It's time for another Q&A episode where I answer your questions! In today's episode, I answer a community member's question about sex after baby.

Life changes so much after baby is born and the pressure to have intercourse can feel overwhelming. 

Breastfeeding, hormone fluctuation, sleep deprivation, birth trauma, feeling touched out, recovering from birth.

Is sex off the table? Absolutely not, but the pressure to have it should be. There is no right amount of sex to have and during this postpartum period we are reassessing our entire lives... so intimacy might be a bit different than it was before.

In this episode, I discuss:

• Why the pressure to have sex should be off the table for one year postpartum 
• How communication with your partner and negative patterns can impact intimacy, especially postpartum
• My 3 tips for what you can start doing in your relationship today to address intimacy and shift toward connection 

Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again

Start nurturing your intimacy today. Grab my FREE Nurturing Intimacy Guide

Looking for more support? Check out my Nurturing Intimacy Webinar

Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected

Podcast Partner

Did you know? Collagen helps women meet their protein needs while supporting skin elasticity, hair growth, and a healthy glow. Needed’s Collagen Protein is easy to add to smoothies, coffee, oatmilk, yogurt, and even savory foods like soups! I love that it’s sustainably and ethically sourced grass-fed bovine with no additives. To get started with Needed’s Collagen Protein, head to ThisIsNeeded.com and use code DRTRACY for 20% off Needed’s Collagen or their other thoughtfully designed perinatal products. 

You’ve prepared everything for baby’s arrival:

✅Birth plan

✅Hospital bag

✅Freezer meals

✅Set up nursery

✅Install car seat

You’ve done the research and checked your list twice.

But did you prepare your relationship?

Many of us have thought that a baby will bring us closer as a couple. Perhaps you haven’t had any noteworthy struggles in your relationship so far and think nothing will change. Or perhaps things have changed a lot since then.

As a mother and a clinician, the thing that strikes me the most is just how much we don’t share our relationship difficulties. The resentment. The moments of anger towards our partner. The feelings of disconnection and like we are ships passing in the night. 

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Cassidy Freitas to talk about the things no one told you would happen in your relationship after having a baby. Dr. Cassidy Freitas is a San Diego based mom to three and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in supporting millennial parents through pregnancy, postpartum, and parenting. She hosts the top-rated parenting podcast HoldingSpace. Every Friday on Instagram Dr. Cassidy shares relatable reels and doses of joy with the funniest TikToks. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• Dr. Cassidy’s experience of becoming a mother [6:30]
• The one thing Dr. Cassidy and Dr. Tracy didn’t prepare before baby [8:30]
• Feelings of fear entering motherhood [11:30]
• Postpartum mental health [12:45]
• The challenge of being a couples therapist who struggles with their relationship [18:15]
• The myth that we will feel closer after baby [19:15]
• What we can do to work through this phase [26:30]
• Values [30:10]
• Generous interpretation [31:15]
• Kids learn by what they observe [37:30]

EPISODE LINKS

Dr Cassidy’s private practice website

Follow Dr. Cassidy on Instagram

Listen to her podcast: Holding Space

Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again

Get intentional every day with your partner. Grab my Daily Rituals Guide

Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass

Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected

Podcast Partner

I am excited to partner with Athletic Greens. AG1 by Athletic Greens is the all-in-one nutritional choice you need in your busy life. It’s simple and tastes great, plus it’s not one more thing to add on your to-do list. As a nutritional drink I take in the morning, it contains 75 vitamins, minerals, and whole-food sourced ingredients. To get started with AG1 and learn more you can visit athleticgreens.com/INYS (INYS as in I'm Not Your Shrink) 

When we first fall in love, there’s an attraction and excitement that sets the person apart from anyone else in the world - yet over time, we shift away from this.

When I polled the community 67% of you said you felt like your partner’s roommate rather than their lover. Conversations feel transactional. There’s a loss of physical connection. The spark feels lost.

But why does this happen? What can we do about it?

 In this episode, I discuss:

• What the honeymoon phase is [0:30]
• Reasons why you might feel like roommates [1:30]
• 7 ideas to try to shift from roommates back into lovers [3:48]

Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again

Get intentional every day with your partner. Grab my Daily Rituals Guide.

Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass

Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected

Podcast Partner

I am excited to partner with Athletic Greens. AG1 by Athletic Greens is the all-in-one nutritional choice you need in your busy life. It’s simple and tastes great, plus it’s not one more thing to add on your to-do list. As a nutritional drink I take in the morning, it contains 75 vitamins, minerals, and whole-food sourced ingredients. To get started with AG1 and learn more you can visit athleticgreens.com/INYS (INYS as in I'm Not Your Shrink) 

Do you find yourself frequently feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated by your environment?

Perhaps you’ve heard those close to you say “You’re too sensitive.”

You’re not alone and in fact, you might be part of the 20-30% of the population that are highly sensitive people. 

Today I am sitting with Natalie Brunswick to talk about highly sensitive people and the impact that being a highly sensitive person can have on our lives.

Natalie Brunswick is a registered occupational therapist and psychotherapist who focuses on supporting parents during the perinatal period, navigating the parenting journey, and beyond. She believes in a holistic, relational, and trauma-informed approach to mental health, wellness, and parenting. She has also been trained with Postpartum Support International and is a proud mom to two amazing boys. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• What a highly sensitive person (HSP) is [4:55] 
• What makes the trauma experience unique for HSP [8:00]
• Traits of HSP we can identify in our children [14:35]
• Family dynamics that show up when there are HSP [22:30]
• How our childhood as an HSP might impact our adult relationships [30:30]
• HPS and attachment styles [34:30] 

EPISODE LINKS

Natalie’s Website

Connect with Natalie on Instagram 

The Highly Sensitive Family Facebook Group

Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again

Get intentional with your partner. Grab my Year in Review guide.

Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass

Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected

Podcast Partner

I am excited to partner with Athletic Greens. AG1 by Athletic Greens is the all-in-one nutritional choice you need in your busy life. It’s simple and tastes great, plus it’s not one more thing to add on your to-do list. As a nutritional drink I take in the morning, it contains 75 vitamins, minerals, and whole-food sourced ingredients. To get started with AG1 and learn more you can visit athleticgreens.com/INYS (INYS as in I'm Not Your Shrink) 

In today’s episode, I talk about 7 things your parents didn’t teach you about relationships, and the things we should tell our children. I polled the community several months ago about this topic and your responses were so cool to see. 

It’s fascinating to see how so many of us didn’t learn how to show up in relationships - things like how to build healthy communication and what a healthy relationship looks like. So let’s deep dive into today’s episode where I’ll share what I think we should help the next generation learn.

EPISODE LINKS

Download my free Year in Review guide

Unicorn Space by Eve Rodsky

Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. 

Grab my 28 Days of Love email series built with evidence-based tools to help you and your partner start to reconnect.

Ready to learn how to repair? Take my free masterclass

Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected

This podcast episode is sponsored by Athletic Greens. Athletic Greens is the all-in-one nutritional choice you need in your busy life. This nutrient-dense formula has 75 vitamins, adaptogens, minerals, and whole-sourced ingredients. To get started with AG1 and learn more you can visit AthleticGreens.com/INYS (INYS as in I'm Not Your Shrink) to claim your bonus of 5 travel packs and a year supply of Vitamin D3 and K2 drops.

Let me set the scene.

The tree is up.

The lights are on.

The decorations are hanging.

And I am envisioning a picture perfect moment… the kids smiling in their Christmas outfits while we all smile for that Instagram-worthy photo.

Cue. Reality.

My kids are now 5 and 7. Hot chocolate ends up on their clothes more than in their bellies. I haven’t sat down all day. And this is nothing like what I envisioned. 

And I pause. I take a breath. I welcome my perfectionistic voice and say, “Oh, hey there, I was wondering when you would show up this holiday season.”

The challenge with social media is that we see these beautifully crafted images without seeing what truly happened before. 

Family photos? Don’t even get me started – you know it didn’t look like “and everyone say cheese!” in one frame. 

Holiday get-togethers? Nope, not everyone is happy 100% of the time. 

The work project? Also probably didn’t go down as it is shown on social media.

