Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

By Steve Moore & Mark Kastleman

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Category: Sexuality

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Subscribers: 24
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Episodes: 224

Description

Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class mental health professionals who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'll help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addict—we KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage! We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast. 


Episode Date
Can Porn/Sex Addicts be Habitual Liars—even about Small Stuff—and How Can They Stop?
Apr 23, 2024
Should We Consider a “Sex Fast”? And IF so, HOW do we NOT become “Disconnected” in the Process?
Apr 16, 2024
Now that my Sex/Porn Addiction is Out in the Open, my Betrayed Partner is Lashing Out! How do we Navigate this?!
Apr 09, 2024
Both Partners Have a Porn Addiction History. One is Pursuing Real Recovery and the other Refuses to do so; Now What?
Apr 02, 2024
How Can "Love" and "Attraction" Evolve Through Disclosure and the Recovery/Healing Process?
Mar 26, 2024
How Can my Family & Friends Support Me & My Partner in Recovery? How Much Should We Share & with Whom?
Mar 19, 2024
I Have Habitually, Continually Lied to My Partner! Is There Any Hope for Me and Us?
Mar 12, 2024
As an Addict, are you “Weaponizing your Weaknesses” as a Reason to NOT Commit to and Live “Real” Recovery?
Mar 05, 2024
After Deeply Betraying Her, How do I Help my Partner Feel Truly “Chosen” Again?
Feb 27, 2024
Is this Coupleship Issue a Dual Sex Addiction? Or Something More?
Feb 20, 2024
What Came First—His Emotional Disconnectedness or His Addiction?
Feb 13, 2024
My Partner’s Porn Addiction Ruined Our Sex Life! Can/Should We Seek a Total “Sexual Reset”?
Feb 06, 2024
Am I Just Too Insecure and Sensitive About What He Does in His “Private Time”?
Jan 30, 2024
“Healthy, Connecting Sexual Dynamic”? You Be the Judge.
Jan 23, 2024
Can He Ever “See” Me Physically & Sexually like He does His Porn Fantasies?
Jan 16, 2024
Is There a Correlation Between ADHD & Porn/Sex Addiction? Can You Cope with Both Collaboratively?
Jan 09, 2024
You Get to Decide What Level of Intimacy You Want in Your Relationship.
Jan 02, 2024
Can “Emotional Cheating” be Worse Than Sexual Betrayal?
Dec 26, 2023
How Do My Partner and I Successfully Navigate a “Therapeutic Separation”? How Do We Do This Well?
Dec 19, 2023
The More I Learn About His “Disgusting Past” the Less I Want to Have Sex with Him! How Can We Ever Recover From This?
Dec 13, 2023
What is the Betrayed Partner’s Responsibility in Rebuilding a Relationship?
Dec 05, 2023
How to have a Healthy Couples Dialogue in Tackling Sexually Triggering Topics
Nov 28, 2023
How Can an Addict and Partner Stay “Safe” During Holiday Trips and Vacations?
Nov 21, 2023
I Have Been Betrayed by So Many Men! What Steps Can I Take Going Forward to NOT be Hurt Again?!
Nov 14, 2023
Why do Betrayed Partners Feel Unsafe? What does it take to Feel Safe Again and Why is this Critical to Healing?
Nov 07, 2023
Episode 200!!! What Does it Mean to “Dare” in Your Relationship?
Oct 31, 2023
You Can Rewire Your Subconscious Mind—and Break Out of Porn/Sex Addiction!
Oct 24, 2023
SPECIAL EPISODE! For My Recovery & My Partner’s Healing—How Can I Stop “Scanning in Public”?
Oct 17, 2023
Sick and Tired of the Roller Coaster Ride of Porn/Sex Addiction? Here Are Some Simple Tools to Start Breaking Free.
Oct 10, 2023
My Spouse “Fooled” Me and Everyone in Our Family for Years! Now I Can’t Stand to Even Look at Him! Is there any Hope for us?
Oct 03, 2023
What is the Difference Between “Codependence” and Authentic Feelings & Boundaries?
