TBTL- Too Beautiful to Live

By Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

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Subscribers: 403
Reviews: 6

 Aug 25, 2022

 Mar 24, 2022

 Jan 3, 2021
Hard to describe, but a great daily listen.

 Feb 27, 2019
This is my favorite podcast! It's a daily comfort for me to hear these two guys tell their daily stories.

 Oct 22, 2018
It's like catching up with an old friend...daily.


TBTL (Too Beautiful to Live) is a daily weekday podcast from Luke Burbank and co-host/producer Andrew Walsh. It is about life, current events, popular culture, puttering, serial boat ownership, and Tonight Pants. Hotline: (206) 414-8285.

Episode Date
#3785 Gauche Busters

The most interesting sports story of the weekend took place at a Walleye fishing competition in Ohio. Plus, Andrew’s neighborhood has a new visitor that some folks are concerned about. 

Oct 04, 2022
#3784 Cattica! Cattica!

Andrew adopted a new kitten this weekend, and Luke is already working on a screenplay about it. Plus, a Seattle Seahawk had a very public display of bathroom urgency on Sunday, and a listener goes above and beyond to spread the word about TBTL…to little avail.

Oct 03, 2022
No Point Conversion: Karmic Jiggling

The Mariners are one game away from clinching a place in the postseason for the first time in 21 years, and Luke and Andrew have a LOT to say about it!

Sep 30, 2022
#3783 Oh Allen, You Devil!

Luke and Andrew stumble on a new list of the “Top 100 TV Shows Of All Time” and turn it into a game. Plus, a new book promises to reveal the messy details of Anthony Bordain’s life. But should it?

Sep 30, 2022
#3782 The GIF Of Gab

Luke and Andrew say goodbye to Coolio, who died much, much too young this week, and remember the time he made amends with “Weird Al” Yankovic. They also react to the news that GIFs, apparently, are now “cringe.”

Sep 29, 2022
#3781 What About The Voice Of Gary Lee?

NASA did something awesome, a chess player is accused of using a sex toy to cheat, and Andrew admits to some embarrassing behavior during the rock shows he recently attended. 

Sep 28, 2022
#3780 Orthancs For Asking

Luke and Andrew finally have a serious talk about which apple varieties they prefer. They also dig into an article that bemoans the apparent lack of “hit” podcasts.

Sep 27, 2022
#3779 Altitudes And Laltitudes

Mysterious (and gross) noises on some American Airlines flights have airline employees (and Luke and Andrew) absolutely baffled. Plus, Andrew is shocked to hear about an altercation from Luke’s past.

Sep 26, 2022
#3778 Tarzan The Barbarian

Luke and Andrew dissect a news anchor’s decision to go rogue on live TV in support of a former colleague. Plus, Andrew found the perfect road trip music on his drive yesterday, but he’s worried what it might say about his relationship.

Sep 23, 2022
#3777 Chekhov's Sneeze

Luke has discovered a new video game that he almost played last night, and Andrew has some bad ideas for bumper stickers in Bend, Oregon. Also, scientists have calculated how many ants live on the earth and it is a LOT.

Sep 22, 2022
#3776 Elevator Man

Andrew joins the show from Bend, Oregon, where he found something very special on the sidewalk this morning. Meanwhile, Luke had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day yesterday, but Andrew’s ready to turn it into a film script. 

Sep 21, 2022
#3775 A Low Growl Of Kujo-ness

Luke and Andrew discuss the amazing story of a man who walked into a Florida swamp this summer and ended up in an absolutely nightmarish scenario involving an alligator. 

Sep 20, 2022
#3774 The Brick Of Ludwig

Andrew finds himself on an email list that he’s not supposed to be a part of and is fascinated by the content. Meanwhile, Luke is more interested in TBTL newsletter content than the neverending coverage of the Queen’s funeral. And a listener calls in with her fascinating story of finding a bag of money.

Sep 19, 2022
#3773 Y’All Of The Wild

Luke continues to embed himself into the Tennessee culture, for better and for worse. Plus, apparently a lot of people got “heightening” surgery during the pandemic and never told anyone?

Sep 16, 2022
#3772 The Fax Of Life

Luke’s making friends with some donkeys in Tennessee, but he’s got an (unrelated) ethical dilemma involving an expensive shirt. He and Andrew also discuss the Patagonia family giving away their entire company for the good of the planet.

Sep 15, 2022
#3771 Aesthetically Terrible Flag Behavior

Luke joins the show from Tennessee after witnessing some true Skyjinx™ during his travels. Plus, Past-Andrew did Future-Andrew a huge favor last night.

Sep 14, 2022
No Point Conversion Week 1: The Old Ball And Text Chain

Luke and Andrew celebrate the Seahawks’ surprising win over Russell Wilson and the Broncos, but first they have some things to hash out regarding their sports-related text chain. 

Sep 13, 2022
#3770 I Like Bike

Andrew discovered something yesterday that some folks might already know about: Bicycles. Plus, a grocery store has decided to retire its “scan and go” concept because customers were “going” without “scanning.”

Sep 13, 2022
#3769 Scraping Off The Barcode On The Scratch Ticket Of Life

Will Seahawks fans boo Russell Wilson when he returns to Seattle tonight? Luke has some theories. He and Andrew also have a lot of thoughts about microphones and microphone placement. Like, a LOT!

Sep 12, 2022
#3768 Stop Or My Squirrel Will Sploot!

Luke and Andrew discuss the death of Queen Elizabeth the only way they know how: By getting every fact about the monarchy and British history wrong. Plus, if you see a splooting squirrel, just leave it alone!

Sep 09, 2022
#3767 My Tea Is In The Basement

Luke and Andrew discuss Jerry Seinfeld’s fashion shoot, the “Nirvana Baby’s” lawsuit, and their ongoing attempts to avoid crying in public places. Plus, Andrew finally speaks out on a viral video that everyone sent him last week.

Sep 08, 2022
#3766 Shootin’ Crete!

Luke has an entire work crew at his house today, pouring a new concrete floor, and he’s trying to dress the part. He and Andrew also bracing themselves for the new football season that begins this week. Oh, and Luke has some questions about the huge bug bite rash on his leg, and Dr. Andrew has some answers.

Sep 07, 2022
#3765 Aggressively Passive

Two veteran baseball broadcasters spent a great deal of time discussing Wordle during a recent ballgame, and Luke and Andrew absolutely love it. 

Sep 06, 2022
#3764 Alpha Mail

Luke and Andrew open up the ol’ (well, actually newish) TBTL P.O.box to find out what the Tens of Listeners have sent in.

Sep 05, 2022
#3763 Les Is More

Luke reports on two incidents of amazing customer service from the same NW tire chain. Plus, people in Canada can’t seem to stop accidentally eating bugs on television. 

Photo by mbtrama on Flickr via Creative Commons license

Sep 02, 2022
#3762 A Casual Death Grip

Luke thinks it's odd that so many people are celebrating the end of Leonardo DiCaprio’s relationship. Meanwhile, Andrew still can’t tell the difference between Leo and Matt Damon for some reason? Plus, France is using robots to nab people with off-the-books pools in their backyards.

Sep 01, 2022
#3761 Ethy Come, Ethy Go

Luke is ready to make some real changes in his life, and Andrew thinks he should start with a Battery Daddy. Plus, a crypto company accidentally sent a woman a million bucks, and now they want it back.

Aug 31, 2022
#3760 The Tolerable Twos

There’s a lot of news coming out of Detroit these days, including the re-opening of a slide that is bruising the heck out of people. HBO’s Hard Knocks is documenting the Detroit Lions’ preseason, leaving Luke and Andrew to try to figure out what the heck their coach is trying to say as he pumps-up his team.

Aug 30, 2022
#3759 Conceited Caveats

Luke spent the past two weeks building scissor trusses, digging concrete trenches and inventing something he’s calling “Cat Camping.” Meanwhile, Andrew has a visitor staying with him for a couple of weeks, and that visitor keeps crawling up his legs while he tries to record TBTL. 

Aug 29, 2022
#3758 Paul Malls

Luke and Andrew reminisce over their experiences with murder mystery parties, escape rooms, and the game of Clue. Plus, listener Susan tests Andrew’s knowledge of St. Paul, MN, as the 2022 TBTL Summer Games come to a close. 

Aug 26, 2022
#3757 It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Quiz

Andrew recalls a time when a trip to a downtown diner changed the course of his life. Maybe. Plus, Bill in Toronto put together a quiz for Luke challenging his knowledge of Mad Magazine movie spoofs.

Aug 25, 2022
#3756 A Low Tolerance For Horseplay

Andrew found a bunch of old Mariners baseball cards from the early ‘90s at a garage sale, and he asks Luke to give him the backstory on some of the players. Plus TBTL’s “Perfect Daddy” has a quiz for Luke to see how well he remembers former TBTL guests.

Aug 24, 2022
#3755 Menu? I Hardly Chew You!

Andrew accidentally orders a pizza from a very unusual source, and now that he knows where it came from, he might be a changed man. He and Luke also test their knowledge of fast food menu items with a flavor-blasted quiz from listener Mike!

Aug 23, 2022
#3754 Et Tu, Dummy?

Luke is wielding a concrete saw this week, so look out! Plus, his garage renovation project leads Andrew to realize he has some structural issues of his own. And the TBTL Summer Games continue with a quiz that seriously challenges Andrew’s knowledge of Latin phrases. 

Aug 22, 2022
#3753 A Come-to-Desus Moment

Luke and Andrew consider their own future now that podcasting’s *other* famous duo has broken up. They also find out how much Luke knows about America’s ballparks as the TBTL Summer Games continue!

