Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

By Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

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There is so much great and life-changing information about sex and intimacy, but let’s face it, it can be dry as hell! Intimacy expert and sexologist Shan Boodram takes a deep dive into anything and everything about sex, relationships, and the science of attachment every week with expert guests and friends who will tell all. It’s everything The Talk should be.

Episode Date
65: Becky G Opens Up About Being Sick and Sick and Tired of Hating Herself
Becky G is an award-winning, chart topping, international superstar who has always been grateful for her life, but at one point, hated herself and the experience of being alive.

In order to get out of that dark place and to get the clarity she needed to heal she knew she needed a superhero, but what she didn’t know is “that hero” would ultimately need to be herself. In this episode Becky G candidly shares how learning to love herself, advocate for her needs and set boundaries has opened up a world of abundance, power, and arguably most importantly, self compassion. 

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You can still watch old episodes of Becky’s Facebook Watch Show: Face to Face with Becky G


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Mar 15, 2023
64: I'm a Grown Ass Woman Woman Without Any Friends... feat. Krista from Almost 30
Does making friends get harder as you get older?  How the hell do I make friends?

According to the American Perspective Survey, May 2021,  a lot of people are not  satisfied with the size of their friendship group. About half of Americans (51 percent) report they are very satisfied or completely satisfied with the number of friends they have. 30 percent say they are only somewhat satisfied, and 17 percent say they are not too or not at all satisfied with the number of friends they have.

If you fall in that range of little to no satisfaction in friendships, here’s what you need to know about creating a bond. 

So how long does it take to make a new friend?
-50 hours of time before you consider them a casual friend 
- 90 hours before becoming real friends 
- 200hours- before becoming close friends 
- source: 'Journal of Social and Personal Relationships' 

As the New York Times reported in 2012, there are “three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other.” Cultivating emotionally intimate relationships, in other words, takes more work than just compliments.

In this episode I sit down with my friends Krista and Tabia and we talk about our friendships, the ups, downs and the work it takes to make them work. 

A special thank you to Kamil Lewis, LMFT and Danielle Byard-Jacskon, Bumble Friendship Expert for lending their expertise on forming friendships. 

Thanks to the sponsors of this episode. 


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Mar 08, 2023
63: Sex: Your Steamy Questions with My Husband
In this episode, I am answering 10 questions submitted by YOU, allll about sex! 

I am looking forward to making more Q+A episodes, so feel free to submit your questions around sex, love and dating. 

Huge thank you to the sponsors of this episode Ritual 

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Mar 01, 2023
62: It Could've Worked Out But... ft. Lauren Jauregui on Breaking Up with Ty Dolla $ign
Lauren Jauregui talks about breaking things off with Ty Dolla Sign, writing Always Love, holistically healing and then finding real love again with another woman.

Lauren Jauregui rose to prominence as a member of the girl group Fifth Harmony, which became one of the best- selling girl groups of all time.

Since then, she has gone on to release her solo projects “Expectations” and “Prelude.” Lauren has also collaborated with Steve Aoiki, Halsey, Tainy (Tiny), and Ty-Dolla Sign whom she publicly dated for about 2 years. 

Her hit, Always Love, pays homage to the end of her relationship with Ty and in this episode we get under the covers of that song to discuss the reason for the split, the lessons from that love lost and the discoveries she's made about who she is and what she needs since.

Follow @Laurenjauregui on all social media platforms

If you are an international listener, catch her on tour starting in March
Listen to “Always Love” the single and her project “Prelude” which are out now

Thank you to the sponsors of this episode

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Feb 22, 2023
61: When Your Soulmate Becomes Your Ex
In this episode, I talk about the 10 soulmates we may encounter over the span of our lives. Thanks for being patient with me this week on this episode. Promise to do better!

Here are the 10 types of soulmates.

The Stranger Soul Mate - unrequited love is still love. We needed them, we loved them, we were certain we were destined to marry them and they barely remember our last name.

The black hole Soul Mate -  the person that we lost ourselves and our sensibilities to (usually our first requited soul mate experience)

The Almost doesn’t count Soul Mate - the person who checked all the boxes but couldn’t light your fire (or vice versa)

The Only If They… Soul Mate

The Stay with you Forever but Stay Away From Me Forever Soul Mate - the person you’ll never truly be over even though it’s definitely over

The one that got away - the good guy/ girl who you blew it with and now they’re happy with someone else

The Rip Tide Soulmate - the relationship that preys on your needs, insecurities, weakness’ and fears.

The prototype Soulmate - the person you are so sure is your one but upon further inspection you realize is just a beautiful imposter who taught you what you really needed to know about what you need out of love

The Muse Soulmate - the person who’s meant to teach you about love/ connection, but not give it to you (usually a crush you never get a shot with)

The Love of my Life soulmate- the relationship that allows you to be your best self and love at a higher frequency. A love marked by self insight, happiness, individual growth and true mutuality.

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Feb 18, 2023
60: I Thought I Was Straight Until I Met You Feat Kiana Lede
Have you ever found yourself attracted to someone of the same sex? How do you navigate re-orienting or re-navigating your sexual orientation after a queer experience? 

That is exactly what we are breaking down in this episode. Our starring guest is singer, songwriter Kiana Lede. 

Kiana is an Arizona born actress, singer and songwriter who burst into the scene with her Youtube series dubbed “Soulfood Sessions”. Her cover of Hotline bling went viral in 2016.

Since then Kiana has released 2 Studio EPs, over a dozen singles, and a 17 track debut album which debuted at #30 on the Billboard 200 in 2020. Her music has featured artists like Offset, Ari Lennox and BLACK. 

Her music has a way of laying out sexual exploration and liberation, 
Her latest project, a mixtape titled “unfinished” pays tribute to her late friend Azuma.

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Feb 08, 2023
59: Celibutt...Good Lord It's Hard Ft Stephan Speaks
Celibacy, abstinence, sex strike, sexlessness, dry spell ….call it what you may but we can all agree is challenging. 