Sep 26, 2023
How Can a Porn/Sex Addict in Recovery, most effectively project His Authenticity and Higher Self?
Sep 19, 2023
What is “His” Role and “Her” Role in Rebuilding Trust?
Sep 12, 2023
Should I Marry My Porn-Addicted Fiancé or Move On?
Sep 05, 2023
What Happens when Porn Use/Sex Addiction is Blamed on the so-called “Inadequacies” of a Partner?
Aug 29, 2023
After My Lying and Gaslighting, My Partner Won’t Believe Me! How Do I Show True Empathy & Rebuild Trust?
Aug 22, 2023
Boundaries, Trauma and “Long-Distance-Sex”–Where do We Go From Here?
Aug 15, 2023
Will Confronting my Addict’s "Acting-Out Partners" Help Me Heal?
Aug 08, 2023
What Place Does “Edging” Have or Not Have in Healthy Recovery and Healing a Relationship?
Aug 01, 2023
My Partner’s Definition of “What is Porn” is Different from Mine—We are at an Impasse—Now What?!
Jul 25, 2023
My Porn/Sex Addict Partner’s “Empathy Button” is Broken! What Can I Do?
Jul 18, 2023
How can we Connect When My Partner Acts Out and Then Goes to Shame—Silent, Stoic and Self-Absorbed?!
Jul 11, 2023
“Clearing Away the Wreckage of Your Past"—Recovery Lessons from Steve’s Metal Detecting Trip
Jul 04, 2023
I Want My Addict Partner to SUFFER; to Feel TERRIBLE like I do! Is that Normal? How Can I Stop this Feeling?!
Jun 27, 2023
Evolve from Treating the “Symptoms of Addiction” to a Real & Lasting “Change of Heart & Mind."
Jun 20, 2023
Should I Pay Off My New Spouse's "Porn Debt" So We Can Have a Solid Financial Start?
Jun 13, 2023
Is There a “Statute of Limitations” on Feelings, Betrayal Trauma and Disclosure?
Jun 06, 2023
How do I Stop Comparing Myself to Porn and His Sexual Fantasies?
May 30, 2023
If “Sex is Optional,” How can a Couple Possibly Stay Connected?!
May 23, 2023
How Can We Avoid the Traps and Pitfalls of Addiction Recovery and Betrayal Trauma Healing?
May 16, 2023
What Keeps us Stuck in Addiction and What Does “Real” Recovery Look Like?
May 09, 2023
What Happens When we “Weaponize” What Could be “Healthy Boundaries”?
May 02, 2023
“Normal Human Attraction” vs. “Toxic/Betraying Lust”?
Apr 25, 2023
What can I do about “Random ED Symptoms” in Sexual Intimacy with my Partner?!
Apr 18, 2023
Why are Sexual Boundaries Critical for a truly "Connected Coupleship"?
Apr 11, 2023
As a Partner in Betrayal Trauma, I Feel Resentment Toward my Addict Partner. How do I Manage this?!
Apr 04, 2023
How a lifetime of “Communication Trauma” can prevent “Healthy Connection” in the Here and Now.
Mar 28, 2023
The “Fallacy of Fairness”—Why I Cannot Stand Up For Myself with my Partner
Mar 21, 2023
What Does a Formal, Full “Disclosure” Look Like?
Mar 14, 2023
Having Trouble with “Couples Check-ins”? Give this a Shot.
Mar 07, 2023
When it comes to boundaries and consequences in recovery and healing, what is “my side of the street vs. his"?
Feb 28, 2023
Is all this “Recovery & Healing Crap” really Worth it? Hope for Couples.
Feb 21, 2023
Stop Focusing on your "Addiction Symptoms” and Get to your Core Issues!
Feb 14, 2023
Is there any “Good” to be Learned from Sex Addiction Behaviors and Betrayal Trauma?
Feb 07, 2023
My Partner has a Slip with Porn and I go Online to See What He was Looking at! How do I Stop this Painful Behavior?
Jan 31, 2023
If I Don’t Get Angry/Intense When My Partner Slips/Relapses, He Becomes Complacent! How Do I Find a Healthy Balance?