The nursery and beautifully captured image of baby laying in the crib? This is the highlight reel.

So many women and mothers show up in my office struggling with high expectations and perfectionism. 

The challenge? Life is not perfect. You are not meant to be perfect. There will be mistakes. It is not possible to be the perfect caregiver, partner and individual.  

And even more so? It’s a trait that society places on us.

And this pressure from society is not helpful.

Join me as I speak with DR. JEN DOUGLAS, a clinical assistant professor at Stanford University, licensed psychologist, and mental wellness speaker. She focuses on helping individuals overcome anxiety, perfectionism and trauma which may be holding them back from living their lives in the most full and authentic way.

In this episode, we discuss:

• 13:47 – What is perfectionism and how does it show up for people?
• 22:23 – Why do I strive for it?
• 34:37 – What is the connection between burnout and perfectionism?
• 48:09 – Overcoming the all-or-nothing thinking
• 53:13 – What you can start doing now to help perfectionism

EPISODE LINKS

Dr. Jen Douglas on Instagram

Check out her Freedom From Perfectionism Course

Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. 

Grab my 28 Days of Love email series built with evidence-based tools to help you and your partner start to reconnect.

Ready to learn how to repair? Take my free masterclass

Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected

This podcast episode is sponsored by Magic Mind. Magic mind is one of the best morning ritual drinks to help improve focus and decrease stress.  To get started head to MagicMind.co and use code Shrink20 to save 40% off your first subscription or 20% off your first one-time purchase. My 40% off code lasts for only 10 days. 

For so many, the holidays stir up so many emotions and old wounds. This is particularly true for parents while they sit in front of their children, seeing their own struggles and triggers being reflected back by their children - a window, an opening to be curious and to heal. And it often brings up questions of - where am I with my parent? How do I feel with them? What works and isn’t working anymore? What am I still holding on to? We’re going to tackle something big today.

Abbey Williams, MSW, LSW is a behavioural health therapist, the found of You, The Mother, the producer and host of the You, The Mother Podcast, Author of “An ABC of Families,” and mother of 4. She is committed to supporting, empowering, and connecting with mothers in all seasons of motherhood. Abbey has been featured in PopSugar, Parents, Romper, and SheKnows. She navigates her blended family/co-parenting life with her husband, four kids, and two sister labs in Cincinnati, OH.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Abbey’s healing journey as she navigates motherhood
• Acknowledging unhelpful dynamics between family members
• Grieving old parts of us that aren’t serving you anymore
• Abbey’s hardest moments on being a mother while also healing old wounds from her family
• The answer to this question: How do I know when I need to cut contact with my family?
• Grieving a mother she didn’t have 

EPISODE LINKS

You The Mother Website

Follow You The Mother on Instagram

Follow You The Mother on Facebook

Follow You The Mother on TikTok

Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. 

Grab my 28 Days of Love email series built with evidence-based tools to help you and your partner start to reconnect.

Ready to learn how to repair? Take my free masterclass

Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected

This podcast episode is sponsored by Needed Brand's new Sleep+Relaxabition Support. Needed's Sleep+Relaxation Support is a science-backed, safe, and effective nutrient and botanical blend that promotes optimal sleep quality, relaxation, and overall cognitive health for mamas. To get started head to ThisIsNeeded.com and use code DRTRACY for 20% off Needed's Sleep+Relaxation Support. 

Social media has recently become a place for mothers to connect and share their real, raw truths, but it hasn’t always been this way. For many, we open up our feeds and are flooded with highlight reels of the lives of others. Perfectly curated holiday pictures, clean homes, and women glowing - it can seem as though every other mother has their life together. 

Am I the ONLY mother who doesn’t love every aspect of motherhood? Am I the only one crying daily and feeling overwhelmed? Does anyone else feel a rush of anger that feels unrecognizable? 

In this episode I sit down with Libby Ward, the Honest Mom, to talk about the myths, shame, and emotions that show up with motherhood. Libby is a digital creator, speaker, and mental health advocate with a deep commitment to breaking the cycles of trauma. Focusing on today’s difficult and complex experiences of mental health, Libby is focused on reaching more women with her perspective-changing stories through her community of over 1.3M on social media.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Anger and rage experienced in motherhood
• Resentment in relationships after having kids
• The changes in our identities after having children
• Supporting mothers in the context that they are mothering in
• Tackling shame and guilt in motherhood

Be sure to check out Libby’s Guided Journal on Amazon! The Honest Mom Journal

EPISODE LINKS

Connect with Libby on Instagram

Follow Libby on TikTok

Check out her website

Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. 

Want to be on the same page with your partner this holiday season? Grab the Same Page Parenting Holiday Webinar and feel like a team with family. 

Ready to learn how to repair? Take my free masterclass

Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected

This podcast episode is sponsored by Needed Brand's Stress Support. Needed's Stress Support Blend supports mood, energy, hormone balance, beauty, and overall well-being to help you feel and look your best. To get started head to ThisIsNeeded.com and use code DRTRACY for 20% off Needed's Stress Support. 

Does it feel like a never-ending cycle with your partner when it comes to setting boundaries with the family? 

Maybe you both end up getting stuck on what you should do when your mother-in-law gives TEN gifts, when you both told her only two. 

What are the missteps in our relationship when it comes to boundaries?

My husband and business partner joins me for today's episode on boundaries. Why bring in Greg? In a heterosexual cis-gender relationship, he has the other side of the experience when it comes to holiday boundaries. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• Who should set the boundaries with extended family
• What it means when we're at different points in our journey with boundaries (e.g., one gets defensive; one is critical)
• Important decisions to consider when it comes to setting boundaries with family 

Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. 

Want to be on the same page with your partner this holiday season? Grab the Same Page Parenting Holiday Webinar and feel like a team with family. 

Ready to learn how to repair? Take my free masterclass

Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected

This podcast episode is sponsored by Magic Mind. Replace the multiple cups of coffee you have each day with a morning ritual that will bring you less stress, and improved focus, and concentration. Visit MagicMind.co and use code Shrink20 to save 40% off your first subscription or 20% off your first one-time purchase. My 40% off code only lasts 10 days - so don't miss out!

Welcome to Season 4!

With each season this community passes new milestones and continues to grow! I am incredibly grateful for you - your DMs, downloads, shares, and comments. Each week, you show up. You bring me your ah-ha moments, your wins, and your struggles. Thank you for joining me here and let's get started with another amazing season!

To kick off the season, I am so excited to bring Dr. Becky Kennedy to this space. New York Times bestselling author and child psychologist, Dr. Becky is referred to as the parent whisperer of our time. If there is one thing that resonates with all of us from Dr. Becky's work, it is this: You are good inside. Your kids are good inside. Let's go into today's episode. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• What it means to sit with emotions [2:38] and what this looks like with our children [4:30] 
• The intergenerational legacy of feelings [8:20] 
• Why acknowledging, validating, and empathizing with others' emotions is not soft [13:15]
• What happens to a child when no one repairs for them and what it means to go back and repair with your child [23:00]

EPISODE LINKS

Dr. Becky Kennedy Good Inside Book

Dr. Becky Good Inside Membership

JOIN ME in my community!

Ready to learn how to repair? Take my free masterclass

Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship

Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected

This podcast episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth. One of my favourite things about my Cozy Earth sheets is how much it helps to regulate my temperature. Cozy Earth is providing 40% off sitewide when you use the code DRTRACYD40

Being a parent brings new challenges to your life, but one that might have surprised you was constantly feeling touched out. Your child is tapping your arm, the furnace is humming, and you're beginning to feel like your head is going to explode. 

So why is this?

In this episode, I sit down with Larissa Geleris, MS, OTR/L from Steady Parents to discuss parenting and sensory overload. Larissa is a licensed occupational therapist specializing in the identification and treatment of sensory processing dysfunction. 

