Engineering Love

By Kim Polinder

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Image by Kim Polinder

Category: Relationships

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Episodes: 16

Description

Most of us aren't fighting because we're bad communicators. We're fighting because our nervous systems are hijacked, our past is leaking into the present, and we don't know how to translate what we feel into something another human can actually hear. This podcast is about what's really happening underneath conflict, shutdown, anxiety, resentment, and emotional exhaustion in relationships. Not pop psychology. Not quick fixes. And not "just communicate better." Hosted by Kim Polinder, associate therapist and relationship coach, each episode breaks down the emotional mechanics behind fights, attachment patterns, shame responses, trauma adaptations, and self-esteem. You'll learn why insight alone doesn't change behavior, how coping strategies that once kept you safe can start sabotaging your relationships, and what it actually looks like to build emotional regulation, repair after conflict, and self-trust over time. Expect grounded psychology, real relational examples, and practical language you can use in your own life. This is for people who want to understand themselves more clearly, stop repeating the same patterns, and build relationships that feel steadier, more honest, and less exhausting. If you've ever thought "Why do we keep having the same fight?" or "I know better, so why can't I do better?" you're in the right place.

Episode Date
The Truth About Resentment: 6 Types, Why It Stays, and How to Actually Heal It
Apr 07, 2026
When Only One Emotional Tone Is Allowed: Dismissive vs Anxious Attachment in Conflict
Feb 27, 2026
AI Is Great at Insight. Growth Requires Integration.
Feb 13, 2026
Why Eating Disorders Are Not About Food
Feb 06, 2026
Thinking About Divorce? What to Know Before You Call a Lawyer
Jan 29, 2026
Why Insight Isn't Enough to Change Your Behavior
Jan 21, 2026
Procrastination: Why You Avoid What Matters Most
Jan 15, 2026
Why They Shut Down and You Start Doubting Yourself
Nov 28, 2023
Why Their "Change" Feels Fake: Trauma Bonds, Betrayal, and the Illusion of Repair
Jul 21, 2023
When They Shut Down, When They Stall, and When You Carry Too Much
May 01, 2023
Empathy Without Fixing: Grief, Emotional Support, and Breaking Self-Sabotage
Apr 08, 2023
Boundaries Without Guilt: People-Pleasing, Family Estrangement, and Relationship Triggers
Mar 19, 2023
Self-Esteem, People-Pleasing, and Learning to Be Your Own Anchor
Mar 09, 2023
Resentment Explained: Abandonment, Infidelity, and Lowering the Pedestal
Feb 16, 2023
Love Languages Revisited: Childhood Wounds, Texting Anxiety, and Infidelity
Feb 09, 2023
Engineering Love: How Relationships Break, Repair, and Repeat
Feb 02, 2023