Growth Over Easy: Relationship Skills for Long-Term Love

By Lilly Rachels

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Category: Relationships

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Episodes: 195

Description

Growth Over Easy is a relationship podcast for couples and individuals who want long-term love that actually feels good to be in. Hosted by Lilly Rachels, MSW — relationship coach, Relational Life Therapy practitioner, and co-founder of Relational Somatics — this podcast goes beyond communication tips to explore the nervous system patterns, attachment styles, and childhood blueprints that shape the way you love, fight, shut down, and connect. Most couples aren't failing for lack of love. They're failing because nobody taught them how to stay: in conflict, in discomfort, in the moment when it would be easier to check out. Each week, Lilly delivers short solo episodes on emotional regulation, intimacy, conflict repair, attachment, nervous system flexibility, and the relationship skills that build lasting partnerships. Drawing on Relational Life Therapy and somatic work, this show makes the complex practical and the heavy stuff surprisingly human. If you're in a long-term relationship or marriage, rebuilding after a rough season, or just want a smarter approach to love and connection — this podcast is for you. New episodes weekly. The real work of long-term love.

www.growthovereasy.com

Episode Date
188: Stop Speaking Your Truth: Why It Is Damaging Your Relationship (And What to Do Instead)
Jun 16, 2026
187: The Time Machine: Why You Keep Having the Same Fight (Part 5 of 5): The Nervous System Pattern Quietly Killing Connection
Jun 09, 2026
186: The Performance: Why Being Easy Is Slowly Starving Your Relationship (Part 4 of 5): The Nervous System Pattern Quietly Killing Connection
Jun 02, 2026
185: The Scorecard: Why You Keep Score in Relationships (Part 3 of 5): The Nervous System Pattern Quietly Killing Connection
May 26, 2026
184: The Takeover: Why You Escalate During Arguments (Part 2 of 5): The Nervous System Pattern Quietly Killing Connection
May 19, 2026
183: Why You Shut Down During Arguments (Part 1 of 5): The Nervous System Pattern Quietly Killing Connection
May 12, 2026
182: Why You Think You Know What Your Partner Is Thinking (And Why You're Wrong)
Apr 28, 2026
181: You're Not Avoiding the Fight — You're Making It More Expensive Later
Apr 21, 2026
180: Why Playing the Victim Is Wrecking Your Relationship (And What to Do Instead)
Apr 14, 2026
179: What ChatGPT Said About Being Human, Presence, and Why You Need to Slow Down
Apr 07, 2026
178: How to Stop Ruminating on the Past and Worrying About the Future (A Nervous System Approach)
Mar 31, 2026
177: The Simulation You're Living In, Why You Keep Misreading Your Spouse, and What Past Wounds Have to Do with It
Mar 24, 2026
176: Why Everything Feels So Urgent in Your Life and Relationship (What Your Nervous System Is Really Doing)
Mar 17, 2026
175: Core Values, Checking Your Energy, and Why ChatGPT Can't Save Your Relationship
Mar 10, 2026
174: Why You Keep Having the Same Fight (You're Treating the Symptom, Not the Cause)
Mar 03, 2026
173: Here's Why Your Wife Says Your Feedback Is Criticism (And How to Fix It)
Feb 17, 2026
172: Why You Can't Turn It Off at Home (Chronic Activation Explained for Men)
Feb 10, 2026
171: Why High-Performing Men Snap at Home (And How to Stop the Explode Shutdown Cycle)
