Pillow Talks

By Vanessa & Xander Marin

Listen to a podcast, please open Podcast Republic app. Available on Google Play Store.


Category: Sexuality

Open in Apple Podcasts


Open RSS feed


Open Website


Rate for this podcast

Subscribers: 40
Reviews: 1


 Jun 11, 2021

Description

Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!

Episode Date
Episode 27: Your In-Law Holiday Survival Guide
51:35

In-laws are tricky. Holidays are tricky. Put them together and you've got some truly stressful situations. In this episode we are once again going 'advice column-style' to help some of our audience members sort out their frustrations. We're talking a lot about boundaries and communication, and even if you have typically stress-free holidays, this episode is definitely entertaining.

Nov 24, 2021
Episode 26: Are You Good In Bed?
46:55

We turned to our Instagram audience @vanessamarintherapy to ask them "what makes someone good in bed?" and they DELIVERED. They also opened up on telling us what makes someone bad in bed. Do you really know what actually makes sex good? Listen to find out some major themes we noticed. We'll unpack our findings and give you practical advice to sharpen your skills in the bedroom.

Check out the Show Notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode26

Nov 18, 2021
Episode 25: Are You Too Needy?
40:34

When you hear the word 'needy', it's probably the last thing you would ever want to be described as; being needy is so steeped in shame! Today we're going to talk about what neediness is - and what it isn't - and some genuinely helpful tools for addressing neediness.

Check out the show notes here: vmtherapy.com/episode25

Nov 11, 2021
Episode 24: Butt Stuff: The Sequel
43:10

The follow up to episode 23: Butt Stuff (if you haven't listened to that episode yet, go ahead and check it out)! Today we're talking about how to actually do butt stuff — step by step — as well as what not to do.

Check out the show notes here: https://bit.ly/3BHpDeM

Nov 04, 2021
Episode 23: Butt Stuff!
42:10

This is the first of two episodes about butt stuff, and it's your primer episode! What makes anal play so great anyway and why are people so intimidated by it? Well, we're answering those questions and talking about how to break through some of the objections surrounding this topic. Next week we'll talk about the mechanics of how to actually try anal play and anal sex.

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode23

Oct 28, 2021
Episode 22: How To Not Pass Sexual Shame On To Your Kids
53:05

In this episode, we're talking about how to cut through the shame, awkwardness and embarrassment that we've been taught to have when talking about sex; specifically when it comes to talking to your kids.

Check out this week's show notes: https://vmtherapy.com/episode22

We also talk about some resources that you can check out on this topic:

Episode 8: Has Purity Culture Harmed Your Sex Life? How To Overcome Religious Shame

YouTube Video — The Ultimate Guide to Talk to Your Kids About Sex

Oct 21, 2021
Episode 21: Cowgirls And Doggies And [Redacted], Oh My! Your Guide To Trying New Sex Positions
40:16

Trying new sex positions is a really fun way to spice up your sex life, but it can feel super intimidating to even get started when you're already in a comfortable routine.

In today's episode, we are addressing your concerns and helping you gain the confidence to dive right in and add to your repertoire!

Check Out The Show Notes: https://vmtherapy.com/episode21

Pick up your copy of the Sex Position Playbook!

Oct 14, 2021
Episode 20: Should We Break Up?
46:30

How do you know if or when to end a relationship?

To see if we could help answer that question, we reached out to our Instagram community for story submissions and were overwhelmed with the number of responses from people wondering whether to continue or end their relationships. These submissions cover everything from not getting 'butterflies' anymore to feeling "emotionally starved". Today, we'll be sharing some of the stories we received, walking you through these nuanced and complex situations, and offering our best advice for how to move forward.

Check out this week's show notes: https://vmtherapy.com/episode20

Links and Resources mentioned in this episode:

Free Guide: The Golden Rules of Communication Podcast: How To Navigate Different Political, Social, and Religious Beliefs In Dating And Relationships

Oct 07, 2021
Episode 19: How To Have Amazing Sex With A Brand New Partner
55:05

Awkward, fun, nerve-wracking, and exciting: all words that our community used to describe first-time sex with a new partner. There can be a lot of high expectations and common misconceptions about first times, so today we're going to be helping you navigate the waters of getting it on with someone new.

