The Art of Charm

By The Art of Charm

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Subscribers: 3977
Reviews: 3


 Apr 24, 2021

Max
 Mar 11, 2019
this show has changed my life, sometimes in surprising ways. I would recommend this to anyone who wants to take action to improve their life

Trang
 Feb 10, 2019
Good

Description

The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, and becoming your best self with the help of Johnny and AJ, the company’s founders. Johnny and AJ bring their 11 years of coaching experience from their famous Bootcamps, where they host clients in Los Angeles from all over the world and they share their stories, best practices and themselves on this weekly podcast. Not only does The Art of Charm help everyday people, including active members of the military, learn how to become higher performers, better spouses, partners, and coworkers, they dig deep into human behavior, the science behind it, and demystify what we do and why we do it.


Episode Date
David Siegel | Build An Epic Social Circle Anywhere With This One Simple Platform
4372
In today’s episode, we talk about MeetUp with David Siegel. David is the CEO of MeetUp and the host of the new podcast Keep Connected.   People are feeling lonely now more than ever, so what can you do if you’re feeling lonely, where can you go to meet new friends who share your interests, and what is the cheat code to making new friends anywhere you go?     What to Listen For How did the Art of Charm get started using MeetUp? – 2:50  When creating an account on MeetUp, should you try to join MeetUp groups or create/host your own?  Why are people suffering from loneliness now more than ever and what can you do about it?   The evolution of MeetUp through the pandemic – 10:51 How did the pandemic affect people’s willingness to meet up using sites like MeetUp? Is it a good time to start attending events and MeetUp groups in person yet?   Are MeetUp groups welcoming to introverts?  – 24:15 What kinds of MeetUp groups should an introvert attend and avoid? Is MeetUp a good tool for professional networking? What sports should you look into if you’re interested in trying something new and popular? Can you find MeetUp groups that center around happiness and mental well-being?   The cheat code to meeting a lot of people – 43:52  What are 3 traits of the best organizers on MeetUp? How do the best hosts on MeetUp provide great experiences for the attendees? What are the 3 steps in giving value that solidify a connection with guests and members who attend your events? What are the top 5 best practices in networking can you implement in your next MeetUp event?   In a post-COVID world, people are struggling to figure out ways to be social again and get a handle on the loneliness they experienced during the lockdown. What better way to do both than find a group of likeminded humans on a site like MeetUp? One of the major advantages MeetUp groups/events have for people who aren’t sure how to make friends is that MeetUp self-selects for people who are open to meeting new people. That means people who attend MeetUp groups are going to be friendly, welcoming, and approachable.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode MeetUp Keep Connected Podcast hosted by MeetUp CEO David Siegel David Siegel on LinkedIn David Siegel on Twitter   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Jul 19, 2021
Jeb Blount | Sell Yourself, Your Ideas and Your Work by Mastering These Techniques
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In today’s episode, we cover the mastery of sales with Jeb Blount. Jeb is the best-selling author of over 13 books and among the world’s most respected thought leaders on sales, leadership, and customer experience. He helps leaders to develop leadership and coaching skills and shows them how to apply a more effective organizational design and cultivate a high performance sales culture.   Sales is often considered a field for extroverts, so why do world-class salespeople consider introverts to have the greatest potential, what can you do as an introvert to become a great salesperson, and what is the biggest challenge introverts face in sales?     What to Listen For How Jeb Blount get started in sales – 1:06  Can introverts be world-class performers in sales?  What are the three myths about sales? – 5:35  What are the five basic questions people ask themselves about you when talking to you? What do so many people get wrong about being great at sales? What is the greatest gift you can give another human being and why is that gift critical in the world of sales?   The one problem introverts have in sales – 9:46 What are the two types of listening and when should you use each one?   What can you do to stop making assumptions?  – 23:45 What is the WAIT acronym and how can you use it to keep yourself in check when interacting with potential customers? Why are moments of silence in conversation so important in sales?   Theses traits mean certain failure for people new to sales – 35:00  What is one of the biggest hurdles entrepreneurs face when starting a business for the first time? What can you do to overcome yesterday’s mistakes every day you wake up?   Strategies for handling objections – 46:45  What framework can you use for overcoming objections? What is the difference between a good salesperson and a great salesperson?   Introverts aren’t regularly associated with great salesmanship, but as the world evolves, introverts have an edge in sales. People want to be valued and they want to be understood. The more you can listen and ask questions, the better idea you will have about how you can solve their problem.    A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Jeb Blount’s website Sales Gravy Sales EQ by Jeb Blount   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Jul 12, 2021
Wes Schaeffer | Crush It in Sales by Adopting this Bulletproof Mindset
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In today’s episode, we cover the fundamentals of sales with Wes Schaeffer. Wes is the creator and owner of The Sales Whisperer, a sales training, marketing and consulting firm with an emphasis on CRM & email marketing software sales, support and optimization.   Sales skills are integral to our daily lives because we are regularly trying to solve problems and get other people to buy into our ideas, so what are the fundamentals of great salesmanship, how can you work to improve your sales skills, and why do you need to be a great listener to be great at sales?     What to Listen For How did Wes Schaeffer get started in sales – 3:00  Do you need to be an entrepreneur to get the most out of life? How should you think about your day job if you dream of being your own boss one day? The biggest misconception about people who are not in sales – 8:10  Why do we need some degree of sales skills to be successful in all areas of life and what can you do to improve yours?   The new ABC’s of sales – 12:35 What is the difference between influencing, persuading, and manipulating someone? What do great sales people understand about the actual significance of the transaction stage in making a sale?   What is the difference between mediocre and great salesmanship?  – 24:00 What mistakes do new people in sales make to shoot themselves in the foot over the long term? What should you be trying to identify when talking to a potential customer that will allow you to determine the perfect product or service to address their needs?   The two halves of listening – 33:40  Why do people experience beginner's luck? What should you focus on when improving your sales skills? What is the difference between education and training?   Anytime you are trying to influence or persuade someone, you are utilizing sales skills. It can be something as simple as convincing your friends where the best place to get dinner is, or persuading your boss to give you a two week extension on a deadline.    A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Wes Schaeffer's website The Sales Podcast hosted by Wes Schaeffer The Sales Whisperer Way by Wes Schaeffer   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Jul 05, 2021
Toolbox | Defeat Your Deepest Fears and Become Unstoppable
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In today’s episode, we cover becoming unstoppable with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.  Anyone can develop confidence that makes you unstoppable, but what does it even mean to be unstoppable, what is stopping you from being more confident today, and why does avoiding the process lead to feeling miserable? What to Listen For Why do most people never become confident? – 3:22  What is the biggest misconception people have about developing confidence? What are the 3 reasons people can’t start being more confident? – 5:30  What assumptions do you make about other people that get in the way of developing your confidence? What does a real-world definition of confidence look like?   What does it mean to have unstoppable confidence? – 11:00 How should you start thinking about your thoughts and emotions if you want unstoppable confidence? Why is it dangerous to wait for you to have confidence before taking action?   Stop reading books and take action  – 18:00 Why does avoiding your fears make taking action more difficult? Why does reading too much actually cripple your ability to grow and reach your potential?   Why does avoiding discomfort cause life to suck? – 25:50  Why is it detrimental to your growth to surround yourself with people who avoid fear and who should you surround yourself with?   What can you do to start attracting a high-value social circle? – 32:20 Why is growth impossible as long as you are in your comfort zone? How do confident people think about fear and anxiety? – 50:45 The path to unstoppable confidence is a simple one. Stop reading books and take action, stop avoiding discomfort in life because avoiding it will cause your life to suck, and attract high-value social circles by thinking about fear and anxiety differently than most people do.    A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrates your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Become Unstoppable with the Art of Charm   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Jun 28, 2021
Erica Dhawan | Communicate Powerfully by Mastering Digital Body Language
