Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
By Tony Santore
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Category: Natural Sciences
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Subscribers: 270
Reviews: 3
Episodes: 191
Dec 12, 2022
Jun 21, 2022
Serpentine Geophyte
Aug 8, 2019
The finest foul-languaged, philosophical, misanthropic, punk rock botanical meditation in human history.
Description
A show about plants as viewed through the lens of evolution and ecology with a side of deranged ranting, crass humor, occasional profanity, & the perpetual search for the filthiest taqueria bathroom.
Plant ecology, systematics, taxonomy, floral chemistry, biogeography and more.
Joey Santore was a degenerate railroader for 15 years during which he taught himself Botany by reading textbooks and research papers in the cab of the locomotive while stealing time from work. He has traveled to 11 different countries studying plant communities. He is the host of the YouTube channel Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't and the host of the show Kill Your Lawn on EarthX TV.
Plant ecology, systematics, taxonomy, floral chemistry, biogeography and more.
Joey Santore was a degenerate railroader for 15 years during which he taught himself Botany by reading textbooks and research papers in the cab of the locomotive while stealing time from work. He has traveled to 11 different countries studying plant communities. He is the host of the YouTube channel Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't and the host of the show Kill Your Lawn on EarthX TV.
| Episode | Date |
|---|---|
|
The Other 99% of Life on Planet Earth : Couch Microscopy with Dr. Julia van Etten
|
Apr 23, 2024 |
|
Western Railroading, Sobriety, & Male Archetypes
|
Apr 23, 2024 |
|
Diatomaceous Earth, Horse Cripplers & Leaf Blowers
|
Apr 20, 2024 |
|
Hunter Martinez aka Cactus Quest
|
Apr 13, 2024 |
|
Riding Trains in Mexico, Contagious Native Plant Gardens,etc
|
Mar 30, 2024 |
|
Instagram Drug Bros & Cactus Poaching
|
Mar 22, 2024 |
|
Desert Ferns with Dr. Michael Windham
|
Mar 12, 2024 |
|
An Undescribed Psilocybin sp. in the Desert
|
Mar 12, 2024 |
|
Fighting Invasive Buffelgrass in Arizona & Restoring Desert Ecosytems
|
Mar 04, 2024 |
|
The Closing of Duke Herbarium
|
Mar 01, 2024 |
|
Baja Buckwheats, Railroad Stories & Prosopidastrum
|
Feb 27, 2024 |
|
Annotated, Profanity-laden Dichotomous Keys & the Fungal Ecology of Baja Chaparral
|
Feb 24, 2024 |
|
Javelina Mngmnt, Restoration, & Peyote Vultures
|
Feb 08, 2024 |
|
Limestone Desert Ferns, Montezuma Cypress on the Border
|
Feb 01, 2024 |
|
Watering Before a Freeze, Goliad Gravels
|
Jan 14, 2024 |
|
Tucson Again, Agaves, Freezing in NM
|
Jan 06, 2024 |
|
The Flower That Looks Like a Bird (especially if you're high) & other rants
|
Dec 20, 2023 |
|
How Do Chollas Bang
|
Dec 14, 2023 |
|
Plant Anatomy with Jim Mauseth
|
Dec 12, 2023 |
|
Going to Jail for Botany
|
Dec 05, 2023 |
|
A Conversation About Peyote with Leo Mercado
|
Nov 26, 2023 |
|
Dallas Plant Rescue & West Texas Dunes
|
Nov 22, 2023 |
|
Nuevo León & Tamaulipas Cactus Blitz
|
Nov 16, 2023 |
|
Poison Ivy Doesn't Wanna Hurt You
|
Nov 15, 2023 |
|
The Conspiracy to Drain The Great Salt Lake
|
Nov 13, 2023 |
|
A Conversation with Doug Tallamy
|
Nov 06, 2023 |
|
Make Your Own Soil & KILL YOUR LAWN
|
Oct 30, 2023 |
|
DC Botany, Ghost Plant Seeds, Invasion Bio, etc
|
Oct 26, 2023 |
|
Kill Your Lawn Recap
|
Oct 22, 2023 |
|
Native Bee Ecology with Sam Droege
|
Oct 18, 2023 |
|
KILL YOUR LAWN... & MAKE IT THE LAW.
