Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't

By Tony Santore

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Category: Natural Sciences

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Subscribers: 279
Reviews: 3
Episodes: 202


 Dec 12, 2022


 Jun 21, 2022

Serpentine Geophyte
 Aug 8, 2019
The finest foul-languaged, philosophical, misanthropic, punk rock botanical meditation in human history.

Description

A show about plants as viewed through the lens of evolution and ecology with a side of deranged ranting, crass humor, occasional profanity, & the perpetual search for the filthiest taqueria bathroom.

Plant ecology, systematics, taxonomy, floral chemistry, biogeography and more.

Joey Santore was a degenerate railroader for 15 years during which he taught himself Botany by reading textbooks and research papers in the cab of the locomotive while stealing time from work. He has traveled to 11 different countries studying plant communities. He is the host of the YouTube channel Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't and the host of the show Kill Your Lawn on EarthX TV.

Episode Date
Mycology Catch-Up w/ Alan Rockefeller
Jul 07, 2024
Dr. Daniela Zappi - Brazilian Plant Ecology
Jul 03, 2024
Zoe Schlanger, Author of The Light Eaters
Jun 27, 2024
Texas Botany with Michael Eason
Jun 24, 2024
Andrew "The Arborist" Conboy
Jun 18, 2024
Guanajuato, Mexico Recap Part 2 - Floristic Affinities & Biogeography
Jun 13, 2024
Central Mexico Recap & Habitat Summary
Jun 11, 2024
Pollination Systems & Bird Pollination with Jeff Ollerton
May 28, 2024
Rio Grande Valley Botany with Ernest Herrera
May 25, 2024
Central Texas Orchids, Limestone sinkholes, New Aster species
May 22, 2024
Death Valley Botany with Matt Berger
Apr 30, 2024
The Other 99% of Life on Planet Earth : Couch Microscopy with Dr. Julia van Etten
Apr 23, 2024
Western Railroading, Sobriety, & Male Archetypes
Apr 23, 2024
Diatomaceous Earth, Horse Cripplers & Leaf Blowers
Apr 20, 2024
Hunter Martinez aka Cactus Quest
Apr 13, 2024
Riding Trains in Mexico, Contagious Native Plant Gardens,etc
Mar 30, 2024
Instagram Drug Bros & Cactus Poaching
Mar 22, 2024
Desert Ferns with Dr. Michael Windham
Mar 12, 2024
An Undescribed Psilocybin sp. in the Desert
Mar 12, 2024
Fighting Invasive Buffelgrass in Arizona & Restoring Desert Ecosytems
Mar 04, 2024
The Closing of Duke Herbarium
Mar 01, 2024
Baja Buckwheats, Railroad Stories & Prosopidastrum
Feb 27, 2024
Annotated, Profanity-laden Dichotomous Keys & the Fungal Ecology of Baja Chaparral
Feb 24, 2024
Javelina Mngmnt, Restoration, & Peyote Vultures
Feb 08, 2024
Limestone Desert Ferns, Montezuma Cypress on the Border
Feb 01, 2024
Watering Before a Freeze, Goliad Gravels
Jan 14, 2024
Tucson Again, Agaves, Freezing in NM
Jan 06, 2024
The Flower That Looks Like a Bird (especially if you're high) & other rants
Dec 20, 2023
How Do Chollas Bang
Dec 14, 2023
Plant Anatomy with Jim Mauseth
Dec 12, 2023
Going to Jail for Botany
Dec 05, 2023
A Conversation About Peyote with Leo Mercado
Nov 26, 2023
Dallas Plant Rescue & West Texas Dunes
Nov 22, 2023
Nuevo León & Tamaulipas Cactus Blitz
Nov 16, 2023
Poison Ivy Doesn't Wanna Hurt You
Nov 15, 2023
The Conspiracy to Drain The Great Salt Lake
Nov 13, 2023
A Conversation with Doug Tallamy
Nov 06, 2023
Make Your Own Soil & KILL YOUR LAWN
Oct 30, 2023
DC Botany, Ghost Plant Seeds, Invasion Bio, etc
Oct 26, 2023