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In today’s episode, we cover digital body language with Erica Dhawan. Erica studied human innovation and collaboration for over 15 years, shared her insights with over 200 audiences around the world, and wrote the new best-selling book, Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust and Connection, No Matter the Distance. Now that we are working remotely more than ever before, our digital body language is crucial to our success in the workplace, but what is digital body language, how is it different from physical body language, and what can you start doing today to stand out as a leader?  What to Listen For What is digital body language? – 8:09  Should you be concerned about your background on a Zoom call? What should you be concerned about most when you’re on a video call? How is digital body language different from the body language we use when face to face? How do you figure out what norms are acceptable in digital communication? – 13:44  What assumptions do we need to stop making when communicating digitally and how are those assumptions eroding at our ability to communicate effectively? What can we do to make sure we’re not misreading messages and emails?   What can we do to set clear expectations for digital communication? – 19:55 How do we collaborate competently in the digital age when so much time is wasted in unclear communication?   What are the four anxiety provoking events in digital communication?  – 22:52 What two questions should you ask yourself when you realize you’re getting stressed out or anxious about a message or email someone sent you? What should you do if you feel like a team member or friend seems disinterested in a group conversation or Zoom call?   How do Zoom calls limit the generation of new ideas? – 34:44  What can you do to foster team chemistry and help team members work together more effectively without team building activities?   What three things can you do to maintain engagement over Zoom calls? – 40:00 What can you do to be more engaged in meetings if you are the only person on Zoom and everyone else is in a meeting room together? What are the best practices for onboarding digital new hires? How is our digital body language changing our physical body language? – 54:15 What ground rules can you incorporate today to set expectations for digital communication? The digital age has caused an interesting shift in the way we communicate. Our tone and facial expressions are no longer conveyed through words alone, but also in our digital body language. Our digital body language is conveyed through many things including what’s behind you when you’re on a Zoom call, whether you use Slack or email to send a message, and the “tone” of your text messages.  Therefore, it’s critical that we set clear expectations for digital communication to keep our teams on track and engaged as studies show up to 4 hours of productivity are lost per week due to unclear communication.  A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Erica Dhawan’s website Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust and Connection, No Matter the Distance by Erica Dhawan The Digital Body Language Expert Course Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Jun 21, 2021
Diana Hill | Effortlessly Adapt to Any Situation and Excel Under Pressure
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In today’s episode, we cover psychological flexibility with Dr. Diana Hill. Diana helps her clients build a values-rich life and unpacks the science of acceptance commitment therapy (ACT) through the cutting-edge podcast Psychologists Off the Clock, online teachings, and her book ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Life throws curveballs at us all the time, but if you have psychological flexibility you can be prepared for them—so what is psychological flexibility, why is it detrimental to our health and fulfillment to be psychologically rigid, and how do you start developing psychological flexibility?    What to Listen For Why did Dr. Diana Hill pursue a career in ACT? – 0:00  What is psychological flexibility and why is it important for all of us to work on it if we don’t want to be crushed by the events and challenges in our lives?  What are the 6 processes involved in psychological flexibility and why is it more important to focus on the processes than the resulting outcomes? Why does focusing on goals lead to disappointment in the long run? What makes some of us psychologically rigid? – 4:42  What areas in your life does psychological rigidity prevent you from being the best version of yourself? What can you do to identify the intrinsic values in your life so you can stop relying on future outcomes to bring you fulfillment instead of present processes? What is integrative psychology?   What are the downsides of striving? – 15:25 What is experiential avoidance and how is it linked to unhealthy striving? What is values-based striving?    How do you develop self-compassion? – 21:05 What practices can you start using today to develop self-compassion? Why is self-compassion important if you want to be a top-performer?    Why does avoiding pain make life harder? – 36:20  How should we look at and deal with pain if trying to avoid it makes life more painful? What are self-stories and how do they limit our ability to perceive the world around us and achieve our potential?    What can you do to help kids build psychological flexibility? – 43:58 Where should parents start if they want to help and encourage their children to build psychological flexibility so they are better able to deal with the challenges they will face in life? What value can you expect to get out of the ACT Daily Journal? What makes you resilient to the ups and downs of life? We all face challenges, but some are more flexible than others. Building psychological flexibility is a lifelong journey that requires self-awareness in your thoughts, emotions, behavior patterns, and relationships with others. The difference between being psychologically rigid vs. having resilience may seem like an abstract concept—but it can have drastic implications for our health and well-being over time if we're not careful!    A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Dr Diana Hill’s website Psychologists Off the Clock Podcast ACT DAILY JOURNAL: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Jun 14, 2021
Rich Diviney | 5 Navy Seal Attributes To Overcome Any Obstacle And Achieve Optimal Performance
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In today’s episode, we cover how to develop the confidence and fearlessness of Navy SEALS with Rich Diviney. Rich draws upon 20+ years of experience as a Navy SEAL Officer where he completed more than 13 overseas deployments. Since retirement in early 2017, Rich has worked as a speaker, facilitator, and consultant with the Chapman & Co. Leadership Institute and Simon Sinek Inc.   Anyone can learn a skill, but the same cannot be said for attributes—so what is the difference between skills and attributes, how do you develop the attributes you do have, and how can you identify what your strongest attributes are so you can lean into them and be successful?    What to Listen For Why did Rich Diviney want to be a Navy SEAL  - 0:00  How did Rich’s SEAL training prepare him for the chaos and uncertainty of the pandemic? Why is it important to train both the mind and body when it comes to developing resilience? How did military life prepare service persons for the pandemic - 11:10  What is elemental human behavior and how does it drive you to act the way you do? What can you do to better understand what advice will actually help you and what advice will waste your time?   How do you figure out the life best suited for you - 18:04 What is the difference between skills and attributes and why is one more important in times of stress or uncertainty? What does it take to develop an attribute and can anyone develop any attribute?   How can we create opportunities to develop attributes? - 25:24 How do you know what attributes are worth developing and which ones are a waste of your time? What is the difference between narcissism and arrogance, and which one is actually good to have in healthy amounts? If you’re a narcissist, what can you do to mitigate it and keep it in control?   What attribute is critical to problem solving? - 36:02  How do Navy SEALS face their fears and what can you learn from how they do it?  What can you do to develop your courage? Why is it important for everyone to develop their ability to take responsibility?   What can you do to develop your confidence? - 48:26 How do you define true confidence? What actually is fear and how do we develop the ability to work through it? How do Navy SEALS handle uncertainty and how can we apply it to everyday situations?   The world is in need of more individuals who can identify their strengths. If you know your strong points, then it will be much easier for you to find work that matches those talents and skills so that you are able to excel at what makes the most sense for YOU!   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Connect with Rich Diviney on LinkedIn The Attributes by Rich Diviney The Attributes Self Assessment Tool Art of Charm Bootcamp! Core Confidence Coaching Program   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Jun 07, 2021
Toolbox | 3 Steps to Break Out of Small Talk and Instantly Build Rapport