Aug 19, 2022
#3752 Sliding Into Your DSMs

Therapist and TBTL Friendo Kirk Honda returns to the show for Day 4 of the TBTL Summer Games, in which we finally find out if Luke is ready to “open the doors of perception and get his Lizard King on.”

Aug 18, 2022
#3751 All Kirk And No Play

Family therapist and TBTL Ten Dr. Kirk Honda joins the show to quiz Luke and Andrew and get a sense of their mental health. And Luke reminisces about the time he stormed out of couples therapy to prove a point. (Unfortunately, it was the wrong point.) 

Aug 17, 2022
#3750 Raising Its Dougly Head

Andrew stumbles on a historic artifact that finally answers the question, “Do computers like gum?” Meanwhile, Luke has “a lot to say about Barry Corbin.” Then the 2022 TBTL Summer Games continue with a handcrafted quiz challenging Luke and Andrew’s spelling skills.

Aug 16, 2022
#3749 Never Settle For Catan

The TBTL Summer Games begin with a Summer Sound Quiz from Reverend Chris! Can Luke and Andrew identify a popular, trademarked brand using only their ears? There’s only one way to find out! (It’s by listening to this episode. That’s the only way.)

Aug 15, 2022
#3748 Cigarette Aficionado

Luke drops by the studios of Walsh, Walsh, and Doormat for a rare in-person installment of What’s In The Box, where he and Andrew open letters and packages sent to the TBTL PO Box.

Aug 12, 2022
#3747 Where Everybody Lowe’s Your Name

Luke had his first run-in with Stinking Willy yesterday, and he learned a few lessons. Meanwhile, Andrew picks a fight with the internet’s favorite child. And Luke has a correction to make…but not an apology!

Aug 11, 2022
#3746 Exactly One Hour(ish)

Luke and Andrew debate the advantages and disadvantages of duvets versus bedspreads, then they move on to discuss yesterday’s historic Mariner’s game. Plus, a listener’s adventures at Lowe’s teaches us all a valuable lesson. It’s just unclear what that lesson is.

Aug 10, 2022
#3745 The *Idea* Of A Toilet

Luke goes full Rear Window as he watches dog poop drama unfold in the neighborhood outside his window. Plus, a cringy TikTok video/SNL audition tape draws the ire of the internet, which confuses Andrew, since everything is cringy to him. 

Aug 09, 2022
#3744 Manic Pixie Dream Zombie

Tens of Listeners step-up to help Luke and Andrew remember some details of TBTL’s past. Plus, a French scientist sent out a funny tweet and now he’s forced to pretend he did it for some educational purpose.

Aug 08, 2022
#3743 TBTL Unexplained

You’ve got questions, we have…answers? Sort of? Luke and Andrew go through letters from listeners who want to know the origins of jokes, audio drops, and other references regularly heard on TBTL

Aug 05, 2022
#3742 God Don’t Make No Junk Bonds

Andrew has been eating a lot of bologna lately, and no matter how hard he tries to avoid the topic, Luke insists on hearing the details. Luke also recalls the day he broke out of his own bedroom and got his socks all wet.

Aug 04, 2022
#3741 Macho Macho Dad

Luke reveals more details about his childhood dresser, which contained illicit football stickers and the rough-hewn lyrics of an ‘80’s banger. He and Andrew also pay respects to Vin Scully and revel in the latest word salad from the Detroit Lions’ head coach.

Aug 03, 2022
#3740 Dill With It

Pickle flavoring is really having a moment, but pickle-loving Luke isn’t into it. He and Andrew also discuss the best and worst tools on a Swiss Army Knife.

Aug 02, 2022
#3739 Shut The #%&! Up Elmo

TBTL Friendo and Fancy Hollywood Director Cat Solen hops on the show to explain why Muppets and puppets never break character on set. Plus, a big weekend project leaves Andrew more dim-witted than usual on a Monday. And Luke tries to figure out the difference between wingdings and webdings.

Aug 01, 2022
#3738 I Approve This Massage

Luke immediately regrets his decision to sit in a massage chair in the middle of the Bismarck airport, although he did make a new friend while being publicly gyrated. Plus, a chain of chicken restaurants bought $100,000 worth of Mega Millions lottery tickets and intends to share the potential winnings with its employees.

Jul 29, 2022
#3737 And You Don’t Believe In A Mark?

Luke has a moral conundrum regarding his rental car in Bismarck, ND, and he reluctantly asks Andrew for advice. Plus, people in France are freaking out over a mustard shortage. And something peculiar has caught Luke’s eye in a video of Julia Louis-Dreyfus on the set of Sesame Street.

Jul 28, 2022
#3736 Will It Dunc?

Luke joins the show from the Olive Garden District of Bismarck, ND, where he’s been unironically enjoying the bottomless breadsticks and salad. Plus, Andrew has a few things he needs to clear up about yesterday’s “What’s In The Box” segment. Meanwhile, the nation is in mourning over the death of the Choco Taco.

Jul 27, 2022
#3735 Big Beautiful Books

Luke joins the show from Bismarck, ND, where he’s learning the lay of the land. Meanwhile, Andrew made his first trip to the new TBTL PO Box and found it overflowing with correspondence from Tens of Listeners.

Jul 26, 2022
#3734 TBTL: Back In Caption

Andrew is upset that his submission to the New Yorker cartoon caption contest didn’t win after seeing the finalists. Speaking of the New Yorker, Luke is fascinated by a piece about the VW minibus, which was apparently somewhat inspired by something called “The Chicken Wars.” 

Photo of VW minibus by OrangeChallenger, licensed under Creative Commons.

Jul 25, 2022
#3733 Tom’s Of Mayonnaise

Luke does something really, really terrible during the show involving [trigger warning] coffee and mayonnaise. Plus, Dr. Oz’s social media team continues to get completely roasted by his opponent’s campaign. And Andrew tries to tackle the age-old question: What’s worse, listening to someone talk about their dreams or listening to someone talk about their fantasy baseball team? 

Jul 22, 2022
#3732 Rex In Effect

Luke has introduced spray bottles into his relationship with his cat, and it’s changed everything. Plus, a woman earned a job interview after responding to a rejection letter with a goofy meme.

Jul 21, 2022
#3731 Well Behaved Kittens Rarely Make History

Andrew is working to change the way he talks to his cat -- and all pets in general. Plus, a minor league baseball GM gets a prostate exam while singing “Take Me Out To The Ballgame”, although it’s not entirely clear why. And Luke and Andrew try to figure out why they are completely uninterested in the Game of Thrones sequel.

Jul 20, 2022
#3730 Schrödinger's Camera

Luke has thoughts on the new, buzzy Nathan Fielder show, The Rehearsal. He and Andrew also come up with a new segment idea for TBTL.

Jul 19, 2022
#3729 Morgan A Feeling

Luke just got back from Austin, where he gathered with friends to pay tribute to the late, great Drew McFrizz. Meanwhile, Andrew was almost denied an opportunity to clean a big mess in peace. Plus, something very interesting happened at an Omaha airport over the weekend. 

Jul 18, 2022
#3728 The Deal Hunter

The CEO of Costco has made it clear that the store will NOT be raising prices on its cheap hot dogs, even if it is a money-losing venture. This gives Andrew the opportunity to ask Luke a very important question about the way he consumes soda pop. 

Jul 15, 2022
#3727 Chart Of Escalation

Andrew learns something shocking about his own past. And an article in the New York Times helps Luke understand how he became a pathological liar (JUST KIDDING).

Jul 14, 2022
#3726 What A Kroc

Luke runs into some problems in his quest to reprint an Andre The Giant photo, and it’s making Andrew feeling a little panicky. They also talk about the time Ray Kroc commandeered a stadium PA system to call his own ballplayers “stupid.” And Andrew accidentally entered a humor contest while on the toilet.

Jul 13, 2022
#3725 P.O.d-à-Terre

Luke returns to the bar that has his favorite, mysterious Andre The Giant photo hanging on the wall, and he asks the owner if he can borrow it. Plus, a stolen Olympic medal is discovered in an old McDonald’s bag. And Andrew is excited that TBTL finally has a P.O. Box!

Jul 12, 2022
#3724 There’s A Right Way To Rock And A Wrong Way To Rigmarole

Luke has finally found true happiness, and he has video to prove it. Plus, a listener sheds some important light on Luke’s recent adventures at The Home Depot. And a drunk newscaster gives it her all in Albany.

Jul 11, 2022
#3723 A Work Of Dart

Luke joins the show from Port Townsend, where he’s falling in love with the small maritime village all over again. Meanwhile, Andrew (and his camera) got teased on the bus recently. And two Oregon cities are battling over a claim to “the world’s smallest park.”

Jul 08, 2022
#3722 Mayo Culpa

Andrew does some old-fashioned, shoe-leather reporting at his local Subway shop to find out what’s really going on with the restaurant’s menu changes. He and Luke also offer a somewhat delayed review of No Country For Old Men. And they discuss the rise of “GentleMinions”, who are disrupting screenings of the new Minions movie. 

Jul 07, 2022
#3721 It’s My Way Or The Subway

Andrew is very agitated about upcoming changes to the sandwich menu at Subway. Luke had a real scare with his cat, Bubbles, this morning. And a listener needs help navigating a small-ish issue with his neighbor.

Jul 06, 2022
#3720 I’m Not A Lawnmower Man, I’m A Lawnmower, Man!

Luke and Andrew began their 4th of July Weekend hoping to get a lawnmower and a dog, respectively. Today they report back on their adventures. 

Jul 05, 2022
#3719 Yes, Mayhem

Luke’s attempts to get his hands on a lawnmower continue throughout the show, as he receives many updates and mixed messages from hardware stores around the Pacific Northwest. Plus, the internet is desperately trying to find the woman who won almost all the cooking prizes at a Virginia-Kentucky district  fair.