Even if you're in a long term relationship, there are tips on communicating with your partner about sex. And of course, we had to share the embarrassing details about our first time!

Check out this week's show notes at: https://vmtherapy.com/episode19

Sep 30, 2021
Episode 18: How To Get That New Relationship Energy Back
49:59

We all want to feel wanted.

That's why we're talking about something that can totally change your relationship for the better, and it's something you've already done..."dating" your partner!

We've heard from our community (and this is something we as a couple have gone through as well) that when you've been together for years, even decades, you can go through phases where you feel more like roommates than romantic partners. Maybe you have kids and you know you're on the same team, but romance has taken a back seat to parenting and just life in general. Whatever the case may be, we're excited to talk about the role desire can play in your relationship and how - yes - you can reignite that spark from the 'old days'.

Sep 23, 2021
Episode 17: How To Allow Yourself To Receive In The Bedroom
44:57

In order to enjoy sex, we have to receive. Whether it's time, attention, love, or energy, there are so many aspects of great sex are tied into receiving. Your ability to receive can affect many things, like your ability to be present in the moment, feel pleasure, be emotionally connected to a partner, and especially to orgasm!

In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander talk about how you can get more comfortable with the idea of receiving in the bedroom.

Sep 16, 2021
Episode 16: No, Your Partner Didn't Make You Feel That Way - Your Feelings Are Your Responsibility
49:18

Feelings. Is there anything that makes you feel more uncomfortable? It's hard enough to process your own feelings, so when your partner does something that brings up big feelings for you, it's so easy to blame them for the way you feel.

But the unfortunate reality is we can't actually blame other people for how we're feeling!

In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander discuss why our feelings are our own responsibility, and give their best tips for navigating challenging emotions.

Sep 09, 2021
Episode 15: The Secret To Feeling More Pleasure In The Bedroom
44:30

Have you ever found yourself thinking, "Sex just feels so blah. I don't get what the fuss is all about"? This is one of the most common complaints we hear from women! So many women want to FEEL MORE in the bedroom, but they just don't know how.

In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander unpack why the key to feeling more pleasure in the bedroom is to start with masturbation.

Sep 02, 2021
Episode 14: How To Navigate Different Political, Social, And Religious Beliefs In Dating And Relationships
50:39

Politics, religion and social issues are already such divisive topics, so what happens when you disagree about them in a relationship?

Should differing beliefs be deal breakers? Are they enough to end a relationship over?

In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander tackle these thorny questions!

Aug 26, 2021
Episode 13: How To Handle Rejection When Your Partner Says No To Sex
51:03

Anytime you ask for something you want, it’s a vulnerable experience. You're putting yourself out there, and in the position to be turned down. Which is why initiating sex is one of the most vulnerable things we do in our relationships.

In today's episode we are talking all about how to deal with sexual rejection, so you and your partner can feel way more confident initiating with one another.

Aug 19, 2021
Episode 12: How To Let Your Partner Love Your Body - Even If You Don't
46:14

Body confidence is something that affects everyone, whether it's an occasional thing or a daily struggle. Usually we think of it as a personal issue - feeling self conscious, or having critical and judgmental thoughts towards ourselves.

But there's another aspect to body confidence that actually has a huge impact on how we show up in our sex lives and relationships: our ability to let our partner love our body.

In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander discuss how to let your partner love your body and share their best tips for receiving and accepting compliments from your partner.

For full show notes: https://vmtherapy.com/episode12

Aug 12, 2021
Episode 11: How Vanessa Turned Her Orgasm Struggles Into A Sex Therapy Business!
59:13

When you hear the words “Sex Therapist”, you probably think of someone who knows exactly what they want and how to get it in the bedroom, right?

