Table Talks with the Tares
By The Honest Underscore
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Category: Relationships
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Episodes: 188
Description
How do you know you're showing up the way you mean to? You won't unless you stop to check.
MJ and Ash are a husband and wife with completely opposite wiring. Raising kids in the years the intent is high, but the capacity is low. Every week they get honest about the story playing underneath the home they’re trying to build together, share notes and recalibrate before the next week. Because wanting better doesn’t always mean doing better.
| Episode | Date |
|---|---|
|
187 - Not All Anger is Loud
|
Jul 27, 2026 |
|
186 - What if Duty and Desire Weren’t Meant to be Split?
|
Jul 20, 2026 |
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185 - Why I Aim to Be a High Agency Father
|
Jul 13, 2026 |
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184 - When the Past and Present Collide: Communication Under Pressure
|
Jul 06, 2026 |
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183 - Designed to Disagree: Why your Spouse’s Pushback is Actually an Asset
|
Jun 29, 2026 |
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182 - Don’t tear down what you spent all week building
|
Jun 22, 2026 |
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181 - The 4 Daily Moments That Make or Break Family Peace
|
Jun 15, 2026 |
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180 - Old Wounds New Fights: Why am I even this upset right now
|
Jun 08, 2026 |
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179 - Your Love Language Isn’t Their Love Language
|
Jun 01, 2026 |
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178 - Fixing the Communication Gap: Venting vs Asking for Help
|
May 25, 2026 |
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177 - Take More Risks. Rhythms become the Fallback
|
May 18, 2026 |
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176 - Good Intentions Aren’t Good Enough, Finding Restorative Rest as A Family
|
May 11, 2026 |
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175 - It Should Be Easier By Now
|
May 04, 2026 |
|
174 - Rest or Prep: The Sunday Night Tension
|
Apr 27, 2026 |
|
173 - When Intent Doesn’t Match Reality: Postpartum Edition
|
Apr 20, 2026 |
|
172 - How to Communicate when Life is Stressful
|
Apr 13, 2026 |
|
171 -The Amnesia of Parenting and Keeping the Long View
|
Apr 06, 2026 |
|
170 - The Thing about Our Family that Others Notice
|
Mar 30, 2026 |
|
169 - It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It
|
Mar 23, 2026 |
|
168 - How do you Speak Truth to a Narcissist?
|
Mar 16, 2026 |
|
167 - When You Find Out Your Spouse Has ADHD
|
Mar 09, 2026 |
|
166 - That Is Not My Job. Relationship Expectations 10 Years In
|
Mar 02, 2026 |
|
165 - A Culture Clashing Marriage: Is it Honor or is it Love?
|
Feb 23, 2026 |
|
164 - Married to your financial opposite. Designer versus durable: the hidden values behind what we buy
|
Feb 16, 2026 |
|
163 - Love when Capacity is Low
|
Feb 09, 2026 |
|
162 - Why We Chose a Literature-Based Approach to Learning
|
Feb 02, 2026 |
|
161 - Follow the Money: What Our Spending Says About Our Hearts
|
Jan 26, 2026 |
|
160 - How we’re building health habits that actually stick
|
Jan 19, 2026 |
|
159 - Rethinking Resolutions: Why we’re focusing on habits not hustle
|
Jan 12, 2026 |
|
158 - How to make screen time a non-issue, family health reset
|
Jan 05, 2026 |
|
157 - 2025 Table Talks Wrapped, The Big Habit We Want to Model: Reading
|
Dec 29, 2025 |
|
156 - One tool we’re using to work through conflict
|
Dec 22, 2025 |
|
155 - How we navigate a low capacity season as a family
|
Dec 15, 2025 |
|
154 - Controlling the controllables and a shortcut to real connection
|
Dec 08, 2025 |
|
153 - Why Running Without Margin Always Catches Up to You
|
Dec 01, 2025 |
|
152 - What are you reading, lessons from our kids, and living by principles
|
Nov 24, 2025 |
|
151 - The Tiny Weekly Habit That Made Us Better Parents
|
Nov 17, 2025 |
|
150 - Why You Should Run Your Family Like A Business
|
Nov 10, 2025 |
|
149 - The Great EV Breakdown (Not the Car, Just Me)
|
Nov 03, 2025 |
|
148 - How To Prepare For Weekends with Extended Family
|
Oct 27, 2025 |
|
147 - When the Past Shows Up - 3 ways to face your yesterday
|
Oct 20, 2025 |
|
146 - Seeking the Sacred Work of Ordinary Days, What if Ordinary is the Point?
