Sex Chat for Christian Wives

By Bonny Burns, Gaye Christmus, J Parker, and Chris Taylor

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Description

Four Christian wives encourage other wives to enjoy God’s gift of sex in all of its awesomeness by presenting a biblical view, practical tips, and engaging discussion about godly sexual intimacy.

Episode Date
Best of Summer 2022, Chris's Pick
29:39

About this episode

We understand the struggle wives often have with their body image and how it affects their sexuality. Today we want to revisit this topic to discuss how we can finally embrace our bodies and get comfortable being naked with our husbands.

  • Why is having a positive body image such a challenge for women?
  • What can we do to combat messages that make us feel worse about ourselves?
  • Do we have any responsibility to take care of our bodies?
  • Despite how we feel about ourselves, most husbands find their wives beautiful. But what about the wife whose husband criticizes her appearance?
  • What advice from your own journey would you give to help a wife embrace a positive body image?

rom the Bible

What does God have to say about body image?

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

Psalm 139:13-14

Resources

Aug 09, 2022
Best of Summer 2022, Gaye's Pick
25:15

About this episode

Today we’re talking about something that most women are thinking about at this time of year — taking better care of our health. If you’re like us, you’re probably thinking about getting in shape, eating a healthier diet, getting more sleep, or losing some weight over the next few months.

And your reasons, like ours, are probably pretty straightforward — you want to look better. You want to feel better. You want to have more energy. And you want to avoid getting sick.

But there’s a bonus reason for taking care of your health that you may not know about — improving your sex life.

So let’s talk about some of the ways that good health can lead to better sex and intimacy in your marriage.

From the Bible

What does God have to say about this?

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies," 1 Corinthians 6:19-20.

Resources

Sponsor

Jul 26, 2022
Best of Summer 2022: J's Pick
35:55

Today we’re talking about higher desire wives. But whether your sexual interest is higher or lower than your husband, you’ll benefit from our conversation.

Sponsor

Learn more HERE.

From the Bible

What does God have to say about higher desire wives?

  • “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:3-4).
  • “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:8-9).
  • “Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom— there I will give you my love” (Song of Songs 7:12).
  • “All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves” (Song of Songs 3:1-2).

Resources

  • FREE 30-day trial!

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Jul 12, 2022
How to Talk to Your Husband About Sex
30:44

We’ve talked a lot on this podcast about being able to discuss sex with your husband. And even have "more than one conversation," which is Gaye’s trademark advice. But today, we want to walk through the specifics. Whether it’s actually for small changes, an overhaul of your sex life, or something in between, how can you talk to your husband about sex?

Sponsor

Get your copy of Pillow Talk today!

From the Bible

Gracious words are a honeycomb,
  sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Proverbs 16:24

My dove in the clefts of the rock,
  in the hiding places on the mountainside,
show me your face,
  let me hear your voice;
for your voice is sweet,
  and your face is lovely.
Song of Songs 2:14

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Jun 28, 2022
The Orgasm Iceberg
28:48

When God created women, He gave us an amazing gift—the clitoris! Its only purpose is our sexual pleasure, but many of us don’t know too much about this part of our body. In this episode, we’re going to help you learn about the wonderful clitoris.

Sponsor

Learn more about Venus Pearls!

From the Bible

For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
Psalm 139:13-14

Resources

Amphis, CC SA 1.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Jun 15, 2022
Simplify Summer for Better Sex
20:21

About this episode

In summertime, the living is supposed to be easy, but we often find it just as stressful and scheduled as the rest of the year is. In this episode we talk about simplifying your summer in ways that can improve your sex life.

From the Bible

Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind. Ecclesiastes 4:6

So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun. Ecclesiastes 8:15

Resources

Webinars

May 31, 2022
Listener Questions - Answered!
33:28

About this episode

Bonny and Chris answer questions about older kids knowing that their parents are having sex, responding to a husband's struggle with pornography, and discerning what is okay in the bedroom.

Sponsor

From the Bible

Matthew 5:28 - But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Song of Solomon 2:3 - Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste.

Song of Solomon 4:16 - Awake, north wind, and come, south wind! Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread everywhere. Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.

Ephesians 6:11-15 - Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.

Resources

The Joy of Earbuds | The Forgiven Wife

Q&A with J: Avoiding Sex Because the Kids Can Hear - Hot, Holy & Humorous

5 Reasons to Stop Using Porn...Now - Hot, Holy & Humorous

Samson Society

Hope for Wives podcast

Beggar's Daughter

SheRecovery

May 19, 2022
Non-Sexual Ways to Increase Intimacy in Your Marriage
27:12

About this episode

You probably know from your own marriage, or from observing other marriages, that non-sexual interactions can make or break a marriage. Today, we talk about why this is true and how we can leverage it to benefit our marriages.

Sponsors

Use coupon code SC10 for 10% off!

This episode was also sponsored in part by Married Dance, a Christian-owned store for marital aids and sex toys.

From the Bible

Greet one another with a holy kiss. - 2 Corinthians 13:12

Resources

May 03, 2022
Foundations of Sexual Intimacy
37:10

Our listeners have varied experiences, and some may value knowing some basic principles from a physical and emotional perspective. So today, we're getting back to the foundations of sexual intimacy, including what we wish we'd known going into marriage.

Sponsor

Check out our special offer for women-owned businesses.

From the Bible

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22–23

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. Galatians 5:13

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

Greet one another with a kiss of love. Peace to all of you who are in Christ. 1 Peter 5:14

And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. 1 John 3:23

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4–7

Song of Songs (the mutuality and intimacy of sex in marriage)

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive. 1 Corinthians 10:23

Resources

includes affiliate links

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Apr 19, 2022
Flirting with Your Husband, with Lisa Jacobson and Phylicia Masonheimer
36:25

With Bonny out again, we’re down one wife today, but we’ve invited not one but two other wives to join us at today’s virtual kitchen table. We’re so happy to have Lisa Jacobson and Phylicia Masonheimer, co-authors of The Flirtation Experiment, with us to discuss how flirting with your husband can lead to greater intimacy in marriage and the bedroom. Be sure to check out their book!

Sponsor

This episode was sponsored by Venus Pearls, from Burns Logsdon Therapeutics.

This episode is also sponsored by Married Dance.

From the Bible

What does the Bible say about flirting?

You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;
you have stolen my heart
with one glance of your eyes,
with one jewel of your necklace.
Song of Songs 4:9

His mouth is sweetness itself;
    he is altogether lovely.
This is my beloved, this is my friend,
    daughters of Jerusalem.
Song of Songs 5:16

And the rest of Song of Songs!

Resources

(includes affiliate links)

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Apr 06, 2022
Is Your Sex Life Boring?
24:27
Mar 22, 2022
Is Sex a Need?
30:18

Have you heard it said that sex is a need? We have too. Quite a few people talk about how a spouse can and should meet their mate’s sexual needs. Today we’re addressing that underlying assumption: Is sex a need?

Sponsor

This episode is sponsored by Strong Wives - Bonny Burns' Coaching Site.

Also sponsored by Married Dance, a Christian, marriage-focused sex toy store.

From the Bible

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:19

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Mar 09, 2022
Touching Yourself, Sex Just for Fun & Erectile Problems (Answering Listener Questions)
21:26

About this episode

In this episode, we're responding to questions from listeners about touching yourself during sex, whether it's okay to have sex just for fun sometimes, and why a young husband might struggle to maintain an erection.

This episode is sponsored by Strong Wives - Bonny Burns' Coaching Site.

From the Bible

A cheerful heart is good medicine... ~ Proverbs 17:22a

Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise. ~ Jeremiah 17:14

Resources

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is getfaithful.com_forchristianwives.com_-1024x1024.pngThis image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is getfaithful.com_forchristianwives.com_-1024x1024.png

 

Feb 23, 2022
Our 5th Anniversary Episode (with bloopers!)
26:31

When we started podcasting in February 2017, we didn't know whether we'd get through one year, much less five years. But here we are, celebrating this amazing milestone with a bit of reminiscing, some bloopers, and our wishes and hopes for our fabulous listeners! 

Sponsor

Visit Married Dance Shop

From the Bible

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. - Proverbs 31:25

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Feb 08, 2022
Self-Care for Wives
29:16

About this episode

This is a time of year when a lot of people are talking about taking better care of themselves—things like eating healthier, starting to exercise, getting more sleep, setting goals, or setting boundaries in their lives. But self-care, even though it sounds like a good thing, can be a touchy subject in some Christian circles. Let’s talk about self-care and what role—if any—it should play in the lives of Christian women.

  1. What is self-care? What does that term mean to you?
  2. Should Christians practice self-care? Did Jesus practice self-care, and what does the Bible say about it?
  3. What kinds of self-care should we engage in? What kinds of activities are likely to promote real joy, peace, and health in our lives? What kinds of activities are unlikely or less likely to promote those things?
  4. What is something you’re doing to practice self-care this year, and what would you say to our listeners to encourage them to take care of their bodies, minds, spirits, and relationships this year?

Sponsor

Subscribe to their Position of the Week Newsletter at PositionOfTheWeek.com.

This episode was also sponsored in part by Share the Soap. Be sure to sign up for their newsletter to be notified of upcoming promotions.

From the Bible

"I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint." Jeremiah 31:25

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Genesis 2:2

And while they still did not believe it because of joy and amazement, he asked them, “Do you have anything here to eat?” They gave him a piece of broiled fish, and he took it and ate it in their presence. Luke 24:41-43

One day Jesus said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side of the lake.” So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. Luke 8:22-23

But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42

So Miriam was confined outside the camp for seven days, and the people did not move on till she was brought back. Numbers 12:15

So I commended enjoyment, because a man has nothing better under the sun than to eat, drink, and be merry; for this will remain with him in his labor all the days of his life which God gives him under the sun. Ecclesiastes 8:15

Resources

Affiliate notice: This post contains affiliate links, meaning that our ministry receives a small commission with each purchase made through the link that helps cover our costs

Jan 26, 2022
New Year, New Sexual You
29:48

We’re back! It was an eventful December and early January for us and will share what we have been doing.

Today, we’re talking about a new sexual you. What does that mean? What does it look like? And how can you achieve it?

  1. What does it mean to have a new sexual you? Are we saying just more sex or something else?
  2. What would it look like to make goals for improving sexuality? What kinds of goals can wives set for themselves and their marriage?
  3. Once you’ve set some goals, how can you track your progress? What even counts as progress?
  4. Let’s wrap up with each of us giving our listeners a word of encouragement. What would you like to say to wives wanting this to be the year they embrace healthy and holy sexuality?

Sponsor

New Year Sale: Save 13% storewide using coupon 2022!

Click HERE to visit Married Dance.

From the Bible

"Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." Hebrews 12:14-15.

"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners." Isaiah 61:1.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT)

How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!
    People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast on the abundance of your house;
    you give them drink from your river of delights.
For with you is the fountain of life;
    in your light we see light.
Psalm 36:7-9

Resources

Affiliate notice: This post contains affiliate links, meaning that our ministry receives a small commission with each purchase made through the link that helps cover our costs.

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Jan 11, 2022
Our Holiday Gift Guide - Sexy and Romantic Gifts for Couples
21:17

About this episode

We can’t leave off the year without providing another wonderful gift guide! We’ll link to others in the show notes, but today we’re focusing on gifts that speak not only to marital intimacy but specifically our five senses.

This idea made us think of the song "Twelve Days of Christmas"! Instead of five golden rings, we’re addressing our five golden senses.

Sponsor

Also sponsored by Share the Soap.

And by Strong Wives.

From the Bible

What does the Bible say about gift-giving?

Later on, during the wheat harvest, Samson took a young goat as a gift and visited his wife. – Judges 15:1 (Do not—I repeat, do NOT let your husband give you a goat for Christmas! Good heavens. ~ J)

"They were to be days of feasting, rejoicing, and of sending gifts to one another and to the poor." – Esther 9:22b. (This verse refers to Purim, but shows the same generous spirit we want to have at Christmastime.)

Resources

Some of the links below are affiliates, meaning that the price remains the same for you, but we receive a small commission if you purchase through the link. These commissions help us to defer our costs. Thanks!

Sight

Smell

Taste

Hearing

Touch

Nov 24, 2021
10 Best Things About Sex
24:05

What are the best things about sex? We compiled a list of ten and hope it will inspire you to pursue better and deeper intimacy in your marriage.

Sponsor

Black Friday sale: 13% off store-wide!

Visit Married Dance HERE.

Also check out Make My Own Soap!
Use coupon code 10off for $10 off the one-pound loaf starter kit.
Use coupon code 20off for $20 off the LOAF starter kit.

From the Bible

What does the Bible say about the best things about sex?

I belong to my beloved,
  and his desire is for me.
– Song of Songs 7:10

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. – Ephesians 5:31-32

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:24-25

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Nov 09, 2021
Sex Is For You Too
30:57

We want you to understand that sex is for you too! This is an idea we discuss frequently in our episodes, but today it is our focus.

  1. Why do we even need to have this conversation?
  2. Why do so many women struggle with the idea that sex is for them?
  3. Is it okay for sex sometimes to be primarily for one spouse? If so, when and how would that work?
  4. What can you actually do to make sex for you as well?

Sponsor

Use coupon code 10off for $10 off the one-pound loaf starter kit.

Use coupon code 20off for $20 off the LOAF starter kit.

Click here to visit the sponsor.

From the Bible

What does the Bible say about sex being for you too?

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you—
    if you find my beloved,
what will you tell him?
    Tell him I am faint with love.
– Song of Songs 5:18

Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside,
    let us spend the night in the villages.
Let us go early to the vineyards
    to see if the vines have budded,
if their blossoms have opened,
    and if the pomegranates are in bloom—
    there I will give you my love.
The mandrakes send out their fragrance,
    and at our door is every delicacy,
both new and old,
    that I have stored up for you, my beloved.
–Song of Songs 7:11-13

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. – Ephesians 5:31-32

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Oct 27, 2021
Prayer and Sex
23:46

About this episode

1 Thessalonians 5 tells us to rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances. Today we're going to talk about what this means in relation to sex. How can we pray about sex or during sex?

  1. Some wives may think it seems a little weird to be thinking about prayer and sex. Why is that?
  2. What does the Bible say about prayer and sex?
  3. How can we help ourselves get more comfortable talking to God when it comes to sex?
  4. What are some ways we can pray ABOUT sex?
  5. What can we pray about DURING sex?

Sponsor

Enter discount code FCWSPECIAL for 10% off!

From the Bible

He

I came to my garden, my sister, my bride,
    I gathered my myrrh with my spice,
    I ate my honeycomb with my honey,
    I drank my wine with my milk.

Others

Eat, friends, drink,
    and be drunk with love!