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In today’s episode, we cover small talk and smart talk with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.  If you want to make meaningful connections with people, you have to transition from small talk to smart talk, but what is smart talk, why is vulnerability key, and how do you know what questions to ask? What to Listen For Small Talk and Smart Talk  - 0:00  How do you transition from small talk to more meaningful conversations that actually create connections? Why is vulnerability important when selling someone on an idea or solution, and how do you use vulnerability to do it? How to be vulnerable using the cave analogy - 4:30  What is the cave analogy and how can you use it to lead a conversation to a strong connection? What does it mean to move laterally and vertically in a conversation and why is it detrimental to only move in one direction? How do you know what questions to ask when making small talk?   The FORD acronym for making small talk - 10:30 What four basic ideas can you use to come up with easy questions to start a conversation? What should you do if you find yourself in conversational dead ends, or if the person you’re talking to is giving you short responses?   How do talk about yourself in a meaningful way - 19:05 How do you talk about yourself without coming across as boastful or arrogant? Once you connect with someone, how do you deepen that connection?   If you want to make meaningful connections with people, you have to transition from small talk to smart talk. What is the difference between small and smart talk? When we think of small talk, most often it's just a way for us to pass time or fill an awkward silence. Smart talk is about asking the right questions and listening closely to what they have to say. This will help you understand their needs on a deeper level, build stronger relationships with them, and form better connections than if all you did was small talk. But without vulnerability in your interactions, there’s little chance of connecting with someone new or deepening an existing relationship.    A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode The Art of Charm Small Talk Cheat Sheet Eavesdropping on Happiness: Well-being is Related to Having Less Small Talk and More Substantive Conversations The Art of Charm Immersive Bootcamp   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
May 31, 2021
Tim Grover | Achieve Superhuman Focus by Annihilating Distractions
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In today’s episode, we cover winning with Tim Grover. Tim is the CEO of ATTACK Athletics, a keynote speaker and consultant to business leaders, athletes (including Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade), and elite achievers, and is the preeminent authority on the science and art of physical and mental dominance and achieving excellence.   Winning is something we all experience in a lifetime, but what does it take to win at winning, how do winners manage their time with everything else they do, and what do you need to do if you want to be the best at what you do?   What to Listen For How did Tim Grover get his start working with Michael Jordan - 0:00 How do you build trust with clients when starting out as a trainer or coach? What do elite performers do to manage self-doubt and insecurity, and what can you learn from how they do it? The three categories of winners and their mindsets - 10:54 What 3 categories can individuals be broken down into and why will being in 2 of the 3 categories prevent you from being the best at what you do? How do you need to approach failure if you want to be a winner? What mindset do you need to stay ahead of everyone around you who is also trying to win? Why is it not enough to only know the fundamentals if you want to win? What do you need to look for to make winners keep winning - 24:00 What allows people to win when everyone around them can’t? How do you coach people through their insecurities so they can come out the other side as winners? How do professional winners push through their distractions to stay focused? Where did the Mamba Mentality originate and what did it represent off the court?   Develop the focus and time management of champions - 39:42 What is the difference between managing your time and managing your focus, and why should you avoid one if you want to be the best at anything? What do you need to do to create balance and time in your life? What role does selfishness play in winning? How do you set boundaries when you’re surrounded by people who want your attention all the time?   Elite performers don’t just have talent and skill. They also use their minds to manage self-doubt, insecurity, and distractions in order to stay focused on the task at hand. And there is no one way that works for everyone. What we can say with certainty about how you need to approach failure if you want to be a winner comes down to this simple but powerful truth: You must see your failures as opportunities for growth—as learning experiences which will help make you better than ever before!    A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Tim Grover’s website Winning: The Unforgiving Race to Greatness by Tim Grover   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
May 24, 2021
Ethan Kross | Dominate Your Inner-Dialogue and Become The Ultimate Leader
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In today’s episode, we cover our inner voices and chatter with Dr. Ethan Kross. Ethan is an American experimental psychologist, neuroscientist and writer, who specializes in emotion regulation. He is a professor of psychology and management at the University of Michigan and director of the Emotion & Self Control Laboratory there.   We all have that voice in our heads that can feel out of our control sometimes, but why is it there, how can you use it to build confidence, and how does the world around you influence it in good and bad ways?   What to Listen For Introduction - 0:00 Why is it a bad idea to turn inward when you encounter challenges in life, and what should you do instead? Why do we have a voice inside our heads that never stops talking? How can you use the voice in your head as a tool to strengthen your mental capability? What is the dark side of our inner voice and what can we do to manage it? How do you manage your inner voice - 10:30 What can we do to harness the power of our inner voice to help us rather than hold us back and limit our potential for success and happiness? How can the people around you be helpful or harmful when it comes to managing your inner voice? What is co-rumination and how can it hinder your ability to see situations clearly and move forward after painful experiences?   Tips for nurturing healthy chatter - 40:30 Is it possible to silence the chatter in our heads? How does digital interaction with one another harm us compared to real face to face interaction? What two things should you consider when it comes to social media and your inner voice? What is good sleep hygiene and why is it important to get uninterrupted quality rest? What can you do to help people who might be struggling but refuse to ask for help?   Developing a healthy relationship with your inner voice can help you build unbreakable confidence and lead effortlessly. You can start by acknowledging it and making room for it in your life, instead of trying to silence or ignore it. Observe it and pay attention to when you’re giving it too much control over what you’re thinking about or feeling. As you do that, be open-minded about the world around you—engaging new people, experiences, and ideas will help broaden your horizons, push your confidence higher, and keep your inner voice in check.     A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Dr. Ethan Kross’s website Chatter The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
May 17, 2021
Dr. Nicole LePera | Heal Your Trauma and Forge the Life You Want
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In today’s episode, we cover what it means to work on yourself with Dr. Nicole LePera. She is the creator of the popular Instagram account @the.holistic.psychologist, was educated in clinical psychology at Cornell University and The New School of Social Research, and is the author of the best-selling How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self.   Introduction It takes a lot of work to go from insight to effecting real long-lasting change, so how do you bridge the gap, why does focusing on the flaws of others hurt your own development, and how does your lack of emotional expressiveness take away from your life satisfaction?      Introduction - 4:00    What does it mean to “do the work” when embarking on a path of self-development or healing after trauma? Why is it important to bridge the gap between insight and action and why do so many people fail to, leaving them unable to make progress? How do you overcome your own resistance to change?     Detangling trauma from an idealized past - 13:32    What can you do to identify trauma in your life that is causing you to self-sabotage without even realizing it? What are the most common self-sabotaging behaviors people do without realizing it? What are trauma bonds and how does it show up in your relationships in destructive ways you might not even realize?     Your unknown expectations can destroy your relationships - 28:28   What role do expectations play in trauma bonds influencing our current relationships? What do you do when you are ready to make a change but your friends or family aren’t supportive or ready to make changes themselves?     How should we think about emotions - 37:46   What steps can you take to start valuing your emotions instead of dismissing them or allowing other people to dismiss them? Why is self-compassion important when it comes to “doing the work” and growing into the person you want to be? What can you do if you’re an overachiever and feel like you need achievement to feel complete? How do you overcome the fear of being who you want to be so you can get out of your own way?   Have you ever felt a fear so strong that it nearly paralyzed you or left you trembling? Maybe the event was a real-life trauma, like being mugged. Or maybe it was something more subtle but equally as debilitating - like walking into an interview for your dream job and feeling all those eyes on you, sizing up who they can't wait to reject. All of these events can have long lasting effects on who you are and who you want to become. But you have to be willing to identify them, work through the effects they’ve had, and get out of your own way to be comfortable expressing who you really are.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode The Holistic Psychologist Instagram account How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self by Dr. Nicole LaPera Dr. Nicole LaPera’s website   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
May 10, 2021
Dr. Carole Robin | How to Build World Class Connections and Lead With Vulnerability