|
Oct 16, 2023 |
|
Ethnobotany & Plants You've Never Heard of w/ Anthony Basil Rodriguez
|
Oct 09, 2023 |
|
Butterflies and Border Walls
|
Oct 07, 2023 |
|
Cornell Herbarium, Brooklyn Cactus, VA Buckwheat
|
Sep 29, 2023 |
|
Floral Scents & Pollination Systems w/ Dr. Rob Rugoso, Cornell University
|
Sep 27, 2023 |
|
Prairie Rants & the Herbaceous Perennial Habit
|
Sep 16, 2023 |
|
Setting Fire to Suburbia w/ Gerould Wilhelm
|
Sep 13, 2023 |
|
Paleobotany with Fabiany Herrera
|
Sep 06, 2023 |
|
CHICAGO CONFLICT & GLACIAL TILL SUMMER BASH
|
Sep 04, 2023 |
|
How Ancient Glaciers Affect Peyote - a Conversation with Keeper Trout from Cactus Conservation Institute
|
Aug 24, 2023 |
|
Philippines Botany, East Texas Yucca Pollination, etc w/Adam Black
|
Aug 19, 2023 |
|
Fighting with City Hall, Star Cactus Mortality, et
|
Aug 17, 2023 |
|
New Age Massage Parlors, Philosophical Coping, etc
|
Aug 13, 2023 |
|
A Conversation About Cactus Poaching with Jared Margulies
|
Aug 11, 2023 |
|
Catching up with Kyle Lybarger of The Native Habitat Project
|
Jul 22, 2023 |
|
A Conversation About Tabernanthe iboga
|
Jul 20, 2023 |
|
Brazil Atlantic Forest & Cerrado Vegetation Rants
|
Jul 12, 2023 |
|
Geologic German Chocolate Summer Bash & Basalt Flows with Nick Zentner
|
Jun 23, 2023 |
|
Some Notable Remarks On New Zealand's Flora
|
Jun 21, 2023 |
|
A Conversation About New Zealand Fungi
|
Jun 19, 2023 |
|
Heteroblasty Anonymous - A Conversation About New Zealand Plants
|
Jun 13, 2023 |
|
The Future of Peyote Conservation in South Texas
|
May 26, 2023 |
|
Chonkosaurus & Chicago River Botanical Survey
|
May 14, 2023 |
|
90 minutes of Aroids with Tom Croat
|
Apr 27, 2023 |
|
Kill Your Lawn Release, Sweat Ceremony, Chicago Museum Scam, etc
|
Apr 26, 2023 |
|
Talking Florida Panhandle Plants in a Longleaf Pine Forest
|
Apr 18, 2023 |
|
A Conversation with Margaret Behan
|
Apr 05, 2023 |
|
Paintbrush & The Genus Castilleja w/ Mark Egger
|
Mar 31, 2023 |
|
Living Soil Crusts With Corey Nelson
|
Mar 23, 2023 |
|
Relict Oaks, Sky Islands, Austin Texas Botany & Texas Madrones
|
Mar 16, 2023 |
|
F*CKING CANCELLED w/ Jay LeSoleil
|
Mar 09, 2023 |
|
Gesneriads with Dr. John Clark
|
Mar 06, 2023 |
|
What the @&#! is Going On With North American Railroads
|
Feb 24, 2023 |
|
Ricardo Ramirez aka Lizardskinn
|
Feb 22, 2023 |
|
Kill Your Lawn rehash
|
Feb 20, 2023 |
|
A Conversation with Printmaker & Artist Roger Peet
|
Feb 11, 2023 |
|
Peyote Ceremony & Esenbeckia
|
Feb 06, 2023 |
|
2 Hour Plant Biology/Ecology Crash Course w/ Scott Zona
|
Jan 22, 2023 |
|
South Florida Monologues
|
Jan 19, 2023 |
|
South Florida Native Plants w/Lillium Byrd
|
Jan 12, 2023 |
|
Pyracantha Death, Obscene Birders, Western Interior Seaway
|
Jan 03, 2023 |
|
Tasmania Rants
|
Dec 22, 2022 |
|
Talking Tasmania w/Matt Berger
|
Dec 17, 2022 |
|
Miguel de Salas & Tasmanian Botany
|
Dec 04, 2022 |
|
A Conversation About Mycology, Psilocybe Diversity , & Citizen Science with Alan Rockefeller