Originally a pediatric therapist, Larissa experienced a life-altering concussion and experienced severe sensory and motor challenges. She soon realized the knowledge she used for her patients was helping her cope and that she could use this to help other parents who are experiencing overstimulation, overwhelm, and dysregulation. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• What is sensory processing? [9:44]
• The three senses you've probably never heard of [10:20]
• How parenting impacts our sensory processing [15:00]
• Why are noises and touch so triggering? [24:58]
• Proactive strategies for sensory overload [37:50]
• Larissa shares a strategy to use in the movement for sensory overload 40:20]
• How do we get our partners to understand what is happening to us? [42:00]

EPISODE LINKS

Steady Parents on Instagram

Steady Parents Website

JOIN ME in my community!

Ready to learn how to repair? Take my free masterclass

Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship

Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected

This podcast episode is sponsored by Needed's Brand new 3-part Women's Health Plan. It included three essential products - Needed's Women's Multi, Women's Omega-3+ and Stress Support. To get started head over to This Is Needed's website and use code DRTRACY100 for $100 off your first 3 months of Needed's Women's Health Plan. 

We are here! Already at the season finale.

Season finales are bittersweet. I have gratitude for all the amazing conversations of this season and I feel sad that we are taking a break!

I love ending the season by taking your questions.

So here are three of YOUR questions that I will answer in this episode:

• How does one deal with the fear of abandonment when you are someone with anxious attachment?
• How do I get my partner to prioritize better?
• How do I navigate the mother wound while feeling low self-esteem, mom-guilt, and exhausted in general? 

Did something resonate with you this episode? If so, be sure to share it with a friend!

Ready to learn how to repair, feel closer after the fight, and connect with your partner? Join me in my FREE MASTERCLASS. I will teach you my 4 A’s on how to repair so that you can look at your partner and feel like a team again.

Join me in my community!

• Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz
• Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass
• Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
• Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship
• Visit my website for more

What’s Coming Next?

We're taking a summer vacation! I'll be back in the fall with more great episodes and conversations. Be sure to leave me a review and send me a DM on Instagram about your topic ideas for next season. I love hearing from you!

Subscribe and Review in iTunes

"This podcast provides sound advice, examples, and information for the modern mother navigating a world full of opposing advice. I feel uplifted and empowered after listening." ~ Kat&Babe_

I would love to hear from you. I would be so grateful if you left me a review on iTunes. I love hearing what you have to say about the episode, but also so that others who might benefit from listening to this podcast can find it!

Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review.” I can’t wait to hear from you!

Many people don't think of divorces as happy, which is why the story from today's guests is an important one!

When Nikki DeBartolo and Benjamin Heldond got divorced, they devised a strategy to put their son's needs first.

Together, they helped each other heal and build a new, blended, family. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• How Nikki and Ben came to be "Our Happy Divorce"
• The markers/moments that they knew it was time to divorce
• When you're trying to find the "right" way through separation
• Nikki's and Ben's response to someone who says "I have to stay for the kids"
• Their individual pain points in their divorce
• Their prioritization of their son
• The key piece of respect and mutuality

For more from Our Happy Divorce:

• Follow them on Instagram
• Learn more about their book
• Head over to their website

Ready to learn how to repair, feel closer after the fight, and connect with your partner? Join me in my FREE MASTERCLASS. I will teach you my 4 A’s on how to repair so that you can look at your partner and feel like a team again.

Join me in my community!

• Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz
• Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass
• Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
• Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship
• Visit my website for more

What’s Coming Next?

The season finale where I answer YOUR questions!

Subscribe and Review in iTunes

"This podcast provides sound advice, examples, and information for the modern mother navigating a world full of opposing advice. I feel uplifted and empowered after listening." ~ Kat&Babe_

I would love to hear from you. I would be so grateful if you left me a review on iTunes. I love hearing what you have to say about the episode, but also so that others who might benefit from listening to this podcast can find it!

Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review.” I can’t wait to hear from you!

"My partner isn't willing to change - what do I do?"

We love certainty and the only thing that is certain about our relationships is that we cannot control other people.

It's really challenging when our partners are not interested in learning to shift - especially since a couple is two people that make up the struggles. 

In this episode, I discuss:

• What if your partner doesn't want to change?
• Can change happen when only one person is ready?

Ready to learn how to repair, feel closer after the fight, and connect with your partner? Join me in my FREE MASTERCLASS. I will teach you my 4 A’s on how to repair so that you can look at your partner and feel like a team again.

Join me in my community!

• Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz
• Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass
• Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
• Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship
• Visit my website for more

What’s Coming Next?

When change feels one-sided. What are we left to do?

Subscribe and Review in iTunes

"This podcast provides sound advice, examples, and information for the modern mother navigating a world full of opposing advice. I feel uplifted and empowered after listening." ~ Kat&Babe_

I would love to hear from you. I would be so grateful if you left me a review on iTunes. I love hearing what you have to say about the episode, but also so that others who might benefit from listening to this podcast can find it!

Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review.” I can’t wait to hear from you!

Do you find yourself asking…

How do we feel close again after we just had a disagreement? 

My partner doesn’t like to come back and talk about the hard stuff. 

My partner doesn’t apologize. I always have to bring up the hard conversations.  

I get it. 

This is a common experience in our relationships. 

The reality?

We didn’t learn how to repair. It was never modelled to us or it came attached with a lot of shame.

And yet, repairing is one of the most important things we need to do in our relationship because without it, we are more likely to build resentment and disconnection. 

In today’s episode, I get to sit with Dr. Morgan Anderson. A previous guest on the podcast (Season 2, Episode 21, a must listen), we talk about:

• What happens in relationships when you can’t work through conflict
• Why you need to repair
• Difficulties with repair through an attachment style lens

Ready to learn how to repair, feel closer after the fight, and connect with your partner? Join me in my FREE MASTERCLASS. I will teach you my 4 A’s on how to repair so that you can look at your partner and feel like a team again.

Learn More About Today's Guest:

Dr. Morgan is a clinical psychologist and relationship coach, host of the “Let’s Get Vulnerable” podcast and creator of the E.S.L relationship method. She helps women break the toxic dating cycle, raise their self-worth and attract the healthy relationship they’ve always wanted. Make sure you head over to her IG page and send her a DM to say hello!

Join me in my community!

• Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz
• Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass
• Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
• Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship
• Visit my website for more

One of the most common concerns I hear is, "My partner is struggling with their mental health, what do I do?"

Dr. Kojo joins me on the podcast to discuss how mental health can show up in relationships.

Dr. Kojo Sarfo, DNP, PMHNP-BC is a social media content creator, mental health nurse practitioner, and psychotherapist with over two million followers on all of his social media channels (TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Twitch, Triller).

He posts skits, songs, and videos in order to bring people together and promote mental health awareness. On social media, he uses relevant trends and popular music to educate individuals about mental health conditions and the importance of self-care. Dr. Kojo is also the author of Amazon's best-selling book titled "You Already Won". He is also working on his second book, which will be a mental health workbook.

He is also the host of Late Night w/Dr. Kojo - which is a daily live show that streams primarily on Facebook on Monday-Thursdays at 6pm PST/9pm EST.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What inspired Dr. Kojo to start his TikTok videos and online media presence
• How does ADHD impact a couple? What are some things people should be aware of?
• What can people do in their relationships when their partner is coping with mental health difficulties
• What are the top three things you wish everyone know about mental health?

Connect with Dr. Kojo:

• Follow him on Facebook
• Follow him on TikTok
• Follow him on Instagram
• Check out his YouTube channel
• Watch The Late Night with Dr. Kojo on Facebook

Join me in my community!

• Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz
• Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
• Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship
• Visit my website for more

What’s Coming Next?

Dr. Morgan Anderson on why you need to repair in your relationship.

Subscribe and Review in iTunes

"This podcast provides sound advice, examples, and information for the modern mother navigating a world full of opposing advice. I feel uplifted and empowered after listening." ~ Kat&Babe_

I would love to hear from you. I would be so grateful if you left me a review on iTunes. I love hearing what you have to say about the episode, but also so that others who might benefit from listening to this podcast can find it!

Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review.” I can’t wait to hear from you!

Growing up we learn so much from our mothers and growing up the messaging we receive is "obey thy mother."

The things we learned from our mothers growing up and the way they coped in the world show up in us, throughout our lives.

But

What if our mother was wrong?

What if they are passing along their own trauma?

What if they cross our boundaries and teach us not to listen to ourselves?

