The LoPriore Podcast

By Danny D LoPriore

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Brothers Michael & Danny LoPriore have set out the make the funniest podcast of all time and have settled for this. Join them on their infinite quest for podcast supremacy as they spare the lives of no one who crosses them. If you don't listen to this show, something is wrong with you, not them, figure your life out bro.

Episode Date
#074: We're Murderers
On this episode, Mike returns, we talk about killing bugs, Hottest ladies of the 80's, Its our mom's birthday, cheating, red pubes and stuff. idk enjoy.
Jun 28, 2022
#073: Danny Does Stand Up...I Guess
On this episode, Danny flies solo, does an impromptu stand up set discussing Joe Biden falling off his bike, getting his gift for his Dad stolen & more! Enjoy.
Jun 21, 2022
#072: Is Danny Still Fat?
On this episode, Danny loses weight but is he still fat? Michael tells acid trip stories and we reveal each states favorite soda! Enjoy.
Jun 14, 2022
Episode #071: T-Pain Gives Mike A Diamond Chain
On this episode Mike gets a gift from T-Pain...yes that T-Pain, we talk about talking during sex, letting our girls have OnlyFans feet accounts, Mike's favorite things of all time, Sports...yes SPORTS! & much much more! Enjoy!
Jun 07, 2022
#070: Stranger Things Returns
On this episode, we talk about the new season of Stranger Things, old movie voices, low T energy, Mona Lisa getting cake faced & more! Enjoy!
May 31, 2022
#069: Logan Paul Is Running For President
On this episode, Danny has a crazy run in at a doctors office, Logan Paul is running for President, Mike gets cheated on & more! Enjoy.
May 24, 2022
#068: Girls Poop Too…Kinda
On this episode, we discuss some serious topics, including the Buffalo shooting, we play "Like dat? I don't like dat." Good date ideas, Kendrick's new album, Drake vs Kendrick... & more!
May 17, 2022
#067: Amber Heard vs. Johnny Depp
On this episode we have a sleepover, we discuss the weirdest legends from our hometown of Hastings, Canelo's loss, Kevin Samuels' death, we call our cousin, we discuss the Amber Heard vs. Johnny Depp trial, sleepover stories & much more! Enjoy.
May 10, 2022
#066: Michael & Danny Answer The Internet
On this episode, we answer Patreon questions! Michael gets vaxxed and gets flamed for it, Danny goes to a wedding in Pittsburgh, gets stabbed by his dad and grandpa, Pete Davidson being an impulsive weirdo & much much more! Enjoy
May 03, 2022
#065: Danny Has COVID
Welp. Danny has COVID. We decided to post the pay the price Patreon exclusive and a brand new episode at the same damn time. Congrats and Enjoy!
Apr 26, 2022
#064: Too Old For Coachella
On this episode, Danny gets canceled for his Coachella cut off age, Michael finds something interesting on a walk, we talk about Bats weiners, music, having children & our desert island movies! Enjoy!
Apr 19, 2022
#063: Pay The Price...Again
On this episode, Danny is addicted to Elden Ring, UFC, TV shows & we play Pay The Price again. Enjoy!
Apr 12, 2022
#062: Are God & Science The Same Thing?
On this episode, we come up with some awesome invention ideas, Is God, science? We tell stories of our criminal pasts, weird porn, crashing cars & more!
Apr 05, 2022
#061: Will Smith Is Insane
On this episode, we talk about Will Smith smacking Chris Rock, Danny has an unrealistic bucket list, our mom going to college with us, Crazy Mike & more!
Mar 29, 2022
#060: Bad Vegan
On this episode, we cover so many topics I don't even know where to begin. We talk about Netflix's new popular documentary "Bad Vegan", we fart super loud into mics, we talk about 2000s hip hop, we celebrate Mike's birthday and Danny has diarrhea. Enjoy!
Mar 22, 2022
#059: Danny Fights On An Airplane
Michael is sick, so Danny takes us on a solo trip. He discusses Michael's birthday, how Michael beat him up as a kid, his journey to and from Florida, being approached by a vegan warrior, sitting next to sick people on a plane, takes some questions from fans & much more! Enjoy!
Mar 16, 2022
#058: Living With Tourettes
On this episode, Mike explains what living with Tourettes is like, Danny sees Batman, Mike is addicted to Elden Ring, Danny hanging out with Joe, Netflix documentaries about freaky neighbors, Danny has to poop mid show & more!
