As Long As I'm Living
By Judith and Alina
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Category: Personal Journals
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Episodes: 212
Description
We're long-distance friends and bereaved moms who lost sons to SIDS in 2021. Each Monday, we chat life after infant loss. Raw episodes with lots of tears, hopeful episodes on the good days, episodes to help those supporting a griever, and interviews with loss parents and other experts in grief and trauma.
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We started our podcast to document our journeys toward Happier Ever After and hope to provide support and connection for those who have lost a child to SIDS, stillbirth, TFMR, miscarriage, or any other type of baby loss. We’re sorry you need us, but we’re so glad you’re here!
| Episode | Date |
|---|---|
|
Are You There, AI? It's Me, a Loss Mom
|
Oct 19, 2026 |
|
1/320 (not!)
|
Sep 28, 2026 |
|
Stay Close
|
Sep 07, 2026 |
|
At a Total Loss, an interview about grief podcasting with Katherine Lazar, Brody's Mom
|
May 04, 2026 |
|
5 Years Without Aiden
|
Mar 23, 2026 |
|
5 Years Without Quinn
|
Mar 16, 2026 |
|
Our 2026 Horoscopes: The Journey is the Destination
|
Jan 01, 2026 |
|
Two Truths and No Lies
|
Dec 31, 2025 |
|
ily
|
Sep 22, 2025 |
|
Gender Reveal: It's A....... Disappointment
|
Sep 15, 2025 |
|
Ask ALAIL: Will I ever be happy again?
|
Sep 08, 2025 |
|
Smorgasbord of Suffering
|
Sep 01, 2025 |
|
In Our Abundance Era
|
Aug 25, 2025 |
|
Welcome to the Club
|
Aug 18, 2025 |
|
A Judith Life Update
|
Aug 11, 2025 |
|
Ask ALAIL: Should I buy an Owlet?
|
Aug 04, 2025 |
|
An Alina Life Update (feat. Alive Baby)
|
Jul 28, 2025 |
|
Superlatives
|
Jul 21, 2025 |
|
Ask ALAIL: Should I co-sleep?
|
Jun 16, 2025 |
|
A Tough Pill to Swallow, a conversation about using psychiatric medication after traumatic loss
|
Jun 09, 2025 |
|
The Rules to Your Own Game, an interview about boundaries with "chaos coach" Jennifer Ventling
|
Jun 02, 2025 |
|
A Birth Day and a Death Anniversary
|
May 26, 2025 |
|
Happy To Be Here, an Alive Baby Birth Story
|
May 19, 2025 |
|
Loving the Gone, an interview with poet and griever Sara Rian
|
May 12, 2025 |
|
Another Mother's Day
|
May 09, 2025 |
|
Alive Baby!
|
Mar 10, 2025 |
|
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
|
Mar 03, 2025 |
|
Leap of Faith
|
Feb 24, 2025 |
|
'Til Death Do Us Part (2), another interview about relationships after baby loss with Dr. Denise Mandel
|
Feb 17, 2025 |
|
'Til Death Do Us Part (1), an interview about relationships after baby loss with Dr. Denise Mandel
|
Feb 10, 2025 |
|
Take It or Leave It (Advice for Loss Parents)
|
Feb 03, 2025 |
|
Write to Grieve, part 2 of our interview with bereaved aunt Rochel
|
Jan 27, 2025 |
|
Love... Continued, an interview about creating new memories with our lost loved ones with bereaved aunt Rochel
|
Jan 20, 2025 |
|
Congratulations, and I'm Sorry (A Pregnancy After Loss Meltdown)
|
Jan 13, 2025 |
|
Measuring Time in Love and Loss
|
Jan 06, 2025 |
|
2025: Can We Get a B+ Year?