This week we are joined by Stephan Speaks- one of the most popular voices in the relationship education space. Stephan has devoted himself to a life of celibacy on more than one occasion: first run with the intention to connect with God, second to connect with his God-given purpose and now he finds himself conflicted between looking for the clarity that celibacy seemed to give him before and longing for the intimacy he desires as a healthy, single, eligible bachelor. 

Thanks to the sponsors of this episode. Dipsea!
Whether you want to energize your sex life for yourself, a lover or so you can channel that energy elsewhere, try tuning into Dipsea because listeners of Lovers and Friends, get a 30 day free trial!

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Links to episode clips that were featured in this episode.

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Feb 01, 2023
58: If You're Single, You Have to Listen to This Feat Glo Atanmo
On your journey to find and keep love (if this is your wish) have you ever felt like maybe you are meant to stay single forever?

That is how this week’s guest, Glo Atanmo aka Glo Graphics on IG felt throughout most of her life. She was used to not being any man's first choice only to later date 12 quality men at once. Then in 2022, she embarked on her pursuit of finding her forever love.  She is now openly sharing her love story with her millions of followers online. 

In this episode, she breaks down what the journey looked like and how she pursued an intentional dating season that led her to her lover.

Research article by Lachlan Brown for HackSpirit called “I can’t find love”. - 20 things to remember if you feel this is you”. 

  1. You’re not really looking
  2. You’re list of wants in a partner is too long
  3. You’re in the wrong place
  4. You believe too much in soul mates and destiny
  5. You’re still not over your ex (intimate idealization)
  6. You don’t know what people want from you/ you don’t want to give it
  7. You have unresolved childhood issues
  8. You feel like you unconditionally deserve love
  9. You try way too hard
  10. You’re not being your true self
  11. You don’t know how to play the game
  12. You take dating for granted (entitlement issues)
  13. You sabotage relationships
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Jan 25, 2023
57: The Surprising Highs and Lows of Sex and Love(?) Under the Influence feat. Sarah Levy
Are drinking games for lovers or losers? Does alcohol make sex better and wetter or dryer and dimmer? 

A study by Kathryn Lakeland of Femfresh found that 75 per cent of women said they liked to drink before getting into bed with their husband or boyfriend. In this episode we ask those in the 75 per cent to examine if this is a powerful or limiting decision.

Many share that alcohol makes them feel confident, flirty and powerful, but also less aware, less excited and more prone to regrettable decisions. 

My guest on this episode, ‘Drinking Games’ Author,  Sarah Levy once described being drunk on dates as a mandatory activity that made her feel like she had warm honey in her veins. Now, she is 5 years sober and ready to tell the world why. 

In this episode, I am also joined by licensed therapist Erica Lubetkin who specializes in anxiety and addiction. Erica breaks down how alcohol can momentarily spike dopamine in your system, but the lasting effects are not so good. 

This podcast is intended to spark hard-to-have conversations in your romantic and sexual life that lead to powerful shifts. I genuinely believe this episode delivers on that promise because we are talking about some powerful shit - alcohol. 

Thanks to the sponsor of this episode, Better Help! 
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Jan 18, 2023
56: Dangerously in Love feat. Nick Viall
This week's question is : What does it mean to be safe in a relationship? Safety in a relationship looks different for everyone. 

Our starring guest this week Nick Viall and I talked about a lot, but underneath it, I think this is the core of it… 1) How love hasn’t been safe in the past and 2) how he’s redefining safety within in his new relationship: one that has external threats in the form of public opinion because that’s what fortunately unfortunately happens when two people attempt to share one life"

And now Nick is redefining what safety in a relationship means to him. Which leads to asking you “What does romantic safety mean to you?” “Any aha moments after listening to this episode?”

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Jan 11, 2023
55: The Butt Plug Story that Summarized 2022 + 20 Other Questions to Ground Your Year
Who did you become last year? What is something you could not do last year that you want to be able to do by year's end? Shan Boodram shares how 2022 - the most transformative, miserable, lucrative and full year of her life - is grounding her 2023 with these twenty questions in mind.

  1. Who did you become?

  2. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

  3. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

  4. What is one change you made that improved the quality of your life?

  5. What was an unexpected obstacle?

  6. What  can you give yourself credit for this year?

  7. Were you dishonest with yourself or others last year?

  8. What’s your most memorable story

  9. What were the best books you read this year?

  10. Who poured into you this year, who do you want to thank?

  11. What’s something you couldn’t do a year ago that you can do today?

  12. What’s something you want to be able to say you can do a year from now that you can’t do yet?

  13. What promise do you keep breaking to yourself?

  14. What promise will you make to yourself this year?

  15. What was the most enjoyable part of your work?

  16. What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

  17. What was the best way you used your time this past year?

  18. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

  19.  What one word or intention do you hope will define your 2023?

  20. What was biggest thing you learned this past year?

  21.  What would you do this next year if you knew you could not fail?

Thank you to our sponsor Hello Fresh!

There is a reason why Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit and you can find out for yourself with this incredible offer! 

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One more time, incase you need that to sink in... 

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Jan 05, 2023
54: Good Sex because of My Best Friend feat. Good Moms Bad Choices
What happens when you combine love, sex, magic and best friends? In this episode Shan sits down with Erica and Milah, hosts of Good Moms, Bad Choices and together they unravel the goddess experience. What does that look like? How did it happen and most of all…. did it bring them closer as best friends?

This episode touches on the importance of platonic intimacy and how through bearing it all with your bestie: the real, the rare, the repulsive and the riveting - can actually make for a natural progression to experiencing and enhancing each other sexually in a VERY explicit, but still VERY plutonic way. This is an episode about how our friends can play an incredibly enriching role in our sex lives and moreover in other creative facets of our being. 

