“I guess everyone is just happy for me to be born!” says Kelly. In this episode, the Moms gather at her house to celebrate her 41st birthday, the only one the show seems to celebrate, she points out. Leslie shows up late and continues to be entitled and to insult everyone before throwing her mic pac across the room and leaving. Christi continues to be annoyed by Leslie but can’t tell if she’s rolling her eyes in annoyance or from all the wine served in Kelly’s Lolita glasses. Christi says it was hard–particularly for their kids, who felt like they had to defend their mothers–to be called drunks on TV when it was so far from reality. Still, her favorite picture is of herself and Kelly standing next to a sign that says, “No Alcohol Beyond This Point,” which college kids across the country have blown up into banners and hung in their dorm rooms. 

Kelly rolls her eyes in this episode, too, but not at Payton dancing on stage during the Starbound competition in Atlanta like the show made it seem. Early on in the series, the Moms used to try to control their facial expressions so they couldn’t be taken out of context, but they gave up trying because the producers misrepresented them anyway.

Chloe returns from her school camping trip with a whole new confidence. Abby keeps calling her park ranger and Yogi Bear, despite the reference clearly going over Chloe’s head. She makes a dig at the Girl Scouts even though she was a Girl Scout herself and recently put her uniform up for auction. 

Quotes

• “Leslie was like a woodpecker just pecking at your brain the whole time she would set up there. And I think that we knew when to give each other a minute, the main cast. Sometimes like even when you're fighting, somebody just needs a minute. Like, let it breathe for a minute. She's just relentless. It's like a teenage boy when he first kisses you. And you think, ‘Whoa, whoa, buddy.’ Not so intense. Give me some breathing room.’” (46:34-47:11 | Christi)
• “I don't know if I rolled my eyes at Leslie or my eyes were just rolling around from all the drinking. One of my eyes was over here and the other one was this way, it was terrible. It was embarrassing to watch.” (1:21:23-1:23:25 | Christi)

Links

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“It’s like Cinderella:” says Christi of the latest episode of Dance Moms, “You can go to the ball if you get your work done, but I’m going to give you a lot more work.” The girls are headed to Akron, Ohio to compete against the Candy Apples including Kendall, who has recently joined after leaving Abby’s studio. Abby gives Paige a solo so that she can try for a title and thinks Paige should be thrilled, but Paige knows–like everyone else–that a solo means a week of torture. Especially since Abby does everything she can to make sure Paige can’t rehearse, including holding a random gymnastics class. Kelly notices that Abby was starting to make the Moms confront her in pairs of two so that she can use the camera time to say something nasty about both Moms’ children to the audience. 

Kelly decides to choreograph Paige’s dance herself with the little knowledge she has left over from her own years dancing with Abby. They have to practice in the dreaded Studio C because if they get caught in Studio A, Abby will get mad and not let Paige compete at all. Watching Paige perform her routine on stage, Christi says she never wanted someone to win so badly in her life, as she wanted Paige to win at that moment. Kelly thinks Paige should have won for going up against Abby and for all the times she was set up to fail for the sake of drama. 

Viewers figure out that Abby listens to the Back to the Barre podcast and has signed up to their Patreon just to keep insisting that she never threw a chair at Paige. Between Jill’s apple ring, Abby’s necklace that looks like bubble gum from a vending machine and her cheap orange rhinestones–that match Christi’s!--this episode gives the Moms plenty of reasons to drink.

Quotes

• “It’s like Cinderella: You can go to the ball if you get all your work done, but I’m going to give you a lot more work.” (51:31-51:37 | Christi) 
• “Here we are, now Chloe got practice all week, and now she's getting all these corrections in the pep talk. And Paige got, ‘Look at the judges.’ No practice all week and the only thing she's told is ‘Look at the judges.’ And Chloe's not going for a title. It’s just… it's bullshit. It's bullshit.” (1:12:38-1:13:01 | Kelly)

Links

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“This one’s interesting because Abby is nice,” says Christi of this special episode of Dance Moms, where Abby counts down her top ten favorite dances from the show so far. Unsurprisingly, Kelly and Christi can’t understand her choices. What is most surprising, though–shocking really–is the praise Abby heaps onto Chloe and Brooke during the episode. If she had spoken even a tenth of those words to them while they were still her students, Kelly insists, Brooke wouldn’t have ended up hating dance and may have ended up performing in Cirque du Soleil after all. Instead, she says, Abby always compared people, especially to their closest family members, something Kelly can’t understand and Christi knows still bothers many of those people to this day.

Among the dances in the countdown is the “Pinup Girls” trio performed by Choe, Paige and Maddie that, Christi points out,  is where it all began. In fact, the show was supposed to begin from a whole other angle, but the fighting and drama that stemmed from Chloe’s headband falling over her eyes was so good, producers knew they had to open with it. That, and Kelly reminds them, it featured the famous scene of the two of them sneaking off to the bar while Abby was attempting to organize things from the dressing room. Christi says the only thing that was remarkable about Chloe’s headband falling was that she still did a series of aerials while blinded. 

Discover which dances the Moms are sure would get them canceled today, which of Abby’s many annoying habits is one of Christi’s biggest pet peeves, and why Christi made Melissa sign a contract before she would work on Maddie’s costume. 

Quotes

• “Abby had great things to say. They must have offered her a bonus for what she was saying, because I'm telling you, it had to kill her. They said, ‘Every compliment you give, you get a $5,000 bonus. And she said, ‘Christie is my favorite and Kelly's smart.’”  (10:17-10:39 | Christi) 
• “Cathy, aka the hick from Ohio. Again, if I were from Ohio, I'd be so pissed. The whole show. Meanwhile, Ohio’s 30 centimeters over the Pittsburgh border, so if Cathy’s a hick, so are we.” (43:44-44:04 | Christi)

Links

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“These girls were being micro-analyzed,” says Christi about the pressure the girls continued to face as dancers and reality show stars. They’re competing at Starpower this week, the largest competition in the United States, Abby keeps reminding everyone. It’s so big, in fact, it’s split into two venues, and Abby sees an opportunity to sign Maddie up for two solos. Once again, she and Melissa form a secret plan to get Maddie ahead, use bad acting to cover it up, and everyone else has to keep their mouths shut and pretend their daughters have a chance to win. Brooke has taken the weekend off to attend her first school dance, which Kelly had to fight with producers to allow. She always made sure her girls didn’t miss out on big events for the sake of dance–or Dance Moms. Still, she and Christi feel guilty to this day for what they put their daughters through–as well as the rest of their kids–for the sake of both.

Kelly can’t share the moment with Brooke because producers need her at the dance studio to fight with Leslie. Payton returns to fill in for Brooke. And considering she had a costume custom-made for the competition, it is obvious that was a move planned by producers well in advance. Previously, Payton had pushed Paige flat on her back and producers saw it as an opportunity for Kelly to confront Leslie and start a fight with the whole group about bullying. 

Christi and Kelly discuss just how much these young dancers had riding on their shoulders, just from Abby alone. They suspect that immediately after every competition, producers showed Abby footage of each dance so she could analyze everyone’s mistakes. This is why Abby always arrived in the dressing room after everyone else with specific critiques that would have been impossible to see from the audience. 

Quotes

• “Isn’t it crazy to think that the baby from Dance Moms is now as old as the oldest from Dance Moms?” (35:35-35:42 | Christi)
• “We all know a lot of old routines. Why didn’t all the kids go over there and do them? We could have all done our real solos. Why couldn’t we do ‘Ma, He’s Making Eyes at Me,’ because that dance beat “Cry” a bunch of times in real life. Or Paige and Brooke could have done their solos that they didn’t get to do two weeks before.” (1:02:13-1:02:36 | Christi and Kelly) 

Links

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“This is all bad acting,” says Christi about the episode of Dance Moms titled “I Know What You Did Last Competition.” Like a pair of detectives, she and Kelly spend this episode of Back to the Barre pointing out all the behaviors that gave Melissa and Abby away as cheaters and (bad) liars. Abby and Melissa had conspired before the previous competition to scratch the cd containing Maddie’s choreography music, knowing that judges would automatically declare Maddie the winner just for completing the dance uninterrupted. In this latest Dance Moms episode, Abby wields her trademark hypocrisy, Melissa uses clever wording and the two stage an over-the-top fake fight to try to cover it up. Nobody’s buying it, though, especially with all they’ve learned in the last 11 years.

The inherent problem with Dance Moms–and one of the many reasons they both agree children shouldn’t participate in reality TV— is that the Moms are paid to fight, but Abby would take those fights out on their daughters. So Chloe, Paige and Brooke were constantly punished because Kelly and Christi carried the show. Abby knew this and took full advantage of it. Every week, the Hylands  were set up–by Abby and the producers— to look stupid. This week, Abby used the costumes to humiliate them, putting the girls in the wrong sizes and not letting Paige wear the green dress so she could stand out. 

These days Abby hocks counterfeit versions of Paige’s costumes and props online. The real ones remain packed away in Kelly’s house. Christi shares her favorite-ever Lifetime movie and the random words that make her sick. 

Quotes

• “There are a lot of little clues–if you know Abby and Melissa–throughout this episode that I really caught on to…Normally in a situation like this Abby would have thrown it in the girls’ faces, but here she wants to move on. She just dismissed it because…she would have looked guilty.” (20:51-21:23 | Kelly and Christi)
• “Abby tells the audience that she’s going to take the contract that I signed and make me read it, because she doesn’t think I read. I don’t read. And let me tell you, if I was going to read something it sure as hell wouldn’t be her contract.” (32:36-32:48 | Kelly)
• “This fight reads so insincere and fake from Melissa. Go back and watch it. It’s so not real.” (41:57-42:09 | Christi)

Links

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“Every woman in America has this on her refrigerator,” says Christi of yet another line that Kelly uttered in pure frustration that would go on to become one of the most quoted lines in Dance Moms history. Kelly and the other Moms have been spending extra time making costumes that they pay Abby to provide while Abby sits eating in the McDonald’s parking lot. When Kelly fails to get rubber stoppers for the chair Paige was using in her dance number (which Kelly explains was a setup by production) Abby throws the chair at Paige in frustration. Kelly barges into the studio and screams at Abby “Stop eating! That’s why you’re fat!” and storms out, taking Brooke and Paige with her.

Now that they’re filming the show, Abby doesn’t need Melissa’s money and Melissa doesn’t have time to work at the studio’s front desk. So, while Maddie is technically on the bottom of the pyramid this week because she forgot her steps at the last competition, she is also there–as Christi points out–because Melissa hasn’t been sucking up as much to Abby lately.

Given their long history, Kelly knew instantly what Abby was up to, though no one believed her at the time. She talks about how flustered she felt being made to look like she had failed her daughter because she couldn’t reveal production’s mistake on camera. She also points out the hypocrisy of the fans’ negative reaction to her calling Abby fat while Abby calls her idiot and stupid multiple times per episode, often screaming inches from their face.

Quotes

• “Your experience was giving me heart palpitations. You know how they say that if you have a twin that you can feel their ghost pain? I was that way with all the Moms.” (41:09-41:23 | Christi)
• “I crack up every time I see those shots of the cameraman running after us. I know they hate life.” (46:26-46:31 | Christi)
• “Here's my favorite: Abby says, ‘You were a mean girl when you were 12 and you're still a mean girl.’ She just threw a chair at a child.” (48:17-48:27 | Christi)
• “People get mad at me because I called Abby fat. Once. She calls me stupid and dingbat three times an episode.” (1:23:39-1:23:46 | Kelly)

Links

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“You can tell that things are starting to take a dark turn,” says Christi of this episode of Dance Moms. Abby is starting to take her already toxic tactics to a new extreme. To punish Chloe for winning the Joffrey ballet scholarship and for getting a solo this week, Abby makes her stand at the front of the studio while the other girls critique her. She triangulates Chloe, Brooke and Maddie against each other, telling each one that they are the team’s true leader while also implying they are each its weakest link. She threatens to have Christi arrested and thrown off the show. 