Jul 04, 2022
#3718 Yo Gabapentin

Andrew’s dog-ological clock is ticking again, Luke runs into issues buying a new lawnmower, and the Marsupial Gurgle website is entering a new phase of life.

Jul 01, 2022
#3717 It’s A Zeller’s Market

Bubbles the Cat got up to a lot of trouble in Luke’s studio yesterday, almost completely sabotaging today’s show. Plus, employees at Medieval Times want to unionize, Bed, Bath and Beyond stores may be cutting air conditioning to save money, and AirBNB says “no more parties!”

Jun 30, 2022
#3716 The Rural Brewer

Andrew went to the dump yesterday, where he hoped to avoid getting “hollered at.” Results were mixed. Plus, Luke is in email hell. And a drunk man in Japan lost a thumb drive containing personal and banking information of a half a million people.

Photo of Shoreline Transfer Station art by Martin Auad via Creative Commons license. The photo in the transfer station is called Terra Firma by photographer Steve McGehee.

Jun 29, 2022
#3715 Jerry Of The Jungle

Andrew’s War On Blackberries leads to an encounter with a new neighbor. Luke almost struck a deal with the world’s sketchiest electrician. And a listener shares an incredibly cringy story from the workplace.

Jun 28, 2022
#3714 Bramblin’ Man

Andrew went to war with blackberry bushes this weekend. Luke took his shirt off at a pool party. And a Mariners fan somehow managed to get pizza delivered to a bummed-out baseball player at Angel Stadium during a game. 

Jun 27, 2022
#3713 A Supremely Bad Day

Luke and Andrew try to process the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe vs Wade. Plus, Andrew got fired from a job yesterday. (Sorry, it wasn’t TBTL.) 

Jun 24, 2022
#3712 Pho Fighters

After hearing from many listeners, Luke has a new theory as to why some characters pronounce the word “bear” like “bar.” Andrew disagrees. Plus, a sriracha shortage may be around the corner, and a photojournalist captures a breathtaking moment as a swimming coach makes an underwater rescue.

Jun 23, 2022
#3711 Diss And Vinegar

Luke taste-tests the new “Healthy Coke” alternative, which is essentially vinegar and water. Andrew does not. Plus, Luke met Russell Wilson last night and encouraged him to reprise his Mr. Unlimited character.

Jun 22, 2022
#3710 A World Of Yurt

Luke and Andrew discuss foldable shovels, tents you can’t touch in the rain, and how time-lapse photography is getting Luke through his renovation projects. 

Jun 21, 2022
#3709 Headbutt First, Ask Questions Later

The universe tried to thwart Luke’s plans to enjoy an outdoor concert this weekend, but fun prevailed! Plus, Bubble The Cat gives Luke a scare, and a TBTL Ten teaches the boys something important about beach tar.

Jun 20, 2022
#3708 Getting Jiggle With It

Andrew and Luke (with a little help from the New York Times) dig deep into the charming and fascinating story behind the “Jiggle Jiggle” rap that’s taken over TikTok and the world. 

Jun 18, 2022
#3707 Cliffs Nopes

Listeners go into deep sleuth mode to try to find the origins of Luke’s new favorite photo of Andre the Giant. Plus, competing op-eds in the Washington Post debate the pros-and-cons of digital QR code menus in restaurants. 

Jun 16, 2022
#3706 Didn’t Know You Like To Get Sweat, Though

Luke and Andrew marvel over “Fake Klay Thompson'' getting access to the court at the NBA Finals because he kind of sort of looks a little like the real Klay Thompson. Plus, Luke stumbles on the coolest photograph he’s ever seen, and he needs help tracking it down. 

Jun 15, 2022
#3705 Burbank’s Hierarchy Of Worries

Sweden has rolled out some sexy-talking garbage cans and Andrew is not into it. Meanwhile, the Space Needle owners are suing a coffee company over a logo that subtly uses the shape of the Space Needle, leading Luke to wonder about the legal status of tossed salad and scrambled eggs. (They’re calling again.) 

Jun 14, 2022
#3704 Bearly Andrew

A listener stumbles on a sketch that looks like Andrew…or does it? That’s the debate. Plus, Luke’s attempts to return a demolition tool go sideways at Home Depot.

Jun 13, 2022
#3703 Ah, That’s My Brain!

Luke got a taste of the sweet new Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me digs last night. And Andrew has a new catch phrase. And scientists are checking their hypotenuses on water consumption for humans.

Jun 10, 2022
#3702 A Pyramid Of Nonsense

Luke’s seatmate on his trip to Chicago has him thinking about the world at large, and how he moves through it. Meanwhile, Andrew’s trying to figure out a dang meme and his dang Ticketmaster app, each to no avail.

Jun 09, 2022
#3701 The Man In The High Russell

Luke is considering a “dopamine reset”, while Andrew learns that he really got away with something on his recent trip to the King County dump. 

Jun 08, 2022
#3700 Mr. Unliiiiiiivable!

Luke and Andrew try to discuss their respective Britta water filters without sounding tooooo fancy. Plus, Luke destroyed part of his home with a mini-hammer yesterday…and he’s just getting started!

Jun 07, 2022
#3699 Seize The Bidet

Luke ran a half-marathon that he wasn’t fully prepared for. It went both better and worse than he expected. Plus, Tens of listeners weigh-in on Septic Tank Talk, and Andrew has a new puttering project.

Jun 06, 2022
#3698 Don’t Be Careful What You Wish For

Luke picked up the phone to make a difficult phone call today, taking a major step in his own personal growth. Plus, the faceless company that owns the rights to Elvis Presley’s image and likeness is cracking down on Elvis-themed weddings in Vegas.

Jun 03, 2022
#3697 Kempting Fate

Luke has a very satisfying adventure with his new septic tank, and Andrew takes a trip to the Shoreline dump, where he was inevitably hollered at. Plus, Luke is puzzled by a couple of homemade bumper stickers, and his cat Bubbles has learned how to fly. 

Jun 02, 2022
#3696 There’s A Wrong Way To Right-Size

Luke and Andrew are beguiled by a homemade bumper sticker created by one Walter Burbank. They also discuss the major league baseball player who has an almost comic ability to hit home runs at the exact wrong time.

Jun 01, 2022
#3695 The Scootercycle Diaries

Andrew’s drive home from Denver was less uneventful than he had hoped, but he learned a lesson or two along the way. And Luke here’s back from his AirBNB host after sending him a few gentle suggestions for future guests.

May 31, 2022
#3694 If You Can’t Handle Me At My Ben Gibbard, Then You Don’t Deserve Me At My Bon Iver

Luke and Andrew wrap-up their adventures in Denver with a final walk-through of their AirBNB and an accidental visit to the Adult Bookstore district. 

May 30, 2022
#3693 Copyrights And Copywrongs

Luke and Andrew wrap-up this year’s TBTL-a-Thon as Andrew plots-out his trip back home and Luke plots to stay in Denver forever.

May 27, 2022
#3692 Responsibly Snoozed

Day Four of the TBTL-a-Thon arrives and finds Andrew and Luke oversleeping and trying to trick Enterprise into giving Andrew a new rental car…which was QUITE the adventure.

May 26, 2022
#3691 Pizza Is My Co-Pilot

Luke and Andrew try to offer the Tens of listeners a distraction from the gut-wrenching news of the day by examining Andrew’ snack choices on his road trip out to Denver this week. They also take calls from listeners who have wifi stories and some amazing kitten advice to share. 

May 25, 2022
#3690 The Mitsubishi Massage

Andrew celebrates two big technology wins as he and Luke stream the show live from Denver for Day 2 of the TBTL-a-Thon. Plus, Luke jogged past Russell Wilson’s new football home today and felt some feelings.

May 24, 2022
#3689 There’s Something About The Soul Of A Yaris

Live From Denver! Luke and Andrew kick off TBTL-A-THON 13 with a live-streamed broadcast from their temporary studio. They also try to figure out what drives Andrew’s car-rental decisions and if their AirBNB is owned by a Scientologist. Plus, phone calls! Fun!

May 23, 2022
#3688 Phyllistrations

TBTL Friendo Phyllis “Fletch” Fletcher stops by to talk about her newest journalistic endeavors and to help Luke and Andrew announce the new TBTL-a-Thon donor gifts! 

May 20, 2022
#3687 You’re On Thin Eggs, Buddy!

Now Luke’s having TBTL-a-Thon stress dreams, and he’s locked in Kafkaesque a battle with his internet provider. Meanwhile, Andrew shares some fond memories of winters on Lake Winnipesaukee.

May 19, 2022
#3686 Get A Load Of This Kai

A quick mention of Mike Tyson’s Punch Out becomes anything but quick once Luke discovers a special YouTube video related to the topic. Plus, Andrew is trying to take lessons from his stress dreams as the TBTL-a-Thon approaches. And a kid named Kai got to live his own dream when he was invited to drum with Pearl Jam. 

May 18, 2022
#3685 Big Clammy Energy

Luke and Andrew wonder which one of them would win if they arm wrestled each other, but they make no plans to do so. They also inexpertly discuss the design flaws of some of the Galactic Empire’s transport vehicles.

May 17, 2022
#3684 And You Don’t Believe In A Todd?

Luke joins the show from the storied Algonquin Hotel in New York City, where he’s doing his best “Dorothy Parker After A Long Jog” imitation. Meanwhile, Andrew’s anxiety about the upcoming TBTL-a-Thon is reaching new, albeit unjustified, heights.

May 16, 2022
#3683 Deuterocanonical Deets

Luke and Andrew discuss cats, kittens, Showtime at the Apollo, smokeless tobacco, Baz Luhrmann screeners, TBTL trivia night, cycling, lawnmowers, tractors, Tweety Bird t-shirts, and, of course, the Shroud of Turin.

