Thriving In Motherhood Podcast

By Jessica Jackson

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Description

In our daily lives as mothers it can be difficult to remember motherhood is the perfect place to foster our own growth. In each episode we recognize, celebrate, and encourage growth in our motherhood journeys as a community of mothers.

Episode Date
10 Things To Manage the Overwhelm [Episode170]
13:48
Today I'm sharing my Overwhelm Toolbox on the podcast. 10 things you can do right now to help manage stressful situations and navigate challenging life circumstances. They all just take a few moments and don't require anything fancy.
We've got this!
Jul 21, 2021
Being A Wise Steward of your Marriage, Home, and Time with Kathryn Voetberg [Episode 169]
55:58
For a long time now, I've been navigating through how to balance the responsibilities I have for my marriage, our children, our home, homeschooling, podcasting and business. Maybe some of you have been figuring that out too.
 
It seems like there would be a simple productivity solution that will help us fit it all in (the Thriving in Motherhood Planner does help A LOT!) but the reality is each day is full of different circumstances, opportunities, and challenges that need to be navigated. Pair that with the endless uniqueness of ourselves and the individuals in our families and there is no one-size-fits all answer for balancing all we have going on in life.
 
Our guest today is Kathryn Voetberg @nowthatimamother is the mother of four in four years, and is passionate about teaching women how to use systems and strategy to cultivate a life they love to live, one of the three Pillars of Thriving that we talk about so much on the podcast.
 
In todays conversation Kathryn shares the why and how-to of making God and marriage her top priorities in life. We discuss being a wise steward of our pockets of time and how for her that has compounded into a number of successful businesses with her husband @nowthatimafather. We also discuss how we stay anchored and confident in navigating our day to day life with God.
Jul 14, 2021
My Journey with Barefoot Shoes [Episode 168]
17:39

This week we are talking all things barefoot shoes - something that I've been deeply passionate about for years. For me, making the switch to shoes that have a wide toe box, zero drop heel (they are flat), thin soles (around 4mm thick), and super flexible (they roll up) has reduced my pain levels dramatically from all that happens to a body during pregnancy. We are covering the why to wear them, what to do to make the switch, where the kids and I have gotten our shoes and sandals, and my best tips for keeping it budget friendly.

Jul 07, 2021
Finding Clothes You Love to Wear with Corina Holden [Episode 167]
43:50

Have you ever struggled with getting dressed in the morning or knowing what to wear as a mom? In this weeks episode with Corina @frumpfighters we talk about getting rid of the overwhelm in our closets, knowing what to buy, and where to buy it.

Jun 30, 2021
Survival Mode 101 [Episode 166]
15:00

Whenever you find yourself in survival mode, there are some best practices to that help make the experience as good as it possibly can be. All of my old favorite principles as well as some new ones that we've learned this time around with my broken toe in this weeks episode. What are your best tips for being in survival mode?

Jun 23, 2021
4 Things I'm Excited About Right Now [Episode 165]
11:45

The 4th step on the path from Surviving to Thriving is Exploring - a step that can be easily missed as a mom. In today's episode I'm sharing 4 things that I'm exploring right now in my own life, just for FUN. What is something you are excited about right now?

Jun 16, 2021
Embracing the Unexpected with Makenzie Schmitt [Episode 164]
48:23

The pandemic changed many of our lives in big ways. Makenzie Schmitt @4msch shares her experience going from a full-time working mother with three children in daycare during the day to now a working-from-home homeschooling mother. She embraced learning so many new skills of home management, homeschooling, emotional regulation, self-awareness, and cooking, to name a few. I'd love to hear what inspires you from this conversation!

Jun 09, 2021
How Our Homeschool is Evolving [Episode 163]
29:12

Last year I shared what our homeschool looked like and while all of it is still true, we've been adding new layers to our days. This is a full update of all that we've added into our days and the systems that we've developed over the last year.

Jun 02, 2021
Establishing Healthy Money Habits with Chelsea Brennan [Episode 162]
35:52

This week on the podcast we are talking about something we've never talked about here: money. Whether you are looking for ideas about how to be more intentional about your own family finances or how to talk to your kids about money, we cover both in my chat with Chelsea Brennan @smartmoneymamas.

May 26, 2021
My #1 Tip for Turning Around a Bad Day [Episode 161]
18:56

So many things can be the catalyst for a bad day: not enough sleep, changing schedules or routines, grief, sickness, current events in the world. When I notice myself feeling grumpy or trying to hide from my kids (either behind a door or a screen), then I know it's time for an adventure. All the details for how we pull off a last minute adventure in this weeks episode.

May 19, 2021
How to Navigate the Library with Young Children [Episode 160]
15:19

Going to the library has been an integral part of my life and it has continued into motherhood. But there is a bit of a learning curve to make it a positive experience for everyone involved. This week I'm sharing my best tips and tricks for navigating the library with young children and when we read all the books we bring home. What are your best tips for tackling the library as a family?

May 12, 2021
The Power of Small Steps with Emily McDermott [Episode 159]
43:24

This weeks chat with Emily McDermott @simplebyemmy covers how to simplify the choices we make, how to make progress in small pockets of time, and the power of energy mapping in helping you be confident in navigating your days.

May 05, 2021
If You Have Faith There Is a Way with Jacquie Erickson [Episode 158]
44:15

Postpartum depression and anxiety is something that many of us have battled in our own unique way. One thing that kept @Jacquie Erickson going is resilience to just face another day. For her this skill was born from an earlier season in her life serving a 18 month mission in Taiwan where she didn't speak the language. A theme that the missionaries shared was "If you have faith, there is a way", a message that still rings true today. So many more gold nuggets and wisdom in this chat - I'd love to hear your biggest take-away.

Apr 28, 2021
How to Build Family Systems Even if You Think "I'm not a Structured Person" [Episode 157]
27:42
A great question came in from Mary, a long time listener of the podcast:
"I was thinking about the pillar of structure. What daily rhythms have you found to be effective for your kids? What tools do you use to figure those structures out?" This week we are diving deep into structure on the podcast and how to build systems that work for YOU and YOUR FAMILY and your individual personalities, situations, stories, strengths, and weaknesses. Let me know your biggest take-away!
Apr 21, 2021
How to Have a Successful Shopping Trip with Your Kids [Episode 156]
19:20

As more and more people are being vaccinated, the opportunities for leaving the house with our kids are increasing for many of us. If you are like our family we all felt a little bit rusty heading out out first. Fortunately it didn't take too long to remember old patterns for a successful shopping trip. All my secrets in this weeks episode. Let me know your biggest take-away!

Apr 14, 2021
Episode 155: Everything Happens for a Reason with Leila Mireskandari
55:05

This weeks chat with Leila Mireskandari @kidsgrowingcity encouraged me to have hope that each of our struggles and challenges can lead to something good for our lives. Her own unique experiences of growing up during a war and knowing hunger and discovering her daughter's food allergies have culminated in a passion for helping kids become connected to nature and know how to grow their own food. I'd love to know your big take-aways!

Apr 07, 2021
Fun Mom vs Smile Mom [Episode 154]
17:32

I've discovered that when I'm in a hard season I'm quick to try and compensate my perceived shortcomings by being "Fun Mom". Fun mom goes above and beyond her capacities and ends the day as grumpy mom - the very thing I was trying to get away from. But there is another way. Let me know you biggest take-away from today's episode.

Mar 31, 2021
From Surviving to Thriving to Soaring [Episode 153]
30:42

For so long my goal was to get out of surviving motherhood and start thriving. But I discovered something wonderful. Thriving - growing - isn't the end of the road. Once you've built your foundation with the three pillars of thriving, Soaring awaits you. This weeks episode shares the path and vision of what is possible.

Mar 24, 2021
The Daily Big Three [Episode 152]
20:05

The daily big three is my secret sauce when it comes to weekly planning - you can absolutely get away without it but it adds extra power when you incorporate it into you planning routine.

Mar 17, 2021
Finding Your Thing with Rachel Miller [Episode 151]
31:17

This weeks conversation with Rachel Miller @rachelmillermarketing is one that will get you looking back what you wrote about your gifts and talents when we were creating our visions together at the beginning of the year. Her story of how she was able to pivot her innate gifts from teaching into running businesses so she could be home with her children is sure to inspire. We chat about much more from mom guilt to adoption.

Mar 10, 2021
Routines Help Me Live in Alignment With Who I Am Every Day with Ashley Brown [Episode 150]
45:36

In this weeks chat with Ashley Brown we talk about how to shift from thinking about routines as something we have to do to get the house clean to "routines help me live in alignment who I am and connect with who I am every day." That is a powerful Thriving Thought that has already made a huge impact on my life in the last few weeks since we recorded this episode and I'm excited to see what it does for you!

Mar 03, 2021
The One Thing I Needed to Start Loving My Home [Episode 149]
18:30

Do you ever feel trapped in your home? I certainly did...until this one thing changed: a paradigm shift. All of a sudden I was back in my circle of influence. I was empowered to take action and make choices. I left my victim thinking behind and started actually creating a space where I love to be. What is a favorite space in your home that you just love being in?

Feb 24, 2021
How to Start Something New with Madeline Casey [Episode 148]
50:17

Today I'm chatting with @madelinecasey about how to start something new. This is a packed episode covering the practical realities, fears, things that hold us back as well as what we can do about them to move forward and explore.

 

How Can I Support You?

Feb 17, 2021
How to Make Space to Figure Out What is Important to You with Madeline Casey [Episode 147]
51:06

We are nearing the end of our Essentialism book club discussion with covering the important idea of how do we, as moms, make space to figure out what is important to us. Life fills up so fast - especially when we consider the needs and wants of everyone in our household. But what is essential? Join Madeline Casey and I as we get to the root of making space for things that matter most to us in practical ways.

Feb 10, 2021
How to Live in the Present with Madeline Casey [Episode 146]
43:17

Do you feel the drive to just squeeze one more thing into your day? One more load of laundry? One more phone call? One more store? I know I sure can fall into that trap, completely erasing all the margin into my day. Now I'm feeling rushed because I didn't budget for the diaper blow out or children wanting to help me make dinner. But after reading Essentialism I'm learning to say no to "just one more". The unexpected result is the ability to just live in the present, and that brings so much joy into my life. I'm able to just enjoy what is going on in front of me. 

Feb 03, 2021
Choose Your Priorities or Someone Else Will with Madeline Casey [Episode 145]
41:15
This weeks focus from my Essentialism book club discussion with Madeline Casey is to Choose Your Priorities or Someone Else Will. We tackle some tough realities in this chat and it left us with lots to think about. But it didn't stop there. The breakthroughs led to me figuring out what mattered to me and making changes in our home which in turn allowed me to have both a bigger impact and and be less frazzled by the end of the day. 
Jan 27, 2021
Protect the Asset with Madeline Casey [Episode 144]
36:55

Today Madeline Casey and I are kicking off a five part series discussing the book Essentialism by Greg Mckeown. To start off we are diving deep into the concept of Protecting the Asset - which means YOU. We recorded this series back in November which means I've been thinking about these chats for months and it's been changing me. I'm thrilled I can finally share them with you! 

Jan 20, 2021
Our Visions for 2021 [Episode 143]
17:18

This week we are celebrating all of YOUR hard work in creating your vision for 2021! Listen in and be inspired by mothers in this community share their words and what it means to them. I learned so much from all of you and I'm excited to use your insights and epiphanies moving into 2021.

Jan 13, 2021
How Adding Color Creates Clarity in Planning with Pamela Moose [Episode 142]
40:05

This week we are talking all about how to use color to make planning as simple as possible. Adding color is not something I do well so I chatted with an expert, Pamela Moose (my mother!!!) about the why, what and how.