Of course, Abby can’t take criticism herself. Kelly tells her that her choreography is getting stale, voicing a complaint held by many on the team. Chloe and Brooke had each complained that all of their dances were the same moves in varying order. Additionally, this made them even more difficult to learn in the few hours that the girls (other than Maddie) were given to learn them. 

Rather than receive this input like an adult, Abby corrects Kelly’s grammar, screaming inches from her face, “Christi and I!!” This phrase was quickly added to the Dance Moms fandom lexicon and is still a frequent inside joke between Christi and Kelly. Showing the team who their true leader is, Abby abandons them at the competition in Upland, CA and heads to Florida.                                     

Quotes

• “I think all of our light and bright fun might be coming to an end.” (10:51-10:54 | Christi) 
• “Holly said it best: Abby is an abomination of evil.” (18:35-18:42 | Christi)
• “Chloe and Abby are wearing matching outfits. They're both wearing blue with rhinestone crap. Chloe actually has blue rhinestone earrings on so we need to drink because I'm ashamed.” (58:41-58:52 | Christi)
• “So Abby tells me that I'm always unhappy. And I just say, ‘Abby, your choreography sucks.’” (1:35:56-1:36:02 | Kelly)
• “I remember looking over and seeing Abby in your face. I can vividly remember my perspective. So it was really weird for me to see it on camera from a different angle because I'm standing on the other side of you. It’s burned in my memory how close she was to your face.” (1:37:38-1:38:01 | Christi)

Links

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“Didn’t you just want to smack Abby?” says Kelly while reviewing this special episode of Dance Moms– the top-20 countdown of “Abby’s Most OMG Moments." Christi is happy to report that this was the second-lowest rated episode of Season 2, despite Abby’s insistence that fans only tuned into the show to watch her. Watching this countdown made the cast aware of several things they had never realized about the show. Kelly realizes how funny Holly really is and that Leslie only complained shout Peyton’s outfit to get more screen time.

Christi and Kelly get to the root of Abby’s insults– she always ridicules the thing she is jealous of– Holly’s education, Cathy’s business savvy and her much younger husband, and all of their children. Recently, Christi saw a picture of Abby’s mother as a young woman and noted that Mrs. Miller looked a lot like Paige and Brooke–the two main targets of Abby’s wrath. 

Abby’s jealousy doesn’t end there–or anywhere it seems. She also hated that producers loved Kelly’s mother’s cooking so much they asked her to cater for the show. She was jealous of the professional management teams the girls began to hire as they became famous, and she threw a 30 minute tantrum when producers failed to offer her a donut.

Quotes

• “So that just goes to show maybe people weren't tuning in for Abby. Maybe they liked our girls. Who knows?” (11:03-11:10 | Christi)
• “Holly’s funny. I don’t remember her being so funny. I don’t remember Holly being so funny. When we filmed she very rarely spoke.” (24:23-24:34 | Kelly) SM Quote
• “Anytime there was a dumb errand, Abby would send us. Meanwhile, joke's on you. I can't wait to get the hell out there. Yeah, amen.” (27:06-27:13 | Christi)
• “Somebody posted a picture of Mrs. Miller when she was young. She surprisingly looked like Chloe and Paige– tall, thin, beautiful. She was very pretty. They said, maybe that's why Abby hated those two. (33:29-33:47 | Christi) 
• “My mother was just the sweetest, kindest woman. There was not a person in the world that didn't like my mother. Abby only stopped liking her when she started catering the show. She sure as hell didn’t mind eating her cookies for the last 30 years.” (54:24-54:47 | Kelly and Christi)
• “Oh, didn’t you want to just smack Abby? I should have smacked her right then, I could have gotten out of two seasons of filming.” (57:12-57:20 | Kelly)

Links

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“There was a lot of infantilizing of Kendall,” says James Mahan, former “Dance Moms” producer and the rare genuine friend that Kelly and Christi maintain from their days on the show. He returns to share more behind-the-scenes perspectives and brand new stories. Some of his observations a casual fan could make, like noticing that Jill only ever refers to her daughter as “little.” On the other hand, he explains the complicated politics behind staging competitions on reality TV. Christi shares the conspiracy theory that diehard, deep-diving fans of the show have developed as to why Maddie famously forgot her steps.

They all laugh at the memory of Abby insisting that everyone awkwardly shoehorn the name of the studio into all on-camera conversations  and that they wear nothing but her merch while filming. They admire the clever way Cathy always managed to get around this. 

The girls start this “Dance Moms” episode by performing for the judges at the Joffrey, and end up at the Starbound Dance Competition in Paramus. 

Quotes

• “I just feel like every time I did an interview with Jill, she’d say, “Kendall’s a beautiful little dancer. It was always ‘little.’ You’d hear that word in every interview. There was a lot of infantilizing of Kendall that happened.” (16:18-16:40 | James, Christy and Kelly)
• “Abby would not say ‘Candy Apples’ on camera because she didn't want to promote Cathy’s business. But we always had to say ALDC. I like that Kathy found a way around saying ‘Abby Lee Dance Company.’ So Cathy and Abby both were quite funny about not giving the other any free publicity.” (26:40-27:03) | Christi and James)
• “Am I allowed to chew gum in Jersey? Because I got yelled at once for chewing gum in New York. She yelled at me that it wasn't Jersey.” (33:55-34:01 | Christi)
• “It was hilarious when Jill said, ‘Kendall looks like an angel. A little angel.’  Jill, she's actually dressed as an angel. So, yeah she did.. So did all the other kids in the dance.” (41:54-42:18 | Christi)

Links

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“I hear and validate your frustrations,” says former Dance Moms producer James Mahan. He joins today’s episode to discuss some of the funniest behind-the-scenes moments with Christi and Kelly, and confirm some of their long-standing issues. The off-screen banter between Christi and James during the show’s filming resulted in some of Christi’s funniest on-screen moments. The majority of James’ time was spent fighting with Abby. He had to convince her to stop ripping off famous dance routines, not make obscure dance references that the audience wouldn’t understand, and to let someone other than Maddie be on top of the pyramid every week. 

On this episode of Dance Moms, the girls are in New York to audition for the prestigious Joffrey Ballet School. Abby tries to teach them two years’ worth of ballet in an hour. Maddie gets upset when she realizes that she forgot her ballet shoes at the hotel. The cruelty many of the show’s producers showed to the girls when they were at their most upset was what made James leave reality TV. But the cast loved him because he acted like a real human, unlike many of the show’s other producers. 

Hear James tell the story that he calls “the nail in the coffin,” and the one where he got hit by a car in slow motion while walking back to his hotel after a Madonna concert. 

Quotes:

• “I would conduct interviews after we'd filmed the week. My interviews were with Christi and Kelly, sometimes Dr. Holly and Abby. Brooke, Paige and I were pretty close. So I was able to work with them and have it sound natural. Because there's an art to the interview and you have to remind people of what happened to get them to talk about the events to make it sound natural.” (17:25-18:04 | James)
• “We are not the cutest. We’re just disgusted. Always. All the time. Just in a state of absolute disgust.” (28:55-29:05 | Kelly and Christi) 
• “The knock-off choreography from Chicago was a little foreshadowing of Abby's little stint in prison. Or we can say it's foreshadowing of Kelly getting arrested in the Bronx.” (32:28-32:49 | Christi, Kelly, James) 
• “Paige says it's weird being in jail because she’s never been there before. Well, thank goodness, Paige. You’re 11.” (33:16-33:26 | Kelly) 
• “We were visiting in LA and we were in the editing booth. And I remember seeing somebody reach up and pull a piece of paper off the wall that basically had our names and what our characters were because they didn't want me to see it. It wouldn't be that hard to figure out. Christy: jealous. Kelly: party mom.” (39:17-39:38 | Christi)
• “I mean, a gay club loves a Dance Mom. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. Oh, it's been proven.” (50:22-50:28 | Christi and James)
• “I block out a lot of things, James. I don't remember a lot of stuff. There's something to be said for selective memory.” (53:59-54:06 | Kelly and James)
• “When I'm on my home computer our audience says Christi looks like I'm a news anchor and Kelly looks like she's a remote correspondent in Afghanistan. I don't care if you don't like it. Don't watch me. Because it was a war zone in the ALDC. It was a war zone. That's why I have this background.” (1:02:56-1:03:20 | Kelly and Christi) 

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“You know who gives them body image issues? Abby,” says Kelly of this latest episode of Dance Moms. A scout from the prestigious Joffrey ballet company will be the audience of this week’s competition. Oddly, Abby chooses to choreograph a gymnastics-heavy number with a plastic surgery/body insecurity theme called “Nip/Tuck”. This leads to Christi and Kelly discussing what plastic surgery they and Abby have and haven’t had. Christi credits botox with transforming her signature “angry eyes,” Kelly believes the show still owes her a boob job and they both agree that Abby has had so much work done on her face since the show began that she’s now unrecognizable. During the show, Abby warns the girls not to grow up to look like their mothers. Christi reveals the truly despicable manner in which Abby used the girls to poke at their mothers’ insecurities.

Maddie takes after her mother in that they both continue to receive special treatment. Maddie gets extra time and personalized attention from Abby that allows her to perfect her solos. Producers let Melissa opt out of filming whenever she gets uncomfortable. This leaves the other Moms to fight, confess and cause the drama that makes the show a hit and Maddie a star. When Nia injures her foot, Abby treats the situation much differently than when the other girls were hurt. 

If there’s a bright spot amidst all the chaos it’s the cheese log and chicken wings at Mohan’s. Christi and Kelly’s love of lobster is fulfilled at the airport hotdog stand where they eat bisque squeezed out of a plastic bag.

Quotes

• “It’s always about Abby. It’s always about her. Except when things go wrong. Then it’s about everybody else.” (12:51-12:59 | Christi and Kelly)
• “I can tell when I'm doing a pickup because I am the world's worst actress. Give me all the Razzies.” (14:25-14:31 | Christi)
• “Abby tells us the name of the group dance and I am scowling. That’s back when I still could scowl because I didn’t have Botox.” (19:15:-19:19 | Christi) 
• “God forbid the producers had gotten me a free boob job. They gave us a $15 lunch, you think they were going to you boobs? Please. But they’re driving around in Maseratis. (20:43-21:02 | Kelly and Christi)
• “I think we’re supposed to be trying to teach our girls to be comfortable in their own skin and not change that skin. Well, look I’m going to get back on that because I’ve changed my skin a few times. So, do whatever you want to do to make you happy.” (25:45-21:57 | Christi)
• “If your kids get to be the superstars of the show, you need to step up and say things, too. Because we as the moms are carrying the drama and your kids are benefitting.” (59:37-59:48 | Christi)
• “I’m going to tell you something that Chloe has said to me time and time again: the dances were so hard to remember because it was the same steps every week just in a different order. That’s why it was so easy to mess them up. No wonder they got confused.” (1:18:13-1:18:39 | Christi and Kelly)

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“If we all got lawyers then there wouldn’t have been a show,” says Kelly about this episode of Dance Moms where Melissa sends the other Moms cease and desist letters. In the viewing room, the Moms had asked Melissa why she wasn’t wearing her engagement ring, and Melissa stormed out, while getting in touch with her lawyers. Abby lashes out at both the kids and the Moms in defense of Melissa. This scene sums up one of Christi’s fundamental disagreements with the show: the hypocrisy and double standards for different people. Melissa signed up for the same reality show that Christi and Kelly did, yet she hides behind Abby and doesn’t play ball, leaving Christi and Kelly to carry the show, engage in the kind of conflict the viewers tune in for, and as a result, look jealous and petty. Christi reveals the real reason Melissa wasn’t wearing her engagement ring, why she was so defensive, and the real ‘they’ Melissa was referring to on the phone.

