging with, and what we parents might not know that we should know about regarding this topic.
 

About Dr. Devorah Heitner

Dr. Devorah Heitner is the author of Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World and her book on navigating Privacy and Reputation with kids and teens, Growing Up in Public will be out in 2023 with Penguin Random House.

Dr. Heitner’s work has appeared in the New York Times, the Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, and CNN Opinion. She has a Ph.D. in Media/Technology & Society from Northwestern University and has taught at DePaul and Northwestern. 

 Things you'll learn from this episode

• Why differently wired kids are more vulnerable to Internet rabbit holes
• The places online where today’s teens and kids are hanging out the most right now
• Whether it’s possible to set up controls to manage the type of contents kids are accessing on sites like Reddit
• The way our kids’ worldview and their brain development is impacted by engaging with potentially toxic content
• What parents don’t know about what's going on with their kids and the way that they're accessing content

Resources mentioned for Unmasking Autism

• Devorah Heitner’s website
• Phonewise Boot Camp 
• Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World by Dr. Devorah Heitner
• Devorah’s TEDx Talk, The Challenges of Raising a Digital Native
• Devorah on Twitter
• Devorah on Instagram

 

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Are you worried about your child’s video gaming habits? If so, here’s interesting conversation with Eric Lanigan about two topics that I know are relevant, and perhaps concerning, to many listeners out there — video gaming and motivation. I reached out to Eric after learning about an online course he runs for parents called Making Peace with Gaming, because I was curious to know just exactly how we do that, and what that actually means in the context of everyday life with kids who are really into gaming. What I love about this conversation is it went so much deeper than video gaming and into the heart of the emotional lives of our children. I found our conversation to be highly thought-provoking—I hope you get a lot out of it.

Eric Lanigan is a Motivation Coach who has helped hundreds of people to get clear on what they want -and then do it. He guides his clients in directing their attention inwards instead of blaming themselves or external events. A former video game addict himself, Eric offers an intimate view of the world of compulsive gaming. Eric has delivered dozens of workshops on emotional intelligence, motivation, and procrastination. His online course, The Big Shift, has served over 750 people from more than 15 countries.

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• Why many children get so deeply involved in their video game worlds
• The emotional payoff many children get from engaging in games
• Eric’s ideas around how parents can respect and understand their child’s video gaming
• The connection between motivation and gaming, and what parents miss when considering these
• Why Eric says the problem isn’t the games themselves but the way we relate to the games
• The biggest fears and concerns parents have surrounding their child’s gaming
• Eric’s thoughts on parents legislating their children’s gaming and how rewards and punishments associated with gaming may be counterproductive / result in the opposite desired outcome

 

Resources mentioned for parents worried about their child’s video gaming

• Eric Lanigan’s website
• Making Peace with Gaming online course*
• The Big Shift online course
• Blake Boles
• A Conversation with Blake Boles on Unschooling and Self-Directed Learning (podcast episode)
• Asher Talks About the Pros and Cons of Banning Video Games (podcast episode)
• Eric on Facebook

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

This episode explores the subject of vulnerability, male culture, and parenting specifically in the context of heteronormative relationships and how men can show up as better dads to their differently wired children. And I have the perfect guest to explore this topic with — Todd Adams, half of the duo of Zen Parenting Radio, and a leadership coach for men and the executive director of the international men’s organization, Men Living. 

Todd and I looked at the societal norms and pressures on men that get in the way of their being vulnerable in their relationships, feel more connected at home, and hold emotional space for their families, especially in families with neurodivergent kids and where the demands on relationships (emotionally, mentally, and physically) may be more intense. We also talked about what women can do to support and encourage their male partners to do inner work and show up as dads in a way that will better support their relationships and their family as a whole. 

Things you'll learn from this episode

• What the a “man box” is (and how it differs from “toxic masculinity”)
• The barriers in a heteronormative relationship that stand in the way of men feeling connected, including the additional challenges when raising a differently wired child
• How families can benefit from men showing up and being more vulnerable in their relationships
• What women can do to encourage their male partners to do the work and how they can support them through it
• How dads can find other like-minded dads and connect with them

Resources mentioned for dads, the "man box" and how men can better show up for their kids and families

• Men Living
• Zen Parenting Radio (Todd and Cathy Adams’ podcast)
• Todd Adam’s Coaching Site
• Getting Aligned Through Parenting and Marriage Challenges, with Todd and Cathy Adams (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Cathy Adams on Zen Parenting in an Unpredictable World
• The ManKind Project
• The Mask You Live In
• Jennifer Siebel Newsom
• A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckert Tolle

 

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

If you have a differently wired child who is athletic and/or is into sports, this episode is for you. My guest is Susan Stout, the founder Own Beat Athlete, a new resource aimed at helping athletic coaches understand their athletes who march to a different beat. Susan knows from personal experience as an athlete herself, a former coach, and the parent of an athletic differently wired child, that many great athletes can be challenging to coach because of their wiring—they can be easily frustrated, disruptive, forgetful, inconsistent. But she also knows that they can be a teams’ greatest asset. Susan’s goal is to equip others with what she wishes she knew when she was a coach, and support and bring out the best in the many athletes who didn’t fit the mold, with a specific focus on athletes with ADHD, learning differences, and anxiety.

This is a really interesting conversation and Susan’s resources are a great starting point for listeners who want to bridge that gap of knowledge between their child’s behavior and their sports coach. I hope you enjoy it.

Susan Stout is an advocate for athletes who are wired differently and struggle to participate or reach their potential in sports. She specializes in ADHD, learning differences and anxiety. Susan is the founder of Own Beat Athlete, a project to provide athletic coaches with the understanding and tools they need to help their differently wired athletes thrive. She brings to the work her perspective as a swimmer, coach, teacher, lawyer and mom to an avid and talented young athlete with ADHD and dyslexia.

 

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• How and when parents should let athletic coaches know about a child’s wiring
• What kind of unique gifts differently wired athletes bring to their sports
• What the common challenges are for differently wired kids participating in sports
• How parents can talk with their kids about learning how to self-advocate for themselves with their coaches
• Susan’s thoughts on how willing coaches are to better understand and support their differently wired athletes
• How Own Beat Athlete supports coaches (and parents of athletes) to know how to practically support and problem solve with challenges related to neurodifferences
• What parents should look for to know whether or not they should step in

 

Resources mentioned for coaching differently wired athletes

• Own Beat Athlete
• Own Beat Athlete / Susan Stout on Twitter
• Susan Stout on Facebook
• Own Beat Athlete’s Coaches’ Toolkit

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

In this special bonus episode, Tilt Parenting is sharing the feed with Sarah Rosensweet and her Peaceful Parenting Podcast, broadcasting Episode 40: Coaching Call with Georgina: How Our Childhood Affects Our Parenting. 

Often on our parenting journey, our kids may do something or act in a way that makes us feel triggered and shut down. Often that means there’s something for us to look at within us that needs attention or healing.

In this coaching call, Georgina joins Sarah to talk about managing her son’s big feelings. She is the mom of six year old Oswald and a five month old baby. Georgina wanted to know how to best support her six year old, who is a really intense little guy with big feelings. Be sure to listen to the end to hear about Georgina’s big breakthrough!

The episode covers:

• How our kids can trigger unhealed traumas from our past 
• Giving our kids space to process their big feelings and managing ours at the same time
• Strategies to empty emotional backpacks before coming home from a long day
• How Georgina was able to connect with her inner child

Learn more:

• Show Notes
• How to Stop Yelling At Your Kids (free course)

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

If you are a regular listener of this show, you will be familiar with Polyvagal Theory, as it’s coming up in multiple interviews. But this episode is the first one dedicated solely to exploring this powerful theory. And to explore it with us, I’m thrilled to be talking with Deb Dana, a clinician, consultant, and author who is known for being a translator of Polyvagal Theory, which was developed by Dr. Stephen Porges in the mid-1990s.

In this episode, Deb Dana gives us a primer of the key points of Polyvagal Theory, and in doing so, explains the ways in which it can support the way we parent our differently-wired kids. Deb explains the nervous system pathways, why co-regulation is essential to our survival, what befriending and listening to our autonomic nervous system looks like in practice, and the benefits of having a breathing practice. We also talk about why these concepts can change our relationships to our daily life even if our circumstances stay the same. 

Deb Dana, LCSW is a clinician, consultant and author specializing in complex trauma.  Her work is focused on using the lens of Polyvagal Theory to understand and resolve the impact of trauma, and creating ways of working that honor the role of the autonomic nervous system.  She is a founding member of the Polyvagal Institute, consultant to Khiron Clinics, advisor to Unyte, and developer of the signature Rhythm of Regulation Clinical Training Series. Deb is well known for translating Polyvagal Theory into a language and application that is both understandable and accessible for clinicians and curious people alike.

Deb’s clinical work published with W.W. Norton includes The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation, Polyvagal Exercises for Safety and Connection: 50 Client Centered Practices, the Polyvagal Flip Chart: Understanding the Science of Safety and the Polyvagal Card Deck: 58 Practices for Calm and Change. 

Things you'll learn from this episode

-The mission behind Deb’s book Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory
-What the nervous system pathways are and the three states we can be in
-What aspects of our nervous systems are innate or “hardwired” versus routed in nurture or life experience
-Why co-regulation is essential to our survival and examples for ways in which we constantly do naturally
-What befriending and listening to our autonomic nervous system looks like in practice
-What the benefits of having a regular breathing practice are

Resources Mentioned

-Deb Dana’s website, Rhythm of Regulation
-Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory by Deb Dana
-Polyvagal Card Deck: 58 Practices for Calm & Change
-Polyvagal Exercises for Safety and Connection: 50 Client-Centered Practices by Deb Dana
-Polyvagal Practices: Anchoring the Self in Safety by Deb Dana (coming March 2023)
-Stephen Porges

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

For this episode about ADHD and nutrition, I spoke with one of America’s leading experts in the field of childhood nutrition, Jill Castle. Jill is a registered dietician / nutritionist with over twenty-five years of experience working with babies, toddlers, children, and teens, in a variety of settings from private practice and consulting to author and writer. Her specialty is taking the current research in pediatric nutrition and shaping it into practical, sane advice for parents and healthcare providers. Jill writes the blog, “Just the Right Bite” and hosts a childhood nutrition podcast called The Nourished Child. 

In today’s conversation, Jill shares her insights about what we know about the relationship between ADHD and nutrition, the impact of nutritional deficiencies in kids, and how to not get overwhelmed at the thought of making changes in your family and, more specifically, your child’s diet. She also shares some great tips for how to get started in making small changes that can have a big impact. Jill truly is an expert in her field, and I learned a lot in this conversation. I hope you enjoy it!  

Jill Castle is a registered dietitian/nutritionist and a childhood nutrition expert. With over 25 years of experience with babies, toddlers, children and teens, in a variety of settings from private practice and consulting to author and writer, and as a mother of 4, Jill is sought after as one of America’s leading experts in the field of childhood nutrition.

Things you’ll learn from this episode 

• What the current research says about ADHD and nutrition
• The common types of nutritional challenges and deficiencies faced by kids with ADHD
• How to address nutritional concerns with your child without getting overwhelmed
• Thoughts on dealing with shame or guilt surrounding a child’s nutritional habits
• Whether or not good nutrition can be a substitute for medication when it comes to treating a child with ADHD
• Tips for making small, positive nutritional changes in your home and with your ADHD child
• How we can get our kids invested in their own nutritional well-being

 Resources mentioned for ADHD and Nutrition in Kids

• Jill Castle’s website
• Jill’s podcast: The Nourished Child
• Jill’s books
• Jill’s Blog Post: A Healthy ADHD Diet for Kids

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• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
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I’m really excited to bring you this conversation with Dr. Norinne Russell on a new topic we haven’t covered before on this show and one that only came into my radar last year, and that is rejection sensitive dysphoria or RSD, a dysphoria commonly experienced by people with ADHD. We talked about what rejection sensitive dysphoria is and how it’s different from mood disorders or emotional dysregulation, what the early signs are and examples of triggers from Norrine’s own experience with her son, and how to support children with RSD. I’m sure this conversation will resonate with many of you and hope you find this new topic interesting and valuable to your family. 

 

About Dr. Norrine Russell

Dr. Norrine Russell is the founder of Russell Coaching for Students, which uses an innovative method of coaching for complex students, including those who are 2E; have ADHD, Autism, or Anxiety; and those with learning differences. This innovative method, Connected Coaching, has proven successful for hundreds of students since 2009. She is the author of the recently published guide for parents, “Asking the Right Questions Before, During, and After Your Child’s ADHD Diagnosis.”

With twenty years of experience creating positive youth development and parenting education programs, Dr. Russell has extensive knowledge of child development, learning styles, special needs, and positive parenting philosophies. She blends this knowledge to provide students and parents with comprehensive support and the tools they need to grow and thrive.

 

Things you'll learn from this episode

• What rejection sensitive dysphoria or RSD is and how it presents
• What the early signs of rejection-sensitive dysphoria are and examples of triggers for children and adolescents
• The difference between RSD, mood disorders, and “typical” emotional dysregulation that neurodivergent children might experience
• How to support children with RSD

 

Resources mentioned for Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) & ADHD

• Dr. Norrine Russell’s website
• Dr. Norrine Russell via telephone: +12127161161
• Kids in the Syndrome Mix of ADHD, LD, Autism Spectrum, Tourette's, Anxiety, and More!: The One Stop Guide for Parents, Teachers, and Other Professionals by Dr. Martin Kutscher
• New Insights Into Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (Additude Magazine article)
• How ADHD Ignites Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (Additude article)
• Free Resource: Understanding Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (Additude article)

 

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My guest for this episode is the brilliant Julie Lythcott-Haims., the author of the New York Times’ bestselling, and in my opinion, majorly game-changing-in-the-parenting-space book, How to Raise an Adult. She wrote it after noticing that prospective college students at Stanford University, where she was dean of admissions, were being over-parented and as a result, were lacking the resources to develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success.

In this episode, Julie and I talk about about what it takes for a child to be successful—looking at how we define success along the way—and explore what we as parents can do to help our child develop the agency they need to become self-actualized adults. I loved having this conversation with Julie and am still noodling on the many takeaways and aha moments I experienced. I hope you get a lot out of it.

 Julie Lythcott-Haims' How to Raise an Adult has been published in over two dozen countries and gave rise to a TED talk that became one of the top TED Talks of 2016 with over 3.5 million views and counting, as well as a forthcoming sequel on how to be an adult, for young adults. Two years later Julie published Real American: A Memoir, a critically-acclaimed and award-winning memoir which examines racism through her experience as a Black and biracial person.