|
Nov 28, 2022 |
|
Cultivating Peyote as a Means of Ex-Situ Conservation : A Conversation with the "Peyote Lorax"
|
Nov 18, 2022 |
|
A 3 Hour Conversation with Hamilton Morris
|
Nov 15, 2022 |
|
BLACK FORAGER
|
Nov 09, 2022 |
|
Peyote Gardens & Killer Bees
|
Nov 04, 2022 |
|
West Texas October
|
Oct 28, 2022 |
|
Southern California Landscaping Nightmare, Cholla As a Weapon, Borderwall Botany, etc
|
Oct 19, 2022 |
|
New York City
|
Oct 05, 2022 |
|
Bromeliads to Blow Your Mind
|
Sep 18, 2022 |
|
Cactus Evolution, Carribean Cactus Forests, & Tree Prickly Pears
|
Sep 14, 2022 |
|
Cactus Forests of Puebla, Cloud Forests of Oaxaca
|
Sep 07, 2022 |
|
Oaxaca Cloud Forests/The Entheome Project Part 2
|
Sep 06, 2022 |
|
Genome Sequencing Magic Mushrooms, Democratizing Science, Oaxaca Cloud Forests
|
Sep 05, 2022 |
|
Aug 25th Rants about Mexico, Botany News, Rain "Lilies", Dosing the RNC, etc
|
Aug 25, 2022 |
|
A Conversation with Kyle Lybarger from The Native Habitat Project
|
Aug 16, 2022 |
|
Restoring the American Chestnut
|
Aug 12, 2022 |
|
Da Sticky Plant Episode Nice & Pleistocene Ground Sloth Turds
|
Aug 07, 2022 |
|
Fake Name at the ER, KILL YOUR LAWN, Installing Native Plant Gardens, etc
|
Aug 06, 2022 |
|
The Long Lost Candelaria, Solar Farm Apocalypse, Peyote Country
|
Jul 15, 2022 |
|
Desert Plants & West Texas Horticulture with Patti Manning
|
Jul 06, 2022 |
|
The Velcro Leaf Family, Fake Names at the ER, Christian Taliban, etc
|
Jun 27, 2022 |
|
Talking Peyote & Conservation in South Texas
|
Jun 15, 2022 |
|
Talking Evolution, Cloud Forests & Nightshades
|
Jun 01, 2022 |
|
An Interview with Carlos ”Aztekium” Velazco
|
May 25, 2022 |
|
Namibia, Resurrection Plants, Welwitschia, Caucasians in South Africa
|
May 19, 2022 |
|
Nuevo León Botany, Gypsum Endemics, Cactus Poaching
|
Apr 20, 2022 |
|
A Conversation with Kerry Knudsen, Lichenologist
|
Apr 06, 2022 |
|
Texas Sandsheet, Sand Endemics,Twitter Fights with Furries
|
Apr 05, 2022 |
|
Undescribed Buckwheats, KILL YOUR LAWN, Limestone Erotica, Rod Blagojevich, etc
|
Mar 14, 2022 |
|
How Do Fungi Bang (and evolve)?
|
Feb 19, 2022 |
|
Lichens Are Weirder Than Helll
|
Feb 02, 2022 |
|
Rants About Peyote Conservation, Cryptogamic Crusts, Perithecium
|
Jan 29, 2022 |
|
Legume Phylogeny Dungeon
|
Jan 20, 2022 |
|
Mycoheterotrophy, Resurrection Plants, Orchid Biogeography
|
Dec 25, 2021 |
|
Orchid Crash Course - Phylogeny, Taxonomy, Morphology & what the sh1t
|
Dec 21, 2021 |
|
Elusive Milkweeds of South Texas
|
Dec 09, 2021 |
|
Psychedelic Therapy and Its Practical Applications for Society
|
Dec 04, 2021 |
|
What the sh*t is mRNA & how‘d it get into my nanoparticles
|
Nov 27, 2021 |
|
A Conversation about the Wild Sh1t going on in South African ”Daisies”
|
Nov 08, 2021 |
|
A Conversation With The Naked Botanist
|
Nov 03, 2021 |
|
A Conversation Having Nothing To Do With Plants
|
Oct 27, 2021 |
|
South Africa Follow Up, Rantings, Etc.