So what happens when an aspiring sex therapist is struggling with her orgasm?

In this interview-style podcast, Vanessa tells her own personal orgasm journey, and how it inspired her to start a business teaching thousands of women how to orgasm.

For full show notes: https://vmtherapy.com/episode11

 
Aug 05, 2021
Episode 10: Communication Breakdowns: We Coach Real Couples Through Their Worst Fights So You Can Get Better At Yours
43:20

Good communication is really hard. 


We'll be the first to admit that in the heat of the moment it can be really tough to validate your partner's experience, use clear and empathic language, and also ask for your needs to be met.

We make a living teaching couples how to have good communication and we STILL struggle with this.

So in this episode, we're roleplaying some of our listener-submitted arguments, and breaking down their communication breakdowns.

Jul 29, 2021
Episode 9: How Often Is Everyone REALLY Having Sex? And What's Healthy For Your Relationship?
49:39

Everyone wants to know what the magic amount of sex is to keep their relationship healthy. So many of us think that if we hit a certain quota, it means out relationship is successful.

So we decided to do a little experiment to see what the sex lives of our followers really look like. We created a sexual frequency and satisfaction survey, and we've now had 12,000 people respond!

Jul 22, 2021
Episode 8: Has Purity Culture Harmed Your Sex Life? How To Overcome Religious Shame
56:59

Did you grow up in Purity Culture?

Purity Culture teaches that it's important to wait until marriage to have sex, because people who wait are more pure, wholesome, and desirable.

It also has a lot to say about dressing modestly (especially for girls), pleasure being sinful, & masturbation being evil.

In this week's episode, we're breaking down the effects Purity Culture can have on your sex life- and what you can do to counteract it.

For full show notes: https://vmtherapy.com/episode8

Jul 15, 2021
Episode 7: What Makes a Great Kiss? And What to Do if You Don’t Like the Way Your Partner Kisses
01:00:27

When was the last time you had a truly amazing kiss?

The sad reality is that most couples just don't really kiss anymore!

A lot of us, if we're really honest with ourselves, feel a little insecure about our kissing technique.

And if we're even more brutally honest, a lot of us don't really like the way our partner kisses.

There's a lot of sex advice out there about oral sex technique and sex positions, but you rarely hear discussions of kissing technique.

In this episode we're back to basics and talking all things kissing.

For full show notes: https://vmtherapy.com/episode7

Jul 08, 2021
Episode 6: This Is Why Your partner Won't Work On Your Relationship With You - And How To Finally Get Them To!
53:00

Do you think that relationships should be effortless? Or that having to work on your relationship means there's something wrong?

 

Or does your partner think these things?

 

A lot of people think that they should only need to put effort into their relationship to solve serious problems. Or they wait until things are bad to start putting in effort.

 

But your relationship CAN NOT survive without effort.

 

In this episode, we reframe work in a completely different - and much more helpful, effective, and fun! - way.

 

For full show notes: https://vmtherapy.com/episode6

Jul 01, 2021
Episode 5: How to “Let Go” During Sex
47:52

What’s keeping you from letting go in the bedroom?

 

People we polled said that body image, kids, and to-do lists all contributed to having a difficult time staying present during sex.

 

People tend to feel that “letting go” is the main thing that could make sex better and more pleasurable. But for many of us, just letting go is a lot harder than it sounds!

 

In this episode, we talk about what “letting go” during sex could look like, and whether that’s actually something we should be striving for in the bedroom.


For full show notes, head over to www.vmtherapy.com/episode5

Jun 24, 2021
Episode 4: Mental Load: What It Is and How to Stop It from Destroying Your Relationship
01:04:33

Do you secretly keep score of who does what in your relationship? 

 

Do you feel like your partner gets to be carefree and happy while you’re stressed out trying to hold it all together?

 

In today's episode, we talk about one of the most popular topics we’ve ever talked about: mental load.

 

If you’ve never heard the term before, mental load refers to the invisible mental burden of keeping track of household and family needs. 