 Things you’ll learn from this episode

• What is at the root of fear-based parenting
• Why Julie says most parents are raising kids from a place of love, ego, and fear
• Challenges and hardships every child should face in order to be ready to be an adult
• How we do our children a disservice when we “become” their default executive functioning
• How we can (and need to) redefine what success looks like
• The connection between successful adults and a child doing chores (and how to get started if you’re not doing it now)
• Why happiness in our kids stems from love
• The benefits of hands-on work for kids developing a sense of agency
• How to help our kids bolster their self-advocacy skills

 

Resources mentioned for helping differently wired teens launch

• Julie Lythcott Haims’ website
• How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success 
• Real American: A Memoir 
• Julie’s TED Talk: How to Raise Successful Kids
• Julie’s TEDxGunnHighSchool Talk: Throw Out the Checklisted Childhood
• Julie’s TEDxStanford Talk: Be Your Authentic Self
• How to Be An Adult 

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• Visit Tilt Parenting
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• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Author and reporter, Anya Kamenetz is back on the podcast to talk about her new book The Stolen Year: How Covid Changed Children’s Lives, And Where We Go Now. The Stolen Year is a powerful look at how the pandemic disrupted children’s lives — their learning, mental health, and overall well-being. The Stolen Year isn’t written specifically for parents of differently wired children, but I thought it was important to really explore what the research and data shows the cost of the past two years has been for our most valuable resource – our children, as well as consider the question – where do we go from here?

During our conversation we talked about the trends on decreasing graduation rates, the impact of food scarcity on children and adolescents, and caregiver depression. We also talked about the kinds of resources families need to recover from the pandemic, especially within marginalized communities and more severely impacted populations, and much more. 

Anya Kamenetz has covered education for many years, including for NPR, where she also co-created the podcast Life Kit:Parenting in partnership with Sesame Workshop.

Kamenetz is the author of several acclaimed nonfiction books: Generation Debt ; DIY U ; The Test: Why Our Schools Are Obsessed With Standardized Testing, But You Don’t Have To Be, and The Art of Screen Time: How Your Family Can Balance Digital Media and Real Life.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• What the long-lasting effects of COVID in children’s lives are according to Anya’s research
• Where we should be focusing our energy — our kids’ learning loss or their mental health and wellbeing
• The trends on decreasing graduation rates and how that might play out in the next few years for young people
• Whether experts consider the pandemic to be an ACE (adverse childhood experience)
• The impact of food scarcity on children during COVID
• What resources families need to recover from the pandemic, especially for marginalized communities

Resources mentioned for the impact of COVID on children

• Anya Kamenetz’s website
• The Stolen Year: How Covid Changed Children’s Lives, and Where We Go Now by Anya Kamenetz
• Anya Kamenetz Talks About Her Book, The Art of Screentime (Tilt Parenting podcast)
• The Art of Screen Time: How Your Family Can Balance Digital Media and Real Life by Anya Kamenetz

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

This week I’m talking with Zach Morris, the executive director and development of curriculum and instruction at LEARN Inc. LEARN Inc. is an non-for-profit school in Missoula, Montana in the United States which is approaching education in a thoughtful and alternative way, and with powerful results, especially for their neurodivergent students, which make up to 75% of the student body. Their mission is to facilitate individualized learning opportunities that honor neurodivergence, encourage social collaboration, and foster whole-person growth. And as a result, the kids at LEARN are getting the opportunity to develop with confidence and feeling seen for who they are.

I know that this education piece—figuring out how to help our child develop a love of learning and reach their full potential—is one of the most challenging pieces of raising differently wired kids, and I just have to say that talking with Zach left me feeling inspired, hopeful, and motivated. Zach believes there is a different way, and he’s doing his part to push the needle forward. Together we talk about the the philosophy of nonviolent communication, what can happen for our kids when we practice compassion with them, and how parents like us can bring some of Zach’s philosophy into our lives to support our kids. This was one of those mind = blown conversations for me. I hope you like it.

 Zach Morris M.Ed is a leader in education. He holds a Montana State educators license, he is HANDLE level 1&2 certified, and he is an active pursuant of Non-Violent Communication practices. His current research targets neurodiversity and learning.

 

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• What it looks like when education is grounded in compassion and the principles of nonviolent communication, ecological literacy, and whole person learning (social, emotional, physiological, and academic)
• Why Zach believes the key to education is individualization and diversity within the system
• How a child can be shifted from feeling they do everything wrong to feeling like they can are heard and can contribute
• How Zach helps a child with PTSD from their previous educational experiences recover
• How parents can incorporate Zach’s philosophy into their daily lives
• Why Zach believes that we have choice in everything

 

Resources mentioned for whole-person learning

• Learn Inc
• A Deep Dive Into Diagnoses, Assessments, and Labels, with Dr. Melissa Neff 
• The Center for Nonviolent Communication 
• Speak Peace in a World of Conflict 
• Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life 
• Dr. Devon MacEachron on Assessing and Supporting Twice-Exceptional Learners 

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

For today’s episode, I’m bringing multi-award-winning director, producer and executive film producer, Marc Smolowitz, back on the podcast. It was four years ago that Marc first came on the show to talk about a movie he was working on called The G Word, a feature-length documentary about giftedness that asks the urgent equity question – In the 21st century, who gets to be Gifted in America and Why? Marc is currently working on the post-production of the movie so I wanted to invite him back to talk about what the last 4 years have been like in the giftedness community. What has changed? What are the things we need to be looking out for and what initiatives have been created?

AND, I also wanted this show to be a part of celebrating the 2nd annual Gifted / Talented / Neurodiversity Awareness Week, a week-long celebration created by Marc and which is happening this very week. The theme for this year’s awareness week is Gifted JOY, and I really love the idea of connecting the concept of joy and empowerment to the conversation surrounding giftedness.

Marc Smolowitz is a multi-award-winning director, producer, and executive producer who has been significantly involved in 50+ independent films. His films have been screened at the world’s top-tier festivals such as Sundance, Berlin, Venice, Tribeca, Locarno, Chicago, Palm Springs, SF FILM, AFI Docs, IDFA, and DOC NYC, among others. In 2009, Marc founded 13th Gen, a San Francisco-based company that works with a dynamic range of independent film partners globally to oversee the financing, production, post-production, marketing, sales, and distribution efforts of a vibrant portfolio of films and filmmakers. 

In 2022, Marc is currently in post-production on THE G WORD – a feature-length documentary about giftedness that asks the urgent equity question – In the 21st century, who gets to be Gifted in America and Why?

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• How the conversation surrounding giftedness and neurodivergence have changed in recent years and how those have impacted the direction fo The G Word
• Why it’s so important to include the concept of neurodivergence in the broader conversation about gifted and talented populations
• How we can intentionally use joy to explore and ease pain/trauma narratives, especially for gifted and neurodiverse populations
• How parents can lean into the joy of raising their gifted children and get involved in celebrating GTN Awareness Week

Resources mentioned:

• 13th Gen, Marc’s production company
• The G Word Film
• G/T/N Awareness Week
• Supporting Black, Gifted Students with Dr. Joy Lawson Davis (Tilt Parenting podcast interview)

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
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• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

In this episode of Tilt Parenting, I bring back to the show Simone Davies, a Montessori teacher and parent educator who runs a Montessori playgroup in Amsterdam for babies, toddlers, and preschoolers up to four years old. Through her online business, The Montessori Notebook, Simone focuses on helping parents learn how to bring Montessori into their home. 

Today Simone and I are talking about the “spaces” in our home—specifically how we can best design and set them up to support our differently-wired kids. I’ve watched as Simone developed her virtual e-course, Setting Up Your Home Montessori Style, and I was struck by how the approach she talks about in her course directly relates to the things we as parents can do to support our kids in developing those crucial executive functioning skills, like task initiation, time management, planning, and organizing, as well as fostering independence. In this episode, we’ll talk about how we can set up our homes—our kitchen, bedroom, shoes and coat area, homework space—to support our children in fostering these skills. 

 Simone Davies is also the author of The Montessori Toddler, a comprehensive guide to raising your toddler in a Montessori way. It includes Montessori activities, how to set up your home, and how to encourage cooperation from your children, and The Montessori Baby.
 

Things you’ll learn from this episode 

• How to set up the shoes and coat area to help kids “get out the door” with success and independence
• How making checklists for our kids can instill in them a sense of responsibility while also easing transitions
• What parents who aren’t naturally organized can support themselves
• The gifts of decluttering and clearing our space
• The importance of making a homework space inviting and distraction-free
• Tips for setting up spaces to foster more independence in children
• Why making things attractive, cozy, and comfortable benefits our kids

 
Resources mentioned for supporting children’s growth at home 

• The Montessori Notebook
• Simone Davies on Strategies for Staying Calm in Difficult Situations
• Setting Up Your Home Montessori-Style 
• Julie George on the Role of Executive Functioning in Differently-Wired Kids 
• Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard

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• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

On today’s episode I’m talking to Eliza Fricker about PDA or pathological demand avoidance – and in fact I know many people interpret PDA as persistent desire for autonomy. I’ve done a few episodes on PDA before but never from a parent’s perspective so after reading Eliza’s book, The Family Experience of PDA, I knew I wanted to share her perspective with the Tilt community. During this episode, we talked about how demand avoidance is more extreme in a child with a PDA profile vs. the inflexibility and rigidity we might see in other neurodivergent kids, what Eliza has learned about herself parenting a child with PDA, and what her resistance was to the changes needed to her parenting style. Eliza also gave out some great tips for teachers who have a PDA student in their classroom and for parents who are struggling with family, friends, or people close to them who aren’t willing to understand what PDA is and what that means for their family.

Eliza Fricker is the illustrator behind “Missing the Mark” a deeply personal and all too human exploration of a mother’s journey navigating the education system and everyday life with a child who can’t go to school. Eliza’s latest book, Can’t Not Won’t will be published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers in December 2022.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• What makes demand avoidance more extreme in children with PDA
• Eliza’s experience in changing her parenting ways to become more flexible
• Tweaks teachers can use to work with children who have PDA in a classroom setting
• How PDA may look different than “typical demand avoidance” that we might see in some neurodivergent children
• What Eliza has learned about herself from parenting a child with PDA
• Advice for parents who are raising a child with PDA

• Eliza Fricker’s website
• The Family Experience of PDA by Eliza Fricker
• An Intro to PDA brought to you by Harry Thompson and Laura Kerbey, illustrated by Eliza Fricker
• Eliza Fricker / Missing the Mark on Facebook
• Eliza Fricker / Missing the Mark on Twitter
• Neurodivergent Education and Support Training (N-est)
• Harry Thompson’s website
• PDA of North America
• Alfie Kohn on Practicing Unconditional Parenting (Tilt Parenting podcast)

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Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Today’s episode is a Kid’s POV Special episode featuring another conversation with 12-year-old Asher. Our topic? Conflict. More specifically, handling parent-child conflict between the two of us. We’re tackling this topic because I’ve been getting questions from listeners who want to know a) if we even have conflicts at all and b) if so, how we handle them.

The easy answer to the first part of that question is DEFINITELY. We DEFINITELY have conflict. I’m very human in that way, as is Asher. Today, we’ll spend the episode answering the second part of that question. We’ll talk about the kinds of things that crop up and cause conflict between us, and then we’ll share with you what that actually looks like in our world—what I do, what Ash does, and most importantly, how we move through and past it.

Pro tip: This is a good episode for co-listening! When Asher and I listen to podcasts, we dump a puzzle out on the dining room table and listen while building the puzzle. It makes for a nice combination!

 About Debbie & Asher

Debbie Reber is the founder and CEO of Tilt Parenting and the host of the TiLT Parenting Podcast. 12-year-old Asher is Debbie’s child and is regularly featured on the podcast. Find out more by visiting the About Page.

 Things you’ll learn from this episode

• The benefits of talking through and getting clear on expectations (for all members of the family) prior to leaving for a vacation
• A strategy for using the collaborative problem solving approach to identify, address, and pre-solve concerns ahead of time
• How to make departure day go more smoothly
• The benefits of exploring and researching aspects of a vacation time well in advance of the trip (including accommodations, activities, etc.)
• A strategy for using written schedules coupled with frequent reviews during a vacation keeps everyone’s expectations in check
• The benefits of bringing a child into the planning process (and letting them determine some of what will happen on vacation)
• Why it’s useful to work with your child to discover what they need most on vacation and then incorporating it into your daily plan (ie: rest, chill time, etc.)

 Resources mentioned for handling parent-child conflict

• Download a PDF of our Family Goals Worksheet
• Download a PDF of our Vacation Concerns Worksheet
• Download a PDF of our Daily Vacation Planner Worksheet
• Look at our Departure Plan whiteboard

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Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

My guest today is author, productivity guru, and mom of 5, Laura Vanderkam. Laura is the author of several time management and productivity books, including the one we are discussing today, Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters. She is also the host of the Before Breakfast podcast and the co-host, with Sarah Hart-Unger, of the Best of Both Worlds podcast. 

I’ve long been a fan of Laura’s books, and so I was excited to talk with her about Tranquility By Tuesday, and honestly, since reading it, I’ve started incorporating a few of her strategies into my world as I try to be more mindful and aware of how I spend my time. The results have been pretty great. That’s why I wanted to share Laura’s work with my community because I know so many of you are dealing with overwhelm and burnout. And my hope is that you’ll take away one or two nuggets that you can play with in your daily life to move the needle closer to tranquility.

During our conversation, Laura shared her definition of tranquility, the common myths that get in the way of building more peace in our lives, and why it’s so important for families to have adventures together. She also shared multiple strategies that I promise are easy enough to implement. And again, even though they might seem like small shifts, they can have a big impact in your world.

About Laura Vanderkam

Laura is the author of several time management and productivity books, including the forthcoming Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters. She is the host of the Before Breakfast podcast and the co-host, with Sarah Hart-Unger, of the Best of Both Worlds podcast. She lives outside Philadelphia with her husband and five children.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• Laura’s definition of tranquility and pushing back against the perception of not having enough time
• Advice for parents who want to better manage their energy
• The barriers and myths that get in the way of building peace and tranquility
• Strategies to poke holes and reframe the stories that we tell ourselves
• Why it’s so important for families to have adventures together
• Simple “rules” or guidelines that can be gamechangers in your daily life 

Resources mentioned for How We Can Find Tranquility by Tuesday

• Laura Vanderkam’s website
• Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters by Laura Vanderkam
• 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think by Laura Vanderkam
• The New Corner Office: How the Most Successful People Work from Home by Laura Vanderkam
• I Know How She Does It: How the Most Successful Women Make the Most of Their Time by Laura Vanderkam
• Off the Clock: Feel Less Busy While Getting Stuff Done by Laura Vanderkam

 

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Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

This week’s episode features a conversation with Angela Pruess, a licensed clinical therapist and mom of three who wants to help all parents raise emotionally healthy kids that will change the world, by explaining the he(art) and science behind our child’s development and emotional regulation.