Jan 06, 2021
The Power of your Choices [Episode 141]
15:04

I recently reflected on all the things that I chose to do. After writing out my list I was amazed to discover that it was my little, daily choices that built the life that I'm living right now. Not my external circumstances. Not the hard things that are just part of life. But my choices. This was an empowering realization that gives me hope and confidence that I can continue to create a life that I love - and you can too. Lots of encouragement and actionable steps in this weeks episode.

Dec 30, 2020
God Wants to Help [Episode 140]
06:44

This Christmas season I've been reflecting on how God wants to help me in my life. I share some of my thoughts and insights on this weeks podcast and I hope it gives you hope and something to ponder about in your own life.

Dec 23, 2020
Add Novelty to Go from Good to Great [Episode 139]
12:45

Did you know that novelty - new experiences and deviances from our normal routine - is actually a need to live a life with energy and enthusiasm? In this episode we talk about how to harness the power of novelty this holiday season and how to make it part of 2021.

Dec 16, 2020
How to Create a Habit when You're in Survival Mode [Episode 138]
17:09

I LOVE habits and routines, but when my schedule is unpredictable and frequently interrupted it has been so hard to make anything stick. This week I'm sharing what I've finally figured out about creating habits when I'm in survival mode and what you can do to have success with your habits when you are in a hard season.

Dec 09, 2020
How to Create a Holiday Season Everyone Enjoys (Including you!) [Episode 137]
23:17

This week I am sharing how to create a holiday season everyone enjoys - including you there! It is possible to have a rejuvenating holiday with your children by taking a few minutes to figure out what you want, what you don't want, and what your limitations are. All the details and our Thanksgiving last week as a case study are in this weeks episode.

Dec 02, 2020
Simplify to Soar [Episode 136]
17:39

At the beginning of October I was waking up to the fact that I've been on autopilot for most of 2020. I've been doing things without much thought to try and keep up and meet needs in every aspect of my life. And I was weary. As I pondered what to do about my situation, the phrase "Simplify to Soar" came to mind. In this weeks episode I share all about what that phrase means to me and what I've done to create space in my life to be able to evaluate how I'm using my time and energy and make the switch from autopilot to intentional. I also have a special invitation in there for you to join me. I'd love to hear who's in it with me!

Nov 25, 2020
How to Make Progress on Your Goals when You're Exhausted [Episode 135]
27:55

When I asked the moms at the Create a Life You Love class last week what was the biggest barrier to making their goals happen the majority answered: Exhaustion! After a incredibly unusual year (plus all the other stuff in our personal lives that has nothing to do with the pandemic), we are all feeling a bit tired. But the reality is - I was tired before 2020 (you probably were too). In fact I've been exhausted most of the last seven years since becoming a mom. It's just reality with pregnancies, sleepless nights (either from feedings or nightmares or potty training or sickness). But I've still been able to make progress on my goals and make a life I dreamed up years ago what I live every day and love it. You absolutely can too. All my secrets in this weeks episode.

Nov 18, 2020
Our Favorite Family Dinner Ritual [Episode 134]
08:45

This week I'm sharing our absolute favorite family dinner ritual that turns even the craziest night around. This is a zero prep, major fan favorite that gets everyone running to the table (win!). I started it out of desperation one night and it's stuck around and become something even more wonderful that I could have imagined. Listen to this *short episode and give it a try tonight!

Nov 11, 2020
From Chaos to Calm with Steph The Secret Slob [Episode 133]
51:42

Have you ever felt like you were drowning in clutter and chaos at home? This weeks chat with Steph @the_secret_slob is sure to bring you both validation and encouragement. Steph shares how she was able to apply the @the_flylady system in her own life to develop habits and routines that keep her home clean. But as she points out - it was never about having a clean house. After you listen come share your biggest take-away here in the comments!

Nov 04, 2020
Owning the Pivot into Motherhood with Elizabeth Jacox [Episode 132]
43:54

This weeks chat with @elizabethjacox_ is a story of six years of internal struggle shifting from a life in academia researching stem cells to becoming a full time stay at home mom with four young children. It was a major pivot point in her life, and it wasn't until she decided to own that choice that she could let go of feelings of failure and embrace the beautiful life around her. This conversation is sure to both validate the life altering (and maybe slightly traumatic) experience of becoming a mother and inspire ownership of the incredible path.

Oct 28, 2020
Embracing Your Individual Journey with Angela Red Elk Laughlin [Episode 131]
52:17

This weeks conversation with Angela Red Elk is inspiring and eye-opening. Angela shares her perspective as a Native American healing from intergenerational trauma, as well as the importance of knowing who you are and where you fit in the world, and how this has all impacted her motherhood.

Oct 21, 2020
Why I Don't Use a To-do List - and What I Do Instead [Episode 130]
13:53

Are you a to-do list person? I know they are popular tool for getting things done, but I don't use them. Why? I go into all the reasons in this week's episode along with what I do instead. The result? Clarity, major progress in a small amount of time, ability enjoy spending time my kids instead of feeling interrupted, and I'm able to "get it all" done and have a break. Have a listen today for a simple alternative to the ever growing to-do list!

Key Points:
Pros of a To-do List: get everything out of your brain into one place. 
Cons of a To-do list:
  • Tells your brain you need to do all of it right now (possible exception - when you have a major deadline like moving and there is a lot to do right now)
  • Creates unhealthy precedent that checking everything off your list is most important
  • Not an end in sight. Easy to end the day looking at all that isn't accomplished with hopes of being faster/more efficient tomorrow
  • Recipe for exhaustion and feeling like you are on a treadmill. 
  • Looking at all those things every time you need to do something is making a ton of micro decisions which leads to decision fatigue. It is real and has a huge impact on the rest of your day - even your child asking you a question.
  • You don't get a real break
 
What I do instead:
  • Plan My weeks, not my days
  • Start by choosing my big 3 for the week
  • Break down into context based todos
  • It is a finite list I make on Sunday in my weekly planning. I choose what is most important this week and some nice tos, and let the rest go
  • When I have a moment, look at the context - just a handful of things so only making a few choices
  • make massive progress in a small amount of time
  • End the week usually checking off most everything - if not everything. Get a break and rest in my brain. No treadmill.
  • Pick priorities again next week.
Oct 14, 2020
How Do You Juggle it All? [Episode 129]
30:32

We all know "doing it all" is a myth. And yet how many of us still drive ourselves to exhaustion trying to check off all the to-dos on our lists? How many of us keep pushing ourselves further than our limits? Well in this episode I share some principles and practices that help me juggle all the needs of my family and many of our wants. And spoiler alert - I don't have it all figured out. BUT I have been around the block a few times of complete burn out and I'm learning to stop myself before I drive straight into survival mode.

Oct 07, 2020
5 Steps to Tackle Overwhelm and Sleep Again [Episode 128]
14:44

Do you ever have problems sleeping because your mind is racing? For me it is a sure sign I'm overwhelmed. In this episode I talk about the 5 steps I use to face the overwhelm head on and create space and calm in my brain.

Key Points from this Episode:

Steps I take when I'm feeling overwhelmed:

  1. Recognize that I'm feeling overwhelmed. Usually this means I can't sleep because my mind is racing.
  2. Brain dump everything in my head. Either mind map or just write it out in a list.
  3. Categorize my brain dump into three areas: single tasks (quick wins!), projects (multiple steps to complete), to research (need to learn more before I know what my next step is).
  4. Tackle a few quick wins to build momentum
  5. Identify the one or two pressing projects causing my stress and focus on them

After a week or two of working on these pressing projects I'm ready for a long term planning session.

Sep 30, 2020
Loosening the Grip of Anxiety with Annie Stoker [Episode 127]
44:06

This weeks chat with Annie Stoker @annielynnfavoritethings is one that literally had us both in tears. As a young mom with two children, Annie shares how she is proactively working to diminish the effect that anxiety has on her life and the specific things she has been learning. She also shares deeply personal moments where she knows that God has been there strengthening her through the hard time and growing pains of motherhood. This is a powerful conversation that you won't want to miss.

Sep 23, 2020
Scripts to Help You Advocate For Yourself [Episode 126]
26:16

Today I want to share some scripts that will help you advocate for yourself in a couple ways. We'll talk about when you are discovering things about yourself and you need to have discussions with someone you trust as well as how to ask for help.

Key Points from this Episode:

Sep 16, 2020
I am a Committed Mom with Mary Caplin [Episode 125]
46:44

Today I’m talking with Mary Caplin, mother of two and a certified doula. She shares some incredible defining moments in her mothering journey. She talks about paradigm shifts and some sacred moments of grieving through a miscarriage.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Being a mother who is committed is more important than any "accomplishments."
  • Thinking about your commitment to you kids helps you recognize the good that you are doing in your daily life.
  • We can't be perfect 100% of the time, but we can be pretty good at commitment!
  • Learning from other moms around you can help you relax into what you are doing.
  • Letting go and giving our problems over to God will allow Him to carry you.
  • Let go of the negative and it will make room for the hope to come in.
  • You are a woman. You are strong. You are a mother. Just by virtue of being a mother, you are blessed with intuition. It's a real thing and you will be able to make the best decisions that are best for you and your family.
  • Motherhood is vulnerability and strength together.
  • Learning how to go through a grieving process with your spouse is unifying.
  • Speak your feelings out loud in your car alone. Write it out. Talk to a spouse or other loved ones. Let the feelings out to be able to process them.

Sep 09, 2020
So What Does Thriving Mean Anyway? [Episode 124]
27:42

Today I’m talking about what thriving is! What the definitions of it are, how it has evolved over time for me and what it can mean for you.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Thriving used to be this desperate wish that I hoped was possible for me during motherhood.
  • Thriving is all about growing. Think about plants, if they are growing and doing well, we often call it thriving.
  • When things are going well, if you are thriving, you are preparing for future challenges. (Ex: building routines, making freezer meals)
  • Life is not split up into either you are thriving because things are going well or you're surviving and miserable because things aren't going well.
  • Having a solid base of the 3 pillars (See Episode 115) gives you the space to live your personal mission in this life.
  • Distraction and overwhelm can come easily without the base of the pillars.
  • The goal is to take the fear out of that time when you are not thriving.
  • Remember to have friends in motherhood! (See Episode 97 and Episode 98)

Sep 02, 2020
Why (and how!) I Don't Stress About Homeschool [Episode 123]
34:48

Today I’m talking about why I don't stress about homeschooling and how I do that. There are some very practical tips and some thoughts that I have that help me not totally freak out.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • There are going to be interruptions, so plan for them!
  • Make food accessible to all your kids that they can reach and take care of those needs on their own. Keep carrots on the bottom shelf in the fridge. Make triple batches of muffins and keep them in the freezer.
  • Have special toys like play dough or animals from the dollar store that get pulled out for younger kids during the school hours so they can be happy while you work with the older kids.
  • If you're using manipulatives with older kids, have enough for the youngers to play with the same kind. If your older kids are using notebooks, have one for your youngers to color in and use during the same time. This lets them feel included in what you are already doing.
  • One of my favorite things about homeschooling is that it allows for the kids to be intentionally involved in the daily household life. I wanted them to have time to help with the dishes, laundry, food prep, etc. We work that into our day and it's part of school for us!
  • It's hard to take the time to teach them the household tasks, but it's an investment in the future for all of us.
  • Make a clipboard (see resources below) with the have-tos for your kids so you aren't the one always dictating what's happening next. Directing to the clipboard makes it one boundary to keep rather than needing to keep boundaries separately for math, and reading, and handwriting, and a chore, etc.
  • Find a system for your papers and notebooks and pencils and pens. I like having one bucket just for notebooking (century and nature in resources below) with the notebooks and writing utensils for that activity that stays out of reach until we are notebooking again.
  • We lock away a lot of our homeschool materials as a training tool to help kids understand that not everything is available all the time.
  • Homeschool is not about school. It's about a lifestyle.
  • Choose curriculum that fits the priorities you have for your kids! (see below for what I use with my kids)
  • Trust that the child is a whole person! They have everything they need to be able to become who they are. Our job is to help cultivate the room to grow. We can't choose the timing. Take a breath and know it'll be okay!
  • I don't feel responsible for creating all these activities that go with homeschooling or all of these amazing experiences. I create space that lets them play out and explore the things that really caught their attention.
  • Trust that time is a great teacher. Trust that space is a great teacher.
  • What do you love? Do more of that. What do you not love? Why? Do less of that. Problem solve! What can I do to make this easier on myself?
  • It's going to be messy and that's okay!
  • Build in some structure so the kids can help with the household stuff so you can have some time for things you want to do too.