 

Seriously, people go bananas whenever we talk about mental load, so this is an episode you don’t want to miss!

 

Get full show notes and resources mentioned in this episode here: www.vmtherapy.com/episode4

 

 

GIVEAWAY ALERT!

If you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts before June 20, we'll enter your name into a drawing to win any one of our courses for free! That’s up to a $1,000 value! 

 

(Just make sure to take a screenshot of your review and DM it to us at @vanessamarintherapy. Apple doesn’t like to show every review, so we want to make sure you get added to the giveaway.)

 

Thank you in advance for taking the time to leave us a quick review!

 

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!




Jun 17, 2021
Episode 3: Should Sex Happen Naturally?
39:23

Should sex happen naturally?

This is one of the most common questions we get asked, and it can cause some serious tension in relationships. You may want to work on improving your sex life or making changes, but your partner refuses because they think it should just happen naturally. 

In this episode, we're going to uncover the truth about how sex really works in a long-term relationship. We think you’re going to be pretty surprised...

Get full show notes and resources mentioned in this episode here: www.vmtherapy.com/episode3

 

GIVEAWAY ALERT!

If you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts before June 20 and we'll enter your name into a drawing to win any one of our courses for free! That’s up to a $1,000 value! 

(Just make sure to take a screenshot of your review and DM it to us at @vanessamarintherapy. Apple doesn’t like to show every review, so we want to make sure you get added to the giveaway.)

Thank you in advance for taking the time to leave us a quick review!

 

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

Jun 10, 2021
Episode 2: Can You Actually Solve Problems In Your Relationship?
50:38

Has this phrase ever been uttered in your home: “We’ve talked about this a million times before”?

So many of the arguments we get into with our partners are different versions of the same argument we've already had. And it can feel exhausting and demoralizing to keep having the same conflict over and over. 

In today’s episode, we’re introducing you to the concept of unresolvable conflict. According to research, 69% of conflicts in long-term relationships are unresolvable.

What does that even mean? And what are you supposed to do if you can’t resolve a conflict? Tune in to find out!

Get full show notes and resources mentioned in this episode here: www.vmtherapy.com/episode2

 

GIVEAWAY ALERT!

If you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts before June 20 and we'll enter your name into a drawing to win any one of our courses for free! That’s up to a $1,000 value! 

(Just make sure to take a screenshot of your review and DM it to us at @vanessamarintherapy. Apple doesn’t like to show every review, so we want to make sure you get added to the giveaway.)

Thank you in advance for taking the time to leave us a quick review!

 

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

Jun 10, 2021
Episode 1: The Secret To Hot Sex? Talking About It!
36:49

How comfortable are you talking about sex with your partner? If you’re like most people, your face is already bright red! You need to be able to talk about sex if you want to have an extraordinary sex life.

So to kick off the Pillow Talks podcast, we’ve got your back with a step-by-step process for talking about sex in your relationship - even if you never have before. 

In this episode, we’ll walk you through five steps you need to take to get comfortable talking about sex. We’ll share funny stories of our own communication mishaps, and give you the courage to open up! 

Get full show notes and resources mentioned in this episode here: www.vmtherapy.com/episode1

 

GIVEAWAY ALERT!

If you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts before June 20 and we'll enter your name into a drawing to win any one of our courses for free! That’s up to a $1,000 value! 

(Just make sure to take a screenshot of your review and DM it to us at @vanessamarintherapy. Apple doesn’t like to show every review, so we want to make sure you get added to the giveaway.)

Thank you in advance for taking the time to leave us a quick review!

 

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!



Jun 10, 2021
Welcome to the Pillow Talks Podcast with Vanessa + Xander
03:37

Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!

Whether you’re looking to learn how to orgasm, skyrocket your confidence, or rekindle the spark with your partner, Vanessa & Xander can help you identify and overcome your blockages around, and learn how to have more fun in the bedroom. Head over to vmtherapy.com

May 25, 2021