Bethany Webster began blogging in 2013 about the Mother Wound and quickly experienced a worldwide demand for her work. Though blending research on intergenerational trauma, feminist history, and psychology with her own personal story, Bethany's work is the result of decades of research and her own journey of healing.

She is a writer, international speaker, and transformational coach around the world sharing her growing body of work that is raising the standard of women's leadership and personal development. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• What is the Mother Wound?
• How does shame, guilt, and fear play a role?
• What does the Mother Wound look like for women?
• Why is it important to heal it?
• What happens in our lives when we are willing to heal?

To Learn with Bethany:

• Visit her website
• Check out her book
• Learn more about her online course
• Join her facebook group

Join me in my community!

• Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz
• Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
• Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship
• Visit my website for more

What’s Coming Next?

Healing after conflict: why you need repair in your relationship with special guest Dr. Morgan Anderson.

Subscribe and Review in iTunes

Lovely Addition to Personal + Couple's Therapy

“I just love listening to her podcasts. Super resourceful and I definitely recommend taking a listen" ~ Afireinside7

I would love to hear from you. I would be so grateful if you left me a review on iTunes. I love hearing what you have to say about the episode, but also so that others who might benefit from listening to this podcast can find it!

Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review.” I can’t wait to hear from you!

You finally have a minute to pause and relax. As you hold your cup of coffee, just heated up for the fourth time, and look around your house, you feel overwhelmed.

How can you relax when the mess keeps triggering you?

I get it. There can be so much stuff in our homes that we stop feeling happy in our space, get stuck getting rid of things, and in general, feel a sense of overwhelm by everything going on.

Enter Katy Wells. She is a decluttering expert, podcaster, and simplifier, a boy mom, and she knows how to help you declutter your home and your life. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why are we so triggered by mess?
• What are the negative thoughts, emotions, and beliefs that come up with mess?
• Identifying when your "stuff" owns you, and what you can do to shift out of this
• Letting go of things that feel sentimental
• And Katy's top tips to help you start living a simplified and decluttered life

To Learn with Katy:

• Follow Katy on Instagram
• Take her 14-day challenge
• Check out her toy course

Join me in my community!

• Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz
• Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
• Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship
• Visit my website for more

What’s Coming Next?

The Mother wound with Bethany Webster.

Subscribe and Review in iTunes

Lovely Addition to Personal + Couple's Therapy

“I just love listening to her podcasts. Super resourceful and I definitely recommend taking a listen" ~ Afireinside7

I would love to hear from you. I would be so grateful if you left me a review on iTunes. I love hearing what you have to say about the episode, but also so that others who might benefit from listening to this podcast can find it! 

Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review.” I can’t wait to hear from you!

A client once told me through tears that she hadn't been honouring her, and she pointed to her body.

I could see reflected in her face the experiences of so many women - including me.

It wasn't just a week of not listening to her body. It was years. Possibly her whole lifetime.

We build these inner dialogues and narratives around our bodies and food, many of them being unconscious that guide us to make daily decisions. Some of these decisions leave us feeling good, albeit temporarily. While many of these are more examples of ways that we deeply abandon ourselves - the inner wisdom that our bodies hold.

In this episode, I'm sitting down with Dr. Meagan Gallagher, psychologist at Integrated Wellness, on how we can start to listen to our bodies and goss these old messages around size, food, and body.  

In this episode, we discuss:

• The common harmful and negative messages we learn about our bodies
• Breaking the connection between body size and self-worth (hint: stop saying to yourself that you'll do something when you lose those 5 pounds)
• The connection between stress and food (and how we can use our bodies to shift this)
• Learning to sit in discomfort and acknowledging that our bodies are noisy
• How to support someone if you suspect they are struggling with their body
• When to seek professional help

Join me in my community!

• Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz
• Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
• Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship
• Visit my website for more

Does your partner share everything with their parents?

This episode dives into this topic after receiving a question from one of our community members. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• What kind of impact could sharing everything with your extended family/mother-in-law have on you? Your relationship with your partner? Your relationship with their family?
• Exploring triangulation and scapegoat dynamics
• Key questions for you to explore within yourself
• The reason behind your partner's sharing
• How to move forward

Join me in my community!

• Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz
• Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
• Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship
• Visit my website for more

One of the most common complaints I receive is, "We never talk about the hard stuff."

What's the barrier to turning towards each other and talking?

For many, it's time.

For others, it's not wanting to upset the other person.

Dr. Morgan Cutlip joins me on the podcast for this episode. Dr. Morgan is a relationship expert and owner of My Love Thinks. If you are struggling with the mental load, be sure to check out Season 2 Episode 6 and Dr. Morgan's great Instagram space @MyLoveThinks. Dr. Morgan and I also have a boundary webinar that we created together. 

In this episode, Dr. Morgan and I break apart all the details around the Weekly Check-In Meeting - a key strategy we encourage all of our clients to use. We talk about:

• The common objections to the weekly meeting
• How attachment styles may play a role in approaching our partners and how the weekly meeting can help you navigate this
• How we can tackle these barriers
• Why this meeting matters
• Our top question to put in this meeting
• And our confession - do we use this tool in our relationships?

I want to hear from you. What ONE question would you want to ask each other this week?

Join me in my community!

• Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz
• Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
• Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship
• Visit my website for more

We're getting ready for another holiday season. With Passover, Good Friday, Easter, Eastern Orthodox Easter, and Ramadan coming up, it seemed like a great time to ask you, my community, some important questions about family get togethers and talk about how you want to show up.

When it comes to family gatherings, 46% of you feel "okay negative" about them.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What you can and cannot control when it comes to our family, including acknowledging a key emotion that shows up here
• Shifting towards consciously choosing so that you can show up aligned
• Being a united front with your partner

Join me in my community!

• Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz
• Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
• Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship
• Visit my website for more

Many said you have negative feelings about things you cannot control (86%). That's a lot!

One of the things we must recognize is that family gatherings bring out things that we have no control over, including:

• Other's views of you
• Toxic behaviours and comments
• When others push your boundaries

... and more.

For the parents who just want their child to be happy.

When I told my daughter that I just needed five minutes before I could rub her back at bedtime, she screamed at me. And what I did next was not my best moment. I could feel it coming over me. I screamed back at her. I know so many parents get to this point - the exhaustion and overwhelm. The Demands. Being pulled in so many directions.

We raise our voice. We show up not aligned with how we want to. We maybe even slip into shame.

It was my luck that I was sitting with Dr. Shefali the next day for the podcast. It was my luck that I was sitting with Dr. Shefali the next day for the podcast. Dr. Shefali is an acclaimed author, international speaker, and clinical psychologist. 

In this episode, we talk about:

• Navigating one of the hardest relationships in our life - with our children
• When our expectations are not met and setting our own boundaries
• Building compassion with ourselves as parents
• How do we approach the meltdowns
• How do I get my partner to do this work too

To learn more about Dr. Shefali:

• Visit her website
• Check out her coaching program
• Follow her on instagram

Join me in my community!

• Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz
• Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
• Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship
• Visit my website for more

What’s Coming Next?

I'm answering your questions in preparation for another holiday. How can we navigate difficult situations with our in-laws and family? 

In this week's podcast, I answer your question.

Q. Dear Dr. Tracy. Every time I try to share something with my partner, he goes and makes it about himself. Recently, I was trying to share about an issue with my sister. He got so heated and upset - we've had frequent conflict about my sister - that I ended up stop asking for the support that I needed. I'm not sure what to do in these moments, but I do know that resentment is building up and it doesn't feel good. - Nicole 

In this episode, we discuss:

• Different ways to approach a conversation
• Recognizing why your partner might do this
• How to respond at two different times

Looking for more:

• Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz
• Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
• Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship
• Visit my website for more

What’s Coming Next?

I sit down with Dr. Shefali and dive into the world of conscious parenting. 

Did you know that 1 in 4 couples sleep in separate beds?1

Despite this common experience, many people continue to feel a lot of stigma around speaking out about their need for a restful night's sleep - which may mean sleeping in a different room from your lover.

People tend to learn that there must be something wrong with a relationship if a couple is sleeping in separate beds.