Aug 26, 2020
Lessons Learned From the End of Pregnancy [Episode 122]
30:40

Today I'm sharing with you some lessons I learned from the last week of pregnancy and the first few weeks of postpartum. Our experiences may be different, but the process is what I want you to focus on with today's episode. That process can be applied to other circumstances in your life (even if it isn't pregnancy)!

Key Points from this Episode:

  • The Soul part of Pillars of Thriving (Soul, Scope, & Structure) makes or breaks if you are suffering in misery whether circumstances are great or difficult.
  • When I'm uncomfortable, my first thoughts are to wish that the circumstances will change. Ex: I'm so tired of being pregnant. I'm tired all the time. I wish this baby would just come already!
  • Write out what is in your circle of influence and your circle of concern. Try to let go of what is in your circle of concern. Make peace with what you can.
  • It's okay to feel sad about something that you wanted and you're not getting.
  • Being okay with being sad about it opened the door for me to actually be able to give my timing over to the Lord.
  • Bad days don't last as long as I think they do. There will be an end to the hard days, even if it's just for another day or two. Enjoy the good moments when you have them!
  • Be present with what you can do (even if it isn't much) and find peace with it because you can know it will change again before you know it.
  • Let yourself have a break from the bad days emotionally, because they will happen physically too!
  • I don't have to assign any meaning to how I'm feeling. At all. Neither do you.
  • Take a break and flip the dialogue in your head if you're stuck in a negative cycle.
  • If you can respond in the moment rather than being focused on what already happened or what will happen, it can allow you to find joy in the given moment.

Aug 19, 2020
The Power of Actually Writing Down my Morning and Evening Routines [Episode 121]
15:54

Today I’m talking about the power of actually writing down your morning and evening routines. Finally doing this one little thing has been hugely transformative for my life. Also, I'm sharing big announcements about the Thriving in Motherhood 2021 Planner and the Create a Life You Love founding members beta program experience.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Having the morning routine and evening routine written down help move us along when our brains are not working as effectively as they can be.
  • Be an advocate for yourself (see Episode 115) and figure out what will prepare you to renew yourself.
  • Having the list helps me have a rejuvenating evening rather than mindlessly consume.
  • Write it down! Write down what you want to do before the kids wake up, what you want to do before lunch, what you want done before kids go to bed, and what you want to do before you go to bed that will restore you.
Aug 12, 2020
Lower Your Expectations and Love it with Tiana Woodbury [Episode 120]
43:24

Today I’m talking with Tiana Woodbury, mother of two boys. She shares her experiences with her first child having a club foot and what that process has been like for her. She talks about how to live with joy and make her own joy. She shares how she has learned to lower her expectations and love it!

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you have to adjust your plans quickly to make the most of the situation.
  • With the help of other moms and doctors you can learn what you need to in order to make the best decisions for your family.
  • Sometimes God gives us a gift of interest in things that we will one day need to know to help our children.
  • Wherever you are, you are in charge of your happiness.
  • Lower your expectations, but LOVE it.
  • As a mom, give yourself some grace period.
  • You are here to facilitate your children's experience, and sometimes we have different plans for our kids. Choosing your battles to let them explore their opinions can be freeing.
  • Kids just want to be involved in the little things. See if you can find little ways to involve your kids in what YOU like so your bucket can be filled throughout your day.
  • If you want to start with flowers, start with Zinnias or Sunflowers.
  • Having a plan for something small to do every day keeps things exciting and moving forward.
  • Warm toes are happy children. Invest in good shoes and outdoor time stays much more enjoyable for everyone.
  • Consider winter (or major inside times) as a good chance to research and prepare for the next time you can go outside and put your research to use.
  • Way exceeding your low expectations feels so much better than shooting SO high and being disappointed.
  • When you move to a new place (temporarily or permanently) try to become a local. Explore the town and find the things that make that new place unique.
  • Learn from your failures and don't give up!

Aug 05, 2020
Getting Ready for Baby (or Any Other Life Change) [Episode 119]
32:16

Today I’m sharing with you the very specific steps that I took to prepare for a major life change. This can apply to a new baby, a move, or any other major life change.

Key Points from this Episode:

  1. Notice your fears and anxieties. Write down thoughts.
  2. Create a new road map to work from - have a paradigm shift so you can operate from your circle of influence.
  3. Use your personal super powers to solve your problems and create a vision for how things can go.
  4. Share that vision with your family and step into the leadership role, building in systems and communication to support you through the time of change.
  5. Talk with your spouse or trusted friend when you get to stuck points in your thinking and aren't sure how to overcome certain fears or challenges
  6. If you have had an experience like this in the past, answer the question: "What was really traumatic or didn't go well that I don't want to repeat this time? What went really well that I do want to repeat this time?"
  7. Use what is hard now to intentionally practice and prepare for the challenges ahead.
  8. Create a false (and immediate) deadline to see what your absolute necessities are. It should be a shorter list that you can then focus your time and energy on before returning to the nice-to-dos.
  9. Think through what you need now and will need in the future. Make peace with the fact that taking care of yourself will allow you to keep taking care of others. Talk through specifics with your spouse so you can both be prepared for you to take that time.

Jul 29, 2020
Peace, Joy and Contentment: A Two Year Growth Journey and One Simple Change with Jeni Awerkamp [Episode 118]
51:52

Today I’m talking with Jeni Awerkamp, who was also my first interview back on Episode 1! We talk about how things have changed over the past two years and how Jeni has changed her experiences by changing her thoughts.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Give ourselves space and grace when we are in transitional times in our lives. Recognize that we will have more stable times to come.
  • Our thoughts have a huge role in us feeling well. Being able to shift the unhelpful thoughts can change our entire reality.
  • Make the decision to act, not be acted upon.
  • Tell yourself "you will no longer think negatively of yourself and your situations."
  • Things happen that genuinely make you feel overwhelmed, but you can still control your thoughts around this. Replace the "I can't do this" thoughts with "There is a lot do here, but I can do it one step at a time."
  • Replace "I'm all alone" with "I am never alone. Help is one phone call away."
  • We don't have to be good at making mistakes, but we can be good at apologizing.
  • Take things one day at a time, but in the realm of not worrying about something that happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow. Enjoy the moment you are in.
  • Awareness of your thoughts is the first HUGE step to being able to change your thoughts.
  • Ask yourself "What can I do?" and "How can I get help to get this done?" as you catalog your anxieties or concerns to see how to make your concerns something more concrete.

Jul 22, 2020
Establishing and Living Our Family Values [Episode 117]
14:20

Today I’m talking about our family values. How I came up with them and how we implement them in our household. These help my family catch the vision and the values that help us get to where we want to go.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Core values are unifying and keep our families together heading in the same direction.
  • Turn your values into a family cheer!
  • We try to "catch" the kids living these values and talk about it at dinner together. What we look for, we see more often in our lives!
  • Creating this unity and culture will give them a gift as they leave the home that they will know that they have a place they were part of something and belong no matter what.
  • Craft the values together as a family, or decide ahead of time and present them to your kids.

Jul 15, 2020
Making Yourself the Top Priority with Jessica Ralston [Episode 116]
47:20

Today I’m talking with Jessica Ralston. She's a mother of six, homeschools, and she and her husband both run businesses out of their home. Today she shares her journey of going from a place of chaos and just surviving to taking some intentional steps to regain her personal power and take care of herself and, in turn, create a beautiful life for her family.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • The decision of being more intentional with physical health, can lead to being more intentional with other things. It builds momentum.
  • Being in a victim or comparison mindset makes things feel worse.
  • Be selfish. Take care of yourself. Everyone is going to be okay if you take a few minutes to take care of yourself.
  • Shift your mindset to abundance, and gratitude, and being proactive.
  • Our kids need to know that we are human people with needs and passions.
  • We are our only advocates for our own needs. We need to take that responsibility seriously for ourselves.
  • We don't have control over our kids, but we do have control over our own actions.
  • Looking at the big picture can help put the small challenges and imperfections in perspective.
  • When you're able to tackle your daily life with more joy and competence, then you're able to think more into the future about the bigger things that you can achieve too.
  • Shift from an Parents vs Children mindset, into a Team mindset within the family. It allows everyone to work together and play together better.
  • Try to decipher the big things from the little things.
  • Learn your children's love languages because when the kids feel loved, they are more willing to listen and have hard conversations.
  • Consider staggering bedtime to allow some individual time with each age group of your children.

Jul 08, 2020
The Three Pillars of Thriving [Episode 115]
30:26

Today, I'm sharing with you something I've been working on for years, which is the Three Pillars of Thriving and the Three Identities associated with them. This episode explains how you can actually thrive in any season of motherhood.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • The struggle between knowing that we are made for motherhood and feeling like it is REALLY hard is where these pillars grew out of.
  • How we're think about life and ourselves is what influences our reality.
  • Take time to notice where you are on these three pillars.
  • The pillars take you from surviving to thriving.
  • Pillar 1 - Scope is having a purpose, or intention, for your life.
  • In the scriptures, we see examples of women with callings and purpose that have nothing to do with raising children. God has something else for them to do. God sees us as whole people.
  • When you have Scope, it helps you go from feeling lost or stuck in the mundane to feeling confident and fulfilled and living with meaning and purpose.
  • There are skills and systems involved in Scope to take you from one end of the spectrum to the other.
  • Pillar 2 - Structure gives you a pattern or organization for reducing the mental and physical chaos in your life.
  • This involves creating a strong family and recognizing that you are part of that family. Structure allows you to have the head space to think beyond the bare-bones essentials.
  • Pillar 3 - Soul is looking at your total self. Your spirit, body, mind, and connection with God.
  • This is where you can start to feel peace and joy and gratitude. This is where you are taken care of, where you have energy. Where we're filling our buckets so we can overflow into other people. This is where we are breaking down limiting beliefs.
  • When any one of these three is being neglected, then things don't feel right.
  • The model of Be, Do, Have teaches us that we need to focus on being one way before we do to then have the desired result.
  • Identity 1 - Visionary - Someone who does thinking and planning about the future with imagination, creativity, and wisdom. Able to have dreams or visions (literally or metaphorically). Someone who seeks personal revelation from God.
  • Identity 2 - Leader - Someone who has the art of motivating and connecting and empathizing with people to help them act towards achieving a common goal. Working towards putting people first while making your vision a reality.
  • Identity 3 - Advocate - Someone who calls to one's aide. One who pleads the cause of another. In this case, you need to be your own advocate to ask for and make the space for the things you need. Advocate to yourself, for yourself to become aware of your thoughts and how you're interacting in the world.