|
Oct 13, 2025 |
|
145 - What the Extrovert wishes the Introvert knew, Would you crash a wedding, and other conversations
|
Oct 06, 2025 |
|
144 - What an Introvert Wishes an Extrovert Understood
|
Sep 29, 2025 |
|
143 - What’s in my ADHD parenting toolkit: what actually helps
|
Sep 22, 2025 |
|
142 - Below Capacity: When you can’t operate at 100%
|
Sep 15, 2025 |
|
141- Our Toddler Asks Why We Still Go To Church
|
Sep 08, 2025 |
|
140 - Habits that didn’t stick
|
Sep 01, 2025 |
|
139 - Not Okay, But Okay: A Real Postpartum Check-In
|
Aug 25, 2025 |
|
138 - Fastest Labor Yet: How Our Third Baby Almost Arrived in the ER Lobby
|
Aug 18, 2025 |
|
137 - Have Kids Early and Often? What I Think About That
|
Aug 11, 2025 |
|
136 - Preparing for the 100 days of darkness… again
|
Aug 04, 2025 |
|
135 - Any Day Now: What This Season is Teaching Me About Waiting
|
Jul 28, 2025 |
|
134 - Recalibrating My Response to My Kids’ Jealousy
|
Jul 21, 2025 |
|
133 - The Legacy We Hope to Build, Not Raising Entitled Kids
|
Jul 14, 2025 |
|
132 - 9 Years In… and We Still Read Each Other Like a Book
|
Jul 07, 2025 |
|
131 Embracing Life’s Lows: Strategies When You’re Not At Your Best
|
Jun 30, 2025 |
|
130 - What we didn’t expect about expecting, desirability during pregnancy
|
Jun 23, 2025 |
|
Ep 129 - Married to ADHD: What we didn’t see coming
|
Jun 16, 2025 |
|
128 - Are We Good? Money & Marriage Miscommunication
|
Jun 09, 2025 |
|
127 - From Recipient to Giver: Intentionality in Every Season
|
Jun 02, 2025 |
|
126 - Agree to Disagree. How we’ve had to learn to get along
|
May 26, 2025 |
|
Ep 125 - Reacting to Reddits Unpopular Parenting Opinions
|
May 19, 2025 |
|
Ep 124 Pregnant with Life, Surrounded by Loss
|
May 12, 2025 |
|
Ep 123 Stop Outsourcing Discipleship - Here’s what works at Home
|
May 05, 2025 |
|
Ep 122 When They Ask You About God
|
Apr 28, 2025 |
|
Ep 121 Something That Used to Bother You but Doesn’t Anymore and other then vs now questions
|
Apr 21, 2025 |
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Ep 120 Then versus Now. Comparing the 1st year and the 9th year of marriage.
|
Apr 14, 2025 |
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Ep 119 - How To Avoid Getting Sucked into a Narcissist's Gravitational Pull
|
Apr 07, 2025 |
|
Ep 118 - Why Sermons Aren’t Enough for Discipleship, Viewing Discipleship as a Chemistry Lab, Not a Lecture
|
Mar 31, 2025 |
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Ep 117 - Discipleship in 2025. So what is it really?
|
Mar 24, 2025 |
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Ep 116 - What's it like being married to a Vacillator?