Nia has a spot in the trio and is so excited about it. All the Moms want her to do well, especially because they know Abby will make her a scapegoat if things go wrong. Taylor, one of Cathy’s Candy Apples gets injured, and Cathy immediately wonders how well Kendall will be able to fill Taylor’s shoes. 

Everyone is wearing so much faux fur, ugly sequins and junky jewelry that Kelly can only touch her cocktail to her lips as she reviews, for fear of passing out. Abby continues to be a verbally abusive hypocrite, her desk remains a waste hazard and she carries her pizza box like it’s a book.

Quotes 

• “Everyone just thinks we're being bitches. No, there's a lot more to it than what you think. So this is a good episode for us to give behind-the-scenes takes on things because I think people are going to say, ‘Oh, that makes a lot more sense than what we've watched.’” (10:07-10:21 | Christi)
• “Honestly, our big night out always was Saturday nights after we finished filming. And we were always so exhausted. We would go and lay in a hotel room, drink wine, and have dinner. Sometimes we’d go out to dinner. Or the mall. We went to the mall a lot with the girls. Yeah, because we were gone and needed clothes.” (20:43-21:09 | Christi and Kelly)
• “We either had no time to eat, or all we did was eat our feelings.” (30:45-30:48 | Christi)
• “Abby repeats that she chose this topic since the girls are privileged. And a lot of kids their age aren't. Yeah, who else's parents can 16 grand a year on dance? Yeah, just a bunch of assholes.” (52:02-52:14 | Kelly and Christi)
• “I just want to point out how excited the producers were that there was an ambulance involved. Oh, yeah. They were really excited. Blood. Ambulance. Drama. Yeah.” (1:24:03-1:24:13 | Christi)
• “We should have gotten a lawyer to protect us. And we wouldn't have been in the positions we are, but the show also wouldn’t be what it is.” (1:28:01-1:28:15 | Kelly) 
• “Happy holidays if we don't see you. Kisses. I hope Santa puts you on the good list. I'm not sure about us. I think we're on the bad list. Naughty list for the win. At least you'll be in the pit next to me in hell.” (1:33:48-1:34:05 | Christi and Kelly) 

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“All of those things that we said, it was really nothing. It was just us being us,” says Christi of the exchange between herself and Kelly that would become a viral sensation on TikTok more than a decade later. Christi’s daughter Clara would repeat the meme to Christi in the car, not realizing she was quoting her own mother. 

In this episode of Dance Moms, the competition takes place in Miami. Paige has surgery for her plantar warts and doesn’t know if she will recover in time enough to compete. So naturally, Abby chooses this week to give Paige a special part in the dance whereas normally Paige is left out, and Abby makes her rehearse it on sore feet instead of just letting her observe. Normally, Abby just harasses the girls verbally and psychologically to keep them off of the top of the pyramid.

In another change from the norm, Abby takes a break from screaming at Kelly and Christi and screams at Holly, who, normally quiet and reserved, screams right back. In fact, according to Christi that fight was much longer and much uglier than what was shown on TV, even causing the girls to hide and cry in the bathroom. Meanwhile, in Ohio, Cathy gently and constructively corrects Kendall’s technique in a way Abby never has.

Everyone spends the day at the beach before the competition and Abby is the only one who wasn’t forced to wear a bathing suit on camera. She is, however, much more orange than anyone else. Nia has a dramatic moment on stage. 

Quotes

• “They show Chloe and Nia doing ‘The Swim’ and they're laughing and having fun and I think, ‘More of this! More of this!’ It’s cute!” (19:56-20:05 | Christi)
• “Why did two kids have three dances and other kids didn't have one? It's not fair to the kids who don't have the dance, but then it's also too hard on the kids that do. There is a balance: give each kid two dances a week. And then they're not out. They don't forget, and then people don't feel bad. And guess what? Everyone watching the show has different favorites that they want to see.” (21:37: 22:07 | Christi)
• “Abby tells us she wants to take the girls back to the era of innocence. I mean, I think after having them be naked show girls, innocence is great.” (27:04-27:12 | Christi) 
• “Abby and Holly are down there screaming and they cut to us upstairs. I'm texting with one hand on my phone, drinking my coffee, (air quotes) with the other hand, you're kind of staring off into space, Melissa's glazed over. We're not even fazed at that point that they're screaming. They're screaming at the top of their lungs and we're just sitting there thinking, ‘Thank God it's not me.’” (34:38-35:02 | Christi)
• “Then we have one of the most iconic scenes ever to come out of Dance Moms. You and I are sitting upstairs and I say, ‘And then there were two. Nobody likes us. The two bitches are left.’ That's so funny. I mean, who would have thought something as stupid as that would get so popular?” (38:34- 39:03 | Christi and Kelly) 
• “You can't replace us and we can't leave, either. So we're all screwed.” (41:44-41:51 | Kelly)
• “Holly looks like she wants to shoot herself. I know. I've been in that position. You know you have to go back. And producers make you be the idiot– not Abby calling and asking me to come back. It has to be us begging please. Take her. Please, please.” (49:14-49:32 | Kelly)
• “Abby clearly got a spray tan for Miami because she's aggressively orange. She's so aggressively orange.” (59:45-59:54 | Christi)

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

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“We should be in prison for ever being part of this episode,” says Christi of the “lost” episode of Dance Moms titled, shockingly, ‘Topless Dancers,’ in which Abby has the girls perform in costumes that give the illusion of nudity. Needless to say, the Moms were shocked and fought hard with the producers not to film this. Even by Abby’s standards, which have seen the girls perform themes of teen suicide, guns, and childbirth, this was too much. Audiences clearly agreed, and the show only aired only once. A fan sent a link to Christi and Kelly and here they react to it in real time. 

If Chloe wasn’t humiliated enough by her dance costume, she is also participating in a commercial for Cathy’s husband’s beef jerky startup. This involves her being covered in sausages, a takeoff of the infamous meatsuit that Lady Gaga wore around the time of filming. 

Things are so absurd that even Holly speaks up, and though it will be lost forever to time, she is even seen wearing a sexy sheer top in place of her usual conservative attire. 

Quotes

“We fought pretty hard against this. And I again, I can't say much, but let's just say it was strongly advised that we keep our mouths shut.” (5:08-5:15 | Christi)

“I can't with Abby's necklace. I can't. It's like a barbed wire fence. It looks like what they put at the top of a prison fence.” (17:08-17:15 | Christi and Kelly)

“I do look like an Oscar trophy, With my my yellow hair and my gold shirt. Yeah, I'm an Oscar.  And the Academy Award goes to us for pretending like Melissa's not getting married.” (30:42-30:57 Kelly and Christi)

“I remember the girls standing in the hallway, and they did not want to walk in that room. They were so mortified and upset standing there.” (52:27-52:42 | Christi and Kelly)

“The funniest thing is this was aired one time. One time. You can't even find this episode. Do you know how often I'm asked about the beef jerky thing? I'm asked everywhere I go.” (1:06:28-1:06:41 | Christi)

“No wonder people watch this because nobody can believe that we actually did this stuff, that this was real. No one could believe their eyes.” (1:07:05-1:07:13 | Christi and Kelly) 

Links

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Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Links

Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w 

Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre

Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

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“This is only episode 8 of Season 2 and Jill’s already walked out,” says Christi of this latest episode of Dance Moms. This week, Nia is at the top of the pyramid and she’ll be dancing a solo to a bridal theme. It’s inspired by Melissa’s engagement, despite Melissa trying hard to keep it a secret. Christi finds this hilarious considering Melissa will openly tell everyone other private things they’d rather not know about. The Moms go wedding dress shopping, and we find out an intimate detail about Kelly.

Meanwhile, Jill has left Abby’s studio in a huff and enrolled Kendall at Candy Apples, putting Kendall in direct competition with her friends. By the end of the episode, Dance Moms' greatest rivalry has begun. Not between Cathy and Abby, but Cathy and Jill. 

Christi talks about her husband’s refusal to appear on the show. He worked at a children’s hospital and the show was still considered controversial, with Abby being emotionally and verbally abusive toward children including his own daughter. They tell a story that explains why everyone in Pittsburgh hates Abby. 

Quotes

“You know, the best thing I can do if I'm not in a good place emotionally is go rehash the worst days of my life. I like it. Exactly.  It makes this time of our lives good.” (7:04-7:12 | Christi)

“In Abby's interview, did you notice how her hair looked like she had a helmet on? It was teased but then it was perfectly smooth. We're getting into the Delta Burke hair era.” (13:49-14:06 | Christi) 

“And Abby knows something's going on with Melissa. She has a secret. But my secret is Abby looks like a sea witch in this interview.” (22:46-22:55 | Kelly and Christi)

“Melissa doesn't wear a ring; you don't wear undies. Noted.” (36:29-36:33 | Christi) SM Quote

“Melissa will tell you anything about any body part you want to know, but don't ask about that ring.” (50:29-50:34 | Christi)

Links

Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w 

Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre

Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“The whole thing made me sick,” says Christi of a key moment in this episode of Dance Moms. For Kelly, it’s the moment where her relationship to Abby began to change. The two discuss how, more than a decade later, they feel physically ill watching it, and still need to reassure themselves that their now grown children are OK. 

Which isn’t to say there isn’t plenty to laugh about, as always. Jill’s latest attempt to suck up to Abby only proves that she and Kendall don’t know Abby at all. Jill repeatedly frustrates everyone so much that Christi’s voice squeaks, Holly lets out a rare eye roll, while Kelly says nothing but gets blamed for it all. 

Christi and Kelly give themselves long overdue credit for their makeup skills and discuss their failed personal beauty attempts over the years. 

Quotes

“Guns! Guns!! Because that’s what every nine to eleven year old should be playing with on the stage.” (10:50-10:58 | Christi and Kelly)

“I want to know what is up with Jill constantly harping on Holly not being there. I don't remember that in real life. I don't remember that being a point that was brought up over and over at all. And I kind of wish that I had remembered it, because I definitely would have jumped on that argument.” (26:29-26:47 | Christi)

“Abby is doing the exact same thing to Paige, with her being on top of the pyramid, that she did with Chloe the week she was at the top of the pyramid. She's going to torture them until they can't stand it because she's pissed that they're at the top.” (40:24-40:38 | Christi)

“Someone asked when did my relationship with Abby start changing? This is what it is: my kids look at me saying, ‘Help me.’ There's nothing worse than your child to look at you with that look, and you not being able to do anything about it. I just can't even explain the feeling that you have when that happens. (42:21-42:42 | Kelly)

“For all the moms listening: What would you do in that situation? I either let my daughter be in there looking up at me like, ‘Mom, please come and save me’ and my daughter in tears. Or I go down and they get her out, but then she's afraid to go in because I got her in trouble.” (46:44-47:03 | Kelly)

“Chloe's home today. She came home for the weekend and she was sleeping on my couch when I was watching this. And the entire time I was watching I was so upset for Chloe, I kept going over to her on the couch just touching her foot while she was sleeping and thinking, ‘Okay, you're okay. It still makes you feel like an actual physical reaction all these years later.” (49:27-49:55 | Christi)

I'm gonna start using all these tips and tricks that I learned back in the day on myself when I go to the beach. I'm painting my abs on, and I'll be good. I just can't go in the water because it will wash all off. But I mean, why don't we apply our skills to ourselves?” (1:08:45-1:09:01 | Christi and Kelly)

“What's rude about that though, is every week we let those little bitches look great on national television. We did their hair and makeup. They didn’t trust us, but they always looked fabulous. We did it.” (1:10:15-1:10:25 | Christi and Kelly)

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“This one was a no-drinker for me; this one was easy,” Christi says of the latest Back to the Barre recap. Probably because Jill does all the heavy lifting in this Dance Moms episode. Jill doesn’t shut up, she can’t follow the rules, particularly when it comes to the assignment for this week’s costume, and she ends up throwing a chair across a dressing room in Texas.