Jul 01, 2020
Living Authentically as a Mother with Annette Pimentel [Episode 114]
46:22

Today, I'm talking with Annette Pimentel. She's a mother of six children and an author of children's non-fiction literature. Today we're talking about how she learned to embrace who she is to be an authentic mother and to use her strengths and talents to create a culture in her home that allows her to fully be her as well as to use her strengths to solve problems.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Knowing the story of why you made a decision during a hard time helps form who you are.
  • Being a mom doesn't mean you can't be authentic to yourself. Sometimes the best solutions we come up with are the ones that come from our core of passions and talents.
  • The things we care about can be the center of your mothering. Those things can become your toolkit for being a mother.
  • It takes creativity to truly be who we are and still solve those parenting problems, but they are the most authentic.
  • Become friends with the librarians! They are an amazing resource and love seeing people who care about books.
  • Books and stories (and the conversations you have about them) can help you maintain closeness with your children as they grow older.
  • Check out books and read them before you read them to your kids if you think they might have a viewpoint that is uncomfortably different from your own so you can think through things you can talk about together.
  • Stories about everyday people who can change the world are amazing. You don't have to be a famous person, or even particularly smart. You don't have to be rich. You just have to feel passionately about something and you can change the world!
  • The family routines can allow your family to feel safe even when circumstances change. Your home becomes the safe haven when life around gets crazy.

    Resources

    This site contains affiliate links to products. We may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.

Jun 24, 2020
How I Finally Learned to Clean My House! [Episode 113]
37:50

It's taken me years to figure out the logistics of creating and maintaining a clean home. Today, I'm taking you through the very practical aspects of how to declutter and how to clean.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Getting rid of things does not equate to having a tidy home space.
  • Creating a home for each thing (read: containers) helps the space feel neater. The Dollar Tree is a great option to find cheap containers.
  • Use containers to help support your habits and routines.
  • Find a routine for a pick up time at some point in your day. (We like 4pm) It lets me ignore a lot of the mess and enjoy the moments of the day knowing that there is a set time that things will be put in order again.
  • Find one small step at a time for keeping an area clean. Start with practicing having everyone clear their plates after breakfast. Then add it loading dishes in the dishwasher. Then add in unloading the dishwasher. Adjust locations of things so kids can complete tasks. Adjust the time you have your meals so you have energy to handle the set up and clean up of the meal. Etc.
  • Link a new habit to an existing one. If tooth brushing is well-established, add a "tooth brush tidy" and clean up their room when they finish brushing teeth. In our house, this includes (1) put away clothes that are out, (2) put away books, (3) put away toys, (4) put trash in the trash can.
  • Hannah Rust teaches all about homemade cleaners and store-bought cleaners and real time cleaning in her course (see resources). It took away my paralysis surrounding cleaning.
  • Having enough cleaning cloths makes it possible to have enough to last cleaning all week so you only have to wash towels once a week.
  • Wipe down spaces as you're using them. Keeping cleaning supplies in the bathroom makes those spare moments usable.

Resources

This site contains affiliate links to products. We may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.

Simple Green Cleaning Course Use Discount Code THRIVING15 for 15% off!

Atomic Habits by James Clear

Cotton Washcloths

Jun 17, 2020
Deciding to do Things Differently with Hannah Rust [Episode 112]
56:32

Today I'm talking with Hannah Rust. She's a mother of almost 3 children. We talk about when she realized that she can do things differently than the way she had always done them and differently than the way others have done thing around her. This lead to her decision to live very intentionally.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Choosing an unmedicated and natural birth for her second pregnancy was one of turning point decisions that lead to intentionality.
  • Speak more kindly to yourself!
  • Recognize that we cannot define ourselves simply by what we get done in the day.
  • Just because you have done something one way does not mean you cannot change your mind!
  • Having a strategic plan for money prevents it from disappearing unknowingly.
  • Catching yourself when you start negative self-talk is the first step to changing it. Replacing it with a phrase like "I am enough" can combat it.
  • Understanding where you are on the path from Surviving to Thriving allows you to name where you are and understand that it's a season that can and will change. Changing seasons in the backwards direction does not mean you are slipping or failing. It's a cycle!
  • Being tidy is a skill, not a personality trait.
  • Clearing out the mess and opening up the time that you used to take to deal with your mess opens the door for you to ask the bigger questions about how you want to spend your time intentionally.
  • Getting rid of the clutter allows you to actually clean, not just spending all the time putting away the clutter.
  • Our kids are human beings. We are not better than them just because we are older and bigger and know more. They deserve respect just like another adult or friend does.
  • How we label our children is how they end up turning out. We see what we focus on.

Resources

Simple Green Cleaning eCourse

Connect with Hannah

Instagram: @daydancer

Website: daydancer.com

Jun 10, 2020
The Importance of Taking Care of Ourselves First So We can Continue to Give with Britney Grover [Episode 111]
40:24

Today, I'm talking with Britney Grover! She shares her story about the amazing change that has happened in her over the last year as she has learned some tools to help her with her mental health. She's learned how to take care of herself first so she can continue to pour into others.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Major life changes, like having a baby or having a spouse come home for deployment can trigger major emotions.
  • Finding the right counselor who can teach the baby steps that you need are key to starting to heal.
  • Remember that "thoughts aren't real." It can help calm the anxiety about things that haven't happened.
  • Figure out what things are non-negotiable for your mental health. Examples: prayer, scripture study, exercise, and sleep.
  • Let go of "should." Maybe things "should be" exactly as they are.
  • If you need help, keep looking for the right counselor until you find somebody who clicks with you.
  • "The God that I've come to know is the God that's telling me to accept myself and telling me to love myself as I am, where I am, with what I'm doing, with what I'm accomplishing, exactly where I am." - Britney Grover

Resources

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

Connect with Britney

Website: ThisLifeofMind.com

Facebook: britneylynda

Jun 03, 2020
Two Year Celebration, What's Next for Thriving in Motherhood - and 3 Invitations for YOU! [Episode 110]
20:41

We reached 100 episodes... TEN episodes ago! Today is all about celebrating what we've done and news about what is coming next to the Thriving in Motherhood Podcast!

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Subscribe (and rate and review – thank you!): Google Play | iTunes | Stitcher

Key Points from this Episode:

  • My word for the year is Connection and I want to help our community connect more.
  • Tag @thrivinginmotherhood.podcast on Instagram and join the Facebook Group while you share your wins in your life!
  • The Thriving in Motherhood Website has had a face-lift with the purpose to serve you better!
  • Find out where you are on the Surviving to Thriving pathway and get the new resource that applies to where you are!
  • Learn to work within your limitations and THRIVE!
  • Join the wait list for the course.

Resources

Thriving in Motherhood Facebook Group

Surviving Guide

Re-Entry Guide

Normalizing Guide

Exploring Guide

Thriving Guide

Course Wait List

May 27, 2020
What I do When I Start to Lose It [Episode 109]
27:08

Today I'm talking about what I do when I start to lose it! I'm mostly enjoying this time we have during the quarantine, but there are some times when I am not fine. These are some of the tools that I've developed over the years that I am getting lots of practice on during this crazy time.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • I used to think that if I was in a funk, that I was there to stay. It's not true! I've found ways to help myself reset and have a great rest of the day!
  • This works for me 98% of the time - take a nap or go to bed early! Usually I'm just tired.
  • I refer to my quarterly review where I wrote down projects and things I want to get done. I find a way to make even baby steps progress on a project. Feeling productive helps built positivity.
  • I find a way (if possible) to get some space. If my husband can watch the kids for me, I go for a half hour walk by myself. I listened to a podcast, called a friend, and called my mom on the walk.
  • Listen to an audiobook to give some perspective to your life. Get outside of your own circumstances to think about something bigger than yourself.
  • Phone a friend! Just talking to somebody else feels so nice to reconnect, even if it's just over the phone.
  • Journaling paired with scripture study and really connecting with God is huge to maintaining my mental state. It helps us in the moment, but it helps rewire your brain to look for positives in your life! I'm finding more good the more consistent I am with my journaling.
  • Recognize that some things are nobody's fault. Nobody around you deserves the anger and wrath you might feel. It might help you to let it go instead.
  • Sit down for 5 minutes when you need to!
  • Exercise! Even if it's just a little bit.

Resources

Becoming by Michelle Obama

Thriving in Motherhood Journal

Generation Mindful

May 20, 2020
How We Strengthen our Marriage During Hard Times with Andrew Jackson [Episode 108]
24:40

Today we're talking about how to strengthen your marriage during hard times instead of letting those hard times pull you apart. I'm joined by my husband of almost 9 years, Andrew, for today's episode as we share some practical tips that have made all the difference for us as we've gone from bombing the hard times to having the hard times actually bring us together more.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Everyone's challenging times are different, but we can apply some principles to keep on the same page with our spouse when we are feeling the challenge.
  • When big challenges are going on, remember that you can't always be "on." Give yourself and your spouse grace. Lower your expectations!
  • Paper plates, to us, means it's a hard season and dishes is something we can let slide. It's so much easier to get kids to dump their plates in the garbage than to handle all the cleanup of the kitchen after dealing with a meal.
  • Assume that your spouse is doing their best, even if it's nowhere close to their normal maximum capacity.
  • Check in and connect every night especially during hard times.
  • Ask "How are you? and Where are you at?" Figure out the stories you are telling yourself about your interpretations of the day. You'll often find that the same experience has impacted each of you completely differently.
  • Ask "If I could do one thing, what's the one thing that's the most meaningful or helpful to you today?" or "What deadlines do you have?" "What are your top priorities right now that need time and focus?"
  • Asking these types of questions help figure out the pain points everyone is dealing with and maximizes the little effort that can get done during the day.
  • We have weekly planning meetings as a couple. In that, we each share our top 3 priorities to accomplish that week. Planning helps us adjust our efforts to help both of us meet our goals.
  • Share some fun and happy things that happened each day during your evening check-in.
  • Friday night default is date night! Rarely do we leave the house, but we know we will spend the time together after kids are in bed. Planning on it makes it something to look forward to and help us grow closer together.
  • Serve your spouse a little, even if you feel maxed out. It will go such a long way!
May 13, 2020
How I Completely Changed How I Experience Motherhood [Episode 107]
25:21

Today I'm talking about how I completely changed how I experience my life and motherhood. I'll share an experience that illustrates this point and then I'll talk about how. I'll talk about the actual things that I changed how I feel about life during really hard times, as well as when things are going well.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • My third and fourth pregnancies were super hard physically, but this time (my fourth pregnancy) I am doing so much better because of the things that I've learned and been able to apply to my thinking. I'm using my time well and being the type of person I want to be despite the struggles, where I cannot say that about my third pregnancy.
  • Becoming aware of my thoughts was the first step to being intentional with changing the thoughts.
  • Consistently identify and shifting my thinking to more helpful and less distorted thinking has slowly shifted my natural way of thinking into a much more helpful and positive natural state.
  • Recognize what phase of the Surviving to Thriving Framework you are in. Are you in Surviving, Re-Entry, Normalizing, Exploring, or Thriving? This will give you perspective on your current situation and where you get to go next.
  • Teach your brain NOT to scan for negative and hard, but instead to ask "What am I grateful for?" "What were my big wins today?" and "How have I seen the hand of the Lord today?"
  • Think through what your next steps on your projects are so you know what's next rather than wandering and twiddling your thumbs when you have a few spare minutes. That way, you are working consistently on moving your projects and goals forward.
  • Carving out time for a spiritual connection with God has been key to my change for the better perspective.
  • CONSISTENCY is key to retraining your brain. Ask the questions every day!

Resources

May 06, 2020
Let's Do a Monthly Review Together! [Episode 106]
30:01

Today, I'm taking your with me through a monthly planning session. I review the previous month and look into the next month. Today's focus is more on how to use a monthly review when things are going great!