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Dec 14, 2022
53: Yes, I was the Villain in My Relationship feat. Jessie Reyez
Singer, songwriter Jessie Reyes candidly opens up about how on her quest for love, she recently played the role of the “bad guy”. For many, especially women, this is something that can be very hard to admit. 
Jessie Reyez reflects on how she f***** up, how she tried to right her wrong, how she coped when her apology to her ex wasn’t enough, and what insight she gained from this experience. 

Jessie Reyez is a Toronto born singer and songwriter who burst into the scene in 2016 with her platinum single Figures. In 2020, Jessie received her first Grammy nomination for Urban Contemporary Album. 

She is admired internationally and has amassed millions of followers and is currently embarking on a national sold out tour. Jessie has collaborated with artists like Eminem, 6lack, and Kehlani. She has also written songs for Calvin Harris, Dua Lipa and Normani. Her new album Yessie, is out NOW.

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Please help us in showing love to our incredible sponsors by clicking these links to learn more. 

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Dec 07, 2022
52: If You Really Knew Me, You’d Leave Me feat. Steelo Brim
Steelo Brim shares how the culture of toxic masculinity where men are encouraged not to go deep with themselves, almost destroyed his chances at real love both with himself and with women. He also talks about how he and his longtime girlfriend alahna jade chose to break out of the monogamy-one-size-fits-all box in order to create a healthy relationship on their terms and Steelo shares why his last relationship with fiance Conna Walker did not work. 

Sterling Brim better known as Steelo is a comedian, podcast host, actor, TV host, producer and musician. You may recognize him from hosting MTV’s show titled Ridiculousness. 

Steelo is a host on his weekly podcast called “Wine and Weed” where he and his co host- unpack current events and pop culture.

Steelo unpacks what he needed to let go of and lean into in order to create the love he needed in his life.

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Nov 30, 2022
51: I'm Concerned About Our Love After Kids Ft. Jared Brady
 In this episode, I sit down with my lover, my partner, my baby daddy, my everything,  Jared. This conversation gets really real. We love our kids but do we still like our life? Do we still like each other?

This time in Colombia with my family has sprung up a lot of 'aha' moments: some good and others not so good. 

Life after kids is unpredictable and it can sometimes feel like that spark is lost. Which takes me to asking him an important question that to be honest made me nervous. 

"Are you happy?"

It gets raw, real and made me realize what I need to do more of..

HUGE thank you to the sponsor of this episode, Hello Fresh. There’s a reason why it’s America’s #1 Meal Kit. Fresh and delicious food delivered right to your door with perfectly proportioned ingredients. 

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Nov 16, 2022
50: Go to Therapy or We're Over Ft. David So
When was the last time your significant other gave you an ultimatum? When was the last time you gave them an ultimatum?

In this episode, Shan sits down with Comedian, Actor, and Filmmaker, David So. He breaks down what led him to this breaking point and ultimately how this ultimatum impacted their relationship.... for better or worse?

Thanks to the sponsor of this episode ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a FREE app that shows you doctors who are patient-reviewed, take your insurance and are available when you need them.

With ZocDoc, you can see real, verified patient reviews to help you find the right doctor in your network and your neighborhood.

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It is as easy as search, find and book an appointment, in person or remotely, that works for your schedule. Again, go to to try it out for yourself!

Thanks to the sponsor of this episode, Apostrophe. Post pregnancy, my melasma was a real struggle. A few weeks ago it was visible in the middle of my forehead, above my eyebrows and my fav, above my lip but last week my MUA was getting me ready, he actually said the melasma was fading. Thanks to the Apostrophe team, I  found a safe treatment for me plus a sunscreen for prevention. It came in a cute box with easy instructions and bonus, some funky stickers. Try it out!

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Nov 11, 2022
49: This is What Happens When a Single Woman Turns 30, feat Kamie Crawford.
How many times have you romanticized your life and where you THOUGHT you’d be by a certain age. For many of us, by 30 we imagine ourselves to be wifed up and thriving in a career. 

In this episode, I sit down with Kamie Crawford, the host of MTV’s Catfish and former Miss Teen USA. Kamie is also the host of her very own Podcast called Relationshit. Kamie is the epitome of 30, flirty and thriving! 

Last time Kamie was on the podcast, we broke down the lows and hell nos that led to her breakup and now, we are breaking down what she is leaving behind in her 20s and what she is welcoming in her 30s, including... a new love. 

Thanks to the sponsors of this episode Better Help! For 10% off go to 

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Nov 02, 2022
48: Longterm - Sex Is Hard (NO pun intended..or maybe it is) feat. Kev On Stage and Mrs Kev On Stage
Does sex HAVE to get less passionate as time goes on in a relationship? Is it possible to keep that “can’t keep your hands off each other” feeling in a marriage? In this episode we explore these questions and share the depressing/ hopeful truth about the secret to good sex in a long relationship. 


Fun fact, falling in love is stressful on the body, but being in love is healthy for the body. When we are falling in love we experience an increase in cortisol, the stress hormone, but studies show that when we develop an attachment to someone oxytocin can actually work to inhibit cortisol production and stress response. That’s why researchers say that true love probably begins when the hormonal cocktail stops working. 

So long story short maybe the loss of passion in our sex life as we know it, is not such a bad thing

Meet the guests of this episode!!!

Kevin Fredericks aka KevOn Stage is an actor, stand-up comedian, entrepreneur, podcast developer and host and filmmaker. Kevin is part of a generation of comedians who gained fame online and has accumulated hundreds of millions of views on social media. He is currently on his 3rd SOLD OUT national comedy tour and he is a New York Times bestselling author with his book Marriage Be Hard that he co-authored with his wife Melissa Fredericks who you might know on the internets as Mrs Kevon Stage.
Melissa hosts The Love Hour podcast and is best known for her betterment campaigns and advocacy for self-love. 
Together, Kevin and Melissa provide a hilarious and fresh master class on what it takes to build and maintain a healthy and lasting relationship.