~ Song of Songs 5:1

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:6–7

Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. ~ James 5:13

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ~ James 1:5

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. ~ Thessalonians 5:16-17

Resources

Oct 13, 2021
On Fantasy, Focus & Feeling Betrayed (Listener Questions)
24:20

We are down one host with Chris out today, but Gaye, Bonny, and I are here to answer your questions. If you have a question that you’d like us to address, head to our website, click the Ask a Question tab, and shoot us an email.

While we cannot respond to all of your questions, we try to cover a lot of ground and answer what we can. Be sure to go back through our older episodes as well to see if we might have covered a topic you’re wondering about.

  1. "[My husband] continues to look at other women and images that are so easily available outside our home. My question is; Am I wrong to be upset by this habit? Are my expectations too high? How do I learn to trust when I feel so betrayed when I see him look? Do I need counseling to truly move past this?"
  2. "My husband and I have a great sex life… The problem is that I want sex with him AND I fantasize about other men too.” AND “I have struggled in that last few years with other men popping into my mind during sex… I sometimes just don’t know how to handle a quiet mind so random thing will try to steal my attention/make noise in my mind. Wondering how I can enhance my intimacy with mental focus."
  3. "I am definitely the lower drive spouse and I think it’s mostly because I have so much trouble getting turned on. It takes sooo long and we don’t have a lot of extra time with our toddler around. I am struggling the most with talking with my husband during sex… I feel like I’m grasping at that turned on feeling and any little thing pulls me out of it. My husband is very very kind, patient and wanting to do what I need but I feel like I can’t quite do it and I feel like I’m letting him down. I want sex to be good but I can’t get the communication thing down. Any tips?"

Sponsor

Visit the site: sharethesoap.com
Discount Code: FCWSPECIAL 10% off!

From the Bible

But they delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night. - Psalm 1:2 (NLT)

I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. - Song of Songs 7:10
 
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine. - Song of Songs 1:2
 
His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me. - Song of Songs 2:6, 8:3
 
Resources
 
Visit our website: forchristianwives.com
Sep 29, 2021
Sex When Life is Overwhelming
36:09

Today we’re going to give you a little update on what’s happening with us, talk about what might be happening with you, and then discuss what that might mean for your sex life and your marriage.

Sponsor

Try discount code 4CW at checkout.

From the Bible

What does the Bible say about when life is overwhelming?

When I said, “My foot is slipping,”
  your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me,
  your consolation brought me joy.
– Psalm 94:18-19

But now, this is what the Lord says—
  he who created you, Jacob,
  he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
  I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
  I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
  they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
  you will not be burned;
  the flames will not set you ablaze.
– Isaiah 43:1-2

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." – Matthew 11:28

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7

Resources

And remember if you need or want counseling, we recommend*:


*affiliate link

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Sep 15, 2021
Pursuing Playfulness in Sexual Intimacy
24:40

About this episode

We are going to discuss practical ways to help you discover fun and playfulness between you and your husband. We talk a lot about being lighthearted during sexual intimacy, and today we want to spark your creativity.

  1. What are some obstacles you can think of that would hinder playfulness in a married couple’s sexual relationship?
  2. What would you say to a friend who sees playfulness as a challenge to incorporate into her sexual relationship with her husband?
  3. What are some practical ideas to find light-heartedness or create playfulness during intimate moments?
  4. What does the Bible say about fun?

Aug 31, 2021
The Most Pleasurable Sex Positions
25:05

About this episode

Today’s episode has a tantalizing title, but what we’re really talking about are positions that work especially well for a wife, ones that don’t work, and positions might give you a better opportunity to orgasm.

  1. Let’s revisit some basic concepts first and discuss why sexual positioning matters.
  2. What are some of the more comfortable or pleasurable sex positions for the wife?
  3. Now how about what Bonny has called #positionfail? That is, positions you or others have tried that Did Not Work Out?
  4. What are some sex positions that could provide a good way for a wife to reach climax?

Sponsor

From the Bible

What does God have to say about positions?

His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me. – Song of Songs 2:6, 8:3

Resources

Aug 17, 2021
Are You Compromising Too Much? (Listener Question)
29:57

Today, we discuss a question that a reader submitted recently:

How far is too far? How much do I compromise? I know I'm not perfect. I know I could have showed up more in the bedroom and have said as much. But I do try. It's hard as a woman, wife and now mother of 2. He says I don't listen and no one ever listens. So, he demands I do things I do not like. At times, it's not so bad. I can't handle it when he is angry. He gets rough. And then when I ultimately refuse he is so fed up and angry he leaves me feeling like I just will never be able to make him happy. I am feeling hopeless. And I struggle with knowing if I really need to be doing more or if I'm over compromising. I love my husband. We have been together almost 9 years, and I consider him my best friend. However, at times I wonder if we can ever get past this to live a happy marriage.

Sponsor

Click HERE to Learn More

And check out Bonny's STRONG WIVES website!

From the Bible

What does God have to say about this topic?

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. – 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23

Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, “I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord.” – Genesis 4:1

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. – Proverbs 27:17

But whether we are at home with the Lord or away from him, we still try our best to please him. – 2 Corinthians 9:10 (CEV)

For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. – Luke 8:17

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Aug 03, 2021
Accepting Your Body
29:00

About this episode

Today we’re talking about feeling comfortable in your body. This is a struggle for so many women, and it affects every area of our lives—inside and outside the bedroom.

  1. So, ladies, when we say “getting comfortable with your body,” what does that mean? And why is it so hard to do?
  2. What are some of ways that body discomfort shows up in women’s lives?
  3. And, of course, feeling uncomfortable with your body tends to show up with a vengeance in the bedroom. Why is that the case, and what impact does body discomfort have on women’s sex lives?
  4. What are some things women can do to begin that process and start moving forward?

Sponsor

From the Bible

What does God have to say about getting comfortable with your body?

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. - Genesis 1:27

For you created my inmost being;
  you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
  your works are wonderful,
  I know that full well.
Psalm 139:13-14

Resources

 

Jul 20, 2021
The Sleep-Sex Connection
23:59
What do we do in our beds besides sex? Sleep, of course! Today we’re going to talk about the relationship between sex and sleep.
  1. A recent study of over 3,400 women noted that those “who did not routinely get restful slumber were nearly twice as likely to report sexual problems, such as lack of desire or arousal.” While researchers don’t know which came first—poor sleep or sex problems—their study provides food for thought. How might poor sleep impact our bodies and thus our sexual functioning?
  2. How can regular sexual intimacy promote better sleep?
  3. Some people fall asleep right after sex, and some don’t. Which type are you and why do you think that is?
  4. It’s not always easy to secure enough sleep! Given the importance of quality sleep for our sexual intimacy and overall health, what tips do we have to help wives get a better’s night sleep?

Sponsor

Click here to find your next pillow or sheets!

From the Bible

What does God have to say about sleep?

There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his. – Hebrews 4:9-10

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” – Mark 6:31

In peace I will lie down and sleep,
    for you alone, Lord,
    make me dwell in safety.
– Psalm 4:8

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Jul 06, 2021
Your Sexual Self
27:53

Today we are exploring the term “sexual self.” Your sexual self is an unfolding aspect of who you are, woven into the fabric of your being.

  1. What is identity and how would it relate to a sense of a wife’s sexual self? Or in other words, how does your sexual self fit into the whole of who you are as a woman?
  2. What affects how comfortable you are with accessing this part of yourself?
  3. How do we integrate biblical principles into our sexual selves?
  4. What can a wife do to discover or rediscover her sexual self?

Sponsor

Click here for quality sheets at a great discount!

Click here to visit Faithful Counseling and connect with a fellow believer online within their network of licensed, professional therapists.

From the Bible

What does God have to say about your sexual self?

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

- Psalm 139:13-14

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. - Genesis 1:27

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Jun 22, 2021
Prioritizing Sex
25:17

About this episode

Today we’re going to talk about what prioritizing sex means, what it doesn’t mean, what gets in the way of it, and what it might look like in the lives and marriages of busy women.

  1. What does it mean to prioritize sex? And is that the phrase you think we should use, or should it be something broader – like prioritize sex and intimacy? And why is it important? Or is it important?
  2. On the flip side, what doesn’t it mean to prioritize sex?
  3. It’s fairly typical for sex to become less of a priority as a couple moves beyond the early years of marriage. When that happens, what’s typically going on? What are some of the things that get in the way of making sex a priority?
  4. What might “making sex a priority” look like in the marriages of busy wives and moms? And what are some of the things they can do to make that a reality in their lives and marriages?

Sponsor

 

Click here to visit Faithful Counseling and learn about getting matched to an licensed online counselor who is also a practicing Christian.

From the Bible

What does God have to say about prioritizing sex?

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:7-9

Resources

 

 

Jun 08, 2021
Evaluating Sex Resources, with Phylicia Masonheimer
38:36

For many years, there were very few resources for Christians who wanted to learn how to have a healthy sex life. Now Christians can find more and more books, courses, and videos to help them. It's great to have choices, but sometimes it's hard to know whether or not a particular resource is good.

Today we're joined by Phylicia Masonheimer. She encourages women to discern God's truth and live out their faith boldly in every area of their lives—including the bedroom. We talk about why it's difficult to discern which resources are biblical and helpful, what to consider when evaluating a resource, and whether to use a secular resource and then share a few recommendations.

Sponsor

Click here to learn more about Revival AI's investment opportunity.

From the Bible

Ephesians 5 NIV

What does God have to say about evaluating resources?

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise. – Psalm 111:10

In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. – Hebrews 5:12-14

See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ. – Colossians 2:8

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. – James 1:5

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. – James 3:17-18

Teach me, Lord, the way of your decrees,
 that I may follow it to the end.
Give me understanding, so that I may keep your law
 and obey it with all my heart.
Direct me in the path of your commands,
 for there I find delight.
Turn my heart toward your statutes
 and not toward selfish gain.
Turn my eyes away from worthless things;
 preserve my life according to your word.
– Psalm 119:33-37

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

May 25, 2021
Improve Your Relationship to Improve Your Sex Life
25:26

About this episode

The marriage relationship overall can impact a wife’s sexual interest. Having a good marriage with intimacy in many areas can make it easier to want and enjoy sex. In this episode, we’re going to talk about things you can do in the area of nonsexual intimacy that can have a positive impact on your sex life.

Sponsor

From the Bible

What does God have to say about improving your marital relationship?

Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
– Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Resources

May 11, 2021
Listener Questions
31:09

In this episode, we answer a few of your questions.

  1. “What are other ways to relax and enjoy my husband guilt free?”
  2. “I don't like feeling like it’s just sex.... Do I have a block? Was I wrong to be upset? How do I get myself [past] feeling like it's cold and not love?”
  3. “I was hoping you could share some wisdom of what it's like moving in with your husband for the first time… what to expect…how to talk to one another about our soon to be sex life, and tips for a soon to be pastor's wife.”
  4. “What are some positive resources on sex and marriage that are geared toward men? I have been able to find good resources for myself, but my fiancé has not."

If you want to submit a question for a future episode, click on Ask a Question in the menu on our website and submit your query.

Sponsor

Click to learn more about Revival AI.

Also sponsored by Christian Friendly Sex Positions Deck of Cards.

From the Bible

"All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, 'God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.'" 1 Peter 5:5 (NIV)

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Ephesians 5:21 (NIV)

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Apr 27, 2021
How Often Should You Have Sex
29:58

Take the Survey

As mentioned in the episode, Chris Taylor of Honeycomb & Spice is doing a survey on chronic illness and sex. We'd appreciate you taking the survey, so that she can address this subject well.

Click the link: https://tinyurl.com/chronic-survey

Or scan the QR code:

About the Episode

How often should a married couple have sex? You might think this would be an easy question to answer, but we think it’s going to take a whole episode.

  1. How do seasons of life affect the frequency of lovemaking, and what range of frequency do you think is appropriate for each season?
  2. What other factors can affect frequency?
  3. What does research say about consistent sexual intimacy?
  4. How should you and your husband negotiate frequency?

Sponsor

Share the Soap has put together a special treat box especially for listeners of Sex Chat for Christian Wives. Click on the image above to learn more—and use coupon code chat21 for an extra bath soap jewel!

Click here to get the free recipe for a personal lubricant/sensual massage oil.

From the Bible

What does God have to say about the frequency of sex?

Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. - 1 Corinthians 7:5

If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married. - Deuteronomy 24:5

Resources

affiliate links included

Click Here to Check Out the Bundle! GREAT VALUE.

Visit Our Website: forchristianwives.com

Apr 12, 2021
Take Time to Titivate
28:59

titivate (v). – to make a person or thing neater or more attractive (Merriam-Webster).

To titivate is to make small enhancing changes or to make oneself look attractive. For some women, titivation is a daily habit. For others of us, it takes intention to remember to do it now and then.

  1. Let’s start by talking about why wives might titivate in the first place.
  2. What are some reasons we might let titivation go?
  3. How does titivation spill over into our sex lives?
  4. What are some things women can do to enhance their appearance?

Sponsor

Share the Soap has put together a special treat box especially for listeners of Sex Chat for Christian Wives. Click on the image above to learn more—and use coupon code chat21 for an extra bath soap jewel!

From the Bible

What does God have to say about titivating?

...she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments prescribed for the women, six months with oil of myrrh and six with perfumes and cosmetics." - Esther 2:12 (and see Esther 2:1-18)

...as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. - Isaiah 61.10

Don’t let your beauty consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes, but rather what is inside the heart—the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. - 1 Peter 3:3-4 (CSB)

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Mar 30, 2021
What You Need to Know About Sex
29:45

There are a lot of resources about sex now, some great and some terrible. But often, resources have some important truths, some debatable points, and some myths. Today we want to talk about what really matters—the foundational points we want wives to know about sex.

Sponsor

Click here to visit our sponsor (affiliate link).

From the Bible

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com.

Mar 16, 2021
Enjoying Sex
48:21

Sex therapist and educator Joyce Penner joins us to talk about learning to enjoy sex more. Why do some women have a hard time seeing sexual intimacy as a gift? And what can these women do to pursue the enjoyment of sex with their husbands?

Sponsor

Click Here to Learn More

From the Bible

What does God have to say that can help us better enjoy sex?

Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. – 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, NIV

I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. – Song of Songs 7:10

The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. – 1 Corinthians 7:3-4, The Message

Resources

The resources below include affiliate links that earn us a small commission when you use the link to make a purchase.

Nurture Your Non-Sexual Intimacy - The Forgiven Wife
You're Not Kissing Enough | Hot, Holy & Humorous
Why Kissing Is So Intimate for Her - Knowing Her Sexually
The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment
Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women
The Married Guy's Guide to Great Sex
Restoring the Pleasure
Formula for Intimacy - free download from Joyce Penner

Resources for Adult Children of Alcoholics:
Focus on the Family
Only You Forever
Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs
Love and Life Toolbox
Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families: Friel Ph.D., John C., Friel M.A., Linda D. (older book, but still a good resource)

You can find more resources at Joyce's website, Passionate Commitment.