Key Points from this Episode:

  • The planner helps so much when you are in time of pure survival and also when things are going well!
  • If you're on top of your game, add things to your monthly review page during each weekly planning, then you just have to finish off at the end of the month.
  • My focus for the month is either helping me get very clear on the one thing that really matters on a personal level or a study question I am trying to think about throughout the month.
  • We have an innate need to learn, so write down what you've learned and take some time to choose what you are learning.
  • Accomplishments are for anything you consider a win: projects, who you're becoming, progress in ANYTHING!
  • Places we went is a very short list during quarantine, but it's a reminder that it's healthy for us to experience new things and meet new people.
  • The Family category helps me plan things that are fun for our family, plan routines and systems for our family, and figure out what I need to intentionally teach my family.
  • Now, look ahead to next month!
  • It's so important for me to seek God's help in deciding what I need to focus on. My prayer has been to know what I need to do to be prepared for our future.
  • Make sure your projects is not a list of every project you ever want to do, but instead, is what you can reasonably do in the next 30 days.
  • Really think about your self-care. Think about where you are and what you really need right now.
  • To plan your days, consider energy mapping. Plan your toughest tasks for when you recognize you are at your best levels. Plan more mindless tasks for when you know you have a tough time focusing.

Resources

Apr 29, 2020
How to Add Variety to Your Meals During Shelter in Place [Episode 105]
34:47

Today we're talking about how to add variety to your meal planning during this time when we are all at home with our families.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • I've always had the philosophy that I cook one meal. My kids have never experienced double-cooking where we have one food for the adults and another food for the kids.
  • We allow kids to say "this isn't my favorite" but not "eww! I hate this" and those kinds of negative talk.
  • We have the family rule that kids must take 2-3 "polite bites" of everything on their plate and after that, they don't have to eat any more if they don't want to. The kids can make themselves toast or a sandwich if they are still hungry, but I don't cook anything extra for them.
  • I cook to what I want to eat because I'm doing the work.
  • Watch some YouTube to get some inspiration for something different!
  • Add something like homemade croutons to an existing salad you like to change the whole feel.
  • Cook enough food that you have leftovers (at least for the adults) to take some of the work out of prepping food.
  • Consider organizing your fridge where leftovers are all together and easily accessible so they don't get lost in the fridge.
  • Take something you normally make and find ways to change up the flavor combinations and it will revitalize the food!
  • Make something (like sauerkraut, tortilla, or pita bread) from homemade that you usually buy and it will feel new again!
  • Make a triple batch of muffins and freeze whatever you can't finish. They are quick to heat up in the microwave and a great snack.
  • Blend ice cubes into snow cones and add orange juice!
  • Leftover smoothies or kefir ice cream can go in popsicle molds to save for another day.
  • Homemade granola can be added to smoothies or ice cream.
  • Mix in a pre-packaged oatmeal packet with regular oatmeal to spread out the sugar and flavor.
  • Subscribe to a produce box delivery! They add variety and excitement to your fruits and veggies.
  • Try something that sounds crazy like Chickpea Cookies!
  • Find some friends to share recipes with!

Resources

This site contains affiliate links to products. We may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.

Apr 22, 2020
The Power of Family Stories During Hard Times [Episode 104]
19:57

Today I'm sharing with you an experience I recently had with learning my family stories. They are deepening joy, resilience, and character for myself and for my children. I invite you to join me!

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Collect some of your family stories. You can read previously compiled stories, check out FamilySearch.org, or call a family member and learn from the source!
  • My great-great-grandmother lost her husband in the 1918 flu pandemic. Due to her pregnancy, she was too at-risk to say her goodbyes to her husband. It hurt, but she kept going. She got remarried and lost multiple children in infancy/youth. When faced with yet another death of a child, she punched herself in the stomach and told herself, "Buck up, old girl. You've done this before. You can do this again."
  • That phrase now comes to my mind when another tantrum, another spill, another mess comes my way. I can do this, and so can you!
  • They help remind me of who I came from and what they overcame and what they accomplished, even though things were hard.
  • They help in little ways to improve my character and choose to take on some of their traits, follow their example, and become more of the good that they were.
  • It helps connect the present to the past. It creates deeper, richer, more grateful experiences.

Resources

FamilySearch.org

Apr 15, 2020
How to Get Out of Survival Mode [Episode 103]
20:51

This week we talk about getting out of survival mode on a practical level. What it looks like, what it feels like. Things to look for and be aware of as you go through re-entry to establish some routines and rhythms in your life.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Try to get back into regular habits like getting dressed, taking showers regularly, brushing your teeth, feeding yourself, and feeding your families.
  • There is going to be a point where you do see things happening in your favor but it's going to take some time and that's okay.
  • Make sure your habits are working for you rather than against you.
  • Just try to be 1% better in an area each day. It can be in regards to your home or your habits. It will slowly dig you out of the survival mode feeling. Look for things that can have some lasting impact like making a cleaning caddy, buying another trash can, or decluttering an area.
  • Re-Entry feels like constantly putting out fires. Once you've put out enough fires, then your brain can start to figure out what the new normal will be.
  • Remember it's not just about your home, it's also about taking care of yourself.
  • Remember that it's going to feel hard for a while and you're not going to see much change or progress for a while, but that doesn't mean that change or that progress isn't being built up. Once you start to see the progress, it will be SO motivating!!

Resources

This site contains affiliate links to products. We may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.

The FlyLady Website

Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley

Atomic Habits by James Clear

Apr 08, 2020
Feeling Overwhelmed? Let's do a Quarterly Review Together! [Episode 102]
29:23

Today we're talking all about Quarterly Reviews! They are wonderful for when your brain feels so full that you don't know what the next step is. They can bring perspective to uncertain times and help focus the next stage of life.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Quarterly Reviews are so great to help empty your brain and plan for the next chunk of time.
  • Start by reviewing anything you wrote down at the beginning of the year. Things like your vision, goals, habits (if you have them).
  • Review your last 30 days
    • Write down what you've discovered or learned.
    • Write down what you've accomplished.
    • Write some highlights that have happened to or with your family.
    • Write down what books or podcasts you've read or listened to.
    • Write down where you went (even if it's just on walks around the neighborhood).
  • Ask yourself what went well in the last 90 days. There is something that is going well, even in the toughest times.
  • Be honest (but not mean) about what didn't go well in the last 90 days.
  • What progress did you make on your goals? What goals are no longer relevant? What other goals emerged? What goals will I focus on this upcoming quarter?
    • Think about "becoming" goals like being patient, being kind, not yelling, etc.
    • If you're feeling more on top of things, take advantage of the new freedom in your schedule! Be creative with what's in front of you right now for the next 90 days.
  • Decide what's most important for you to be excited about and focus on in the next quarter.
    • Connecting with your kids every day, cleaning up your home, starting a creative project to keep your hands busy, scripture study etc.
  • Ask what do you want to stop doing and what do you want to start doing.
    • Set limits on apps or other electronics that you are spending more time on than you want to be.
  • Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 in the following areas. Ask yourself why and if there is anything you can do to bump yourself up the scale just a little bit.
    • Intellectual
    • Social
    • Emotional
    • Avocational
    • Physical
    • Vocational
    • Marital
    • Financial
    • Parental
    • Spiritual

Resources

2020 Planner

Thriving in Motherhood Journal

How I Go on Vacation Every Day

Apr 01, 2020
How to Work At Home [Episode 101]
35:33

Today we're talking about how to work from home with kids around. This applies to all types of work we might do from home, whether that's a side-gig, projects, or full-time (but now from home) work. We'll talk practical things about the when and how to work this into life while kids are around.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • When establishing a family routine, make sure to schedule in alone time for you. That can be before kids wake up, in the middle of the day while kids do "quiet time", or right after kids' bedtimes.
  • Consider having an earlier bedtime for kids. It's okay if they don't go to sleep right away, but they can have quiet, unwinding time before they fall asleep and you can get TONS done during that time frame.
  • Use Michael Hyatt's idea of "moving the needle forward."
  • Ask yourself what tasks you can delete or delegate to others and you'll be left with tasks that you are best fit for you and will allow you to be most effective with the time you have.
  • Plan! Choose 3-5 goals you want to accomplish in the next month (including work goals). Be honest with your situation and adjust as needed for your current situation.
  • Look at your week and choose your Big Three (see resources) from your project list. Make sure it's the next big chunk of the monthly goal, not the actual goal. 
  • Add tasks in your context-based to-do list that allow you to move forward on your Big Three.
  • Ask yourself "What is one thing that would help me feel successful at the end of the day?" It will help you figure out what is most important, handle a nagging task, or set the bar REALLY low so you can find something to celebrate no matter what season you're in.
  • Ask yourself "What are the next actions for my 3 priorities for the week?" This is baby steps actions. This lets you take advantage of tiny amounts of unplanned time so you know how to best utilize it, rather than waste time figuring out what you can do when your kid naps longer than expected.
  • Ask yourself "What is one thing I can do today to make tomorrow easier?" This can help you identify what is stressing you out or think ahead to handle situations before they become urgent.
  • Be super open and communicating with the people around you with your goals and intentions for the week.

Resources

2020 Planner

Why and How to Choose a Big Three for the Week

Thriving in Motherhood Journal

Mar 25, 2020
Practical Tips For Being at Home with Your Kids All Day, Every Day [Episode 100]
38:27

Today we're talking about practical tips to be able to enjoy yourself and your family during this crazy Coronavirus Quarantine time. As a homeschooling mom, I've figured out a few things along the way that can help as we all cope with the changes of being at home with our children all day, every day.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Look to create a rhythm or routine for your household. Every day does not need to be the same, but general expectations help kids and adults alike to feel grounded.
  • Cleaning up after meals is our "ticket to play/project" because who wouldn't want to play, but the work needs to get done too!
  • We come together, eat together, we have some sort of intellectual stimulation/conversation/activity, then the kids have free play. Then it repeats.
  • Build a repeatable rhythm that are tied to anchors of things like eating meals together.
  • More time at home means more time for the kids to engage in things they love as well as being more engaged in the housework together. Have a conversation with your kids about what household work needs to get done and who can do what. Yes, there will be more work with everyone being home, but there are more people to share the load as well.
  • Have a family council to discuss screen time to prevent the need for constant decision-making in the moment. Set a reasonable expectation.
  • Embrace the time you have to let your kids cook with you, clean with you, etc.
  • Don't try to recreate the public school in your home. Doing a little bit of skill work that is on level with where they are is all they need to keep those brain muscles active.
  • Having a solid family read-aloud helps so much during a tough time. It brings everyone together and lets everyone escape into a world together. Consider having something that kids can do to have their hands busy while you read if they tend to get mischievous without guided movement.
  • Just be curious. Just keep trying. Try something new. Each day, find things to mix it up. Do what works for your family.
  • Remember - You probably already have a lot of these things going for you, so make sure you're doing them intentionally and consistently and it'll be great!
  • Play games! They always help with math skills.
  • Keep what you can do in perspective. Sometimes all you can do is keep a smile on your face and stay kind. Set the goal to be respond rather than react.
  • Identify what is in your circle of influence vs your circle of concern.
  • Ask yourself what unhelpful thoughts you had and prayerfully evaluate them to see how you can make adjustments in the future.
  • Remind yourself this is temporary.
  • Identify what you, as a parent, are looking forward to on a daily or weekly level.
  • Pay attention to the magic moments with your children. It will help change what you see to find more of the magic.

Resources

This site contains affiliate links to products. We may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.

Chronicles of Narnia 

The Trumpet of the Swan 

Winnie the Pooh, The House at Pooh Corner 

Milly-Molly-Mandy 

Besty-Tacy 

The Boxcar Children 

My Father’s Dragon 

Little House in the Big Woods - and all of the books in the Little House Series!  The Long Winter is our favorite and maybe feels a bit relevant now. 