|
Mar 17, 2025 |
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Ep 115 - Third Time’s the Charm… or Is it? Preparing for Baby #3
|
Mar 10, 2025 |
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Ep 114 - How to confront someone you love, the different cultural backgrounds we bring to our family
|
Mar 03, 2025 |
|
Ep 113 - Who should say sorry first? When honor/shame and justice/guilt cultures get married.
|
Feb 24, 2025 |
|
Ep 112 - What's it like being married to an Avoider?
|
Feb 17, 2025 |
|
Ep 111 - Should household and parenting responsibilities be 50/50? The unique value proposition of a mother and a father
|
Feb 10, 2025 |
|
Ep 110 - Is the Great Commission for Everyone? What it means to make disciples.
|
Feb 03, 2025 |
|
Ep 109 - Are you Selfless or a People-Pleaser, Identifying your Needs, Letting your Husband be your Children's Father
|
Jan 27, 2025 |
|
Ep 108 - Fear of Failure Driving the Holy Search for God's Will in Your Life, On Considering Obedience to God and Serving the Local Body
|
Jan 20, 2025 |
|
Ep 107 - Artificial Intelligence, Pondering the Correct Christian Ethic around the Rapid Development of Technology, Finding God’s will for your Life
|
Jan 13, 2025 |
|
Ep 106 - Type A vs Type B couple setting New Years Resolutions, Goal Setting and Leveraging Technology, What Drives Someone to Set Goals
|
Jan 06, 2025 |
|
Ep 105 - On Body Safety and Pornography, A Discussion on the Right Time to Bring It up with your Children
|
Dec 30, 2024 |
|
Ep 104 - How we Rest as an Introvert/Extrovert Couple, Finding Rhythm of Rest in our Sabbath, Not Everyone should Rest
|
Dec 16, 2024 |
|
Ep 103 - Why We're Choosing to Homeschool, Tapping into Strengths, Wrestling through the Pros and Cons of Education at Home
|
Dec 09, 2024 |
|
Ep 102 - Reimagine Advent: Practicing the Age-old Christian Season as a New Family
|
Dec 02, 2024 |
|
Ep 101 - From Holiday Hustle to Weekly Habit: How We're Avoiding Stressing over Thanksgiving by Practicing Gratitude Regularly
|
Nov 25, 2024 |
|
Ep 100 - How Adoption Changed Me, The Volatility of New Siblings Joining your Home, Unpacking my Experience
|
Nov 18, 2024 |
|
Ep 99 - When a Visionary and an Optimizer make decisions, Why they can work together well or terribly, How to work with someone who is different than you
|
Nov 11, 2024 |
|
Ep 98 - Vacillator and Avoider Clashing in their Needs, Re-implementing the Family Meeting, The difference between being strategic and visionary
|
Nov 04, 2024 |
|
Ep 97 - MJ's first time to Vote, Pro-Life Policy Voting Challenges, and Expressing a Christian Worldview to our Civic Duty
|
Oct 28, 2024 |
|
Ep 96 - Navigating Loss: My Journey of Grief and Having my Wife by my Side
|
Oct 21, 2024 |
|
Ep 95 - Family Dynamics Pt 7: Dealing with Transitions, Holding on to Good in Trials
|
Oct 14, 2024 |
|
Ep 94 - Family Dynamics Pt 6: Dad's Role in the Modern Family, How I Father my Toddlers
|
Oct 07, 2024 |
|
Ep 93 - Family Dynamics Pt 5: Self-Care for Parents: Finding Balance in a Busy World
|
Sep 30, 2024 |
|
Ep 92 - Family Dynamics Pt 4: Raising Resilient Kids: Lessons Learned from the Pandemic
|
Sep 23, 2024 |
|
Ep 91 - Family Dynamics Part 3: Sharing the Load: Coping with Grief, Social Media Boundaries, Being a Team through Loss
|
Sep 16, 2024 |
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Ep 90 - Family Dynamics Series Part 2: The Work-from-Home Family, Navigating Noise, Nurture, and Productivity
|
Sep 09, 2024 |
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Ep 89 - Family Dynamics Series Part 1: Keeping the Spark, Nurturing Love Through Parenthood, How to Balance Marriage and Kids
|
Sep 02, 2024 |
|
Ep 88 - Designing Authority: How Societies Shape Power, Rights, and Choices
