This week, Barb and Michelle discuss one of the most important practices we can do for inner peace. Forgiveness is a practice that we often think about extending towards people in our lives who have harmed us, but how often do we extend that same grace to ourselves? In this episode you’ll learn Barb’s practice for self-forgiveness to get you started on your journey.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at https://kite.link/barb-knows-best.

Episode Notes:

· Self-forgiveness means forgiving ourselves for any thoughts in the past that we wish were different.

· Forgiveness can’t be don’t on command, but you can set the intention to forgive

· Barb’s practice to assist with self-forgiveness

1. I offer myself forgiveness for any harm I may have caused myself or others.

2. I forgive myself for the times I have betrayed myself or others.

3. I forgive myself for the times I have abandoned myself or others.

4. Send love to your heart.

a. I am enough. I am complete. I am loved. I am worthy.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

· When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron https://amzn.to/3S6lZo9

In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle switch it up and answer your questions! We are so grateful to everyone who sent in questions, and we loved answering them! The most hot topic questions are on dealing with narcissists, more on our personal story, and more of our thoughts on managing grief!

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at https://kite.link/barb-knows-best.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Barb’s favorite books

Man ‘s Search For Meaning by Vicktor Frankl

https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/0807014273/ref=sr_1_1?gclid=CjwKCAjwoMSWBhAdEiwAVJ2ndvuJsYCfD8rn-922E6rgMmeI23wjuFdOcK_6KAMKG22N0V3TI7gqARoC_csQAvD_BwE&hvadid=241632980327&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9052237&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=14366103012713860594&hvtargid=kwd-3086672388&hydadcr=22569_10355199&keywords=man%27s+search+for+meaning+book&qid=1657917581&sr=8-1

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön

https://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Fall-Apart-Difficult/dp/1611803438/ref=sr_1_1?gclid=CjwKCAjwoMSWBhAdEiwAVJ2ndocqxeuJBlnyIY-AR2Wx72r2AYc1NFZ3ihNOIDFEbbQDeA-WpYWgRhoCa54QAvD_BwE&hvadid=241897793643&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9052237&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=16917045653964592500&hvtargid=kwd-6787367441&hydadcr=24631_10399644&keywords=when+things+falls+apart&qid=1657919127&sr=8-1

Michelle’s favorite book

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00S52M350?tag=onamzmmaros1-20&linkCode=ssc&creativeASIN=B00S52M350&asc_item-id=amzn1.ideas.3BEHWSCO8NUUB  

Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life Bookshelf

https://peacefulmindpeacefullife.org/bookshelf/

In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle talk about their favorite self-care practice, setting boundaries. In this conversation, they break down what a boundary is, why it’s so helpful for us to set them, and why this practice is truly the ultimate form of self-care. 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at https://kite.link/barb-knows-best.

Episode Notes:

Boundaries allow us to have more compassion. 

Boundaries are not about the other person. They are about self-care and empowering yourself.

How do we set boundaries for ourselves?

• Notice within your life the trigger points that brings complaining. 
• Remove yourself from situations that don’t align with your beliefs. 
• Don’t share private information with people who haven’t earned your trust. 
• Choose to mute or unfollow people that don’t make you feel good about yourself. 

When communicating your boundaries:

• State your needs. Use “I” statements, such as “I need”. Avoid “you” statements and words like never, always, all the time. 
• Be open to listening and engaging with the person you are communicating with. 

Top four tips for setting healthy boundaries:

1. Be clear about what the boundary is. 
2. Keep it simple enough for someone to remember it. 
3. Do not apologize when setting the boundary. It sends mixed messages. 
4. Be consistent when reinforcing your boundaries. 

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Brené Brown - https://brenebrown.com/art/atlas-of-the-heart-boundaries-are-a-prerequisite-for-compassion-and-empathy/

Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab  https://www.amazon.com/Set-Boundaries-Find-Peace-Reclaiming/dp/0593192095

In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle talk about the #1 habit they are trying to break in their relationships…and it might surprise you! 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at https://kite.link/barb-knows-best.

Episode Notes:

• The desire we have to change other human beings is natural.
• A person isn’t going to change unless they truly want to. You can’t love someone out of their mindset or beliefs.
• People will always do what they want to do, what they feel driven to do and what matters to them.       
• Make a realistic decision on where this person or people fit into your life based on who they are and not on who you wish they could be.                   
• Have a connection with yourself to know who you are, what you want, and what you value.
• • Be able to communicate these values with your loved ones.
  • Ask yourself are you okay with this? Are you okay with how a person may feel or think differently than you do about a situation?

• Focus on the things you can control.
• Give people a chance to transform themselves by themselves.
  

• Use your energy and time and your precious resources to speak up and speak out and do what matters most to you.