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Oct 27, 2022
47: Dating in Your Twenties (is) For Dummies FT. Harry Jowsey and Georgia Hassarati
Dating in your 20s is a lot like being given free range with paint as a toddler. Things can be fun but can get messy really quick. But the beauty is, you're young and have time to clean the mess up. In this episode, that is exactly what we are getting into.  

Harry Jowsey and Georgia Hassarati - two on again off again, mid twenties, love birds in the midst of what we just described.

Harry, Georgia and myself all met on the Netflix show that I’ve worked on as a sex expert for several seasons, Too Hot to Handle. Harry was a retreat attendee on season one and Georgia, on season three. They met because Harry asked Georgia to be a guest on his podcast, Tap in with Harry Jowsey.

Harry and Georgia share a lot of the same things in common: background, career aspirations, sense of humor and the desire for real love in their 20s. They start hanging out, yada yada yada, they fall in love, have a few incredible rom-com-esque months together before things got a little TOO real… too heavy for Harry who then decides to call things off. But in classic-twenty-something-style our boy Harry made another big call a few weeks after that.

And that’s where they are today… And if you’re not really clear where that “at” is, don’t worry, neither are they… and that’s kinda the beauty of trying to do the love thing in your twenties…right? 

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Oct 20, 2022
46: Sacred Sex For People Who Don't Believe Featuring Tanerélle
Shan sits down with artist Tanerelle to explore all about sacred sexuality and intimacy. 

Sacred sexuality is an entirely different way to connect with your partner. It involves delicacy, hugs, caresses and even at times no touching while holding space for meditation. 
All this deep work, leads to deep release which can include more powerful orgasms to longer-lasting, non-ejaculatory, and multiple orgasms for men and numerous types of orgasms for women.

Thanks to our sponsor for this episode, Apostrophe!

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Oct 12, 2022
45: I Don't Sleep with Women, But I Do Have Sex with Them feat. Sincere Show
Sincere Show, best known as Jason Derulo's DJ and a former castmate of Love and Hip Hop, came to this podcast to discuss non-monogamy and why his life of abundance has informed his decision to seek out an open relationship. However, the interview went much deeper and wider covering topics like fear of abandonment, sexual trauma, power dynamics and harmful tropes. 

This episode poses thought starters such as: What does it look like to be healed? Can you know what you want without knowing yourself without the baggage of trauma? How much space should we make for hurt people who hurt people? When are boundaries unhelpful brick walls? Should we prioritize or drive for sex or safety?

Thank you to the sponsor of this episode HelloFresh

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Oct 06, 2022
He's a cheating, code-less mother fucker feat. Tefi Pessoa
Shan Boodram delves into the taboo and hot topic that is cheating: are there ways to predict if your partner will cheat? Are there early warning signs?

Recently two huge celebrity cheating scandals broke out- Adam Levine’s alleged affair and Nia Long’s fiancee, Ime Udoka’s affair. Often when we think of someone being cheated on, we cast an archetype - But in this case the people who’ve been cheated on don’t fit the script at all!

On this episode, Shan talks to Estefania Pessoa better know as Tefi on Tiktok, who provided an unexpected take on cheating. Tefi breaks down how  your code shapes your decisions, character, morals and therefore if you're likely going to be a cheater. 

But there was another take on how to spot a cheater, that I found very fascinating. Estefania Pessoa better known as Tefi on TikTok spoke about code. Tefi explained how code is your character, your morals, and how this code will impact the decisions you make. Decisions that will not only affect you, but those that you love. 

Shan also sits down with  Dr. Barry Goldstein, a clinical psychologist who enlightens us on what to look out for to get a leg up on those who can’t keep their legs closed. 

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Sep 29, 2022
Tall, Dark, Handsome and Sexually Insecure feat. Mike Johnson
Is my dick too small? Do they notice my man boobs? Does she think I just want sex? Are my legs too skinny? Am I strong enough to do any position she desires? Is this a safe space for my trauma?

These are things that the men in this episode have said and I really hope you take the time to listen. Mike Johnson, an Air Force Vet and certified sex coach,  best known for being on ABC's The Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise, opens up about his struggle with performance anxiety. Performance anxiety happens when you feel stress about your body image or your ability to please your partner. And sex coach Alex Grendi talks about what men really need to get and stay hard PLUS the importance of men being vulnerable.  

What should someone say when their partner can’t get hard? What are men most insecure about? Let’s discuss

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Sep 21, 2022
Do We Believe Her? ft. Abby De La Rosa + Submissive Women Episode Response
Nick Canon's third baby mama Abby De La Rosa says she is happy with Nick as her primary partner in their very open relationship. Do you believe her? Let's examine why or why not..."Believe women" is an American political slogan arising out of the #MeToo movement that refers to accepting women's allegations of sexual harassment or sexual assault at face value. BUT does it have limitations? Do we also believe women when they say that they're happy in romantic relationships...even if they're involved in dynamics that we don't think would work for us?

Abby challenges us to see beyond our biases AND hold both of her contrasting truths about her love life. Also in this episode LMFT Mayana Geathers shares her professional opinion on believing women claiming to be happy in unbelievable arrangements.

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Sep 14, 2022
Giving Birth, Saying Bye to My Husband and Discovering Who TF I Am

And despite my husband not being there, it was an incredible experience that taught me so much. In this episode I share my top three epiphanies, the reason why the father not being there was the best choice for our family and what this all means for this podcast going forward.


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Aug 23, 2022
My Nightmare Living With A Pregnant Woman - Jared Brady Takeover!

In todays Episode Jared takes over the podcast because Shan is full term and needs a break. Jared opens up about the struggles of living with a pregnant woman. It gets raw, real and unfiltered. If you have been pregnant before or lived with a pregnant women before can you relate! 

Note from Shan: This is a unique episode of Lovers and Friends and also apart of a small series I'm going to make surrounding preparing my life for our second blessing, our second (yet to be named) daughter. Regularly scheduled program will be back in late August!