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In today’s episode, we cover building stronger connections with Dr. Carole Robin. Carole Robin, Ph.D. was the Dorothy J. King Lecturer in Leadership at Stanford's Graduate School of Business where she helped to further develop the Interpersonal Dynamics Course, and is now the author of the best selling book, Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues.   Technology and the pandemic have changed the landscape of human connection, but how bad is it, what simple tips can you use to improve your ability to connect, and what is the correct way to show vulnerability in the workplace?   What to Listen For   The damage technology is having on our ability to connect - 0:00    What experience do we all need as humans and what can you do to give people that experience? Why are we losing close connections in our lives and what can we do about it? How does social media trap you into a state where you can’t connect with the people around you and what can you do about it? What simple tip can you use to deepen any connection?     Why you need to get comfortable talking about feelings - 9:56    Why is it detrimental to your relationships to avoid talking about your emotions and feelings? What are the benefits of expressing your feelings and how does it help strengthen your relationships? Why are “why” questions so challenging when it comes to connecting with someone, and what questions should you ask instead? What type of questions can lead to the other person feeling judged? What is the signature trait of a successful relationship?     What does a successful relationship look like? - 31:38   What are the characteristics of a successful relationship and what can you do to cultivate them in your relationships? How has the pandemic affected the way we interact with coworkers and build relationships? What 90 second exercise can you implement to strengthen your personal and professional relationships over Zoom? How can you be vulnerable without letting your disclosure be used against you? What can women do to become better leaders while staying true to themselves?   Technology is changing the landscape of human connection and it's hard to know what will happen next. What you can do now, however, is learn to be vulnerable so that those around you also feel comfortable being open with one another. Without this openness we'll always have a lack of trust which does not bode well for our society at large where social connections are essential.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues by Dr. Carole Robin   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
May 03, 2021
Toolbox | Small Talk Hacks to Boost Your Sales, Grow Your Network and Never Feel Awkward Again
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In today’s episode, we cover small talk with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.    Getting on the question train is one of the most common mistakes people make in conversations without realizing it, but what is it, why does it kill conversations, and how do you avoid getting on it?   What to Listen For   The pitfalls that lead to one-sided conversations - 0:00    What is the conversation formula you can use to create engaging conversations in any situation? What is the conversation train and why do you want to avoid it when you’re talking to someone? Why are people more likely to disclose personal information to strangers than to close friends?     The conversation formula - 13:20    What is the best way to start a conversation with someone you don’t know? What kind of questions should you avoid when making small talk? What is the most important part of a conversation after asking the initial question and why do we often trip up over it?     What is the question train and how do you avoid it? - 27:20   Why does an endless series of questions deter people from wanting to talk to you? What easy-to-remember visual can you keep in mind when making engaging small talk? What are the 3 A’s of value we should be giving to people when we’re speaking to them? What is emotional contagion and why is it important to understand when leading a conversation?   Asking questions is a critical part of engaging conversations. But asking too many questions can kill a conversation. A conversation should be a balance between asking questions, listening, and relating. That means after you ask a question, you should be listening to what the other person says, and then responding with a statement that shows you were listening and that you understand what the other person was trying to say. You ask a question, they share, you share, then you can ask another question or preferably, they ask the next question.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Toolbox: Biggest Myth With Small Talk & 3 Mistakes to Avoid How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie Self-Disclosure: An Experimental Analysis of the Transparent Self   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Apr 26, 2021
Dr. Caroline Leaf | The Secret to Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess & 5 Steps to Healing Grief
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In today’s episode, we cover the idea of mental mess with Dr. Caroline Leaf. Caroline has spent the last 30 years researching the nature of mental health and has helped hundreds of thousands of people learn how to use their mind to detox and grow their brain to succeed in every area of their lives including school, university, and the workplace.   We are all dealing with mental messes in varying degrees, but what is a mental mess, how does your mental mess impact your ability to find happiness and success, and what process can you start using today to clean up your mental mess?   What to Listen For   What is a mental mess and why is it important to manage? - 0:00    What is neuroplasticity and how can you take advantage of it on a daily basis to improve the quality of your life? What is the difference between the brain and the mind and why do we put so much attention on one at the detriment to the other? What can you do to replace your negative thoughts & beliefs with positive, empowering thoughts & beliefs?     What’s wrong with the way we treat mental health? - 16:27    How is our current perception of mental health treatment preventing us from making significant progress in our overall mental health and happiness? How has the media negatively impacted our mental health and the way we process our mental messes? How does your mental health influence the length of your lifespan and what can you do to live a longer, healthier life?     What is the neurocycle and how can it improve our lives? - 37:15   What are the 5 steps of the neurocycle and how can you use it to heal grief? Why is it important to develop a self-awareness of your mental state? How do you prepare yourself for those moments when you know you will feel anxiety or fear so they don’t stop you from achieving success?   Mental health is an important part of everyone’s existence. In the same way we should take regular steps to maintain and improve our physical health, we must do the same for our mental health. If we don’t, then a mental mess builds up over time. This mental mess clouds our thinking, influences our beliefs in a negative manner, and slowly eats away at relationships. Using the neurocycle described by Dr. Caroline Leaf, you can start cleaning up your mental mess and improve your quality of life today.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Dr. Caroline Leaf’s website Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess by Dr. Caroline Leaf CLEANING UP THE MENTAL MESS hosted by Dr. Caroline Leaf Neurocycle App   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Apr 19, 2021
Toolbox: Biggest Myth With Small Talk & 3 Mistakes to Avoid
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In today’s episode, we cover the science of small talk with AJ and Johnny.    Small talk can feel like a chore these days, but why is it important that we make small talk with people throughout the day, how do we make it fun and engaging, and why is it detrimental to our relationships and community to avoid or ignore small talk?   What to Listen For   The science of small talk and acknowledging others - 0:00    What are the benefits to making small talk and why does avoiding small talk erode the strength of relationships and community? Why do people go to extreme lengths to have their existence acknowledged? Why is it detrimental to think of small talk as useless or a waste of time?     Why is small talk stopping you from being successful - 8:22    Why do people think small talk is boring and how is that mindset hindering them? In what way does small talk satisfy one of our most basic needs as humans? How can we use small talk as a jumping off point for engaging conversations? What pitfall do we need to avoid when making small talk?     Why is it so important for us to make small talk - 16:00   Does small talk require you to be positive and bubbly? What is small talk really about? What can you do to be more likeable? What negative signals are you conveying when you ignore the attempts others make at small talk? What one word can you add to make your small talk more fun and conversational?   Small talk is one of our more important tools in initiating engaging conversations. You can make it fun, but at times it can be awkward. That discomfort at the thought of awkward small talk leads people to opt out altogether in the age of smartphone proliferation. It feels much safer to stare at your phone than strike up a conversation with someone you don’t know. Unfortunately, this is leading to a lack of any small talk, even with friends and family. Over time, this leads to a total disconnect within communities as neighbors don’t talk to each other, friends sit on their phones when they’re out to dinner, and families resort to texting rather than calling each other.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Is Efficiency Overrated?: Minimal Social Interactions Lead to Belonging and Positive Affect   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Apr 12, 2021
Brad Lomenick | 3 Steps to Effective Leadership & Getting the Feedback You Need to Succeed