For this episode, we focus on that elusive thing so many of us are trying to help develop in our kids, but can be very difficult to know exactly where to start and what we should expect over our child’s developmental timeline—self-regulation and emotional regulation.

Today we dive deep into what it is, why it’s an important skill for our kids to develop, the different ways we as parents and caregivers and teachers can support our kids in nurturing these skills, and more. 

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• What self-regulation / emotional regulation actually is and what it can look like when kids struggle with it
• Why self-regulation can be developed over time, even when the time line looks different
• How we might expect development of self-regulation to progress at different ages
• The importance of modelling self-regulation for our children
• How we can best support teachers in being our partners in developing our kids’ self-regulation
• How parents can most effectively do in supporting our kids in learning these skills
• Strategies for what to do when children are resistant to working on self-regulation
• Top tips for jump-starting our child’s self-regulation

 Resources mentioned

• Parents With Confidence
• Parents With Confidence on Facebook
• Children’s Mental Health Rocks on Facebook
• How to Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child That Will Succeed in Life
• How to Be the Best Parent to Your Emotionally Intense Child
• Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The One Mistake You Want to Avoid
• Emotional Intelligence Flashcard Bundle 
• Self-Reg: How to Help Your child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life by Stuart Shanker
• Dr. Ross Greene
• Dr. Dan Siegel’s hand model of the brain 
• 30 Games & Activities to Boost Self-Regulation
• Stop, Breathe, & Think App

Support the show

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• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

We are kicking off this season with a conversation with Dr. Stuart Shanker, who I first learned about through my friend Seth Perler as he’s been part of the TEFOS Summit. I love Stuart's message and recently devoured his book Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage With Life, and wanted to dive deeper with Stuart about it. In this episode, we get into the ways in which the brain controls the levels of stress, the difference between self-regulation and self-control, and the difference between stress behavior and misbehaving. Stuart also walks us through his 5 steps to Self-Reg, and talks about the power of us as parents and caregivers and educators doing our own self-reg work so we can support the kids around us.

 About Dr. Stuart Shanker

Dr. Stuart Shanker (D.Phil) is a Distinguished Research Professor Emeritus of Philosophy and Psychology, the Founder & Visionary of The MEHRIT Centre, Ltd., and Self-Reg Global Inc. One of his many books, Calm, Alert and Learning: Classroom Strategies for Self-Regulation (2012), is a top-selling educational publication in Canada. Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage With Life (2016), has garnered enthusiastic reviews and media attention throughout North America and has also been published in the United Kingdom, the United States, Poland, Germany, China, South Korea, Japan, the Netherlands, Georgia and the Czech Republic. His latest books are Self-Reg Schools: A Handbook for Educators (2019) and Reframed: Self-Reg for a Just Society (2020)

 Things you'll learn from this episode

• How the explosion of stress-related problems in recent years among children has augmented the need for additional self-reg resources for parents and educators
• How the brain controls the levels of stress and simple strategies that can be used to calm the nervous system response
• Why self-reg practices for parents and teachers other adults begin with learning how to regulate ourselves
• The difference between misbehavior and stress behavior
• How self-regulation mechanisms evolve as we get older
• The distinction between self-control and self-regulation and the five steps to self-regulation

Resources mentioned:

• The Mehrit Center / Dr. Stuart Shanker’s website
• Resource Library on Stuart’s website
• Self-Reg Online Learning & Certificate Programs
• Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life by Dr. Stuart Shanker
• Reframed: Self-Reg for a Just Society by Dr. Stuart Shanker
• Self-Reg Schools: A Handbook for Educators by Dr. Stuart Shanker and Dr. Susan Hopkins
• The Functional Neuroanatomy of Pleasure and Happiness (Overview of Olds and Milner study)
• Seth Perler’s website
• A “Masterclass” in Executive Functioning with Seth Perler, P

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• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
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The podcast is on hiatus this month, but I'm popping into your feed to let you know that the doors to my hands-on membership community, the Differently Wired Club, are open this week (September 26 - 30, 2022).

To learn more go to https://tiltparenting.com/club

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This is the third installment in a series of solocasts specifically about homeschooling 2e children. I know many families of 2e and differently wired kids end up going down the homeschooling road, whether they’re reluctant homeschoolers and they felt “forced” into the decision because they ran out of other options or whether they knew they would homeschool from the moment their child was born. Whatever the case, this episode is for you.

In this episode, I share how Asher and I structure our school, what kind of classes he takes, how I figure out what he’s going to focus on, and what a typical school day looks like for us. I wanted to talk about these things because I know that designing a curriculum can be one of the most overwhelming pieces of this puzzle.

A quick note: If you haven’t already done so, I encourage you to listen to the two other solocast episodes I’ve done on homeschooling 2e children. In Episode 42 I talk about how I made the decision to homeschool even though I had a LOT of resistance to the idea, and in Episode 48, I talk about the actual transition to homeschooling … basically how we survived that first rocky year.

Debbie Reber, MA, is a parenting activist, bestselling author, podcast host, and speaker who moved her career in a more personal direction in 2016 when she founded Tilt Parenting, a top resource for parents like her who are raising differently wired children. The TiLT Parenting Podcast has grown to be a top podcast in Kids & Family, with more than 4 million downloads and a slate of guests that includes high-profile thought leaders across the parenting and education space. A certified Positive Discipline trainer and a regular contributor to Psychology Today and ADDitude Magazine, Debbie’s newest book is Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World. In November 2018, she spoke at TEDxAmsterdam, delivering a talk entitled Why the Future Will Be Differently Wired. In the summer of 2020, she co-created the Parenting in Place Masterclass series.    

 

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• How Debbie has worked with curriculum advisors in designing the game plan for Asher’s classes
• The big role developing executive functioning skills plays in Asher’s curriculum
• Why Debbie believes freedom and flexibility is one of the biggest benefits of homeschooling
• How Debbie has incorporated outside curriculums into her school approach
• How Debbie supplements formal curriculum with videos, books, and experiential learning
• Debbie’s favorite resources for teaching, subject by subject
• What a typical school day looks like for Debbie and Asher
• Why Debbie believes it’s critical that Asher participate in the actual design of their schedule and curriculum

 

Resources mentioned for homeschooling 2e children

• Kathi Kearney (curriculum advisor classes)
• Kristi Helgeson (curriculum advisor)
• Gifted Homeschooler’s Forum
• Athena’s Advanced Academy
• Yoga with Adrienne (YouTube channel)
• Life of Fred

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Connect with Tilt Parenting

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To close out this Summer season I’m bringing you a special double episode all about college, specifically, how families can navigate the application process and what’s changed since Covid, as well as understanding the ways in which colleges may, or may not, support their neurodivergent students and what families should be looking for when exploring potential schools.

• How the college admission process has changed as a result of the COVID pandemic
• What it actually means when colleges declare they are “test-optional” or “test blind,” and how applicants should navigate decisions around submitting tests
• How the young adult mental health is impacting students’ performance in high school, and how prospective colleges are considering those dips
• What schools are doing to foster more diversity within their student body (race, gender, neurodiversity, etc.)
• Considerations surrounding whether or not a student should disclose their neurodivergence, disability, or other parts of their identities in their college application
• How some universities have added expanded their disability and mental health services on campus in response to student’s needs since the pandemic
• What fee-base

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In this special kid’s POV edition, Asher and I talk about having ADHD and goal setting, a topic near and dear to my heart, but also an issue we hear from parents about a lot. Asher is someone who always seems to have a lot of projects he’s working on and he sets often ambitious goals centered around those projects. Yet because of the way Ash is wired, he can often get distracted or derailed, which results in him being frustrated with himself.

I know a thing or two about goal setting — it’s actually the topic of a book I wrote for teen girls in 2015 called Doable, and so I am committed to using what I know about goals to help Asher learn how to successfully set and reach his own goals while also developing his planning, organizational, and time management skills. If you have kids with lots of ideas for things they’d like to do but seem to get stuck before they finish, or maybe even struggle to begin in the first place, this would be a good episode to listen to with them.

Debbie Reber is the founder and CEO of Tilt Parenting and the host of the TiLT Parenting Podcast. 11-year-old Asher is Debbie’s child and is regularly featured on the podcast. 

 

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• The connection between ADHD, executive functioning challenges, and goal planning
• Asher’s strategy for setting, measuring, and reaching goals
• How Asher uses both daily and weekly goal planning to keep him on track
• What typically derails Asher when he’s pursuing a goal
• The power of the daily check-in
• Asher’s tips for other kids looking to set and reach their personal goals

 

Resources mentioned for ADHD & goal setting

• Debbie’s book Doable: The Girls’ Guide to Accomplishing Just About Anything by Debbie Reber
• A Conversation with 11-year-old Asher About His Game-Changing Morning Routine (podcast)
• Understood.org
• Productivity Planner from Intelligent Change
• Download a copy of Asher’s Goal Planning Worksheet
• The Color Run (series of 5k races)

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• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
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Have you ever wondered if SEL (social and emotional learning) in school and classrooms really matters? I’ve been exploring this question a lot about over the past year, as well trying to understand the recent increase in parental and political pushback in the US specifically that is putting the future of SEL in schools at risk.  

I wanted to get into a deep conversation about SEL for the show, and so I reached out Dr. Joseph Lee, a psychiatrist with a special interest in social and emotional learning and helping people achieve what he calls optimal mental healthiness.

We had exactly the conversation I was hoping we would, as we got into so many important topics, including the state of children and young adult’s mental health today, demystifying what SEL or social emotional learning actually is, why SEL matters, how it’s best introduced in schools, the limitations in the current educational model for social emotional learning curriculums, what the pushback against SEL is really about, and what it’s at stake if our children aren’t provided with social and emotional learning opportunities. I think this is such an important and timely conversation – I hope that you enjoy it and that you help me amplify this episode by sharing it in your communities.

Dr. Joseph Lee, MD., is a Psychiatrist in private practice in Redondo Beach, California. He is also an educator in social and emotional learning (SEL) and provides individual and group supervision to licensed therapists looking to add mental healthiness and SEL principles to their own practices. Dr. Lee has a medical doctorate from University Of California, Los Angeles, School Of Medicine.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• What Joseph Lee is seeing in his practice regarding and his thoughts on the state of children and young adult’s mental health today
• What SEL or social emotional learning actually is
• Ways that SEL can be weaved into traditional educational curriculum as well as the use of specific SEL curriculum
• What social and emotional learning inside schools looks like in practice
• The “why” behind the pushback against SEL in the recent years and what’s it’s at stake if we lose the ability to teach SEL in classrooms

 Resources mentioned for SEL or Social and Emotional Learning

• Mental Healthiness / Dr. Joseph Lee’s website
• Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning
• Dr. Joseph Lee & Mental Healthiness on Facebook
• Dr. Joseph Lee on Twitter
• Daniel Goleman
• Emotional Intelligence: Why it Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman
• Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships by Daniel Goleman
• U.S. Surgeon General Issues Advisory on Youth Mental Health Crisis Further Exposed by COVID-19 Pandemic

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• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

In this episode of the Tilt Parenting Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Jenna Flowers, a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, and speaker, and the woman behind the fantastic new book, The Conscious Parent’s Guide to Coparenting: A Mindful Approach to Creating a Collaborative, Positive Parenting Plan.

Dr. Jenna’s book is aimed at helping parents who are no longer together design a healthy alliance and share their parenting responsibilities in a way that best supports their children. In our conversation, we talk about the extra considerations for those parenting differently-wired kids, kids for whom consistency and support is critical to their healthy emotional development. Dr. Jenna also explains how parents of atypical kids can foster a structured, supportive environment in both homes, as well as shares her advice for things parents can do right now to strengthen their relationship with their co-parent, whether together or apart. 

 Dr. Jenna Flowers is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Author, and Speaker.  She completed her undergraduate studies at  the University of Michigan.  She then graduated with her MA in Spiritual Psychology from the prestigious University of Santa Monica, and Doctoral Degree in Psychology from the professional psychology school American Behavioral Studies Institute. Upon completing her Marriage and Family Therapy licensing board examinations in 2006, she has been in private practice in Newport Beach, California. 

 

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• What exactly conscious coparenting is
• The importance of repairing hurts from our childhood in order to become more present with our own children
• How to help a child not take on responsibility or blame for their parents’ breakup
• What to do when both parents aren’t on the same page
• What a designed alliance with a coparent actually looks like

 

Resources mentioned for conscious coparenting

• Dr. Jenna Flowers’ personal website
• The Conscious Parent’s Guide to Coparenting by Dr. Jenna Flowers
• Brene Brown
• Samantha Ettus
• Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive by Dr. Dan Siegel
• Conscious Mothering Curriculum
• How Positive Discipline Can Help Children Thrive, with Casey O’Roarty of Joyful Courage (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• What it Takes to Live a Hea

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In this conversation with Outschool co-founder and CEO Amir Nathoo, we discuss alternative education models and why they’re so critical in preparing all kids for the future, as well as get an inside look into the mission and vision for Outschool, learn more about they successfully create community through virtual classes, ways in which classes are designed to support students with different learning styles and much more. 

If this conversation sparks you to explore and enroll in classs at Outschool classes, be sure to use the code TILT to get a $20 credit towards your first class. 

Amir Nathoo is CEO of Outschool, a marketplace for live online classes for K-12 learners. Amir worked at Square, leading the development of Square Payroll. Previously, he served as CEO and co-founder of Trigger.io, a development platform for creating native mobile apps. He holds an MEng in Electrical and Information Sciences from The University of Cambridge. Amir lives in San Francisco with his wife Kirsty and their two children.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• How Outschool grew through COVID and how online learning has changed in the past 2 years
• How alternative ways of learning are helping prepare our kids for the future
• The crucial part that community plays into Outschool’s platform and what they offer to families
• How Outschool supports different types of learners and why it has attracted neurodivergent learners from the start
• How Outschool finds and onboards teachers and how they develop their classes
• Amir’s tips for parents on vetting online learning programs to determine if they are right for your child/ren

Resources mentioned for Outschool and Online Learning

• Outschool
• Dr. Joseph Lee Talks About the Importance of SEL / Social and Emotional Learning (podcast episode)
• Dr. Joseph Lee
• How to Prepare Differently Wired Kids for an Uncharted Future
• Matt Barnes on Embracing a New 21st Century Learning Model 
• Nurturing Creativity to Help Children Thrive, with Terry Roberts 
• The G Word documentary

For more info, visit: https://www.tiltparenting.com/session302

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• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

My guest is Jessica Lahey, an educator, writer, and speaker, and the author of one of my favorite parenting books, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. Jess shares her insights about how we can best prepare our kids for an independent, successful adulthood in the way we practice autonomy supportive parenting versus overparenting, what it means to let our kids “fail” to help them thrive, how we can help our kids learn how to “sit with frustration,” and much more. 