Jan 24, 2023
What if I Marry an Addict in Recovery and Down the Road He Stops Choosing Recovery? Is there a “Safe Zone” to Prevent This?
Jan 17, 2023
How do I Forgive Myself after Betraying my Wife for 18 Years?!
Jan 10, 2023
After Our Long Addiction and Betrayal History, We Now Live Like “Married Singles.” How Can We Get the “Chemistry & Spark” Back?
Jan 03, 2023
Is 2023 already “Ruined” Due to His Destructive Sexual Behaviors over all the other years?!
Dec 27, 2022
How to be the proactive “Architect” of your Holidays and 2023—as opposed to the same old “Reactive Firefighter.”
Dec 20, 2022
Does it Take a “Catastrophe” to Break Out of Addiction? And, Should I Disclose to My Partner?
Dec 13, 2022
How to Raise Sexually Healthy Kids and Help Those Already Struggling
Dec 06, 2022
Now that I know about my addict partner’s past sexual behaviors, I don’t want to have sex with him!
Nov 29, 2022
What Can You Do When Your Partner Will Not Acknowledge They Have a Porn Problem?
Nov 22, 2022
As a Porn/Sex Addict in Recovery, HOW do I Let Go of Deep Feelings of Shame & Unworthiness?
Nov 15, 2022
Steve's Lessons Learned in Successful Recovery!
Nov 08, 2022
My Addict Spouse Can’t Help His Bad Behaviors Because He is “Powerless”—Right?
Nov 01, 2022
Because of Trauma from my Addict Partner, I'm Seeing the World Through "His Hyper-sexualized Lens"!
Oct 25, 2022
What Role Can/Should a “Polygraph” Play in a Porn/Sex Addict’s “Disclosure” to a Partner?
Oct 18, 2022
Are the Sexual Practices in Your Relationship “Safe”? How Can You Know?
Oct 11, 2022
I was just “blind-sided” by the shocking details of my husband’s sex addiction! Now what!
Oct 04, 2022
My Husband Acts “Sexually Anorexic”—What Can I Do?!
Sep 27, 2022
Basic Recovery/Healing Tools, Part Three: Building Your Support System
Sep 20, 2022
Basic Recovery/Healing Tools, Part Two: The Couples Check-in
Sep 13, 2022
Basic Recovery/Healing Tools, Part One: The Power of Journaling
Sep 06, 2022
Let's Talk "Fetishes"!
Aug 30, 2022
My Partner Claims He “No longer notices women.” Is that possible?
Aug 23, 2022
Is It Simply "Sex Addiction," or Something More?—Examining the Nuances & Roots of Addiction Behaviors.
Aug 16, 2022
How do “Family of Origin” Issues Impact your Addiction, Recovery and Marriage Relationship?
Aug 09, 2022
Now that my partner is in recovery, what should our “sexual norms” look like as a Couple?
Aug 02, 2022
It’s Been a Long Time Since I Looked at Porn–Am I Cured? Do I Still Need “Recovery Work”?
Jul 26, 2022
Would my Spouse Still be an Addict if He had Married Someone Else?
Jul 19, 2022
What if my Addict Partner DEMANDS Sex so He can Stay Sober?
Jul 12, 2022
How “Sex” can be used as an “Intimacy Substitute.”
Jul 05, 2022
Recovery and Healing ARE Possible—Here's HOW to be Successful!
Jun 28, 2022
The “Abuse Cycle” Par Two—The Impact of Abuse on Betrayal Trauma and Healing
Jun 21, 2022
The “Abuse Cycle” Part One—The Impact of Abuse on Addiction
Jun 14, 2022
My Addict Partner of 33 Years is Out of Control and I Don’t Know Where to Start!
Jun 07, 2022
How to Surrender Control of an Addict’s Behaviors while Maintaining Boundaries and Accountability.
May 31, 2022
“To Masturbate or Not to Masturbate?” that is the question!
May 24, 2022
It’s NOT an Addiction if I’m Only Using “Porn Substitutes”—Right???