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In today’s episode, we cover leadership with Brad Lomenick. Brad is a leadership consultant, speaker, founder of BLINC, and author of The Catalyst Leader and H3 Leadership. He writes about leadership, the next generation, creativity, innovation, social media, teamwork, and personal growth.    Effective leadership is built on a few powerful traits anyone can learn, but what are they, what is the difference between an effective leader and an ineffective one, and what can you do to be an effective leader without being in a leadership position?   What to Listen For   Brad’s Journey & Strategies for Conquering Burnout - 3:34    What are the different levels of burnout and what can you do if you’re feeling burnt out? What can you do as a leader to encourage your team to hold you accountable for your faults and blindspots?     The Biggest Leadership Myths & How to Assume Leadership - 9:59    What are the biggest myths about leadership? What are the two types of people who want to be leaders and why is one not cut out for the role? What can you do to be a leader if you are regularly jumping from one company to another? What can you do to be proactive about being a leader rather than waiting to be recognized as one?     Ineffective vs Effective Leadership - 21:08   How does social media identify and highlight the ineffective leaders, placing poor examples of leadership in front of people around the world? How can a leader exemplify the hustle mentality and powerful humility? How do you build trust with your team when you are brand new and your team doesn’t know you?   It seems as if the loudest “leaders” get the most attention, but getting someone’s attention or drawing an audience do not make someone a leader. The most effective leaders can lead from a place of trust and humility. They get buy-in from those around them by getting to know them and building a genuine relationship. If you want to be an effective leader, you must be willing to listen to the people around you and open up to them so they can connect with you.    A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Brad Lomenick’s website H3 Leadership by Brad Lomenick   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Apr 05, 2021
Matthew Pollard | The Networking Mindset for Success and Why Introverts Have the Edge
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In today’s episode, we cover networking as an introvert with Matthew Pollard. Matthew is an internationally-recognized consultant, speaker, author, serial entrepreneur with five multi-million dollar business success stories under his belt, and the author of his newest book The Introvert’s Edge to Networking.   Networking when you’re an introvert can feel like a daunting task, so how do successful introverts do it, what advantages do introverts have when it comes to networking, and what can you do to be unforgettable?   What to Listen For   Why do introverts make the best networkers? - 0:00    What is the failing networking strategy many introverts adopt? Who are some of the more famous introverts and what can you learn from them? What’s the difference between extroverts and introverts when it comes to networking?     How do you come up with a plan for networking? - 9:20    What is the best way to get other people interested in what you have to say or sell? What is a unified message and why do you need one to grow your network effectively? How important is it to be passionate when networking and what can you do to find the passion in what you do? What should you lead with when meeting new people to make sure they don’t forget you as quickly as they met you? What mindset will set you up for failure in a networking environment and what mindset should you adopt instead?   How do you excel at networking online? - 36:18 Why is it more important to have a clear message when networking online than it is offline? What are the challenges you face when networking online and what strategies can you use to overcome them? What mistaken strategy do introverts tend to use when networking online and how does it lead to burnout and failure?   Networking is typically associated with extroverts but that doesn’t mean introverts can’t be fantastic at it. Networking is all about building connections with people, and since introverts tend to seek deeper connections than extroverts, introverts have an inherent advantage they can leverage. The key for introverts when it comes to networking is to prepare - find out who will be at a networking event and decide who you want to meet. Do some research into what they do and what you might have in common so you can show genuine interest when you meet them instead of struggling through the initial introduction and conversation.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Matthew Pollard’s website The Introvert’s Edge to Networking by Matthew Pollard   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Apr 01, 2021
Spark Your Creativity and Innovate Today with Michael Hendrix & Panos Panay
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In today’s episode, we cover the power of music and listening with Panos A. Panay and R. Michael Hendrix. Panay is a Cypress-born entrepreneur and educator, Hendrix is an American graphic designer and entrepreneur, and both are the authors of Two Beats Ahead: What Musical Minds Teach Us About Innovation, featuring interviews with some of the top creative geniuses of our time.   Some of the best music humans create comes from collaborative work between artists, but why is collaboration so important, what should you avoid when collaborating with others on any project, and why is it important to focus on the process of creating something just as much as the end product?    What to Listen For   The Power of Listening - 0:00    What is the difference between hearing music and listening to it? Why is the silence between notes more important than the notes themselves? What creative acts do design and music have in common? What are you NOT doing if you feel like you run out of things to talk about in a conversation?     The Power of Collaboration - 16:45    What great approaches to collaboration can you use in your life and business to come up with new ideas? Why are trust and respect so important when pursuing collaborative opportunities with individuals and groups? What is missing from project based learning that can lead to a total failure for the teams working on the projects? What can you do if you find yourself on a team with people you don’t like or get along with? What conversation are professional organizations and businesses not having and why is it killing the effectiveness of project teams?     Process Focused vs Outcome Focused - 29:38   Why is it more important to focus on the process of creating something rather than just the end result? How do you work with individuals who refuse to compromise when working on collaborative projects? What mistake do many companies make when trying to find collaboration opportunities? How do you bring out the individuality in your team members to get the best of the collaboration?   Humans have likely been creating music for as long as we have been around. And the process of making music can teach us about the values that define humanity. The value of not just the notes, but the silence between them - both contribute to the sound of the music we love and hate. Similarly, it’s important for humans to have periods of rest in between periods of effort because in those periods of rest and boredom are when we come up with some of our best ideas. Those periods of rest between intense workouts are when our bodies get stronger. We cannot live fulfilling lives by simply resting all the time nor can we by working all the time. Balance is important in all things.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Two Beats Ahead: What Musical Minds Teach Us About Innovation Michael Hendrix’s website Panos A. Panay on Twitter Sonic Bids   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mar 29, 2021
Dr. Janina Scarlet | Unlock Superhero Confidence & Slay Your Inner Dragons
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In today’s episode, we cover superhero therapy with Dr. Janina Scarlet. Dr. Janina Scarlet is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, author, TEDx speaker, and a full-time geek who immigrated to the United States at the age of 12 with her family and later, inspired by the X-Men, developed Superhero Therapy to help patients with anxiety, depression, and PTSD.    Effective therapy can come in many forms but superhero therapy is certainly one of the more interesting approaches we’ve come across - but what is superhero therapy, what can we learn from the heroes and adventures which inspire us, and how can you build an environment conducive to the life you want to lead?   What to Listen For   Dr. Janina Scarlet’s Origin Story and Using Stories to Heal - 0:00    How did Dr. Janina Scarlet get started using superhero stories to help patients with the mental health difficulties they’re facing? How can we reframe challenges we face using stories and characters in order to overcome them? How can you use fiction to gain insight into the challenges you face? What is a stress hormone and how does one in particular make it difficult for us to get out of bed in the morning?     Building a Life that Supports Your Heroic Journey - 17:30    Why is it important to surround yourself with people who support you on your recovery journey? How can we use superhero stories to get our friends and family excited about helping us while also opening up about the challenges they’re facing? How do you construct an environment conducive to the life you want to lead and the person you want to become? How can you use fictional characters like superheroes to identify your core values in order to guide your decisions to build the life you want?     What can we learn from our Heroes? - 31:28   What are the benefits to reading fictional stories and what can we all learn from the heroes of said stories? Is it more important to fake confidence until your confident or to be comfortable with your flaws and insecurities? What is Dark Agents about and what can it teach us about PTSD? What are the biggest misconceptions surrounding PTSD? How can you recognize when you or someone you know is struggling with PTSD and what can you do to seek help or get help? Can we experience trauma in life without realizing it until years later?    The idea of finding a therapist and going to therapy can feel intimidating even though mental health is becoming less of a taboo subject. But therapy can come in many different forms and some of those forms can feel much more approachable and relatable. Superhero therapy is one because many of us grew up reading comic books and many more got hooked on the superhero movie craze that erupted two decades ago. It’s easy to be inspired by individuals who perform heroic acts yet still experience many of the same insecurities and flaws we normal people go through daily. As a result, the heroes and their stories have an incredible amount they can teach us if we’re willing to pay attention.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Dr. Janina Scarlet’s Website Superhero Therapy Podcast Harry Potter Therapy Podcast   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mar 22, 2021