|
Dec 30, 2024 |
|
Where are YOU Now? (3 Years of ALAIL)
|
Dec 23, 2024 |
|
50 Shades of Gray Hair, an interview about grief-accelerated aging with dermatologist Dr. Lawrence Green
|
Dec 16, 2024 |
|
Invisible String
|
Dec 09, 2024 |
|
We Need a Minute
|
Nov 11, 2024 |
|
Where Are We Now? (3 Years of ALAIL)
|
Nov 04, 2024 |
|
Live with the Sad Dads Club (Insta Live Replay)
|
Oct 28, 2024 |
|
Abortion Access for All (A Rant Before the US Election)
|
Oct 21, 2024 |
|
Life Update: Something To Lose
|
Oct 14, 2024 |
|
The Circle of Loss, an interview about paying grief support forward with Marnina, Michal's Mom
|
Oct 07, 2024 |
|
Already a Mom
|
Sep 30, 2024 |
|
Bumpy Start, an Alive Baby NICU Story
|
Sep 23, 2024 |
|
Quinn is 4... and a big brother!
|
Sep 16, 2024 |
|
Shoulders to Cry On, an interview about infant loss support groups with Dr. Denise Mandel
|
Sep 09, 2024 |
|
Live Again from DC (Insta Live Replay)
|
Sep 02, 2024 |
|
Into the Lion's Den
|
Aug 26, 2024 |
|
When Your Pregnancy is Killing You, an interview about TFMR with Emily, Maliyah's Mom
|
Aug 19, 2024 |
|
Maliyah's Story, as told by her mom, Emily
|
Aug 19, 2024 |
|
One in a Million
|
Aug 12, 2024 |
|
A Tale of Two Sisters: The New Beginning, our final interview about shifting relationships after loss with Judith's Sister Ilana (3/3)
|
Aug 05, 2024 |
|
A Tale of Two Sisters: The Messy Middle, another interview about shifting relationships after loss with Judith's Sister Ilana (2/3)
|
Jul 29, 2024 |
|
A Tale of Two Sisters: The Long Goodbye, an interview about shifting relationships after loss with Judith's Sister Ilana (1/3)
|
Jul 22, 2024 |
|
With a Little Help From My (Baby's) Friends
|
Jul 15, 2024 |
|
I Can Do It With a Broken Heart
|
Jul 08, 2024 |
|
Blessed Are They That Mourn, an interview about hospital chaplaincy with Presbyterian Minister Marcie Brozyna, Rumi's Mom
|
Jul 01, 2024 |
|
Death is Life-Threatening
|
Jun 24, 2024 |
|
Life Update: Alina's Infertility Era and Judith on Parenting After Loss
|
Jun 17, 2024 |
|
A Father's Grief Journey, a very special Father's Day interview with Aiden's Dad
|
Jun 10, 2024 |
|
Time Heals All Wounds
|
Jun 03, 2024 |
|
Long Story Short, I Survived
|
May 27, 2024 |
|
Judith is Pregnant, Alina is Not
|
May 20, 2024 |
|
I Think About You All the Time
|
May 13, 2024 |
|
We're Baaaaack!
|
May 06, 2024 |
|
Hello, Goodbye
|
Mar 11, 2024 |
|
ALAIL Recommends: How to Take a Really Nice Bath (We're On a Break)
|
Mar 04, 2024 |
|
ALAIL Recommends: Books For If You Can Read (We're On a Break)
|
Feb 26, 2024 |
|
ALAIL Recommends: Trash TV and Saltburn (We're On a Break)
|
Feb 19, 2024 |
|
ALAIL Recommends: Scrolling TikTok (We're On a Break)
|
Feb 12, 2024 |
|
ALAIL Recommends: Alina's Favorite Hate Watch (We're On a Break)
|
Feb 05, 2024 |
|
ALAIL Recommends: Youtube Travels (We're On a Break)
|
Jan 29, 2024 |
|
ALAIL Recommends: Taking a Break! (We're Taking a Break)