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Mar 02, 2021
100th Episode
29:07

About this episode

Today is our 100th Episode! On this special episode, we share what we do when we're not talking about sex, what ministry projects we're working on, and nearly half of a 100 sex tips list we ask our listeners help us complete.

Sponsor

Infinitemoon.com

From the Bible

What does God have to say about our ministry (and yours)?

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. - 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Resources

Click here for our BINGO card!

Feb 16, 2021
Valentine's Day
34:24

About this episode

Today we’re talking about Valentine’s Day. It’s coming up soon, and women feel all kinds of different things about it. Some women love it, some hate it, and some feel kind of ambivalent about it. And it plays out differently in different marriages. So, we talk about it and come up with some ideas for making it fun and romantic for all kinds of couples and marriages.

Sponsor

Infinitemoon.com

 

From the Bible

What does God have to say about Valentine’s Day? (Not much, but a whole lot about love.)

Do everything in love. – 1 Corinthians 16:14
And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. – Colossians 3:14
We love because he first loved us. – 1 John 4:19

Resources

Feb 02, 2021
Overcoming Boredom in the Bedroom
24:24

With people staying home more than ever these days, monotony is overwhelming our lives. However, there is one area of your life than can certainly move from monotonous to mind-blowing with just a few simple changes.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we are talking about boredom in the bedroom and what can be done to generate more passion in your experience.

  1. What can lead to boredom in the bedroom?
  2. What can a wife do to move toward more energy, excitement, interest, and pleasure in the bedroom?
  3. What is boredom possibly masking?
  4. What are some possible solutions if there are deeper issues?

Sponsor

CLICK HERE TO SHOP OR LEARN MORE!

Specific products mentioned in the show:

FAITHFUL COUNSELING

Save 10% on your first month!

Sponsor links are affiliate links, with purchases providing a small commission to our podcast.

From the Bible

What does God have to say about boredom in the bedroom?

There the mandrakes give off their fragrance,
    and the finest fruits are at our door,
new delights as well as old,
    which I have saved for you, my lover.
Song of Songs 7:13

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Jan 19, 2021
Getting a Fresh Start with Your Sex Life
28:02

About this episode

Sometimes we need to hit the reset button with sexual intimacy. Maybe it’s not been going well lately. Maybe it’s never been good in your marriage. Maybe you only recently realized how important sexual intimacy is to your relationship. How can you start over or at least get a fresh start in some part of sex that hasn’t been ideal?

  1. Why do many wives feel they need a fresh start with the sex in their marriage?
  2. How can we begin to set a new tone or build new habits for sexual intimacy?
  3. What are some obstacles wives might face when they try to do something different?
  4. What are the long-term benefits of getting that fresh start?
  5. Are there any promises from God we can rely on as we try to reset our sex life?

Sponsor

Married Dance

From the Bible

What does God have to say about fresh starts?

For I am the Lord your God
    who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
    I will help you.
- Isaiah 41:13

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. - Isaiah 43:19

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
    the great locust and the young locust,
    the other locusts and the locust swarm[a]
my great army that I sent among you.
You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
    and you will praise the name of the Lord your God,
    who has worked wonders for you;
never again will my people be shamed.
- Joel 2:25-26

Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.” - Luke 18:27

They remembered that God was their Rock, that God Most High was their Redeemer. - Psalm 78:35

Resources

Jan 05, 2021
35 Gifts for Your Marriage
21:08

Bonny, Chris, Gaye, and J have a list of gifts that can help you learn, love, and laugh in your marriage!

Sponsor

Click to visit the website and shop!

Also sponsored by Share the Soap. Learn more about their romance set!

From the Bible

What does God have to say about gift-giving?

A gift opens the way and ushers the giver into the presence of the great. - Proverbs 18:16

On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. - Matthew 2:1

Gift List

All links below are affiliate links that earn us a commission when you use them to do your shopping.

LEARN

LOVE

LAUGH

Check out our 2019 list in Episode 72: The Ultimate Sexy Gift Guide.

Just for Our Listeners

It's Christmas Eve, and Grace still hasn't seen a present under the Christmas tree from her husband. When Todd announces there is no present coming, she feels snubbed, not realizing that he's got a different surprise planned. But is his gift what she really wants? Or even what she needs?

Inspirational Short Story, 4000 words.

FREE through January 1, 2021, with coupon code WIVES

And Don't Forget Our Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Nov 24, 2020
How Does Depression Affect Sex?
35:44

About this episode

Thanks for joining us at Sex Chat for Christian Wives. Today we’re going to talk about something that affects more than 264 million people around the world–depression.

  1. People sometimes hear the word “depression” and think it just means that someone is sad a lot or that they are weak. So let’s start by talking about what depression is—and maybe what it is not.
  2. What kind of impact does depression have on our sex lives?
  3. How can our faith help us when depression affects our marriage?
  4. What can we do to address depression or soften the impact it has on our marriage and sex life?

Sponsors

Married Dance

From the Bible

Anxiety weighs down the heart,
    but a kind word cheers it up.
Proverbs 12:25

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. – Matthew 11:28

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18

Resources

Depression (major depressive disorder) – Mayo Clinic
Is Depression Impacting Your Sexual Intimacy? – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Q&A with J: Sex and Antidepressants – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Is Seasonal Depression Impacting Your Marriage? – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Is the Oral Contraceptive Pill Associated with Depression?- A Synopsis of The Impact of OC Pills on Mood – Psych Scene Hub
Sexual Intimacy and Depression – The Forgiven Wife

And don’t forget…

The Resource You Need to Reach or Amplify Your Orgasm—for only $10!

Nov 10, 2020
Listener Questions
24:28

We answer listener questions, specifically:

  • Could you talk about the tilted uterus? I was told I have one and would like to know more about it.
  • My husband is currently taking classes and working long days. He practically comes home to sleep and then leaves for school and work the next day. This has made it a lot harder to make time for us and especially sex. I try to do things for him in hopes that it will alleviate some of his stress What can I do to make sex happen? We used to be Jackrabbits and now I'm lucky if we have sex once a week. It makes me feel like there is something wrong with me.
  • I want to ask you about sex during my period. For me, sex helps with my cramps. However, my husband does not like intercourse at that time due to the flow. The other part of this is that my husband struggles with the desire to view pornography. So, during my period, he doesn’t want to have regular intercourse, but he wants me to give him oral sex to help him with his temptation. I’m seeking wisdom in how to please my husband and support him in his battle with pornography but not lose myself in my frustrations and sometimes selfish desires I have as a young bride.

Sponsors

Use coupon code FCW for 20% off your first purchase.
Existing customers can use coupon code FCWspecial for 15% off.

Carefree Organics was established in 2013 by a boy mama of 3 to provide clean products for all concerned mothers and entire families. In starting small, the company has gone from just 5 basic products to high-end skincare, a baby/spa line, hair care, new cosmetics, supplements, and even mood-enhancing aromatherapy. There is truly something for everyone. Check out carefreeorganics.com and use coupon code FCW20 for 20% off one purchase.

From the Bible

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. - Philippians 2:3-4

Resources

Sex Positions for Women with a Tilted Uterus - Christian Friendly Sex Positions
A Key to Understanding Orgasm: Deep Spots - OysterBed7
Can Sex Help Your Spouse’s Work Stress? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Why Stress Affects Sex And What To Do About It - OysterBed7
5 Times of Day to Make Love - Hot, Holy & Humorous
How Do You Manage Sex When Your Schedules Are Different? - The Forgiven Wife
Is Porn Use an Addiction (and Does It Even Matter)? - The Forgiven Wife
Episode 38: A Conversation About Porn (Part 1)
Episode 39: A Conversation About Porn (Part 2)|
Episode 40: Healing after Porn Discovery
Samson Society
Covenant Eyes Internet Filtering Software (affiliate link)
Celebrate Recovery
Strong Wives Rise - Facebook Group (run by Bonny Burns)
"First Steps To Healing From Porn Discovery by Bonny Burns" - part of the Awesome Marriage Online Affair Recovery Course

And don't forget...

The Resource You Need to Reach or Amplify Your Orgasm—for only $10!

Click Here to Sign Up or Learn More!

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

 

Oct 27, 2020
Newlywed Tips, with Ngina Otiende
27:44

About this episode

Today, we have special guest Ngina Otiende of Intentional Today, and we're talking about...

  • Our most vivid memories of our weddings or first few months of marriage.
  • When did reality set in that marriage might take more work than you initially thought?
  • Now, bringing the conversation back to our mission of speaking candidly about God’s design of sexual intimacy, what is one newlywed obstacle you can speak to and give advice in overcoming?
  • What is one piece of sexually intimate advice you’d give to a bride today?

Sponsors

Share the Soap

Newlywed Set Prepared Especially for Our Listeners

Use coupon code FCW for 20% off your first purchase.
Existing customers can use coupon code FCWspecial for 15% off.

Carefree Organics Skincare

Carefree Organics was established in 2013 by a boy mama of 3 to provide clean products for all concerned mothers and entire families. In starting small, the company has gone from just 5 basic products to high-end skincare, a baby/spa line, hair care, new cosmetics, supplements, and even mood-enhancing aromatherapy. There is truly something for everyone. Check out carefreeorganics.com and use coupon code FCW20 for 20% off one purchase.

Use FCW20 for 20% off your purchase.

From the Bible

"...Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

And that is what some of you were

But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." ~ 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

Resources

Episode 32: Advice For Our Newlywed Selves
Free Access To "Subscriber Only" Resources - Ngina Otiende
How To Navigate Conflict In Marriage - Ngina Otiende
What Newlyweds Should Know About Married Sex - Bonny's OysterBed7
A Letter To My Newlywed Self (Age 20) - Bonny's OysterBed7
A Letter to My Newlywed Self: Age 25 - Hot, Holy & Humorous
What I Wish I’d Known Before the Wedding Night - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Wedding Tips for Bride - Hot, Holy & Humorous store item

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Oct 13, 2020
What Research Tells Wives About Sex, with Shaunti Feldhahn
37:51

We are so privileged today to have Shaunti Feldhahn—social researcher, bestselling author, and popular speaker—pulling up a chair at our virtual kitchen table.

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And not mentioned in the show, but check out this Online Marriage Retreat, with J. Parker's 5 Steps to Better Sex.

 
Use code PARKER10 (click Apply) for an additional 10% off
 
From the Bible

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

I made a covenant with my eyes
not to look lustfully at a young woman.
Job 31:1
 
Resources

Sep 29, 2020
Feeling More Sensual
27:11

Today we’re talking about sensuality and how wives can feel more sensual. What does it mean to feel sensual? Why can it be difficult, and why does it matter? And what can you do to feel more sensual yourself?

Sponsors

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Sensual Set Prepared Especially for Our Listeners

Use coupon code FCW for 20% off your first purchase.

Carefree Organics

Use coupon code FCW20 for 20% off one purchase.

From the Bible

What does God have to say about sensuality?

So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 8:15)

How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume more than any spice! (Song of Songs 4:10)

And the rest of Song of Songs!

Resources

Orgasm Webinar on October 15

All 3 Webinars

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Sep 15, 2020
Getting Him to Touch You Where You Want
18:45

It’s a common scenario we hear: She wants him to touch her body in various places, and he wants to focus on the “good bits.” So today, we’re going to talk about where you’d like to be touched, besides your special lady-parts, and how you can get your husband to spend more time and attention there.

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From the Bible

What does God have to say about touching and kissing her body?

She
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine.
Song of Songs 1:2

His left arm is under my head and his right arm embraces me.
Song of Songs 2:6, 8:3

A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
Proverbs 5:19

Resources

Click to Learn More.

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Sep 01, 2020
4 Tips to Improve Your Sex Life
19:12

We want to encourage you to just think of one thing you could do to improve your sex life. To give you some ideas, we're each going to share one thing we did to improve our sex life.

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From the Bible

What does God have to say about our tips?

For his unfailing love toward those who fear him
    is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.
He has removed our sins as far from us
    as the east is from the west.
Psalm 103:11-12 (NLT)

I belong to my beloved,
and his desire is for me.
Song of Songs 7:10

Resources

Click to Learn More!

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Aug 18, 2020
The Worst & Best Sex Advice We've Ever Received
19:43

About this episode

There is some really bad sex advice out there, most of it because the people giving the advice don’t know any better themselves. Today we’re sharing with you the worst sex advice we’ve personally received, but also the best sex advice we’ve received.

  1. Okay, ladies, what is the worst sex tip you have gotten either from a resource or an individual?
  2. Taking a positive perspective, how can we correct the record? That is, how should each of us and women out there respond when we encounter bad advice?
  3. What is the best sex tip you’ve ever gotten from some resource or someone?

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From the Bible

What does God have to say about receiving advice?

  • The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice. – Proverbs 12:19
  • But Jehoshaphat also said to the king of Israel, “First seek the counsel of the Lord.” – 1 Kings 22:5

Resources

Sex is even better when you get your happy ending! But how can you best achieve orgasm? We'll cover what's involved physically, emotionally, and mentally in reaching climax. Whether orgasm has been elusive for you, or you wish to reach it more consistently, or you want to maximum the experience in intensity or multiples, join us for this special webinar dedicated to your happy ending.
Aug 05, 2020
Talk to Friends
19:42

Our podcast is hosted by four friends talking biblically and authentically about sexual intimacy. How can you find your own friend group to talk with about sex? We've got some tips!

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From the Bible

Friends
We rejoice and delight in you;
we will praise your love more than wine.
Song of Songs 1:4

The godly give good advice to their friends;
the wicked lead them astray.
Proverbs 12:26 (NLT)

Resources

Sign up for our next webinar!

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com.

Jul 21, 2020
Making Space in Your Life for Sex
27:40

About this episode

Today we’re talking about making space in your life for sex. And whether you’re listening to this in the time of COVID, when we’re recording it, or at a time when things are more back to normal, you probably have some sense of what it means to make space (or lack space) in your life for sex, intimacy, and just in general enjoying your marriage.

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One of the most common questions wives have is how to give him oral sex...or even whether to give him oral sex. With both a biblical and practical perspective, we'll discuss why you might want to consider giving your husband oral sex, what the challenges can be, and how to make oral sex work for you and your sexual intimacy.

I want to know more!

 

Save money when you purchase all three webinars! Get a $30 value for $25 when you purchase the Getting in the Mood webinar, Oral Sex webinar, and Orgasm webinar together.

Jul 06, 2020
Trying New Sex Positions
23:05

About This Episode

Is it time to expand your sexual position repertoire? We discuss going beyond "missionary" to include other positions, with a dose of reality on what's do-able and how to introduce new positions into your marriage.