Tal Ben-Shahar | The Secret to Being Happy in the Modern World & 3 Tips to Conquer Screen Addiction
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In today’s episode, we cover happiness and positive psychology with Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar. Tal Ben-Shahar taught two of the largest classes in Harvard University’s history, Positive Psychology and The Psychology of Leadership, and now consults and lectures around the world to executives in multinational corporations, the general public, and at-risk populations.   Finding happiness in the chaos of life has been a struggle for many in recent years, but what can be done about it, what role do technology and social media play, and how do we help our children navigate the increasing complexity of this world?   What to Listen For   Introduction Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar and Happiness - 1:20    What two groups of people don’t experience painful emotions and why would you not want to be in either group? What are the biggest myths surrounding happiness and positive psychology? What can 2020 teach us about happiness? What are the fundamentals of happiness and what makes them fundamental? When is distraction a positive thing to have in our lives and when should we avoid it?     Building Healthy Habits Around Media Consumption - 10:50    What healthy habits can you develop around media consumption so you don’t drive your mental health into the ground? What are sanity islands and how can you use them to limit screen time and promote moderation? What are the benefits of social media use? What is the biggest contributor to depression and suicide in teenagers and what can we do about it? What are the 3 strategies you can use as a parent to promote healthy mental and emotional growth for your kids in the world of smartphones and social media?   The Impact of Tech/Media Consumption on Our Daily Lives - 27:00 Why is it important to be comfortable with boredom and why do we need boredom to come up with our best ideas? How does our addiction to stimulation impact our relationships and what can we do to prevent our relationships from collapsing as a result? How do we overcome the paradox of choice so we can simply move forward with a choice rather than getting stuck trying to choose something? When is it detrimental to our happiness and well-being to have unrealistic expectations and how can you determine when it is ok to have high expectations? What is the most powerful gift we can give to people we care about who are suffering? What is toxic positivity and is it a legitimate concern in society?   With mental health issues on the rise in modern society, it seems like happiness is taking a back seat to productivity and profit. Younger generations are experiencing spikes in depression and suicide as a direct result of mass adoption of smartphones and social media. The news is constantly bombarding us with fear and tragic events around the world.    What can we do? For one, we can start by limiting our exposure to all the screens in our daily lives. The devices we own and the software on them are all engineered to keep us using them as long as possible. If you want to feel happier, replace screen time with face time, and not the kind of face time that requires a device. Real in-person face time. The same goes for your kids. Children aren’t going to learn social skills by sitting in front of a screen all day.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar’s website Happiness Studies Academy   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mar 15, 2021
Tasha Eurich | The Secret to Self Awareness & 3 Strategies to Conquer Your Blindspots
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In today’s episode, we cover self-awareness with Dr. Tasha Eurich. Tasha is an organizational psychologist, executive coach, researcher, and New York Times best-selling author of Insight and Bankable Leadership.   Self-awareness is crucial when it comes to understanding ourselves and the people around us, but how do you go about developing it, what are the biggest misconceptions about it, and what can you do to overcome the blind spots in your self-awareness?   What to Listen For   What is self-awareness? - 2:50    What are the different types of self-knowledge that make up self-awareness? What is the difference between internal and external self-knowledge and why do you need both? How does the prevalence of smartphones negatively affect our ability to develop our self-awareness? How many people are actually self-aware? How do people with self-awareness use social media compared to those without self-awareness? Why are Zoom meetings so draining compared to normal meetings?     Popular Misconceptions Around Self-awareness - 19:55    What is the biggest myth surrounding introspection and self-awareness? What is the most dangerous question we can ask ourselves when trying to develop self-awareness and what question should we ask ourselves instead? What kind of journaling should you avoid if you are developing your self-awareness? How do you journal in a way that is conducive to self-awareness?   The 3 Different Types of Blind Spots in Self-awareness - 37:50 What are the 3 different types of blind spots we have and how can we overcome them? Why is it detrimental to your growth if you don’t have a solid feedback loop in your life? What strategies can you use with your coworkers, friends, and family to get the feedback you need to grow and succeed? What are the 3 building blocks of a self-aware team and why is one more important than the others?   What can you do to better deal with a lack of self-awareness around you?     To grow and develop as a person, you must be willing to acknowledge faults and weaknesses in yourself so you can work on improving them, or at least know how to compensate for them. You must be willing to accept that the people you interact with can have legitimate criticisms you can learn from because you can’t see your own blindspots until they are pointed out. Developing your self-awareness depends on both because you must not only work to understand yourself but also how your “self” exists in relation to others around you.    A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Tasha Eurich’s website The Future Ready Leader Course by Tasha Eurich American Icon: Alan Mulally and the Fight to Save Ford Motor Company   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mar 08, 2021
Toolbox: The Cheat Code to Building Deep Relationships and Being Unforgettable
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In today’s episode, we cover emotional bids with AJ and Johnny.   Understanding emotional bids is the cheat code to building great relationships, but what are they, how do you recognize them, and why does ignoring them lead to the end of relationships?   What to Listen For   Why are Emotional Bids Important - 2:25    Why is it so important to your relationships to be able to recognize them?  How can ignoring your partner’s emotional bids lead to the end of your relationship? Why is it important to actively listen for emotional bids when you’re talking to someone?     What is an Emotional Bid - 16:38    What is an emotional bid and how do you recognize when someone is trying to get you to connect? Why is it more important to pay attention to the emotions behind the words than the words themselves? How do you make someone want to text you back? What can you do to be unforgettable after one conversation with someone?   Common Emotional Bids and the 3 Ways to Respond -  27:30 What is a bid for attention and how should you respond to it? What is a bid for emotional support and how should you respond to it? What does it mean to turn toward an emotional bid and how can turning away from them or against them cause your relationships to crumble? What are the 3 ways we can respond to emotional bids and which one is guaranteed to make your relationship fail?   How to Use Emotional Bids to Strengthen Relationships - 48:02 What simple exercise can you use to become aware of emotional bids from the people you interact with on a daily basis? How can a lack of awareness of emotional bids lead to divorce and what can you do to be more aware of them in your partner?   Emotional bids are our way of expressing vulnerability without feeling like we’re taking a big risk, so if we can recognize the emotional bids in others, acknowledge them, and respond appropriately by turning toward them, we can make the people we care about feel more comfortable being more vulnerable and connecting with us.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship (AoC Episode 719) Turning Toward Emotion (AoC Episode 720) The Love Lab - Gottman Institute Art of Charm Emotional Bids Cheat Sheet X-Factor Accelerator Mentorship Core Confidence Coaching Program   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mar 01, 2021
Mira Kirshenbaum | The Biggest Myth About Arguments & How to Deal With Finances In A Relationship