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen R. Covey

Thriving in Motherhood Journal

Mar 18, 2020
Letting Go of Control with Rosie Bick [Episode 99]
48:08

Rosie is a mother of three girls (ages 7, 6, and 4) and author of Congratulations! It's Cancer A Memoir. Today we talk about her personal experience with cancer, homeschooling, and learning not to yell. She was born in Utah but raised in Kansas City, Missouri. She has her bachelor's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and met her husband while getting her Cosmetology License. She loves writing, chocolate, and collecting pretty books!

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Homeschooling can give kids a voice in their own education. It allows you to follow their natural motivation.
  • Listen to what you're kids are interested in, and then pull in curriculum that relates to what they love. They will learn so much more!
  • You don't have to teach everything yourself, even if you homeschool! There are so many resources you can turn to and be an example of how to learn something you don't know.
  • Rosie's molar pregnancy resisted all the regular treatments and at some point in the process of multiple D&Cs, light chemo, heavy chemo, surgery to remove 1/4 of her uterus was determined that the molar pregnancy was actually cancer.
  • Hearing from the doctor "this isn't going to be a normal pregnancy" lead Rosie to think it might be a baby with disabilities, but she never thought they could have meant cancer.
  • The strong marital support that came from her husband helped pull Rosie through the challenges she faced in dealing with the cancer.
  • Rosie felt through the cancer her lack of control over aspects of her life. It's helped her to focus more on the choices she can make, rather than the circumstances that she could control.
  • Teaching our kids to ask questions when they don't understand opens the door for teamwork in your family to face problems together.
  • Changing how we see our kids can affect how we parent. We can let them be full participants in the family.
  • We can control our behavior and the environment in our homes and can help teach expectations, but cannot control our children's behaviors.
  • Your child knows where they need to be independent and it's your job to foster that independence in ways that are healthy and appropriate.
Mar 11, 2020
How to Have Friends When You're a Mom Part 2 [Episode 98]
34:47

Today is Part 2 of my conversation with Madeline Casey, Phoebe Cook, Linsey Jensen, & Kristen Ruesch. from Indiana on the topic of friendship. Today's topics cover how to help our children deal with conflict and how to serve each other.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Food is a major way to serve each other. Make enough dinner to share, or have a potluck. Everyone wins that way!
  • Helping care for another person's kids is huge.
  • Be willing to be inconvenienced by each other. The friendship is totally worth the sacrifice.
  • The more you get to know someone, the more you notice what they need and can feel more comfortable expressing what you need help with.
  • The service relationships often start small and grow as times goes on. Do your best to reciprocate service when you can.
  • Help your kids understand what they can control in the friend settings. When all the moms and the kids talk through conflicts together, it helped everyone learn how to grow together. Allow the goal to be helping the kids solve the problem for themselves rather than just coming to the quickest solution to keep everyone quiet.
  • If you can, get together without your kids!! You can talk without interruptions and develop deeper relationships at an adult level.
  • Have a theme for your evening (like a favorite things night or music night) to help guide your conversations.
  • Go on a walk - with or without kids. The kids are typically happy in strollers and you also get to talk at an adult level more.
  • Treasure the spontaneous moments of friendship that happen. They can mean so much more than the staged/planned ones.
Mar 04, 2020
How to Have Friends When You're a Mom Part 1 [Episode 97]
33:39

Today is Part 1 of an amazing conversation with four of my great friends from Indiana on the topic of friendship. How to have meaningful conversations, how to serve each other, how to become friends with people who are different than you are all topics we discuss.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Meaningful friendships can come from all age groups, not just people who are the same age as you!
  • Be on the lookout for new people moving in and be ready to welcome them and invite them into the fold of your friendship.
  • Sharing your heart with your friends allows you to get to know each other's souls and develop a deeper connection.
  • Recognize that your friends are different from you. That acceptance of each other's differences can allow you to be inspired without becoming overwhelmed with expectations.
  • Do things for yourself like reading books or listening to podcasts and that gives you material to bring up in discussions with others.
  • Sometimes it is easier to be vulnerable and develop deeper relationships in one-on-one situations rather than large groups.
  • A good question to ask is "What are you excited about?" It opens the door for them to tell you about anything that makes them happy at the time.
  • You don't have to spend money in order to spend time together! Try nature walks, potluck picnics, parks, in each others' homes, etc.
  • When you have somebody over, think through what toys you want available and what doors you want open and closed to set the boundaries and keep the cleanup from becoming overwhelming.
  • Stay to help clean up when you've played at someone else's house. Play together and clean together!
Feb 26, 2020
How to Ask For Help [Episode 96]
34:03

Today we are talking about how to ask for help and some of the principles about why and assurance that it's okay to ask for help! We all need it.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Asking for help can be hard, and that's okay!
  • Helping others feels wonderful, so remember it's okay to be on both sides of the helping. If we love helping others, it can be a huge blessing to others to let them help us.
  • The bar for getting help and asking for help is way, way, WAY lower than we think it is.
  • Interdependence helps lift everyone involved way farther than independence can. 
  • Allowing the interdependent relationships to develop allows everyone to get help even when things aren't in pure survival, but even have help with the lesser, but still hard times.
  • We have to fight that lie that independence is the end-all be-all. Especially in motherhood.
  • Sometimes we have to be brave and ask for help so we can start cracking down our walls of independence and open the door for them to feel comfortable asking for help from you.
  • In some times of your life, there will be not be as much give and take and you will just need to be served. Know that in another season, you will get to serve when you are capable.
  • When you need A LOT of help, ask a lot of different people so you don't strain friendships. It's scary to ask more people, but spread it around when the help that is needed is ongoing.
  • Be specific with what you need help with.
  • Notice what lifts you up and practice doing that more in your daily life.

Resources

Thriving in Motherhood Podcast Episode 5 with Chelsea Homer

Feb 19, 2020
How to Foster Responsibility in Our Kids with Theresa [Episode 95]
42:03

Theresa is a mother of two and owner of Montessori In Real Life blog and Instagram. Today we're talking about how to take principles of the Montessori philosophy and applying them into our home. There are a lot of practical ideas as well as Theresa's own story of growth.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Montessori is providing an environment that allows children to be self-motivated, curious, and confident in their own abilities. They are respected for who they are individually, and, in return, learn to respect others.
  • Having an open floor plan can allow family members to be together without needing to be doing the exact same thing.
  • Having a kid-friendly house does not mean it cannot be beautiful and enjoyable for adults too.
  • Montessori and home can be quite different from Montessori in the classroom.
  • Foster the natural desire toddlers can have to want to clean up. 
  • You can arrange a closet in your home similar to how a classroom would store their materials to make for easy rotation.
  • How we show up for our kids really affects how the kids show up for the day.
  • Making time to refresh ourselves away from our kids weekly makes a big difference in being able to give of ourselves to our children.

Connect with Theresa

Instagram: @montessoriinreallife

Website: montessoriinreallife.com

Resources

Montessori Home Tour

The Power of Showing Up by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson (affl link)

The Whole Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson (affl link)

Montessori From The Start by Paula Polk Lillard and Lynn Lillard Jessen (affl link)

No Drama Discipline by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson (affl link)

Feb 12, 2020
How to Embrace Our Kids Having a Normal, Messy Childhood [Episode 94]
18:36

Today we talk about how to embrace our kids having a normal, messy childhood and what we can do as parents to make things easier on us as parents. Don't forget to join our free Love Your Life Challenge!

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Being in nature and being messy is important to our kids' development.
  • Buying clothes from thrift stores or Walmart makes all clothes play clothes and takes the stress off keeping things stain-free.
  • Having a rain suit and rain boots keeps the kids from getting cold and wet while still enjoying the water play. They will play longer and happier and be able to just come in and strip off the top layer and be ready to keep playing inside without a total wardrobe change.
  • A waterproof art smock works wonders on art projects, but also daily needs like helping with dishes. It takes the stress out of letting your kids help!

Resources

Tuffo Muddy Buddy Rain Suit

Waterproof Art Smock

Feb 05, 2020
Living a Life of Creativity with Rhonda Steed [Episode 93]
48:41

Rhonda Steed is a mother of five (ages 7-17) and a woman of many talents. We talk about setting up a craft room for your kids, how to make sourdough bread, and life as a mother as our children grow from the toddler to the teenage years.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • When you are going through a difficult circumstance like Medical School, find a mom friend in the same situation. They will get you and be able to understand the trials you are dealing with.
  • Learn to carry on with your family even if your busy spouse is unable to be home. Learn to be happy when they do get to come, but don't bemoan your situation when they can't.
  • Taking care of your body really matters. It allows us to mother better and do our best.
  • To parent different personality types, set a goal to pray and think about one thing you can do for each child each day.
  • Start with construction paper and water with a paintbrush if you are nervous about introducing art supplies to your kids.
  • To keep the clutter down with so many creative expressions of our children, you can keep a new project for about a week and see if your child brings it up. If they don't, it's okay to toss it! If you're worried about it, take a picture and then throw it away.
  • Baking bread can be a soothing activity, like yoga.
  • Making bread feels like an accomplishment that can't be undone. So much of motherhood is cyclical but this is a creation that can't be un-created.
  • Take a breath and pause before you react when you're in stressful situations with your teenagers (and others). You might find the magic in the intentions of an action you didn't understand.

Connect with Rhonda

Instagram: @justrhondalee

Website: rhondasteed.com

Resources

@sourdoughschool - Instagram for how to make bread

The Kitchn  - sourdough basics

Jan 29, 2020
How I Taught My Kids to Play and Why We Homeschool [Episode 92]
28:29

Today I'm talking about how I taught my kids to play, which leads into why we homeschool. If you feel like you always needs to entertain your kids and are looking for how to build the independent play skills in your children, this episode is for you!

Key Points from this Episode:

  • There is no one right way to do anything, schooling included!
  • Even if you don't homeschool, you can take away ideas about how to run your household that can help your home life.
  • Enabling kids to have the space to play out real life things (like kitchen sets) gives them so much imagination and freedom!)
  • Recognizing kids' capabilities to feed themselves, wash themselves and dress themselves requires us to relinquish some control of our control, but opens the door to have the kids be able to be contributing members of our households.
  • Charlotte Mason teaches that children are born persons. They have their own personalities and ambitions.
  • Teach children to be a part of a family and a community.