May 17, 2022
How Mark & Steve moved from “Defensiveness” to “Fighting for their Marriages”—Part Three—The Conclusion!
May 10, 2022
How Mark & Steve moved from “Defensiveness” to “Fighting for their Marriages”—Part Two
May 03, 2022
How Mark & Steve moved from “Defensiveness” to “Fighting for their Marriages"—Part One
Apr 26, 2022
How Long Should I Be “Sober” Before I Start Dating or Having Sex Again?
Apr 19, 2022
Should I Just be “OK” with my Partner's Lusting?
Apr 12, 2022
Are you Sick & Tired of Relapsing? Then it’s time to “Be Stubborn”and “Get An Attitude”!!!
Apr 05, 2022
How can I KNOW when my Partner has finally Stopped Lying and is Serious About His Recovery?
Mar 29, 2022
I Have Discovered My Husband's Relapses More Than a Dozen Times. What Now?
Mar 22, 2022
When is it OK for my Addict Partner to “Back Off” from His Recovery?
Mar 15, 2022
What if my Betrayed Spouse Won’t Keep Up?
Mar 08, 2022
Episode 112: As Addicts, We Can Throw Up HUGE Barriers to Recovery and Mending Our Most Important Relationships!
Mar 01, 2022
TV, Movies & Media in a Betrayed Relationship—Part Two: What to do if you are the Spouse.
Feb 22, 2022
TV, Movies & Media in a Betrayed Relationship—Part One: What to do if you are the addict.
Feb 15, 2022
Are Your “Resentments” Holding You Back?
Feb 09, 2022
As a Spouse, You Have “4 Primary Rights” with Regard to His Disclosure!
Feb 01, 2022
How Can I Ever Dare to Trust Him Again?
Jan 25, 2022
All the ways we convince ourselves we are “entitled” to act out in our addictions
Jan 18, 2022
How do we move out of a “Trauma Response” into “Relationship Authenticity”? (Part Two)
Jan 11, 2022
How do I Recognize when I or my Partner are Caught in a "Trauma Response"? (Part One)
Jan 04, 2022
New Year’s Resolutions Can Make Addiction Worse! Try this Instead.
Dec 28, 2021
How to Balance Christmas (and other holidays) with the Trauma of Recovery & Healing
Dec 21, 2021
When Stress Hits—STAND UP for Your Personal & Couple-ship "Bill of Rights"!
Dec 14, 2021
This is Our 100th Episode! In the Pain of Addiction & Betrayal Trauma—There is GREAT HOPE!
Dec 07, 2021
My Spouse is in Recovery but will NOT have Sex with Me! What Can I Do?
Nov 30, 2021
How Do We Find Connection When There’s Been “Mutual Betrayal”?
Nov 23, 2021
What Should Come First—Him Ending His Affair, or Us Starting Couples Counseling?
Nov 16, 2021
How Can I “Adequately” Explain to My Spouse WHY I Looked at Porn?
Nov 09, 2021
My Husband Watches Female Professional Wrestling. Is That a Problem?
Nov 02, 2021
As an Addict, How Can You Move Past Your Defensiveness to Truly Connect With Your Spouse?
Oct 26, 2021
Has Your Addict Partner Truly "Forgotten" His Past Betrayals OR is He "Gaslighting" You?
Oct 19, 2021
How Do I Overcome the Shame of My Past "Toxic Sex/Me-Centered" Behaviors?
Oct 12, 2021
Is My Partner Lying About His Porn Use? How Can I Know?
Oct 05, 2021
How Can I Forgive a Man Who Has Spent Nearly Our Entire Marriage Lying?!
Sep 28, 2021
How Do I Know if My Spouse is an Addict or Not?
Sep 21, 2021
Unhealthy Relationships Can Help Fuel Porn Addiction—How Can You Move from Co-Dependency to Recovery?
Sep 14, 2021
When Your Partner is a Porn Addict, What Does “Healthy Connection” Look Like?
Sep 07, 2021
Does Recovery & Healing require that we STOP Internet use, AVOID going out in Public and NEVER talk to the opposite sex?