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Aug 02, 2022
I'm Ready to Give Birth and I'm Still Not...Excited. What Now? feat. Shanola Hampton

I'm 38 weeks pregnant and terrified that I still feel so negatively about my current life and the idea of life with two babies under in this episode I unpack these very ugly feelings with some beautiful souls: actor Shanola Hampton (mother of two) and performance coach Lauren Morrison (mother of two). With them I ask the million dollar questions: what happens when the way you know you're supposed to feel, has little resemblance to your reality? And more frighteningly... What if that never changes?


This is a unique episode of Lovers and Friends and also apart of a small series I'm going to make surrounding preparing my life for our second blessing, our second (yet to be named) daughter. Regularly scheduled program will be back in late August!


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Jul 27, 2022
Help! Should I Leave Him or Double Down on Loving Him? feat. Tee

Tee aka HiMyNamesTee Tee is in a 12-year on and off relationship with her first love and first sexual partner that she feels equal parts hope and despair towards. Should she stay in feeling as though she's with her soul mate and twin flame OR run in knowing that she's tried so hard for so long and still...

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Here is the exercise Tee and I did together:


Section One Framing - tell the story of why you should stay and why you should go

Section Two - tell me the things that make you love you. Things that make you a positive, motivating force within your own life:

1) Can you currently approach growth and your outlook on the future from a place of worthiness?

2) Who are you, at your current best? 


3) What parts of yourself do you want to protect at all cost?


4) What is your vision for your future?

5) What do you need to be happy in order to give yourself the best shot at making this vision a reality?


Section Three - answering the hard questions

1) If you had to sum up your relationship in one word, it would be?

2) Is this a familiar pattern?

3) When I think about the future of my relationship, I typically feel? 

4) Are you your optimal self when you’re with your partner? 

5) Do you feel appreciated by your partner?

6) In a dream world scenario, what’s the ideal relationship that you’d like to have with your partner?

7) In the real world, given what you know so far, what kind of relationship is possible, today

8) Have you tried hard enough in this relationship?

9) Should it be this much work?

10) If you had a son or daughter you deeply loved, would you want them to be in a relationship with someone like the person you are with right now?

11) How will my life change without this person?

12) How could my life change for the better with this person in it?

13) What haven’t I learned from this relationship?

14) If I could get an email from myself ten years from now, what advice might it have?

15) If this is all there is, will it be enough? 

16) How often do you fight with your partner?

18) Do you ever wish that you were in a relationship with someone else?


Section Four
I pulled those prompts from this research article

You can also find a table of the prompts here in this article


Jul 20, 2022
Soul Mates or Settling? The Friends to Lovers Story feat. Ezee and Natalie

Can genuine friends truly transition into longterm romantic and sexual partners? Is it more ideal to gradually walk into love WITH someone who’s already your best friend OR fall in love and then become best friends?

According to a 2021 study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science finds that two thirds of romantic couples started out in a platonic relationship. Yes, 68% reported that their current romantic relationship began as a friendship! And the rate of friends to lovers was even higher among 20 somethings and within the LGBTQ+ communities with 85% reported that their relationship began as a friendship. And more interestingly I think, only 30% said they were sexually attracted to the partner from the very beginning. 


You might be like, why is this so shocking to you and it’s because in essence our generation might be rewriting the traditionally understood blueprint for forming romantic bonds.


This is what we discuss with guests Ezee and Natalie, two comedic-content creators turned collaborators turned best friends turned lovers, who have shared every part of their journey online and thus have sparked a lot of conversations about whether plutonic friends really shift to romantic lovers in a way that is both equal and sustainable? And with Hotline Bling producer plus half of DVSN's Nineteen85 aka Paul Jefferies.



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Jul 12, 2022
Men's Ego: The Real Cock Blocker for Great Sex feat. Tim Chantarangsu

Let’s get right into this week’s episode: do many straight men utilize sex education, outside of watching mainstream porn, in order to ensure they’re really putting it down?

In my opinion…no… as both a sex educator and as someone who’s had sex with straight men, I gotta say The ego that I’ve been met with from straight men has been toxic at times and really sad at others. And to me ego is both the biggest turnoff and biggest, for lack of a better term, cock blocker to actual great sex.


In this episode I get a group of straight men, a male sex coach and Tim Chantarangsu to shed light on why men are often too proud to engage in sex education.


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Tim Chantarangsu

Podcast: No Chasers

Male Sex Coach

Alex Grendi is a male sex coach that specializes in helping men with premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction. He also helps men integrate what they've learned about becoming superior sexual lovers into all areas of their life.

Jared Brady
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Jul 06, 2022
I Baby My Man and It Works For Us feat. Jasmin "Watch Jazzy" Brown

To submit to someone else is defined as accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the authority or will of another. So, how does that play out in romantic partnerships? Actor, comedian and bestie in your head Jasmin Brown shares why she joyfully submits to her man unconditionally. Jasmin also sheds light on the power split, sexual dynamic, as well as the roles and responsibilities that often come with identifying as a submissive woman to an alpha partner. 

Has the art of submission in love and dating been lost? At the end of the episode I discuss this with a panel of my lovers and friends: Jared Brady, Lauren Morrison and Chris Morrison 


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What I am committed to doing in a post Roe vs Wade America

Jun 28, 2022
Blowjobs: Everything You Didn’t Know You Needed to Know feat. Rayna Greenberg GGE

If you give head, blow jobs, top, and/or oral sex on a penis…why not be the best of it? I brought together research from top experts, a medical penis expert, a self-proclaimed grade A head giver and a group of men to weigh in on the do's, don’ts and maybes that will make you a master at sucking dick.


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Resources for better oral sex on penis’ mentioned in this episode

Jun 22, 2022
Toxic Self Love feat. Nina Parker

What's the relationship between toxic self-love and a toxic life? This is the question that Nina Parker was forced to answer when she turned 40. Her journey to discovering and then correcting what she found when she looked at her life honestly led her to the happiest time in her life!