|
Jan 22, 2024 |
|
Wonder Woman, Revisited
|
Jan 15, 2024 |
|
The One Where Judith Made a New Friend, an interview with Judith's Friend Mel
|
Jan 08, 2024 |
|
2024 Is Going to Be Our Year!
|
Jan 01, 2024 |
|
Day in the Life - Christmas 2023
|
Dec 25, 2023 |
|
Crappy Birthday
|
Dec 18, 2023 |
|
May Their Memory Be a Blessing, another interview about religious support for grievers with Rabbi Antine
|
Dec 11, 2023 |
|
An Atheist and a Rabbi Walk Into a Cemetery, an interview about Jewish mourning practices with Rabbi Antine
|
Dec 04, 2023 |
|
i carry your heart with me
|
Nov 27, 2023 |
|
Resilience is a Muscle
|
Nov 20, 2023 |
|
The Dead Teach the Living, more about infant autopsy and death investigation with Ephina and Caroline
|
Nov 13, 2023 |
|
Pop Quiz! All About As Long As I'm Living (Happy Anniversary to Us!)
|
Nov 06, 2023 |
|
The Last Responders, an interview about infant death investigation with Ephina and Caroline
|
Oct 30, 2023 |
|
2 Steps Backward, 3 Steps Forward
|
Oct 23, 2023 |
|
Oxygen Mask, a conversation about the experience of communal grief amidst global trauma
|
Oct 16, 2023 |
|
An Incomparable Loss, an interview with Christine, Miranda's Mom
|
Oct 09, 2023 |
|
Sad Eyes, Broken Heart, Can't Lose (the Weight), a conversation about body image after baby loss
|
Oct 02, 2023 |
|
Dead Baby Birthday
|
Sep 25, 2023 |
|
From The Other Side Of The Stirrups, another interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 2)
|
Sep 18, 2023 |
|
The Stillbirth Specialist, an interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 1)
|
Sep 11, 2023 |
|
Grief Retreat 2023
|
Sep 04, 2023 |
|
My Big Fat Griefy Wedding
|
Aug 28, 2023 |
|
For When You're On the Floor
|
Aug 21, 2023 |
|
Loose Threads, a Conversation About Unrealized Dreams
|
Aug 14, 2023 |
|
Trauma, Blah Blah Blah
|
Aug 07, 2023 |
|
Day in the Life - Alina bought a house, Judith bought a drill
|
Jul 31, 2023 |
|
Egg(s) On My Face: Alina's IVF Journey, Part 1
|
Jul 24, 2023 |
|
More from Quinn's Step-Dad, another very special interview with Alina's new husband, Tyler
|
Jul 17, 2023 |
|
Love After Loss, an interview with Tyler, Quinn's Step-dad
|
Jul 10, 2023 |
|
Live Again From Boston! (Returning to Work, Alina's Wedding, Chit Chat)
|
Jul 03, 2023 |
|
The Cost of Loss, Part 2: The Aftermath
|
Jun 26, 2023 |
|
The Cost of Loss, Part 1: The Early Days
|
Jun 19, 2023 |
|
Grieving Out Loud
|
Jun 12, 2023 |
|
It Still Hurts, an interview with veteran loss parent Jami, Lev's Mom
|
Jun 05, 2023 |
|
Grief is a Rollercoaster... Strap In!
|
May 29, 2023 |
|
Here Comes the (Bereaved) Bride
|
May 22, 2023 |
|
There Are No Words, an interview with widow and greeting card maker Jess Walker of Five Dot Post
|
May 15, 2023 |
|
Happy For You, Sad For Me (On Pregnancy Announcements)
|
May 08, 2023 |
|
When "Choice" Doesn't Feel Like a Choice, an interview about TFMR with Adelyn's Mom Alyssa
|
May 01, 2023 |
|
How Are You? (We're Back From Our Break!)