There is a term for sleeping in separate beds that contributes to this learned stigma: "Sleep divorce." This term implies that sleeping apart is a sign of a relationship lacking in love and sex.

But what if you continue to sleep in the same bed with restless night's sleep? Does your relationship improve or deteriorate? Are you more snappy and short with your partner the next day because their snoring kept you awake? Or maybe you feel a missing desire for your partner because you're the one waking with the baby all the time.

I invited Renee Reina, Ph.D. in Psychology and host of the top-ranking parenting podcast "The Mom Room" to break through the stigma and talk about prioritizing sleep and continuing to nurture our relationships.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Renee's community's surprising response to her disclosure of sleeping in separate rooms
• Early messaging around parents not sharing beds
• The relationship progression she experienced in terms of bed sharing and sleeping with her partner
• When sleeping in separate beds works - and when it doesn't
• Prioritizing and making choices to nurture her relationship

Links:

• Listen to Renee's progression of their relationship and sleep, tune into Episode 44
• Tune into our episode together on Mom Room about resentment and relationships 
• Join me in my online community, Be Connected, to learn how to improve your communication and connection.

Our collective experiences recently have been beyond challenging. The frequent suggestions of "go for a walk" are often not enough anymore.

Enter Eve Rodsky, an expert in family mediation and organizational management, and author of New York Time's bestselling book Fair Play and Finding Your Unicorn Space. Her message to us is to burn our guilt and get rid of other toxic messages that stop us from doing the very thing we need to find ourselves - and that is to find our Unicorn Space.

Eve and I talk about finding your creative space to ensure a life lived aligned with your values.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why women are so burnt out
• What is the Unicorn Space and why it's so important
• 3 permissions you need to give yourself (Hint: something you need to do with your guilt!)
• Taking responsibility and choosing discomfort over comfort

To Learn With Eve:

• Visit her website
• Follow her on instagram
• Check out her newest book

Join Me in My Community:

• Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take my free quiz
• Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
• Join my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship
• Visit my website for more!

This episode is quite a bit different than every other episode this season. I asked the community, via Instagram, to submit questions and I picked some to answer similar to a Dear Abby column.

As we close out Season 2 I want to thank this beautiful community - especially since we've hit the 100K download milestone! We truly would not be here without each of you listening and sharing it with those you love.

One of the most powerful things I have learned is what it means to rest. Just like flowers aren't always in bloom, we all have seasons and require periods of rest so we can bloom again. As this season comes to a close I will be taking time this summer to focus on rest.

Stay tuned for season 3 Fall 2021! Be sure to hit subscribe so you will be the first to know when the new season drops.

In this episode, I answer your questions!

Now it’s your turn! Join me over on Instagram, or leave me a note here about what you would like to see on the podcast.

What’s Coming Next?

Stay tune for Season 3 in Fall 2021!

What happens when you sit two relationship experts down for a chat?

This episode is just that - two relationship experts, one conversation.

Everyone has their own attachment style, it's the way we build and respond to relationships. When we understand our attachment styles we can better help our relationship maintain healthy boundaries.

Speaking of boundaries, have you ever sat down with your partner to discuss your boundaries within the relationship?

In this episode I sit down with Dr. Morgan Anderson to discuss attachment styles and growth edges within relationships.

Dr. Morgan Anderson is a clinical psychologist and relationship coach, host of the “Let’s Get Vulnerable” podcast and creator of the E.S.L relationship method. She helps women break the toxic dating cycle, raise their self-worth and attract the healthy relationship they’ve always wanted. She’s on Instagram @drmorgancoaching - make sure you head over to her page and send her a DM to say hello

In this episode, we discuss the following:

• Communicating in relationships and finding your boundaries
• Using your attachment style to tune into how you show up in your relationship
• Finding your growth areas for each attachment style
• What security can look like in a relationship

What’s Coming Next?

My next episode is the season finale where I answer your questions!

Have you ever reached a point, through your motherhood journey, where you felt like something needed to change in order for you to be happy?

Perhaps you felt as though your needs were somehow lost in the mix while you were putting everyone else's needs ahead of your own. Who looks out for mom when she's taking care of everyone else?

But what if I told you the change you need in order to reach happiness comes from within?

This episode's guest is on a mission to encourage women, especially mothers, to prioritize themselves and choose to set time aside to do what makes them happy, outside of motherhood.

In this episode I sit down with Katie to discuss her journey through motherhood including learning to love her body and putting herself first.

Katie is a working Mom of three, a self-love advocate, a true believer in the mental and physical benefits of exercise, and she's on a personal mission to encourage women (especially Moms!) to put themselves on the top of their priority lists.

During her second postpartum season, Katie - craving connection, and determined to develop self love and confidence - began sharing her life publicly on Instagram. What began as an accountability page for her postpartum fitness journey, grew into an authentic, vulnerable, and relatable journal of self acceptance, body respect, and the highs and lows of motherhood.

In this episode, we discuss the following:

• Learning to care for ourselves as mothers
• Katie's a-ha moment of realizing she had to prioritize herself, as no one else could do this for her
• Shifting out of goal focused body confidence to body positivity
• Waiting for motivation or time to show up (when it never really does)
• Showing up authentically with others

Why is it that we treat men's time as if it is as "precious as diamonds" and women's time as if it is as "infinite as sand?" (As this week's podcast guest stated it).

Chances are you never sat down with your partner, before moving in together, getting married, or having children, to discuss who does what. Who takes the trash out? Who buys the mustard? Who care for the children when they are home sick from school? Who coordinates their activities and schoolwork? If needed, who leaves their job to become a full-time parent?

But how have mothers become the default?

In this episode I sit down with Eve Rodsky to discuss mental load and her book FAIR PLAY. In her New York Times bestselling book FAIR PLAY, she uses her Harvard Law School training and years of organizational management experience to create a life-management system to help couples both rebalance all of the work it takes to run a home and reimagine their relationship, time and purpose.

Eve Rodsky received her B.A. in economics and anthropology from the University of Michigan, and her J.D. from Harvard Law School. After working in foundation management at J.P. Morgan, she founded the Philanthropy Advisory Group to advise high-net worth families and charitable foundations on best practices for harmonious operations, governance and disposition of funds. In her work with hundreds of families over a decade, she realized that her expertise in family mediation, strategy, and organizational management could be applied to a problem closer to home – a system for couples seeking balance, efficiency, and peace in their home. Rodsky was born and raised by a single mom in New York City and now lives in Los Angeles with her husband and their three children.  

In this episode, we discuss the following:

• The smoothie requirements for Eve’s partner that led to building the Fair Play system and impacting change for women and couples
• Losing our identities and the importance of the unicorn space
• When resentment shows up in our relationships
• The Fair Play system and breaking down the CPE (Conceptualization, Planning, and Execution)

Step moms seem to get a bad rap in movies - even cast in a poor light and labeled "Evil Stepmothers."

In reality, stepmothers are human beings parachuted into co parenting arrangements they had no part in making.

It can feel like fitting a circle peg into a square-shaped hole. You might be told you aren't a 'real' mother and in the same breath criticized for not being involved enough.

No one hands you instructions on how to be a stepmother and there sure isn't a one-size-fits-all approach.

In this episode, I sit down with Jamie Scrimgeour, a Life Coach specializing in Stepfamily Dynamics and the creator of The Exclusive Stepmom Community. We discuss her experience with becoming a stepmother and how her identity has changed since then.

Jamie Scrimgeour is a mom of one and a stepmom of three with kids ranging in ages from 6-18. Jamie creates raw, real, and relatable digital content about all things parenting, step-parenting, entrepreneurship, and living a KICK-ASS Life. She is also the host of The Jamie Scrimgeour Podcast. With candidness and humor, Jamie uses her personal and professional experience to support woman in living their best life. 

In this episode, we discuss the following:

• Jamie’s journey to becoming a step mom, as well as having a baby with a partner who already has children
• The role of perfectionism and control that gets in the way of connecting with ourselves and our families
• The stigmas and negative beliefs others have of step moms (and how this is different from step dads)
• Setting boundaries when there are so many demands and hats to wear
• Managing transition days and keeping a calendar
• Navigating challenges, boundaries, and growth in your relationship as you navigate what it means to be a blended family
• Shifting into acceptance and your identity as a step mom

Now it’s your turn! Join me over on Instagram, or leave me a note here about your experience as a step mom.