Maddie falls while competing on the slick gym floor and the show presents it in the most melodramatic way possible, despite the previous scene in which Abby tells Nia that dancers power through their pain. In fact, Paige broke her foot backstage and wasn’t allowed to go to the hospital until she finished dancing. And still, according to Abby, she and the rest of the girls are lazy slugs. 

Find out what Abby does that Christi considers the scariest thing ever, and the infamous clause in the ALDC contract that Abby makes her most successful students sign, with a major (ahem) cash-only penalty. 

Quotes

“Abby's disappointed because the energy level could have been higher. And you can't have a bunch of slugs on stage. Slugs. Meanwhile, she would lay in bed in the morning while those slugs were in school all day, waiting to film. Yeah. And then let somebody come and do her makeup while she was laying in bed.” (11:52-12:17 | Christi and Kelly) 

“These kids should be like diamonds at this point with all the pressure. Well, they are diamonds, they are. Every one of them.” (14:10-14:17 | Christi) 

“Jill says that she's tired of rules, and her actions dictating Kendall’s experience. Well, hm. That's the whole premise of the show. So I don't know what you signed up for. “(20:50-21:03 | Christi)

“There was a part of her contract that said–because she had somebody burn her, I won't say who, I'll tell you later—if you were a title winner, if you renege on your title or back out or whatever, you have to pay her $100,000 in cash. Within seven days. Why does it have to be cash? Hmm. So she doesn't have to show it.” (21:18-21:42 | Christi and Kelly)

“I'm just glad that you told Jill to shut up. She was so offended by me telling her that, but she never stopped talking!” (26:58-27:05 | Kelly)

“We see Abby at the desk, and she answers the phone and a guy asks for Abby Lee Miller. And she's so nervous. And I'm thinking, you would have thought if a guy was calling and asking for her, she’d be excited. Yeah. She knew it wasn't for that.” (35:32-35:48 | Christi and Kelly)

“Holly comes into the audience and she's telling us what's going on with Nia. But Kelly, you are picking your teeth. Probably after lunch, I'm surprised I didn't have dental floss. That’s just like me shoving the cracker, the food, in my car because you forget that you're on camera and you're being a normal human. Put it on national television. Why wouldn't they edit that out?I swear they look for that kind of stuff. (50:36-51:23 | Christi and Kelly)

“Jill’s running down the hall yelling, ‘Kendall, honey, baby, do a front aerial right here honey, please. You need to stay stretched.’ And Kendall just throws in a side aerial but Jill’s running, saying, ‘K, just you know, honey…’ and I'm thinking, ‘We are psychotic. We're literally psychotic.” (54:15-54:31 | Christi)

“Abby's really happy because now everyone in Texas knows her name because of the girls’ talent and our costuming.” (1:02:52-1:03:01 | Christi)

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“This surprise just made me want to puke, I don't know about you,” Kelly says about this episode which refers to Jill gifting Abby a massage as a way to get into Abby’s good graces and move Kendall to the front of the group performance. As gross as Kelly and Christi find the whole thing, they tell the story of the time they had their own (semi) naked ‘couples’ massage. Jill will do anything to get ‘my little Kendall’ ahead (this Dance Moms episode marks the debut of the infamous phrase), while Melissa does the same for her kids, but tries to deny it. Kelly and Christi continue to be team players and Abby continues to punish them for it. 

Jill continues to feel entitled to special treatment for Kendall despite being with the ALDC for five minutes, and Leslie, who hasn’t been there much longer, expects the same for Peyton. Brooke is back, having chosen dance over cheerleading (which never really happened and Brooke just stayed home for a week). Abby guilt trips Brooke and burns her pom poms in the parking lot, (in a scene which didn’t air) but still gives her a solo in which she portrays an alien.

Christi and Kelly walk us through Abby’s ‘scariest pep talk ever,’ tell us which producer always had his eye on what medication everyone was taking, and the time a fan handed Christi drugs. 

Quotes

“It needs to be addressed that the place where they took the child to talk to the dance teacher is called Flowers in the Attic. ‘Flowers in the Attic’ was the book that’s all about incest and child abuse and murder!” (7:02-7:15 | Christi)

“This is the episode—they didn't show it–but Abby set Brooke’s pom poms on fire in the parking lot.” (26:20-26:28 | Christi)

“Jill always turned things to Kendall, always. It was on the show, but I don't even know if she was encouraged to do that. She just naturally did it.” (27:49-28:05 | Christi)

“Melissa was very smart about what she did on camera. She would do stuff off-camera, and then when we confronted her on camera, it always made it look like we were just mean and jealous.” (39:13-39:27 | Christi)

“I can almost respect Jill more because she just says, ‘Yeah, I'm going to do what I need to get my kid ahead,’ but Melissa denied it. And that's where I thought, ‘Just own up to it.’ And she would always deflect and say it was Abby.” (46:51-47:04 | Christi)

“Melissa's kids are clearly successful. So maybe I should have been more like her. But I also feel that I've really stuck by what I thought was morally right. So yeah, you know, whatever.” (48:01-48:17 | Christi)

“So now is the second time in this episode we learned that Abby Lee Miller is not put on this Earth to make our kids feel special. But Abby Lee Miller is put on this Earth to give GPS directions.” (1:28:22-1:28:34 | Kelly) 

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“It’s ironic that Abby chooses bullying given her method of teaching,” Christi says about the theme of this episode’s dance. Abby has it out for almost everyone this week. She’s upset that Chloe is at the top of the pyramid instead of Maddie, and is determined to throw Chloe off of her game before the next competition. She’s mad at Paige for her error in last week’s number, so removes Paige from her place in the “sacred trio” and humiliates her for hours at the studio. And there’s her usual bag of tricks: hurling nasty insults, taking out on the girls her issues with their mothers because she is too cowardly to confront the moms directly, and punishing everyone for doing exactly what she asked them to do. Only this week her voice is somehow extra creepy. 

Joining the dance is Peyton, whose mom Leslie demonstrates why she earned her place as one of the biggest bullies in Dance Moms history. She grills Christi and Kelly at lunch about why they choose to keep bringing their kids to Abby’s studio if she treats them so badly. Holly, as the principal of a prestigious school, has a zero tolerance policy for bullying. She also isn’t comfortable with the stereotype being perpetuated by having Nia perform the role of the bully in the dance, and so removes her.

Kelly and Christi admit to taking low blows at Abby’s body, but they say that given the things Abby has said to their kids over the years (which the audience hasn’t heard a fraction of) they are justified. 

Quotes

“I want to point out that when Peyton comes in, our kids are the nicest damn children. They run to her. They jump on her. They hug her. They're so excited. Our kids are never jerks to anybody who comes into the studio, ever.” (22:24-22:38 | Christi)

“One thing I can say, Chloe's 21, she has been through 150 years of school. She's had 7000 teachers. I have never heard a teacher say anything except that she's the nicest kid. And here's this asshole.” (29:46-39:55 | Christi and Kelly)

“I love how Leslie always brings up that she's been there for four years. Like she deserves to be there because she's been there for four years. I'm thinking of myself. Four years?! I've been here for like 36!” (33:18-33:31 | Kelly)

“I could have cared less about them having a trio and Paige not being in it. It was the fact that she was rubbing it in her face. Yes, Abby was rubbing it in her face and torturing the child.” (35:28-35:39 | Kelly)

“I just wonder, since she and Abby are so close, I wonder how Abby would feel to know that Leslie's trying to get rid of some of her paying customers.” (40:31-40:39 | Christi)

“We've been to so many places because every weekend we went somewhere different on the show. And my kids don't even know half the places we went. Because you know what? You never saw anything. You got there. You went to the competition and you left like so. We saw some mediocre hotel rooms, is what we saw. Two stars.” (43:18-43:37 | Kelly and Christi) 

“Abby always made it that she was the star and the rest of us were just minions. And I think, these kids have a name, too.’ And she says, ‘No, Christi. When they're on stage, people think, ‘Those are Abby Lee's kids.’” (56:20-56:40 | Christi) 

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“They hand her pom poms and she’s on the field like, ‘What am I doing?’ says Christi, of the essence of the third episode of Dance Moms’ second season. Brooke may start at the top of the pyramid this week, but she ends up being thrown under the bus along with Kelly. The episode, like many Dance Moms episodes to follow, revolves around a small bit of truth that producers exaggerated into a completely false narrative. In real life, Brooke mentions that she’s thinking of doing cheerleading instead of dance, and Kelly expresses a sincere desire to make sure Brooke doesn’t miss out on normal milestones. Producers spin this into setting up a fake cheerleading audition for Brooke, and making it seem like it took Brooke away for the whole weekend, missing the competition and letting the whole team down. Kelly explains how none of this was real, and the huge disparity between what producers let the other mothers get away with and what they punished her for.

Christi and Kelly share more behind the scenes trade secrets. Interviews are done the week after an episode’s footage is filmed and they could tell the direction an episode was going in based on the interview questions. Sometimes they were so eager to get it over with they would say whatever the producers wanted them to.

Christi can’t believe that Cathy was allowed to push her and put her hands on her and get away with it, especially considering that those same actions would be enough to cause Kelly and Abby’s most infamous fight and all of the damage that resulted from it. They share the repulsive costume idea Abby originally had for the Born to Dance costumes. 

Quotes

“Listen, when you go through the trenches with someone, you're joined for life. And there were times–and we'll definitely talk about this,--- especially when we talk about the episode that we had that big fight in—.we were together more than we were with our husbands.” (9:06-9:22 | Christi)

“Originally, Abby wanted us to make umbilical cords out of fabric and wrap them around their costumes. That’s disgusting. I think I don't understand the purpose of that. Thank God we didn't do that. But there was a point where she had all that purple and red fabric and she was twisting it. She said, ‘I want you to fashion umbilical cords.’ And we said, ‘No. Disgusting.’ (20:44-21:09 | Christi and Kelly)

“Abby says that Kenzie proved herself in the group dance. ‘Hope she remembers,’ she says, fingers crossed and smiling. I'm thinking, ‘Meanwhile she would take our kids out back, tie them under a bumper, drag them through that pothole parking lot if they forgot.” (32:50-33:04 | Christi and Kelly)

“Maybe we should start drinking whenever Jill wears fur.” (33:30-33:33 | Christi)

“Abby says, ‘You know, when your kids get a full scholarship to Harvard, and Brooke’s going to community college like her mom, are you going to support your friend?’ I said, I didn’t go to community college, bitch. Meanwhile, Abby didn't go to college either. So what is she talking about? Did she even really graduate from high school? (46:35-46:58 | Kelly and Christi)

“She's the type of person who breaks your toys. She doesn't want anybody else to play with her toys. So instead of sharing, she breaks them. So if she can't get her way at the competition, she's just going to screw everybody.” (48:06-48:18 | Christi)

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“I cannot believe this show is on television,” says Christi about Season 2 Episode 2 of Dance Moms. “It’s so absurd!” It’s also hilarious. It features some of the funniest lines in the show’s history, including the name that Christi called Cathy, which producers asked her to modify because it was too funny to leave out but too obscene for a family audience. This latest recap is just as funny, and features a story of Kelly eating at a Chinese restaurant with Abby that lives rent-free in Christi’s head. 

In this episode, Kelly and Christi react to Jill’s sense of entitlement and willingness to overstep her bounds and play dirty right from the beginning. Abby continues to play dirty, too, accusing Kelly of being drunk at rehearsal, and insinuating to Nia that Holly doesn’t love her. Kelly’s resulting tirade manages to be unintentionally hilarious. Vivi-anne continues to be a source of deadpan comedy for Christi, delivering two lines that have since gone down in Dance Moms history, one of which is Christi’s favorite of all time. 