 Jessica Lahey is an educator, writer, and speaker. She is an English and writing teacher, correspondent for the Atlantic, commentator for Vermont Public Radio, and writes the “Parent-Teacher Conference” column for the New York Times.  Jessica earned a B.A. in Comparative Literature from the University of Massachusetts and a J.D. with a concentration in juvenile and education law from the University of North Carolina School of Law. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband and two sons.
 

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• The difference between overparenting and “autonomy supportive parenting"
• How many parents underestimate their kids and might be unknowingly fostering learned helplessness in them
• How we can build scaffolding for our kids 
• What Jessica wishes parents of atypical kids knew about teachers
• Jessica’s advice for how we can best advocate for our kids in school
• How we can foster more of a growth mindset in our children, especially those who are perfectionist, as well as how to NOT foster “learned helplessness”

 
Resources mentioned about the gift of failure

• Jessica Lahey’s website
• The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed by Jessica Lahey
• Why Parents Need To Let Their Kids Fail (The Atlantic article)
• Dr. Ross Greene Talks About Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (podcast episode)
• The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous and Smart About Money by Ron Lieber
• Am Writing (Jessica’s podcast)
• The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by

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• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
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I haven’t done a solocast in a while, but when you talk, I listen, and this topic has been requested by many of you, so I decided to dedicate this episode to talk about navigating big life transitions with differently wired kids. Our family has gone through our fair share of big changes, which you’ll hear all about in this episode, so this is something that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about. Especially as a parent of a differently wired kid, I know that there are some extra challenges that might come up when their routines, environment, life circumstances, or supports change, and our kids are also more likely to be resistant to changes (even if they are beneficial). So today I’ll be sharing the strategies I’ve personally found helpful while going through big transitions with Asher. 

In this episode, I talk about key things such as why being honest when communicating with your kid is so important to help them understand and process change, how being vulnerable can be a way to show support, how to validate our kids’ feelings about the changes or transitions, and how to identify their concerns so you can make plans to address them in advance. I also share about what adjustment disorder is and the kind of extra support you might need during transitions. 

Tilt Parenting Founder & CEO Debbie Reber (MA) is a parenting activist, bestselling author, podcast host, and speaker. A certified Positive Discipline trainer and a regular contributor to Psychology Today and ADDitude Magazine, Debbie’s most recent book is Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World. Debbie’s Tilt Parenting Podcast is the top performing podcast for parents, caregivers, educators, and professionals raising and supporting neurodivergent children, and has more than 4 million downloads. In November 2018, she spoke at TEDxAmsterdam, delivering a talk entitled Why the Future Will Be Differently Wired. In the summer of 2020, she co-created the Parenting in Place Masterclass series.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• The benefits and growth that can come from navigating big changes as a family
• Why honesty is so important when communicating with your child about big changes
• What to share versus what not to share with your child about the transitions you go through
• How to validate the big emotions and thoughts that big transitions can bring up in your child
• The importance of doing your own work as a parent to be able to support our kids during transitions
• What adjustment disorder is and the extra support you might need to help your child through one
• How being vulnerable with your kids can be really supportive for them
• Identifying the concerns that our kids have and coming up with plans to address them in advance
• Creating new routines to create security for our kids during big transitions

 For more info, visit: https://www.tiltparenting.com/session301

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• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

In this episode of the TiLT Parenting Podcast, I talk with Samantha Ettus, a renowned work-life balance expert, author, radio show host, and media personality. Sam is passionate about helping people, and especially moms, find create a more fulfilled, healthier, and more satisfying life. She writes about her ideas in her new book The Pie Life: A Guilt Free Recipe for Success and Satisfaction.

I was excited to talk with Sam about her new book and ideas behind what she refers to as “embracing the mess and bumps” that come hand-in-hand with living a truly fulfilled life, since messiness and bumps seem to a part of any parent raising a differently-wired kid’s experience. In our conversation, we talk about everything from self-care and intentional parenting to getting our partners up to speed since often moms seem to be the ones holding onto a lot of the information relevant to our kids’ day-to-day life.

Samantha Ettus is a work-life expert whose goal is to find the spark within each one of us and turn it into a fire. She is a best-selling author, a writer for Forbes, a sought after speaker, a Harvard MBA, and host of a nationally syndicated call-in radio show. Sam has shared her advice on hundreds of television shows and media outlets including The TODAY Show, Access Hollywood, NBC Nightly News, CNN, The Doctors, and Fox and Friends, and in The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times and USA Today.

 

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• Why working moms are, in many ways, set up to fail
• Thoughts on being a more intentional parent, embracing empathy, and seeing our kids for who they are
• What’s reasonable to expect when designing a healthy, fulfilled life, and how to find work-life balance
• How to get your parenting partner on-board / up-to-speed on important matters related to our children
• Why self-care is so critical for mothers and how to build self-care practices into daily life
• Sam’s thoughts on juggling work and the unpredictable nature of raising a differently-wired kid

 

Resources mentioned for work-life balance + parenting

• Samantha Ettus’ website
• The Pie Life: A Guilt-Free Recipe for Success and Satisfaction by Samantha Ettus
• Sam’s Tedx Talk: The Secret to Unlocking a Child’s Potential
• Working Mom’s Lifestyle Radio Show

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Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

I wanted to have a frank and honest conversation with my friend, executive function coach, and frequent guest of the pod, Seth Perler, about what is and  is not working in schools right now, especially as we are once again in that back-to-school season. Of course there have been many changes in education since the start of COVID, including the inclusion of technology in almost every aspect of learning and the increased testing that students are being subjected to since returning to campus. And we know that neurodivergent kids tend to be impacted by these changes more than other students. So what can we do as parents? Where should we be putting our energies? That’s what Seth and I get into in this episode.

Seth Perler is an Executive Function Coach and Consultant with extensive experience addressing extraordinarily diverse learning needs. Seth was a teacher for 12 years, working with a diverse range of Gifted and Twice Exceptional (2E) students in charter schools for 8 years, and teaching students with ADD, ADHD, Dyslexia and other executive function challenges, as well as students with developmental disabilities. He’s been an Executive Function coach for middle, high school and college students since 2010.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• Seth’s opinion on what is working and what is not working in schools right now
• Advice on how to push back on the increase in testing that has started since students returned to in-person lessons
• What Seth would say to parents who have kids with ADHD who are checked out of their school day
• Ideas for getting educators on board in shifting the paradigm
• How to collaborate with a student who insists executive functioning strategies don’t actually work for them
• Practical strategies or ideas for parents who are dealing with that challenge of technology being useful but full of distractions and how to tailor the approach if a kid is showing resistance
• Seth’s thoughts on school refusal and children’s mental health

Resources mentioned for What Is / Isn't Working in School

• Seth Perler’s website
• Seth Perler’s YouTube Channel
• Introduction to Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory
• A “Masterclass” in Executive Functioning with Seth Perler, Part 1 (podcast episode)
• A “Masterclass” in Executive Functioning with Seth Perler, Part 2 (podcast episode)
• A Conversation with Executive Functioning Coach Seth Perler (original podcast episode)
• Seth Perler Talks to Asher About Resistance (podcast episode)
• Seth Perler on Helping Kids Work Through Resistance, Part 2 for Parents (podcast episode)

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• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

My guest is Kayce Stevens Hughlett, a psychotherapist, life coach, spiritual director, and speaker, and the author of three books. Kayce and I have been friends for many years, and she was a compassionate listener and empathetic friend as I was going through some of my most challenging years with Asher. At the time, Kayce was a few years ahead in her journey with her own differently wired son, who was in his early twenties.

I wanted to bring Kayce onto the show to talk about what she and her family went through when her son, as a young teen with an ADHD diagnosis, got involved with drugs. I know that this is a possibility many parents with atypical kids fear, and in fact some listeners may be in this very situation today. Hearing Kayce tell her story and share how she not only got through it, but how her family emerged on the other side more engaged and connected, is incredibly powerful. I hope you find her story as inspiring as I do.

 Kayce Stevens Hughlett started her writing career as a blogger in the early 2000’s and found her voice as a contributor to several collections and online publications. Now she is the author of three varied yet beautifully intertwined and popular books. Her 2012 nonfiction book, As I Lay Pondering: Daily Invitations To Live a Transformed Life, is a lyrical and lucid treasure that invites readers to new awakenings throughout the year. Blue: a novel, an award-winning study of three women in the Pacific Northwest, released September 10, 2015. Her journey memoir, SoulStroller: experiencing the weight, whispers, & wings of the world, was published in November 2018. 

 

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• Kayce’s story of being the mom of “that kid” in a time when being differently wired was less acceptable
• The importance of listening to our gut in conjunction with “experts”
• Why we want to always choose from a place of love (and not fear) when making parenting decisions
• The power of community to get through difficult times with our children
• Why Kayce says that parenting Jonathan through their challenges saved her life

 

Resources mentioned for ADHD and drug use

• Kayce Stevens Hughlett’s website
• SoulStroller: Experiencing the Weight, Whispers, & Wings of the World by Kayce Stevens Hughlett
• Blue: A Novel by Kayce Stevens Hughlett
• As I Lay Pondering: Daily Invitations To Live a Transformed Life by Kayce Stevens Hughlett

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Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

The neuropsych assessment process can be daunting and complicated to navigate, especially in recent years as a result of COVID,  so I’m excited to share my conversation with pediatric and adolescent young adult neuropsychologist, Dr. Jonine Nazar-Biesman. Jonine’s work is about taking into consideration the whole child and the big picture when assessments are being done. 

In this episode, we talk about what parents should think about when vetting psychologists to assess their child, the difference between a neuropsych, a psychoeducational, and a psychological assessment, and how parents can navigate getting a better assessment if they believe their child got the wrong diagnosis. We also talked about what to do with all the feedback parents get from an evaluation and how that feedback can best be relayed to our kids, and to their schools.

Dr. Jonine Nazar-Biesman has over 25 years of experience specializing in assessing and treating children, adolescents, and young adults with neurodevelopmental disorders such as Autism, ADHD, learning differences, and genetic conditions. She works closely with families, treatment teams, schools, and the community to ameliorate social-emotional, behavioral, and educational challenges.  

Things you'll learn from this episode

• What parents should think about when looking for someone to do an assessment for their child, as well as tips for vetting evaluators
• The difference between a neuropsych, a psychoeducational, and a psychological assessment
• How Jonine works with students and adjusts the evaluation process during the assessment in response to what she’s discovering
• How parents can navigate getting a better assessment if they believe their child got the wrong diagnosis
• Whether or not a neuropsych evaluation would benefit every neurodivergent child
• How feedback is ideally shared with parents, kids, and schools after an assessment has been completed
• How the COVID pandemic has impacted the assessment process
• How parents can best use the detailed feedback they receive as part of the neuropsych evaluation process

Resources Mentioned

• Jonine Nazar-Biesman’s website
• Jonine Nazar-Biesman’s blog
• Bridges Academy
• DIR/Floortime Model

 
For more info, visit: https://www.tiltparenting.com/session299

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• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

My guest this week is Steve Silberman, an award-winning science writer who authored the 2015 book NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity, a brilliant book that upends conventional thinking about autism and suggests a broader model for acceptance, understanding, and full participation in society for people who think differently. In our conversation, Steve and I talk about neurodivergence, autism, acceptance, tolerance, changing cultures, systemic change, and so much more. 

 Steve Silberman is an award-winning science writer whose articles have appeared in Wired, the New York Times, the New Yorker, the Financial Times, the Boston Globe, the MIT Technology Review, and more.and the author of NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity (Avery 2015), which Oliver Sacks called a “sweeping and penetrating history…presented with a rare sympathy and sensitivity.” In April 2016, Silberman gave the keynote speech at the United Nations for World Autism Awareness Day. He has given talks on the history of autism at Yale, Harvard, MIT, Oxford, the National Academy of Sciences, Queen Mary University, Apple, Microsoft, Google, the 92nd Street Y, Imperial College London, the MIND Institute at UC Davis, and many other major institutions. His TED talk, “The Forgotten History of Autism,” has been viewed more than a million times and translated into 25 languages.

 

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• The impetus for Steve’s book NeuroTribes
• How and why the anti-vaccine movement has negatively affected the autistic community
• The real impact of language like “epidemic” in relation to neurodifferences like autism
• How Steve’s book NeuroTribes has been received by members of the autistic community
• Steve’s thoughts on how parents raising neurodiverse kids can best support the neurodiversity movement
• The importance of autistic peer mentoring

 

Resources mentioned for Steve Silberman, autism, and neurodiversity

• Steve Silberman’s website
• NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity by Steve Silberman
• Steve Silberman’s TED Talk
• The Geek Syndrome (Steve’s article in Wired Magazine, 12/01/01)
• Autreat
• The Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism
• The Real Experts: Readings for Parents of Autistic Children

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Parenting a differently wired child can be challenging and as I sat down with my guest, clinical social worker Pat Harvey, to have this conversation, I wanted to acknowledge and validate the experiences we have as parents as much as we do the same for our kids. As you’ll hear from Pat, her work centers around helping parents navigate raising kids who have highly intense emotions …the kind of emotions that can cause big disruptions at home. 

In this conversation, Pat talks about her book Parenting a Teen Who has Intense Emotions, how she supports families using Dialectical Behavior Therapy or DBT, the three priorities within the DBT framework, some of the critical things to understand to effectively parent emotionally intense kids, and where to start if you are looking for more support for yourself. 

Pat Harvey, LCSW-C, ACSW, has been a clinical social worker for one 30 years, currently focusing on supporting and guiding parents of kids with emotional challenges using a DBT framework. The co-author of 2 books on parenting, Parenting a Child Who Has Intense Emotions and Parenting a Teen Who has Intense Emotions, a book for siblings and a book for clinicians, she has also spoken nationally and in Canada about DBT and about working with parents.

Things you'll learn from this episode:

• The similarities and differences between cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT)
• How DBT prioritizes the three core tenets of safety, treatment, and quality of life
• Why is DBT so effective in helping teens who are engaging in risky behaviors, including self-harm, suicidal ideation, or past suicide attempts
• Critical things to be aware of in order to effectively parent emotionally intense kids
• The biggest roadblock for parents that prevent them from leaning into DBT
• Where to start and the things to pay attention to if you are parenting an emotionally intense kid

 

Resources mentioned for DBT & Parenting Emotionally Intense Teens:

• Pat Harvey’s website
• Parenting a Teen Who has Intense Emotions: DBT Skills to Help Your Teen Navigate Emotional and Behavioral Challenges by Pat Harvey and Britt Rathbone
• Parenting a Child Who Has Intense Emotions: Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Help Your Child Regulate Emotional Outbursts and Aggressive Behaviors by Pat Harvey and Jeanine Penzo
• Hey, I'm Here Too!: A Book for Tween/Teen Siblings of a Young Person With Emotional Issues by Pat Harvey

 For more info, visit: https://www.tiltparenting.com/session298

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Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

My guest Scott Barry Kaufman PhD, a psychologist, author, and podcaster who is passionate about changing, or perhaps expanding, the way intelligence is defined and measured. In our conversation, we talk about his ideas about intelligence, potential, and what it actually takes for our children to develop into self-actualized adults. 