May 13, 2022
#3682 The Show, It Makes Us Old

A quick apology to Luke turns into a half-hour conversation about the viscosity of condiments. Plus, Andrew accidentally found himself embroiled in a home project last night involving something that looks like a little robot head.

May 12, 2022
#3681 Bagetting The Question

Luke finally brought his new kitten home yesterday, and he’s deeply, madly in love…although it was tough to take her away from her first family. We get all the deets on that, plus, Jon Bon Jovi seems to be losing his voice, and people are concerned.

May 11, 2022
#3680 You Gonna Finnish That?

Apparently Canadian astronauts are no longer allowed to commit space murder. Plus, Luke’s getting his kitten tonight!

May 10, 2022
#3679 The Space Noodle

Luke tweeted a photo from the Seattle airport this weekend, and it got the attention of some city leaders. Will Luke be the change he wants to see in the world?

May 09, 2022
#3678 Dino Night

TBTL Friendo Brendan Francis Newnam hops on the show to talk about his new travel podcast, Not Lost, which includes a fateful trip to Vegas with one Luke Burbank. Plus, Andrew finally opens up about the first time he saw Jurassic Park.

May 06, 2022
#3677 Whole Glottal Love

Now that The Seattle Sounders are the best soccer team in North America, Luke and Andrew try to jump on the bandwagon. Meanwhile Andrew refuses to hear Luke’s compelling argument as to why he should install a Pickle Ball court at his new house.

May 05, 2022
#3676 Let’s Turn This Milhouse Into A Milhome

Luke joins Andrew in his new studio for the first time to discuss his serendipitous morning and a chance meeting in the Greenlake neighborhood. Plus, new details are out about the woman who fell down a trail toilet during a hike recently. The details are dazzling.

May 04, 2022
#3675 I Know What You Were Singing Last Summer

Luke and Andrew deal with a verifiably Bad News Day for America by soaking up some radio sunshine from the Tens of Listeners. Luke joins the show from Stockton, California, which happens to be home to one of TBTL’s youngest fans. He and Andrew also hear from a youthful singing sensation on the TBTL voicemail line.

May 03, 2022
#3674 A Couple Of Dopes Talking About Soaps!

Luke suffered some DEEP embarrassment at the airport yesterday, but Andrew talks him through it. They also learn about one man’s efforts to recycle gently used bars of soap left behind in hotels.

May 02, 2022
#3673 Repo Boys Becoming Repo Men

Luke is obsessed with a new TikTok trend that is very difficult to describe, but that doesn’t stop him and Andrew from trying! Plus, Luke’s favorite magazine gets an exclusive interview with the man who was secretly recorded dipping his hot dog into his beer at a Yankees game.

Apr 29, 2022
#3672 The Ancient Art Of Belgian Phone Throwing

Something incredible happened to Luke earlier this week, and he didn’t even plan on telling us about it. What the heck? He and Andrew also discuss the story of a woman who called 911 after falling down into an outhouse toilet. 

Apr 28, 2022
#3671 I Am The One Who Grumps!

Johnny Depp said something in court yesterday that stopped Luke in his tracks. Plus, the truckers orchestrating a protest convoy found themselves in the worst situation they could possibly imagine. It involved gridlocked traffic, Berkeley students, and an endless supply of eggs.

Apr 27, 2022
#3670 And You Don’t Believe In A Bird?

We joke a lot about “hot takes” on TBTL, but Luke has two very legitimate hot takes today, one of which was inspired by a photo of Henry Winkler. Luke and Andrew also discuss whether it’s time to bring robot umpires into baseball, and Andrew becomes obsessed with tracking down a particularly bad Chevy Chase movie.

Apr 26, 2022
#3669 Feel The Electrizzzity

Luke and Andrew gear up for the Great Twitter Takeover by Elon Musk. They also compare notes on some home renovation projects, one of which led Andrew to almost have a freakout at Home Depot this weekend.

Apr 25, 2022
#3668 Spare The Roku Stick, Spoil The Television

CNN’s new streaming service is already history, and Netflix is struggling with its own numbers. Luke and Andrew weigh-in on the landscape of modern media….and on Paul F. Tompkins’ Cameo videos, which are PERFECT. 

Apr 22, 2022
#3667 Last Night’s Fish Today

Stephen King (the author) offered the internet a unique fish recipe the other day, and boy oh boy, did it cause a stir. Plus, the Seattle Mariners have explained why they stopped playing Louie Louie during the 7th inning stretch, but their reasoning doesn’t satisfy Luke and Andrew.

Apr 21, 2022
#3666 You Should Smiley More

Andrew’s latest home project leads to an online shopping mistake that is haunting him. Plus, Luke is starting to really come around on this Nicolas Cage guy!

Apr 20, 2022
#3665 We Have The Steams!

Andrew is very worried about today’s Wordle puzzle based on what he’s seeing in his Wordle chat group. Meanwhile, Luke’s been digging the new HBO show Our Flag Means Death, AND he has an update on his new kitty, Bubbles, whom he’s currently in a long distance relationship with.

Apr 19, 2022
#3664 Louie Booey

Luke and Andrew have some big plans for this year’s TBTL-a-Thon, and they’re excited to share them. Also, Luke has some personal news of his own he’d like to share. (Don’t worry, it’s good news!)

Apr 18, 2022
#3663 That’s What They Said On “Ask Vieves”

Luke is officially a “glasses guy” now. And Andrew, apparently, is a “shelf guy”? Also, Elon Musk’s attempted takeover of Twitter sends Luke and Andrew (and eventually Genevieve!) down a Cheers rabbit hole.

Apr 15, 2022
#3662 Have A Cow, Friend!

Andrew has developed a strong curiosity around Charleston Chews, and he might just act on it. Also, Luke is shocked to hear that a streaming platform with a household name has a smaller audience than TBTL.

Apr 14, 2022
#3661 …And Then, The Thinkable Happened

Luke is considering doing something completely against his nature, and Andrew tries to guess what it is. They also look back at the life and career of Gilbert Gottfried, including his most important work on USA’s “Up All Night,” which many mainstream publications have overlooked.

Apr 13, 2022
#3660 Woodworf & Bernstein

Andrew tries to help Luke solve a mystery surrounding a little league baseball card from Luke’s youth. Plus, an enterprise reporter is upset that people are stealing his stories and turning them into podcast series. Is there anything he can do?

Apr 12, 2022
#3659 Mackinac And Me

Luke had a little accident in his apartment this weekend, and now he may have a new scar to show off the next time he’s hunting sharks with a guy named Quint. He also has some thoughts about last night’s finale of Severance, but Andrew doesn’t want to hear them.

Apr 11, 2022
#3658 Dr. Wham-O’s Monster

Andrew mowed his lawn for the first time yesterday and offers Luke a complete report. They also debate which of their childhood “flying novelty discs” was better. And they gear up for today’s big Seattle Mariners season opener!

Apr 08, 2022
#3657 The Mow Before The Snow

Luke and Andrew are hoping to take advantage of today’s 70 degree weather before the snow comes this weekend. Because everything is fine and that’s how weather is supposed to work. Plus, we have a big update on the Patty Moriarty mystery that led Luke and Andrew to Larrimah, Australia a few years ago.

Apr 07, 2022
#3656 I Thought It Sounded Bad…On The Outside!

A listener helps Luke track down the audio of his very first radio show from the 1990s, leading to a true moment of inception on TBTL. Plus, the Washington Post has published an absolutely fascinating story of a carpet cleaner in DC who speaks 24 languages.

Apr 06, 2022
#3655 Are You Ready For A Dateline!

Luke discovers a TV show from 1976 that is blowing his mind. Andrew learns that he’s living with a Slender Man. And a listener’s in-laws turn on the TV to see that they’ve made the local news.

Apr 05, 2022
#3654 Hairy Pottersville

Luke and Andrew are worried about the friendship between Will Ferrell and Adam McKay….despite enjoying the project that caused the apparent rift. They also listen to the best/worst radio intro currently on Seattle’s airwaves. And Luke made a lasagna.

Apr 04, 2022
#3653 Stolen Valkyrie 

Former Seattle quarterback Russell Wilson has a new “NFT-powered hydration drink brand aimed at Gen Z consumers,” because of course he does. Plus, Luke might have offended the world's biggest fish painting fan. 

Apr 01, 2022
#3652 Blursed Lines

Luke and Andrew listen to the new official song of the Cleveland Guardians, the city’s recently-rebranded baseball team. They also discuss Washington’s new state sport, pickleball, and Andrew quizzes Luke on other state’s official sports.

Mar 31, 2022
#3651 Fix It. (Sunglasses Guy Emoji)

Andrew set foot in Costco for the first time ever yesterday and has a full report. He and Luke also discuss their own awkward brand of email etiquette, and they listen to Paul Rudd prank Conan O’Brien once again, despite all odds. 

Mar 30, 2022
#3650 The Costco Of Doing Business

Luke is in Hawaii, but all hell is breaking loose at his apartment building back home. Meanwhile, Andrew’s chair is pranking him, and -- unrelatedly -- he’s just beginning to learn about The Costco Culture.

Mar 29, 2022
#3649 Whom Startled Who?

Andrew is disoriented in his brand new studio, while Luke joins the show from Waimea, Hawaii, where he can hear his neighbors through the wall. Nonetheless, they are here to talk about what happened at the Oscars ceremony last night.

Mar 28, 2022
#3648 Come Flail Away, Come Flail Away With Meeeee

Today is the final day Andrew will record TBTL from his Roosevelt District studio, and he marks the occasion the only way he knows how: By talking about antiquated technologies and the weird feeling you get when you watch a cable guy drill a hole directly though your house. He and Luke also discuss the story of a woman who took it upon herself to entertain a crowd waiting for a film to begin at a Burbank theater. 