Sponsor

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From the Bible

"His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me."
Song of Songs 2:6, 8:3

The mandrakes give off a fragrance, and at our doors is every delicacy, both new and old. I have treasured them up for you, my love.
Song of Songs 7:13 (CSB)

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Jun 23, 2020
Self-care and Sexual Interest
20:00

About this episode

Self-care is important—and it helps our sexual interest too! In this episode we talk about why and share some tips.

Sponsor

Honeycomb & Spice

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From the Bible

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Then he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.” Mark 2:27

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. Luke 5:16

Resources

5 Ways to Treat Yourself Like a Friend – CalmHealthySexy

Silence the Lies – The Forgiven Wife

New Day, New Way – It’s Never too Late to Start Something New – CalmHealthySexy

Episode 80: Intimacy During Lockdown

Self-Bullying: What to do when the bully is YOU! (affiliate link)

5 Ways to Take Care of Yourself in a Crisis – CalmHealthySexy

Jun 09, 2020
Dating Your Spouse During Challenging Times
28:50

About this episode

We’re recording this at a time when many people are still living with some form of stay-at-home orders. Others can go out, but aren’t sure if it’s safe. And many others are facing financial difficulties, such as job loss, reduced work hours, or uncertainty about the future of their job or business. All of those things make the idea of “date night” seem rather daunting.

But even beyond the current crisis, lots of couples face challenges to enjoying a regular “date night.” Money may be tight, they may not have childcare, or they may be too tired to figure out what to do.

So today we’re going to talk about date nights for challenging times, whatever your challenge may be. These are simply ways to plan some fun with your spouse – at home or in your community –  that don’t cost a lot of money and don’t take a lot of time and energy.

From the Bible

Song of Songs 7:11-13 Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom— there I will give you my love. The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my beloved.

Resources

Date Night Questions - The Romantic Vineyard
Alphabet Dates - The Romantic Vineyard
Date Night, Anywhere - The Forgiven Wife
Dating Your Spouse in a Crisis – LoveHopeAdventure
How to Have a Movie Date in Your Car – LoveHopeAdventure
4 Reasons to Add a “Parents’ Night” to Your Family’s Schedule - CalmHealthySexy
25 Ways to Have Fun with Your Husband – CalmHealthySexy
16 Fun and Healthy Dates for Married Couples – CalmHealthySexy
Variety and Libido - OysterBed7
Friendship 101 - OysterBed7
26 2-Player Board Games for Couples - To Love Honor & Vacuum
Are You Dating Your Spouse Enough? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Movies to Inspire Romance - Hot, Holy & Humorous
20 Date Nights You Can Do at Home (book review) - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Make Date Night a Marriage Adventure (book review- Hot, Holy & Humorous

May 26, 2020
Listener Questions May 2020
18:06

Today, we are answering some of your questions.

  • How can I get over being sexually shy with my husband?
  • How can I begin to get past the negative messages I learned about sex?
  • How can I show my husband desire throughout the day instead of compartmentalizing sex for bedtime only?

Sponsor

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This episode was also sponsored in part by Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples!

From the Bible

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

Resources

Visit our website at forchristianwives.com

May 13, 2020
Doing the Best We Can
42:06

About this episode

We’re wingin’ it! Hang out with us as we ramble about life during a global pandemic, the reality of trying to continue intimacy despite circumstances, and where our heads and hearts are right now. Maybe you can relate.

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From the Bible

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” – 1 John 4:18 (NIV)
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” – 2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV)
The Book of Psalms

Resources

Squirrels
Sports Announcer doing Real-life Commentary
Melt Couples Massage Master Class
Episode 10: Tending Your Garden
USA Today Mask Pattern (the one J used)
No Sew Face Mask
Face Mask from Bra

Apr 27, 2020
Intimacy During Lockdown
22:56

We're recording this during the Coronavirus global pandemic, but today we’re focusing on the positive with some practical tips for fostering intimacy during lockdown.

  1. What aspects of marital intimacy are most important during this tough time?
  2. How can sex be part of maintaining a positive attitude
  3. Knowing the challenges various couples are facing, what tips do you have for nurturing intimacy during lockdown?
  4. What scripture gives you hope and comfort right now?

Sponsor

Download Your FREE Copy!

And check out our webinar replays.

From the Bible

"This is the day that the Lord has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it."
– Psalm 118:24 (ESV)

When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
– Isaiah 43:2-3

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" – Matthew 6:25-27

Do not put your trust in princes,
in human beings, who cannot save.
Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the Lord their God.
– Psalm 146:3,5

Resources

5 Ways to Take Care of Yourself in a Crisis - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
The Joy of Earbuds - The Forgiven Wife
What Will the Kids Think? The Forgiven Wife

Apr 14, 2020
Maintaining Sexual Intimacy During a Crisis
24:30

About this episode

As we record this, we are in the midst of a global pandemic. Life feels far from normal.

Besides pandemics, we all live through very difficult experiences from time to time. Natural disasters, deaths, illnesses, and family crises can pull the rug out from under us.

In this episode, we share some ideas to help you maintain sexual intimacy when life goes topsy-turvy.

From the Bible

What does God have to say about [insert topic]?

"Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and made love to her" (2 Samuel 12:24a).
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7).

Resources

Challenging Times? Some Tips to Keep Up Marital Intimacy! - J's newsletter
Let's Address These Marriage Struggles You May Have Right Now - J's newsletter
4 Ways Sex Can Comfort in Crisis or Grief - Hot, Holy & Humorous
How Sex Can Help Us Cope - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Your Wife's Anxiety - KHS Ministry
8 Ways to Stay Intimate Even When Life Gets in the Way of Sex - The Forgiven Wife
Nurture Your Non-Sexual Intimacy - The Forgiven Wife

Note: J's son was tested for Coronavirus, and the test was negative. Her husband's insulin issues got resolved as well. Let's keep praying for others who are impacted or at risk.

Mar 30, 2020
Breasts and How They Impact Female Sexuality
27:05

Today, we are discussing breasts and how they can impact your sexuality.  Song of Solomon calls them twin fawns of a gazelle and clusters of fruit.  Whether your twins are gazelles, grapes, or grapefruit, we are going to delve into a discussion about the female breast.

  1. What are some of the names used for breasts through the years?
  2. We can’t talk about breasts without first talking about breast feeding.  How can nursing affect a wife’s sexual intimacy?
  3. What are some characteristics of healthy breasts and what are some warning signs that you may need to go to the doctor?
  4. How breasts can impact a wife's experience of sexuality in the bedroom?

Sponsor


Click to Purchase 2019 Webinar(s)

Click to Purchase 2020 Webinar(s).

Also sponsored by KHS Ministry (Knowing Her Sexually) for husbands.

From the Bible

"Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle" (Song of Solomon 7:3).

"Your stature is like that of a palm, and your breasts are like clusters of fruit.  I said, 'I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit.'  May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine..." (Song of Solomon 7:7-8).

Resources

3 Ways for a Young Mom to Feel More Sensual - Bonny's OysterBed7
Ta-Ta Touch - Bonny's OysterBed7
A&D Cream - Amazon (affiliate link)
Lansinoh Lanolin Nipple Cream (affiliate link)
Bag Balm - Amazon (affiliate link)
101 Words for Your Private Parts (with 25 words for breasts) - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Check Out Those Breasts - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Q&A with J: “How Do You Feel about Your Implants Now?”
He Can’t Really Be Happy with My Body - Guest Post by J. Parker on The Forgiven Wife
A Wife's Breasts Have History - The Forgiven Wife

Mar 17, 2020
How to Ask for What You Want
33:26

About this episode

Today we are discussing how to ask for what you want, in marriage overall, and more specifically in the bedroom. This is something many women struggle to do and many women do not even know if they are supposed to ask.

  • Why is it so hard for women to ask for what they want, especially in the bedroom?
  • What are some practical things that women can do to start speaking up about what they want and need, and keep speaking up until they get it?
  • What about women who do ask for what they want, but nothing changes? Or changes happen for a short time, but then drift back toward the status quo?

Sponsors

Are you

 

From the Bible

The Song of Solomon

Resources

Speak Up - The Forgiven Wife
Learn What You Like in Bed - The Forgiven Wife
Sock Monkey Kama Sutra book (affiliate link)
Cookie Sutra book (affiliate link)
Sharpie markers (affiliate link)
Q&A with J: How Do I Express What I Want in Bed? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
101 Words for Your Private Parts (But No Curse Words) - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Understanding Her Sex Drive Webinar - replay for only $5
Ravel's Bolero: Version 1 (10 min) and Version 2 (13.5 min)

Mar 03, 2020
Listener Questions
29:26

Today, we are answering some of your questions.

  • How does a high desire wife navigate week-long business travel separation?
  • What are some ways a nursing mom and mom of little ones can increase her desire to be sexual?
  • How does menopause and hysterectomy affect sexual intimacy?
  • Is it sinful to figure out how to reach orgasm on your own so that you can show your husband what works?

Sponsor

Click to Learn More!

This episode was also sponsored in part by Honoring Intimates, lingerie & more!

From the Bible

The following verse is referenced and explained within the episode, but read the whole Onan story here. "Then Judah said to Onan, 'Sleep with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother.' But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother" (Genesis 38:8–9, NIV).

Resources

And announcing...

Click Here to Purchase or Learn More!

Feb 18, 2020
Our Best Tips for Initiating Sex
30:45

About this episode

We all want to be wanted, and our husbands are no exception. Initiating sex is a great way to communicate “I want you” to your husband, but it isn’t always easy.

  • Why do wives sometimes find it difficult to even try to initiate sex?
  • Some wives report that they do try to initiate sex but their husbands don’t seem to pick up on the signals. What is going on?
  • What are some things wives can do to initiate sex and get things rolling?

Sponsor

Married Dance

This episode was also sponsored in part by Honoring Intimates, lingerie & more!

       

From the Bible

What does God have to say about initiating?

Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside,
let us spend the night in the villages.
Let us go early to the vineyards
to see if the vines have budded,
if their blossoms have opened,
and if the pomegranates are in bloom—
there I will give you my love.
The mandrakes send out their fragrance,
and at our door is every delicacy,
both new and old,
that I have stored up for you, my beloved.

Song of Songs 7:11-13

Resources

You’re Not Kissing Enough – Hot, Holy & Humorous
40 Ways to Initiate Sex with Your Husband – Hot, Holy & Humorous
5 Ways to Initiate Sex with Your Spouse – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Flip the Switch from Initiation to Availability – Hot, Holy & Humorous
How Do You Initiate Sex ? – The Forgiven Wife
When You Initiate, Do This – The Forgiven Wife
10 Ideas You Can Use to Initiate Sex – The Forgiven Wife
He Wants a Wild-Cat in Bed. That's Not Me. - Bonny's OysterBed7

Limited Time Only!

Just in time for Valentine’s Day
All three 2019 webinars for only $12!
Understanding Your Sex Drive
Foreplay
Understanding Her Sex Drive (for husbands)
Good through January 31, 2020

Feb 04, 2020
Getting Comfortable with Your Body
30:26

forchristianwives.com

About the Episode

We understand the struggle wives often have with their body image and how it affects their sexuality. Today we want to revisit this topic to discuss how we can finally embrace our bodies and get comfortable being naked with our husbands.

  • Why is having a positive body image such a challenge for women?
  • What can we do to combat messages that make us feel worse about ourselves?
  • Do we have any responsibility to take care of our bodies?
  • Despite how we feel about ourselves, most husbands find their wives beautiful. But what about the wife whose husband criticizes her appearance?
  • What advice from your own journey would you give to help a wife embrace a positive body image?

Sponsor

Click Here to Learn More about Position Cards

Also sponsored by Honoring Intimates, lingerie & more!

From the Bible

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

Psalm 139:13-14

Resources

Body Image Got You Down? - The Forgiven Wife
Body by God - The Forgiven Wife|
He Can't Really Be Happy with My Body - J's guest post on The Forgiven Wife
Enjoy a Plus-Sized Sex Life - The Forgiven Wife
5 Ways to Feel More Attractive – Beauty and Confidence for Real Women - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
My Husband’s Big Belly Turns Me Off. Am I Shallow? - Bonny's OysterBed7

For a Limited Time Only

Just in time for Valentine's Day
All three 2019 webinars for only $12!
Understanding Your Sex Drive
Foreplay
Understanding Her Sex Drive (for husbands)
Good through January 31, 2020

Click Here to Learn More

Jan 21, 2020
Out with the Old, In with the New
25:51

About this episode

Today we’re talking about letting go of something old and taking hold of something new in 2020. Sometimes we hold onto habits, thoughts, and behaviors that seemed to serve us well in the past, but now aren’t helping us move forward. They’re keeping us from moving forward and creating something new and better.

  1. What are some things we tend to hold onto, that may have helped us in the best but might be holding us back as we move into the New Year?
  2. What are some changes you’ve made, or changes you know that other women have made, that have allowed them to take hold of something new in their marriage?

Sponsor

Married Dance

This episode was also sponsored in part by Honoring Intimates, lingerie & more!

From the Bible

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. – Isaiah 43:19

I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm—
my great army that I sent among you.
You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the Lord your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
– Joel 2:25-26

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! – 2 Corinthians 5:17

Resources

Jan 07, 2020
Gift Guide
26:23

Welcome to our Christmas episode! Listen as we share a little about ourselves. Plus, we thank you for listening by offering gift suggestions to build your lovemaking experience, your bedroom ambiance, and your connection with your sweetie.

Sponsor

Click HERE to learn more.

Also sponsored by Honoring Intimates, lingerie and more.

From the Bible

James 1:17, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

Resources

The shopping links below are affiliate links that earn us a small commission at no additional cost to you.

Gifts for Lovemaking

Gifts for Bedroom Ambiance

Gifts to Build Intimacy

Click HERE to learn more.

Nov 26, 2019
Support from Other Women
33:45

About this episode

When we struggle with sexual intimacy, we often feel alone. Our husbands may be our go-to support for most things, but if sex isn’t working well, he may not be able to help us in the way we need. Sometimes what we really need is support from other women who know what we’re going through.

In this episode, we talk about how to find support for our sexual struggles and how to use that support to help us grow. We’re joined by Ruth Buezis, founder of Awaken-Love Ministry and author of Awaken Love: The Truth About Sex that will Transform Your Marriage.

Sponsor

Married Dance

Check out the games at Married Dance!

-------------------

Learn more about the Honeycomb & Spice Community.

From the Bible

What does God have to say about letting others help us?