Feb 03, 2026
170: Why You Keep Her at Arm's Length (Fear of Rejection Explained)
Jan 27, 2026
169: Vagal Authority: Why You Can't Relax at Home (And How to Build It)
Jan 20, 2026
168: Why You Explode Over Small Things (And How to Stop)
Jan 13, 2026
167: What's In and Out for Relationships in 2026
Jan 06, 2026
166: Losing Strategy #5: Withdrawal (And Why It Slowly Kills Your Relationship)
Dec 30, 2025
165: Losing Strategy #4: Retaliation (And Why It Creates a Cycle of Payback)
Dec 23, 2025
164: Losing Strategy #3: Unbridled Self-Expression (And Why Your Partner Can't Hear You)
Dec 16, 2025
163: Losing Strategy #2: Controlling Your Partner (And How It's Destroying Your Relationship)
Dec 09, 2025
162: Losing Strategy #1: Fighting to Be Right (And Why It's Wrecking Your Communication)
Dec 02, 2025
161: Why Your Apologies Aren't Working (And What to Do Instead)
Nov 25, 2025
160: Why Traditional Therapy Fails Men (And What Actually Works)
Nov 18, 2025
159: Why High-Performing Men Shut Down at Home (And How to Fix It)
Nov 11, 2025
158: Stop Acting Like You Don’t Care: The Truth About Emotional Detachment and Attraction
Nov 04, 2025
157: The Three Silent Killers of Communication in Relationships
Oct 28, 2025
156: The Relational Blueprint Method: A Framework for Long-Term Love
Oct 21, 2025
155: Why Relationships Are the Ultimate Space for Growth
Oct 21, 2025
154: Welcome to Relationship Growth: How to Build and Keep a Healthy Relationship
Oct 21, 2025
153: Why You’re Playing Two Different Games in Your Relationship
Aug 11, 2025
152: Why “Not Caring if You’re Cheated On” Isn’t Strength — It’s Avoidance
Jul 21, 2025
151: Why We Shut Down in Love: Inner Child Wounds, ChatGPT Therapy, and Repairing Ruptures
Jul 15, 2025
150: Waiting for an Apology, Marvel Villains, and I Forgot My Swimsuit
Jun 29, 2025
149: Crying in the Mountains, Talking to ChatGPT, and Remembering What Matters
Jun 22, 2025
148: Life Update & 3 Relationship Insights You Need to Hear
Mar 04, 2025
147: What Comes Out When Life Squeezes You? How I Dropped Complaining and Chose to Raise My Vibration
Feb 18, 2025
146: Three Things I Do to Find Peace When I’m Stuck in Overthinking and Overwhelm
Feb 11, 2025
145: Rethinking Breakups: It’s Over, But That Doesn’t Mean It Was a Waste of Time
Feb 04, 2025
144: 3 Simple Strategies I Use to Quiet My Mind and Listen More Deeply in Relationships
Jan 28, 2025
143: The Moment I Realized It Wasn't Him, It Was Me
Jan 21, 2025
142: Why Can’t I Let Love In? How to Stop Pushing People Away When You Want Them Close
Jan 14, 2025
141: Is Your 'Venting' Ruining Your Relationship?
Jan 07, 2025
140: New Year, Happier Us: Relearning Relationships in 2025
Dec 30, 2024
139: The Fear of Rejection: How to Overcome Hyper-Vigilance and Self-Protection in Relationships
Dec 16, 2024
138: The TWO Things Ruining Your Relationships (and How to Stop Them)
Dec 09, 2024
137: Gratitude in Action: Transform Your Relationships in 31 Days
Dec 02, 2024
136: THIS Is What It Takes to Experience Deeply Supportive Relationships
Nov 25, 2024
135: Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop? Stop Self-Sabotage in Relationships
Nov 18, 2024
134: Masculine and Feminine Energies in Relationships: What Beth and Rip Can Teach Us About Polarity
Nov 11, 2024
133: The Power of One Honest Conversation: How Assumptions Nearly Ended an 8-Year Friendship
Nov 04, 2024