They discuss the dance at this week’s competition which is Katy Perry meets the Andrews sisters, complete with rats and snoods that are the bane of their existence. They only wish the show would choose better music to dub over the original choreography music, and that they would show the actual dance moves that made their daughters stars in the first place. 

Quotes

“This episode has a ton of really iconic lines from the show that have been quoted a billion times, so this will be a fun one to recap.” (8:48-8:54 | Christi)

“It’s so funny that the show always opens with Abby screaming ‘Girls, let’s go!’ because it makes it seem like our girls aren’t ready. Meanwhile, our girls have been sitting there for four hours waiting to go.” (9:57-10:08 | Christi)

“I am astounded at the bullshit that is said out loud to these children. I don’t remember these things and when you watch it back, it’s horrifying!” (20:50-21:01 | Christi)

“This is where it starts to get dirty, and there will be lots of this going on in Season 2. Abby gets pissed because as we and our kids become popular with the fans, Abby wants us gone. She doesn't want anyone on the show who the fans like, except for her favorites or herself. So she would get so pissed off if anybody liked us, so that’s why she wants you and your kids gone. Because people liked you.” (45:39-46:08 | Christi)

“We’re in the dressing room, and we’re starting to do their hair and it’s hair everywhere, there’s rats and snoods, Abby is wearing a frickin tracksuit with aggressive rhinestone jewelry. It is Dance Moms at its finest.” (1:00:09-1:00:24 | Christi)

“This is why I liked Candy Apple weeks because we were very united as a team. It felt good.” (1:11:37-1:11:43 | Christi)

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“You can completely tell that we knew we were on TV at this point,” says Christi of the premiere episode of Season 2 of Dance Moms, “The whole tone completely shifts.” In this season, the original Dance Moms are now self-conscious of how things will appear on camera. In an effort to avoid breaking the 4th wall, they refer to the show by calling it “the video,” in reference to the popular music video that the girls filmed in Season 1. Everyone else is aware now, too, that the Moms are on TV, as suddenly there is a line around the block to audition for the ALDC dance studio in an effort to be part of “the video.” New Mom Jill, who once thought Abby’s studio wasn’t good enough and drove an hour away for Kendall’s dance lessons, showed up to audition during Season 2, despite claiming never to have watched “the video.” Leslie, too, feels entitled to have her daughter Peyton receive a spot on the dance team, and to reap all the benefits of being a Dance Mom, despite not having put in any of the work. 

Of course, some things never change, like Abby’s constant contradictions and cruel behavior toward the girls. She makes Holly—and by extension, Nia—feel guilty for not being at rehearsals because Holly has to work, yet she yells at the other Moms to get jobs. She asks why Nia’s dad can’t stay and watch rehearsals in Holly’s place, but last season, made Maddie’s dad leave because a father’s presence makes the dancers uncomfortable. Kelly and Christi explain the long-lasting effects of Abby’s harsh and unfair critiques of the girls’ intellect and abilities.

Kelly explains the story behind one of her more (though not the most) infamous fights with Abby where she calls Abby a whore. Though producers unsurprisingly removed it from the final cut of the show, Abby had viciously gone after Kelly’s mother with unfair and false accusations, causing Kelly to explode. They discuss the origins of an audio clip of Abby that has since gone viral on TikTok. 

Quotes

“So here we are, Season 2, the show had aired, it was a bonafide hit, and no one has fixed the potholes. There were still giant potholes in that godforsaken parking lot. Abby was hoping one of us would fall in there and die.” (11:22-11:44 | Christi and Kelly)

“The one thing I did like about Season 1 is that it was us. No one knew what we were doing, no one cared about the show. And you can see a big shift, even in the auditions all the moms are excited to be sitting by us. And when we’re watching in the audience at the competitions, you can see the mom behind us is all smiles and excited to be on camera. So, it changed everything.” (22:39-23:08 | Christi)

“I think that we were always supposedly under the threat of being replaced. Meanwhile, you can’t replace us, we’re under contract on a show. We would have left. If we had been allowed to be replaced, we would have chosen to leave.” (27:41-27:57 | Christi and Kelly)

“This is why nobody knows what to do because Abby contradicts herself so much. There are different rules for everyone.” (32:10-32:16 | Christi and Kelly)

“And Abby wonders why we don’t strive to get better. Because the only one who’s striving to get better is the only one that you’re positive to. (34:48-34:57 | Kelly)

“We knew Jill from dance competitions, she just didn’t talk to us before she was on the team.” (53:26-53:30 | Christi)

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“You gave us the opportunity of a lifetime,” Christi says of John Corella, one of the creators of Dance Moms who joins Christi and Kelly to discuss the origins of the show and how it still resonates with audiences 12 years later. As former Mr. Dance of America, John wanted to create a show that let viewers see some of the country’s most talented young dancers and their dedicated mothers. As they all recognize, the show came together easily, as though it were meant to be. 

The chemistry and camaraderie among all the women was already in place. John looked out for the ‘OGs,’ and pushed back against the craziness that resulted as the show progressed beyond its original format. Now that he teaches dance to little children, he better understands what the Dance Moms were going through with their kids at the time.

They discuss their favorite moments, how they deal with continuous negative feedback, and even the celebrity response to the show. They wonder if some of the people from the community who weren’t cast still wish they had been. John even credits the show with making inroads by bringing different cultures and lifestyles into the living rooms of the average American viewer. 

Quotes

“The thing about the show that I think was different from a lot of experiences that people had: Everything just kept clicking. Everything kept working. Everything was fast. Everything fell into place. It didn’t seem difficult. A lot of people pitch shows, and they sit in production for a year.” (13:07-13:26 | Christi)

“That is the beauty about Dance Moms is that women identified with you all, and kids identified with your kids because they were inspired by you all. And that’s why people watched it.” (20:38-20:52 | John)

“You all were funny. You have to give yourselves credit. You were so funny and open. The cameras turned on and you went. That’s something I’d never seen before and it’s hard to find.” (23:45-24:01 | John)

“We’re probably more hypercritical of ourselves than anyone else because we always have to apologize constantly for our behavior–’I’m sorry I did that.’ We’re always defending ourselves.” (26:45-27:00 | Christi)

“I never brushed it off. I feel like it kind of ate at me, and that’s why I sort of lost my mind, because all that would bother me. I was never a social media person, I’m still not. I try to just stay away from it. I would lose my mind if I read everything everybody thought about me.” (27:56-28:23 | Kelly) 

“I just can’t imagine what all of those people, who are the quickest to judge and the meanest, what they would look like if someone put a camera on them. Or if they were under the pressure that we were. You never know how you’re going to react. And then you get your kids involved and it’s a whole other ballgame.” (29:18-29:37 | Christi and Kelly) 

“The part that I don’t like about reality TV is the lying. Just be transparent and let people choose whether they want to do it or not.” (38:12-38:27 | John)

“I don’t think anyone should suffer over television.” (45:36-45:39 | John)

“I didn’t know the effect it would have on people. I felt like people would watch it but I didn’t know how angry some people would get, how passionate, how crazy over your kids. That was something extremely new.” (52:14-52:31 | John) 

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“It all started at Mohan’s. And now here we are,” Kelly says ahead of this episode of Back to the Barre, during which she and Christi explain how the show, which was meant to be a limited fly-on-the-wall “docu-follow” series, became a cultural phenomenon that is just as beloved today as it was when it debuted eleven years ago. Though Abby insists in interviews that she never auditioned for the show, Christi herself interviewed Abby, and Kelly, for producers. Contrary to popular belief, Abby had no say in who was cast. 

From the beginning, producers were learning (with some help from Abby, Kelly suspects) what set the Moms off, with one producer flat out telling Christi and Kelly to start a fight with each other. People from all over Pittsburgh auditioned for the show as well, and Christi and Kelly discuss the reactions from people around them, including those who weren’t chosen, once the show became a hit. 

Kelly felt doing the show would be a big mistake, but her husband convinced her to do it, while for Christi, it was vice versa. They admit that the show has been bittersweet, changing their lives, for the better and the worse, in ways they never could have imagined. 

Quotes

“We probably would have been better off doing ‘The Amazing Race’ than doing ‘Dance Moms.’ Even ‘Survivor.’ I think I would rather have eaten a cricket or something. If I survived ‘Dance Moms’ I could survive ‘Survivor.’” (10:20-10:42 | Kelly and Christi)

“Brian called me and he said, ‘Do you really have a dance teacher that can’t dance and yells at little kids?’ And I said, ‘Yeah. Doesn’t everyone?’” (16:32-16:48 | Christi) 

“The show’s totally different from what it was supposed to be. It was supposed to be a docu-series of six episodes. Somehow it ended up being all of us from one studio and it ended up being eight seasons.” (18:44-19:03 | Christi)

“We found out it was called ‘Dance Moms’ when we were on the road in the summer. Abby was really pissed about that because it was named after us instead of the dance teacher, or ALDC.” (19:25-19:46 | Christi and Kelly)

“I just remember not being really interested in doing it. Even when we found out it was a ‘go,’ I remember saying to my kids, ‘Do we really want to do this?’ I remember vividly where I was standing when I said that. I thought, ‘I don’t think this is a good idea.’ The kids said, ‘Let’s do it!’ Randy my husband said, ‘It’s six episodes. Just do it. If you don’t like it, don’t do it anymore.’ So I said OK. Big mistake. Probably the first and only time I ever listened to my husband.” (32:35-33:30 | Kelly)

“Us just sitting up there, that’s what we did every day of our lives while our kids were dancing. So, it really didn’t seem any different, there was just a camera there. And I think the kids were the same way.”(38:47-38:59 Kelly)

“All I remember thinking was ‘My husband is going to kill me.’ Because Mark did not want me to do that show. (53:27-53:34 | Christi)

“I think back and I think we were very naive obviously, but I also think it was really hard. It was also exciting. I think back and I smile about it. Who can say that they did that? Who can say they were on a billboard in L.A. and on every bus in New York?” (1:03:38-1:04:06 | Christi)

“It all started with us at Mohan’s on a video camera. And here we are.” (1:04:09-1:04:16 | Kelly)

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“This shouldn’t be called ‘Dance Moms: Most Outrageous Moments.’ This should be called ‘Let’s humiliate Christi and Kelly on national television—again!’” Christi says of Episode 13 which counts down the most memorable moments of Season 1. She and Kelly are afraid that their recap will be repetitive, and they do cover some familiar ground. Abby constantly contradicts herself if not flat out lies, and no one can defend themselves against her. Abby complains that the moms don’t pay their tuition bills (which they do, ahead of time, actually) but never paid the moms in return for their costuming, stoning or hair and makeup duties. But there are plenty of new gems in this episode. In fact, Kelly brings up an excellent point: if the girls whom Abby criticizes (basically, everyone but Maddie) are as bad as she says they are, how are they able to perform the same choreography in the group numbers, or perform solos without any extra instruction and often with only minutes to prepare? It’s an insight that reconciles one of the overarching points of the entire show and one of the most fundamental flaws in Abby’s logic and method of doing business. 

She and Christi want viewers to know that they were always fighting, but in a different way than the kind the producers insisted on showing. They fought to show the natural chemistry that the original members of the cast had with each other, having spent so many formative years together before the show ever came along. They fought to do more fun stuff, to show the laughs and inside jokes that made so many viewers lifelong fans. Kelly insists that if there had been more of that, the original cast would be on their 20th season now, showing the girls dancing in college or trying to make it in Hollywood. But the producers insisted on drama. 

That very chemistry is as present as ever between these two longtime friends. Join them as they offer up extra goodies including Christi’s defense of Cathy’s horrible attitude during Season 1, and Kelly and Christi remembering Abby’s boot camp which, among other tasks, involved having the kids jump up and down carrying a ten-pound bag of potatoes to see what it would feel like to gain ten extra pounds. 