Mar 25, 2022
#3647 I’m Walkin’ Here! So I Appreciate Your Patience. Thank You.

Seattle is going to install “Driver Report Cards” at intersections to make waiting for pedestrians more fun or something. Luke and Andrew are a little confused about the details. Plus, Luke wants to adopt a cat named Thimble. Who wouldn’t?!

Mar 24, 2022
#3646 The Boston Marketplace Of Ideas

Luke got lost on a jog this morning and had to call for help. But he’s okay. Plus, a single mention of Boston Market quickly becomes an obsession for Andrew. And we hear from Tens of listeners who use the TBTL voicemail line to tell stories of garbage-related shenanigans and to seek help for breakfast-related conundrums.

Mar 23, 2022
#3645 Cilia Rabbit, Facts Are For Luke!

Luke finds himself in a nightmare transportation situation in Los Angeles, until he remembers a very old school solution. Plus, Andrew goes down memory lane and relives one of the more embarrassing moments of his adult life.

Mar 22, 2022
#3644 Pedam If You Got ‘Em!

Another day, another Wheel of Fortune head-scratcher. Luke and Andrew discuss the latest buffoonery from Pat Sajak and the gang. Plus, Andrew says goodbye to the Cleveland Browns after a very disappointing (and very angering) turn of events.

Mar 21, 2022
#3643 John Papas YOU!

The internet has unearthed a McDonald’s character that time had almost left behind. Luke and Andrew look back at the life and legacy of Uncle O’Grimacey and debunk rumors of his connections to the I.R.A. Plus, a Papa John’s franchisee in the U.S. decides to keep his restaurants open in Russia, because it’s unfair to deny Russian citizens their share of subpar pizza.

Mar 18, 2022
#3642 All That Racquet

Andrew confesses that the reason he always wanted to move to a city was so he could bounce rubber balls off of walls. Plus, Luke’s been digging the brand new Netflix docuseries, Bad Vegan. And a Dazzling Donor introduces a new mystery involving a TBTL audio drop. 

Mar 17, 2022
#3641 This Are The Days

Luke and Andrew are convinced they’re getting trolled by Annie Lennox AND Wheel of Fortune at the same time. Plus, the debate over Daylight Saving Time is tearing this country apart but bringing Congress together.

Mar 16, 2022
#3640 Nose To The Rhinestone

Producers of the The Goldbergs are still trying to use Jeff Garlin’s likeness long after he left the TV show, but the results are upsetting. Luke and Andrew also discuss “frost quakes,” Superman’s mustache, and the way Sylvester Stallone pronounced “butter” in Rhinestone Cowboy.

Mar 15, 2022
#3639 From G.A.T. To S.P.L.A.T.

After almost an entire month of retirement, Tom Brady says he’s ready to play football again! Andrew and Luke try to figure out why. Plus, some Wheel of Fortune fans are calling Pat Sajak a H_P_CRI_E. And a listener has launched an investigation into a frustrating garbage collection scandal that goes all the way to the top!

Mar 14, 2022
#3638 Bullying On The Byways 

A guy in a Ron Jon shirt  totally tried to fight Luke at a carwash yesterday! Also, he and Andrew receive some shocking Shrek-related news about the new Batman movie. (Sorry, the new The Batman movie.)

Mar 11, 2022
#3637 Take The Hutch, Leave The Cannoli

Expert free-stuff-getter Genevieve swings by to help a listener who has an ethical dilemma involving some furniture she found in her neighborhood.

Mar 10, 2022
#3636 You Can’t Be Seri-Russ

Tens of listeners help Luke and Andrew untangle their confusion over Greek and Latin number prefixes (not that they really needed any help, of course.) Luke also had to help his inconsolable mother process the news of Russell Wilson leaving Seattle yesterday. And Andrew receives some Very Big News during the show that may or may not be related to curbside garbage pickup.

Mar 09, 2022
#3635 Lonely Planet Of The Apes

Those number crunchers over at WordfinderX claim that more people are cheating at Wordle than ever before. Luke and Andrew discuss this, and then they try to figure out the Greek Alphabet in a segment that will haunt TBTL listeners for decades to come. (“Deca” means “ten!”)

Mar 08, 2022
#3634 I Miss The Old Pluto

Andrew thought he had the PERFECT content to bring to TBTL today, but his plans hit a very large practical snag. Plus, Luke has been enjoying the new Kanye documentary as well as a much heavier doc called The Other Side. And Luke and Andrew call a motivational voicemail line created by kids for kids.

Mar 07, 2022
#3633 If It Walks Like A Zuck And Sings Like A Zuck

It’s been almost a full week since the internet produced a video so cringy it made us want to burn the whole thing down. But luckily, our long wait is over thanks to the musical stylings (and NFT enthusiasm) of Mark Zuckerberg’s sister, Randi.

Mar 04, 2022
#3632 You Can’t Play Anything Anymore

Things finally get good about 90 minutes into today’s podcast when Andrew plays archival tape of Paul Simon explaining how he wrote “Bridge Over Troubled Water.” Plus, Pat Sajak is surprisingly funny on Twitter, where he’s also standing up for the contestants who embarrassed themselves on Wheel Of Fortune this week.

Mar 03, 2022
#3631 Joe Versus The VolCarole

Luke and Andrew clench their way through the most frustrating 4 minutes in the history of Wheel of Fortune. Plus, a new Disney Star Wars resort is getting bad reviews, but it still seems like a good place to get tight on space booze.

Mar 02, 2022
#3630 Booze You Can’t Use

Some pretty big things are happening in Andrew’s life, which of course Luke views as a victory for himself. Plus, some states are outlawing “Russian” vodka, although their efforts might be misguided.

Mar 01, 2022
#3629 Dusting For Prince

Luke and Andrew once again turn their attention to the Seattle Times’ Rants and Raves column, where one contributor is putting the whole R&R system on trial. Plus, Luke talked to someone involved with the crime scene he witnessed from his window last week, and their story is jaw-dropping.

Feb 28, 2022
#3628 No More Tiers

A major crime scene is unfolding outside Luke’s window, and he’s determined to find out what’s going on. Plus, what happens when your watch is a phone, but then it stops being a phone? And a thicc bear accused of making some trouble in Tahoe has been getting a bad rap.

Feb 25, 2022
#3627 Cotton Eye No

Luke and Andrew receive an exciting invitation to a public radio partnership; Their only concern is creating something that is TOO good. Plus, a bizarre promotional video starring celebrities of yesteryear leads to some shocking revelations about Rednex, the Swedish(!) band behind Cotton Eye Joe.

Feb 24, 2022
#3626 Yumming Our Yucks

A comedian is catching some flack for making fun of Ted Lasso fans on Twitter, and Matt Stafford (sort of?) apologizes for his response to a photographer’s nasty fall off of a stage right in front of him. And another young TBTL listener is using the voicemail line to workshop some jokes.

Feb 23, 2022
#3625 Lost Luggage And Long Femurs

Andrew joins the show from his hometown of Cleveland, Ohio, where he’s doing his best to keep his composure in the face of some (minor) technical issues. Meanwhile, back in Washington, sea lions are under attack in the “Rants and Raves” section of the Seattle Times. 

Feb 22, 2022
#3624 Shame Game

Luke and Andrew have every intention of tackling a special Presidents’ Day quiz, but things go off the rails when a listener sends them a clue to the latest TBTL mystery.

Feb 21, 2022
#3623 Wendt In Doubt

An exhaustive investigation into Norm’s bar tab on Cheers leads to an episode of TBTL that any podcast consultant would love: long, rambly, and with a LOT of questionable math. 

Feb 18, 2022
#3622 The Wolf Of Walnut Grove

Luke finally reaches out to England to find out whether his new favorite dog has been adopted yet or what! Plus, Matthew Stafford watches a photographer fall off a tall stage and just walks away, raising some questions about how he regards the people around him. 

Feb 17, 2022
#3621 Pressing The Moot Button With Luke Burp-Bank

Luke and Andrew are loving the new Netflix show Murderville. Also, CBS has an ingeniously evil way of promoting its new procedurals. And there’s a reason Luke and Andrew are afraid of hotel telephones. (Open tape via @MaxAndIvan on Twitter.)

Feb 16, 2022
#3620 Lu’s Clues

Luke is cooking up a possible TBTL adventure involving international travel and a canine namesake. Andrew is trying to solve a TBTL mystery involving a decades-old gubernatorial race in Tennessee. And that Nicole Kidman commercial showing in AMC theaters apparently has a cult following. 

Feb 15, 2022
#3619 Just A Matter Of Halftime

Luke finds himself deeper in the Marvel Comics universe than he ever imagined, but he’s still more of an Archie Comics kind of guy. He and Andrew also review yesterday’s Super Bowl Halftime show and a commercial that was so good it was actually bad. 

Feb 14, 2022
#3618 Luke, I Am Your Zaddy

Luke finds himself in a Twitter beef with one of public radio’s biggest stars. Plus, the largest asset seizure in US history also shined a spotlight on an unlikely (and ill advised) rap career.

Feb 11, 2022
#3617 V Is For Thursday

Luke learns the one question he’s not allowed to ask Amy Poehler when he interviews her. And now he wants to ask it, of course. Plus, a weird glitch is forcing some Mazda owners in Seattle to listen to public radio.

Feb 10, 2022
#3616 North Of Annoyed, South Of Loving It

Listeners help Luke and Andrew solve two TBTL mysteries and help them find a long lost audio drop. Also, Leslie Jones has been the best part of Olympic coverage so far, but her commentaries have been getting pulled from social media because NBC is dumb. 

Feb 09, 2022
#3615 Respect Your Alders

Did you know that the Olympics are happening right now? It’s true! But nobody seems to be watching. Plus, some PNW Orcas are bringing back a fish fad from the 1980s, and Joe Rogan still has his Spotify podcast, to Luke’s surprise.