 Scott is a cognitive scientist and humanistic psychologist exploring the mind, creativity, and the depths of human potential. He is a professor at Columbia University and founder and director of the Center for the Science of Human Potential. Dr. Kaufman received a B.S. in psychology and human computer interaction from Carnegie Mellon, an M. Phil in experimental psychology from the University of Cambridge under a Gates Cambridge Scholarship, and a Ph.D. in cognitive psychology from Yale University. He is also an Honorary Principal Fellow at the University of Melbourne’s Centre for Wellbeing Science.

Dr. Kaufman hosts the The Psychology Podcast, and his writing has appeared in The Atlantic, Scientific American, Psychology Today, and Harvard Business Review. He is the author and editor of 9 books, including his latest book Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization.

 Things you’ll learn from this episode

• Why Scott believes traditional markers of intelligence are missing the mark
• The problem with assessing for “labels” instead a child’s highest strengths
• Scott’s thoughts on how we can create a better educational model
• Why potential in our children is a “moving target”
• How gifted education as a construct has a “fixed mindset”
• Scott’s ideas for expanding the definition of intelligence through a multiple manifestations of intelligence lens
• Why we should focus on self-actualization as opposed to excellence
• What qualities we should be helping our children develop to become self-actualized

 Resources mentioned for redefining giftedness

• Scott Barry Kaufman’s website
• Scott at Scientific American Magazine
• Scott’s podcast, The Psychology Podcast
• Ungifted: Intelligence Redefined by Scott Barry Kaufman
• Wired to Create: Unraveling the Mysteries of the Creative Mind by Scott Barry Kaufman
• Twice Exceptional: Supporting and Educating Bright and Creative Students with Learning Difficulties by Scott Barry Kaufman
• Scott’s TEDxZumbroRiver Talk: A New Theory of Hum

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

In this conversation with Jennifer Natalya Fink, we explore the nuances of her fascinating new book, All Our Families: Disability Lineage and the Future of Kinship. The premise of Jennifer’s book is that disability is often described as a tragedy, a crisis, or an aberration, even though more than 1 in 5 people worldwide have a disability. She wanted to explore the question: Why is this common human experience rendered exceptional? 

Instead, Jennifer is advocating for a reclamation of disability as a history, a culture, and an identity. She is pushing for a world where families see disability in the context of a collective sense of belonging, as cause for celebration, and is a call for a radical reimagining of carework and kinship. 

We went deep into this idea of a disability lineage, and Jennifer shared what’s at stake if we don’t know and claim our family history. We also discussed why getting a disability diagnosis can be traumatic for families and how it’s accentuated by how our society thinks about disability. Lastly, Jennifer shared her thoughts on making the care system more equitable by embracing disability as a collective experience rather than something individual families have to deal with.

 ***

Jennifer Natalya Fink is director of the Program in Disability Studies and a professor of English at Georgetown University. She is the author of 6 books and founder of the Gorilla Press, a nonprofit promoting youth literacy through bookmaking. Fink is the winner of the Dana Award for the Novel and the Catherine Doctorow Prize for Innovative Fiction, as well as a finalist for the Lambda Literary Award. First and foremost, she is a mother; the transformative experience of parenting her autistic daughter is the center of her work.

 

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• How Jennifer’s own family story led her to be interested in researching disability and disability lineage
• What a disability lineage is
• Why getting a disability diagnosis can be traumatic for families and how it’s accentuated by our society’s views of disability
• The importance of understanding that care and disability are woven into the human experience
• What we are losing out on by not knowing our family disability history as families raising differently wired kids
• How even good-intentioned comments can feed ableist beliefs
• How we can work to make the care system more equitable, including seeing disability as a collective experience rather than something families must face on an individual basis

 

Resources mentioned for Disability Lineage — What It Is and How it Impacts Families

• All Our Families: Disability Lineage and the Future of Kinship
• Jennifer Natayla Fink’s website
• Jennifer on Instagram
• Disability Studies at Georgetown University
• Mia Mingus

For more info, visit: https://www.tiltparenting.com/session297

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• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

My guest is Anders Ronnau, a master coach, hypnotherapist, trainer, and writer, and the ADHD coach behind the Transforming ADHD Movement. Anders is the leading ADHD coach in Denmark, and for the past seven years has been teaching both parenting programs and been an ADHD coach trainer. He recently launched his online community and business, Transforming ADHD.

Anders has a unique approach to working with his clients, who are anywhere from six years old to adults, and I was really intrigued to learn more about his work and find out what its implications are for our children. His focus is on development his client’s cognitive skills and behaviors to help them be better at managing their time, focus, and temperament, as well as rebuilding their self-worth.

 Anders Ronnau is fiercely committed to helping children, teenagers, and adults transform their ADHD through cognitive enhancement, and inspire them to become extra-ordinary with their unique gifts and talents. His focus is on developing his clients’ cognitive skills, in order to help them become better at managing their time, focus and temper, as well as rebuilding their self-worth. He works with clients from 6 years old and up. Only recently has he translated his work into English as articles, videos, and online courses. 

 

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• A look at whether or not positive behavior systems work in the long-term for kids with ADHD
• How to gain access to the inner world of a child
• How “externalization” helps change behavior and leads to transforming ADHD
• Why a differently-wired person’s inner negative self-talk is their biggest hurdle as they get older
• Ander’s tips for things parents can do at home to help their kids
• How the magic question—What were you trying to do?—allows us to reach out with curiosity instead of blame or anger

 

Resources mentioned for transforming ADHD

• Transforming ADHD (Ander’s website)
• Special TiLT page on Transforming ADHD
• Transforming ADHD on Facebook
• Transforming ADHD YouTube Channel

 

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• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

This week I'm talking about nonverbal learning disorder, also known as NLD or NVLD, with Dr. Marcia Eckerd. I learned so much from this conversation, including what NVLD actually is, examples of how it might show up in kids, and why it’s important to recognize if your child has NLD instead of thinking their behavior is the result of something else like ADHD or social anxiety. Marcia also shared how she works with families making sure the child’s self-esteem is taken into account and not making them feel they are less than others because they process things differently. 

Marcia Eckerd, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist with over 30 years’ experience. As a therapist and provider of neuropsychological evaluations, she identified and worked with many children with Non-Verbal Learning Disability. She serves on the CT Autism Spectrum Disorder Advisory Council and the professional advisory boards of SmartKidsWithLD and NeuroClastic.com, a nonprofit providing creative educational resources on autism. She has a regular blog on Psychology Today, “Everyday Neurodiversity” as well as writing professional articles on autism and articles for multiple websites and magazines on NVLD, autism, evaluations and executive functions, such as SmartKidsWithLD.org, Autism Parenting Magazine and Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism. She’s spoken extensively on NVLD and autism in national conferences for educators, clinical professionals and parents.A former Director of Clinical Programs at the New Learning Therapy Center, she also helped establish the Norwalk Hospital-Yale collaboration Pediatric Development and Therapy Center. She continues to be on the Associate Medical Staff at Norwalk Hospital.

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• How Marcia describes her work of being a “translator” between individuals with NVLD and the world around them
• What nonverbal learning disorder is and how it might show up in kids
• Why it’s so important to distinguish NVLD from things like autism, ADHD, or social anxiety
• Why prioritizing our kids’ self-esteem is so critical
• Why kids with NVLD might struggle when they get to middle school as their social and school life start to change
• The different executive functions that can be worked on alongside NVLD depending on what your child needs help with
• How to support your child with NVLD and the kind of support parents can look for

 

Resources mentioned for What is Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NVLD)

• Dr. Marcia Eckerd’s website
• Dr. Marcia’s blog on Psychology Today
• Are We Giving Autistic Children PTSD at School? 
• DSM / Social Communication Disorder
• Autism Level Up

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• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

This is a deep dive into the world of gifted and 2e children, with Dr. Mike Postma, a writer, consultant and presenter specializing in the education and well-being of twice exceptional and intellectually gifted students and their families. Mike is also the Executive Director of SENG, which stands for Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted, an organization whose mission it is to empower families and communities to guide gifted and talented individuals to reach their goals: intellectually, physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually, as well as the author of the new book, The Inconvenient Student: Critical Issues in the Identification and Education of Twice-Exceptional Students.

Mike and I talked about the challenges facing gifted and 2e / twice-exceptional students, especially social and emotional challenges, and this is one of those episodes that just might leave you feeling pensive, concerned, and ignited all at the same time.

Dr. Michael Postma is an educator, author, speaker, coach and consultant dedicated to the holistic development of the gifted/twice-exceptional (2e) community. Over the last two decades, Dr. Postma has served as a gifted teacher in the classroom, as an administrator and leader of gifted schools – both public and charter schools in multiple states, and was the architect of the Minnetonka Navigator Program, a magnet school in Minnesota specifically designed for highly gifted and twice-exceptional students. He currently is the President and co-founder of Gifted and Thriving, LLC .

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• Mike Postma’s personal story of growing up a gifted and 2e kid with very little support
• What “holistic development” means in the context of 2e children
• Why Mike says social emotional development has to be one of the foundations for academic and intellectual potential
• Where society is with regards to understanding asynchronous development
• How schools can make small accommodations to make school more successful for gifted and 2e students
• Mike thoughts on how the educational system needs to be revamped
• Why Mike says 2e people are among the most vulnerable populations

 

Resources mentioned for Dr. Mike Postma & Gifted and 2e Kids

• Dr. Michael Postma’s website, Gifted Matters
• SENG (Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted)
• SENG Online Support Group Listings
• The Inconvenient Student: Critical Issues in the Identification and Education of Twice-Exceptional Studentsby Dr. Michael Postma
• Dr. Devon MacEachron on Supporting 2e Learners (podcast episode)
• The Search for Shangri-La: Finding the Appropriate Educational Enviro

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• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

My guest for this conversation is Dr. Gwen Palafox, a psychologist who has been supporting disabled and neurodivergent young adults in the transition to adulthood for more than twenty years. I brought Gwen on the show to talk about helping our teens and young adults “launch” into adulthood, specifically how to prepare for and help them acquire the skills and support that would help them move into the version of independent living that’s right for them. In our conversation, we looked at some of the common challenges neurodivergent teens face in the transition to adulthood, how we can navigate systems and conversations with our kids to help them feel empowered and capable and have agency, and how to respond to our own concerns and fears about what comes next. 

Dr. Gwen Palafox is a licensed psychologist who has been actively (and obsessively) supporting disabled and neurodivergent individuals for over two decades. She’s known to be laser-focused on taking the guesswork out of adult preparedness, helping teens and young adults find their most fulfilled and joyful lives. She is honored to be a part of the lives of her wonderfully complex, unique, and awesome clients and their families. 

 Things you’ll learn from this episode

• The underlying philosophy for the way Gwen supports young adults
• The critical skills neurodivergent young adults need in order to launch successfully
• Examples of replacing automated support aids with self-management systems as a way to gain independence
• The power in engaging teens in small, daily chores as a way to shift responsibility and build skills
• How parents can support teens who are feeling scared and anxious about leaving home, especially in times of Covid
• The common challenges neurodivergent teens face when transitioning into adulthood
• How Gwen’s Bright Life System helps pinpoint the skills teens need to work on before leaving the school system

 Resources mentioned for a Neurodivergent Transition to Adulthood

• Dr. Gwen’s Meaningful Growth website
• Dr. Gwen’s YouTube Channel
• Dr. Gwen on Instagram
• Devon Price on Instagram
• The Bright Life System (use code TILT15 to get a 15 percent discount off this course)
• The Help Group (Sherman Oaks)
• Adulting Made Easy: Things Someone Should Have Told You About Getting Your Grown-Up Act Together by Amanda Morin
• SEL Framework

For more info, visit: https://www.tiltparenting.com/session295

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This weeks’ episode is a must-listen to if your child uses technology and screens of any sort and your spending energy managing your kids’ screen time. My guest this week is Dr. Devorah Heitner, an expert on young people’s relationship with digital media and technology. Devorah is the author of Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World and founder of Raising Digital Natives, and her mission is to cultivate a culture of empathy and social/emotional literacy. Devorah did a fascinating TEDx talk a few years back called The Challenges of Raising a Digital Native, which I highly recommend you check out.

Today Devorah and I talk about kids’ relationship with screens, everything from the specific challenges related to screens and technology for differently wired kids to how we as parents can start being effective mentors for our child when it comes to helping them develop healthy screen habits. I asked Devorah the big questions I hear all the time from parents, like how much time spent on screens is too much, does the type of activity ours kids are doing make a difference when setting limits, and much more.

An expert on young people’s relationship with digital media and technology, Dr. Devorah Heitner is the author of Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World and founder of Raising Digital Natives. Her mission is to cultivate a culture of empathy and social/emotional literacy.  She has a Ph.D. in Media/Technology & Society from Northwestern University and has taught at DePaul and Northwestern. She is delighted to be raising her own digital native.

 

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• Why it’s important that we focus on tech literacy in our kids rather than specific apps
• The most common challenges for differently wired kids when it comes to their relationship with technology and “managing” their screen time
• How we might use their skills and interest in tech to bridge into areas of strength
• The challenges stemming from schools’ increasing reliance on technology in a 1 to 1 capacity
• Whether or not there is true value in online or virtual social relationships
• Why our role as parents should be that of mentor when it comes to our child’s relationship with screens
• The difference between tech savvy and being wise about technology
• Why all screen media isn’t created equal—it’s important to discriminate between the way our kids use media
• How much “screen time” is too much?
• What are goals should be in helping our kids become wise technology consumers
• Strategies to start using to become a positive “screen” mentor for our children

 

Resources mentioned for managing kids’ screen time

• Raising Digital Natives (Devorah’s website)
• Phonewise Boot Camp 
• Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World by Dr. Devorah Heitner

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My guest today is Zach Morris, a semi-frequent guest of this show. I always love my conversations with Zach, so I was so happy to bring him back to talk about somatic therapy, and how this modality can be especially powerful in supporting differently wired kids struggling with anxiety and depression and recovering from both big and little T trauma. In our conversation, we get into the Polyvagal Theory, what somatic therapy is, what it looks like in practice with kids, the underlying power of somatic healing, and how it can help kids develop resilience, even in the face of stressful situations. 