|
Apr 28, 2023 |
|
Advocacy (We're On a Break)
|
Apr 24, 2023 |
|
Episodes from the Floor (We're On a Break)
|
Apr 17, 2023 |
|
Hear from the Pros! (We're On a Break)
|
Apr 10, 2023 |
|
Return to Work (We're On a Break)
|
Apr 03, 2023 |
|
Grief 101 (We're On a Break)
|
Mar 27, 2023 |
|
There Are No Silver Linings, an Interview about Making Meaning in Grief with Dr. Denise Mandel
|
Mar 13, 2023 |
|
He's Still Dead
|
Mar 06, 2023 |
|
First Time Moms for the Second Time, More About Parenting After Loss with Zayn's Mom Katie
|
Feb 27, 2023 |
|
Good News About Bad News
|
Feb 20, 2023 |
|
Breathing After Loss, an Interview About Parenting After Loss with Zayn's Mom Katie
|
Feb 13, 2023 |
|
Bad News Travels
|
Feb 06, 2023 |
|
Bonus! Our Worst Episode Ever
|
Feb 02, 2023 |
|
Flying Over Denver
|
Jan 30, 2023 |
|
Why Me?
|
Jan 23, 2023 |
|
Live from DC! (Q&A Replay)
|
Jan 16, 2023 |
|
Meet the Rainbow Baby* Doctor, an Interview with Pediatrician and Loss Mom Dr. Laura Arling
|
Jan 09, 2023 |
|
We Reject Our 2023 Horoscopes
|
Jan 02, 2023 |
|
The One Where We Help Your Friends Help You
|
Dec 29, 2022 |
|
The One With a Friend Who Showed Up, an Interview with Judith's Friend Miriam
|
Dec 26, 2022 |
|
The One Where Everyone Did the Best They Could, an Interview with Alina's Friend Julia
|
Dec 19, 2022 |
|
We Are Not Okay
|
Dec 12, 2022 |
|
Medium
|
Dec 05, 2022 |
|
Will you do us a favor?
|
Dec 04, 2022 |
|
The One Where Judith Apologizes, an Interview with Judith's Friend Rachel
|
Nov 28, 2022 |
|
Holiday Survival Guide
|
Nov 21, 2022 |
|
The One Where Alina Needed Help, an Interview with Alina's Friend Leah
|
Nov 14, 2022 |
|
The One Where Judith's Friendship Changed, an Interview with Judith's Friend Julia
|
Nov 07, 2022 |
|
State of the Podcast (Happy anniversary to us!)
|
Oct 31, 2022 |
|
Unheard Interviews from the Cutting Room Floor!
|
Oct 24, 2022 |
|
Dead Bodies Aren't Decorations
|
Oct 17, 2022 |
|
What is Self Care, Actually?
|
Oct 10, 2022 |
|
Bruised, Not Broken (featuring classic Judith & Alina rambles, and some updates on Alina's heart)
|
Oct 06, 2022 |
|
Answers and Questions
|
Oct 03, 2022 |
|
A Rant About Paperwork
|
Sep 26, 2022 |
|
Quinn is 2
|
Sep 22, 2022 |
|
Would You Rather?
|
Sep 19, 2022 |
|
Opening a Time Capsule
|
Sep 12, 2022 |
|
(Loss) Mom Guilt
|
Sep 05, 2022 |
|
All About EMDR, an Interview with Trauma Therapist Rebecca Munini
|
Aug 29, 2022 |
|
Perfectly Normal
|
Aug 22, 2022 |
|
Consolation Prize
|
Aug 15, 2022 |
|
Still Breathing, an Interview with Katie Joy Duke
|
Aug 08, 2022 |
|
Judith LIVE on I Was Supposed To Have a Baby
|
Aug 05, 2022 |
|
I Can't Imagine
|
Aug 01, 2022 |
|
The Crossover Day
|
Jul 25, 2022 |
|
Green-Eyed Monster
|
Jul 18, 2022 |
|
Grief Needs a Witness, an Interview with Dr. Denise Mandel
|
Jul 11, 2022 |
|
Alive Baby!