Aug 31, 2021
Your Chosen Path of Sexual Experience—Healthy or Unhealthy? Connecting or Disconnecting?
Aug 24, 2021
You are "Powerless" to Control What He’s Thinking During Sex—or Any Other Time!
Aug 17, 2021
Should I have Daily Sex with my Husband so He can Recover?
Aug 10, 2021
Stuck? Real Recovery & Healing REQUIRE a Trajectory!
Aug 03, 2021
After the Betrayal of Porn Addiction, Can We Ever Have “Healthy Sex”?
Jul 27, 2021
Do You STINK at Setting and Enforcing Healthy Boundaries?!
Jul 20, 2021
Letting Go of Control & Manipulation to WORK Your Own Recovery!
Jul 13, 2021
Navigating Summertime and Sex Addiction!
Jul 06, 2021
Let Go of "Emotional Wallowing" & Embrace "Vision & Meaning"
Jun 29, 2021
Father's Day—Addiction & Trauma Trigger or Healing Event?
Jun 22, 2021
Why is Mindfulness & Connecting with Myself SO Hard?!
Jun 15, 2021
Erectile Dysfunction and Your "Arousal Template"
Jun 08, 2021
I’m Engaged to a Porn Addict—What Should I Do?
Jun 01, 2021
Is Physical Touch the “Love Language” of Most Porn/Sex Addicts?
May 25, 2021
Moving from Addiction to Connection: Reconciliation with Family
May 18, 2021
From Surviving to Thriving in Your Marriage: A Vision for Addicts
May 10, 2021
When is it Time to “Shake Up” Your Recovery and Healing?
May 04, 2021
How Inadequate Self-Care Sabotages Your Recovery and Healing!
Apr 27, 2021
The Wall Between Betrayal Trauma and Healing/Connection
Apr 20, 2021
The WALL Between Conflict and Connection
Apr 13, 2021
How Can a Struggling Couple Come Out of "Relationship Limbo"?
Apr 02, 2021
Can I Ever Go Back to Porn?
Mar 30, 2021
What it Takes to SUCCEED in Recovery and Healing!
Mar 23, 2021
Defining "Slips" and "Relapses"
Mar 16, 2021
Where is the line between “loving” someone and “trusting” them?
Mar 09, 2021
Spiritual Safety and Sexual Intimacy: You Can Have Both!
Mar 02, 2021
Is it "OK" to "Offend" Your Partner?
Feb 23, 2021
Great! He’s in Recovery . . . but What is He Thinking?
Feb 16, 2021
Why Would the Man Who Loves Me, "Gaslight" Me?!
Feb 09, 2021
What Does it Take to Get "SERIOUS" about Real Change?
Feb 02, 2021
The Addict's Journey from Escape & Avoidance to Authenticity & Transparency
Jan 26, 2021
How to Navigate Mental Illness AND Addiction/Betrayal Trauma
Jan 19, 2021
Should We Hide Sex Addiction and Betrayal Trauma From Our Kids?
Jan 12, 2021
How to be Emotionally Healthy as an Individual and Couple in 2021
Jan 05, 2021
Ditch the “New Year’s Resolution" BS—it doesn’t work!
Dec 29, 2020
Learning from Mark & Steve's "Recovery Ghosts of Christmas Past"
Dec 22, 2020
Recovery, Healing & the Holidays—Part Three: Finding Serenity in the Midst of Family "Stuff"
Dec 15, 2020
Recovery, Healing & the Holidays—Par Two: "Self Care? Forget that! It's the Holidays, Bro!"
Dec 08, 2020
Recovery, Healing & the Holidays—Part One: Preparing for and Managing Triggers
Dec 01, 2020
Where Relationship Expectations Collide with Individual Boundaries
Nov 24, 2020
The "Unholy Triad" that can Decimate Your Marriage!
Nov 17, 2020
What Does it Really Mean to "Man-Up"?
Nov 10, 2020
How We Get Stuck in our Pain . . . and How to Heal and Move Forward
Nov 03, 2020
Is there a Place for "Sexual Entitlement" in a Healthy Marriage Relationship?