In this week’s episode of the pod, Barb and Michelle discuss the old adage “you are the company that you keep”. Learn how Barb and Michelle think is the best way to cultivate meaningful, aligned relationships as well as being the example for the people in your life. 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at https://kite.link/barb-knows-best.

Episode Notes:

• Emotional contagion refers to a phenomenon of an automatic adoption of an emotional state of another person. We, as humans, have a natural tendency to mimic the people around us.    
  
  

• Spend time with people that align with you are. Carefully choose the company you keep as they can influence how you think about yourself and how show up in the world.
  
  

• Be mindful of the places you hang out in, in the digital sphere, as it can influence you as much as those around you.
  
  

• You have choice. You can determine how you process and interpret the situation.
  
  

• Choose people that inspire you. Embrace the habits that you see in other people that will help you be the best version of yourself.
  
  

• Instead of modeling perfection, model authenticity. Be exactly who you are and just show up.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Emotional Contagion (Studies in Emotion and Social Interaction) by Elaine Hatfield, John T. Cacioppo, Richard L. Rapson

https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Contagion-Studies-Emotion-Interaction/dp/0521449480

•  Atlas of the Heart - Brené Brown https://brenebrown.com/book/atlas-of-the-heart/

In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle talk about this sneaky habit that drains our energy: writing stories. Our minds are extremely powerful and creative, if unchecked, our minds can go into overdrive writing stories and contemplating possibilities that we simply don't know to be true. We can never know what it’s fully like to walk in someone else’s shoes, so we might as well stop trying to fill in the gaps with our own creative ideas. 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at https://kite.link/barb-knows-best.

Episode Notes:

• Writing stories is the #1 habit that drains our energy.
• Deepen your awareness of what your mind is feeling and where it is going so that you can redirect the mind from going down a negative path.
• Name it to tame it. 
• Noticing and naming our emotions helps create some distance between the emotion and the intense feelings that accompany it.
• Ask yourself, is this true? Is the story you are writing true?
•  Find a neutral statement to replace the negative.
• Ask yourself, is the story that I’m writing right now empowering me and inspiring me?
• The stories we tell about ourselves matter most.    

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor - https://www.drjilltaylor.com/
• Myleik - https://mytaughtyou.com/ 
• Rainer Maria Rilke - https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poets/rainer-maria-rilke
• Cheryl Strayed https://www.cherylstrayed.com/index.htm 

In a follow up from last week’s episode about being present, Barb and Michelle dive into the habits that tend to take us out of the present moment, and what we can start to do today, to bring us where our feet are. Remembering that the present moment is where you have all your power.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at https://kite.link/barb-knows-best.

Episode Notes:

•  Studies show 85% of the things we worry about do not happen, and the 15% of the things that do happen, we handle better than we thought we would. 
  
  

• Common life instances that keep us from being mindful and in the present:
• Worry and anxiety
• Boredom and restlessness
•  Impatience
• If you are feeling these feelings, take a moment to pause and see where your feet are.

• Remember the good that comes from tapping into the new patterns of being more focused and mindful. 

•  Some of the benefits that come from being present and focused are:
• Having more productive action.
• Being able to recognize the tiny joys.
• More confidence 
• More energy 

 Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

A Wandering Mind Not a Happy Mind – https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2010/11/wandering-mind-not-a-happy-mind/

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at https://kite.link/barb-knows-best.

Episode Notes:

• Being mindful and present is a training of the mind. 
• Find one place in your life where you can be focused.
• The Barb Knows Best Challenge, tell us that one thing you are going to try and be singularly focused on and drop us a note.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Essays and Poems by Ralph Waldo Emerson 

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/139004.Essays_and_Poems

 Being Conscientiously Still or Stagnant – Michelle’s Blog

https://peacefulmindpeacefullife.org/stillness-vs-stagnation/ 

Episode Notes:

• Overwhelm means an extreme level of stress and emotional and or cognitive intensity to the point of feeling unable to function. The big difference is we can function and stress. We really can't function in overwhelm. And the research shows the nothingness is the only way to really reset after overwhelm.
  
  

• Give yourself the grace to rest, recharge, regroup and start again.

• Ways to manage the overwhelm:

1.     Remember to carve out some time for silence and stillness. 
2.     Remember to cultivate positive self-talk.
3.     Remember that you don't have to be perfect and have it all together all the time.
4.     Make your tasks manageable.
5.     Set the boundaries that you need to set, and learn to say no when you need to say no.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Atlas of the Heart by Brene’ Brown

https://www.amazon.com/Atlas-Heart-Meaningful-Connection-Experience/dp/0399592555/ref=asc_df_0399592555/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=532786031661&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=9577636431209211251&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9012047&hvtargid=pla-1407906400294&psc=1

In this week’s episode, for the first time, Michelle shares her journey to sobriety and recognizing the toxic patterns and habits in her life that stemmed from drinking. Barb and Michelle share their personal stories and histories of addiction, dysfunction, and making the choice to make a change. 

 Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at https://kite.link/barb-knows-best.

Episode Notes:

Notice where your “line” is. Know what it means to cross the line.

• Toxic patterns stem from crossing the line, addictive habits stem lines being crossed
•  Notice when your choices are no longer in your control
• Ask yourself, do I have a choice? Am I in control?
• Am I hiding my habits?
• Do I feel shame?

Sometimes the most difficult thing we can do is say no. Many of us avoid saying no for fear of disappointing, hurting, or pushing away others, but how often does this lead us to say yes to others and no to ourselves? In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle talk about how to say no with confidence, as a highest form of self-care. 

 Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at https://kite.link/barb-knows-best.

Episode Notes:

•     Self-love is an ability that we can cultivate.
•     Identify what's the one thing in the day that you need to do for yourself that will help bring you to that place of being 100%, or feeling close to 100% your best.
•     The loving kindness and care that you share, that you have for yourself, is your highest priority.
•     Self-compassion is one of the secrets to self-care, to being able to say “No” with confidence.

 Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

•       Brene’ Brown - https://brenebrown.com
•       A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Ekart Tolle - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/76334.A_New_Earth

In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle dive into the often painful topic of rejection. Many of us live our lives trying to avoid being rejected at all costs. In this episode, we’ll talk about how to reframe rejection and remember that it’s not rejection, it’s redirection. 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at https://kite.link/barb-knows-best.

Key Points:

1. Ask yourself important questions and get in touch with your emotions. 
2. Don’t beat yourself up, cultivate that self-compassion.
3. Try to see the situation from all perspectives. 
4. Let go of control. 
5. Trust that what is meant for you will find you. 
6. Act as if. If you really are searching for something in your life, act as if you already have it. 
7. Find a trusted support system to help lift your spirits. 
8. Be grounded and confident in yourself. 

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• When Things Fall Apart  By Pema Chödrön  

https://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Fall-Apart-Difficult/dp/1611803438

• Michelle’s Blog

https://peacefulmindpeacefullife.org/blog/ 

We spend so much time trying to cultivate and perfect relationships in our lives, but so often we push aside the relationship we have with ourselves. In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle talk about how they both started to establish a strong foundation within, why that even matters, and how it impacts every other aspect of life.  Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at https://kite.link/barb-knows-best.

Key Points:

• The relationship you have yourself is the most important relationship you will have in your life. 
• Have compassion of yourself. We haven’t been taught to listen to the heart and the body instead of only listening to the mind. 
• Your life matters. 
• The four questions to ask yourself:

1. Who am I?
2. What do I really want? 
3. What matters most to me and what do I value? 
4. What impact do I want to make? How do I show up in the world?

 Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

James Finley - https://www.theworkofthepeople.com/person/james-finley 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at https://kite.link/barb-knows-best.

Key Points:

• Grief and death are the teacher.
• Accepting that life will never be what it was before, it will take a different form. 
• Healing leads to transformation.
• The 90 Second Rule - According to Harvard brain scientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, ninety seconds is all it takes to identify an emotion and allow it to dissipate while you simply notice it.

• Be aware of the different stages of grief you may be in:

1.     Denial 
2.     Anger
3.     Bargaining
4.     Depression
5.     Acceptance

 Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/781844.On_Death_and_Dying

In this two-part series, Barb and Michelle open up about their personal experiences with grief and loss. Michelle opens up about the unexpected loss of her dad, and the lessons she learned from her grief, while Barb shares her recent experience of loss and how she is processing it in real-time. 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at https://kite.link/barb-knows-best

Key Points:

•     Allow yourself the moment to grieve. Be in your feelings.
•     Don’t put yourself on a timeline to feel your grief. 
•     Don’t be embarrassed by your grief. Let yourself be sad. 
•     Don’t compare yourself to others. Grief is personal.
•     Find people who you can be with without judgment.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast: 

E.E. Cummings – “I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart) I am never without it.”

https://allpoetry.com/i-carry-your-heart-with-me

Michelle’s Blog - https://peacefulmindpeacefullife.org/4-reminders-when-managing-grief/

One of the most common topics we get asked about is how to cultivate confidence. We all want to feel good in our own skin and know that we hold power and meaning in this world. In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss their own journeys to feeling confident, how to “fake it til you make it” and things to remember in the journey to knowing that you’re perfect exactly as you are.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at https://kite.link/barb-knows-best

Key Points:

●      Confidence is knowing you are enough.

●      Write down the things you love about yourself and what you are good at. Be grateful for those things.

●      The best antidote to self-doubt is taking that one tiny step, because it will move you that little inch forward.