Feb 08, 2022
#3614 Bell Yeah!

Luke digs through a mountain of emails from listeners trying to help him find his “Mystery Song.” And Andrew spent a full day at the movies, expanding his horizons. 

Feb 07, 2022
#3613 I’m A Wordle Not A Shurdle

Luke is falling in love with the absolute weirdness of Montana Public Radio. Plus, Minnesota has some of the best snow plow names, but the schoolchildren of Vermont are offering some competition.

Feb 04, 2022
#3612 It Comes With The Teritony

Luke may be trapped in a cabin in snowy Montana, and Andrew’s working on something that’s not funny enough to be stand-up material and not interesting enough to be a monolog. Plus the Washington Football Team announces a new name that is somehow less interesting than “The Washington Football Team.”

Feb 03, 2022
#3611 I Shot The Sheriff, But I Brought No Harm To The Sheriff’s Assistant

The kid who “wrote a book” and hid it in a library is getting more and more attention, and the volume now has a waiting list of several years. Andrew remains unimpressed. Meanwhile, Luke is still trying to figure out why a piano tune on TikTok sounds so familiar to him.

Feb 02, 2022
#3610 Where’s On First?

The New York Times bought Wordle, a hapless cruise ship scrubbed a satellite launch, and Luke wants to live like a Seattle tech bro. Plus, Tens of listeners help Luke try to identify a piano song he heard on TikTok. 

Feb 01, 2022
#3609 We Bought A Zoom

Luke stumbled on a clip of someone playing the piano recently, and he needs YOUR HELP identifying the tune. Plus, Spotify’s solution to the Joe Rogan misinformation problem is…lacking.

Jan 31, 2022
#3608 Snatching Awkwardness From The Jaws Of Comfort

Andrew opens up and tells Luke about one of his weirder habits, though some things should probably remain private. They also discuss eggs (they’re legit kind of weird, right?), and Andrew sucks all the fun out of a cute story about a kid in a library.

Jan 28, 2022
#3607 A Grip, Not A Gripe

Luke is obsessed with some cleaning-related videos he’s found on YouTube…but they aren’t cleaning what you think (I promise.) And it turns out HBO might actually be TV after all! 

Jan 27, 2022
#3606 The Bird Is The Word

Luke made a spontaneous gesture a few nights ago, and now he’s a bit worried about the repercussions. Speaking of repercussions, Luke also stole Paris Hilton’s NFT, and now he’s waiting to see what happens. Meanwhile, Andrew remains a very good boy. 

Jan 26, 2022
#3605 Shrimp And Save

Luke finally filled-out his 2022 calendar this morning and he is FEELING GOOD. Plus, a woman found out she actually won millions of dollars when she checked her spam folder. (Aren’t we not supposed to click on those emails?) 

Jan 25, 2022
#3604 Let’s Go Rebrandin’

Andrew is auditioning new Tonight Pants, Luke learns The Truth about JNCO jeans, and the orange M&M guy is going to start tying his shoes already.

Jan 24, 2022
#3603 Bad Tim-ing

Luke and Andrew pay tribute to the late Louie Anderson and listen back to his greatest gambling story. Plus, the news anchor who showed little empathy when his colleague was hit by a car on live TV is trying to convince the world that he is a human with real feelings. Luke and Andrew travel back in TBTL history to find out if Luke displayed any empathy when Andrew was once injured on the job.

Jan 21, 2022
#3602 Dick Clarks Ask The Darndest Things

Luke and Andrew give Genevieve a call so she can describe the TERRIBLE movie trailer she saw this weekend (Sorry, Owen Wilson.) Plus, Luke is delighted by  a couple of pieces of audio he stumbled on recently, including sound of a reporter who got hit by a car live on TV. And Andrew comes up with a great new catch phrase…but then forgets it immediately :(

Jan 20, 2022
#3601 The M Is For Micro, The S Is For Soft

Luke has a big tattoo decision to make, and he’s only got 3 hours to figure it out. Plus, Andrew’s been watching some weird stuff with his new screen projector. And a listener has some powerful new intel on a theater promotional tool from 2003 that has loomed large in Andrew’s relationship.

Jan 19, 2022
#3600 You Can Say Everything Anymore!

Luke and Andrew have about 40 minutes worth of observations and questions about the “Comedy” section of Cameo. They also discuss the story of a couple vandals who ended up getting caught because they didn’t tip a bartender. 

Jan 18, 2022
#3599 Wrong Like Bull

Luke and Andrew embarrass themselves by trying to answer the Jeopardy! questions that the show’s current champion got wrong. They also finally find their niche in the vast world of podcasting.

Jan 17, 2022
#3598 The Mundanity Of Hope

Luke and Andrew discuss their aversions to sharing food, even if it’s a “bass drum full of popcorn.” Plus, listener Tim shares his amazing tale of high school truancy and his road to eventual redemption. 

Jan 14, 2022
#3597 A Double Negative Of Political Urinal Stickers

Luke and Andrew hop on the Wordle craze that is taking the internet by storm. Plus, Andrew is getting plagued by spam phone calls and he doesn’t know what to do about it.

Jan 13, 2022
#3596 Don’t Bring A Scalpel To A Sledgehammer Fight

Luke is calling Day 3 of his at-home isolation “Home Alone 3”, a designation that Andrew has some issues with. They also discuss Steve Inskeep’s NPR interview with Donald Trump, and they pay tribute to Cambodia's “Hero Rat” who recently passed away.

Jan 12, 2022
#3595 Unproblematic Colonizing

TBTL Friendo Chris Hayes (also known for his work on MSNBC and the Why Is This Happening podcast) joins Luke and Andrew to geek out about the new Beatles documentary, Get Back. Plus, an anonymous listener finds a odoriferous way to get people to wear their masks properly.

Jan 11, 2022
#3594 Strong Brunswick Energy

Luke gets some bummer news on his latest COVID test, but he’s planning on making the most of his downtime this week. Plus, after Bob Saget passed away this weekend, it seems that everyone can agree on one thing: He really was a hell of a good guy. 

Jan 10, 2022
#3593 If You CPAP, Say Pap

Luke and Camaro Kev join the show from Las Vegas, where they plan on visiting the hottest Taco Bell nightclub in the world (once Kevin gets his CPAP working.) 

Jan 07, 2022
#3592 The Woody Woodpecker Cinematic Universe

Luke and Andrew overcome great technological adversity to produce today’s episode of TBTL, in which they eventually discuss Luke’s ill-advised homemade Neti pot and Andrew’s misguided attempts to turn his studio into an Andy Warhol-like party room. 

Jan 06, 2022
No Point Conversion: The Empire Strikes Back Of Football Seasons

Luke and Andrew look to the future of their favorite football teams after very disappointing seasons by the Seahawks and Browns. Will either team start next year with their current quarterbacks? They hope so.

Jan 05, 2022
#3591 Hug First, Ask Questions Later

Luke and Andrew find themselves at opposite ends of a cultural divide in the ongoing “War On Oldies.” Plus, Luke learns about an ill-named mountain in Oregon that he thinks could, respectfully, use a rebranding.

Jan 05, 2022
#3590 Mole Call

Luke had to embark on an Ocean's Eleven-esque heist in order to get an audio recording into the proper hands yesterday. Plus, a concerned hockey fan may have saved a coach’s life after spotting a dangerous looking mole from afar.

Jan 04, 2022
#3589 Early Stage Dystopia

Luke and Andrew kick-off the new year by opening up a bunch of holiday cards from the Tens of Listeners and taking a couple of phone calls from old friends. They also discuss Don’t Look Up, the movie everyone seemed to be talking about over the winter break.

Jan 03, 2022
#3588 Luke And Andrew And The Bottlecap Mystery!

Luke and Andrew end the year as they began it…by not getting to any of the topics they promised to cover. But they DO solve a couple of mysteries, including one involving some Burbank Family Drama going back decades.

Dec 31, 2021
#3587 We’ve All Made Some Mistakes In The Hat Department

Some songs go “lalala”. Some songs go “nanana.” And that, my friends, is the basis of today’s TBTL Winter Game!

Dec 30, 2021
#3586 Have You Heard The Good News About Smeagol?

Can Luke and Andrew tell if a quote came from the bible, Shakespeare, or Lord of the Rings? We’ll find out in today’s installment of the TBTL Winter Games!

Dec 29, 2021
#3585 United We Fall

TBTL’s most famous BriTEN, Paul, challenges Luke and Andrew with a quiz about English slang. They also discuss one of Luke’s biggest crushes in pop music.

Dec 28, 2021
#3584 Hoisted By Our Owen Petard

Luke and Andrew debate the best (and worst) moments of vacations. They also spend a remarkable amount of time talking about sports posters from the 1980s. And they take an online quiz based on Owen Wilson’s famous catch phrase: “Wow.” 

Dec 27, 2021
#3583 Nobody Out-Comedy’s The Luke

Luke’s encounter in a Chicago pizza shop sends Andrew on a Winter Games quest that he did not expect. Then they test their ability to recognize Christmas songs played backwards via a quiz created by Listener Aryn.

Dec 24, 2021
#3582 Wes Is More

We all know Luke loves his Wes Anderson films…but does he love them enough to pass listener Kelly’s trivia quiz? Plus, Andrew reminisces about the time he was “hollered at” for bringing a drink down to a pool in Hawaii.

Dec 23, 2021
#3581 Magna Cum Grody

TBTL Friendo Jami in Mississippi challenges Luke and Andrew (and their poor stomachs) with a homemade quiz based on her grandma’s friend’s 1970s-era cookbook. 