Quotes

“I was trying to find a drink called the mind eraser.” (9:43-9:45 | Christi)

“Could you imagine Abby doing all the french twists and putting on the eyelashes? She can’t even put on her own eyelashes!” (14:30- 14:40 | Christi) 

“I am not wearing shoes as I’m doing Chloe’s hair and makeup in the dressing room. I want to punch myself.” (21:36-21:45 | Christi)

“I don’t know how Abby can call Laqueefa a style of dance.” (28:53-28:57 | Kelly)

“Of course, as soon as Abby’s backed into a corner, what does she do? She goes after the kids.” (32:51-32:56 | Christi)

“I think we had incredible chemistry as a cast. We knew each other so well. When Jill came in, we didn’t know her, so it was a little harder. The four of us—-excluding Cathy because she wasn’t really part of it. But Abby, us, the kids, we had such chemistry because we had that history, so we knew things. I wish the producers had let us go a little bit into the more fun stuff. (39:24-39:58 | Christi)

“I think we could have had 20 seasons with just the original cast if we could have just been shown to be ourselves without the fighting. But we weren’t allowed.” (40:19-40:28 | Kelly) 

“Do you remember how filthy Melissa would be upstairs? We would cackle! You just didn’t see any of it. It was so funny.” (40:50-40:58 | Christi)

“When push came to shove, we always had Abby’s back.” (1:01:50-1:01:53 | Christi)

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“There are two good episodes of Chloe in ‘Dance Moms’ and this is one of them,” says Christi of the final episode of Season 1. In this episode, the girls and their moms are still in L.A., (although there is a “pickup” scene that is filmed in Studio B back in Pittsburgh and everyone had to pretend otherwise.) Chloe is chosen to portray the younger version of singer Lux in Lux’s music video, “It’s Like Summer.” This was really a competition between Chloe and Paige, and as Christi points out, Paige received high praise from producers and more camera time than even Chloe in the video’s final cut. Yet Dance Mom producers made it seem like another rivalry between Chloe and Maddie to amp up the drama.

Kelly and Christi finally find an “abbey” they like. They talk about visiting The Abbey, a West Hollywood institution and wonder, not for the first time, how a group of moms from suburban Pittsburgh ever found themselves in such a crazy situation. Back then, reality stars didn’t think to brand themselves or utilize social media the way they do now. Only a few years later, other cast members like JoJo Siwa, capitalized on the mistakes and missed opportunities of the show’s original core cast. 

Kelly and Christi continue to share hilarious anecdotes about being recognized in their early days of fame, when people still thought they knew the ladies from the bank or from church, but we’re still waiting to hear the story about naked pizza. 

Quotes

“Abby uses one of my favorite quotes, the one that reminds me of the night I got roofied: It’s every man for himself.’ She said that when I got roofied.” (13:37-13:48 | Christi)

“It’s really unfortunate that Chloe and I are featured a lot in this episode’s interviews because these are the worst interview looks Chloe and I have ever had so far.” (22:47-22:59 | Christi)

“We had the bows before JoJo had the bow-bow.” (24:49-24:51 | Christi)

“Melissa looks like she’s from ‘Little House on the Prairie’ in these episodes, except with fake boobs.’ (34:19-34:26 | Christi)

“We weren’t of that era. Now, when people get cast on shows they think, ‘How can I have this be on my social media? How can I leverage this? How can I brand this like JoJo with the bows?’ We had bows in every episode but JoJo had someone to brand her. And she was three years later, and watched us so she knew what to expect.” (39:13-39:37 | Kelly and Christi)

“No one knew what to do with us or our kids. It was just a totally different thing. Now, if you’re on TV you can say, ‘Here’s a link to my outfit.’ Then we just thought, ‘What isn’t dirty. What can I put on my body and just crawl into the dance studio and get through the day. We were not like that. The world wasn’t like that.” (40:52-41:19 | Christi)

“The kids spent 24/7 together, you didn’t really want to be in an argument with each other.” (42:42-42:48 | Kelly)

“I know everyone in the audience says, ‘You could have called and met with the producer Seven.’ No, I couldn’t. Just like I couldn’t go and meet with an acting coach because I was on a TV show, and I could only do what they allowed me to do.” (43:57-44:14 | Kelly)

“Let’s drink in honor of the kidnapper van. I wish it would kidnap me.” (47:43-47:48 | Kelly and Christi)

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“Before the show, I didn’t even know I rolled my eyes,” Christi says while recapping Episode 11 of Dance Moms. Christi’s eyes get as much of a workout this episode, which takes place in Lake Tahoe, as Chloe, whose dancing/filming schedule has been so punishing she’s starting to break down. When Abby sits the mothers down to give feedback about their daughters’ techniques, she says Chloe lacks confidence, not realizing her relentless criticism is the cause. She says Brooke and Paige are slow to comprehend things, and Kelly is quick to point out that Brooke is 13 and dancing with 6-year-olds, when she danced with senior girls as a 5-year-old. Brooke has several national title trophies, which Kelly tells Abby to shove up her ass. 

Kelly blows up in rehearsal because, once again, Maddie gets special treatment at the expense of Paige and Brooke. She regrets the times she got upset on camera because it let producers know what got under her skin and how to use it against her. Meanwhile Chloe and Maddie’s sweet exchanges backstage at the auditorium show how close the girls truly are without Abby’s negative and meddling influence. The moms had the same camaraderie with each other, despite producers only ever showing them fighting.

While filming these episodes, the moms were becoming more aware, in real time, of how they were being portrayed, what producers were up to, and how they needed to change their behavior in order to protect themselves and their daughters. Eleven years later, there are still regrets and fresh wounds, but ultimately a hard earned sense of humor about it all. 

Quotes

“It seems very glamorous. All these people who would come on and be featured and be told that they were amazing. They weren’t doing the grind like our kids. So, everyone thought it was super glamorous but when you really stepped into it, it was hard as hell.” (18:09-18:26 | Christi)

“I think that’s a little glimpse that you get into the moms. Even though the only interaction you see is us always fighting, we would sit upstairs for hours, and 90 percent of the time we laughed our asses off..” (23:50-24:04 | Christi)

“Normally, Abby is throwing us out. Last week she said, ‘You don’t need to be here, get out!’ Now, this week she wants us in. She probably wanted us to make costumes, honestly.” (25:49-26:03 | Kelly and Christi)

“I am just sheer misery on camera.” (30:16-30:19 | Christi)

“I don’t want my kids to be like Maddie and Chloe. I never cared if my kids got first place. My complaint always was good choreography that could compete and a good costume. I didn’t want to beat Chloe. I didn’t want to beat Maddie. And neither did they, they were always very happy for the others.” (32:45-33:04 | Kelly)

“The problem with our show is Abby had too much control. If there had been people behind the scenes–which we tried to get—an off-camera choreographer, an off-camera costume people and Abby wasn’t calling the shots on everything, (33:39-33:56 | Christi)

“Even for our kids to get good dances, the producers would have to almost kill Abby. They would have to bribe her, they would have to threaten her. (33:57-34:05 | Christi)

“They show a shot of me, and my eye roll is absolutely ludicrous. I have one eye closed, one eye in the back of my head. It looks like I’m having a seizure. (35:28-35:38 | Christi)

“Before the show, I didn’t even know I rolled my eyes.” (35:39-35:43 |Christi) 

“I’ve said this all along: When you have high expectations of someone, they rise to the occasion. When you’re constantly putting them down, then they feel like they’re a failure and can’t do it anyway, and think

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One thing Christi and Kelly understood very early on in filming the show was that they had a job to do. It was starring on ‘Dance Moms,’ complete with all of the personal and familial sacrifices that come with it. This was Abby’s job, too, though she fails to recognize this or act accordingly. Once again, the moms can be seen on camera signing paperwork (signing their lives away, Kelly jokes). It also means they realize for the first time this episode, they will have to deal with the wrath of crazy fans, even in a side alley in L.A. Guest choreographer Michael steps in to give Paige the attention and instruction that is Abby’s job to give. Kelly insists she would never hire Michael in real life, but had to listen to producer instructions. After all, she had a job to do. 

When it comes to her role as choreographer and star maker, however, Abby has always known exactly what she was doing. She has a power lunch with Maddie (who drinks her Shirley Temple from a martini glass) to discuss Maddie’s career. Abby later tells her the dance she’s about to perform will be the one that will make her a star. This dance is widely considered to be the one that inspired singer Sia to feature Maddie in her video ‘Chandelier,’ after which Maddie’s career was launched into the stratosphere. 

Eleven years on, the ladies continue to work hard to keep us as entertained in these recaps as they did on the show. Hear Christi detail that first encounter with a crazy Abby fan, why she and Holly were in an alley, how weed was involved, and what made Christi shit her pants, not once, but twice.

Quotes

“This is the first episode after the show premiered and you can totally tell that we’ve stepped up our glam.” (6:04-:6:11 | Christi)

“The producers like to make Abby look like she babysits our kids. Meanwhile, she never watched our kids, nor would we want her to.” (15:42-15:50 | Kelly)

“All of a sudden out of nowhere, in 14-inch stiletto platform pumps, Shangela hits the ground—boom!—in the death drop and we shit our pants.” (25:29-25:39 | Christi)

“No wonder Candy Apples was such a producer’s favorite because it’s almost like parody, the whole thing.” (30:40-30:48 | Christi) 

“One thing I was thinking is that Abby talked about what she gave up for the show. Well, we did, too. My ten-year-old is at home alone for the next month. I gave up things for the show, too.” (32:48-32:05 | Kelly)

“The minute I hear ‘Dream on a Star’ my heart squeezes. That is my favorite, it has a special place in my heart.” (41:19-41:34 | Christi)

“Then we have a weird interaction where Abby is talking to us like we’re humans. It’s weird.”(42:44-42:51 | Christi) 

“Abby goes on to say that it’s really unprofessional when one professional mocks another professional. But I’m thinking, ‘Isn’t it really unprofessional when a teacher mocks a student, too?” (55:22-55:34 | Christi)

“This might be the dance that Sia saw and decided she was moved by Maddie, and wanted her in ‘Chandelier.’ Abby was completely right because she said this could change your life and it has. It did. Look at Maddie’s career, it’s incredible. So, Abby knew what she was doing, and we’ve always said that.” (59:58-1:00:17 | Christi)

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“I’m so fired up,” says Christi in regards to episode 9 of Dance Moms, “This is one of those episodes that I’m still pissed off about.” It’s the episode in which the crew heads to Las Vegas, where the girls do their dance routine as each of the seven deadly sins. Kelly and Christi agree the theme was simply a way for Abby to get another dig in at the girls, (e.g. Chloe is envious of Maddie and Brooke wastes her talent by being lazy). The women discuss the den of lust that was the Rumor, a sleazy and completely inappropriate hotel for young children to stay. Abby herself commits the other sins like gluttony (only filming with the girls in Rumor’s restaurant because there was ice cream involved), and she’s as full of wrath as ever for anyone who gets in her way. She even breaks some commandments as Kelly insists that Abby truly wants the girls to disrespect their parents, and she spreads false rumors about all of the mothers knowing the audience will automatically believe her.

This episode is also a watershed as it’s the first one where a group of new mothers come into Cathy’s Candy Apple studios trying to be like the “core four” Moms and Christi and Kelly agree it doesn’t work. The Moms visit an ice bar and as soon as they leave they attend the premiere of Dance Moms, which is pretty much the moment their lives completely change. Christi says the ice bar is her all time favorite moment as it’s the last time they were just Kelly, Christi, Melissa and Holly–four regular moms from Pittsburgh. 

Join the party to find out why the moms were escorted out of the premiere, and the two words that Christi shares with Kelly that will haunt them both for the rest of their lives. 