What’s Coming Next?

My next episode is with Eve Rodsky, author of Fair Play, where we will talk all about the mental load and creating balance in your relationship

"Don't go to bed angry" is probably one of the most common well wishes provided to newly weds during evening toasts and handwritten cards.

But what this misses is that if you are escalated and angry, the last thing you should do is continue to talk about the issue at hand. When both partners are flooded and overwhelmed, this is a recipe for additional hurt words that do not get unheard.

In this episode, I sit down with Greg, co-owner of Integrated Wellness, my business partner, my co-parent, and my partner in life, to discuss some of the common stereotypes, misperceptions and myths in romantic relationships. 

In this episode, we discuss:

- Not going to bed angry and what you can do instead

- Is it love at first sight?

- Are having disagreements dealbreakers?

- Does validating my partner mean they are right?

- "Happy wife, happy life"

- The idea that women should be the ones to stay at home with the kids and how this is a huge myth in our own home

- The stay at home parent isn't really "working"

- Women hold the cards in the relationship to make things work

"You're young..." "You'll get pregnant again..." "At least you have a healthy child..." "At least you can get pregnant..."

It's estimated that nearly 1 in 4 pregnancies results in a miscarriage. Yet somehow most of us are unaware of how many people we know that have experienced pregnancy loss until we experience one.

Feelings of isolation, self-blame, guilt, and shame can pour in during the aftermath of a loss, however the experience of pregnancy loss is incredibly personal and does not impact two people the same way.

An out of order loss can make it difficult for our support networks to know what we need and what to do, leading to an array of platitudes.

But how do we deal with these feelings and the platitudes?

I sat down with Dr. Jessica Zucker the creator of the #IHadAMisscarriage campaign and the psychologist behind the Instagram account @IHadAMiscarriage. Together we discussed our personal experiences with miscarriage, common themes that show up for mothers after, and the challenges that come with asking for support when a loss has occurred.

Dr. Jessica Zucker is a Los Angeles-based reproductive and maternal mental health psychologist. She specialized in this field long before experiencing a second trimester miscarriage firsthand. She earned a Ph.D. in clinical psychology, a Master's degree in human development, as well as a Master's degree in public health. Her educational pursuits married with her clinical practice and research have lead her to write extensively on this topic for outlets such as The New York Times, The Washington Post, New York Magazine, and Vogue. Her first book I HAD A MISCARRIAGE: A Memoir, a Movement is available now (Feminist Press + Penguin Random House Audio)

In this episode, we discuss:

• What lead Dr. Jessica Zucker to do this work and her own personal journey
• The themes that show up for mothers after miscarriage
• The platitudes that are offered by others and how to cope
• Dealing with uncertainty and grief surrounding miscarriage and control
• Dealing with self-blame, guilt, and shame
• How fixing is the denial of emotional intimacy
• Coping with the anxiety of getting pregnant again after a loss

Now it’s your turn! Join me over on Instagram, or leave me a note here about your experience with miscarriage.

What’s Coming Next?

My next episode is with a special guest that has changed my world, and we are going to bust through the common relationship myths that couples can fall into.

Have you ever thought to yourself "are we having enough sex?" or maybe you have fallen into a rut where you can recall step-by-step how each time will go because nothing ever changes.

Could anyone else be feeling this way too?

In most relationship we will find mismatched sex drives, doubts, unspoken desires, and self-esteem issues blending into the bedroom.

Sex is something humans do, but for many women we've been socialized to hate our bodies, minimize our desires, and to not talk with our partners about sex.

I was able to sit down this week with a fellow college, Vanessa Marin, to talk all things about sex and intimacy, like what kind of myths about sex women hold, the role of body confidence in our sexuality, the foundations of desire, and what makes sex great.

Vanessa Marin is a licensed psychotherapist specializing in sex therapy. She's here to help you stop feeling embarrassed about sex and start having way more fun in the bedroom.

She has a bachelor's degree in Human Sexuality and Sociology from Brown University, and a master's degree in Counseling Psychology. She writes for The New York Times, Allure, and Lifehacker, and has been featured in over 1,000 times in major publications like O, The Oprah Magazine, Harper's Bazaar, Refinery29, and Real SImple.

Vanessa specializes in online programs that help you transform your sex life from ordinary to extraordinary, all from the comfort and privacy of your own home. Through Courses like The Passion Project: A Couple's Blueprint To Rediscovering Desire And Reigniting The Spark and Finishing School: Learn How To Orgasm and Orgasm With A Partner, she finds immense joy in spreading the message that we all deserve more from our sex lives. 

Have you ever had someone say to you "I'm sorry about your divorce?" or maybe you've said this to someone.

Is there really something to be sorry for?

"It was a choice I had to make and for other people, who don't understand what it is to be in a bad marriage and how hard it is to get yourself out of it, all they feel for you is sadness."

Sometimes marriages just don't work. Toxic relationships can bring out the worst versions of ourselves and we just know it's time to move on.

Moving on and your relationship with yourself after is what we are talking about in today's podcast episode as I sit with Michelle Dempsey-Multack to talk about divorce.

Michelle Dempsey-Multack is a co-parenting mom, author, divorce coach and certified divorce specialist helping women move on before, during, and after divorce.

We all know that feeling when someone apologizes but doesn't really apologize. Or what about for ourselves, when we aren't sure we have anything to apologize.

Why is apologizing so hard? What makes a good apology?

So many women and mothers show up in my office struggling with high expectations  and perfectionism. 

The challenge? Life is not perfect. You are not meant to be perfect. There will be mistakes. It is not possible to be the perfect caregiver, partner and individual.  

And even more so? It’s a trait that society places on us.

And it’s not healthy.

Join me as I speak with Dr. Jen Douglas, a clinical assistant professor at Stanford University, licensed psychologist, and mental wellness speaker. She focuses on helping individuals overcome anxiety, perfectionism and trauma which may be holding them back from living their lives in the most full and authentic way.

In this episode, we discuss:

• 13:47 - What is perfectionism and how does it show up for people?
• 22:23 - Why do I strive for it?
• 34:37 - What is the connection between burnout and perfectionism?
• 48:09 - Overcoming the all or nothing thinking
• 53:13 - What you can start doing now to help perfectionism

To find our more about Dr. Jen Douglas, visit her on Instagram or check out her Freedom from Perfectionism course.

One of the biggest struggles being seen with dealing with COVID19?

The uncertainty. 

What does this look like tomorrow? Next month? This winter? 

So it's no wonder that 85% of the women I polled said they were stressed out and experiencing burnout. 

Today, I sit with Dr. Julie Beaulac to talk about how we can calm the F*#$ down by re-tuning our nervous systems. And ultimately, if we can retune our nervous systems, we can master burnout. Dr. Beaulac is a registered psychologist and consultant based in Ottawa, Canada. She is also a mindfulness and yoga teacher and an enthusiast of all things movement and in nature. She works with individuals, groups, and organizations to become more engaged, productive, and happier in their lives. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• 13;01 - What is leading us to burn out?
• 18:19 - What happens inside of us when we experience chronic stress? 
• 21:14 -  Explaining polyvagal theory
• 28:42 - How to hack our vagus nerve
• 37:47  - Quick and easy ways to retune and calm your nervous system

Grab Dr. Beaulac’s free guide to the 5 QUICK and EASY things you can do right now to find calm. Click here to download. 

Looking for more to tackle burnout? Dr. Beaulac and I have a special BLACK FRIDAY SALE for our e-course Beyond Burnout. Save $100 off with promo code F2020 (because it’s just that kind of year). You can overcome burnout. Click here for more information.

Take a moment and reflect on the year of 2020. 

Sidenote. It’s already November 3rd!

Did you get all of the projects completed that you wanted to?  Make all of the moves you planned to? Start that new workout routine, begin to eat healthier, and find extra time in the day to be with your friends and family? 

Let’s be honest, the answer is probably “no.” 

And you are not alone in that. 