Proverbs 11:14 - When there is no guidance a nation falls,
but there is success in the abundance of counselors.
(NET Bible)

Proverbs 27:17 - As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Galatians 6:2 - Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Resources

Nov 11, 2019
Sexless Marriages
42:51

About the Episode

Around 20% of marriages are sexless. That is, the couple has sexual activity ten or fewer times per year. About ten years ago, a New York Times study indicated that 15% of couples haven’t had sex in at least six months.

Sexlessness in a marriage can be a source of deep pain—and if often reflects pain as well.

Today we’re going to talk about sexless marriages and what you can do about it if you’re in one.

Sponsor

Click Here to Learn More

From the Bible

What does God have to say about sexless marriages?

"The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Song of Songs

"Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2

"You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love." Galatians 5:13

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." Philippians 2:3-4

"That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." Genesis 2:24

"'Haven’t you read,' he replied, 'that at the beginning the Creator "made them male and female," and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.'" Matthew 19:4-6

How beautiful you are and how pleasing, my love, with your delights! - Song of Songs 7:6

Resources

Unlock Your Libido: 52-Week Sex Drive Transformation by Bonny Logsdon Burns
Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage by J. Parker
Why Knowing Your Low Drive Spouse's Love Language Is Important - Bonny's OysterBed7
Move Mismatched Sex Drives Toward Better - Bonny's OysterBed7
Ways to Align Mismatched Sex Drives - Bonny's Oysterbed7 @Messy Marriage
Helping Mismatched Sex Drives Become More Matched - Bonny's OysterBed7
Why Sex? - Bonny's OysterBed7
How to Arouse Sexual Desire Through Emotional Connection - Bonny's OysterBed7
Eliminate These to Help Grow Mismatched Sex Drives - Bonny's OysterBed7
Dear Wife, You Deserve a Great Sex Life Too - Calm.Healthy.Sexy
Just Because He Stopped Asking Doesn’t Mean He Stopped Wanting - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Is Refusing Sex in Marriage a Sin? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Q&A with J: “What If Neither of Us Desires Sex?” - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Q&A with J: I’m in a Sexless Marriage - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Q&A with J: “My Sexless Marriage Is Making Me Lose My Faith in God” - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Is the Church Failing Sexless Marriages? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Q&A with J: “What Can I Do About My Sexless Marriage?” Part 1 - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Q&A with J: How Do I Write a Post that Helps Sexless Marriages?
Q&A with J: “What Can I Do About My Sexless Marriage?” Part 2 - Hot, Holy & Humorous
A Prayer for Sexless Marriages - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Q&A with J: “What Can I Do About My Sexless Marriage?” Part 3 - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Q&A with J: “What Can I Do About My Sexless Marriage?” Part 4 - Hot, Holy & Humorous
How the Sexually Rejected Spouse Feels - Hot, Holy & Humorous
How the Sexually Disinterested Spouse Feels - Hot, Holy & Humorous
A Moment of Hard Truth - The Forgiven Wife
Leaving a Sexless Marriage - The Forgiven Wife
Living in a Nearly Sexless Marriage - The Forgiven Wife
Is a Sexless Marriage a Loveless Marriage? - The Forgiven Wife

Upcoming Webinar



Click Here to Learn More

Oct 30, 2019
Shower Power
24:46

Episode 69: Shower Power

About this episode

Today we’re talking about bathing and showering—not just having sex in a shower or bathtub, but the whole kit-and-caboodle. You’ll see what we mean once we get started.

Sponsor

 

From the Bible

What does God have to say about sex and showers (or bathing)?

Song of Songs 4:15
You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon.

Song of Songs 5:12-16
His eyes are like doves by the water streams, washed in milk, mounted like jewels. His cheeks are like beds of spice yielding perfume. His lips are like lilies dripping with myrrh. His arms are rods of gold set with topaz. His body is like polished ivory decorated with lapis lazuli. His legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as its cedars. His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, this is my friend, daughters of Jerusalem.

Resources

Oct 15, 2019
Listener Questions
23:33

About This Episode

Today's listener questions are:

  1. My husband is really interested in me swallowing during oral sex. I don't get it. I honestly don't want to work up to it; it's already taken a lot of effort just to give bjs and oral sex to him. But he keeps asking. I'm not sure what to do - keep saying no, or work through my gag reflex and dislike of the smell and try it? To be honest, it kind of grosses me out even thinking of swallowing. I've tried using the gag reflex sprays too and it doesn't help much. I just need some advice.
  2. I’ve read in some books and blogs God’s biblical design and purpose is that sex is a) for reproduction b) for pleasure c) creating intimacy - these three purposes are independent of each other — reproduction is possible without pleasure/intimacy or pleasure can be possible without procreation. -the maximum goal of the Lord is intimacy, for happiness of the couple and because marriage represents intimacy between church and Jesus So.. Do you think it’s possible to have real intimacy without pleasure in sex? Like saying “if sex is not really pleasurable then intimacy is not really close” or “the greatest the pleasure the stronger the intimacy” or “a marriage can’t have actual intimacy without good sex” or “no sex, no intimacy”, etc. I know is a kind of strong question but I am struggling with this thought because I’ve read the three independent purposes of sex at some blogs/books, but I feel some explanations are missing, specially for we wives striving with orgasm or painful intercourse or trouble with arousal, so “pleasurable” is hardly a way to define sex life.

Sponsor

Learn About Married Dance Here (affiliate link)

From the Bible

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. – Ephesians 5:28

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I have come to my garden-my sister, my bride. I gather my myrrh with my spices. I eat my honeycomb with my honey. I drink my wine with my milk. Eat, friends! Drink, be intoxicated with love! – Song of Songs 5:1

Resources

What Are the Real Purposes of Sex? – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Sex's Primary Job is not Lust Management - Bonny's OysterBed7
International Pelvic Pain Society
National Vulvodynia Association
Finding a Good Gynecologist – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Do I Have To? - The Forgiven Wife
Oral Sex: Spit, or Swallow? - The Forgiven Wife
Enjoying Your Husband’s Semen - The Forgiven Wife
Dealing with a Gag Reflex - The Forgiven Wife
Goodhead Fundamentals Kit from Married Dance (affiliate link)
Marital Aid Pilot Program from Married Dance (affiliate link)
When It Hurts: Maintaining Sexual Intimacy While Dealing with Pain - The Forgiven Wife
Maintaining Sexual Intimacy When Sex isn’t Possible - Messy Marriage
Dealing with Vulvovaginal Atrophy without Hormones - The Forgiven Wife
Episode 65: Female Sexual Health
Q&A with J: Should You Just Swallow Already?
Is Giving a “Blow Job” Enjoyable for the Wife?

Upcoming Webinar

Understanding Her Sex Drive (for husbands) - November 14, 2019

Oct 01, 2019
Romance and Your Bedroom
26:15

About this episode

Today we’re talking about bedrooms, specifically the effect of your bedroom on the quality of sex and intimacy in your marriage.

  1. Can a couple’s bedroom affect romance and/or sex in their marriage?
  2. What kinds of things about a bedroom are most likely to negatively and positively affect romance and sex?
  3. What are some simple things that wives or couples can do to improve the state of their bedroom?
  4. What could they do that costs very little or offers a lot of improvement for a little bit of effort?

Sponsor

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From the Bible

What does God have to say about the bedroom?

How handsome you are, my beloved! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant. The beams of our house are cedars; our rafters are firs. Song of Songs 1:16-17

Resources

 

 

Sep 17, 2019
Higher Desire Wives
36:13

About the Episode

Today we're talking about higher desire wives. But whether your sexual interest is higher or lower than your husband, you’ll benefit from our conversation.

  1. Let’s begin by defining “higher drive wives.” Are these just wives who want an excessive amount of sex? What makes a wife higher drive or desire?
  2. The standard presumption is that husbands want sex more than their wives. Why has this message been so prevalent, and why do we need to change it?
  3. What are some reasons why husbands might have less sexual interest than their wives?
  4. What do you think lower interest spouses wish their higher desire spouses understood about their sexuality?
  5. Are higher desire wives represented anywhere in Scripture?

Sponsor

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From the Bible

"The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife" (1 Corinthians 7:3-4).

"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (1 Corinthians 7:8-9).

"Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom— there I will give you my love" (Song of Songs 7:12).

"All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves" (Song of Songs 3:1-2).

Resources

Episode 59: Myths We Learned from Pop Culture

"Dealing with a Low-Desire Husband," Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design, J. Parker

5 Truths for High-Drive Wives - Hot, Holy & Humorous

I Love My High Sex-Drive Sisters - OysterBed7

Q&A with J: When It Comes to Sex, My Husband Says I’m “Too Much” - Hot, Holy & Humorous

A Prayer for Higher-Drive Wives - Hot, Holy & Humorous

Q&A with J: What If Hubby Is Passive in the Bedroom - Hot, Holy & Humorous

High-Drive Wives Are Not Crockpots - Hot, Holy & Humorous

A Letter to the Low-Drive Husband - Hot, Holy & Humorous

Hot, Holy & Humorous HD, Facebook group for higher desire wives

Click Here to Register or Learn More

Sep 04, 2019
Female Sexual Health
37:27

About the Episode

Today, we are discussing female genital and reproductive health. What we affectionately call "hooha" health.

  • What are some issues that women have in terms of genital or reproductive health?
  • Focusing on the vulva and exterior lady parts, what kinds of things are red flags that someone should see the doctor?
  • Thinking about our internal reproductive organs (vagina, cervix, uterus), what are some red flags?
  • Now let's shift focus and talk about sexually transmitted infections and diseases.
  • What other practical suggestions for remaining intimate with health problems or STI/STD can you offer?

Sponsor

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From the Bible

"God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:8-10.

"Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well." 3 John 1:2.

Resources

Webinar - September 19

Click Here to Register or Learn More

Aug 20, 2019
Healing from Sexual Abuse
49:16

Episode 64: Healing from Sexual Abuse, with Mary DeMuth

Many of our listeners are survivors of sexual abuse, or we know someone who is. We’d like to talk today about how that trauma shapes survivors, how it affects their marriages, what healing looks like, and what we can do as the church to support survivors.

We are joined by Mary DeMuth, an advocate, author, and survivor herself. Mary has a new book coming out August 13: We Too: How the Church Can Respond Redemptively to the Sexual Abuse Crisis.

Sponsor

 

Use coupon code SEXCHAT10 for 10% off.

Learn more about Everpillow by Infinite Moon

From the Bible

What does God have to say about healing and sexual abuse?

Luke 4:17-21 - . . . and the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,because he has anointed meto proclaim good news to the poor.He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisonersand recovery of sight for the blind,to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him. He began by saying to them, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”

Luke 10:25-37 - The Good Samaritan

The Book of Job

Genesis 1:2 - Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

Resources

(Includes affiliate links)

 

Aug 06, 2019
Sexy Talk
29:59

We’re addressing the topic of how we talk with our husbands to create a sexier and more intimate atmosphere for the bedroom.

  • What defines “sexy talk”? What does that look like?
  • As Christians, what kind of sexy talk is okay or not okay?
  • How can we incorporate sexy talk into our repertoire? What are some specific ideas to get started or rev things up?
  • Does the Bible have more to say about sexy talk?

Sponsor

Click Here to Learn More about Lorals

This episode was also sponsored in part by the Honeycomb & Spice Community.

Click Here to Check Out Honeycomb & Spice

From the Bible

My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. Song of Songs 2:14

Resources

Talking Flirty vs. Talking Dirty – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Say What? Sexy Talk in the Bedroom – The Forgiven Wife
Flirt with Your Husband (12 SFW Text Messages) – OysterBed7
15 Flirty, Corny, Steamy SFW Texts For Valentine’s Day – OysterBed7
Say the Magic Word! – OysterBed7
How to use Apple iPhone's Invisible Ink
Bitmoji

Webinars: https://forchristianwives.com/2019-webinar-series/

Jul 23, 2019
Listener Questions
21:05

Episode 61: Listener Questions

About This Episode

Today, we are answering some of your questions!

  • How do I practically and emotionally manage the messiness of love making?
  • How do I talk to my husband about his premature ejaculation?
  • Is it normal to feel self conscious about the way my vulva looks?

Sponsor: Everpillow by Infinitemoon

Everpillow by Infinitemoon

Use SEXCHAT10 in your cart for 10% off

 
This episode was also sponsored in part by Pillow Talk, by J. Parker.
 
 

From the Bible

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. Proverbs 5:18-19

Resources

Wall of white vulvaHuffington Post article
Enjoying Your Husband's Semen – The Forgiven Wife
A Wife's Breasts Have History! – The Forgiven Wife (guest post by a man)
Dealing with Vulvovaginal Atrophy without Hormones – The Forgiven Wife
Episode 14: Guy Talk – A Wife’s Beauty
Episode 58: Orgasm
The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment – Clifford Penner and Joyce J. Penner
2019 Webinar Series
Webinar teaser on YouTube
Why Are You Leaking After Sex? – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples – J. Parker

 

Jul 09, 2019
Vacation Sex
34:01

Episode 60: Vacation Sex

Today we’re talking about vacation sex. We’re recording this episode at the beginning of summer, a time when many couples and families take a vacation. But, whether you’re planning a vacation or not this year (or if you’re listening at another time of year), this episode is for you too. Because we’re going to take a broad view of the term “vacation sex,” and look at ways to enjoy it any time of the year, without having to travel or spend a lot of money.

We talk about why some women find it easier to enjoy sex on vacation, while others find it to be harder. And we explore ways to extend the definition of "vacation," so that it doesn't always require a lot of time and money. Finally, we look at ways to slow down and make summer less stressful and more enjoyable, whether you take a "vacation" or not.

Sponsor: Everpillow by Infinitemoon

Use SEXCHAT10 in your cart for 10% off

This episode was also sponsored in part by Married Dance, a discreet store where married Christians can shop for marital aids.

 

From the Bible

Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside,
    let us spend the night in the villages.
Let us go early to the vineyards
    to see if the vines have budded,
if their blossoms have opened,
    and if the pomegranates are in bloom—
    there I will give you my love.
- Song of Songs 7:11-12

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." - Mark 6:31

Resources

Jun 25, 2019
Myths We Learned from Pop Culture
37:28

Episode 59: Myths We Learned from Pop Culture

About this episode

Where did you learn about sex? Was it from your church? From your parents? From your friends? No matter how much true and good sex-positive teaching we had, most of us learned a lot about sex from popular culture, too.

Movies, television shows, and popular music often communicate messages about sex that are more myth than they are truth.

In this episode, we talk about some of those myths--and we'll look at the truths that should replace those myths.

 

Sponsors

Use coupon code SEXCHAT10 for 10% off.

This episode was also sponsored in part by Married Dance, a discreet store where married Christians can shop for marital aids.

 

From the Bible

What does God have to say about marriage and sex, women's sexuality, and men's sexuality?

Song of Songs

So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun. – Ecclesiastes 8:15

May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with her love.