 Zach Morris is a thought leader in education. He is committed to helping people increase compassion, collaboration, and learning. Zach supports individuals, families, and organizations who aim to develop a greater sense of safety and empowerment in themselves, in their relationships, and in their communities.

Gently guiding humans through the resistance they encounter is at the core of Zach’s work. He is inspired by the science of how people learn and change, and he aims to translate this to help individuals and communities improve awareness, communication, and structural support. Zach has 10+ years experience in the classroom, ranging from inner-city public school to rural therapeutic boarding school, and from non-traditional private school to individual co-op homeschool. Zach now serves as a learning consultant and communication coach, and he is most at home in the mountains of Montana, where he lives and works.

 
Things you’ll learn from this episode

• What Zach has been seeing among neurodivergent kids in response to the disruption of the past few years
• What the Polyvagal Theory is and how the sympathetic system works when our flight, freeze, fight, or fawn response is activated
• What “little t” traumas are and these may reflect the experience of many neurodivergent kids
• What somatic therapy is and how it helps kids foster and develop resilience around stressful situations
• Examples of what “discharging” looks like
• How we can help our kids begin connecting the dots between their feelings and their actions
• Why there is a relationship between neurodivergence and trauma, and how profound sensitive experiences makes one more open to somatic therapy

 

Resources mentioned for somatic therapy & kids

• Zach Morris’ education consulting and family support home, Alive at Learn
• The Center for Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg’s Global Organization)
• Educator Zach Morris on Supporting our Kids in Transforming Their World View (podcast episode)
• Nonviolent Communication, Whole-Person Learning, and Neurodiverse Students (podcast episode)
• Peter Levine
• Mona Delahooke on the Power of Brain-Body Parenting (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Dr. Ann-Louis

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In this special kid’s POV edition of the podcast, Asher and I share our best tips and strategies for making travel run more smoothly and having successful vacations with neurodivergent kids. As much as many families and their children may love going on vacation, the change in routine, different foods, shifting expectations, and new stimuli can even turn a trip to “The Happiest Place on Earth” (Disneyland) into one full of stress, anxiety, meltdowns, and other challenges. And while we know this rings true for pretty much any and every family, for parents raising differently wired kids, the extremes highs and lows can bigger.

In this episode, Asher and I share what we’ve learned over the years when it comes to making sure everyone’s needs and expectations on any given vacation are met, or at the very least, addressed, and walk listeners through the different schedules and planners we’ve we incorporated into our vacation prep. 

 

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• The benefits of talking through and getting clear on expectations (for all members of the family) prior to leaving for a vacation
• A strategy for using the collaborative problem solving approach to identify, address, and pre-solve concerns ahead of time
• How to make departure day go more smoothly
• The benefits of exploring and researching aspects of a vacation time well in advance of the trip (including accommodations, activities, etc.)
• A strategy for using written schedules coupled with frequent reviews during a vacation keeps everyone’s expectations in check
• The benefits of bringing a child into the planning process (and letting them determine some of what will happen on vacation)
• Why it’s useful to work with your child to discover what they need most on vacation and then incorporating it into your daily plan (ie: rest, chill time, etc.)

 

Resources mentioned for successful vacations with neurodivergent kids

• Download a PDF of our Family Goals Worksheet
• Download a PDF of our Vacation Concerns Worksheet
• Download a PDF of our Daily Vacation Planner Worksheet
• Look at our Departure Plan whiteboard

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• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Today’s episode is all about social skills, but from an updated lens that really speaks to the lived experiences of today’s kids. My guest is writer and journalist Catherine Newman, and we’re going to dive into her new book, What Can I Say? A Kids Guide to Super Useful Social Skills to Help You Get Along and Express Yourself.

What Can I Say is aimed at kids ages 10 and up, and it includes practical and accessible advice to help kids and teens learn social skills, including everything from introduce themselves, express empathy, be persuasive, and apologize to compromise, ask for help, be grateful, and comfort a friend.

In this conversation, Catherine and talk about why learning social and interpersonal skills are more important than ever for our kids, despite the fact that their lives are evolving to include more time spent online. We also talk about the climate for social emotional learning and ways parents and educators can to reinforce the social skills our kids are learning.

 Catherine Newman is the author of the memoirs Catastrophic Happiness and Waiting for Birdy, the middle-grade novel One Mixed-Up Night, the kids’ craft book Stitch Camp, the how-to books for kids How to Be a Person and What Can I Say? and the novel We All Want Impossible Things (forthcoming, Harper, November 2022). She edits the non-profit kids’ cooking magazine ChopChop, writes the etiquette column for Real Simple magazine, and is a regular contributor to the New York Times, O, The Oprah Magazine, Parents magazine, Cup of Jo, and many other publications. She lives in Amherst, Massachusetts, with her family.

 

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• Why it’s still important to learn social skills and interpersonal skills even though our kids’ lives are evolving to include more time spent online
• Why it’s important to spend time learning social skills just as we would learn any other type of skill like algebra or singing
• The importance of learning interpersonal skills that focus on empathy, setting boundaries, being curious, and being supportive and inclusive of people with different identities
• How OT can help neurodivergent kids grow up with advanced social emotional skills
• What parents and educators can do to support and reinforce the social skills they are learning

 

Resources mentioned for how kids can learn social skills

• Catherine Newman’s website
• Catherine on Instagram
• What Can I Say? A Kids’ Guide to Super Useful Social Skills to Help You Get Along and Express Yourself by Catherine Newman
• How to Be a Person: 65 Hugely Useful, Super-Important Skills to Learn before You’re Grown Up by Catherine Newman

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• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Margaret Webb helps parents find more peace in parenting the child they didn’t expect when they were expecting, and part of her work is supporting parents survive summer break. Many parents (and not just parents raising differently-wired kids) limp across the finish line of a long school year only to find themselves facing the stress of summer — new schedules and routines, different expectations, wants, and needs for everyone in the family, and lots of other changes.

In our conversation, Margaret shares her personal strategy for not only surviving summer break, but thriving. She walks us through her Summer Survival Skills Package, a free toolkit comprised of MP3s and worksheets designed to help struggling parents have a summer that works for the whole family.

Margaret Webb is a certified Master Life Coach, parenting coach, nature-based coach, former teacher, wife and mother. As a life and parenting coach, she weaves together her experience as an elementary education teacher with the tools she’s learned in Martha Beck’s Life Coach Training, Sagefire Institute’s Nature-Based Coach Training, and what she’s applied to her own life as a mom of a child with special needs.

 

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• How “reality versus expectations” creates unnecessary stress for many parents over the summer
• Why having “leadership energy” as a parent can help a family thrive
• The importance of getting clear on both your personal needs as a parent and your child’s needs and wants for the summer break
• What scheduling, mapping, and tracking have to do with surviving summer holidays
• How focusing on our own experience and fostering personal self-care actually supports our children
• Why nature can be so restorative for parents raising differently-wired kids
• How to envision your ideal day as a way to begin creating a more peaceful reality

 

Resources mentioned for surviving summer break 

• Margaret Webb’s Summer Survival Skills Package — download link
• The Families That Can’t Afford Summer – New York Times article
• Finding Peace in Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect – Tilt Parenting Podcast Episode 1​

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Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
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This week I'm talking about Dr. Devon Price, a social psychologist, professor, author, and proud autistic person, and the author of the new book, Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity.  In this conversation, Devon and I talk about what masking is, what it looks like, and whether it is something that autistic people choose to do or not. We also talk about why masking is more complex for people of color, the relationship between masking and gender, and what integration looks like for a neurodivergent person. 

Devon Price, PhD, is a social psychologist, professor, author, and proud Autistic person. He is the author of Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity. His research has appeared in journals such as the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, and the Journal of Positive Psychology. Devon’s writing has appeared in outlets such as the Financial Times, HuffPost, Slate, Jacobin, Business Insider, LitHub, and on PBS and NPR. He lives in Chicago, where he serves as an assistant professor at Loyola University Chicago’s School of Continuing and Professional Studies.

 

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• What “masking” is, what it looks like, and why most often it’s not a conscious choice
• Why the decision to mask or not mask is more complex for autistic people of color
• Devon’s thoughts on the recent explosion of neurodivergent kids coming out as trans and the relationship between masking and gender
• Devon’s take on ABA therapy and alternatives ways of supporting autistic kids
• Considerations regarding language in the neurodivergent and disability community
• What integration is and what it looks like for a neurodivergent person
• Strategies for ways parents can help their autistic children move through the world more authentically without masking
• How Devon see our society currently changing in neurodivergence awareness and inclusion

 

Resources mentioned for Unmasking Autism

• Devon Price on Medium
• Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price, PhD
• Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price, PhD
• Devon Price on Instagram
• Devon Price on Twitter
• We’re Not Broken: Changing the Autism Conversation by Eric Garcia
• How Unmasking Leads to Freedom for Autistic and Other Neurodivergent People (NPR Life Kit Interview)
• Autism in Black / Maria Davis Pierre
• Autistics Against Curing Autism
• Autistic Self-Advocacy Network
• Fidgets and Friends / Tiffany Hammond on Instagram
• Queer Vengeance

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• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
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The podcast is on hiatus this month, but I'm popping in your feed to let you know that the doors to my  high-touch membership community, the Differently Wired Club, are open this week only (May 23 through May 27 at midnight PT). 

To learn more, go to: https://tiltparenting.com/club 

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• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
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Learning specialist Elizabeth Hamblet talks about the transition to college for a differently-wired student and how we can help atypical kids be successful before, during, and after this transition. Visit the show notes at: https://tiltparenting.com/session89

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Mom, writer, and advocate Laura Jackson talks about her new book Discovering Dyscalculia and how families struggling with this math disability can move from confusion and overwhelm to understanding and connection.

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session291

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Dr. Devon MacEachron talks about twice-exceptional or 2e learners—the challenges of identifying them, why finding a good school fit is difficult, and how parents can use a strengths-based approach to help them thrive. 

For more information, visit the show notes page at https://tiltparenting.com/session55

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Child and adolescent psychotherapist, parenting educator, public speaker, and writer Katie Hurley, LCSW, talks about supporting stressed out kids and adolescents, and the current state of kids' and teens' mental health. 

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session290

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Psychologist and author Dr. Dan Peters explores what parenting with purpose and intention looks like, explains how it benefits children, and walks us through his Parent Footprint Awareness Training. Learn more at https://tiltparenting.com/session116

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Pediatric psychologist and parent coach Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart talks about trauma and generational cycles, and offers ideas for why and how to break harmful cycles to help children and families heal.

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session289

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Casey O'Roarty of Joyful Courage shares what's at the core of the Positive Discipline parenting philosophy and describes why children thrive when treated with respect, firmness, and kindness.

To learn more, visit the show notes at: https://tiltparenting.com/session20

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Author, child anxiety and OCD therapist, and founder of AT Parenting Survival Natasha Daniels talks about the way anxiety and OCD show up in children, and how parents can best support children who are struggling.

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session288

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In this special kid’s POV edition, 12-year-old Asher talks with Debbie about what it's like to live with ADHD. 

For more information, see the show notes page at: https://tiltparenting.com/session33

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Pediatric sleep coach Macall Gordon talks about why "livewire" children struggle so much with sleep, and shares her best practices for supporting healthier sleep habits in kids.

For more info, visit: https://www.tiltparenting.com/session287

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Psychologist Karen Young, founder of the popular website Hey Sigmund, talks about anxiety in kids—what it looks like, what to do about it, and how to explain what's happening to our kids. Visit the show notes at https://tiltparenting.com/session84

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16-year-old, autistic college student Jordan O'Kelley shares his personal story of growing up twice-exceptional, learning how to advocate for himself, and helping raise awareness and understanding for other 2e kids.

For more info, visit: https://www.tiltparenting.com/session286

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Parent educator and Montessori instructor Simone Davies shares her strategies for staying calm and cool in difficult moments, including public meltdowns. 

For more information about this episode, including accessing the show notes, visit https://tiltparenting.com/session8

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Psychologist, speaker, and author Dr. Mona Delahooke talks about her new book Brain-Body Parenting, and the power in understanding and responding to children's complicated behavior as a symptom rather than a problem.

For more info, visit: https://www.tiltparenting.com/session285

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Author and parent educator Katherine Lewis talks about her new book "The Good News About Bad Behavior" and the relationship between behavior, lagging skills, and opportunities for growth.

Visit the show notes page at https://tiltparenting.com/session111

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Speaker, author, and advocate of Bridges Academy and host of the Crucial Conversations series Maria Kennedy talks about best practices for supporting twice-exceptional students in schools, advocating in traditional educational models, and more. 

For more info, visit: https://www.tiltparenting.com/session284

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Author Celi Trepanier of the Gifted Homeschooler's Forum talks about why the needs of gifted children are often not met in traditional education, and explains why homeschooling can be a great solution. Visit the show notes at https://tiltparenting.com/session50

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Matt Barnes, Co-Founder and Parent Coach at The Education Game, inspires parents to embrace a new learning model that deemphasizes grades and academic compliance and emphasizes learning, problem-solving, and engagement.

For more info, visit: https://www.tiltparenting.com/session283

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Author and human behavior expert Alfie Kohn talks about what it means to parent unconditionally and explains the downsides of parenting with rewards, punishments, and other approaches aimed at behavior modification.

For more information, visit the show notes at https://tiltparenting.com/session131

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Author and founder of the Big Minds educational model Dr. Melanie Hayes talks about her new book for 2e and 2eA adults, Being Twice Exceptional, and what it will take for 2e and 2eA people to thrive. 

For more info, visit: https://www.tiltparenting.com/session282

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Psychiatrist, author, and speaker Dr. Gail Saltz talks about her new book "The Power of Different" and the connection between neurodiversity and strengths. Learn more at https://tiltparenting.com/session82

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Music and brain scientist turned multimedia creative Dr. Christine Koh talks about ways we as parents can intentionally tend to our own mental and emotional well-being during challenging times.

For more info, visit: https://www.tiltparenting.com/session281

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In this special kid's POV edition, I share a short conversation I had with my 11-year-old son Asher about FRUSTRATION. Being easily frustrated is an issue many differently-wired kids deal with on a regular basis, and it can lead to challenging situations in the classroom and at home. For this episode, Asher and I examine what happened on a day when he made a mistake on an art project. 

For more info, visit the show notes at https://tiltparenting.com/session6

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Pediatric and occupational therapist Rosemary White explains the philosophy behind DIR / Floortime as a powerful modality to support children's sensory, motor, and social / emotional development.