In today’s episode we slow down and talk about the stress of 2020 and how, as a female, this affects your body. And we need to be aware of this! 

Join me and Dr. Sarah Vadeboncoeur as we dive into how the stress of 2020 is affecting your hormones, your sex drive and so many other systems in your body.

Dr. Sarah Vadeboncoeur helps women reboot their thyroid for energy they can count on. She is the owner of Docere Naturopathic Clinic located in the heart of Little Italy in Ottawa and has been working for the past decade to help women who are suffering from fatigue, thyroid conditions and hormone imbalances. Her mission is to help women get back to a healthy, happy, feel-good life. Dr. Sarah believes health is the result of creating new habits, one small step at a time. She helps make lifestyle changes feel possible and enjoyable and she truly believes that coffee, chocolate and wine can be part of a healthy diet.

In this episode, we discuss:

• 12:08 - What stress is doing to women in 2020
• 16:57 - The bodily systems that are impacted by stress
• 23:45 - The drive to thrive and push to measure our worth
• 38:04 - Why tuning into your cycle is so important in the overall management of your health and stress
• 39:34 - The different phases of your cycle
• 1:00:15 - Top tip for managing stress today

We all long to know that we matter to the ones we love. We have an innate need for emotional contact and security, and these attachment needs are healthy and adaptive.  

But at times, we question if we are important to our partners or if we matter.

When our attachment figures - our partners - are not reliably accessible and supportive, the ability to securely attach is undermined. Insecurity develops when there are repeated experiences of nonattunement and noncontingent communication, and our partners are repeatedly unavailable and rejecting. How we ask for our needs will depend on our attachment style. When we do not feel secure, we must find other ways to cope with this stress.

How can we cope when we struggle with insecurity? This is exactly what I talk about in this episode. I sit with Elizabeth Earnshaw, a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Certified Gottman Therapist. She owns A Better Life Therapy in Philadelphia, PA where she and her colleagues have supported hundreds of couples. Elizabeth also writes and speaks on relationships. She shares many of her insights on her Instagram account, @lizlistens, and within her membership program Love Lessons 365.

In this episode, we discuss:

• 4:54 - What is attachment theory
• 14:37 - How can someone who is more anxiously attached become more secure?
• 18;40 - What does avoidant attachment look like?
• 23:12 - What is key for the development of secure attachment?
• 31:48 - How to train your body in those tough disagreements
• 37:39 - A conversation around “We marry our unfinished business”
• 42:07 - Strategies for next steps

We all have triggers.

Our partners all have triggers.

And they are not always the same things.

Building a relationship that brings an understanding of each other’s triggers, strengths and differences is complicated.

When we bring compassion, understanding, kindness and accountability into our relationships, our love and connection blossoms.

In this episode, Michaela Thomas, clinical psychologist, couples therapist and founder of the private psychology practice The Thomas Connection, and I discuss build compassion for healthy and strong relationships:

7:23 - The Fire Triangle of Relationships

22:59 - The 3 Parts of Compassion

29:12 - Motherhood & Compassion

33:13 - Defining Compassion & Mindfulness

46:07 - What you can do in your relationship to start using compassion

Links From This Episode:

Michaela Thomas on IG

Pause*Purpose*Play Group on Facebook

The Thomas Connection

The Lasting Connection Book Now Available

In June of this year, I was asked to speak at a conference on imposter syndrome for women in business.  Being one of my goals for the year, I was super excited and quickly said yes.

Then, a feeling crept in.

This feeling of “who are you to speak in front of all those women?” and “do you really have anything to share that they already don’t know?”

Have you been there before?  When you start feeling like an imposter and that you are not qualified or worthy of that opportunity?

That’s what Amanda Tobe, an Industrial Organizational Psychologist from Toronto, Canada,  and I are diving into on the podcast today: Imposter Syndrome.  Whether this is a new term for you, or an old familiar face, Amanda shares how to move beyond imposter syndrome that may be holding you back:

• 7:10 - Amanda’s personal experience with Imposter Syndrome
• 8:58 - What is Imposter Syndrome?
• 12:21 - How your core beliefs support Imposter Syndrome
• 21:14 - Imposter Syndrome and Self Sabotaging
• 22:19 - The 3R’s to  help you overcome Imposter Syndrome
• 37:07 - Growth Mindsets and the Key Factors
• 41:32 - How you can use fear in a positive way

Links from this episode:

Free E-Book: Leading Through Crisis and Transition: A COVID19 toolkit to help you lead with strength, intention, and grace

Book: Own your Greatness: Overcome Impostor Syndrome, Beat Self-Doubt and Succeed in Life (by authors Lisa Orbé-Austin and Richard Orbé-Austin

Book: Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo

We know that women and mothers carry a higher mental load than their partners. It isn’t just completing the household and childcare tasks, it is also the mental and emotional work that it takes to remember to do these tasks.

The mental load became even more evident to me after my second child was born. It wasn’t just going to the doctor appointments for check ups, it was remembering to schedule them. It wasn’t just showing up for the birthday parties, it was buying the gifts and remembering to RSVP.

In this episode, Dr. Morgan Cutlip, relationship coach and owner of My Love Thinks, and I discuss the mental load:

• 5:05 - Our own stories of addressing the mental load in our relationships
• 8:19 - Taking the invisible and making it visible
• 16:28 - How women tend to self-sabotage addressing the mental load
• 29:28 - Dealing with the guilt that shows up when we start to change
• 39:09 - How to address this with our partners

 To find out more about Dr. Cutlip, you can visit her blog here, check out her course for couples on coping with the mental load, and be sure to follow her on Instagram.

When I returned to work after my second maternity leave, I was doing it all.

Eight clients back to back.

An hour commute home.

Nursing my daughter.

Building a website. 

Creating a podcast.

The list goes on. I was feeling exhausted. I was often dizzy and short of breath (despite looking after regular meals, water intake, and sleep). And then my body started screaming at me, telling me that I needed to stop. 

This. Was. Burnout. 

If you have experienced burnout, or think you might be experiencing it, you are not alone. In this episode, I speak with Mallory Rowan, coach and speaker, and a recovered woman from burnout, about moving towards living your life and business in alignment with what matters most to you: 

• 9:26 - Mallory’s experience with burnout
• 13:01 - Signs and symptoms of burnout
• 18:39 - How to start recovering from burnout
• 26:49 - The mindsets that put us at risk for burnout
• 30:41 - Mallory’s non-negotiables for managing self-care
• 44:26 - Strategies to help live a meaningful life

For Mallory’s free guide to help you master your Instagram bio, click here.

Overwhelmed.

Can you relate to this feeling? 

Overwhelmed with the number of things you need to get done. From cleaning the house, homeschooling your kids, organizing meals, working, maintaining friendships, and connecting with your partner - the list goes on.

But what would happen if you took a pause? Took a deliberate moment to rest through the day.

In this episode, I connect with Allison Keating, founder of bWell Clinic in Ireland, about how we can move out of the mindset of being a perfect woman and giving ourselves the space to not always please, perform or be perfect.  Here are a few of the highlights: 

• 5:32 - What does the ‘striving mode’ look like?
• 9:53 - The Pause 
• 12:03 - Reflecting to determine where we learned our norms from
• 19:43 - What’s the impact on our relationships with our partners and children?
• 21:43 - Strategies to help you let go of the overwhelm
• 37:53 - Ways to start to nourish and replenish yourself

Friendships are hard, particularly as adults. Many of us believe that the quality of our life is based on the number of people we can count on as friends. The more friends we have, the better off we are.

So when we go through a friendship breakup, it's hard to understand that it’s not necessarily about the type of person we are, or the kind of life we live, but rather a part of any relationship and personal growth.

To dive deeper into the world of friendships, I had the honour to speak with my good friend, Dr. Miriam Kirmayer. We spoke about: 

• How we relate friendships to success
• How can friendships change?
• What are changes appearing in our friendships through COVID
• How can we support our friendships through change
• How to give you friend feedback
• How to decide when you need to let go of a friendship
• Ways you can choose to end a friendship
• How do you mourn the loss of a friend and why do they hurt so badly?

Want to learn more with us?