Mar 08, 2022
#057: The Time Our Dad Died
On this episode, we talk about our Dad's near death experience, how we singlehandedly saved Hank The Tank, Danny's near death experience, evolution, Ukraine & Putin and so much more, enjoy!
Mar 01, 2022
#056: Are We Real Men?
On this episode, we discuss Brock Lesnar being a real man, Mike changing diapers, Mike's first panic attack, Danny being beaten by his fiancee , a fat ass bear, diplo stealing our song & more!
Feb 22, 2022
#055: The Tinder Swindler
On this episode, we discuss The Tinder Swindler, Kanye's latest attempts to "control his narrative.." the Super Bowl, Porn Hub comments game & more! Enjoy!
Feb 15, 2022
#054: TikTok Live is Weird AF!
On this episode, we discuss the disgusting forum know as "TikTok Live" , what did Jesus smell like, Kanye & Kim's recently IG spat & Shakespeare spitting fire bars. Enjoy!
Feb 08, 2022
#053: Are We Gaslighting?
On this episode, we try to find out if we're gaslighters, we also try to understand what gaslighting even is. ENJOY!
Feb 01, 2022
#052: West Elm Caleb
On this episode we talk about ghosting/ west elm Caleb, Danny's new meds, we cover a classic, Michael makes another bet, Karens, Danye West is here & more
Jan 25, 2022
Episode #051: What's Up Your Butt?
On this episode, we talk about butt stuff, Tony Soprano opens Pokemon cards & we do an AMA, Enjoy!!!!
Jan 18, 2022
Episode #050: LIVE SHOW PART 2
Part 2 is here! Michael and I go crazy on this one, enjoy!!!!!!!
Jan 12, 2022
Intro Songs Compilation Episodes #001 - #049
On this episode, its not an episode...all bangers. Enjoy!
Jan 12, 2022
Episode #050: LIVE SHOW Part 1
Part 1 of our 50th Anniversary! Danny goes live and does a bunch of songs! Tells doctor stories & MORE! Enjoy!
Jan 12, 2022
On this episode, we talk about high school nicknames, gay rappers & play a game called "This or That?"ENJOY!
Jan 05, 2022
On this COVID filled episode, we are joined by Jared while Danny is stuck in Florida. Danny details his story driving to Florida from NY, we catch us with Jared and his lifestyle down in Miami, and play a question game. Enjoy!
Dec 28, 2021
Episode #047: Mike's Crappy Christmas
On this episode, we do a gift exchange and talk about our favorite Christmas songs and movies! Enjoy!
Dec 21, 2021
Episode #046: Old Music Was Creepy AF
On this episode, we go back in time to see the creepiest songs ever recorded in the history of music! Enjoy!
Dec 14, 2021
Episode #045: North Korea Be Trippin'
On this episode, we talk about Kim Jong Un outlawing leather jackets & killing the Squid Game smuggler. We also make an awesome holiday movie trailer & more! Enjoy.
Dec 07, 2021
Episode #44: PokeSex
On this episodes we take some quizzes and give Pokemon sex names...Enjoy!
Nov 30, 2021
Episode #043: Onion Nips
On this episode, we talk about Michael sucking onion nips, how gross New York City is, our drunk friend & more, Enjoy!
Nov 23, 2021
Episode #042: Pay The Price
On this episode, we play Joe Santagato and Greg Dybec's game "Pay The Price" Enjoy!
Nov 16, 2021
#041: Danny Steps In Doo Doo
On this episode, Danny gets a squishy surprise, Michael talks about body rights, we make another latino banger & much more! Enjoy!
Nov 09, 2021
#040: Zuck's Metaverse
On this episode, we discuss Mark Zuckerberg's "Meta" verse & his love for Sweet Baby Ray's. Who would win in a nerd off, Elon or Mark. We slap each others butts as hard as we can & much more! Enjoy!!
Nov 02, 2021
#039: Dave Chappelle vs. The World
On this episode, we talk about Dave Chappelle vs. Cancel Culture, the Alec Baldwin shooting & more! Enjoy!
Oct 26, 2021
Episode #038: Peeing Your Pants
On this episode, we talk about who would give better BJ's, peeing our pants, fighting small dudes, Halloween Kills, the new Batman trailer & more! Enjoy!
Oct 19, 2021
Episode #037: Dirty Street Rats
On this episode, Danny talks about his trip to Europe, Game of Thrones, how gross dudes are & Michael finds old raps he wrote in jail.
Oct 12, 2021
#036: Is Santa Claus Dead?