Dec 22, 2021
#3580 A Matchbox Made In Heaven

Day two of the TBTL Winter Games has Luke and Andrew taking a long, hard look at their relationship as they play a version of the Newlywed Game. (Also, Andrew talks about his toy cars a lot, which is super cool.) 

Dec 21, 2021
#3579 Close, But No Seagal

Let the TBTL Winter Games begin! Luke and Andrew kick-off two weeks of special episodes with a quiz from listener Mike, who wants to test their knowledge of Steven Seagal film titles. They also kick around some theories about heaven.

Dec 20, 2021
#3578 Dem Bits

Luke and Andrew discuss the story of a huge tip at a restaurant in Arkansas that ends up causing much more trouble than it was worth. They also relive the glory days of comedian Kat Williams causing havoc up and down the West Coast.

Dec 17, 2021
#3577 Blorn To Blurs

Luke had a scare at the airport yesterday, while Andrew was having the time of his life in Seattle. Also, Andrew maaaayyy have accidentally bought his girlfriend drug paraphernalia for Christmas?

Dec 16, 2021
#3576 Somewhere Between Humiliation And Triumph

Luke survived his icy water plunge this morning…at least long enough to tell us what happened. Plus, Jen “Flash” Andrews swings by the studio to talk about her adventures in foster parenting and why reboots like Sex AND The City are irresistible…but also probably a bad idea.

Dec 15, 2021
#3575 Ain’t No Laws When Your Hands Are Icy Claws

Luke is one day away from his arctic swim in the San Francisco Bay, and he is petrified. Plus, can Peloton sue Sex AND The City over the use of their product in the TV show? Andrew is skeptical of the whole thing.

Dec 14, 2021
#3574 Scent Of A Pacino

Luke saw some amazing art in Chicago this weekend….and he also saw some very not amazing art. Plus, a New Yorker profile of Succession actor Jeremy Strong has his colleagues jumping to his defense.

Dec 13, 2021
#3573 The Vax Of Life

Andrew almost cried when he went to get a booster shot yesterday, but not for the reason you think. Plus, authorities are cracking down on cosmetic enhancements at the world’s foremost camel beauty pageant.

Dec 10, 2021
#3572 This Is Zit

Andrew is excited to get his booster shot today, but isn’t sure if he should believe the warnings that it will knock him out tomorrow. Plus, Luke is in Chicago, at the scene of a very favorite TBTL moment in history.

Dec 09, 2021
#3571 Fay It Ain’t Go

Luke, Andrew, and Genevieve join forces once again for another TBTL + After These Messages Power Podcast. They delight in some new commercials from JB Smoove and try to sort out a baffling pitch from their beloved Kristen Bell.

Dec 08, 2021
#3570 Instant Gobble’s Gonna Get You

Luke and Andrew learn (with the help of the Washington Post) just how much havoc the Amazon Echo is wreaking for people named Alexa. Plus, Luke has some hot takes on the employer who laid off 900 workers after getting a huge influx of cash. 

Dec 08, 2021
No Point Conversion: Homer Run

Luke and Andrew finally get to enjoy a fun Seahawks win, and they’re now confident Seattle won’t lose any more games this season because just shut up and let them have this.

Dec 07, 2021
#3569 Critical Splenda Theory

It’s time for a rare TBTL After Dark! Luke swings by Andrew’s studio after a very long day to discuss an experience that may have changed who he fundamentally is as a person. Or not. Then Genevieve pops-in to help taste-test some Joe-Joe’s cookies and various kinds of milk.

Dec 07, 2021
Definitely Not A TBTL!

Today’s real episode of TBTL will be recorded and published later tonight. In the meantime, Andrew checks-in to explain what’s going on and to share some emails and vmails from the Tens!

Dec 06, 2021
#3568 My Brother-In-Law From Another Mother-In-Law

Luke and Andrew make plans to open up their own coffee shop…with a twist. Plus, listeners (many of them!) explain why it’s better to back a pickup truck into a parking space instead of driving straight in, making Andrew rethink his own parking practices. 

(Today’s intro tape via friday.beers.tv on TikTok.)

Dec 03, 2021
#3567 Possible Power Pleats

Luke and Andrew discuss The Flaming Lips while listening to Bush, because no one else will. They also discuss JAGs, LAX, Rob Gonkrowski’s acting career, Spotify’s year-end wraps, and their own bravery as podcast hosts.

Dec 02, 2021
#3566 Silver Supoons

Luke needs Andrew’s advice on how to deal with two neighbor-related dilemmas, and Andrew’s the exact wrong guy to ask. Plus, TBTL’s #1 Brit-TEN weighs in on the story about a group of travelers who got stuck in a pub for three days with an Oasis cover band.

Dec 01, 2021
No Point Conversion: The Best Offense Is Having An Offense

Luke and Andrew bemoan a couple of highly predictable and highly avoidable losses by their favorite football teams :( 

Nov 30, 2021
#3565 Zaba Dabba Doo

Luke goes to very great lengths to watch the new Kenny G. documentary...and it’s worth it. Plus, listeners weigh-in on Luke’s family vaccine dilemma and the security camera outside his apartment door. 

Nov 30, 2021
#3564 If You Give A Goat Some Gabagool...

Luke receives a text message during the show that places him smack-dab in a modern moral dilemma. Meanwhile, basketball star Giannis Antetenkupo loves Oreo cookies, but he JUST learned the proper way to eat them. 

Nov 29, 2021
#3563 Robes, Pierre!

Luke realizes he is being surveilled in a way that seems innocent enough, but is pretty upsetting in reality. Plus, Andrew decides to scratch off 3 lotto tickets that he found in his desk drawer. Will he be a thousandaire by the end of the show?! Tune in to find out.

Nov 26, 2021
#3562 Running A Fowl

On this special Thanksgiving episode of TBTL, Luke defends lumpy mashed potatoes and celebrates stuffing balls, while Andrew tries desperately to pass a holiday-related pop quiz. 

Nov 25, 2021
#3561 Take It Back To Grandma Town

Andrew and Luke get ready for Thanksgiving by remembering the smell of their grandma’s cupboards and taking a COVID test, respectively. They also learn a fascinating detail about Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure as they say farewell to the man who played Crazy Larry. 

Nov 24, 2021
#3560 Don’t Windex My Brownies

Luke and Andrew discuss their Thanksgiving plans while they also ponder the difference between pizza and cheesy bread with marinara sauce. Plus, an armored truck accidentally spilled money all over the freeway in San Diego, and now police say all the people who grabbed dollar bills have to give them back.

Nov 23, 2021
No Point Conversion: Boyler Alert

Luke and Andrew try to make sense of the bewildering 3-7 Seahawks after another painful loss. They also discuss the state of Baker Mayfield, who looked terrible yesterday in an ugly Browns win over Detroit.

Nov 22, 2021
#3559 North Of Strangers, South Of Lovers

Andrew is preparing for his first phase of Jury Duty later today, Luke is making plans to crash Andrew’s upcoming Hawaiian Vacation, and an Australian journalist finds himself in hot water for not listening to Adele’s latest release.

Nov 22, 2021
#3558 Vice President Of Trampoline-Related Dunking

The original Philly Phanatic is back, and the Phill-In Phanatic isn’t too pleased about it. Plus, Luke and Andrew receive a very moving message from a listener who’s found an incredible use for the TBTL Sound Machine.

Nov 19, 2021
#3557 The Truth About Cops And Robbers

Andrew has a VERY EXCITING update about the new TBTL SpaceHey community. Meanwhile, Luke is bracing himself for an upcoming movie about a radio journalist, which he knows is going to make him sob.

Nov 18, 2021
#3556 Ghost Duck Of Christmas Future

A new report suggests that people should stop sucking-in their guts, because it’s not good for your health. This is really hitting Luke where it hurts. Plus, Andrew’s been chopping it up with listeners on the new MySpace site, and he’s lovin’ it.

Nov 17, 2021
#3555 What’s A Meta, You?

MySpace is back, baby! Sort of! And Andrew is looking for friends. Plus, an interview with a 105 year old woman who just broke a record gets real honest real fast. 

Nov 16, 2021
#3554 Mike Check

Luke and Andrew remember their friend and TBTL Legend Mike Frizzell, with some help from Jen “Flash” Andrews and Bill Radke, who knew him well. 

Click here to donate to help Mike’s family or to bid on some classic TBTL merch to support the cause. 

Nov 15, 2021
#3553 Thumb And Thumber

Luke goes knocking on doors in his new apartment building on a quest to find a spice. But are his new neighbors ready to meet him like this? He and Andrew also celebrate the 51st anniversary of Oregon’s famous whale explosion...and they find out it wasn’t the only one. 

Nov 12, 2021
#3552 Quid Pro No

Luke and Andrew explore their differing personality types through a conversation about ranch dressing. They also discuss a couple of head-scratchy art projects that popped-up in the news this week, including the apparent destruction of an original Banksy work. 

Nov 11, 2021
#3551 You’re Boaring Me To Death

Luke has a terrifying encounter just outside Pleasanton, California, which doesn’t sound like a place where you should have a terrifying encounter. Oh, and Paul Rudd is the Sexiest Man Alive according to People Magazine and Stephen Colbert.

Nov 10, 2021
#3550 Almond Milk Hotel

Luke and Andrew are saddened by the death of actor Dean Stockwell, who apparently tried to leave show business behind more than once. They also hear about a man who says he paid off his student loans by eating exclusively at Six Flags for 7 years.

Nov 09, 2021
No Point Conversion: Discount Double-Check That Vax Card

David From The Basement joins Luke and Andrew to discuss yesterday’s big Cleveland Browns win and what to expect when Russell Wilson returns to face Aaron “I’m Immunized” Rodgers next week.

Nov 08, 2021
#3549 Grouchy Or Pro-Fauci?