Dr. Miriam Kirmayer and I have a special bonus. We were asked what it’s like to build friendships as therapists. So, we had a candid and unscripted conversation around what it’s like to make friends as a professional. 

If you are a professional, a therapist, or curious about friendships, head over to drtracyd.com/friends to download this bonus episode. 

To learn more about Dr. Miriam Kirmayer, visit her website or follow her on Instagram.

There is so much happening in the world today. The events taking place are outside of our control, from COVID19 to the Black Lives Matter Movement.

So that is why today’s podcast brings my favourite colleagues from across North America to share their top way of coping with the challenges so many of us are facing in the world today.

Here is the list of experts sharing on this episode: 

Dr. Rachel Goldman, Clinical Psychologist in New York City, New York, on the importance of daily check-ins. www.DrRachelNYC.com

Dr. Morgan Francis, Clinical Psychologist in Scottsdale, Arizona, on how to cope through the pressure of a whole body transformation after this pandemic. www.scottsdalepremiercounseling.com

Dr. Ann Louise Lockhart, Pediatric Psychologist, parent coach and business owner in San Antonio, Texas on the importance of connection over correction. www.anewdaysa.com

Dr. Betsy Chang, Clinical Psychologist in Newport Beach, California, shares about the power of teamwork in your relationship. www.DrBetsyChung.com

Hatty J Lee, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Los Angeles California, dives into our own trauma responses and what happens when they are triggered. www.oakandstonetherapy.com

Dr. Shawn Horn, Clinical Psychologist, TEDx Speaker and host of the Inspired Living Podcast, shares what toxic shame is and how to work through it. www.drshawnhorn.com

Dr. Morgan Anderson, Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Coach shares one mindset that you, as single women, could find helpful right now. https://www.drmorgancoaching.com/

Dr. Morgan Cutlip, Relationship Expert, Coach and Course Creator on how to shift the guilt of motherhood during this time. http://www.lovethinks.com/

We are in a time of crisis. Moving into the summer, what is one question that you should be asking yourself.

Picture your life as a garden. Everything you can pour your energy into, everything that is important to you is a different plant.

You have a plant for each relationship (your children, your partner, your extended family), for career, friendships, self-care, etc. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine your garden.

When you can see your garden, now picture a watering can filled with water.

That watering can - that’s you.

You get to choose, each day, where you pour your water into. You only have 1 watering can; what will you choose today?

Launching Season 2 of I’m Not Your Shrink Podcast, I share the number one question we all need to be asking ourselves, which I have personally learned in the past year.

Looking for more with me?

Check out my weekly Q&A. Each Friday I answer your questions: https://drtracyd.com/blog

Join my 5-day challenge to help cope with crisis in your relationship: https://sendfox.com/lp/1x7ey3

Come join me on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.tracyd/

Check out my new membership space for women who are looking to strengthen their relationship: https://beconnected.drtracyd.com

Looking to master stress and find balance? Check out my e-course to help you Cultivate Self-Compassion and Awareness: https://cultivating-awareness.teachable.com/p/from-stressed-to-balanced

It's episode 12 and the season finale! In this episode I'm talking about my THREE R's for maximizing your wellness over the summer months. Be sure to get out a piece of paper because I challenge you to set an intention for this season, and I want you to write down one idea under each R! We know that when we write out our goals and intentions we are more likely to achieve them! 

I look forward to touching base with all of you in Season Two! Want to get the latest updates and keep in touch? Sign up for my email list here.

Anxiety. So many of us experience this normal emotion. And yet, anxiety is a common presentation in the therapy office, often times clients saying they want to get rid of it. It has taken over their lives and impacted their ability to cope each day. They have stopped going out to the grocery store. They have stopped seeing friends. They can't complete what they want to do each day because they are stuck in a worries and fears.

Can you get rid of anxiety?

Dr. Julie Groveman, clinical psychologist in NYC who focuses on helping clients break toxic patterns, conquer fear and empower them to be the most confident version of themselves, talks about whether we can get rid of this emotion, and what we can do to manage anxiety.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Dr. Julie’s early experience with anxiety and what this message taught her
• The importance of labelling and noticing this emotion
• Traits about you that contribute to the experience of anxiety
• How our inner critic and self-doubt leads to anxiety
• Common things people do to cope with anxiety that are NOT helpful
• Dr. Julie’s top three tips for coping with anxiety

Today I chat with Melissa Mitri, a Registered Dietitian-Nutritionist, where her practice is focused on helping moms and moms-to-be build a healthy baby and nourish themselves through a practical, whole foods approach.  Melissa has over 10 years of experience in the field of nutrition, and has a true passion for helping women feel confident entering motherhood.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Melissa's journey into motherhood and her struggle with breastfeeding
• Top nutritions that you need to be considering for your postpartum body and for breastfeeding. We only talk about two of the six, so Melissa created this handout so you don't have to make notes! Click HERE to download it.
• Adjusting to motherhood and body image acceptance
• Healthy weight loss after having a baby.

If you are a new mom or soon to be mother, this is a must listen! Melissa shares such key pieces of nutrition that I wish I had known earlier on. If you know a new mom, or soon to be mom, or even if you are going to be a second, third, or fourth time mom, her tips are helpful for managing key nutrients and body health in this stage.

Shame is the notion that one is unworthy, defective, or a failure in some way. As one of the most painful emotions experienced, shame disconnects us from others, leading to feelings of isolation. And we all experience shame! On a regular Tuesday morning, I find myself yelling at my son, and then being washed away in shame. In this episode, I talk all about shame and how it impacts our relationships, the difference between shame and guilt, and give strategies you can use to help you cope with shame. 

Money matters. But women don’t like to talk about it and there are so many emotional barriers to talking about and addressing issues related to money. I chat with financial therapist Lindsay Bryan-Podvin about the challenges women face when it comes to the view of money and their own worth, connecting money to your values, core themes that people get stuck on when it comes to managing money, and how couples can begin to manage their money together.

I sit down with registered physiotherapist, yoga teacher, and mother, Andrea Plitz. We talk about the the fundamentals of pelvic floor health for ALL women and when you need to see a pelvic floor therapist. I ask Andrea to demystify the kegal and teach us how we can access this area in our body. Finally, Andrea gives three different ways that you can connect to your pelvic floor. 

I answer a listener’s question on how to deal with her partner’s defensiveness in their relationship. I first talk about what is defensiveness, and then discuss different strategies for you to use to address and change this tricky response style with our partners! Are you someone that tends to feel defensive? This episode is also for you!

I sit down with Erica from Mom.Break and talk about her experience with postpartum depression and going to therapy. As a psychologist, I could never ask my clients to share in this format. When I met Erica through Instagram and for coffee, I wanted others to hear her story. We talk about the realness of motherhood, the intrusive thoughts and difficulties coping as a parent. Tune in to hear Erica's journey of acknowledging when she needed help and how she told others about going to therapy.

I am talking all about self-care this week - an important aspect of living a meaningful life. I talk about what self-care is not and what gets in the way of you looking after you. I offer specific tips about how you can improve your self-care. Be sure to tune in to the end of the episode - since so many people struggle with the term "self-care," I offer a new perspective on how you can view this pivotal act.

I speak with psychologist Dr. Soph about authenticity, shame, and navigating boundaries in your life. Setting boundaries is one of the top things we talk about with our clients. Tune in to find out more about just what boundaries are, signs you may need to set boundaries, and how you can do this. If you are someone that always says yes, has a hard time saying no, feels overwhelmed by others asking you to do things, and feels stressed by caring for everyone but you, this episode is for you!

There are so many times when fear stops us from doing something that is important – from taking that big risk or making a change. In this episode, I talk about my experience of fear through creating this podcast and how this primary emotion derails us from living a meaningful life. You will learn specific tools that you can use to help face your fear so that this emotion becomes just an emotion and not something that stops you in your life!

Join me, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, psychologist and couples therapist, as I discuss two core themes that I see in therapy every day and why I created this podcast. With over ten years of training and experience in providing therapy, I’m combining what I have learned as a psychologist sitting with people in their hardest moments and my experiences of being a mother and a wife, to help you change the dialogue in your life so you can live a life filled with meaning.