Kill Your Lawn Recap
Oct 22, 2023
Native Bee Ecology with Sam Droege
Oct 18, 2023
KILL YOUR LAWN... & MAKE IT THE LAW.
Oct 16, 2023
Ethnobotany & Plants You've Never Heard of w/ Anthony Basil Rodriguez
Oct 09, 2023
Butterflies and Border Walls
Oct 07, 2023
Cornell Herbarium, Brooklyn Cactus, VA Buckwheat
Sep 29, 2023
Floral Scents & Pollination Systems w/ Dr. Rob Rugoso, Cornell University
Sep 27, 2023
Prairie Rants & the Herbaceous Perennial Habit
Sep 16, 2023
Setting Fire to Suburbia w/ Gerould Wilhelm
Sep 13, 2023
Paleobotany with Fabiany Herrera
Sep 06, 2023
CHICAGO CONFLICT & GLACIAL TILL SUMMER BASH
Sep 04, 2023
How Ancient Glaciers Affect Peyote - a Conversation with Keeper Trout from Cactus Conservation Institute
Aug 24, 2023
Philippines Botany, East Texas Yucca Pollination, etc w/Adam Black
Aug 19, 2023
Fighting with City Hall, Star Cactus Mortality, et
Aug 17, 2023
New Age Massage Parlors, Philosophical Coping, etc
Aug 13, 2023
A Conversation About Cactus Poaching with Jared Margulies
Aug 11, 2023
Catching up with Kyle Lybarger of The Native Habitat Project
Jul 22, 2023
A Conversation About Tabernanthe iboga
Jul 20, 2023
Brazil Atlantic Forest & Cerrado Vegetation Rants
Jul 12, 2023
Geologic German Chocolate Summer Bash & Basalt Flows with Nick Zentner
Jun 23, 2023
Some Notable Remarks On New Zealand's Flora
Jun 21, 2023
A Conversation About New Zealand Fungi
Jun 19, 2023
Heteroblasty Anonymous - A Conversation About New Zealand Plants
Jun 13, 2023
The Future of Peyote Conservation in South Texas
May 26, 2023
Chonkosaurus & Chicago River Botanical Survey
May 14, 2023
90 minutes of Aroids with Tom Croat
Apr 27, 2023
Kill Your Lawn Release, Sweat Ceremony, Chicago Museum Scam, etc
Apr 26, 2023
Talking Florida Panhandle Plants in a Longleaf Pine Forest
Apr 18, 2023
A Conversation with Margaret Behan
Apr 05, 2023
Paintbrush & The Genus Castilleja w/ Mark Egger
Mar 31, 2023
Living Soil Crusts With Corey Nelson
Mar 23, 2023
Relict Oaks, Sky Islands, Austin Texas Botany & Texas Madrones
Mar 16, 2023
F*CKING CANCELLED w/ Jay LeSoleil
Mar 09, 2023
Gesneriads with Dr. John Clark
Mar 06, 2023
What the @&#! is Going On With North American Railroads
Feb 24, 2023
Ricardo Ramirez aka Lizardskinn
Feb 22, 2023
Kill Your Lawn rehash
Feb 20, 2023
A Conversation with Printmaker & Artist Roger Peet
Feb 11, 2023
Peyote Ceremony & Esenbeckia
Feb 06, 2023
2 Hour Plant Biology/Ecology Crash Course w/ Scott Zona
Jan 22, 2023
South Florida Monologues
Jan 19, 2023
South Florida Native Plants w/Lillium Byrd
Jan 12, 2023
Pyracantha Death, Obscene Birders, Western Interior Seaway
Jan 03, 2023
Tasmania Rants
Dec 22, 2022
Talking Tasmania w/Matt Berger
Dec 17, 2022
Miguel de Salas & Tasmanian Botany
Dec 04, 2022
A Conversation About Mycology, Psilocybe Diversity , & Citizen Science with Alan Rockefeller
Nov 28, 2022
Cultivating Peyote as a Means of Ex-Situ Conservation : A Conversation with the "Peyote Lorax"
Nov 18, 2022
A 3 Hour Conversation with Hamilton Morris
Nov 15, 2022
BLACK FORAGER
Nov 09, 2022
Peyote Gardens & Killer Bees
Nov 04, 2022
West Texas October
Oct 28, 2022
Southern California Landscaping Nightmare, Cholla As a Weapon, Borderwall Botany, etc
Oct 19, 2022
New York City
Oct 05, 2022
Bromeliads to Blow Your Mind
Sep 18, 2022
Cactus Evolution, Carribean Cactus Forests, & Tree Prickly Pears
Sep 14, 2022
Cactus Forests of Puebla, Cloud Forests of Oaxaca
Sep 07, 2022