For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session280

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Dr. Ross Greene, author of "The Explosive Child," explains how parents can tap into the power and benefits of collaboratively problem solving with their differently-wired kids. 

For more information, visit the shows note page at https://tiltparenting.com/session81

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Author, parent coach, and social worker Cathy Adams talks about her new book, Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World, and the importance of parents doing their own deep inner work.

For more info, visit: https://www.tiltparenting.com/session279

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Author, scholar, professional learning trainer, and equity activist Dr. Joy Lawson Davis talks about culturally responsive teaching, supporting black, gifted students, equity and access in Gifted Education programs, and meeting the needs of diverse gifted learners with multiple exceptionalities.

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session278

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Parenting Coach Margaret Webb joins me to share her insights and strategies for how parents can navigate the sometimes tricky dynamic between our family of differently-wired kids and extended family who may not understand. 

For more information, visit the show notes page at https://tiltparenting.com/session40

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AuTeach founder Robin Roscigno, an autism researcher, scholar, speaker, and TikTok sensation, talks about the Autism Industrial Complex, the trauma of restraints and seclusion, and respectful approaches to neurodiversity-informed intervention.

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session277

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Carol Kranowitz, the author of "The Out-of-Sync Child," explains what sensory processing disorder (SPD) is and shares how parents can support kids with sensory issues.

For more information, visit the show notes page at https://tiltparenting.com/session76

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Educator and learning advocate Heather Clarke talks about dismantling ableism in schools, advocating for neurodivergent learners in school, and shifting toward Universal Design in mainstream education.

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session276

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A conversation with author, child development expert, and media personality Dr. Robyn Silverman on helping our differently wired children develop their character and recognize their strengths.

Visit the show notes page at https://tiltparenting.com/session61

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Dr. Edward (Ned) Hallowell, world authority on ADHD, talks about his new book ADHD 2.0, new approaches to managing ADHD, and the benefits of focusing on the strengths that come with the diagnosis.

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session275

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A conversation with organizational guru Lisa Viscardi about the ways we can create clarity in our environment and spaces in order to bring more peace and clarity into our day-to-day lives.

To learn more, visit the show notes at https://tiltparenting.com/session65

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Emily Kircher-Morris, a licensed professional counselor, specialist in helping gifted and twice-exceptional kids, and host of The Neurodiversity Podcast, talks about destigmatizing neurodiversity and how to support twice exceptional children. 

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session274

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This short episode features a conversation between me and 11-year-old Asher about the topic of distraction. Asher shares  insights on what getting distracted feels like and the strategies they use to stay on task. 

If you enjoyed this episode, get the show notes and more at https://tiltparenting.com/session3

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New York Times' bestselling author Katherine May (Wintering) talks about her new book, The Electricity of Every Living Thing, about her journey of discovering her identity as an autistic woman.

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session273

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Debbie talks with life coach and educator Kanesha Baynard about how parents of differently wired kids can nurture positive multigenerational relationships with their own parents and parents in-law.

For more information, see the show notes at: https://tiltparenting.com/session34

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Behavioral optometrist and children’s vision expert Dr. Juanita Collier talks about vision-related learning difficulties, and racial disparities in school vision care and its academic impact on children of color.

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session272

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Dr. Devon MacEachron talks about twice-exceptional or 2e learners—the challenges of identifying them, why finding a good school fit is difficult, and how parents can use a strengths-based approach to help them thrive. For more information, visit the show notes page at http://www.tiltparenting.com/session55

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Clinical psychologist and researcher on giftedness Dr. Matt Zakreski talks about suicide, suicidal ideation, and suicide prevention, with special consideration to unique needs of neurodivergent children and teens and the Covid 19 pandemic. 

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session271

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Emmy-nominated preschool show creator Angela Santomero talks about the unique ways that educational programming can support the development of social and emotional skills in differently wired kids. 

For more information, visit https://tiltparenting.com/session 10

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Academic coach and author of The Disintegrating Student, Jeannine Jannot, Ph.D., shares insights on why previously high performing students might fall apart and offers strategies for building skills and resilience.

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session270

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In this special solocast, I talk about my experience during our first transition year from traditional education to homeschooling, and share the strategies that helped me get through it.  

For more information, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session48

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Clinical child and family psychologist Dr. Laura Anderson returns to the podcast for a deep nuanced conversation about raising neurodivergent children who are trans, nonbinary, or otherwise gender noncomforming.

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session269

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In this special solocast, I share my personal story of why I was so reluctant to homeschool Asher and what brought me to a point where i ultimately decided to give it a try. 

For more information, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session42

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Global advocate, educator, disabled person of color, non-binary woman, and parent of children on the autism spectrum Morénike Giwa Onaiwu talks about the intersectionality of gender, race, and neurodivergence, her own autism diagnosis as an adult, and more. 

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session268

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Educator and school co-founder Zach Morris talks about what it takes to support our differently wired children in transforming their world-view and positively shifting their mindset. For more information, visit https://tiltparenting.com/session105

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Phyllis Fagell, a K-8 school counselor in Washington, DC, a psychotherapist, and the author of Middle School Matters, shares her insights and strategies for supporting students as they navigate this Fall's return to school in unusual times.

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session267

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Performance poet and advocate LeDerick Horne talks about his journey with  a hidden disability, his advocacy work, and how he found his love for poetry.

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session266

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Clinical psychologist Dr Eli Lebowitz talks about his new book "Breaking Free of Childhood Anxiety and OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents."

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session265

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Frequent guest of the show and executive function coach Seth Perler talks with Debbie about what parents (and educators) should prioritize as students return to school, executive functioning considerations, and more.

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session264

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Psychologist turned family coach Dr. Lynyetta Willis talks about navigating the complex feelings that parents might experience in the wake of their child's diagnosis. 

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session263

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Clinical psychologist / child development expert Madeline Levine, PhD, on her new book, "Ready or Not Preparing Our Kids to Thrive in an Uncertain and Rapidly Changing World," pandemic parenting, and how to support our kids' resilience moving forward.

For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session262

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Neuropsychologist William Stixrud PhD and Ned Johnson talk about their new book, "What Do You Say? How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home."

For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session261

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Dr. Jenn Noble, a licensed psychologist, teen parent coach, and associate professor of psychology, talks about identity, intersectionality, supporting mixed race kids, and teen mental health.

For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session260

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Cathy and Todd Adams, the husband and wife team behind Zen Parenting Radio, talk about showing up in partnership for our children, the gifts of growth and vulnerability, and how to foster deeper alignment with our parenting partners, even in the face of challenges.

For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session259

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"Educator, social worker, and mother of two differently wired children Stephanie Malia Krauss talks about her new book, Making It: What Today’s Kids Need for Tomorrow’s World," and how parents can prepare children for an uncharted future.

For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session258

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Parent educator and author Julie King, talks about her new book, How to Talk When Kids Won't Listen (co-authored with Joanna Faber), and answers questions from the Tilt Parenting community.

For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session257

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Therapist Kate McNulty talks about her book Practical Strategies To Help Couples Understand Each Other and Strengthen Their Connection, mixed neuro-type co-parents, and embracing her own autistic identity as an adult.

For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session256

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Social justice advocate, blogger, and podcaster Amber Coleman-Mortley (Mom of All Capes) talks about her work elevating diverse voices and perspectives in the civic education space, working with students and educators for more equitable outcomes, and how parents can raise civically-minded kids.

For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session255

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Neuroscientist, author, meditation teacher, and speaker on topics of neurodiversity, neurodevelopment, creativity, mental health, and wellness Dr. Nicole Tetreault, talks about her new book about the twice-exceptional experience, Insight Into a Bright Mind.

For more info, visit:  https://tiltparenting.com/session254

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Learning disability / ADHD / education advocate, speaker, and author Jonathan Mooney (Normal Sucks, The. Short Bus, Learning Outside the Lines) talks about his mission to reframe neurodivergence and eliminate the pursuit of "normalcy."

For more info, visit:  https://tiltparenting.com/session253

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If you've been considering joining Debbie's Differently Wired Club but aren't sure if it's right for you, please join me for a live informational Zoom call this Thursday. I'll be walking through how it works, what it looks like, and what to expect, as well as answering your questions. I'll send out the recording for people who can't attend live. 

Doors to the Club will be open May 24 -28.

Learn more at https://tiltparenting.com/club 

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Janet Allison, founder of Boys Alive!, speaker, author, educator, and family coach, talks about how parents and caregivers can support the emotional lives of boys.

For more info, visit:  https://tiltparenting.com/session252

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Multiracial (Chinese/Irish) autistic neurodiversity rights advocate Ashia Ray talks about her Raising Luminaries movement and Books For Littles — a resource for finding children’s picture books to discuss hard topics.

For more info, visit:  https://tiltparenting.com/session251

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Executive Functioning Coach Seth Perler shares his ideas for Shifting the Parenting Paradigm in this bonus mini-episode for Tilt's 5-Year Anniversary.

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Debbie Reber Hosts a Special Episode Celebrating 5 Years of Tilt Parenting

For more info: visit https://tiltparenting.com/session250

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Teacher, author, speaker, and mom Jessica Lahey (The Gift of Failure) shares her newest book about kids, drugs, and alcohol, The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence.

For more info, visit:  https://tiltparenting.com/session249

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Author, speaker, and activist Julie Lythcott-Haims (How to Raise an Adult) takes us inside her powerful, inclusive new book, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult.

For more info, visit:  https://tiltparenting.com/session248

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Dr. Jody Carrington, a clinical psychologist who has spent most of her career working with children and families who have experienced trauma, talks about her work supporting educators, parents, and caregivers in showing up for and supporting all children.

For more info, visit:  https://tiltparenting.com/session247

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Veteran prosecutor, father to three sons, and former troubled teen Jonathan Cristall talks about his new book What They Don't Teach Teens: Life Safety Skills for Teens and the Adults Who Care for Them. 

For more info, visit:  https://tiltparenting.com/session246

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Dr. Marsha Brown, a licensed psychologist with specializations in forensic and clinical psychology, talks about mental health, stress management in families and among caregivers and emergency response workers, and law enforcement education surrounding neurodivergence.

For more info, visit:  https://tiltparenting.com/session245

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Educational psychologist, best-selling author, and TODAY show contributor Dr. Michele Borba talks about her brand new book "Thrivers" about what it takes to raise resilient kids in an anxious world (and in a pandemic).

For more info, visit:  https://tiltparenting.com/session244

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Tilt Parenting founder and host Debbie Reber answers listeners questions about remote learning, emotional regulation, finding peace in the chaos, and more.

For more info, visit:  https://tiltparenting.com/session243

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Dr. Roberto Olivardia, a Clinical Instructor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School, talks about the prevalence of neurodivergent boys  with eating disorders and body image challenges. 

For more info, visit:  https://tiltparenting.com/session242

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Mercedes Samudio, LCSW, parent coach, speaker, author, and founder of the Diversity in Parenting Conference, shares insights and strategies surrounding "shame-proofing" our parenting.

For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session241

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Writer, public speaker and LCSW Heather Boorman (The Fringy Bit) talks about how parents can support their gifted and 2e children's social, emotional, and intellectual needs through the pandemic.

For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session240

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Dr. Aliza Pressman, developmental psychologist, parent educator, asst. clinical professor, and co-founder of Mount Sinai Parenting Center, talks about supporting kids through and out of the pandemic, with a focus on building their resiliency.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session239Support the show

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Dr. Rebecca Branstetter of The Thriving School Psychologist Collective shares strategies for ways parents can support their differently wired children, and themselves, during this unusual holiday pandemic season.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session238Support the show

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Autism scholar and author of Uniquely Human, Dr. Barry Prizant, and autistic humorist and author Dave Finch (The Journal of Best Practices) tell us about their respective books and take us behind the scenes of their new podcast, Uniquely Human. For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session237Support the show

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Sex educator Amy Lang of Birds + Bees + Kids talks about the new challenges for keeping kids safe online in a time of remote learning, and how to handle talking about online porn at every age.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session236Support the show

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Advocate Micki Boas talks about her new book "One in Five: How We're Fighting for Our Dyslexic Kids in a System That's Failing Them" and shares insight, data, hard-won experience about supporting dyslexic kids.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session235Support the show

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Journalist, author, and college admissions coach David Marcus shares insights on what's better and more challenging for differently wired students navigating the college application/admissions process during Covid-19, as well as strategies for moving forward.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session234Support the show

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Rupa Mehta, the founder of the Nalini Method and NaliniKIDS, talks about the importance of social-emotional learning, her Subject of Self Subject curriculum, and the importance of mind-body connection for SEL. For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session233Support the show

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Education Attorney Catherine Michael talks about navigating IEPs, 504s, and advocating for support and accommodations during remote and hybrid learning due to Covid-19.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session232Support the show

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Dr. Kristin Neff, pioneering self-compassion researcher, author, and teacher, talks about the power and benefits of practicing self-compassion as parents to differently wired children.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session231Support the show

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Author and licensed mental health counselor Janine Halloran talks about coping skills for kids—what they are, how they regulate emotions, and how to support kids (and teens) in tapping into their power.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session230Support the show

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Author, speaker, and learning facilitator Lisa Van Gemert (Perfectionism) explores perfectionism in children — where it stems from, what it looks like, and how to support kids in learning how to manage it.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session229Support the show

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Understood's Amanda Morin and Bob Cunningham walk us through Take N.O.T.E., a new free digital tool aimed at helping families identify early signs of learning disabilities and ADHD.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session228Support the show

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Author and behavior consultant Amelia Bowler talks about her new book, The Parents' Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder, what ODD is (and isn't), how it's diagnosed, and how to support kids with this profile.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session227Support the show

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Licensed mental health counselor and activist Maria Davis-Pierre (founder of Autism in Black) talks about her work to bring awareness to autism spectrum disorder and reducing the stigma associated with ASD in the black community.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session226Support the show

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Internationally recognized ADHD/Executive Function expert Brendan Mahan shares parenting hacks for raising kids with ADHD, and breaks down the "Wall of Awful" (and how our kids can overcome it).For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session225Support the show

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Parent coach Sheryl Stoller shares the ABCs of getting grounded, centered, and reintegrated, so parents can best support their children during this challenging time of Covid and back-to-school.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session224Support the show

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Author, youth advocate, and co-founder of PEN (Parent Education Network) Dewey Rosetti talks about her new book, "Bright Kids Who Struggle in School" and teaching from a strengths-based approach.For more information, visit www.tiltparenting.com/session223Support the show

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Cherina Williams, a pediatric speech and language pathologist, podcast host of “I’ve Got this Kid,” and homeschooling parent, talks about the process and best practices for families navigating early identification of neurodivergence.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session222Support the show

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Fitness instructor, ADHD counselor, and author Gabriel Villarreal talks about how exercise is "medicine" for kids with ADHD, ASD, and more, and how to get kids motivated to exercise.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session221Support the show