– Proverbs 5:18-19

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. – Genesis 2:24

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. – Ephesians 5:31-33

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. – 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Drink water from your own cistern,
running water from your own well.
Should your springs overflow in the streets,
your streams of water in the public squares?
Let them be yours alone,
never to be shared with strangers.

– Proverbs 5:15-17

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. – Matthew 5:27-28

They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed. – Ephesians 4:18-19

Resources

Webinar Series

 

Jun 11, 2019
Orgasm
45:07

About the Episode

It may be the pinnacle of pleasure, but lots of women still have questions about orgasm. Julie Sibert from Intimacy in Marriage joins us as we answer many of the orgasm questions we get from our listeners and readers.

  1. Let's start with the basics. What is an orgasm?
  2. Why is orgasm important? That is, what's the big deal?
  3. Should a wife expect or want to achieve orgasm every time she and her husband make love?
  4. A lot of women struggle to reach orgasm. What advice can we give them?
  5. This last question is kind of like a lightning round. I'm gonna throw out some things we get asked about regarding orgasm, and let's see how many of them we can quickly cover: multiples, simultaneous orgasm, female ejaculation, clitoral vs vaginal orgasms, G-spot orgasm.

Sponsors

Use coupon code SEXCHAT10 for 10% off.

 

From the Bible

What does God have to say about orgasms?

As we say in the episode, He gave women a clitoris--and its only purpose is pleasure!

Resources

May 28, 2019
Listener Questions
27:41

About the Episode

We tackle listener questions about gifts for a virgin bride, sex positions, and predicting sex drive.

  1. My friend is getting married this year, and she is a virgin. What kind of gifts would you recommend to help her have a more comfortable transition into losing her virginity, and loving sex?
  2. My husband and I are newly married and I feel like we repeat the same three positions and we have discussed getting a book to figure out new positions!
  3. I'm getting married in a few weeks. Is there any way to know before you're married if you generally have a high or low sex drive? Or is that something that you only know after marriage?

Sponsor

From the Bible

How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume more than any spice! Song of Songs 4:11

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

Resources

Virgin Bride Guidebook: Wedding Night Answers, Bonny Logsdon Burns
What to Pack for Your Honeymoon or Vacation – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Sliquid Lubricant Sample Packs
Noxzema Bikini Razors (Walmart site, but available other places)
Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design, J. Parker
Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage, J. Parker
Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples, J. Parker "Considering Sexual Positions," Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design, J. Parker
Sex Position Cards, by Christian Friendly Sex Positions
Guy Talk: Men's Sexuality – Sex Chat for Christian Wives
Women's Sexual Response – Sex Chat for Christian Wives

Our Website

forchristianwives.com

May 14, 2019
Christian Sex Therapy
24:15

Episode 56: Christian Sex Therapy, with Dr. Jessica McCleese

About this episode

Have you ever wondered what happens in sex therapy–especially Christian sex therapy? Listen in while Bonny talks with Christian sex therapist Jessica McCleese about what happens in the first session, treatment for pain during intercourse, sexuality and faith, and how much therapy is enough.

Sponsor

sponsor advertisement

Click Here to Learn More

From the Bible

What does God have to say?

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers. Proverbs 11:14

Resources

Be Fully Well

Dr. Jessica McCleese YouTube channel

When It Hurts: Maintaining Sexual Intimacy While Dealing with Pain – The Forgiven Wife

Maintaining Sexual Intimacy When Sex isn’t Possible – Messy Marriage

Apr 30, 2019
Romance
22:46

Today, we discuss romance. Is it overrated?

1. What is the definition of romance to you?
2. How does romance change over time?
3. How do you communicate with each other about romance?

Sponsor

 



From the Bible

What does God have to say about romance?

He
Like a lily among thorns
    is my darling among the young women.
She
Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest
    is my beloved among the young men.

Song of Songs 2:2-3a

And the rest of Song of Songs...

Resources

Why Knowing Your Low Drive Wife’s Love Language Is Important – OysterBed7
Romance Infused with the Gospel – Debi Walter at Hot, Holy & Humorous
August Is Romance Awareness Month – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Common Myths of Romance Novels – Hot, Holy & Humorous
A Romance Book You Can Read – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Once in a While, Your Husband Needs a Girlfriend – Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
Are Romance Novels Okay for Christian Women? – The Forgiven Wife
Romance His Socks Off! – The Forgiven Wife
The Magic Relationship Ratio, According to Science – The Gottman Institute
Love Language Profile for Couples (quiz) – The 5 Love Languages

Visit Our Website: For Christian Wives

Apr 16, 2019
Interruptions
24:41

Today we’re talking about the challenge of interruptions, what form they take, and what to do about them so you can still have and enjoy sexual intimacy in your marriage.

  1. What are some common interruptions couples face?
  2. Why do interruptions make it especially difficult for women to refocus on sexual intimacy?
  3. Do you have a story of being interrupted during sex and how you handled it?
  4. How can we minimize interruptions?
  5. How can we deal with interruptions that happen no matter what?

Sponsor

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From the Bible

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. – James 1:2-5

And the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. – Mark 10:8-9

Resources

My Many Mental Browser Tabs - Forgiven Wife
Get Off Our Marriage Bed, Fido! - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Lock the Door, For Heaven's Sake! - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Making Love When You Have Teens in the Home - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Bedroom Soundtracks - OysterBed7
Behind Closed Doors: Five Marriage Stories by J. Parker

GoFundMe

CLICK HERE TO DONATE OR LEARN MORE

We live in different states and want to come together under one roof to develop material, plan future endeavors (including webinars), and record while actually being in the same room. Our aim is to develop material that will point you toward a more holy marriage bed and a deeper personal commitment to the Lord.

Please consider helping us fund the cost of transportation and food for J, Chris, and Gaye as they travel to Bonny's house in east TN.

Currently, any money we make from sponsors helps pay for the cost of podcast and website hosting.  We will be incredibly grateful for your donation, whether $5 or $500.  

Thank you, faithful listeners.  We wouldn't be here without you.

Apr 02, 2019
Listener Questions
39:02

About this episode

We're answering your questions today!

  • Is it okay for me to feel hurt that my husband masturbates during my period?
  • Where can I find a Christian counselor?
  • Should I initiate sex even when neither of us is in the mood because I want us to be sexually active more frequently?
  • Should I tell my husband if I had sex before marriage?


This episode was sponsored by Scott Means from Heaven Made Marriage.

Use the promo code PASSION 25 at the Heaven Made Marriage Store for 25% off (good through March 2019).

The book can also be purchase from Amazon.

 

From the Bible

Proverbs 5:19 - A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.

Resources

Mar 19, 2019
Resources for Great Sex
30:32

Episode 52: Resources for Great Sex

About this episode

Today we’re talking about resources for your marriage, and specifically about resources to help you enjoy great sex in your marriage.

From the Bible

What does God have to say about sex? A lot! The Bible says a great deal about marriage and intimacy. Start with the Song of Songs.

Resources

We mentioned a LOT in this episode—and here are all the links for you! (This list includes affiliate links that earn us a small commission.)

Bonny Burns

Chris Taylor

J. Parker

Gaye Christmus

Other Resources We Mentioned

Mar 05, 2019
2 Years of Our Best Sex Tips
40:49

We'd like to thank today's sponsor: Everpillow by Infinitemoon

Disclaimer:  We were provided with a free product. If you choose to purchase this product, Sex Chat for Christian Wives podcast will receive a small commission from Infinitemoon.  All opinions are honestly given and not coerced.

Click on the picture to learn more about this giving company and fabulous pillow.

About this episode

I'm thinking of a number! Can you guess what it is? I’m thinking of the number 2 because, it takes two baby! And, it’s Sex Chat for Christian Wives' 2nd anniversary!

Today, we're going to revisit some great information and share some new about:

  1. How can you find your sexiness by managing body image issues, stress, and lack of time?
  2. What is Female Sexual Response and how do we use it to understand our sex drive for the benefit of the bedroom?
  3. How can you find fun with your husband in and out of the bedroom?

From the Bible

What does God have to say about our sex lives? Here are some of the verses we shared in today's episode:

  • It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. – 1 Corinthians 13:5
  • Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. – 1 Corinthians 6:9-11
  • So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and every creature that crawls upon the earth. – Genesis 1:27-28 and When the woman saw that the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eyes, and that it was desirable for obtaining wisdom, she took the fruit and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. – Genesis 3:6. Moral of the story: Sexual intimacy was encouraged by God and had nothing to do with "the fall."
  • Song of Songs
  • The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. – 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Resources

Please visit today's sponsor: Everpillow by Infinitemoon

Click on the picture to learn more about this giving company and fabulous pillow. Don't forget to use coupon code SEXCHAT10 for 10% off your order.

Feb 19, 2019
Happily with Kevin A. Thompson
35:39

Our guest today is Kevin A. Thompson, the lead pastor at Community Bible Church in western Arkansas, speaks at marriage and parenting conferences, and has authored three books, the most recent one titled Happily: 8 Commitments of Couples Who Laugh, Love & Last.

  1. In Happily, you start by talking about how we tend to think happy or unhappy marriages are a product of luck or unspoken rules like marrying the right person. We've also heard this with the idea of sexual compatibility. What do y’all think about that idea?
  2. You have eight commitments outlined in Happily, but one stuck out to me in particular about how we can misuse apathy and aggression in marriage. How do spouses misuse apathy and aggression when dealing with sex in their marriage?
  3. Kevin, you've been bold on your blog about how women should be treated with respect, speaking for #MeToo and other issues. We've also talked about that here. But how can wives get husbands to understand their experiences with harassment and abuse without seeming like we’re man-bashing?
  4. You’re a pastor, and while you can’t speak for all the others, we get this question sometimes and wonder how you’d answer: Why don’t pastors preach and teach more about sex?
  5. What if a wife is experiencing sexual issues in her marriage? How should she approach her male pastor, and what safeguards should be in place?

Kevin A. Thompson’s book is Happily: 8 Commitments of Couples Who Laugh, Love & Last, and check out his previous marriage book, Friends, Partners, and Lovers and his blog.

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Resources

From the Bible

"Jesus said:
'Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.'" – Matthew 5:3-10

"Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. " – Titus 2:3-5

Our Website

http://forchristianwives.com

Feb 04, 2019
49-New Year for Intimacy
28:02

Today, we’re talking about creating a new year for intimacy in your marriage. Although we’re already a few weeks into 2019, there’s still plenty of time to make a plan for growing closer to your husband, strengthening your marriage, and enjoying sex and intimacy this year.

  1. There are lots of different ways to approach change in general. How do you approach making changes in your life?
  2. What changes do you plan to make this year, either in your marriage or in other areas of your life?
  3. What’s your best recommendation to a listener who wants to improve sex and intimacy in her marriage this year, but isn't sure where to begin?

Sponsor: InfiniteMoon Everpillow

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Coupon Code: SexChat10 for 10% off

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Resources

From the Bible

"See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.
" – Isaiah 43:19

Visit our website at https://forchristianwives.com.

Jan 22, 2019
48 - Rethinking Sexuality, with Juli Slattery
43:52

 

Dr. Juli Slattery, president of Authentic Intimacy, joins us for this episode. Her most recent book, Rethinking Sexuality: God’s Design and Why It Matters, challenges us to think about sexuality in new ways.

We talk with Juli about sexual brokenness, why the enemy likes to attack our sexuality, and how we can pray about our sex lives (even during sex!).

From the Bible

What does God have to say about brokenness and how we can fight the enemy's attacks on us (even in the area of sexuality)?

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one. 2 Thessalonians 3:3

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7

Resources

25 Reasons God Made Sex Really Good - Bonny's Oysterbed7

Sexual Invocation - The Forgiven Wife

Passion Pursuit - Authentic Intimacy Resources

Passion Pursuit study hosted by The Forgiven Wife

Shekhinah Glory

Links to Our Sponsors

 

Jan 08, 2019
Lingerie
28:14

Today on the podcast we’re talking about lingerie. What is lingerie anyway? That term covers both what we wear under our clothes and to bed. Or even just for a few moments before the outfit is summarily tossed onto the floor to make way for other activities in the bedroom.

  1. What do you think of lingerie, and have your opinions or practices changed throughout the years?
  2. How might our choice of lingerie impact our sexual intimacy?
  3. We often hear how husbands want to see their wives in sexy lingerie, but what if he doesn't care? What should a wife do then?
  4. Getting practical, how should wives shop for lingerie? What tips do you have?
  5. Do y’all have anything biblical to add to this topic of lingerie?

Peace. Love. Joy. - 75 Simple Ways to Take Care of Your Health, Happiness, and Marriage this Holiday Season

Resources

Where to Shop for Lingerie – Hot, Holy & Humorous

"Getting Ready for Sex," Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design

The 7-Day Lingerie Experiment – Calm.Healthy.Sexy.

7 Ways to Make the Most of Your Lingerie – The Forgiven Wife

Torrid Plus-Size Lingerie

Honoring Intimates

Marriage Spice

Website

forchristianwives.com

Nov 20, 2018
Episode 46: Listener Questions
28:09

In this episode, we answer listeners' questions about struggling to initiate sex, catching your husband ogling another woman, having an orgasm during intercourse, and filming yourselves having sex. Be sure to check out our show notes at forchristianwives.com for links to helpful resources!

Nov 06, 2018
Foreplay
23:22

About this episode

Merriam-Webster defines foreplay as "erotic stimulation preceding sexual intercourse." But what is erotic stimulation? And why is it important for the sexual intimacy in a marriage?

  1. How do men and women tend to think about foreplay differently? What does that word mean to husbands? What does it mean to wives?
  2. What actually constitutes foreplay?
  3. Why is foreplay important for a married couple?
  4. How can wives talk about their foreplay desires with their husbands?
  5. Is foreplay in the Bible?

From the Bible

What does God have to say about foreplay?

Song of Songs – the whole book!

"May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with her love" (Proverbs 5:18-19).

Resources

Rube Goldberg machine

Freshen Up Your Foreplay – Hot, Holy & Humorous

Newsflash, Hubbies! She Loves Foreplay. – Hot, Holy & Humorous

The F-Word I Don’t Like: A Rant – The Forgiven Wife

Love Like a Woman: Should Your Sexual Response Be Like Your Husband’s? – The Forgiven Wife

Ultimate Intimacy app

Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design by J. Parker

 

Visit our post for this episode.

Oct 23, 2018
Having Sex When Kids Are Home
27:38

About this episode

It's been a while since the four of us had young kids, but today we're hosting special guest Keelie Reason, marriage and sex blogger at Love Hope Adventure, on the topic of making love when you still have kids in the house.

  1. How did you feel about having sex while your kids were in the house?
  2. Why do you not feel self-conscious?
  3. What would you say to someone who is self-conscious?
  4. How do you handle being interrupted?