Oaxaca Cloud Forests/The Entheome Project Part 2
Sep 06, 2022
Genome Sequencing Magic Mushrooms, Democratizing Science, Oaxaca Cloud Forests
Sep 05, 2022
Aug 25th Rants about Mexico, Botany News, Rain "Lilies", Dosing the RNC, etc
Aug 25, 2022
A Conversation with Kyle Lybarger from The Native Habitat Project
Aug 16, 2022
Restoring the American Chestnut
Aug 12, 2022
Da Sticky Plant Episode Nice & Pleistocene Ground Sloth Turds
Aug 07, 2022
Fake Name at the ER, KILL YOUR LAWN, Installing Native Plant Gardens, etc
Aug 06, 2022
The Long Lost Candelaria, Solar Farm Apocalypse, Peyote Country
Jul 15, 2022
Desert Plants & West Texas Horticulture with Patti Manning
Jul 06, 2022
The Velcro Leaf Family, Fake Names at the ER, Christian Taliban, etc
Jun 27, 2022
Talking Peyote & Conservation in South Texas
Jun 15, 2022
Talking Evolution, Cloud Forests & Nightshades
Jun 01, 2022
An Interview with Carlos ”Aztekium” Velazco
May 25, 2022
Namibia, Resurrection Plants, Welwitschia, Caucasians in South Africa
May 19, 2022
Nuevo León Botany, Gypsum Endemics, Cactus Poaching
Apr 20, 2022
A Conversation with Kerry Knudsen, Lichenologist
Apr 06, 2022
Texas Sandsheet, Sand Endemics,Twitter Fights with Furries
Apr 05, 2022
Undescribed Buckwheats, KILL YOUR LAWN, Limestone Erotica, Rod Blagojevich, etc
Mar 14, 2022
How Do Fungi Bang (and evolve)?
Feb 19, 2022
Lichens Are Weirder Than Helll
Feb 02, 2022
Rants About Peyote Conservation, Cryptogamic Crusts, Perithecium
Jan 29, 2022
Legume Phylogeny Dungeon
Jan 20, 2022
Mycoheterotrophy, Resurrection Plants, Orchid Biogeography
Dec 25, 2021
Orchid Crash Course - Phylogeny, Taxonomy, Morphology & what the sh1t
Dec 21, 2021
Elusive Milkweeds of South Texas
Dec 09, 2021
Psychedelic Therapy and Its Practical Applications for Society
Dec 04, 2021
What the sh*t is mRNA & how‘d it get into my nanoparticles
Nov 27, 2021
A Conversation about the Wild Sh1t going on in South African ”Daisies”
Nov 08, 2021
A Conversation With The Naked Botanist
Nov 03, 2021
A Conversation Having Nothing To Do With Plants
Oct 27, 2021
South Africa Follow Up, Rantings, Etc.
Oct 08, 2021
2 hours of South Africa Ranting
Sep 26, 2021
Monocot Taxonomic Clusterf*ck
Sep 02, 2021
Deconstructing Taxonomy
Aug 18, 2021
Intro to the Rise of Flowering Plants
Jul 31, 2021
Wyoming Rare Plants with Walt Fertig
Jul 18, 2021
Yellowstone Botany & Wyoming Rare Plants
Jul 13, 2021
Hiking Through The Great Basin w/ Matt Berger
Jul 05, 2021
Buckwheats and Bail Bonds
Jun 30, 2021
The Nitty Gritty of DNA sequencing to understand Plant Evolution
Jun 22, 2021
20 Minutes of Rambling and 60 Minutes of Melastomataceae
Jun 11, 2021
Arrests at the Buckwheat Conference, Chicago West Side Heroin Dissuasion, Lithium Sleazebag Deli Platters
Jun 01, 2021
Milkweeds that Dupe Insects, Greenhouse Conservation, Customer Service Hell
May 20, 2021
The Evolution & Ecology of Psilocybin
May 05, 2021
Back Inna Bay,Volcanic Carrots of Oregon, A conversation with Damon Tighe
Apr 22, 2021
Baker Cypress, Research Natural Areas, & A Conversation with Julie Kierstead
Apr 09, 2021
Two Hours with Peter Raven
Mar 28, 2021
Hidden Agave - A Conversation with Jeremy Spath
Mar 21, 2021
West Texas Cacti, Desert Brassicas, AL Scorch, Pollinator Apocalypse
Mar 19, 2021
Texas Blackout, Cloud Forest Blueberries, Tropical Mistletoes
Feb 25, 2021
Baby I Wanna Be Your Karstic Dog
Feb 09, 2021
Mycorrhizae, Ericoid Roots, Orchids, Meathead Psychology, etc