In this episode of Lovers and Friends, Emmy nominated Television host and Fashion Designer Nina Parker shares how she got through her darkest time during the pandemic. Now, she’s gotten her life together in ways she never expected. As Nina put it, it's a rom-com … WITHOUT a partner. ENJOY! 




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Jun 08, 2022
Don’t Ask Me My Sign

Astrology … what has your experience been with it (especially) when it comes to dating? What if someone has a different perspective on it than you? Oftentimes, it can be a judgmental, mean, hot-ass mess when one person believes in the stars and astrological signs and the other does not. Personally, I think we can all collectively do better with it. In this episode, we dive into how believers and non-believers of astrology can come together and focus on what really matters.


This episode addresses and then attempts to bridge the divide. I am joined by famed astrologer Aliza Kelly as well as my astrology-loving friends Amber's Closet and Toni Romiti.


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ALIZA KELLY is a celebrity astrologer, columnist, bestselling author, and host. Aliza has been featured in The New York Times, The New Yorker, Vogue, InStyle, The Cut, and numerous other publications. She's the author of three books: Most recent being This Is Your Destiny: Using Astrology to Manifest Your Best Life Get Aliza's book here: can also listen to Aliza's podcast "Stars Like Us" wherever you listen to podcasts


Amber Whittington is one of the leading voices fighting for equality for the LGBTQ+ community.  A content creator, activist, host and actress, Amber is changing the world by using her platform to educate global audiences on the black and queer experiences. Amber is an avid astrology enthusiast.

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Toni Romiti is an athlete-turned-singer who parlayed viral fame into pop stardom. She has created music Alongside rapper Ty Dolla $ign, guested on DJ Carisma’s 2020 single “That’s Facts.” And is an avid astrology enthusiast.

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Jun 01, 2022
My Breakup was a Break Free ft/ Sorelle Amore

How would you feel if your lover said to you, “thank you for the opportunities to improve and grow in this relationship, but sadly, I think in order to continue to evolve, I have to break up with you…”


You’ve probably heard this statement before, “some people are in our life for just a reason and a season.” If the reason and season length are mutual -- INCREDIBLE! But, what happens when it’s not? Let’s examine all sides of what happens when "can I spend my life with you" turns into "thank you, next!"


This episode is all about the harsh and beautiful realities of “relationship cocooning” (a phrase I think I may have invented). It stars Sorelle Amore who shocked the internet when she broke off her engagement, Makeba Lindsay whose marriage ended when they had different ideas of growth, and Eman who wants to put an end to men who “cocoon” through her.

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May 25, 2022
I (kinda) Hate My Lover ft/ Jazzmyne Jay

 A lot of us learn how to love, but we don’t necessarily learn how to cope with not loving everything about the person we love. This episode is all about the difference between disliking some things about your partner and/or disliking your partner. How do you know if something small and annoying can turn into something big and unbearable down the road? What should you do when you get to the place where the two of you just can't seem to get along?


Jazzmyne Jay is back in this episode to share why she moved in with her partner and then moved out once she found that they just couldn’t get along. And guess what -- they are still together to this day despite that storm. I am also joined by my husband Jared Brady and we discuss why we've never liked each other less than we do right now. Plus, we go through an exercise to try and understand this phase we’re currently in. I also answer some of your questions!


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May 18, 2022
The Debatable Legacy of Kevin Samuels

Kevin Samuels, an image consultant and a well-known relationship commentator (especially within the black community), died on May 5, 2022. I wish peace to his family and friends who are grieving the loss on a personal level. As for those who have been impacted by Kevin’s work and words within the last couple of years as he rose to notoriety, I hope we can find peace by addressing the harm and help that his work caused. As a community, I hope we can discuss where we want to go next. This is why the only guests on this episode are you all.


Together, we assess who benefited from Kevin Samuels’s work and who was deeply harmed by it. Furthermore, we evaluate what his death means for the future of relationship and dating advice.

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May 11, 2022
Let’s Talk About They, Baby

When you search non-binary on YouTube, videos like “There Are Only Two Genders - Prove Me Wrong!” show up. In this episode, we bring the heated debate surrounding breaking the binary from a boil to something digestible and actionable. Here to help us unpack this topic is non-binary sexuality expert Ev'Yan Whitney and non-binary multi-dimensional artist Jordianna AKA Jordi. 

In this episode we’re discussing: the difference between sex and gender, the goal of the non-binary movement, the dangers of ignorance, and why non-binary people want you to identify however the fuck you want to identify. 

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May 04, 2022
Sex and the Saints w/ Shameless Maya

Does God really care about your sex life? And if so, does that also mean that God can help you have the best sex of your life? After more than a decade of Catholic school and Christain churches I was unclear about the Bible, God's actual will, sex, and the relationship between pleasure and sin. In an effort to gain clarity, I brought in some people to talk about it! This week's staring guest is Shameless Maya – A Christian YouTube star who was conflicted and confused while practicing celibacy. You'll also be hearing from theology expert Tara Teng, Christian influencer Brenda Marie Davies aka God is Grey, Jared Brady and his father Derrex Brady.


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Apr 27, 2022
Am I Undateable? w/ Khleo Thomas and Mandii B

Does finding the kind of relationship you want mean conforming to an ideal of what a romantic partner is “supposed to be”? What if you don’t want to conform? Does this mean you’re not cut out for love? To explore further, Shan sits down with both Mandii, from the “See, The Thing Is” and “WHOREible Decisions” Podcasts and Khleo Thomas from Disney’s “Holes”; two successful and fascinating individuals who have come to believe that they are undateable. Not because of any toxic traits, but because their version of life-long happiness is not in line with what society feeds us. Listen in on this conversation as Shan helps these guests figure out what’s broken.


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Apr 13, 2022
My Ex Was a Gaslighter w/ Melissa Rivers

Are you familiar with the term “gaslighting?” Shan’s guest, Melissa Rivers, was a victim of it in her previous relationship - and she didn’t hesitate to share her experiences. In this episode, we learn about Melissa and Shan’s gaslighting experiences and the toxic impact it has had on them. Shan also brings in Dr. Barry Goldstein, a clinical psychologist, therapist, and consultant to reality-based production shows such as “Make Up or Break Up.” Dr. Barry provides clinical knowledge about gaslighting and tools to not only identify it; but challenge it as well.