|
Aug 26, 2024 |
|
Ep 87 - Speaking of Honor: Navigating Language, Culture, and Family Bonds Abroad
|
Aug 19, 2024 |
|
Ep 86 - Together we Parent: The Art of Tag-Teaming, Sharing the Load, and embracing Fatherhood. Post-flight debrief
|
Aug 12, 2024 |
|
Ep 85 - Harvesting Valuable Lessons: What Clarkson’s Farm is Teaching Us, Practicing Cultivating Responsibility In Our Kids
|
Aug 05, 2024 |
|
Ep 84 - When Grief Hits: Conversations on Loss and Hope
|
Jul 29, 2024 |
|
Ep 83 - Part 2 - Navigating Highs and Lows of Life as an Avoider/Vacillator couple
|
Jul 22, 2024 |
|
Ep 82 - Navigating Highs and Lows of Life as an Avoider/Vacillator couple, The Thankless Job of Motherhood
|
Jul 08, 2024 |
|
Ep 81 - Contingency Planning: Flying with Toddlers. Learning from Past Mistakes and Preparing for Success
|
Jun 24, 2024 |
|
Ep 80 - Facing my dad’s worsening health update, hope in hurt, and going through it together.
|
Jun 17, 2024 |
|
Ep 79 - How I Cured My Insomnia: After 4 Years & 3 Doctors
|
Jun 10, 2024 |
|
Ep 78 - Preparing for Marriage Advice Part 3, Meeting the One, Things we hope to teach our kids
|
Jun 03, 2024 |
|
Ep 77 - “Preparing for Marriage” Advice Part 2, What to do in your singleness, our experience before getting married
|
May 27, 2024 |
|
Ep 76 - Why “Preparing for Marriage” Advice is Misleading, Reflecting on how we met, lessons from life we lived in singleness
|
May 20, 2024 |
|
Ep 75 - Unlocking Effective Leadership: Our Journey & New Website Launch!
|
May 13, 2024 |
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Ep 74 - The Coddling of the American Family, Discussing Weak Fathers and Devouring Mothers Podcast
|
May 06, 2024 |
|
Ep 73 - Wheels of Wisdom: The Thrifty Couples Thoughts to Car Shopping.
|
Apr 29, 2024 |
|
Ep 72 - Money Talks: Inside the Wallet of an 8-Year Married Couple
|
Apr 22, 2024 |
|
Ep 71 - 8 Years Strong Part 2: Reviewing Reddit’s Marriage Advice
|
Apr 15, 2024 |
|
Ep 70 - 8 Years Strong Part 1: Reviewing Reddit’s Marriage Advice
|
Apr 08, 2024 |
|
Ep 69 - Confronting with Care, the act of Constructive Criticism
|
Apr 01, 2024 |
|
Ep 68 - Optimism’s Edge: Identifying Disillusionment with Feedback
|
Mar 25, 2024 |
|
Ep 67 - Embracing Failure: the Key to Growth, Cultivating Leadership through feedback
|
Mar 18, 2024 |
|
Ep 66 - Navigating the Duality of Work and Motherhood, Ministry and Family
|
Mar 11, 2024 |
|
Ep 65 - Mental Health Self Care and the Dopamine Machine in our Pockets
|
Mar 04, 2024 |
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Ep 64 - Identifying Toxic Positivity, the Difference between Feelings and Emotions in Leadership
|
Feb 26, 2024 |
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Ep 63 - Overcoming Idolatry, What is an idol?, The more subtle idols in your life
|
Feb 19, 2024 |
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Ep 62 - Experiencing and embracing change, recapping the Andrew Huberman podcast episode on pain
|
Feb 12, 2024 |
|
Ep 61 - The Idol of Affirmation, MJ’s experience and how he fights it
|
Feb 05, 2024 |
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Ep 60 - Time Management and how we’ve been consistent with the podcast
|
Jan 29, 2024 |
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Ep 59 - A review of After Death, a documentary about Near Death Experiences
|
Jan 22, 2024 |
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Ep 58 - How I got into professional coaching, Coffee and Dancing as hobbies
|
Jan 15, 2024 |
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Ep 57 - How to date as new parents, Moving to a new city and how it affects your dating life
|
Jan 08, 2024 |