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Parent coach, Washington Post columnist, and author of "Parenting Outside the Lines" Meghan Leahy talks about embracing imperfection and vulnerability in our parenting lives.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session220Support the show

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Author Ann Douglas ("Parenting Through the Storm") talks with Debbie about negative stigmas—why they exist, how they're perpetuated, what they do to us and our kids, and most importantly, what we can do to combat them. Learn more and find the show notes here: https://tiltparenting.com/session219Support the show

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Debbie and her husband Derin have an honest, open, and vulnerable conversation about their (up and down) journey as a couple navigating parenting a differently-wired child. Learn more at https://tiltparenting.com/session218Support the show

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A conversation with the author of "The Gift of Maybe," Allison Carmen, about what happens when parents raising differently-wired kids let go of their need for certainty and embrace the possibility of "maybe."Support the show

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Dr. Ellen Braaten describes slow processing speed in children—what it is and how it shows up—and gives her insights on how parents (and teachers) can best support kids for whom this is a challenge.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/sessionSupport the show

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Author, speaker, and coach Dr. Christine Carter talks about her most recent book, "The New Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction."For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session215Support the show

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Licensed family therapist and international consultant on high sensitivity Alane Freund explains what high sensitivity is, how it shows up in children, teens, and adults, and gives her insights on how parents can help a highly sensitive child flourish.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session214

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Child psychologist Dr. Abigail Gerwirtz talks about her new book, When the World Feels Like a Scary Place: Essential Conversations for Anxious Parents and Worried Kids, and provides insights on talking to kids at Covid-19, racism, and more.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session213Support the show

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Author and changemaker Courtney Macavinta (The Respect Institute) explains why differently-wired kids are especially vulnerable to the “school to prison pipeline,” and how we can make respect the status quo.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session 212Support the show

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Clinical psychologist and co-developer of Emotion-Focused Family Therapy (EFFT), Dr. Adele Lafrance, talks about her new book, What to Say to Kids When Nothing Seems to Work, a practical guide for parents and caregivers. For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/sessionSupport the show

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Dr. Roberto Olivardia, a Clinical Instructor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School, talks about the relationship between ADHD and sleep challenges, and offers strategies for children struggling with sleep.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session210Support the show

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Author, speaker, and self-directed learning advocate Blake Boles talks about unschooling in the time of Covid-19 and his new book, "Why Are You Still Sending Your Kids to School."For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session209Support the show

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Neuroscientist and researcher Dr. Nicole Tetreault talks about tending to the social and emotional needs of differently wired children who may experience trauma as a result of socially isolating during the Covid-19 pandemic.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session208Support the show

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Psychotherapist and author Dr. Tina Payne Bryson talks about her new book (co-written with Dr. Dan Siegel) "The Power of Showing Up," why kids need a secure attachment, the role of self-compassion for parents, and much more.Support the show

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Amanda Morin, an author, speaker, parent advocate, former early childhood educator and in-house expert for Understood, talks the importance and power of fostering empathy in our children.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session206Support the show

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Jennifer Cook O'Toole, an author, speaker, and one of the autism world's prominent women, talks about her Asperkids book series, what it means to be a female on the spectrum, labels, and more.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session205Support the show

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Debbie talks with singer and songwriter Laurie Berkner (The Laurie Berkner Band) about writing music that connects with all kids, why Laurie's music so powerfully resonates with differently wired children, her mission of inclusivity, and more. For more info, visit: https://tiltparenting.com/session204

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Dr. Chris Kearney, Professor of clinical child psychology at UNLV and director of the UNLV Child School Refusal and Anxiety Disorders Clinic talks about the assessment and treatment of youths with school refusal behavior.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session203Support the show

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In this audio replay of a Facebook live, host Debbie Reber talks with Seth Perler about executive functioning priorities and considerations during the coronavirus pandemic.Support the show

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Author, psychologist, and Summit Center executive director Dr. Dan Peters talks about how we can best support differently wired teens and prepare them to successfully launch.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session202Support the show

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Tilt Parenting host Debbie Reber shares thoughts and ideas for contemplation surrounding parenting differently wired children through the coronavirus pandemic.Support the show

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Amanda Stern, author of the memoir "Little Panic: Dispatches from an Anxious Life," shares her story of growing up with an undiagnosed and unsupported panic disorder.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session201Support the show

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Adolescent eating disorder psychotherapists Zoë Bisbing and Leslie Bloch of the Full Bloom Project talk about how to help kids maintain healthy, normal relationships with food and their bodies and create a family culture of body positivity.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session200Support the show

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Authors Julie Lythcott-Haims, Dr. Cara Natterson, Lori Gottlieb, Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, Katherine Reynolds Lewis and Deborah Reber give advice on parenting in the coronavirus era. As college students head home from campus and school-age children lobby for playdates, how can parents hold the line when it comes to recommended social distancing? Is there such a thing as a reasonable playdate? What steps jeopardize your household or the country? How many days can any of us expect to hold out against a whiny, cooped-up tween? The panelists offered practical advice to parents about what to say to children of all ages to explain the risks, the family’s need for safety, and our responsibility as members of the community.Support the show

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Mindfulness and parenting coach Hunter Clarke-Fields (Mindful Mama Mentor) talks about her new book "Raising Good Humans" and the ways mindfulness can allow parents to respond to challenges with more grace and peace.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session199

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In this reverse interview, Debbie Steinberg-Kuntz of Bright & Quirky talks to Debbie about how to forge a path when school isn't working out.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session198Support the show

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Educator, homeschooling mom, and founder of Lemon Lime Adventures Dayna Abraham discusses sensory processing challenges, being a differently wired parent, and her four-step approach parents can use to go from chaos to calm.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session197Support the show

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Speech-language pathologist and audiologist Dr. Donna Geffner explains what central auditory processing disorders are and discusses approaches to best supports and accommodations.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session196Support the show

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Author, educator, child development expert Dr. Becky Bailey talks about her Conscious Discipline model of safety, connection and problem-solving to nurture children's social and emotional learning.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session195

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Educator, blogger, and community activist Jason B. Allen shares his ideas for how traditional school environments need to change to better serve differently wired black students and, in particular, black and brown boys.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session194

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Writer, filmmaker, and creative director Chris Baier talks about raising a daughter with OCD and the film their journey inspired him to produce, UNSTUCK, an award-winning short that explains OCD through the eyes of young people.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session193Support the show

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Clinical neuropsychologist Dr. Karen Wilson shares her best practices about the transition of differently wired children from preschool (or no school at all) into elementary school, including special considerations, vetting schools for fit, red-shirting practices, and more.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session192Support the show

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Harry Thompson, a PDA emmisary and author of The Paradigm Paradox, talks about his personal journey on the autism spectrum with a PDA profile, and addresses some listener questions about PDA.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session191Support the show

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Big Minds micro-school founder Dr. Melanie Hayes shares her story of starting a school for twice-exceptional learners, and discusses ways 2e students' needs can be met in traditional educational settings.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session190

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Host Debbie Reber shares a brief, personal message to close out 2019.Support the show

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Educator and author Terry Roberts, PhD, discusses his new book "The New Smart: How Nurturing Creativity Will Help Children Thrive," and shares his ideas surrounding the future of work, what the education model is getting wrong and why it needs to change, and more.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session188

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Executive functioning coach and former teacher Seth Perler joins Debbie for an honest conversation about what isn't working in today's schools for differently wired children. Note: This episode is designed for both parents and educators.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session187

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Children's picture book author / illustrator Samantha Cotterill discusses her new book series, Little Senses, which highlights the experience of children with sensory issues or ASD, and also shares her own journey of growing up as a girl on the spectrum.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session186Support the show

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Eileen Devine, a neurobehavioral therapist and support coach, discusses supporting children with brain-based neurodevelopmental challenges resulting from pre-natal exposure to drugs or alcohol, as well as the unique challenges for adoptive parents raising atypical children.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session185Support the show

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Wendy Besmann, founder and creative content director of Get There Project and the mother of a son with autism and bipolar disorder, shares her Family Road Map—a step-by-step guide for how families raising differently wired children can more successfully navigate health, insurance, and education systems.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session184Support the show

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Nutritionist Jess Sherman shares ideas for how parents can bring more nourishment into their children’s lives, including, or maybe especially those with food sensitivities, picky or aggressive behavior.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session183Support the show

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Autism and neurodiversity support specialist Kristy Forbes (InTune Pathways) talks about her personal journey, as well as how parents can best support, see, and embrace their neurodivergent, demand-avoidant children.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session182

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Educator and school co-founder Zach Morris shares his insights on how we can emotionally support children through difficult periods, including challenges relating to school anxiety and more.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session181

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Marriage and family therapist, licensed psychotherapist, and author Susan Stiffelman talks about her book Parenting Without Power Struggles and shares strategies for staying calm in the midst of conflict with our children.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session180Support the show

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Gwen Vogelgang and her 12-year-old son Rylan talk about their new book, "If I Squeeze Your Head I'm Sorry," which allow readers to enter the brain of a child who sees, feels, and understands the world from a refreshingly unique perspective.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session179Support the show

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Dr. Stacy Hawthorne and Dr. Jessica Potts of The Davidson Institute talk about the unique needs for profoundly gifted children and share insights on how to support their intellectual and social/emotional development.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session178

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Clinical psychologist, life coach, and author Dr. John Duffy talks about his new book, "Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety" and shares insights for how parents raising teens can be the emotional support they need and crave.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session177

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Dr. Jill Emanuele, senior director of the Mood Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute, talks about how parents can best support their children who are struggling in the dynamic with their sibling.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session176Support the show

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Creativity coach, speaker, and author Kathryn Haydon talks about the benefits of bringing more creativity into our parenting lives raising differently wired kids.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session175Support the show

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Academic, teacher, and writer Victoria Biggs shares her experience growing up as an autistic, dyspraxic child and explains how parents can support their similarly wired children.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session174Support the show

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Dr. Melissa Neff talks about PDA (pathological demand avoidance)—how it's defined, how it presents, and how parents can support kids who struggle with demands being placed on them.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session173

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Second grade teacher Becca Wertheim, who works at an inclusion school in North Carolina, shares insight for parents looking for better support and communication with the teachers in their children's lives.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session172

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Debbie talks with cultural changemaker, author, and entrepreneur Jess Weiner about how to become successful advocates to best support our differently-wired kids.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session171

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Amanda Morin of Understood joins Debbie for a special back-to-school episode to help families prepare for easing into the coming school year with as much confidence and serenity as possible.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session170

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Author, speaker, and podcaster Colleen Kessler (Raising LIfelong Learners) talks about how to approach homeschooling gifted and twice-exceptional children.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session169

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Sherri Cawn, a leading practitioner of the DIR/Floortime® model in speech and language development, explores characteristics, assessment, intervention of communication disorders in children.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session168Support the show

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Dr. Rita Eichenstein, author of "Not What I Expected: Help and Hope for Parents of Atypical Children," talks about how parents can process the discovery that their child is neurodivergent.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session167Support the show

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Dr. Allie Ticktin, a licensed occupational therapist with a specialty in sensory integration and early childhood development, talks about how to tap into the power of play to support a child's learning and development.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session166Support the show

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Debbie talks with four differently wired adults who share their stories of discovering and/or learn more about their own neurodivergence as a result of parenting their differently wired children.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session165Support the show

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Licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Melissa Neff talks about the unique challenges for adults who discover their own neurodivergence as a result of going through the diagnostic process with their children.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session164Support the show

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Development pediatrician Dr. Mark Bertin talks about his new book How Children Thrive: The Practical Science of Raising Independent, Resilient, and Happy Kids, as well as resilience in our kids and the benefits of mindful parenting.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session163

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Camp director Audrey Monke talks about her book Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults, as well as how we can set our kids up for successful summer camp experiences.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session162Support the show

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Strategic learning assessment psychologist Dr. Devon MacEachron provides ideas for next steps for parents after receiving a diagnosis for their child.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session161Support the show

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Speaker and author Jonathan Oliver shares his personal story of being a differently wired (ADHD and dyslexia), stay-at-home father of two children.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session160

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Flex School founder Jacqui Byrne shares her vision for creating powerful learning communities for gifted and 2e students through her unique educational model.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session159

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Neuropsychologist William Stixrud PhD and Ned Johnson talk about their gamechanging book "The Self-Driven Child" and explain the importance of supporting our child's sense of control and autonomy.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session158

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Eric Karlan, co-founder of test prep, college essay, and application coaching company The Ivy Experience shares strategies for how differently wired students can strengthen their university applications.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session157

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Are you worried about your child’s video gaming habits? If so, here’s interesting conversation with Eric Lanigan about two topics that I know are relevant, and perhaps concerning, to many listeners out there — video gaming and motivation. I reached out to Eric after learning about an online course he runs for parents called Making Peace with Gaming, because I was curious to know just exactly how we do that, and what that actually means in the context of everyday life with kids who are really into gaming. What I love about this conversation is it went so much deeper than video gaming and into the heart of the emotional lives of our children. I found our conversation to be highly thought-provoking—I hope you get a lot out of it.

Eric Lanigan is a Motivation Coach who has helped hundreds of people to get clear on what they want -and then do it. He guides his clients in directing their attention inwards instead of blaming themselves or external events. A former video game addict himself, Eric offers an intimate view of the world of compulsive gaming. Eric has delivered dozens of workshops on emotional intelligence, motivation, and procrastination. His online course, The Big Shift, has served over 750 people from more than 15 countries.

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• Why many children get so deeply involved in their video game worlds
• The emotional payoff many children get from engaging in games
• Eric’s ideas around how parents can respect and understand their child’s video gaming
• The connection between motivation and gaming, and what parents miss when considering these
• Why Eric says the problem isn’t the games themselves but the way we relate to the games
• The biggest fears and concerns parents have surrounding their child’s gaming
• Eric’s thoughts on parents legislating their children’s gaming and how rewards and punishments associated with gaming may be counterproductive / result in the opposite desired outcome

 

Resources mentioned for parents worried about their child’s video gaming

• Eric Lanigan’s website
• Making Peace with Gaming online course*
• The Big Shift online course
• Blake Boles
• A Conversation with Blake Boles on Unschooling and Self-Directed Learning (podcast episode)
• Asher Talks About the Pros and Cons of Banning Video Games (podcast episode)
• Eric on Facebook

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Dr. Manju Banerjee, VP of Educational Research and Innovation at Landmark College, talks about Landmark's vision for helping neurodivergent students thrive in college and in their careers.For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session155

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Pediatric psychologist and author Mona Delahooke talks about her new book "Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children's Behavioral Challenges."For more info, visit: www.tiltparenting.com/session154

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• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
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