On this episode, we talk about the mystery of Santa Claus, how old will your kids be when you tell them he isnt real, when to throw down versus a new "challenger", Michael's relationship with religion & more!
Oct 05, 2021
#035: If You Can"t Beat 'Em...
On the episode, we look at the weirdest dating websites on the planet, Danny takes about his fan meet up, R.Kelly, a fan sends up a gift & more!
Sep 28, 2021
#034: Finger Sucking Foods
On this episode, we discuss love making with household items, The Gabby Petito story & what foods we enjoy sucking off our fingers, enjoy!
Sep 21, 2021
#033: The Boys Go Ghost Hunting
 On this episode, we open some pokemon cards, talk about fetishes, the 20th anniversary of 9/11, SEAL Team 6 & more! Enjoy 
Sep 14, 2021
#32: LoPriores Are All Elite
On this episode, we discuss "Certified Lover Boy", the new Spider Man trailer, AEW's last pay per view, street performers, old cartoons & dinner with Jay-Z. ENJOY!
Sep 07, 2021
#31: America Is HORNED UP!
On this episode, we discuss Michael smoking angel dust, which countries are the horniest, weird friend sleepovers and fighting to the death! Enjoy!
Aug 31, 2021
#030: Humans Are Aliens
 On this episode, we dive deep into our insecurities, cheating, Drake vs. Kanye, Danny gets followed, the possibility of humans being aliens & more!
Aug 24, 2021
#029: Gangstas Can Change
On this episode, we make an absolute banger, we talk about how much we hate bad waiters, we talk about elephant breasts, Michael cuts his sack open...this episode is insane.
Aug 17, 2021
#028: Danny's Gallon Challenge
On this episode, Danny drinks an entire gallon of water in less than 2 hours, we set up our best VERZUZ match ups, we talk DONDA, we also take. series of tests to see what our deal is LOL. Enjoy!
Aug 10, 2021
#027: Creepy Teachers
 On this episode, things are a little different. Danny might have Covid & the biggest zit of all time. We talk our weird lumpy bodies, creepy teachers & more! Enjoy.
Aug 03, 2021
#026: Danny Almost Dies
 On this episode, Danny almost dies visiting a waterfall, Mike has an STD scare, we talk about the state of hip hop, Kanye's new album & more! 
Jul 27, 2021
#025: Would You Pee On Me?
 On this episode, we start off with a banger of a song, Michael guesses celebrity heights, Bezos in space, oily ducks, we call patrons and ask them weird questions & much more!
Jul 20, 2021
#024: Finding Love..In Jail.
 On this episode, we talk about the crazy world of Jail Pen Pals, Michael's type of lady, people lying about their happiness on social media & more!!
Jul 13, 2021
#023: Dad & Danny Go to Church
 On this episode, Michael is sick, so my father Danny Sr. fills in for him. We talk the bible, sex, lies & Rock n' Roll. We talk drugs in sports, his sports writing career & much more. Enjoy!
Jul 06, 2021
#022: Mike Hates Family Stuff
On this episode, we talk about porn, obviously. Sexy ass man beards, Mike's fears and hate for family gatherings, anxiety and more! Enjoy!
Jun 29, 2021
#021: Lick My Ears...Hard.
On this episode, we talk about the ASMR world of vigorous ear licking & answer the patrons questions! Enjoy!
Jun 22, 2021
#020: Mueve Ese Culo ( Move That A$$)
 On this episode, we talk about smelling our grundles, our bouts with depression and anxiety, Danny's bipolar, Bo Burnham's Inside, Sweet Tooth, dating someone with mental health issues & more! Enjoy!
Jun 15, 2021
#019: Huntin' For Charizard
On this episode, we continue our hunt for Charizard, Danny up's the Patreon ante, we discuss Logan Paul vs. Mayweather, Pride Month & more. Enjoy!!!
Jun 08, 2021
#018: Our Best Episode Yet
 On this episode we cover it all, 69, things actually get pretty deep but also extremely hilarious, we talk about historical heroes cheating on their wives, why they get passes, The stupid Knicks & Trae Young, cancel culture, rich people not giving their kids money, Mike's hate for Jesse Eisenberg, how stupid the show Pawn Stars is & much more!
Jun 01, 2021
#017: Would You Date a Homeless Person?
On this episode, we ask, would you date a homeless person? We talk about Adrian's Kickback, how dumb shuffling is, weird AIRBNBs & MUCH MORE!
May 25, 2021
#016: Gotta Catch 'Em All!!!