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Apr 06, 2022
You're Dating Out of Your League w/ Harry Jowsey

Let’s talk about dating and why so many people are lost in the gap between what they’re getting and what they want out of love. To get up close and personal about it, Shan welcomes Harry Jowsey to the podcast, who you might recognize as the Australian heartthrob from the 2020 season of Netflix's "Too Hot to Handle". So how is it that a 6'5", successful, wealthy, gorgeous, and emotionally available man is having trouble finding "the one"? The answer surprised him, and may even surprise you too.


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Mar 30, 2022
The Funny Thing About Love And Sex w/ Hannah Berner

How important is humor in love and dating? In that same vein how harmful can humor in the wrong way at the wrong time be in a romantic connection? To explore this question, Shan sits with the hilarious Hannah Berner of Giggly Squad and Berning in Hell podcasts and Bravo’s Summer House, and Hannah reveals all the fun parts of being in love with a comedian…and what happens when the joke goes too far. Shan also gets some expert insight from Dr. Helen Fisher, PhD, and finally, find out why Shan’s husband Jared never laughs at her jokes.

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Mar 23, 2022
This Baby Is Killing Our Sex Life

In this very intimate and vulnerable episode, Shan sits down with her husband, Jared, to discuss the real fears they have about the future of their marriage and intimacy now that baby #2 is on the way. Being in new territory, Shan tries to learn as much as she can about how others have navigated similar challenges including her audience, her mother, her sister, and Erica Dickerson and Milah Mapp from the podcast Good Moms, Bad Choices.


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Mar 16, 2022
Why Straight Men Are Boring In Bed

Let’s talk about sex! Specifically why are so many straight men so closed-minded and unadventurous when it comes to sex? And why aren’t we talking about this more? To cover this, Shan collects a wide variety of male perspectives from legendary sex educator, Dan Savage, the hosts of the Hard or Soft Podcast, and as a special treat, Shan’s husband, Jared, gets together with the closest men in his life to get their honest reflections on why straight men are more concerned with dominance and masculinity than pleasure and self expression in the bedroom.


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Mar 09, 2022
Breaking Up Is Fun To Do w/ Kamie Crawford

When you've gone through a break-up, it's time for a pity party, right? But what if we celebrated the newly single instead? And maybe even aspired to be more like them? In this episode, Shan breaks down the highs and the lows of breakups with Kamie Crawford, host of the podcast Relationsh*t and MTV's Catfish. Kamie reveals what went on behind the scenes of her public break-up, and how she’s moving forward. Then, YouTuber and social activist Amber Lee Whittington reflects on how her heartbreaks have resulted in…well, you have to listen to find out.

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Feb 23, 2022
Dating In Your Twenties. One Word: Resentment

Does dating in your twenties have to be trash? Or are people in their twenties just trash? In this episode, Shan brings on Andrea Desiree Lewis, her ex-business partner from the early “Those Girls Are Wild” YouTube days. Shan and Andrea dish on their worst moments from dating in their 20s and how it actually made them better partners today. Then, find out why Shan finds talking to her 23-year-old brother-in-law therapeutic for her 20-year-old self.

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Feb 16, 2022
The Naked Truth On Loving Your Body

Is letting others love you naked a prerequisite to loving your body? In this episode, Shan talks with Sarah Landry — who is notoriously naked online despite getting horrendous comments on her body — about how to choose and love your nakedness in your own everyday, all day. Shan then brings on Jazzmyne Jay to explore how body positivity shows up in same-sex relationships and how fat-phobia has it’s roots in racism?


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Feb 09, 2022
Boss In The Streets And (Currently) Meh In The Sheets w/ Rachel Lindsay

What do you do if you’re in a place where you’re madly in love with your partner, your career, your life...BUT you've also decided to put your sex life on the backburner…or maybe more accurately, in the fridge? Rachel Lindsey, the first African-American Bachelorette, sits down with Shan to unapologetically talk about her loving marriage and how it's far removed from the Fantasy Suite. Then, Shan gets Jared’s take on their current sex life...or lack thereof.

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Feb 02, 2022
Hi, Meet My Mental Illness!

So let’s talk about dating with mental illness. In this episode, Shan sits down with Eileen Kelly from the "Going Mental" podcast about her recent experience with being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, and how it impacted her dating/romantic life. Shan continues the conversation with author and therapist, Nedra Glover Tawwab, who has advice for how to talk about mental illness when you're in a relationship and how you can be a supportive partner.


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Jan 26, 2022
Is It Cheating? Or Is It An Open Relationship?

What do you do if you realize that monogamy isn’t for you, and that realization leads to another even more terrifying thought… Who? How? What the fuck, now? In this episode, Shan sits down with her personal friend Rome Green Jr. from Dormtainment who explains why he knows monogamy isn’t for him and why he also knows that he may not have the rest figured out just yet. Then Ken Melvoin-Berg & Sunny Megatron aka Sex Ed Superheroes join Shan and her husband, Jared, to break down how they've navigated openness in their marriage and what do's and don'ts they've all learned.

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Jan 19, 2022
Hey, Can We Try Something Freaky?

Can you get exactly what you want sexually without taking away something from what your partner wants? And if you can't...should you really care? In this episode, Shan sits down with Weezy from the wildly popular podcast, Whoreible Decisions, to discuss how the feminine femmes play down their expertise in the bedroom in order to not threaten their partner's masculinity. Shan and Lauren then sit down to talk about how this shows up outside the bedroom and impacts a feminine's their money, career, and relationships.


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Jan 12, 2022
Are You Caught Up?

It's the last episode of 2021 and Shan brings together Jared and Lauren to share all that went on behind the scenes in making the podcast. Also, why doesn't Shan like the theme song?