|
Oct 08, 2021 |
|
2 hours of South Africa Ranting
|
Sep 26, 2021 |
|
Monocot Taxonomic Clusterf*ck
|
Sep 02, 2021 |
|
Deconstructing Taxonomy
|
Aug 18, 2021 |
|
Intro to the Rise of Flowering Plants
|
Jul 31, 2021 |
|
Wyoming Rare Plants with Walt Fertig
|
Jul 18, 2021 |
|
Yellowstone Botany & Wyoming Rare Plants
|
Jul 13, 2021 |
|
Hiking Through The Great Basin w/ Matt Berger
|
Jul 05, 2021 |
|
Buckwheats and Bail Bonds
|
Jun 30, 2021 |
|
The Nitty Gritty of DNA sequencing to understand Plant Evolution
|
Jun 22, 2021 |
|
20 Minutes of Rambling and 60 Minutes of Melastomataceae
|
Jun 11, 2021 |
|
Arrests at the Buckwheat Conference, Chicago West Side Heroin Dissuasion, Lithium Sleazebag Deli Platters
|
Jun 01, 2021 |
|
Milkweeds that Dupe Insects, Greenhouse Conservation, Customer Service Hell
|
May 20, 2021 |
|
The Evolution & Ecology of Psilocybin
|
May 05, 2021 |
|
Back Inna Bay,Volcanic Carrots of Oregon, A conversation with Damon Tighe
|
Apr 22, 2021 |
|
Baker Cypress, Research Natural Areas, & A Conversation with Julie Kierstead
|
Apr 09, 2021 |
|
Two Hours with Peter Raven
|
Mar 28, 2021 |
|
Hidden Agave - A Conversation with Jeremy Spath
|
Mar 21, 2021 |
|
West Texas Cacti, Desert Brassicas, AL Scorch, Pollinator Apocalypse
|
Mar 19, 2021 |
|
Texas Blackout, Cloud Forest Blueberries, Tropical Mistletoes
|
Feb 25, 2021 |
|
Baby I Wanna Be Your Karstic Dog
|
Feb 09, 2021 |
|
Mycorrhizae, Ericoid Roots, Orchids, Meathead Psychology, etc
|
Jan 25, 2021 |
|
PLANT SYSTEMATICS with Michael Simpson
|
Jan 20, 2021 |
|
Geologist Robert Madden
|
Jan 14, 2021 |
|
Evolution, Speciation and Child Labor
|
Jan 11, 2021 |
|
Talking Railroads & Mexico with Linda Niemann
|
Dec 22, 2020 |
|
Blazing East to South Texas
|
Dec 19, 2020 |
|
Interview w/climatologist Daniel Swain
|
Dec 10, 2020 |
|
California Dystopia, Butano Cypress, Seed-Collection, Edibles & Trash Tvetc
|
Dec 08, 2020 |
|
Underground Orchids, Australian Botany, Proteaceae Floral Morphology
|
Nov 26, 2020 |
|
Texas Flora - A Conversation w/Michael Eason
|
Nov 22, 2020 |
|
Rhyolite, Fuckface!