Quotes

“I think Abby would like none of the children in the world to have mothers, so she could just rule.” (12:36-12:43 | Kelly)

“It didn’t take much to make the girls happy, the producers should have done something every week to make them happy. It wouldn’t have been that difficult.” (31:21- 31:29 | Kelly)

“Kelly you say, ‘I’m so excited that the girls are seeing this, because it shows what they’ve been working for.’ And then the very next sentence is Liz telling us that she works topless.” (32:02-32:15 | Christi)

“The night we premiered we were still filming. We couldn’t even have the night that our show premiered off. We were working.” (37:48-37:59 | Kelly)

“Let me just say, the only way they got Abby to go down there was the ice cream. She was not babysitting our children. They said you have to come down and film for 15 minutes with ice cream sundaes, or she would not have been filming.” (39:02-39:17 | Kelly)

“To be fair, Holly was probably only drinking because she was trying to use the alcohol to kill any germs she picked up at Rumor.” (52:30-52:36 | Christi) 

“Abby tells us that I’m rude and arrogant and clueless. Funny though, Abby always talks about how I was smart and you had to watch me. It just goes to show that she knows that whatever she says, people will believe. And she says it a few other times in this episode about other things and it pisses me off because I think, ‘They’re you go, just saying shit people will believe just because you’re saying it.’” (56:28-56:53 | Christi)

“We always start off strong at the beginning of the seasons, and then halfway through, by Nationals, when we get to the New Orleans episode in Season 3, you see me in New Orleans, and you when you’re sitting on the dumpster at the end of Season 2. We look like we have been ridden hard and put away wet. It’s exhausting. Rough.” (1:03:47-1:04:17 | Christi)

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“This is the worst dance I’ve seen yet on ‘Dance Moms,’” says Christi of Episode 8, “We look like snowbirds coming down from Cleveland.” The dance in question featured Brandon, whose mother Diane, a longtime friend of the two and member of the ALDC studio, joins the podcast to describe her experience of filming. Diane and Brandon surprised everyone by showing up in Orlando. Brandon is joining the group dance, in which he plays a photographer to the girls’ models. He and Brooke have a ‘dating history,’ going back to when they were nine, and even a decade since the episode, Diane and Kelly are convinced they might still get married. Diane makes no secret about the rushed and dishonest nature of filming the show– revealing that she was instructed to cause premeditated drama. Christi fills in gaps in the narrative to address long standing fan questions.

Once again, the ethics of the show’s producers are brought into question. Throughout this episode the children are being shown in an adult light, which ranges from hilarious (Brooke reflecting on her major growth between 9 and 13), to disturbing (Abby’s ambiguous descriptions of Brooke and Brandon’s dancing; Maddie saying if she couldn’t dance, she’d kill herself). Christi explains her frustration that Cathy and Melissa got to break the rules inside and outside of the show, while she and Kelly honored the job they agreed to do and suffered the consequences for it. The watermelon game and its fallout highlight the differences in the way the moms parent, and in the way Melissa acts on and off camera. The three note the sad irony that these girls, once dubbed ‘the dream team,’ lost all of their technique due to the demands of filming the show that made them famous. The show generated fury from the dance community, further isolating the girls from the opportunities they were working so hard to obtain. 

Find out why Abby was furious that Brandon and Diane appeared on the show, why Chloe didn’t appear in this episode, and the haunting specter of Abby’s starfish ring. 

Quotes

“Child abductors are what I think of when I see those vans. Then I just think of ‘Dance Moms’ and I think, “Aghh!”(9:29-9:36 | Kelly)

“You see me in an interview say that I’m not shocked that Cathy isn’t here, she picks and chooses what she goes to. Which is such bullshit. Every week it’s that!” (10:21-10:35 | Kelly)

“I always tell people that doing a reality show is like walking through a haunted house: you don’t know what’s coming.” (23:52-23:58 | Christi)

“Seeing Abby in a hotel room is like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs. It’s unnatural, it’s weird. It’s just weird to see her out of the dance studio.” (35:45-35:5 | Christi)

“We all had a life before ‘Dance Moms,’ and in Season 1 we were definitely figuring out how to make it all work. We had dropped everything. My business was totally kaput, Kelly’s son was at home. We were all making these huge sacrifices.” (36:38-36:58 | Christi) 

“Brooke has the best line ever: ‘I think Brandon still likes me, but I’ve moved on. I’m not the same as I was when I was nine years old.’” (43:52-44:00 | Kelly)

“Wouldn’t you like to see behind the scenes what Maddie has encountered between Melissa and Abby, if she doesn’t win? What has she endured behind the scenes from them? What do they say to her to cause her that much anxiety.”(1:07:38-1:07:58 | Diane)

“It wouldn’t be ‘Dance Moms’ without Melissa crying at a solo.”(1:08:47-1:08:49 | Christi)

“My daughter cannot buy anything with a star on it because of Abby’s starfish ring. There was this really pretty Dior bag with a beautiful star on it that Chloe wanted for Christmas. She said, ‘I can’t have that bag, I don’t want anything with a star, I have trauma from childhood about stars from that ring.’”(1:12:25-1:12:44 | Christi)

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On this episode of Back to the Barre, Kelly is operating with a broken hand. Without giving away any spoilers, it’s related to a pair of burst water boobs, and more loosely related to the time she fell into a manhole during filming. She and Christi are reviewing Episode 7 of Dance Moms, Titled “She’s a Fighter.” This was the first episode filmed since the show became a hit and was picked up for a new season, so everyone is about to head out on the road to film for the next six weeks. Their first stop is at a week-long competition which takes place at a casino, and so Abby expects everyone to pack a themed outfit for each day. Melissa discusses her relationship with her late mother, for whom Maddie is dancing in tribute. Abby continues to be unfair (and culturally insensitive) to Nia. It only serves to bring out Nia’s sweet nature, and what would become Holly’s trademark gracious indignation. Vivi continues to foil Cathy’s pretentiousness with her deadpan honesty. Abby’s studio continues to be an unsanitary “shithole,” and Kelly and Christi vow to mention it every episode.

A recurring source of frustration while filming the show was that the moms didn’t get a chance to respond against false accusations–neither from Abby nor from producers. Abby accused them of not paying their bills, and production never showed the women’s response setting the record straight. During confrontations, Abby talked over everyone and walked out before anyone could get a word in. Kelly expresses sadness over the deterioration of her family’s long, close relationship with Abby. Christi says that the show would have been so different if it showed all the light moments they enjoyed, where the girls were just having fun. 

Join the party to find out why Melissa was always telling Maddie to go to the bathroom, why they had to wear the same clothes day after day, and what Holly carried in all of those big bags.

Quotes

“Holly was holding her bag again in Pyramid. I think she doesn’t want to leave it in the den because it’ll end up full of ants. I swear to God.” (13:49-13:59 | Christi)

“Abby says, ‘I’m proud, and I don’t say that often.’ And we’re like, ‘You’re right, you don’t.’ And she’s also proud of the moms because we kept our mouths shut.” (15:00-15:09 | Christi)

“And then we get the interview of Abby, and she’s glowing! And she says, ‘Maddie is doing a breathtakingly beautiful lyrical routine in a stunning white costume.’ I think she creamed her jeans.” (21:50-22:03 | Christi)

“Remember she told me I wasn’t paying my bills? They always cut out our responses. My bill was paid a year in advance.”(28:53-29:04 | Kelly)

“My cousin works for the police, and they were down there because they knew I was on the show, and they said that Abby was such a pain in the ass. She was always calling them there for stupid shit. They think she’s ridiculous.” (29:19-29:41 | Kelly) 

“Abby has her stack of papers. That is her move. She feels important when she comes in with her folder of papers. And she doesn’t let you speak first, she just goes at you, so you don’t have a chance to tell her what you think. She just goes at you with these papers. And when you’re responding to her, she just walks out.”(30:39-30:56 | Christi)

“Vivi is a mood. All day, every day.”(35:01-35:04 | Christi)

“Abby always asks why our kids look dumbfounded. It’s because they have to respond to dumb shit!” (36:43-36:49 | Christi)

“Nobody else would have ever gone up to Abby while she was sleeping and put a gummy worm in her mouth, but my kids were close enough to her that they would do that kind of stuff because they had that kind of relationship. It’s just sad for me to see that we had that kind of relationship in Season 1 and then coming to 2 and 3, that ends. It’s sad.” (49:01-49:20 | Kelly)

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Best friends Kelly and Christi are back! Today they are reviewing Episode 6 of their hit show Dance Moms called “Dying to Dance” (a title which they both agree is messed up.) It refers to the dance “Where Have All the Children Gone,” (which Christi nicknamed The Seven Dwarves of Suicide”) that the girls are performing this week, one of the most beloved by the company and viewers alike. Christi continues to point out more instances of “frankenbits,” where different moments of recording are spliced together to put words in people’s mouths, creating a false narrative for the audience. When they arrive at the competition, Brooke doesn’t have a costume. Cathy offers Brooke Vivianne’s but then takes it away only minutes before Brooke is scheduled to perform.

Meanwhile, it’s Kelly’s 40th birthday, and at Cathy’s passive aggressive urging, the ladies all go to get Botox. The women later gather at Kelly’s house for a birthday celebration and though they never showed the fortune teller who came to the party, they did show Melissa telling the world that Kelly has never had an orgasm. Later, Abby’s dog Broadway Baby makes a cameo, and Christi and Kelly reveal that she used to feed the dog her own Nutrisystem meals and then tell everyone she lost three pounds. Christi gets bad news about her grandmother and she takes Chloe back to her childhood home.

Join the party to hear about Kelly’s long lost golfing days, what she would like to ask Cathy now, and what “greeking” is.

Quotes

“Remember Abby said that she’s adding a little edge, because abduction is not edgy enough she had to add a suicide to it.” (22:02-22:06 | Christi)

“Producers probably told Cathy to say something about my nose because they know I was really insecure about camera angles.” (43:04-43:11 | Christi)

“Just so you guys know who ask, ‘How can Kelly who is such good friends with Christi not know about her sisters?’ I do not have a relationship with either of my sisters, so I don’t talk about them.” (45:02-45:10 | Christi)

“That was the first time I said Spanx on TV, and honestly Spanx should have sponsored us for the amount of time we talked about them.” (45:39-45:45 | Christi)

“You can tell when the days are long and who’s at the end of the interviews by how crazy we look.” (48:15-48:20 | Christi)

“We always filmed at my house. And it was like, I have three kids, and filming all day, and you tell me when I’m leaving at 10:30 at night that you’re coming to my house at 8 in the morning. My son and my husband have been using it like a bachelor pad, so it’s a disaster. Ugh, I used to hate it. ” (49:16-49:35 | Kelly)

“I’m not the most love-y, touchy, feely kind of person and they have me come over and hug you and try to console you and I’m thinking, ‘Oh, you’ve got the wrong girl for this.” (56:49-57:00 “ | Kelly)

“Brooke probably knew…Usually the kids knew when something like us hugging and consoling was going on, sometimes it was bullshit. It wasn’t something major going on. At this point, your grandmother really was sick, but usually it wasn’t. So, the kids could have cared less what we were over there talking about, because they figured oh, it’s nothing.” (59:04-59:25 | Kelly)

“When Chloe started dancing you can hear Paige in the background go, ‘Come on, Clover!’ If you watch any episode, Paige is always in the wings cheering her friends on. And then when they come on and off, she’s always hugging them. She’s the ultimate hype girl.” (1:04:15-1:04:35 | Kelly and Christi

“When they leave Brooke is carrying Kenzie in the background, it’s cute. She says, “Come on, Kenz!’ and picks her up and carries her. You have to pay attention to the back, there’s a lot of cute stuff.” (1:19:13-1:19:23 | Christi)

“I actually loved Candy Apple weeks because I knew Abby was going to leave me alone.” (1:23:56-1:24:01 | Christi)

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On this episode of “Back to the Barre,” Kelly and Christi discuss the girls learning the “Sugar Daddy” dance complete with its unruly props, while the mothers endure the humiliation of learning and performing a dance choreographed by Cathy. In between learning all the dances for the upcoming ALDC showcase, the girls also audition for a Broadway producer who is casting for the musical Annie. Christi gives some major backstory on the show when she explains that nearly half the clients in Abby’s studio left the summer before the show started, and Christi nearly did, too, as they were tired of Abby’s poor behavior. Shortly thereafter, though, Chloe was declared a national title holder, which meant she was forbidden from leaving her studio. 