132: How to Face Conflict Without Running Away
Oct 31, 2024
131: Escaping the Thought Spiral: Mastering Emotions and Easing Anxious Overthinking
Oct 28, 2024
130: Attachment Styles Aren’t Permanent (And How to Change Yours)
Oct 21, 2024
129: Resolving Conflict in Relationships: How Childhood Patterns Shape Your Reactions
Oct 14, 2024
128: Shift Your Mindset: How Gratitude Transforms Relationships
Oct 07, 2024
127: Unpacking Your Definition of Love
Oct 01, 2024
126: Stop Hurtful Words: Change the Way You Speak in Your Relationship
Aug 16, 2024
125: Don't Go To Couples Therapy! Do This Instead...
Jun 20, 2024
124: Strengthen Your Relationships with Healthy Boundaries
Jun 07, 2024
123: Craft vs. Convenience in Relationships: Embracing the Journey
May 29, 2024
122: Ask Yourself This If You Want A Long-Term Relationship
May 04, 2024
121: My Biggest Frustration When Couples Break Up
Apr 05, 2024
120: Peace: An Inside Job + New Program Launch
Mar 29, 2024
Workshop: Growth Over Silence
Mar 27, 2024
119: Men, Are You Regulating Or Suppressing Your Emotions?
Mar 22, 2024
118: Are You Using Sarcasm to Bypass Your Pain?
Mar 15, 2024
117: Communication Builds Community
Mar 09, 2024
Workshop: How to Calm Your Mind
Feb 28, 2024
116: Let’s Talk About Anxiety
Feb 23, 2024
115: 4 Ways Overthinking is Keeping You Lonely
Feb 16, 2024
Workshop Replay: “I Can’t Believe This” - The Stages of Grief: Denial
Feb 09, 2024
114: How to Start Releasing Suppressed Grief
Feb 02, 2024
113: I'm Angry My Mom Died
Jan 26, 2024
Workshop: Grief Sucks & I'm Confused
Jan 20, 2024
112: I Miss You and I Don't: Navigating Complicated Grief
Jan 20, 2024
111: Let's Talk About Grief
Jan 20, 2024
110: This Will Ruin Your Communication
Nov 13, 2023
109: Breaking Free from Emotional Loops
Nov 06, 2023
108: Fighting to Be Right: A Relationship Roadblock
Oct 30, 2023
107: Are You Quietly Quitting Your Relationship?
Oct 23, 2023
106: My 7 Keys to Healthy Communication
Oct 02, 2023
105: Stop Saying "I'm Fine" When You're NOT
Sep 18, 2023
104: Relational Microdosing
Sep 11, 2023
103: The Evolution of Relationship
Aug 21, 2023
102: Healing Where You Are
Aug 01, 2023
101: Campsite Principle
Jun 26, 2023
100: Beneath the Ice: Grooming and Sexual Abuse in Youth Sports
Jun 05, 2023
99: How You Get Rid of Things Matters
May 22, 2023
98: Do You Need An Emotional Demo Day?
May 04, 2023
97: What Your Physical Space Says About Your Emotional State
Apr 17, 2023
96: Are You Destination or Journey Minded?
Apr 10, 2023
95: Is Relational Dedication Dead?
Mar 27, 2023
94: What Truly Creates Deep Relational Connection
Mar 20, 2023
93: How To Process Uncomfortable Emotions
Mar 13, 2023
92: Becoming an Optimist through Gratitude
Feb 27, 2023
91: Why it's Important to Pursue Growth in Your Relationship
Feb 20, 2023
90: Dealing with Overwhelm w/ Laurie Gery
Feb 06, 2023
89: The 2 Missing Pieces for Effective Communication
Jan 30, 2023
88: Finding JOY After Divorce with Heidi Bee
Jan 23, 2023
87: 5 Things Harming Your Relationship
Jan 16, 2023
86: Why You Need a Mentor with January Donovan
Jan 09, 2023
85: Check On Your Happy Friends
Dec 15, 2022
84: Other's Perspectives
Dec 08, 2022
83: Your Communication Blueprint
Dec 01, 2022
82: Jillian Flodstrom
Nov 28, 2022
81: Thanksgiving Gratitude
Nov 24, 2022
80: Jerremy Newsome
Nov 21, 2022
79: Communication Energy
Nov 17, 2022
78: From Corporate Career to Award-Winning Photographer: John Mollura on Imposter Syndrome and Transformation