|
Nov 16, 2020 |
|
South Texas Soliloquy, Cactus Rescue, Tough Broads, etc
|
Oct 30, 2020 |
|
160 minutes of Sunflowers w/ Bruce Baldwin
|
Oct 22, 2020 |
|
An Interview with Tom Givnish
|
Oct 14, 2020 |
|
East Texas Sandy Coastal Plain & Ft Worth Dry Prairies
|
Oct 13, 2020 |
|
Michigan Upper Peninsula Geology, Missouri Prairie, Texas Limestone Remnants
|
Sep 29, 2020 |
|
I-80 Cross Country Botany, Maskless Rednecks, Ambrosia Exploration
|
Sep 04, 2020 |
|
Illegal Garden Meets a Karen, Random Rants, Monarch Migration, etc
|
Aug 20, 2020 |
|
Botanist Michael Dillon & South American Nightshades
|
Aug 02, 2020 |
|
A ConversationAbout Mycology with Christian Schwarz
|
Jul 30, 2020 |
|
Darlingtonia, Flu Klux Klan, Illegal Gardening
|
Jul 18, 2020 |
|
Coral Pink Sand Dunes Milkweed, Southern Utah Botany, Vertic Limestones, Shitting in Kyle's Firepit
|
Jun 23, 2020 |
|
Phantom Orchids & Sneaking to the Botanic Garden
|
Jun 12, 2020 |
|
Propagation as a Means of Refraining From Homicide
|
May 17, 2020 |
|
A Conversation with Matt Candeais
|
May 01, 2020 |
|
"I Was a Teenage Eco-Fascist"
|
Apr 17, 2020 |
|
Pandemic Southwest Botany
|
Apr 01, 2020 |
|
A Conversation with Matt Ritter
|
Mar 11, 2020 |
|
Coronavirus & Sunflowers
|
Mar 07, 2020 |
|
Coronavirus & Sunflowers
|
Mar 07, 2020 |
|
Parasitic conifers & Amborella(New Caledonia 2)
|
Feb 13, 2020 |
|
New Caledonia, Disjointed Ranting, Conifer Dungeons, Biogeography of Southern Hemisphere Lineages, Mosquitoes
|
Feb 02, 2020 |
|
Plant Breeding, Fern Sex, Dark Humor, South Africa, A Conversation with Martin Grantham
|
Jan 02, 2020 |
|
Chilean Fog Deserts, Biogeographical Islands, Nolana Diversity, Candy Diets
|
Dec 25, 2019 |
|
Botanizing Deserts on Foot with Sheriff Woody
|
Nov 30, 2019 |
|
Mushrooms Mushrooms Mushrooms
|
Nov 22, 2019 |
|
Short Run/Podcast in a Can
|
Nov 15, 2019 |
|
Biogeography & Death of a Milkweed
|
Nov 03, 2019 |
|
Southwest Australian Flora cameo by Foot Rot.m4a
|
Oct 17, 2019 |
|
Climate Deniers, Rio Grande Milkweeds and Cartel Biospheres
|
Oct 02, 2019 |
|
Gypsophiles, Rare Sumacs, Societal Jabs, Arguing with morons, etc
|
Sep 10, 2019 |
|
Rock Daisies, Peyote, Sky Islands and Taqueria Palenque
|
Aug 25, 2019 |
|
Southside Chicago & Sonora, Mexico
|
Aug 07, 2019 |
|
Extinct Redwood Forests and Sensitivity Training for Rude Geologists
|
Jul 19, 2019 |
|
Redwood Lilies & Midwest Botany
|
Jun 30, 2019 |
|
More Milkweed Dungeons in Nevada and Utah
|
Jun 20, 2019 |
|
One Long Disjointed Rant b/w Milkweeds and Sclerocactus
|
Jun 03, 2019 |
|
Convergent Evolution, Carnivory, and the Milkweed from Serpentine Barrens
|
May 28, 2019 |
|
Death Valley Limestone, Invasive Species, Herbal Enemas
|
May 17, 2019 |
|
Assaulted by Stinkbells and Obsessed with Monkey Flowers
|
Apr 19, 2019 |
|
Rare Manzanitas & The Best Taqueria in the Salinas Valley
|
Apr 03, 2019 |
|
"Superblooms" are relicts & understanding Invasive Species
|
Mar 29, 2019 |
|
Mojave Snow, Laterites, Salvia funerea
|
Feb 25, 2019 |
|
Neonicotinoids, Molecular Phylogeny, Relict Populations
|
Feb 14, 2019 |
|
Kick Me Inna Asteraceae
|
Feb 10, 2019 |