From the Bible

What does God have to say about having sex when kids are in the house?

"Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control" (1 Corinthians 7:5, NIV).

Resources

Lock the Door, for Heaven's Sake! by Hot, Holy & Humorous

Young Kids Can Kill Your Sex Life…If You Let Them by Hot, Holy & Humorous

Yes, Kid, Your Mommy and Daddy Have Sex by Hot, Holy & Humorous

Making Love When You Have Teens in the Home by Hot, Holy & Humorous

Q&A with J: Avoiding Sex Because the Kids Can Hear by Hot, Holy & Humorous

5 Times You Teach Holy and Healthy Sex to Your Kids by Hot, Holy & Humorous

Does Parenting Get in the Way of Your Marriage? by The Forgiven Wife

The Joy of Earbuds by The Forgiven Wife

What Will the Kids Think? by The Forgiven Wife

What If My Kids Hear Me Having Sex? by Keelie Reason (video)

4 Reasons to Add a Regular "Parents' Night" to Your Family's Schedule by CalmHealthySexy

4 Steps to Scheduling a Regular "Parents' Night" by CalmHealthySexy

 

More show notes can be found here

Oct 09, 2018
43-Dealing with Sexual Baggage
35:30

For many Christian wives, one of the biggest battles they face is with their own past. What we've learned, experienced, and done can affect the marriage bed for years. In this episode, we're going to talk about dealing with our sexual baggage.

We are joined by Shannon Ethridge, best-selling author, speaker, and life coach. She has helped so many women overcome their sexual and emotional baggage in her own work. In this episode, she will join us to talk about dealing with our baggage.

Learn more about Shannon at http://www.shannonethridge.com/.

Sep 24, 2018
42-Oral Sex
20:49

Thanks for your support! Click here for GoFundMe.

We know that oral sex can be a difficult subject in plenty of marriages. Is it okay for oral sex to be part of a Christian marriage? What about germs? What if a couple disagrees, with one spouse wanting to give or receive while the other spouse doesn't want anything to do with it?

In this episode, we’re going to tackle these questions.

  1. Let’s start with whether it’s okay for oral sex to be part of a Christian marriage. Ladies, what do you think?
  2. What kinds of health concerns might come into play with oral sex?
  3. If a husband and wife don’t agree about oral sex in their marriage bed, how can they work through their disagreement?

More links and resources at our website: forchristianwives.com

Sep 06, 2018
41-Flirting with Your Husband
25:20

GoFundMe - Thanks for your support!

Author Charlotte Bronte said, “Flirting is a woman’s trade, one must keep in practice.” And yet, once we get married, we tend to forget how we flirted so successfully in our courtship. Or maybe we were never comfortable with flirting. Everyday life and awkwardness set in, and we fail to pursue our husband’s interest like we could. So today we’re going to talk about flirting with your husband.

  1. Why is it important to flirt with our husbands? What are the benefits to flirting?
  2. Why would a wife feel awkward flirting? What obstacles are in our way?
  3. Now let’s talk about specific tips. What are some ideas for how a wife can flirt with her husband?
  4. Any flirting or encouragement to flirt in the Bible that you can think of?

 

Aug 29, 2018
40-Healing after Porn Discovery
41:28

This episode concludes our “Conversation about Porn” 3-part series.  The four of us are return as a group around the virtual kitchen table to help give some perspective and thoughts on moving forward in a marriage after pornography use is discovered.

(Just a quick aside, we are aware that pornography isn’t just a problem husbands have.  There are also wives battling the urge to consume porn or read erotica.  In a future episode, we will tackle that.  But, for today, we are focusing on a marriage where the husband has been viewing porn.)

  1.  How can a wife capture ruminating thoughts to soothe her pain?
  2.  How can a wife find forgiveness and rebuild trust?
  3.  When should they resume sexual intimacy?
  4.  What we say to men who believe that a sexless marriage attributed to their temptation.

For our show notes, visit us at forchristianwives.com.

To make a donation, go to our GoFundMe page.

Aug 14, 2018
A Conversation About Porn (Part 2)
23:15

Pornography affects so many marriages--even Christian marriages. Although porn can be a problem for both men and women, we're going to spend some time looking at a situation we know many of our listeners can relate to.

Join us for the second of three episodes about a wife dealing with her husband's pornography use. In this episode, Bonny offers advice to other wives based on her own experience.

You can find show notes for this episode at http://forchristianwives.com/episode-39-a-conversation-about-porn-part-2

For the first part of the conversation, click here: http://forchristianwives.com/episode-38-a-conversation-about-porn-part-1/.

 

Jul 31, 2018
Episode 38: A Conversation About Porn (Part 1)
22:26

Join us for the first of three episodes about a wife dealing with her husband's pornography use. In this episode, Bonny chats with Chris about what she experienced in her marriage.

Be sure to check out the show notes on our website.

Jul 17, 2018
37 - Periods and Sex
21:47

In ancient Judaism, a woman was unclean while she was on her period.  She could only return to the marriage bed 7 days after her period stopped and only then after going through ritual cleansing. So, that means opportunity for sexual relations were not nearly as plentiful as it is for us since Christ came.

So, my friends, let’s talk about periods and sex

  • To start, let’s talk about female health in general, what are some things that affect our periods and are signs that a woman should go to her doctor?
  • Is there any reason to prohibit sexual relations while a wife is on her period according to Christian traditions?
  • What are some things to help make it less messy and more comfortable?

From the Bible

Leviticus 12: "Purification after childbirth."

Leviticus 15:19: "When a woman has her regular flow of blood, the impurity of her monthly period will last seven days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean till evening."

Leviticus 15:28: "When she is cleansed from her discharge, she must count off seven days, and after that she will be ceremonially clean."

Galatians 3:23-25: "Before the coming of this faith, we were held in custody under the law, locked up until the faith that was to come would be revealed. So the law was our guardian until Christ came that we might be justified by faith. Now that this faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian."

Resources

Learn more about Orthodox Judaism laws surrounding menstruation here.

The Unending Period (peri-menopause symptom) – Bonny's OysterBed7 

No More Period, Period. – Hot, Holy & Humorous

Finding a Good Gynecologist – Hot, Holy & Humorous

Sexual Intimacy & Your Period: Tips for Wives – Hot, Holy & Humorous

Support Us: GoFundMe

Jul 03, 2018
36 - Pregnancy and Sex
26:50

It's been a while since any of us ladies were pregnant, but we remember. Mostly. So today, we’re tackling an important issue for many of y’all out there: sex when you’re pregnant. Because when you’re carrying a child, your body changes in so many ways, and those changes impact sexual intimacy.

  1. What changes might a pregnant wife face with her libido?
  2. How does pregnancy influence the actual act of sex, like arousal and positions?
  3. What advice do you have for keeping sexual intimacy thriving during a pregnancy?
  4. What if sexual intercourse isn’t possible at some point? What can a couple do then?
  5. Does the Bible have anything to say about sex and pregnancy?

From the Bible

Genesis 1:27, Psalm 127:3, 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, 1 Samuel 12:24a

Resources

Sexual Positions for Pregnancy, or “My Belly’s In the Way!” – Hot, Holy & Humorous

Q&A with J: Pregnancy Bed Rest Makes Sex Forbidden – Hot, Holy & Humorous

"(You're) Having My Baby" – Paul Anka

Episode 15 – Listener Questions (with talking to husband about sex)

4 Ways Sex Can Comfort in Crisis or Grief – Hot, Holy & Humorous

Request

If Sex Chat for Christian Wives has blessed your marriage, please consider blessing us. We are asking for donations to help defray the cost of attending the October 2018 Declare Conference in Dallas, TX. This conference will serve as continuing education, helping us hone our skills as Christian communicators. If you've got some pocket change, please throw it into our cup. Sex Chat for Christian Wives GoFundMe Link.

Jun 19, 2018
35 - Listener Questions
40:07

We're answering your questions in this episode!

  1. How can a wife teacher husband about her body?
  2. What can a wife do if she is embarrassed about queefing?
  3. Is it possible to relax and enjoy sex when your kids are in the house?
  4. What can you do if you ask your husband about his needs and he responds with "I don't know"?

For more resources about these questions, check out our show notes.

Jun 05, 2018
34 - Food and Sex
28:57

We've encouraged you to use all your senses to better experience sex, and that includes the sense of taste. The Song of Songs is filled with reference to both food and sex. Does that mean we can combine the two? In this episode, we're going to talk about food and sex. You might say this episode is a real treat!

Find more info and resources in our show notes at http://forchristianwives.com/episode-34-food-and-sex/.

May 22, 2018
33-Getting in the Mood 2
29:52

The four wives revisit the topic of "Getting in the Mood." How to rev up your engine in anticipation of lovemaking. Each lady brings her favorite idea to the table and they all discuss.

Visit our website, forchristianwives.com, for more resources and links related to this topic.

Go Fund Me

If Sex Chat for Christian Wives has blessed your marriage, please consider blessing us. We are asking for donations to help defray the cost of attending the October 2018 Declare Conference in Dallas, TX. This conference will serve as continuing education, helping us hone our skills as Christian communicators. If you've got some pocket change, please throw it into our cup. 

Agape Love Box

Coupon Code:  SC2018 (50% off first month, exp. July 31, 2018)

May 08, 2018
32-Advice for Our Newlywed Selves
27:17

What do we wish we'd known when we first got married?

In this episode, the four wives chat about what they wish they'd understood earlier in their marriages and what they would like to advise wives now.

  • Sex is emotional, not just physical.
  • Assume love.
  • Pursue happiness for yourself.
  • Speak up.
  • Breastfeeding dampens sex drive.
  • Get along with your mother-in-law.
  • Your husband is a child of God just as you are.

Find more on our show notes, available at our website.

Apr 23, 2018
31-Listener Questions
34:40

Again, we address listener questions. Specifically:

  1. I would love if you could discuss how to get OUT of the mood (for those of us with husbands who just aren't that interested). I also long to know what it's like to be a wife who is loved and desired by her husband. I've tried making peace with the fact that this may not be the plan for my life.
  2. How do I get past my husband's sexual past? How do I let it go and not let it interfere with our marriage bed?
  3. Is it medically bad for you to have anal sex with your spouse? And do you believe it is wrong for man and wife to engage in anal sex?

For more show notes and links to resources mentioned in the episode, click over to forchristianwives.com.

Thanks for listening!

Apr 09, 2018
30-Lies Women Believe, Part 2
37:09

What are the lies that affect our marriages and limit our ability to enjoy sex and intimacy? And what are the truths that we need to embrace instead?

We address two more lies in this episode:

  • I am not enough.
  • Christian women should not be sexy.
Mar 26, 2018
UPDATED 29-Lies Women Believe, Part 1
21:31

What are the lies that affect our marriages and limit our ability to enjoy sex and intimacy? And what are the truths that we need to embrace instead?

The four wives talk about two lies in this episode:

  • Sex is for my husband, not for me.
  • My sexuality should look like my husband's.
Mar 12, 2018
28-Male Anatomy
28:01

Today, we’ll try to provide a tutorial on what we wives need to know about our husband’s body to have quality sexual intimacy in marriage.

  • Let’s first break down the actual makeup of male genitalia. What are the various parts down there, and what’s their purpose?
  • How would you characterize the relationship most men have with their penises? Why is that part so important to them?
  • We've talked about body image for women, but do men have those concerns as well? In what way?
  • What about giving your husband pleasure? What are some of the best spots and methods for arousing and pleasuring him in the marriage bed?
  • How can Scripture guide us in accepting, appreciating, and loving our husband’s body?
Feb 27, 2018
27-Celebrating One Year at the Kitchen Table
24:02

Welcome to the party! We are celebrating. It is Sex Chat for Christian Wives’ first anniversary! (Woohoo! Cue noisemakers!!!)

You have allowed us to chat with you for a whole year now.

  1. What have some of you had to say about us? We discuss iTunes reviews.
  2. We've talked about a lot of things this past year—what did we find most important?
  3. How have some of you helped us help others? We discuss your helpful comments.
  4. What do we hope to cover in 2018?

Be sure to check out our fabulous one-year GIVEAWAY at forchristianwives.com.

Feb 13, 2018
26-listener questions
28:37

This episode features your questions about love languages, male-centered sexual expectations, sexual fantasies, and oral sex.

Jan 29, 2018
25-Sex Is Funny
19:06

Sometimes as Christians, we can focus so much on the deeper meaning of sexual intimacy in marriage, on its emotional and spiritual aspects, that we miss a sense of playfulness—or even downright humor. But we’re not going to miss that today, because we’re going to talk about how real sex can be awkward, embarrassing, and even funny.

For more information about our anniversary episode giveaway, head to http://forchristianwives.com/anniversary-giveaway/.

Jan 15, 2018
24-Health and Sex **UPDATE**
25:00

*UPDATED AUDIO FILE*

Taking care of your health can lead to better sex and intimacy in your marriage.

Jan 02, 2018
23-Enjoy Your Marriage During the Holiday Season
22:06

We’re entering one of the busiest times of the year – the holiday season that runs from Thanksgiving Day (in the U.S.) through Christmas and on to New Year’s Day. For many women, this is also one of the most exhausting times of the year – those of us who are barely keeping all of our balls in the air will soon find that we’re supposed to juggle even more balls for the next 6 weeks or so!

The holidays often take a toll on women’s health and peace of mind. And the busyness they bring can affect our marriages. When stress, fatigue and activities increase, fun, sex and enjoyment in our marriages tend to decrease.

Fortunately, our marriages (and our physical and mental health) don’t have to suffer during the holidays. Today, we’re going to talk about things we can all do, starting now and for the next few weeks, to keep things fun, calm and a little bit sexy during the busiest time of the year.

We also have a free gift for you. We'd love for you to download this free ebook - 75 Ways to Love Your Life and Enjoy Your Marriage this Christmas - and use it to create a calm, joyful and relaxing Christmas season for you and your family.

Nov 27, 2017
22-Sexual Harassment #UsToo
37:47

Our conversation touches on a difficult topic: sexual harassment and assault. We share some of our own stories and talk about how sexually traumatic experiences affect our marriages, about what churches sometimes get wrong, and how we as Christian women can support each other in healing.

Nov 13, 2017
21-Talking with Our Kids about Sex, with Sheila Gregoire (Part 2)
24:16

How can we talk with our kids about their bodies and sex? We continue our conversation with Sheila Gregoire.

Oct 30, 2017
20-Talking with Our Kids about Sex, with Sheila Gregoire
27:56

Talking to our kids about sex can be super uncomfortable. So how do we do it?

Sheila Gregoire from To Love, Honor, & Vacuum joins us for a conversation about parents can feel confident talking with their children about puberty and sex. This episode is the first half of our conversation. The conclusion will be in our next episode.