Oct 27, 2020
If You Don't Have Honesty—You Don't Have Much
Oct 20, 2020
Are YOU Choosing Your Life . . . OR . . . is "IT" Choosing You?
Oct 13, 2020
In Recovery & Healing—Is God Your Problem or Your Solution?
Oct 06, 2020
Hey, we're doing well, so we can let up on our Boundaries—Right?
Sep 29, 2020
I'm Not Sexually Attracted to My Partner—Are We Done?
Sep 22, 2020
How to Have DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS that bring TRUE CONNECTION!
Sep 15, 2020
How Do We Become Trapped in a "Marriage Crisis" and Can We Ever Come Back Together?
Sep 08, 2020
How "Pain Avoidance" feeds Addiction & Betrayal Trauma!
Sep 01, 2020
Separating "Attraction" from the "Addiction"—Where are the Boundaries?
Aug 25, 2020
Porn Addiction Relapse—the Fallout and Breaking the Addiction Cycle
Aug 18, 2020
Refuse to Be a "Victim"—"Let Go" and Allow Her to Heal from Betrayal Trauma!
Aug 11, 2020
Breaking Free from the "Victim Trap" of His Porn Addiction
Aug 04, 2020
How Do I Regain Her Trust and How Do I Trust Her?
Jul 27, 2020
How Do I Ever TRUST my Porn/Sex Addicted Spouse Again?
Jul 21, 2020
"Boundaried" Relationships Last—Even in the Midst of Porn Addiction & Betrayal Trauma!
Jul 14, 2020
Todd Tells His Sex Addiction Recovery Story—Part Two
Jul 07, 2020
Let Go of the "Sexual Beast' and Embrace REAL Intimacy in your Marriage!
Jun 30, 2020
Todd Tells His Sex Addiction Recovery Story—Part One
Jun 24, 2020
Healthy Sex vs. Toxic Sex in Marriage
Jun 16, 2020
How do you keep going in Recovery and Healing when you're Burned Out and just plain "Done"!
Jun 08, 2020
Is it OK to Occasionally "Lie" if its in the Best Interest of Your Recovery or Healing?
Jun 01, 2020
Those Darn Thinking Errors!—"Emotional Reasoning" and the "Unreal Ideal"
May 25, 2020
Pulling Out a Chair for God at Your Marriage Table
May 18, 2020
For the Spouse of an Addict—How to "Let Go and Let God."
May 11, 2020
The "Addict" vs. "God"
May 04, 2020
We Made All the Marriage Mistakes so YOU Don't Have To!—Part TWO
Apr 25, 2020
We Made All the Marriage Mistakes so YOU Don't Have To!—Part One
Apr 20, 2020
Two Former Porn Addicts—"If I Could Go Back in Time, WHAT Would I DO different?"
Apr 13, 2020
Here's EXACTLY HOW to Use the "Surrender Tool" as an Addict, Spouse and Citizen
Apr 07, 2020
How to Practice the Essential "Art of Surrender" in a Scary World!
Mar 30, 2020
How to Get Out of Your "Coronavirus Brain" and TAKE CHARGE!
Mar 23, 2020
Managing Your Emotions & Triggers in These Trying Times!
Mar 17, 2020
Are My Sexual Behaviors a Problem?
Mar 09, 2020
Unraveling the BIG Mystery of Porn Addiction—"Why do I keep going back to it?!"
Mar 03, 2020
Battling Through Trauma Together!
Feb 25, 2020
Conflict Isn't Bad—Fighting the Real Enemy, NOT Each Other!
Feb 15, 2020
What is Betrayal Trauma—Part Three—Setting Sexual Boundaries
Feb 06, 2020
What is "Betrayal Trauma"—Part Two—Symptoms and Healing
Feb 04, 2020
What is "Betrayal Trauma"—Part One
Jan 28, 2020
Porn—Stress Reliever or Stress Inducer?
Jan 14, 2020
What is Porn and What is Not? It Might Not Be What You Think!
Jan 14, 2020