   On this episode, we open Pokemon cards as 30 year old men...yeah. We also do a massive Patreon fan Q&A! Enjoy!
May 18, 2021
#015: Michael Almost Dies
On this episode, Michael almost dies from eating the hottest Gummy Bear in the world, we rank our top Robin Williams and Jim Carrey Movies, Danny shows off his new gold teeth & our Dad makes an emergency guest appearance after Michael dies, enjoy!
May 11, 2021
Episode #014: Call Him Daddy
On this episode, our Dad calls in, we talk about Kombucha and how much it sucks, Danny gives Mike a gift & much more! Enjoy!!
May 04, 2021
Episode #013: Are We Scientologists??
On this episode, we talk about Mike fighting a roach to the death & a roach being called a "longipenis" we take a scientology personality test, we talk about paranormal experiences in our lives, The Oscars being mad weird & more!
Apr 27, 2021
Episode #012: 4/20 Blaze It
On this episode, our season finale, we set it off with a 4/20 track, talk about how weed makes us anxious, our mom calls in and tells us who her favorite child is, we talk to a patron who got paid to let a guy lick her dirty shoe & more!
Apr 20, 2021
Episode #011: Long Live The Dog
On this episode, our Mom decided she wanted to produce the show, we talk about Danny's Covid shot round two, someone stealing all his money, living in South Jersey, Our Dad's endowment, Tom Hanks not wanting to kiss Antonio Banderas & we pay tribute to life of one of our favorite artists, Earl "DMX" Simmons. Enjoy!
Apr 13, 2021
Episode #010: Jared Is HERE!!!
On this episode, we're joined by our super hot brother Jared. We talk about Jared's move to Miami and how he's adjusting life. We dropped some UK Drill, we do a MASSIVE FAN Q&A, we get Jared to tell some crazy stories about our parents, Michael not answering the door when Jared came to visit, Bhad Babie's OnlyFans & More!
Apr 06, 2021
Episode #009: Danny Is Ursula...Yeah.
On this episode, our Patreon reached 200 subs, so Danny dresses up as Ursula from The Little Mermaid, we talk about statues having small dongs and look up the reason why, Jake Paul vs. Ben Askren, the Evergreen boat, Michael hooks up with a 50 year old woman, the Cinnamon Toast Crunch controversy & MUCH MORE, Enjoy!
Mar 30, 2021
Episode #008: The Legend of Toast Girl
#TheLoPriorePodcast On this episode, Michael tells his infamous toast girl story, we talk about President Biden's tumble, Kylie's GoFundMe controversy, we make a fire reggaeton song, when's the last time Michael had sex, threesomes, open relationships & more...Enjoy!!!
Mar 23, 2021
Episode #007 - How OCD...Are We??
On this episode, we test Michael's OCD, we talk about Michael's birthday, old school rappers, knocking on neighbors doors, weird children's toys, we leave a patron a sexy voice mail, The Power Rangers curse, Last Chance U & more!
Mar 16, 2021
Episode #006​ - That's One Sexy Bunny
On this episode, we discuss Lola Bunny's "makeover", Michael dealing with his Tourette's Syndrome, Girls double farting, we have our first ever Patreon phone call, weird school assemblies & more! Enjoy!
Mar 09, 2021
Episode #005 - All Hail King Michael
On this episode, we talked about how weird Kings were, The elevator girl documentary, our Dad killing us, picklephobia, plastic surgery, panic attacks from coffee, peeing in the shower & more! Enjoy!
Mar 02, 2021
Episode #004 - Uncut Pens
On this episode, we talk about Jared making us fight each other, our uncut pens, Mike's baldness and Tony Soprano recruits Hulk Hogan into the family. Enjoy!
Feb 22, 2021
Episode #003 - "Did You Just Assault Me?"
On this episode, Michael and Danny talk about Karens, first dates, how cheap Mike is and much much more! Enjoy!
Feb 15, 2021
Episode #002 - La Cooka Ratcha
On this episode, Michael & Danny discuss their Vine fame, their impact on social media history, Michael's fight with a monstrous cockroach & and smash each other in the face with snowballs, Enjoy! 
Feb 08, 2021
Episode #001: "Jizzadoo"
The first episode of "The LoPriore Podcast" is finally HERE! Join Michael & Danny on their quest to fulfill all of your podcast fantasies! On this episode, they talk about beating it in a house full of people, making out with girls with no teeth, professional wrestling and of course getting beat by their parents! Enjoy & Than
Jan 27, 2021