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In today’s episode, we cover relationships and conflict resolution with Mira Kirshenbaum. Mira is the author of eleven books, the co-founder and clinical director of The Chestnut Hill Institute in Boston, an internationally recognized center for research and psychotherapy for couples, families and individuals, and has been a workshop leader and trainer for medical professionals at Harvard Medical School and other institutions.   Despite what Hollywood tells us, relationships are not easy and are not always pleasant, so why do couples fight, how do we resolve conflicts in a way that both partners can be satisfied with the outcome, and how do we reframe love in the 21st century to be a reasonable goal we can work toward?   What to Listen For   Why Do Couples Fight - 1:57    Why do couples fight and what do you need to stop doing to prevent future fights? Why do we imitate the power moves of our parents in our own relationships? What does it mean to feel disempowered in a relationship? How do people use distance to hurt their significant other and what can we do to overcome that?     The 8 Core Experiences of Love - 11:00 (starts with AJ saying, “When we think about fights…”)   What should you do everyday to build and maintain healthy relationships with the people you care about? What does it mean to be fair in a relationship? What question should you ask to find out how best to support your significant other when you’re not sure what to do? What does it mean to show respect for your significant other? Is passion a one time thing in a relationship, or is it cyclical?   Conflict Resolution in Relationships - 28:30 (starts with AJ saying, “Now we had Annie Duke on our show…”) How can you use quantification to solve arguments in your relationships? What is the 1-2-3 method and how can you use it to stop arguments from blowing up? What questions can you ask your partner to better understand their concerns about an issue you two are facing? What are the 2 magic questions you should always be ready to ask when you and your partner are facing an issue? What can you do to handle the financial side of a relationship so it doesn’t ruin a great partnership? What do power moves look like that revolve around money?   Reframing Love in the 21st Century - 46:00 What is the biggest myth about love in modern times and what can we do to reframe love so it is not based on fairy tales? How much work is necessary for maintaining a successful relationship? What are the 4 kinds of relationships and what can you learn from them so you know what to avoid in the future? What are the most important steps to take and conversations to have before you have children?   Relationships are often portrayed as the happy ending and the beginning of a trouble-free life filled with love and affection. But any healthy relationship is going to take a lot of work and communication - they don’t just happen. People are too different from one another to be able to come to a quick & easy agreement on everything. We all have different beliefs, thoughts, and expectations about love and relationships, and even life. We must be willing to learn about each other and if you want a relationship to last, both of you must put in the work to maintain it.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Mira Kirshenbaum on Facebook Mira Kirshenbaum on Twitter Mira Kirshenbaum’s books on Amazon Why Couples Fight by Mira Kirshenbaum Annie Duke | The Secret Ingredient to Making the RIGHT Decision When It Really Matters   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Feb 22, 2021
Amy Chan | The Secret Ingredients to a Healthy Relationship & Surviving a Breakup
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In today’s episode, we cover overcoming breakups with Amy Chan. Amy has been writing about relationships, dating, and love for over a decade, is the Editor-in-Chief of Heart Hackers Club, and is the author of Breakup Bootcamp – The Science of Rewiring Your Heart.   The end of a relationship can be a traumatic experience for many but it doesn’t have to break you - so what can you do to bounce back as an even better version of yourself, how can you learn from the relationship, and what resources can you rely on to help you move on?    What to Listen For   How Amy Chan Became a Relationship Expert - 0:21       Breakup Bounce Back and Attachment Theory - 2:19   What can you do to focus on yourself and heal after a breakup rather than blame the ex and other external factors? What is Attachment Theory and how does it teach us to view love as we grow up? What are the 3 main types of attachment that we learn during our childhood and how do they influence our view of love in adulthood? Once you know what your style of attachment is, what can you do to prevent yourself from sabotaging future relationships? How do you set healthy boundaries with friends and family after a breakup if they’re constantly trying to give you advice and project their own issues on you?   Learning From the Past for Future Relationships - 21:00 What exercises can you use to recognize red flags with new potential partners if you have a tendency to jump from one relationship to another? How do you identify the baggage that YOU bring into relationships so you don’t let it destroy your relationships? What journaling prompts can you use to heal after a breakup? Why is breaking up from a relationship similar to breaking an addiction and what can you do to make it as brief and painless as possible? Why are rituals important to recovering normalcy after a breakup and what rituals can you start using today? How can we make the right choice when we are overwhelmed by dating options in front of us so we don’t waste our time? What are the 3 secret ingredients in a healthy relationship foundation?   What is the Breakup Bootcamp - 44:06 What goes on during Amy Chan’s Breakup Bootcamp? What is limerence and how does it keep us in a vicious cycle of hurt? What is the biggest myth about how men and women handle breakups?    The end of a relationship can feel like losing a loved one because your significant other feels like a part of your identity and your future. Losing that part of you, and feeling like a part of your future is ripped out from under you can be a difficult event to recover from, but there are steps you can take to minimize the suffering and move forward as a better stronger version of yourself.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Amy Chan on Twitter Breakup Bootcamp Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart by Amy Chan   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Feb 15, 2021
Therese Huston | How to Manage Criticism Effectively & Make Feedback Your Superpower
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In today’s episode, we cover effective feedback with Therese Huston. Therese founded the Center for Excellence in Teaching and Learning at Seattle University, has given more than 225 keynotes, talks, and workshops, and is the author of Let’s Talk: Make Effective Feedback Your Superpower.   Giving great feedback is not easy and poorly worded feedback can put anyone on the defensive, so what does effective feedback look like, what can you do to practice giving great feedback, and why is it important to get better at giving feedback?   What to Listen For   Therese Huston’s Beginning - 0:00   What sparked Therese’s interest in researching the topic of effective feedback?     The 3 Different Types of Feedback - 1:49   What are the 3 different types of feedback and how do you put all 3 together to give the best feedback? How do you give genuine appreciation and use it to transition into coaching feedback? What is coaching and how is it different from pointing out what someone is doing wrong? What does it mean to separate the person from the problem when giving feedback and why is it important if you don’t want the person to get defensive?  Why does the feedback sandwich receive so much criticism and what is the correct way to use the technique?     Cultivating a Growth Mindset Receptive to Feedback - 17:48   What can you do to cultivate a growth mindset in your managers so they can work with their employees rather than against them? Why do you need to state your intentions as a manager when giving feedback?  What is the difference between a “me strength” and a “we strength” and why can a deficiency in one lead to a team’s failure?   How to be a Better Leader and Team Member - 31:55 What are the different types of listening and why is it crucial to use one instead of the other?  What is critical listening and why can critical listening in the wrong situation lead to a breakdown in communication? What can you do as a manager to ask better questions and thus get better results? What can you do to bring out the potential in younger employees? How do you move past unconscious bias in the workplace? What challenges does working remotely introduce into the process of giving effective feedback and what can you do to overcome them?   Giving feedback can feel like a delicate balance between being too harsh and being too nice. On one hand, if we’re afraid to hurt their feelings, we might sugarcoat the issues and fail to impress upon them just how important it is that they improve. On the other hand, we want to be clear with people about what we want them to work on and why it’s important they improve, but it can be easy to overwhelm them with what they’re doing wrong and turn them against us.    A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Therese Huston’s website Let’s Talk: Make Effective Feedback Your Superpower by Therese Huston Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Feb 08, 2021
Steven Kotler | The Secret to Flow State & 6 Steps to Recovering from Burnout
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In today’s episode, we cover flow state with Steven Kotler. Steven is the founder and executive director of the Flow Research Collective, and is the author of nine international bestsellers including The Rise of Superman and Stealing Fire, and has a new book, The Art of Impossible - A Peak Performance Primer, coming out this month.   Flow state is an amazing aspect of the human experience that can boost your productivity to untold levels, but why is it also important to our happiness and strength as a community, how do you tap into it in your daily life, and what is the biggest myth surrounding flow state?    What to Listen For   Steven Kotler’s Introduction - 0:00 What is Flow State and How Do You Get Into It - 10:40   What is flow state and how do you get into it? What is flow state and why is it important for our satisfaction and community strength? What are the 6 core characteristics of flow state? Why does time seem to slow down when in flow state? Are we doing damage to our children by not pushing them to play outside and experience the flow state early on? What happens biologically when we find ourselves in flow state? What are flow triggers and how can we use them to get into flow when we most need it? What is the first rule of improv and why is it integral to getting into flow state in a conversation?     The Myth About Flow State - 31:45   What is the biggest myth around flow state?     Taking Care of Your Mind When You’re Pushing Yourself - 33:46   What can you do if you are worried about burn out? How are anxiety and flow state connected, and what can you do to manage your anxiety so it doesn’t kill your flow state? Why do affirmations not work while gratitude does work? What is the difference between active recovery and passive recovery and why does one pale in comparison to the other?   Entering into flow state used to be something associated with artists and athletes, but science has shown it is accessible to anyone with the ability to focus. Being in a flow state is a result of focusing on a task to the point where you’re not trying to think - all of your thoughts and actions simply flow. But tapping into your flow state, as with anything, requires consistent practice with whatever it is you are doing, and a willingness to focus without distraction.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Steven Kotler’s website The Art of Impossible: A Peak Performance Primer by Steven Kotler Stealing Fire by Steven Kotler Passion Recipe   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Feb 01, 2021