|
Jul 04, 2022 |
|
Abortion is Healthcare
|
Jun 27, 2022 |
|
Calamity, an Interview about Race and Infant Loss with Emy Collins, Bash's Mom
|
Jun 20, 2022 |
|
Father's Day Wishes from the Sad Dads Club
|
Jun 19, 2022 |
|
The Sad Dads Club
|
Jun 13, 2022 |
|
Signs
|
Jun 06, 2022 |
|
A Picture Is Not the Same As Being Together
|
May 30, 2022 |
|
Bonus! Amateur Hour
|
May 27, 2022 |
|
There Is No Moving On, an Interview with Jennifer Su, Aeron's Mom (Returning to Work: Part 2)
|
May 23, 2022 |
|
Start Healing Together, an Interview with Jackie Mancinelli, Richard's Mom (Returning to Work: Part 1)
|
May 16, 2022 |
|
Butyrylcholinesterase
|
May 14, 2022 |
|
We Survived
|
May 09, 2022 |
|
Mothering a Grieving Mother, Interviews with Our Moms
|
May 08, 2022 |
|
TFMR Is Baby Loss, an Interview with Hadley's Mom Jill
|
May 04, 2022 |
|
Happy Days
|
May 02, 2022 |
|
Live From Boston
|
Apr 25, 2022 |
|
Marketing After Loss, an Interview with Elizabeth Minton
|
Apr 18, 2022 |
|
Big Feelings
|
Apr 15, 2022 |
|
Crisis of Faith
|
Apr 11, 2022 |
|
Maybe Baby? (Spoiler: Baby!)
|
Apr 11, 2022 |
|
Ready or Not
|
Apr 04, 2022 |
|
Parental Grief, an Interview with Dr. Goldstein of the Roberts Program
|
Mar 28, 2022 |
|
SIDS, an Interview with Dr. Goldstein of the Roberts Program
|
Mar 21, 2022 |
|
Loss in the Time of Corona
|
Mar 14, 2022 |
|
Q&A! Mommy Wars, Baby Names, and More
|
Mar 08, 2022 |
|
Baby Grievers
|
Mar 07, 2022 |
|
Empty Arms, an Interview with Carol McMurrich
|
Feb 28, 2022 |
|
Charlotte's Story, As Told By Her Mom, Carol
|
Feb 28, 2022 |
|
The Starling
|
Feb 21, 2022 |
|
Puppy Love
|
Feb 14, 2022 |
|
Grieving Together, an Interview with Aiden's Dad
|
Feb 07, 2022 |
|
Peeking Out of the Hole
|
Jan 31, 2022 |
|
One Year of Grief
|
Jan 24, 2022 |
|
The Cutting Room Floor
|
Jan 17, 2022 |
|
The Grief Button
|
Jan 10, 2022 |
|
Into the Planets
|
Jan 03, 2022 |
|
Happier New Year!
|
Dec 31, 2021 |
|
Meet Kaylee, an Interview with Quinn's (other) parent
|
Dec 27, 2021 |
|
Little Triggers Everywhere
|
Dec 20, 2021 |
|
This Episode is Stuffed
|
Dec 13, 2021 |
|
Aiden is 1
|
Dec 12, 2021 |
|
December 1st
|
Dec 06, 2021 |
|
November 30th
|
Dec 06, 2021 |
|
Gift Guide for Grievers
|
Dec 03, 2021 |
|
Wonder Woman
|
Nov 26, 2021 |
|
Wishing You A Tolerable Thanksgiving
|
Nov 25, 2021 |
|
Alina's Bad Day
|
Nov 19, 2021 |
|
The Audacity of Hope
|
Nov 12, 2021 |
|
Happier Ever After?
|
Nov 05, 2021 |
|
The Bottom
|
Nov 04, 2021 |