Am I The Problem?

By Helen Villiers MA

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Category: Mental Health

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Episodes: 46

Description

You grew up neurodivergent in a toxic household. Now you can't tell if you're the problem, if you're overreacting, or if the thing you're upset about is even a thing. You apologise for existing, you can't say no without a panic attack, and you genuinely don't know what you want for dinner. Am I The Problem? is a podcast for late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic adults working out what got installed wrong when neurodivergent wiring met an emotionally abusive or narcissistic family. Each week, host Helen Villiers takes one specific glitch, the apology reflex, the inability to know what you actually feel, the panic when you try to set a limit, and reverse-engineers it. What the neurodivergence is doing, what the trauma is doing, and what to actually do about it. Mostly no, you're not the problem. Sometimes, a bit. Either way, here's the mechanism. Helen Villiers is a psychotherapist with ADHD and co-author of You're Not The Problem. She specialises in adults raised by narcissistic and emotionally abusive parents, particularly those also navigating ADHD, autism, and late diagnosis. Topics include alexithymia, masking, the fawn response, executive function, emotional dysregulation, interoception, hypervigilance, people pleasing, learned helplessness, identity rebuilding after toxic parenting, and the specific challenges of parenting neurodivergent children when you're neurodivergent yourself. Is This A Thing? is the paid companion show, available on Apple Podcasts Subscriptions or included with Core tier membership and above inside The Hub, Helen's ND inclusive membership community for people recovering from emotional abuse, find it at liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub. Released in seasons of 12 episodes. New episodes weekly while we're in one, breaks in between to come up with the next.

helenvilliersliberation.substack.com

Episode Date
You Don't Know What You Actually Feel
May 20, 2026
40. Is It Autism or Trauma? (Replay)
Jan 14, 2026
39. Leaving With No Resources
Jan 07, 2026
38. Why Does My Body Still Feel Like a Battleground?
Dec 24, 2025
37. Is it Still Abuse if She's Autistic?
Dec 17, 2025
36. Is It My Identity or a Survival Strategy?
Dec 10, 2025
35. How Do I Heal From a Friend's Betrayal?
Dec 03, 2025
34. Parenting After Trauma
Nov 26, 2025
33. Am I Abandoning My Disabled Sibling?
Nov 19, 2025
32. The Hardest Thing About Going No Contact with Harriet Shearsmith
Nov 12, 2025
31. Why Does Being Seen Still Feel Unsafe?
Nov 05, 2025
30. How Do I Learn to Exist When I Was Raised to Disappear?
Oct 29, 2025
29. How Do We Support ADHD at Home, at School and in Adulthood?
Oct 22, 2025
28. Why Has My Mother Rewritten Our Past?
Oct 15, 2025
27. How Do I Find My Voice?
Oct 08, 2025
26. Can I Heal From CPTSD and Still See My Mum?
Oct 01, 2025
Body Image and Shame with The Fat Counsellors - Hub Bytes
Sep 24, 2025
24. My Kids Are Neurodiverse, How Can I Parent Without A Blueprint?
Sep 17, 2025
23. What If I’m Becoming The Parent I Ran From?
Sep 10, 2025
22. Why Is Knowing My Dad Something I Have To Hide?
Sep 09, 2025
21. Was My Mother Good or Bad?
Sep 09, 2025
20. Should I Tell My Children About Their Abusive Grandparents?
Sep 09, 2025
Is the Fawn Response real?
Aug 29, 2025
Boundaries and Trauma with Juliet Grayson
Aug 13, 2025
19. How Does Guilt Protect Me? Part 2 of 2
Aug 13, 2025
18. Why Does Silence Hurt More? Part 1 of 2
Aug 06, 2025
Gaslighting - The Expert Series
Aug 05, 2025
17. Why Were They Willing to Sacrifice Me?
Jul 30, 2025
16. Does My Trauma Make Me A Bad Parent?
Jul 23, 2025
15. Was I Too Sensitive?
Jul 16, 2025
14. Am I Being Unreasonable?
Jul 09, 2025
13. Why Did They Choose My Abuser Over Me?
Jul 02, 2025
12. Did I Do The Right Thing?
Jun 25, 2025
11. Why Does My Daughter Trigger Me?
Jun 18, 2025
10. How Do I Know Who I Am Without Her?
Jun 11, 2025
9. Did My Autism Make Me Hard to Love?
Jun 04, 2025
8. How Can My Own Mother Abandon Me?
May 28, 2025
7. What Can I Do to Make Her Love Me?
May 21, 2025
6. Why Am I Scared to Say No?
May 14, 2025
5. Was He Safe or Is It Toxic Hope?
May 07, 2025
4. Is It Meant To Be Like This?
Apr 30, 2025
3. Should I Call My Mother?
Apr 23, 2025
2. Is It Autism or Trauma?
Apr 16, 2025
1. Is My Child a Narcissist?
Apr 09, 2025
The Expert Series Trailer
Apr 07, 2025
Introducing The Liberation Effect
Apr 05, 2025