Doug Bopst | The Obvious Secret to Conquering Addiction & 3 Steps to Building a Better Life
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In today’s episode, we cover how to conquer addiction with Doug Bopst. Doug is an award-winning personal trainer, author, speaker, and business owner, who turned his life around from felon and drug addict to help countless individuals build the confidence and strength to succeed in life.    Substance abuse and addiction goes beyond simply using drugs to experience a temporary high, so what can you do to identify the cause of an addiction, how can you rebuild your life after addiction, and why is physical exercise so important in the recovery process?   What to Listen For   Doug Bopst’s Story - 0:00   What made Doug turn his life around after being convicted of a felony? How did Doug Bopst’s childhood lead to addiction and crime?      Improving Your Life After Addiction - 8:25 (Starts with Johnny saying, “If that energy isn’t channeled…”)   What can you do to remove toxic relationships from your life? How do you leave one social circle to build a new one? What do you look for if you want to make new friends that won’t lead you down a path dangerous to your future?     Conquering Addiction - 21:50 (Starts with AJ saying, “What I want to talk about is…”)   How do you break an addiction without simply ending it and replacing it with another as many do? Why is physical exercise so important when it comes to maintaining a healthy body and mind in addiction recovery? What can you do to build will power so you can build a healthier lifestyle to replace your addiction?   Building Relationships After Addiction - 31:55 (Starts with AJ saying, “Absolutely, that deep why is such an important part…”) What can you do to repair the bridges you burned while you were battling addiction? What happened to the cellmate who inspired Doug Bopst to turn his life around and become the best version of himself?   The source of addiction is not simply wanting a high, but filling a void that can exist in all of us due to pain, trauma, loss, a lack of love, etc. What this means for those suffering from addiction is that the pain is still there even if you stop abusing the substance in question. Addicts use in order to fill that void, so to properly recover, you must find a healthy way of slowly filling the emptiness with a love for yourself. You must become the source of your own fulfillment and happiness.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Doug Bopst website The Adversity Advantage Podcast - hosted by Doug Bopst From Felony to Fitness to Free: Everybody deserves a second chance AoC Podcast - BJ Fogg | The Biggest Myth About Habit Formation   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Jan 25, 2021
Toolbox | Why Love Isn't Enough & 4 Skills You Need for a Healthy Relationship
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In today’s episode, we cover how to keep the romance in your life fresh. Unfortunately, many of us believe relationship myths as truth which can set us up for failure, so what are the biggest relationship myths, what else do you need besides love to make a relationship work, and what skills can you start working on today to improve your relationships?   What to Listen For   The Biggest Relationship Myths - 5:50   What are the biggest myths surrounding relationships and why do we believe them? Why do some people fall in love with falling in love more than they fall in love with actual people? How are dating apps making it more difficult for you to find a healthy relationship and what should you do to avoid falling into the swipe life trap? What are the 2 human traits that work against us when it comes to dating apps and how do we overcome them?     The Tools for Strengthening Relationships - 15:45   What are emotional bids and how can you use them to deepen your relationships? What is the DEEP framework and how can you use it to understand the differences between you and your partner? What question can you and your partner ask each other to develop actionable goals to be more supportive of one another?  What 4 skills can you start working on today to keep your relationship fresh? What simple exercise can you implement every day or week to improve communication in your relationships? What are the 3 levels of listening and how can your knowledge of them help you strengthen relationships?    A long-lasting happy relationship requires more than just love. If you don’t have the skills to navigate all of the issues and challenges that inevitably arise from two people spending time together, love won’t simply solve all of your problems. Fortunately, the skills necessary to forge healthy relationships can be taught and learned, but you must be willing to grow.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship (Episode 719) Turning Toward Emotion (Episode 720) THIS IS WATER! A speech by David Foster Wallace   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Jan 18, 2021
BJ Fogg | Biggest Myth About Habits & 2 Strategies to Decreasing Screentime
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In today’s episode, we cover the breaking and creation of habits with BJ Fogg. BJ founded the Behavior Design Lab at Stanford University and teaches industry innovators how human behavior works.   There are plenty of misconceptions floating around the internet surrounding making and breaking habits, so what is the biggest one, what does the science actually say about habit formation, and what can you start doing today to break those bad habits you’re feeling stuck with?   What to Listen For What is Behavior Design and how can you use it to become the best version of yourself? What is the Tiny Habits method and how can we implement it now to start creating long lasting habits? Why is it important to start implementing a new habit by making it as easy as possible? What is the biggest myth about habit formation? Why can habit trackers be detrimental to healthy habit development? What is the secret to promoting positive behavioral changes in your kids? What is the difference between habit and compliance and why is one detrimental in the long run? Why are positive emotions so significant in the creation of new habits and how can we use that knowledge to build better habits faster? What are the 3 phases to getting rid of unwanted habits? What 2 strategies can you use to reduce your weekly screentime and be more present in social situations?   Habit formation is not as simple as just doing something for a specific number of days. Many of us know there are things we only had to try once or twice before we started doing them everyday because it only took one or two times to recognize how good doing those things made us feel. Because we as humans don’t fully incorporate behavioral changes unless we want to, we must recognize and feel the positive impacts a new behavioral change will have in order to solidify it.    A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode BJ Fogg’s website Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world Stanford’s Screentime Genie   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Jan 10, 2021
Joe De Sena | Two Essential Habits to Crush 2021 Like a Spartan
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In today’s episode, we cover mindset and determination with Joe De Sena. Joe is the CEO and founder of Spartan and the Death Race, and the NY Times best selling author of Spartan Up, Spartan Fit, and The Spartan Way. Success is never a straight path nor is it attained with ease, so if you want to increase your chances of success and improve your luck on the way up, what mindset should you adopt, how should you treat your body daily, and what can you learn from others who have come before you? What to Listen For What lessons did Joe De Sena learn from a crime boss as a kid that helped him achieve his success as CEO and founder of Spartan and the Death Race? What can you do to attract and keep amazing mentors who can steer you toward success and away from unnecessary failure? What 7 simple steps can you take everyday to live a long, healthy life? How did Joe De Sena’s career on Wall Street lead into his founding of Spartan races?  What can you do to stay focused on the success of your business during the early stages when you’re not turning a profit? How did Joe De Sena’s 10 Spartan principles come together? What can you do to stay optimistic when it feels like the world is falling apart around you? Challenge and adversity are not just great for building well rounded humans, but for proving to ourselves how badly we want something. Whether it’s achieving peak physical condition, a world class level professional skill set, building a thriving international business, and anything in between, you must apply yourself consistently over a long period of time to get anywhere close to the goal, and even then there are countless factors out of your control that could knock you down and prevent you from reaching the finish line. You must be willing to push through the days when you’re just not feeling it, everyone is doubting you, and life isn’t giving you a break. But even that mindset is not created overnight, so let’s get to work on building it today. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Joe De Sena’s website Joe De Sena on Twitter Spartan Races The Spartan Way by Joe De Sena Spartan Up! by Joe De Sena Spartan Fit! by Joe De Sena Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Jan 04, 2021