Resources

You Are Your Child's First Teacher by Rahima Baldwin Dancy (affiliate link)

A Delectable Education Podcast - The Early Years

Home Education by Charlotte Mason (affiliate link)

A Charlotte Mason Companion by Karen Andreola (affiliate link)

The Montessori Toddler by Simone Davies (affiliate link)

Jan 22, 2020
How to Support our Children's Education with Teru Clavel [Episode 91]
39:53

Teru Clavel is a mother of three (ages 10-15), author, and comparative education expert. She talks about principles of education that can be applied in all of our lives. We talk about resiliency, failure, and confidence. We talk about what we can do in our own homes to support our children no matter where they go to school.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Play-based preschool helped build children's independence and prepared them to make choices for themselves.
  • Some moments in parenthood when we realize our kids rely on us, so we have to "wake up" and meet their needs completely. We have to choose strength in that moment.
  • Failure is a critical part of the learning process. Most of the important lessons we learn in life come from failure.
  • Failure builds resiliency!
  • More technology is not the answer to teach our children. Having technology is not bad, but the learning process works better in a more tactile world.
  • Motherhood is a great learning ground for multitasking and prioritizing. We naturally measure everything against our children and their needs.
Jan 15, 2020
Creating a Vision vs Goals and My Vision for 2020 [Episode 90]
29:44

In this episode I talk about setting appropriate expectations for ourselves in our new year and the difference between a vision and goals. I also share about my word for 2020: Connection.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Setting goals or having a vision can keep us from drifting through our lives.
  • A vision can keep things in perspective for what you have in your circle of influence, even when it's a hard or the future is feeling unknown.
  • Think about the why behind your vision and goals. It needs to be realistic and compelling.
  • In seasons where you can't do, focus on who you can be.
  • If you are in a season where setting goals of doing is not realistic, have your vision focus on who you can be instead.
  • Keep moving on the baby steps even when you aren't feeling it so that when you have a "wake up" moment and see your life with fresh eyes, you can enjoy the life you have created.
  • Plan action steps for your vision (AKA goals) quarterly or even monthly if the whole year has too many moving parts to predict.
Jan 08, 2020
Year in Review [Episode 89]
35:53

In this episode, I do a Year in Review and discuss some major lessons learned this year. I also talk about some things you might want to consider as you reflect on your year as a whole.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Review any place you keep track of your thoughts or memories for the year.
  • Relive the fun moments or experiences you had.
  • If you can't plan the whole year, that's totally okay! Just take it a quarter, or even a month, at a time.
  • When you focus on your circle of influence, it will have a positive effect on your family. That often means asking for more help!
  • Communicating with your spouse to help make sure you are pulling your loads together, rather than pulling each your hardest but not together, will bring you strength.
  • Recognize the successes you have had this year and find what motivates you to keep going on your goals from those experiences.
  • Figure out what is in your circle of influence that can guide you towards things you really want in your life.
Jan 01, 2020
How to Walk in The Light [Episode 88]
18:57

Merry Christmas!! Today, I talk about choosing to walk in the light rather than darkness during times of trial. 

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Angels are helping us in our times of trial even if we don't notice them. 
  • Our thought patterns are like waking through tall grass. Our typical patterns are well-worn paths and are easy to walk through. It takes effort to try a new path, but you can do it!
  • Read the questions to ask God. Open the scriptures and read a few verses. Then review and ponder the questions and see where the Spirit guides your thoughts.
  • Hone in on what is in your circle of influence.
  • Accept what phase of the Surviving to Thriving Framework you are in (Surviving, Re-Entry, Normalizing, Exploring, or Thriving). Own it and don't try to keep a foot in the door in phases you aren't really in right now!
  • Oftentimes when our circumstances get bigger than ourselves, contentment can be the first thing to go. Peace can go out the door right with it.
  • Accept the circumstances for what they are and remember they are temporary. It will help you find peace and contentment where you are.
  • I can find peace and contentment right now. I can feel satisfaction and successes with what I am doing right now. I can feel gratitude and joy right now. Even when things are so so so hard. And that absolutely comes from being taught how to walk in the light. 
  • We have so much help.  We have so much love. We have so much support from God and from Jesus Christ and so many others.
  • It takes work to choose to keep fighting to stay in your circle of influences, but you can do it!
Dec 25, 2019
Why and How to Choose a Big Three for the Week [Episode 87]
17:23

Today, I'm talking about a principle that has the ability to completely revolutionize your life. It's called the Big Three for the Week. It works wonderfully with the Thriving in Motherhood Planner, but can absolutely be applied with or without this particular planner.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • A Big Three for the Week helps add a lot of clarity, but you can optionally also have a Big Three for each Day if you have that kind of structure available to you.
  • The Big Three are three things that help you move the needle forward on the most important tasks.
  • Big Three should be highest priorities and we are intentionally giving space to them.
  • You can have one of your Big Three be for one of your personal goals.
  • You can have one of your Big Three be a goal for your family. This can be a great check to make sure things are in balance.
  • You can have one of your Big Three be beyond your family. Look for opportunities of service or church work.
  • It's okay to have just a Big One or Big Two if you know your top priority will take up every spare moment in your week.

Resources

Free Training: How to Finally Stop Drowning in Piles

 

Dec 18, 2019
Finding Joy in the Lord with Sarah Molitor [Episode 86]
42:51

Sarah Molitor is a mother of five under the age of seven and today we talk about finding joy in the Lord in our every day moments and boundaries both within our families and our own lives. Sarah is a Registered Nurse who always had being a wife and mother as her goal. Her passions are raising children to be others-oriented and inspiring other mothers to find joy through her social media influence.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • It takes time to find your confidence as a mother and find your stride.
  • Focus on what things do look like, not what you expect them to look like.
  • In hindsight, we will get to see that what God has planned for us is way cooler than anything we could have planned.
  • Connect to the Lord any where, any time you can. It doesn't have to be at 6 am before the kids are awake. Allow the Lord to seep in all throughout our days.
  • Structure and boundaries can give us the freedom to have more fun because the kids know what to expect to some degree.
  • What we do at home should mimic what we do in public. Being respectful of property and boundaries within our homes sets us up to be enjoyable to others when we are our in public.
  • Take time to look at the good that comes from the challenges. Sharing rooms for kids can be hard, but there is a special bond that comes from sharing. 
  • Remember that as you are raising children, you are actually raising adults. One day, that 7 year old boy is going to be in his 20s and fall in love and will need to know how to treat a girl respectfully. 
  • Get to know your "Power Hours" and know how to cut them off. It's okay if you don't get up before the kids in the morning. Know when you can get stuff done and utilize that time frame. 
  • Know who you are and who you want to be in order to qualify your yeses and nos.
Dec 11, 2019
Creating Space to Get Ready for the New Year [Episode 85]
17:31

Today, we are talking about ways to create space in our lives. When we take the time to clear out mental space, we can make room to think ahead and prepare for the upcoming year!

Key Points from this Episode:

  • What is on your list to help you create space?
  • Consider:
    • Physical space
    • Process Paperwork
    • Setting Boundaries for Social Media Usage
    • Reading Books that have been on your List
    • Take a Break from Work 
    • Focus on Your Relationship with God
  • Look for finding balance, not on a daily or weekly level, but zoom out and make sure your yearly priorities are reflected in your yearly accounting of your time.
  • If we don't take time to empty out, then we are more likely to want to escape. Instead, work to create a life that you don't want to escape from.
Dec 04, 2019
]The Fantastic Uncertainty of Motherhood with Dr. Sherry Zhang [Episode
44:22

Dr. Sherry Zhang is a mother and founder and CEO of Genopalate. We talk about equipping our children with tools to navigate challenges, successes, and failures. We also talk about learning and the importance of asking good questions.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Motherhood is a learning experience from day one.
  • Every day is going to have some sort of fantastic uncertainty. It's up to us to make it better or worse.
  • Learning from our children, who we created, is an amazing experience.
  • Teaching our children principles and standards sets them up to interact well with the ever-changing environment around them.
  • Successes are a very personal thing. Your successes can look completely different than someone else's.
  • Your genetic code can give hints to what foods work best with your body.
  • Health is not just about weight loss. Overall health is so much more.
Nov 27, 2019
Let Life Surprise You with Oakley Peterson [Episode 83]
38:27

Oakley is a mother of three, blogger & Instagrammer. She shares her family's stories about working with their son who has down-syndrome and discusses accepting imperfect mothering during the process.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Keeping the home simple can help keep you from feeling like you are drowning.
  • It's okay to not be the exact mom we want to be at this exact moment in time.
  • Raising a family is a whole-family effort. Being a more open parent with our children about the process helps it become a team effort.
  • Parenting has become more of an open process with our children because of the transparency of the world we live in. 
  • Navigate the needs of your children by knowing your children. Notice what the need is. It's okay that the needs of the children are different.
  • Take the time to be still with each child.
  • Be a listener and let your children feel heard in their own home.
  • Give your kids a few moments where you can let them feel like they are the center of your universe.
  • Some of the surprises can be the best blessings in our life. 
  • Keeping the connection with God makes everything smoother. That makes the bumps in the road doable!
Nov 20, 2019
Three Small Changes and One Tool That will Help you See Progress and Get Rid of the Overwhelm [Episode 82]
44:22

Today we are talking about the Thriving in Motherhood Planner and three actionable steps for you to take (in our planner or another one) to help you change how you feel about your motherhood and your days and how you're using your time!

Key Points from this Episode:

  • This planner grew out of really wanting to have a place for myself to be able to bring to fruition what I wanted my motherhood to look like.
  • The planner solves two MAJOR problems: It's a place to empty out your brain so you can engage in real life. It's also a way to be intentional with your time without adding unnecessary pressure.
  1. Change how you look at your time. Look at your time at a weekly level rather than a daily level.
  2. In the next 24 hours, write down all the things you accomplished, the things you discovered, the places you went to, the books you read, what you have done with your family. You can celebrate your accomplishments and evaluate where you want your priorities to be better.
  3. Ask yourself what you are curious about trying and use that to inform your vision for next year.
  • Separating out inflexible appointments from flexible to-do items gives you more wiggle room as life happens and feels less overwhelming.
  • Plan your weekly to-dos and do your very best not to add any more as the week goes on unless it HAS to get done. You'll see greater progress and accomplishment.
Nov 13, 2019
The Path from Surviving to Thriving [Episode 81]
45:38

In this episode, I introduce the Surviving  to Thriving Framework and interview Megan Dilworth about how this framework has impacted her life. Megan is a wife and mother of three kids (ages 2-7) who is a member of The Thriving Team. She is a photographer, graphic designer, and lover of DIY projects.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Surviving to Thriving Framework:
    • All the steps are important. There is no time frame on this path. We all will repeat this path over and over throughout our lives.
    • 1. Surviving
      • circumstances, not mindset
    • 2. Re-entry
      • Uncomfortable transition between surviving and trying to get back into real life
    • 3. Normalizing
      • Basic routines
    • 4. Exploring
      • Establishing family culture and finding out what you love
    • 5. Thriving
      • Enjoy the beautiful moments. The seasons that feel like things are going well.
  • Believing things are temporary will help us be more optimistic. These are temporary stages in our lives!
  • Its okay to drop ideas that aren’t serving you. It’s okay to try new things, even if they don’t end up lasting.
  • The act of writing things down helps us remember.
Nov 06, 2019
Why My Kids Aren't the Priority [Episode 80]
18:17

Sometimes it feels like our kids should be our number one priority all the time. In this episode, I talk about how I think building a strong family and creating healthy relationships is the focus we should be having instead.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Our kids are wonderful, but our priority is building strong families.
  • We, as mothers, are part of the strong family that we need are building. Our family is only as strong as the weakest link, so we need to take care of ourselves too!
  • When we can shift the idea from being a fire to put out to being a teaching moment, it can help us handle the situations differently.
  • How we approach our days when we are thinking "My goal is to build a strong family. My goal is create healthy relationships" changes how we respond to our children.
  • Supporting our children's growth is different than focusing on the results (and a whole lot less stressful!)
  • Creating a strong family culture and atmosphere of growth is what is under our circle of influence, not our children's behavior, which often gets focused on when our kids are the priority.
  • When we focus on building strong families and healthy relationships, our capacity for joy and experience joy right now is so much greater.
  • Those little moments of the day of seeing glimpses of the strong family and healthy relationships happen. Recognizing them helps us find the motivation to keep going.
  • It's so much easier to "lose ourselves" when our kids are the focus all the time.
  • The power of friendship is so real in motherhood. It helps buoy us up!
  • "Sisters, oh how we need each other" - Marjorie Pay Hinckley

 

Oct 30, 2019
How to Overcome Destructive Anger with Natalie Hixson [Episode 79]
49:30