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Dec 29, 2021
I Don't Want To Break Up But I Need Some Space

Have you heard of a couple that's Living Apart Together? In this episode, Shan interviews Ev'Yan Whitney, a sensualist, and author of the book "Your Sensual Self" about how they and their husband decided to live in different states after being together for 19 years, while still continuing to be married. Shan also interviews her parents, who have been married for 40 years, to see there's anything they could learn from Ev'Yan's story to better their own marriage.


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Dec 22, 2021
Just So You Know...We Ain't F*ckin!

In this episode, Shan interviews comedian Ashley Hesseltine from the "Girls Gotta Eat" Podcast. You could argue that this episode is about women getting off with men partners without giving anything sexual in return, you could also argue it’s about the validity of blue balls, or that we’re here to discuss dating in a post me-too era. But what it really boils down to is rewriting sexual and romantic scripts, especially for singles. How do you end an intimate encounter where you want to end it...and have it be okay?

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Dec 15, 2021
I Do...Think About Divorcing You

When people take that vow of forever, do they enter into that contract knowing that they don’t really mean it? In this episode, Shan sits down with Bart and Geo, who check all the boxes of #CoupleGoals: a marriage, a beautiful home, family, podcast and multiple thriving businesses, to find out how their recent divorce scare has reframed what #CoupleGoals means to them now. Then it gets personal when Shan, her husband, her sister and her brother-in-law admit to times when they almost called it quits.

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Dec 08, 2021
He Might Be Better In Bed Than You

For years, Shan has heard the rumors that A LOT of non-gay men are watching gay porn. In this episode we answer the question: What can gay men teach the non-gay community about how to have great sex? To find out Shan interviews Jade Fox, a queer lifestyle creator and social media influencer, Jade Fox, who admits to enjoying gay porn over lesbian porn. We also hear from Kevin Wade and Javonte Rose, two gay men, on what their secret sauce is when it comes to great sex.

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Dec 01, 2021
Naked Barbies and Humping Pillows

It’s storytime! Shan takes you down memory lane in order to answer the question she is asked most often throughout her career: When and how did you decide that you were going to be a sex expert? In this special edition episode and for the first time ever on the Podcast, Shan brings in the woman who witnessed it all. None other than Olivia Boodram, aka Mom.

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Nov 24, 2021
Rape is Not Sex

In one of Shan’s toughest interviews to date, she sits down with New York Times Best Selling Author, Ashley C. Ford, who talks about her unconventional path to healing from sexual assault and how it impacted how she thought about sex. Shan also has a conversation with "Trauma Queen" Jimanekia about how to start the trauma healing process with a professional.

If you are seeking support/resources due to sexual violence, you can reach out to organizations such as RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) by visiting or call their National Sexual Assault Hotline by dialing 800.656.HOPE (4673).

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Nov 17, 2021
I'm Done Waiting For A Ring

Why are women still having to pressure their partners into proposing? Shan interviews Krista Williams and Lindsay Simcik from the “Almost 30 Podcast” where Krista shares how her relationship evolved over the years and how she passively let him know that she was ready and waiting for his proposal to come. Shan shares her proposal story and how she was heartbroken when the proposal didn’t come on her original timeline. But that’s just one side of the discussion. To round out the conversation, Shan invites her husband and brother-in-law who share their experience with being pressured to propose.

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Nov 10, 2021
Porn Sucks!

Why are so many women immediately turned off when porn gets turned on? To find out, Shan interviews award-winning film maker and porn director, Erika Lust, about how her work addresses this common dilemma. Erika shares with us what kind of porn women should search for if they are looking to get off before getting turned off by less palatable options, and Shan sees if she can convince Lauren to give porn a chance.

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Nov 03, 2021
She Switched Up Since She Got a Man Feat Jeannie Mai

Should you change who you are in order to keep the lover you wanna be with? If your first reaction is "Hell to the No!"'re not alone. In this episode Shan interviews Emmy award-winning producer and host Jeannie Mai, who talks about how her marriage to Young Jeezy transformed her in ways that just didn’t surprise her, it also shocked the world! We also explore whether or not Shan regrets the changes she made for love with a revealing dialogue between her husband Jared and her sister Lauren.

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Oct 27, 2021
Do We Really Want Vulnerable Men?

Women say they want a man who is open and willing to be vulnerable, but is this really true? Back in 2019, Shan participated in a YouTube discussion with Aba and Preach where they covered this very topic.The conversation amassed over 1.3M views and nearly 9000 comments. Two years later, Shan, Aba & Preach re-visit this under-represented dialogue about why some men don't yet feel safe to show their vulnerable side with their partners.

Oct 20, 2021
Did You Hear She Has Herpes?

Herpes, or “The Scarlet H”, is a very common and yet widely misunderstood STD. Shan interviews Shira Lazar, who discusses how her diagnosis with herpes has impacted her sex life. Dr. Ina Park, Medical Consultant at the CDC's Division of STD Prevention and author of the book “Strange Bedfellows”, breaks down the facts and science around herpes in order to erase the attached sitgmas, enabling healthy and empowered sex lives for those with STDs. 

Oct 13, 2021
Help! Why Can't I Orgasm?

Can a needle of filler give you the ability to orgasm by penetration? Shan interviews Dr. Courtenay Poucher,  and gets the "O-shot" to find out. Dr. Poucher is a licensed and board certified expert cosmetic gynecologist who  practices in Southern California. She has dedicated her career to women’s sexual health returning functionality and confidence to her patients with labiaplasty. She has been featured on The Doctors, NBC Access Live, and in New Beauty, Hustle and

Oct 06, 2021
Hello, Lovers And Friends

There is so much great and life changing information about sex and love, but let’s say what you’re all’s dry as f*ck! Sexologist and intimacy expert Shan Boodram will teach you what you really want to know about intimacy - from porn and orgasms to marriage and divorce - so you can be your own relationship expert.

Sep 20, 2021