As usual, Abby’s words and behavior contradict each other. She wants the girls to come to her and look up to her, but then she bullies them and pushes them away when they show her affection. Again, the girls are shown to be crying over petty things when actually, in footage that’s never shown, they are being bullied by Abby. Abby continues to make Nia feel bad for Holly’s absence, while Holly graduates from her PhD program. 

Find out which actor Kelly and Christi ran into while handing out flyers for the ALDC showcase, Kelly’s favorite dance that the girls did, and when Christi knew the show had become a hit.

Quotes

“The bullying is so apparent when you watch the show back. I saw it but I didn’t realize it.” (20:04-20:11 | Christi)

“This is when I flip out and say ‘No one wants to see a bunch of fatass old moms on stage.’ I stand by that.” (30:03-30:10 | Christi) 

“Abby says she can’t be in the dance because of insurance. OK. I’m thinking maybe it was the video we saw of the purple leotard. I don’t think it was insurance reasons.” (55:37-55:46 | Kelly)

“The gif of us toasting- I see this gif all the time. I promise you if you go on your phone and you put in ‘Dance Moms’ for gifs, this gif will come up. This gif is everywhere.” (36:37-36:50 | Christi)

“People don’t realize how stressful it was for all of those kids. Brooke being injured, then McKenzie having a stomachache and Vivi saying her head hurts. It’s because they’re under so much stress. People just don’t understand what kind of stress those kids are under.” (52:00-52:17 | Kelly) 

Links

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“This is the least funny we’ve been, this is the least fun we’ve had, because this episode is hard to do,” Christi admits on the latest episode of Back to the Barre. The fourth episode of Dance Moms planted the seeds of years of misunderstanding. Here Christi and Kelly reveal behind-the-scenes elements of the story that reveal that the two were not, as many fans accused, crazy and jealous of the other children. They were simply demanding fairness for their daughters, both from Abby and the other mothers, and in the way their girls were being portrayed on the show. Both Cathy and Melissa demand and receive special treatment, with Cathy refusing to lend the kind of support and camaraderie she receives from the other mothers. Melissa makes sure that Maddie gets plenty of extra time to rehearse and attention from Abby despite performing a dance she already knows. This means that the other girls only have hours before a competition to learn their routines and get comfortable with their music. This results in Paige freezing and running off stage mid-performance. More infuriatingly, Cathy accuses the other mothers of ostracizing her, and Melissa accuses Christi of being willing to do anything for her daughter to win. 

Kelly plays a clip of the Lady Gaga song that Paige rehearsed to for months, and compares it to a clip of the song that Paige had to dance to in competition. Not only did the song have different beats, but none of the lyrics that informed major parts of the choreography were there. Christi explains the complicated history behind the infamous fight with Melissa. In later episodes, Kelly pulled Paige out of solos to spare her further humiliation, thus making her look demanding and petulant. This is the debut of Abby’s increasingly gaudy plastic jewelry, and Melissa’s acid washed floral jeans. Christi continues to regret the harsh overhead lighting they film under. While this episode is hard to bear, there are still plenty of lighthearted moments, as usual. 

Learn what the Moms were watching on their phones while waiting to go into the competition, what McKenzie said in an interview that made Melissa so mad, and the origins of putting your arms above your head and holding your breath when going under a bridge. 

Quotes

“A lot of the dances were like, ‘Fuck your mother.’” (25:11-25:14 | Christi)

“It’s not jealousy, it’s the inequity, or inequality of it. And we’re like, ‘OK, if this is the case, then fine, but don’t make it out like we’re crazy, because we’re not.’” (26:24-26:35 | Christi)

“I love when people would always show up at the studio after the show premiered and they’d come in and say, ‘Oh! It’s smaller and dirtier than I thought it might be.’” (28:21-28:28 | Christi)

“Did I want my daughter to win? Of course! We all wanted our kids to win. But I would look at those girls and think, why would I take away a chance for them? Chloe doesn’t need two.”(36:36-36:46 | Christi)

“And this is my problem throughout the whole show is that we had to do things knowing that our kids were being set up. I sent my ten-year-old out there knowing that this was going to happen in front of millions of people on a television show, and there wasn’t a single thing I could do about it.”(1:07:27-1:07:49 | Kelly)

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“This is going to turn into a big fun party,” Christi says as she and Kelly marvel at how many people are enthusiastically embracing Back to the Barre, rediscovering their hit show ‘Dance Moms,’ and telling the two how much they’ve enjoyed hearing from them all these years later. The party continues as they review Episode Three of “Dance Moms” over drinks. In this episode, Abby is teaching the girls an acrobatics routine, and it’s Vivi’s turn to receive special attention from Abby. Abby and Kelly’s long and complicated history starts to surface and Abby tells Kelly’s children Brooke and Paige to not waste their lives like their mother. Christi and Kelly drink every time Abby appears in another one of her infamous headbands. 

Throughout the podcast, Kelly and Christi continue to set the record straight about long-standing fan questions and criticisms. They address why they didn’t schedule more privates, why they were late, the good reason for Brooke looking so miserable, and continue to critique each other’s old fashion moments. As reality show veterans now, they are able to put themselves in the minds of producers, and guess what random moments, like apple sauce exploding in a lunchbox, may have meant in terms of storyline (a foreshadowing of drama at Candy Apple Studios). This was the episode of Dance Moms where they all started to realize truly what they had signed up for. 

On this episode of Back to the Barre, the friends discuss Cathy’s nosiness, their thoughts on kids being kept in kennels, and what Christi considers the best line uttered in the history of reality TV. 

Quotes

“It’s like we alternate weeks of who’s going to be tortured, me or you. Last week it was you, this week it’s me.” (4:54-5:01 | Kelly) 

“The lighting on me in that room is so good! It’s good lighting! Our lighting was always such shit and you could see into our pores! No wonder the Kardashians bring their own ring lights everywhere.” (12:13-12:34 | Christi)

“When you’re on a reality show, you could be thinking something in your head and the audience never knows. So, you have to say it out loud so that they know what the storyline is.” (23:12-23:24 | Christi)

“Abby has nothing to go home to! So how did I settle? I have a husband and a family to go home to and what does she have? When everybody leaves the studio, what does she have to go home to? She had her dog.” (28:03-28:16 | Kelly)

“Why does Cathy want to know about our husbands? She doesn’t even know anything about us!” (32:42-32:46 | Kelly)

“Everyone would say, ‘If you don’t like it, why don’t you get more privates?’ We tried! We couldn’t get them because Melissa was the one scheduling them.”(34:47-34:56 | Christi) 

“Again, first three episodes, I don’t know why anyone would like me, because so far, I’ve just been a nasty bitch the whole time.”(40:07-40:12 | Christi)

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Best friends Christi and Kelly are back to discuss episode two of their hit series ‘Dance Moms,’ where the daughters head to Lancaster, Pennsylvania to perform their “Electricity” number. The moms are as concerned as ever about the age-appropriateness of their daughters’ dance moves and outfits, especially in religiously-conservative Lancaster, PA. Abby is overstepping her bounds and confusing her role as dance teacher with a role as parent. 

Though Kelly and Christi are the only two to be seen complaining about it, there is resentment among all the moms about the special praise and attention lavished on Maddie, and the pressure it puts on the other girls. Sewing the girls’ costumes before competitions was a job–and a source of drama– unto itself.

Tune into this week’s episode to hear about the debut of Abby’s infamous flip flip tee-shirt, and the exclusive stories that never made it to air, like what Cathy threw at Christi, and why Abby called Kelly white trash. 

Quotes

“All the little girls who were our kids' age are now watching as young adults and they all like us moms now. Whereas Before, they only liked the kids..” (5:03-5:10- Christi) 

“Abby says we as moms live through our kids and that we shouldn’t go to the competitions. And the kids should do what she says, not what their mom says. Who tells a kid that?”(13:55-14:11 | Kelly)

“Abby says that when kids from other studios come to her studio, no one knows terminology and I do agree with that. She definitely taught terminology.” (46:39-46:50 | Kelly)

“That is legit. Abby used to do it on Sunday nights when there were no cameras around, and we would be coming home and all of us would be on the bus ready to kill ourselves, and she would be screaming at the bus driver for going in the wrong direction.”(1:03:10-1:03:20 | Christi) 

“It was only episode two and Abby already wanted us gone.” (1:15:28-1:15:31- | Kelly) 

Links

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“People always wanted to see more of us,” says Christi Lukasiak, one of the breakout stars on Lifetime’s long-running hit reality dance show “Dance Moms.” Eleven years after the show’s 2011 debut, she and Kelly Hyland, best friends and fan-favorite duo, are giving the people what they want by reacting to the show’s pilot episode “The Competition Begins.” With glasses of wine in hand, they relive the show’s most famous scenes, offer insider memories and trivia, and fill in what was often the chasm between reality and reality TV.

While the audience watched their young daughters master and perform intricate choreography as members of Abby Lee Miller’s dance studio in Pittsburgh, Christi and Kelly, along with the other moms on the show, were subject to their own choreography of sorts behind the scenes. As normal suburban moms, they were unprepared for how much of the show was fabricated and subject to multiple takes, how differently they and their children would be portrayed on TV, and how much criticism they would receive from viewers for the silliest things.

On this episode of Back to the Barre, Christi and Kelly set the record straight, address longrunning questions they’ve received from fans over the years, and decide which, if any, of their outfits they would ever wear again.

Quotes

“The thing that I think is the most fun, or the part that’s really interesting is that we lived it. So there’s so much that we can talk about that people never saw.” (2:30-2:40 | Christi)

“I do think that’s one of the reasons why the show was really successful, because it wasn’t in New York or L.A. We were just normal Pittsburgh people.” (11:08-11:18 | Christi) 

“What people don’t realize is when we were in pyramid, it’s three seconds on the show, but it took us hours and hours to film.” (15:26-15:36 | Kelly) 

“It was just to humiliate us. She just needed a reason to humiliate us.”(19:23-19:27 | Kelly)

“That was our first big red flag of editing mistakes. Where did that come from? That wasn’t there when we were filming.” (23:48-23:56 | Christi and Kelly)

“And that was my first real ‘Holy shit. People are going to hate us for stupid reasons’ moment.” (30:24-30:30 | Christi)

“That’s what they always did and it made Paige look like a crybaby. Meanwhile she was tortured….But they don’t show that.” (40:17-40:29 | Kelly) 

“When I talk to people they say, ‘Oh, Abby was so mean.’ I’m thinking to myself, ‘Are you kidding me?! You think she’s that mean and they only showed ten minutes of it?” 40:35-40:47 | Kelly) 

“That’s what was so hard a lot of the time for me–the way she treated my kids. She was like my family. Her mom and her would come to Paige and Brooke’s baptisms and communions and things. And then you treat them like that and not care about their feelings.” (43:33-43:52 | Kelly) 

“I always thought Brooke had an unfair edit because I think that Brooke is way more fun than they ever showed her to be. And she was always the most caring. She always took care of those kids, and they just showed her as the miserable little bitch.” (46:34:46:47 | Christi and Kelly)

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