Natalie Hixson is a wife, mother, and certified professional life coach. Her goal is helping burnt out and discouraged Christian mothers overcome destructive anger so they can enjoy being a wife and mom. She, her husband, and three girls (ages 9, 12, and 16) live in Bozeman, Montana.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • We can break the fear and yelling cycle in our lives.
  • Remember that our children have developmentally-appropriate tantrums. We need to work on things to be able to, in turn, help our children with their struggles rather than throw our own, grown-up tantrums.
  • Recognizing that you have destructive anger and are facing burnout is the first step to overcoming it. It's not a mindset you have to stay in.
  • Reach out for help if you recognize you have destructive anger!
  • What we say to ourselves becomes our beliefs. It's the story we are telling ourselves and we believe it and what we believe, we support with our actions and our thoughts.
  • Our minds look to support our thoughts. If we focus on positive thoughts, our minds will look for supporting evidence.
  • Circumstances do not trigger our actions. Circumstances trigger thoughts and feelings. Then we decide on our own actions.
  • Look for what needs are not being met to diffuse situations more quickly.
  • Work through the tough situations and MOVE ON. The current moment does not define our next moment.
  • We can choose to highlight the good parts of motherhood to connect with others rather than the negative.
  • Recognize the moment for what it is (positive or negative) and be grateful we are here to experience it.
  • When you start to feel an emotion, take three deep breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Longer exhale than inhale. Physical reset to the nervous system. Send a prayer to God for help. I am statements: I am love. I am grateful.
  • Write a list of things that are okay for your kids to do (even eating M&Ms or watching a show on an iPad) to give yourself the time you need to calm down. Then you can come back and work through the problem when you are no longer angry.
Oct 23, 2019
Surrendering Our Children to God with Jeanette Tapley [Episode 78]
37:01

Jeanette Tapley, host of It's Time for Coffee Podcast all about friendship, wife, and mother of three children. We talk about her adoption journey and things she's learned from that. We also talk about tips on starting your own podcast and the art of the apology.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Jeanette heard the whisperings of God saying, "I called you to be a mom. What are you going to do about the [children] that don't have one?"
  • "I will always be the mom they need, but I will never be a perfect mom."
  • Our kids learn how to be humble and apologize primarily by our example.
  • "We are showing them how to love recklessly and, in turn, that will show us how Jesus has loved us."
  • "Love well, love often, and love first."
  • Checking in with our kids consistently can help let them know that open communication is there.
  • Being honest with the people close to you about where things stands on your work or personal projects can help keep resentment from growing.
  • If you want to start a podcast, figure out first who you want to talk to and why you want to talk to them. Then ask how you are going to execute this. Then, JUMP! Commit to a year and then figure out what you need to tweak after that.
  • Waking up 15-20 minutes can set up your day for success.
  • A weekly phone date with a friend can be so rejuvenating!
  • Own your actions in your apologies. Don't say "I'm sorry I made you feel..." Instead, say "I'm sorry that I hurt you because I..."
  • "I can't control everything, but I can surrender [my children] to the Lord"
  • God has greater things in store for in our children than we can even imagine.
Oct 16, 2019
Rest is Part of the Work [Episode 77]
12:27

In this episode, I discuss the concept that the work of motherhood includes rest. Real rest is so important to the work of motherhood, especially as we gear up for the upcoming holiday season. If you take time to take care of yourself, then you will have the freedom to expand your influence in a way that is healthy to you and those around you.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • You are where it starts. You are smack-dab in the middle of your circle of influence. If you don't nourish yourself, you won't be able to nourish those around you.
  • The more you focus on bringing the best for yourself, the more power and influence you will have for others.
  • None of us can go full speed all the time. We weren't designed to go go go without taking time to rest.
  • Sometimes we become numb to the amount of work we are doing in our daily lives. It's okay that we feel tired!
  • Laziness is a deception of the adversary to keep us exhausted.
  • Beware of being distracted to the point of not getting real rest.
  • It's not laziness to go to bed early, take a nap, read a book, write in your journal, exercise, play a game, work on a project. It's not laziness to do things that fill your heart with joy.
  • Plan in time for real rest for yourself as we approach the upcoming busy holiday season.

 

Oct 09, 2019
You Have Climbed Mountains [Episode 76]
28:18

You have climbed mountains! In this episode, I talk about the dialog in our own minds that can adjust our thinking to be able to shift from "I am being beat up" to "I have climbed mountains!" The skill of having a Thriving Mindset is something that we can develop with the right tools.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Every time we reach a mountain peak, we find a beautiful view and can stop to recognize the strength we have displayed to get as far as we have.
  • Sometimes faith alone isn't enough to keep us positive. It's one piece of the puzzle.
  • Gratitude is one piece of the puzzle.
  • Identifying our cognitive patterns and distortions is a piece of the puzzle.
  • Connect with people.
  • Celebrating our milestones and progress helps us having a Thriving Mindset.
  • Planning for the struggles that we know will be coming our way makes the struggles easier. When we decide who we want to be ahead of time, it makes a major difference.
  • Ask God what He wants you to do that day.
  • Pick the section that you are struggling with the most and start with that if answering all the questions is overwhelming to you.
Oct 02, 2019
How I Go on Vacation Every Day [Episode 75]
16:05

Today, I talk about Going on Vacation every single day. Time-blocking my day to allow for Vacation Hours has changed how I think about my days and has revolutionized my relationship with my children.

Key Points from this Episode:

    • Telling ourselves "I am being present" with our kids while our minds are swirling with all the things we want to get done does not work.
    • Prep for vacation:
      • Have a place to write down all your thoughts
      • Buy a watch - do not check your phone to check the time
      • Choose a chunk of hours to be your Vacation Time. It should be the time your children need connection the most. For us, that's the mid-morning hours when we are doing homeschool. For others, it might be between when kids get home from school and dinner or bedtime.
    • During your vacation:
      • Keep your phone away. In your room. Take a vacation from worrying about anything that happens with your phone.
      • Don't worry about your own projects or to do lists
      • Be there with your kids 100% like you would be when you're on vacation
      • When you are on vacation, there are no "shoulds." None at all.
    • After your vacation:
      • Work on your projects!
      • Don't feel guilty!
      • Know that you've put in good, quality face-time with your kids (and not the video chat kind)
    • Being mentally there does not mean playing with them every minute of the day. It means taking a break from our devices and tuning in to our children and their needs.
Sep 25, 2019
Learning to See the Value in Your Own Story and That You are Extraordinary with Jessica Dahlquist [Episode 74]
58:32

Jessica is a military mother of three boys and podcast host of the Extraordinary Moms Podcast. She talks about finding who she wants to be as a person and the joy in the moments where you can see progress in yourself.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Night before prepping makes the next day so much smoother.
  • When our kids lose it, we can make the choice not to lose it ourselves. We don't have to join the tantrum.
  • We have to recognize that our children are each unique children of God and we are too. If we focus on staying calm and staying safe for our children, we can allow them to explore and figure themselves out while we adjust our parenting to each child's specific needs.
  • Listen to our kids' feelings and let them be okay. We can coach our children to help them come up with plans for the hard times so they can do things as independently as they can. It can give them confidence to be able to work through their challenges they are faced with.
  • We have to let our children see us problem solve our own struggles (on an age-appropriate level) or they won't know that it's normal to need to struggle.
  • Are you cleaning the house to give you the right to complain when it gets messed up again, or cleaning because you love the feeling of a clean house. Pay attention to your motivations and evaluate what is working for you.
  • Most of the time, it's not about what you're doing, but why you're doing it.
  • Exhausted is not the same as depleted. Paying attention to how we are spending our energy can help keep us feeling good even as we are tired.
  • It's okay to adjust the tasks to accomplish the value you are looking for. Look at the whys behind the activities you are doing. If the task is no longer adding the desired value to your life, make adjustments!
  • Just because it's not working yet, doesn't mean it's not working. Play the long game.
  • Taking the time to reflect and acknowledge our growth helps up recognize our own extraordinary lives. We are extraordinary, but a lot of times, we just don't take the time to notice.
  • You are doing so much better than you think you are. You have grown so much more than you think you have.
  • It is a skill to recognize that nothing lasts forever. We can live our lives more hopeful if we can remember that our challenges will be just for a moment.
  • Close the background apps of your mind and see what's zapping your energy without your knowledge. Come back to them when you are in a better mental space and see how you can adjust your thinking for the future.

Resources

Sep 18, 2019
Where to Start When You Feel Overwhelmed by Your Messy House [Episode 73]
22:33

In this episode, I talk about where to start to get the house back on track after a Survival Mode season. I share my rhythms and systems that have helped me and my kids know what to expect when we are transitioning from full-blown Survival Mode back into "normal" life.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • It's OK to make intentional choices to let things like housework go when we are in survival mode, but we need to pick up the pieces when we are able to.
  • Start with prayer. Then listen to the promptings of where to start.
  • "Home Blessing Hour" every week for concentrated time to take care of the house.
  • Go room by room. Garbage to the trash bag. Clothes to the laundry basket. Everything that doesn't belong into a basket. Put those items away. Sweep/vacuum the floor.
  • Set timers for short increments to get bursts of cleaning focus from our children.
  • Consider having some major incentives for after the house gets put back together.
  • Talk with your children while you clean. Use it as a chance to bond as a family.
Sep 11, 2019
Finding Joy in the Truths of Motherhood with Valerie Woerner [Episode 72]
45:53

Valerie is a mother of two girls and creator of a Prompt and Prayer Journal and author of a book, Grumpy Mom Takes a Holiday. We talk about God's will, fighting the lies about motherhood that the world gives, and how to start adjusting our thinking during our days.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • Dance to shake out the grumpiness in the mornings.
  • We are stronger than we think we are with the help of God.
  • “When ours [our plans] are interrupted, His are not. His plans are proceeding exactly as scheduled, moving us always (including those minutes or hours or years which seem most useless or wasted or unendurable) ‘toward the goal of true maturity’ (Rom 12:2).” - Elisabeth Elliot
  • Trust that worthy things we want to do will get done, even if it's not in the time frame we expect, or we will learn it isn't what God wants us to be doing.
  • We don't need to add extra drama to our lives. We need to be real about motherhood. We cannot do motherhood for the praise.
  • Our challenging moments in our days are just that - moments. Rehashing the hard times just forces our minds to dwell on those negative things rather than embracing and focusing on the positive that has happened.
  • We can give our children a safe place to grow up and don't need to share every mistake they make. Think about how that must make our children feel.
  • The world wants to distract us from the amazing gift that motherhood is. God wants us to recognize the gift that it truly is!
  • There is space a between stimulus and response. We can adjust our auto-pilot thinking to change how we feel about the same situations. Start by taking the time to notice your thoughts.
  • We can take responsibility and have integrity in our lives by accepting that things are not just happening to us, but we can choose how to act.
Sep 04, 2019
Where to Start When You Feel Overwhelmed with Exercising [Episode 71]
22:05

In this episode, I talk about where to start when you feel overwhelmed with getting your physical health where you want it to be. We all go through times where we have to have our physical bodies take a backseat and this is my process that I go through every time I re-start my exercise routine.

Key Points from this Episode:

  • There are so many reasons (physical & mental) that take us back to square one with our fitness. That's OK!
  • My big why for exercise is the endorphins. I feel better when I exercise.
  • You don't need to do the whole workout that is designed! Start with 10 minutes, then go to 15 minutes until you find the right duration for you.
  • Start with gently building strength (Physique 57), then add cardio (Marcy Upright Exercise Bike).
  • I replaced my standard transportation with a cardio bucket bike.
  • Find what you love to do to work moving into your day. Mow the lawn, swim, longboard, dance in the kitchen. Do what works for you!
  • gain energy from exercising, not lose it.
  • It feels good to feel strong!
  • Focusing on getting my green smoothie in every day helps teach my body to crave fruits and vegetables again. It helps me get out of the survival-eating mode.
  • Whatever your body needs, feed it that!
Aug 28, 2019