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Ep 56 - 2023 Wrapped: Tare Family Edition, Activity vs Productivity and using benchmarks and reflection to measure effectiveness
|
Jan 01, 2024 |
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Ep 55 - Breaking inter generational habits in parenting, differences we’ve observed in how we individually approach being a mom and a dad
|
Dec 25, 2023 |
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Ep 54 - Taking On Home Improvements as a Visionary versus an Innovator, Contrasting Complementary Family Dynamics
|
Dec 18, 2023 |
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Ep 53 - Bringing together two different Christmas Traditions, Should Christians include Santa
|
Dec 11, 2023 |
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Ep 52 - 1st Podcastversary! Insights after 52 episodes of podcasting, lessons learned, and our vision for the podcast’s future.
|
Dec 04, 2023 |
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Ep 51 - Dave Ramsey did wrong, How Ash would consult him professionally
|
Nov 27, 2023 |
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Ep 50 - Breadth vs Depth in Marriage, Vulnerability breeds intimacy, and checking in on our marriage
|
Nov 20, 2023 |
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Ep 49 - Plugging Into the Local Church after Moving, Continuing conversations about ministry, Sourdough Update
|
Nov 13, 2023 |
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Ep 48 - The dangers of only calling it ministry when its inside the church, making sourdough bread
|
Nov 06, 2023 |
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Ep 47 - Hits Different: Going to weddings as a new parent, what I would tell my younger self
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Oct 30, 2023 |
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Ep 46 - Why a hyper-pragmatic view on conversation sometimes fails, living with an external processor
|
Oct 23, 2023 |
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Ep 45 - Fatherhood in an epidemic of loneliness and purposelessness, death and living to tell the story
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Oct 16, 2023 |
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Ep 44 - How often do you think about the Roman Empire? Finding purpose in a culture of convenience
|
Oct 09, 2023 |
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Ep 43 - Demonstrating vs Expressing - Is saying I’m taking care of you good enough? A review of the Bedjet
|
Oct 02, 2023 |
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Ep 42 - How to Lead Discussions, Gather Feedback, Examples from a Real Fight between Ash and MJ
|
Sep 25, 2023 |
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Ep 41 - Finding Community Update, Weekly Rhythms for Mental Minimalism, Lawn Care Update
|
Sep 18, 2023 |
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Ep 40 - Reacting to Andrew Huberman’s Practice of Prayer, Finding Community in a new City
|
Sep 11, 2023 |
|
Ep 39 - Arguing for church leader accountability, serving in the church, and a lively discourse at home
|
Sep 04, 2023 |
|
Ep 38 - Health Journey Update, Convincing Ashley that Teslas are awesome
|
Aug 28, 2023 |
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Ep 37 - Why I chose to leave my professional career, From C-suite to not working outside the home, & Individualism
|
Aug 21, 2023 |
|
Ep 36 - Overcoming Fear, Cancer, and Anchoring to the Truth of Scripture
|
Aug 14, 2023 |
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Ep 35 - How Closeness isn’t always Togetherness, How Women have no Bro Code
|
Aug 07, 2023 |
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Ep 34 - How to bring focus to your family: The Word of the Year.