Oct 17, 2017
19-Initiating Sex
22:59

The women talk about why initiation matters and share some ideas to help you get things going!

Oct 02, 2017
18-Listener Questions
31:56

We discuss listener questions:

  • Does anyone really have sex like they do in the movies?
  • Is role play okay in a Christian marriage, even if it involves imagining something that would be wrong to do in real life?
  • How can an older couple maintain sexual intimacy?
  • Is it sexual when my husband says he enjoys looking at other women’s feet?

See our show notes: http://forchristianwives.com/episode-18-listener-questions/

Sep 18, 2017
17-Body Image
33:21

Today’s topic is body image, and specifically how our thoughts and feelings about our bodies affect sex and intimacy in our marriages. We want to help you think about how body image might be affecting you and how you can take steps to change the way you think and feel about your body. 

1. What do we mean when we say “body image?” And what are some of the things that affect how a woman feels about her body?

2. So why are we talking about this? What does it have to do with sex and intimacy in our marriages?

3. What are some practical things that women can do to improve their body image, to begin to feel good about their bodies?

Sep 04, 2017
We Need Your Help
01:00

Sex Chat for Christian Wives needs your help! Listen in for more information.

Aug 16, 2017
16-Guy Talk: Men's Sexuality
29:13

J, Gaye, Chris, and Bonny talk about what marriage blogger husbands had to say about what they wish women understood about their sexuality.

Aug 14, 2017
15-Listener Questions
26:03

Gaye, Chris, and Bonny answer listener questions about menopause, communication, breastfeeding, spicing it up, and more.

Jul 31, 2017
14-Guy Talk: A Wife's Beauty
31:56

When a woman sees her body's flaws, it can be confusing when her husband tells her that she's beautiful. She wonders how he can see past her flaws.

Listen in as five marriage blogger husbands discuss a husband's perception of his wife's body. Then Gaye, Bonny, J, and Chris will weigh in.

Jul 17, 2017
13-Mismatched Sex Drives
25:46

Today we are exploring mismatched sex-drives and how your marriage can thrive in spite of it. We will be answering the questions:

  • What are some reasons that a mismatched season can arise in a marriage?
  • What do couples need to know about mismatched sex drives so that they work hard toward finding mutual agreement?
  • If you are in a mismatched season, does your spouse know of your needs? Here are some ways to help you talk about this with your spouse.
  • What are some specific things a couple can do to try to overcome the conflict of having mismatched sex drives?
Jul 04, 2017
12-Guy Talk: The Importance of Sex
26:00

Listen in as five marriage blogger husbands answer the question, "Why is sex important?"

Paul Byerly (The Generous Husband and The XY Code), Scott Means (Heaven-Made Marriage), Brad Aldrich (One-Flesh Marriage), Tom Walter (The Romantic Vineyard), and Doug Taylor (Big Guy from The Forgiven Wife) discuss the importance of sex.

After their conversation, Bonny, Gaye, J, and Chris chat about what the guys had to say.

Jun 19, 2017
11-Introducing the Podcast Team
31:26

Meet Gaye, J, Bonny, and Chris!

Why do we all blog about sex? Why are we podcasting? 

Jun 05, 2017
10-Tending the Garden
19:34

Despite making two recordings, we encountered sound difficulties that could not be completely fixed. About halfway through, you may hear some echo (reverberation). But hang in there! It will correct within a few minutes. Thanks for your support!

Our topic is tending your garden, “garden” being a euphemism for your lady parts that we borrowed from Song of Solomon. We’re talking specifically about hygiene, “landscaping,” and even decorating your garden.

  1. What have y’all learned about what constitutes good hygiene for a woman’s private parts?
  2. More and more wives are grooming their garden—by shaving, waxing, or other hair removal. What do you think about that trend, and why has it become so popular?
  3. Not only can you landscape but you can decorate your garden—permanent and temporary tattoos, piercings, and vajazzling. What do y’all think about this practice?
  4. What does the Bible have to say, if anything, about how we care for our lady parts?
May 24, 2017
Audio Difficulties
44

We're due for a podcast episode, but we've having audio difficulties. So we're postponing the next episode until we can work out the technical issues. We promise another interesting conversation around the virtual roundtable soon.

Thanks for staying tuned!

May 23, 2017
9-listener questions
21:27

Gaye, Bonny, and Chris tackle some questions from our listeners:

  • What if my husband says my feelings aren't valid?
  • How can I experience multiple orgasms?
  • What do I do about my husband's ED?
May 08, 2017
Sex Toys
24:49

About this episode . . .

Today we’re talking about marital aids, often known as sex toys. Is it okay for Christian couples to use sex toys?

When we think of sex toys, the vibrator is what usually comes to mind. Most of our conversations focuses on vibrators, but there are also things like nipple clamps, penis rings, dildos, butt plugs, masturbation sleeves, and more.

The Bible doesn’t say anything about sex toys. There is no “Thou shalt not use a vibrator,” nor is there a toy mentioned in the Song of Solomon. There is no specific instruction that we are to use, or not use, sex toys.

  1. Why do so many couples use sex toys in the marriage bed. What do they think it adds?
  2. There are good reasons to use sex toys, and there are good reasons to avoid them. So how can a Christian couple decide whether sex toys are acceptable for them to use? What are the questions we should be asking ourselves?
  3. If we decide to use them, is there anything we should be on the lookout for to be sure we are still using them in a way that is consistent with God’s plan for our sexual intimacy?

From the Bible . . .

What does God have to say about sex toys?

The Bible doesn’t say anything about sex toys. There is no “Thou shalt not use a vibrator,” nor is there a toy mentioned in the Song of Solomon. There is no specific instruction that we are to use, or not use, sex toys. A Christian couple should approach this issue prayerfully, in consideration of Biblical principles and with the goal of intimacy.

Resources . . .

Why I Don’t Use Sex Toys - Hot, Holy & Humorous

How Do I Eliminate Marital Aids and Orgasm Naturally? - Bonny’s OysterBed7

What If the Batteries Died? A Sex Toy Story - Bonny’s OysterBed7

3 Ways a Vibrator Can Help Marital Intimacy - The Forgiven Wife

Batteries Included: Sex Toy Use? - Intimacy in Marriage

Can Christians Use Sex Toys? - To Love, Honor & Vacuum

Apr 24, 2017
Exercise and Sex
23:48

About this episode

Today we’re talking about exercise and sex.  Wow, that sounds like a weird combination, doesn’t it? What in the world do those two things have to do with each other?

As it turns out, quite a bit. The benefits of regular exercise and physical activity for women are tremendous, and they include benefits for improving your sex life. Yes, that’s right. Today we’re going to make the case that exercising regularly is not only great for your health, it’s great for sex and intimacy in your marriage. We'll be talking about four areas in which it can make a difference, including your physical health, mental health, body image, and energy.

From the Bible

The Bible doesn't say much directly about the value of exercise, but it alludes to the importance of caring for our bodies and keeping them strong.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20New International Version (NIV) -  Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

Proverbs 31:17 (NIV) - She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

Resources

Regular Exercise for Busy Women - How to Make Time When You Don't Have Time

Put Your Body to Work to Help You Feel Beautiful

Feel Beautiful - Dust Off Your Exercise Shoes! 

4 Ways Exercise Can Improve Your Health - and Your Sex Life

Exercise Boosts Libido

 

Visit us at our website.

Apr 11, 2017
Women's Sexual Response
26:15

Episode 6: Women's Sexual Response

About this episode

Today we’re talking about women’s sexuality and sexual response.

  1. Why do we have so many misconceptions about women's sexual response?
  2. What do we know about women’s sexuality that might some women might not realize is normal?
  3. How can we help ourselves (and our husbands) better understand our sexual response?

From the Bible

What does God have to say about women's sexuality?

1 Timothy 5:14: "So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander."

2 Samuel 12:24: "Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and made love to her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The Lord loved him."

Song of Songs 5, especially verse 5: "I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the bolt."

Song of Songs 7, especially verse 10: "I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me."

Resources

The Forgiven Wife, Learn to Embrace Your Sexuality

The Forgiven Wife, Love Like a Woman: Should Your Sexuality Be Like Your Husband's?

The Generous Husband, Orgasmic Massage

To see an image representing the massive real estate of the internal clitoris, follow this link to wikipedia.

 

 

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Mar 27, 2017
Sex Scheduling
21:42

Episode 5: Sex Scheduling

 

About this episode

The busyness of life sometimes overtakes our schedules and sexual intimacy is pushed farther and farther down the list of priorities.  In this episode, we consider whether or not to leave sexual intimacy as an afterthought.

  1. What are some of the benefits of consistent lovemaking?
  2. How can wives overcome their reluctance to schedule sexual intimacy?
  3. What are some practical things we can think about to commit to scheduling lovemaking?

From the Bible

What does God have to say about prioritizing your time?

Proverbs 3:27: "Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act."

Luke 14:28-31: "Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, 'This person began to build and wasn't able to finish.'

"Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won’t he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand?"

1 Corinthians 7:5: "Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer."

Our Resources

Hot, Holy & Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design, Chapter 2, "Finding Time"

Hot, Holy & Humorous: How Often Should You Have Sex?

OysterBed7:  Sex Scheduling can lead to Romance

OysterBed7:  5 Questions to ask to Create a Sexual Encounter Schedule

OysterBed7:  I Love Knowing When Sex is Going to Happen

Other Resources

To Love, Honor, and Vacuum:  Sex Scheduling in Marriage

One Extraordinary Marriage: 3 Steps to Schedule Sex in Your Marriage

Today's Christian Woman:  Sex Scheduling

Also see Episode 1:  Getting in the Mood

 

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Mar 13, 2017
Stress and Sex
26:36

Episode 4: Stress and Sex

About this episode

In this episode we're talking about the ways that stress can affect women's interest in and enjoyment of sex. We focus on everyday sources of stress and the things that women can do to reduce the effects of stress in their lives. (And we acknowledge that some sources of stress require medical or other professional assistance, and that those are beyond the scope of this podcast.) The questions we discuss include:

  • How does stress affect libido and enjoyment of sex for women?
  • What can a woman do if stress is affecting her interest in or enjoyment of sex?
  • What are some strategies women can use to reduce everyday sources of stress

From the Bible

What does God have to say about stress?

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

...the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:6b

Resources

3 Questions that Can Reduce Stress and Increase Calm in Your Life - CalmHealthySexy

How Do You Respond to Stress in Your Marriage - The Forgiven Wife

4 Simple Ways to Reduce Stress in Your Life and Marriage - CalmHealthySexy

Find Peace so You Can Find Orgasm - OysterBed 7

De-Stress to Improve Libido - OysterBed 7

How Does Stress Affect Your Marriage - The Forgiven Wife

 

Visit our website. 

Feb 27, 2017
50 Shades of Here-We-Go-Again
26:05

About this episode

Out in theaters right now is Fifty Shades Darker, the second film based on Fifty Shades series. These novels have spurred a lot of conversation and questions about erotica. And we’re going to address that topic head-on.

1. Why do you think so many wives have been drawn to erotic romance stories? What about this genre appeals to them?

2. I've had wives tell me that reading these novels awakened their sexual desire. What’s wrong with that? Isn't that ultimately good for the sexual intimacy in their marriage?

3. Some say that these erotic stories are no different from porn, and others say they’re no different from romance novels. What do you think about either or both of those charges? How are they the same or different?

4. Let’s get practical: What is okay and what’s not okay in the world of BDSM?

5. What are your own greatest concerns about the Fifty Shades phenomenon?

From the Bible

Galatians 5:22-23: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

Colossians 3:19: "Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."

1 Corinthians 10:23: "'Everything is permissible,' but not everything is helpful.  'Everything is permissible,' but not everything builds up." (HSCB)

Resources

The Forgiven Wife: A Shaded View of Romance

The Forgiven Wife: Are Romance Novels Okay for Christian Women?

The Forgiven Wife: As Bad As Porn?

Authentic Intimacy: The Good News about Fifty Shades of Grey

OysterBed7: 50 Shades of Uncertainty?

OysterBed7: Libido Boundaries?

Hot Holy & Humorous: Why I Haven’t Talked about 50 Shades

Hot Holy & Humorous: Has the Mainstream Embraced BDSM? Should You?

Hot Holy & Humorous: Q&A with J: How about Bondage in the Bedroom?

Feb 14, 2017
Sex Positions
24:49

About this episode

Practical tips on positioning to help you find gain greater pleasure and intimacy in your marriage bed.

1. Why should wives be interested in learning new positions?
2. What positions are some women afraid to try?
3. Does the Bible have anything to say on the subject of sexual positions?
4. How can wives overcome their reluctance to expand their repertoire of sexual positions?
5. What’s a sexual position couples might not have tried that you recommend?

From the Bible

Song of Songs 7:13: "The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my beloved."

Song of Songs 2:6: "His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me."

Song of Songs 2:14: "My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely."

Resources

Christian Friendly Sex Positions

Journey to Surrender: "What's on Your Sex Menu?"

The Cookie Sutra

Liberator Wedge Pillow

Christian Friendly Sex Positions: "Packing the Suitcase"

Oyster Bed 7: "Sex Variety and Libido in Marriage"

Hot, Holy & Humorous: "Why Try More Than One Sexual Position"

 

Feb 13, 2017
Getting in the Mood
29:28

About this episode

How can we help ourselves be interested—and ready—for sex?

  1. What are some of the challenges women face when it comes to getting in the mood?
  2. What does the bible have to say about getting ready for sex?
  3. What are some things we can actually do to help ourselves look forward to sex?

From the Bible

What does God have to say about getting in the mood? One biblical wife we know well is the woman in the Song of Solomon. One thing she does is describe--in detail--the physical attributes of her husband.

My lover is dark and dazzling, better than ten thousand others!
His head is finest gold, his wavy hair is black as a raven.
His eyes sparkle like doves beside springs of water;
they are set like jewels washed in milk.
His cheeks are like gardens of spices giving off fragrance.
His lips are like lilies, perfumed with myrrh.
His arms are like rounded bars of gold, set with beryl.
His body is like bright ivory, glowing with lapis lazuli.
His legs are like marble pillars set in sockets of finest gold.
His posture is stately, like the noble cedars of Lebanon.
His mouth is sweetness itself; he is desirable in every way.
Such, O women of Jerusalem,  is my lover, my friend.

Song of Solomon 5:10-16 {NLT}

Resources

Calm.Healthy.Sexy: 5 Ways to Feel Sexier This Year

The Forgiven Wife: 6 Ways to Nurture Your Sexual Desire

The Forgiven Wife: Are You in the Mood for Sex?

OysterBed 7: 1 Simple Thing to Turn on Sexual Arousal and Intensify Orgasm

Feb 04, 2017