●       As promised here the quote that Barb couldn’t quite place…“I never view mistakes as failures. They are simply opportunities to find out what doesn't work.” – Thomas A. Edison

●      Visualization as a tool to help you achieve the goals you want from how you want to act or react or goals you want.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

●       Self-Esteem Book – Joe Rubino

●      @hellotefi

We all know the pain of a difficult romantic break-up, but there’s nothing that stings like a friendship gone south. In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle share their personal stories of friendship break-ups and even how they overcame a heartbreaking ghosting from a close friend.

Learn the lessons they’ve learned from the ending of a friendship, and a reminder that it doesn’t make us any less worthy of love and support. 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at https://kite.link/barb-knows-best

Key Points:

When a friendship ends: 

1.     Feel your feelings.
2.     Give yourself a timeframe how long you are going to let yourself sit in the feeling. 
3.     Speak your truth if you can.
4.     Don’t try to control the situation. 
5.     Reflect and try to understand what happened. 
6.     Work through the feelings and find acceptance.  

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Michelle’s Blog - https://peacefulmindpeacefullife.org/blog/

In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle tackle the habit of people pleasing, why so many of us fall into this habit, and how we can start to lovingly change gears. Barb and Michelle will give tips and tools on how you can care for yourself, while caring for the people in your life. 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at https://sites.libsyn.com/401972

Key Points:

• Be aware of where people pleasing is showing up in your life and your relationships.
• Get in touch with your feelings. 
• Understand your motive. 
• Communicate your needs clearly and kindly.
• Accept the outcome and release the judgment of that person or whatever happens. Accept your truth. 

In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle differentiate between happiness and joy, and how we can start to cultivate both, even during difficult times. With so much happening in the world around us, it’s easy to believe that happiness is out of reach. In this episode, Barb and Michelle talk about how to identify what brings us joy and how to release the guilt in doing so.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at https://sites.libsyn.com/401972

Key Points:

• Happiness comes from within.
• Guilt is a useless emotion.
• Journal what you are thinking.
•  Identify the things that bring us joy.
• We are all deserving of that feeling of joy and happiness.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• John O’Donahue - https://www.johnodonohue.com
• Thich Nhat Hanh – https://www.amazon.com/Thich-Nhat-Hanh/e/B000AP5YRY%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share

Are you someone who internalizes the actions and words of other people? Do you find yourself taking things very personally? If so, you’re not alone! It’s common to feel sensitive about what other people do, especially in how it relates to us. In this week’s episode, Michelle and Barb dive into how we can start to not take what people do personally, and find freedom in doing so.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at https://sites.libsyn.com/401972

Key Points:

• What is Triggered? -  Triggered means that someone has done something or said something that creates an emotion. This emotion could be rooted in a past trauma. It's a conditional behavioral response.
• Name it to tame it.
• Awareness is the key to life.
• Just Pause
• The Power of Choice

       Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Viktor Frankl – “Between stimulus and response there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response.”
• Michelle’s Blog - https://peacefulmindpeacefullife.org/blog/

We’ve all felt the pressure and expectation of body image and diet culture.  If we want to create changes in any aspect of our lives, it must start with us. In this week's episode, Barb and Michelle dive into body shaming and the language we use around speaking about each other's bodies. Barb vulnerably shares her own story and struggles with eating disorders, and her path to recovery.

Follow @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod.

Key Points:

• You are the boss of your own mind. 

• Connect with your body through yoga, meditation or however you feel best allows you to take a moment to be present and mindful.

• Are you HALTY? 

• Don’t allow yourself to become hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. 

• Take A Pause – Take a pause before you react

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Abby Wambach - WOLFPACK: How to Come Together, Unleash Our Power, and Change the Game

• Glennon Doyle - https://momastery.com 

• Thich Nhat Hanh - https://www.amazon.com/Thich-Nhat-Hanh/e/B000AP5YRY%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share 

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In this week's episode, Barb and Michelle guide us through ways to identify who those difficult people are and how you can manage your relationships with them and also learn how to tap in if you might be the difficult person yourself. With love of course.

Follow @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod.

Life can feel stressful and overwhelming. We all struggle from time-to-time and we are here to help you feel less alone, and maybe give you some tools to guide you through the tough stuff. Barb Knows Best hosts Barb Schmidt and Michelle Maros, a mother-daughter team, are here to invite you into this living room-style chat about life, happiness, and everything in between.

Barb and Michelle are the founders of the non-profit, Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life, which is dedicated to furthering ginner peace and wellness by educating and inspiring individuals. Barb and Michelle have started this podcast to provide you with a more intimate look into how they mindfully manage their daily lives and while facing the challenges of every day. Because as we know, Barb Knows Best!

Follow @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod

A sneak peek at what's ahead on BKB!