|
Jul 31, 2023 |
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Ep 33 - Charlotte House Update, The Only Way we Got Here, & Natural Disasters
|
Jul 24, 2023 |
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Ep 32 - How we bought our house, Vision vs Strategy, Effective Leadership Teams
|
Jul 10, 2023 |
|
Ep 31 - How to Live in a Multigenerational Family Team, Benefits and Challenges, Why we do it
|
Jul 04, 2023 |
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Ep 30 - Moving to Charlotte, Mourning the loss of a loved one, faithfulness and favor
|
Jun 26, 2023 |
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Ep 29 - Quick 1 Minute Update, Upcoming Episodes, Thank you!
|
Jun 19, 2023 |
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Ep 28 - Lessons of a Vacillator and Avoider, What we’ve learned in our relationship
|
Jun 12, 2023 |
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Ep 27 - How the Vacillator and Avoider Collide, Breaking down the break down in relationship, our love pattern
|
Jun 05, 2023 |
|
Ep 26 - How MJ Loves, the Avoider, What I would tell my younger self
|
May 29, 2023 |
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Ep 25 - How We Love & Argue, The Vacillator, How it affects our relationship
|
May 22, 2023 |
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Ep 24 - How Some Pastors Burn Out, Spiritual Gifts, and what COVID revealed about church
|
May 15, 2023 |
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Ep 23 - You don’t have to Tithe, Radical Generosity, & Other Financial Church conversations that make us uncomfortable
|
May 08, 2023 |
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Ep 22 - Guest Episode with Albert & Yemi: Living as a multi-ethnic family in America
|
May 01, 2023 |
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Ep 21 - The Information Age is Killing Mentorship, Society prevents multigenerational knowledge transfer, and other ideas that I might be wrong about
|
Apr 24, 2023 |
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Episode 20 Relationships: Our Conflicting Emotions, how we process it differently, how important it is in our everyday conversation
|
Apr 17, 2023 |
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Ep 19 Relationships: Stating the problem ISN’T the solution, Intuition in relationships & working through unmet expectations
|
Apr 10, 2023 |
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Ep 18 Relationships: Speaking the Truth in Love, Individualism vs Collectivism
|
Apr 03, 2023 |
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Ep 17 Relationships: Shoulder to shoulder vs face to face, how we connect as mom & dad, listener question
|
Mar 27, 2023 |
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Ep 16 Listener Question: How was it like going from 1 to 2 kids
|
Mar 20, 2023 |
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Ep 15 Your Digital Footprint is part of your Legacy - Ideal Week Part 3
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Mar 13, 2023 |
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Ep 14 Capitalize on Strengths, Be Honest about your weaknesses; Introversion vs extroversion - Ideal Week Part 2
|
Mar 06, 2023 |
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Ep 13 What are You Running After? The Ideal Week - Part 1
|
Feb 27, 2023 |
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Ep 12 The Sabbath - Our Foundational Rhythm
|
Feb 20, 2023 |
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Ep 11 How the Physical and Spiritual Overlap - The Everyday Ordinary
|
Feb 13, 2023 |
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Ep 10 There is No Morally Neutral Art, The power of Music & Routine, And Talking Tech Around our Kids
|
Feb 06, 2023 |
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Ep 9 The #1 Conflict in our Relationship (Probably)
|
Jan 30, 2023 |
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Ep 8 How Parenthood Changed Us
|
Jan 23, 2023 |
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Ep 7 How did we get here? Action vs Intent
|
Jan 16, 2023 |
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Ep 6 It’s all about Communication
|
Jan 09, 2023 |
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Ep 5 Knowledge vs Wisdom
|
Jan 09, 2023 |
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Ep 4 Walking with someone through Grief
|
Jan 09, 2023 |
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Ep 3 Our Health Journey
|
Jan 09, 2023 |
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Ep 2 2022 Year in Review
|
Jan 09, 2023 |
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Ep 1 Making A Name for Yourself
|
Jan 09, 2023 |
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Episode 0 - Introduction
|
Dec 23, 2022 |