Jan 25, 2021
PLANT SYSTEMATICS with Michael Simpson
Jan 20, 2021
Geologist Robert Madden
Jan 14, 2021
Evolution, Speciation and Child Labor
Jan 11, 2021
Talking Railroads & Mexico with Linda Niemann
Dec 22, 2020
Blazing East to South Texas
Dec 19, 2020
Interview w/climatologist Daniel Swain
Dec 10, 2020
California Dystopia, Butano Cypress, Seed-Collection, Edibles & Trash Tvetc
Dec 08, 2020
Underground Orchids, Australian Botany, Proteaceae Floral Morphology
Nov 26, 2020
Texas Flora - A Conversation w/Michael Eason
Nov 22, 2020
Rhyolite, Fuckface!
Nov 16, 2020
South Texas Soliloquy, Cactus Rescue, Tough Broads, etc
Oct 30, 2020
160 minutes of Sunflowers w/ Bruce Baldwin
Oct 22, 2020
An Interview with Tom Givnish
Oct 14, 2020
East Texas Sandy Coastal Plain & Ft Worth Dry Prairies
Oct 13, 2020
Michigan Upper Peninsula Geology, Missouri Prairie, Texas Limestone Remnants
Sep 29, 2020
I-80 Cross Country Botany, Maskless Rednecks, Ambrosia Exploration
Sep 04, 2020
Illegal Garden Meets a Karen, Random Rants, Monarch Migration, etc
Aug 20, 2020
Botanist Michael Dillon & South American Nightshades
Aug 02, 2020
A ConversationAbout Mycology with Christian Schwarz
Jul 30, 2020
Darlingtonia, Flu Klux Klan, Illegal Gardening
Jul 18, 2020
Coral Pink Sand Dunes Milkweed, Southern Utah Botany, Vertic Limestones, Shitting in Kyle's Firepit
Jun 23, 2020
Phantom Orchids & Sneaking to the Botanic Garden
Jun 12, 2020
Propagation as a Means of Refraining From Homicide
May 17, 2020
A Conversation with Matt Candeais
May 01, 2020
"I Was a Teenage Eco-Fascist"
Apr 17, 2020
Pandemic Southwest Botany
Apr 01, 2020
A Conversation with Matt Ritter
Mar 11, 2020
Coronavirus & Sunflowers
Mar 07, 2020
Coronavirus & Sunflowers
Mar 07, 2020
Parasitic conifers & Amborella(New Caledonia 2)
Feb 13, 2020
New Caledonia, Disjointed Ranting, Conifer Dungeons, Biogeography of Southern Hemisphere Lineages, Mosquitoes
Feb 02, 2020
Plant Breeding, Fern Sex, Dark Humor, South Africa, A Conversation with Martin Grantham
Jan 02, 2020
Chilean Fog Deserts, Biogeographical Islands, Nolana Diversity, Candy Diets
Dec 25, 2019
Botanizing Deserts on Foot with Sheriff Woody
Nov 30, 2019
Mushrooms Mushrooms Mushrooms
Nov 22, 2019
Short Run/Podcast in a Can
Nov 15, 2019
Biogeography & Death of a Milkweed
Nov 03, 2019
Southwest Australian Flora cameo by Foot Rot.m4a
Oct 17, 2019
Climate Deniers, Rio Grande Milkweeds and Cartel Biospheres
Oct 02, 2019
Gypsophiles, Rare Sumacs, Societal Jabs, Arguing with morons, etc
Sep 10, 2019
Rock Daisies, Peyote, Sky Islands and Taqueria Palenque
Aug 25, 2019
Southside Chicago & Sonora, Mexico
Aug 07, 2019
Extinct Redwood Forests and Sensitivity Training for Rude Geologists
Jul 19, 2019
Redwood Lilies & Midwest Botany
Jun 30, 2019
More Milkweed Dungeons in Nevada and Utah
Jun 20, 2019
One Long Disjointed Rant b/w Milkweeds and Sclerocactus
Jun 03, 2019
Convergent Evolution, Carnivory, and the Milkweed from Serpentine Barrens
May 28, 2019
Death Valley Limestone, Invasive Species, Herbal Enemas
May 17, 2019
Assaulted by Stinkbells and Obsessed with Monkey Flowers
Apr 19, 2019
Rare Manzanitas & The Best Taqueria in the Salinas Valley
Apr 03, 2019
"Superblooms" are relicts & understanding Invasive Species
Mar 29, 2019
Mojave Snow, Laterites, Salvia funerea
Feb 25, 2019
Neonicotinoids, Molecular Phylogeny, Relict Populations
Feb 14, 2019
Kick Me Inna Asteraceae
Feb 10, 2019