Nov 14, 2022
77: Friends over Followers
Nov 10, 2022
76: Growth Over Comfort w/ Carli Kahl
Nov 07, 2022
75: Stay Curious
Nov 03, 2022
74: Adaptive Child vs. Functional Adult
Oct 27, 2022
73: Climbing Together
Oct 20, 2022
72: Dr. Shahana Alibhai
Oct 17, 2022
71: Feeling Overwhelmed
Oct 13, 2022
70: Heidi Gruss
Oct 10, 2022
69: Reflective Responses
Oct 06, 2022
68: Dr. Alice Penn
Oct 03, 2022
67: Words Matter
Sep 29, 2022
66: Anton Gunn
Sep 26, 2022
65: Healing Conflict
Sep 22, 2022
64: Johanna White
Sep 19, 2022
63: Holding Space
Sep 15, 2022
62: Dr. Justin Moseley
Sep 12, 2022
61: Mindset Morning Routine
Sep 08, 2022
60: Helping Kids Build Confidence Through Movement with Philip Laslett
Sep 05, 2022
59: Your G.P.S
Sep 01, 2022
58: Finding Your G.P.S. in Life with Leadership Expert Juan Alvarado
Aug 29, 2022
57: Climbing the Vibrational Ladder
Aug 25, 2022
56: Johanna Buchweitz
Aug 22, 2022
55: Choosing Your Vibration (RV Story)
Aug 18, 2022
54: Ed Howie
Aug 15, 2022
53: Are they just asking you a question?
Jun 27, 2022
52: Boundaries with Yourself
May 24, 2022
*Welcome to Growth over Easy
May 24, 2022
51: Let Grief Flow
Feb 06, 2022
Ep. 50: Talk To Me Like You Love Me
Jan 31, 2022
Ep. 49: I Choose this because I Want that
Jan 19, 2022
Ep. 48: Pay Yourself First
Jan 11, 2022
Ep. 47: What You Put Up With You End Up With
Dec 17, 2021
Ep. 46: Let’s Get International.
Dec 15, 2021
Ep. 45: Owning Your Behaviors
Jun 15, 2021
Ep. 44: Unbridled Self-Expression
May 25, 2021
Ep. 43: Mind Monsters
May 18, 2021
Ep. 42: Uncomfortable Conversations
May 04, 2021
Ep. 41: Falling for the Potential
Apr 20, 2021
Ep. 40: How to be Less Annoyed
Apr 13, 2021
Ep. 39: Personal Standards
Apr 06, 2021
Ep. 38: Your Heart is a Muscle
Mar 30, 2021
Ep. 37: I Will Handle It
Mar 23, 2021
Ep. 36: Leaky Boundary Syndrome
Mar 16, 2021
Ep. 35: "you made me"
Mar 09, 2021
Ep. 34: Uncomfortable Feelings
Mar 02, 2021
Ep. 33: Internal vs. External Processors
Feb 23, 2021
Ep. 32: The Pause Tool
Feb 16, 2021
Ep. 31: Gut Instincts
Feb 09, 2021
Ep. 30: Sadness vs. Depression
Feb 02, 2021
Ep. 29: Fights, Arguments or Conversations
Jan 26, 2021
Ep. 28: Visualize Your Ideal Relationship
Jan 19, 2021
Ep. 27: Schedule Your Freak Out
Jan 12, 2021
Ep. 26: The Four Horsemen
Jan 05, 2021
Ep. 25: Releasing Into 2021
Dec 29, 2020
Merry Christmas
Dec 22, 2020
Ep. 24: I Will Tell You
Dec 15, 2020
Ep. 23: Social Media Detox
Dec 08, 2020
Ep. 22: Too Much Personal Growth
Dec 01, 2020
Ep. 21: Grief
Nov 17, 2020
Ep. 20: Give People the Space to Feel
Nov 10, 2020
EP. 19: Language Matters
Nov 03, 2020
Ep. 18: Seven Second Silent Rule
Oct 27, 2020
Ep. 17: Compliment Your Partner
Oct 20, 2020
Ep. 16: Hiking Wisdom
Oct 13, 2020
Ep. 15: Employ Empathy
Oct 06, 2020
Ep. 14: Why are Healthy Relationships Boring?
Sep 29, 2020
Ep. 13: Look for the Good
Sep 22, 2020
Ep. 12: Micro Goals
Sep 15, 2020
Ep. 11: Suicide Prevention
Sep 08, 2020
Ep. 10: Leading with Your Feelings
Sep 01, 2020
Ep. 9: The Hard Stuff
Aug 25, 2020
Ep. 8: How to Listen
Aug 18, 2020
Ep. 7: Asking for Help
Aug 11, 2020
Ep. 6: Navigating Conflict
Aug 04, 2020
Ep. 5: Unverbalized Expectations
Jul 28, 2020
Ep. 4: Replacing Negative Thoughts
Jul 21, 2020
Ep. 3: Cultivating Self-Awareness
Jul 14, 2020
Ep. 2: Identifying Your Core Values
Jul 14, 2020
Ep. 1: What is Eat Your Peas?
Jul 14, 2020
Trailer
Jun 16, 2020