Andrew is confused by a mask he saw someone wearing in public this weekend, and he wants to get to the bottom of it. Plus, Luke’s home renovation project is stirring up some complicated emotions.

Nov 08, 2021
#3548 Diners, Diners and Diners

Luke swings by Andrew’s studio, where they throw open the phone lines and hear from listeners, including one caller who used frontier justice to teach an unruly kid a lesson in a movie theater. Plus, Andrew ordered some soup at a diner yesterday! And it was okay!

Nov 05, 2021
#3547 ASCII And You Shall Recievey

Listeners help Luke and Andrew with some details about Emoji vs Emoticons. Plus, Merriam-Webster’s embrace of the word “Fluffernutter” inspires a very important conversation about peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches.

Nov 04, 2021
#3546 Parent Groups Just Don’t Understand

A campaign to create a donkey emoji prompts Luke and Andrew to reminisce about their very earliest internet experiences. Plus, a journey through Luke’s new neighborhood puts him on the scene of a live TV news report.

Nov 03, 2021
#3545 Fry Another Day

Luke is settling into his new apartment, but also maybe slightly electrocuting himself in the process. Plus, a controversial “mega dorm” project replaces windows with virtual windows, while Mark Zuckerberg promises to make everything virtual, eventually. Oh, hi, Mark!

Nov 02, 2021
No Point Conversion: The Wentz On The Bench

Luke and Andrew are happy that the Seahawks absolutely dominated a game that they were supposed to dominate, but Andrew is still VERY sour about yesterday’s Browns loss and a Fantasy Football bad beat that he can’t fully believe.

Nov 01, 2021
#3544 Younger, Broker And More East Coaster

Luke learned some important lessons while moving apartments this weekend, the main one being “never move apartments.” Plus, a very young listener offers a new inspirational theme song for TBTL and the Tens of Listeners.

Nov 01, 2021
#3543 Blurst Fiends

Luke will be spending his Halloween weekend moving apartments, and he’s already wondering if he made a Terrible Mistake. Plus, Andrew recaps the top three horror films of all time with ten words or less. And PETA wants us to start referring to baseball bullpens as “Arm Barns.”

Oct 29, 2021
#3542 Excuse Our French Dispatch

Luke has now seen the new Wes Anderson film, which puts he and Andrew on the cutting edge of pop culture criticism. Plus, BJ Novak uses Instagram to reveal why his face is used on weird products around the world.

Oct 28, 2021
#3541 You Love To Z It

Forget “Bones or No Bones”, Luke and Andrew realize they’re playing a game called “Brains or No Brains” every time they turn on their mics. And today they have No Brains. They also get around to discussing the fascinating “Bad Art Friend” story that riled everyone up recently.

Oct 27, 2021
No Point Conversion: Keenum Was The Case That They Gave Me

Luke and Andrew find their beloved Seahawks at 2-5 with another painful loss last night. They also try to remember way back to last Thursday’s Browns win over Denver.

Oct 26, 2021
#3540 A Frustration Of Nipping Birds

Andrew receives a gift from a listener in an unusual way. Luke regrets buying chowder coffee at the airport. And listener Harper calls back to give some context to her recent misdemeanor.

Oct 26, 2021
#3539 Whatcha Dune Here?

Luke and his friends ended up accidentally hacking the mainframe this weekend, raising a moral conundrum. Plus, it turns out we’re all just waiting to find out if we’re going to have a Bones Day or a No Bones Day.

Oct 25, 2021
#3538 Unfashionably Late

Luke has an absolute NIGHTMARE of a morning in New York City with a story that has Andrew’s blood running cold. Plus, a plan to save a bunch of dogs using drones goes sideways when “The A-Team” shows up. (Today’s intro tape via Chris Fleming)

Oct 22, 2021
#3537 Slayed By The Bell

Luke is in New York City, where he is recruiting new TBTL listeners one at a time. Plus, some research shows that ambulance sirens may cause more harm than good.

Oct 21, 2021
#3536 A Whirling Dervish Of Passwords

Luke and Andrew realize at the last minute that they can open the phone lines and take calls from listeners. So they do! Plus, Luke is shocked to hear that Andrew had a college radio show. 

Oct 20, 2021
#3535 Start The Steal

Luke swings by the studios of Walsh, Walsh And Doormat, which Andrew hopes smells okay for him. Plus, the highest-paid state employee in Washington just lost his job over a vaccination mandate. And a listener calls in with a fascinating story about breaking the law and getting caught.

Oct 19, 2021
No Point Conversion: Meme And Shout

Luke and Andrew lick their wounds after a couple of devastating losses for their beloved football teams this weekend.

Oct 18, 2021
#3534 I Hate A Swole Zonkey

Luke and Andrew discuss the rules of self-checkout kiosks at the grocery store and why Andrew is now on the wrong side of the law. Plus, a pack of zebra are on the loose in Maryland, and one zealous TV reporter thinks this is the story that will make him famous.

Oct 18, 2021
#3533 If You Can’t Tweet Them, Join Them

Andrew confesses to some embarrassing Twitter-related action this morning. Luke can relate. Plus, why you should never ask to see the chef at a restaurant, and other TBTL advice. 

Oct 15, 2021
#3532 The Bus Stops Here

Luke and Andrew discover “the worst video game ever created,” which leads Andrew to a new obsession. Plus, is Stephen King out here just making up words like “orlesque”?

Oct 14, 2021
#3531 God Don’t Make No Junkets

Luke’s interview with a film director suffers some technical setbacks. Meanwhile, Andrew accidentally put on his Good Socks today, even though he didn’t need to. And “Power Out Linda” sets the record straight regarding her role on TBTL. 

Oct 13, 2021
#3530 Not All Heroes Eat Grapes

Luke and Andrew are surprised to learn that a sixth iteration of Home Alone is coming to theaters, and that it features some of their favorite comedians. Plus, Paul McCartney continues to make headlines, this time by negging the Rolling Stones.

Oct 12, 2021
No Point Conversion: Clipboard Theo

Luke and Andrew brace for the future after the Seahawks lost their game...and their quarterback. And the Browns suffer a painful, high-scoring loss to Justin Herbert’s L.A. Chargers. 

Oct 11, 2021
#3529 Don’t Praise The Portal, And Don’t Condone The Throne!

Luke stumbled on one of the weirdest, most fascinating stories about a rock band that he’s ever heard. It involves “Fake Zombies.” Plus, Paul McCartney says he didn’t break up The Beatles. 

Oct 11, 2021
#3528 Chekhov's Cheesesteak

A San Francisco sandwich shop is eliciting a lot of confusion with its latest commercial. Plus, Luke blew out his voice again last night, and Andrew’s excited to see 4 Non-Blondes back in the headlines.

Oct 08, 2021
#3527 And You Don’t Believe In A Content God?

Andrew has jumped head-first into the surveillance game, and it’s paying off. Sort of. Plus, Luke’s awkward exchange in an elevator forces him to adopt a British accent from this day forward.

Oct 07, 2021
#3526 Wednesdays Are For The Walshes

William Shatner is going to space, but he’s still a jerk. And the results of this year’s Fat Bear contest creates an uproar. And listener Dave mark’s this year’s Trucktober festivities with a special poem.

Oct 06, 2021
#3525 Didn’t Know You Liked To Get Not Dry Though

Andrew’s adventures in plumbing go predictably sideways. Plus, Facebook, Instagram, and all their related products shut down for most of yesterday. Maybe that’s a good thing?

Oct 05, 2021
No Point Conversion: There’s Crying In Baseball!

Luke and Andrew say goodbye to a magical Mariner’s season, and they recap this weekend’s wins by the Seahawks and Browns (Sorry, Stu.)

Oct 04, 2021
#3524 Oh, Henry's!

Luke destroyed his voice this weekend rooting for his Seattle Mariners. But that doesn’t stop a podcaster! Also, farewell Ozy Media, we hardly knew thee. 

Oct 04, 2021
#3523 A Loaded Sack Of Moose Face

Luke’s travelling up to Seattle this weekend to drink in that sweet Mariners playoff race energy. Plus, Netflix’s new, wildly popular offering “Squid Game” is creating issues for a fellow who’s phone number is used in the show.

Oct 01, 2021
#3522 Brother Can You Spare A BOGO?

Andrew receives a surprise email at the beginning of today’s show. Plus, Mick Jagger chills at a little bar in North Carolina, and it’s kind of charming as hell. 

Sep 30, 2021
#3521 Ducks And Cover

Luke and Andrew realize that they’ve been missing a BIG DETAIL in their ongoing Duck Painting Coverage. Plus, a Danish artist pockets a bunch of government cash and calls it art. And Eminem is opening a restaurant called “Mom’s Spaghetti.”

Sep 29, 2021
No Point Conversion: First, Cousins...

Luke and Andrew try to make sense of the Seahawks’ 1-2 start after a loss to the Vikings. Meanwhile, the Cleveland defense almost murdered Chicago’s rookie QB. And the Mariners continue to keep it interesting, with only 5 games left to play.

Sep 28, 2021
#3520 Duck Tales

Luke and Andrew get an update on a mysterious duck painting, as well as a 40 million dollar conference call gone awry. Plus, a listener calls in with a story about getting a too-good-to-be-true deal on a kitchen appliance.

Sep 28, 2021
#3519 Opossumable Burgers

Luke is giving up coffee, at least for a week. Also, Alabama’s leading boudoir photographer and barrel racer is upset that the state has confiscated his opossum named Donovan.

Sep 27, 2021
#3518 Sea-Tac Is For Lovers

Luke stepped on a meatball, and then had a weird experience at the doctor’s office. These are unrelated events.

Sep 24, 2021
#3517 Brewster’s Oranges

Luke and Andrew go through the audio archives and play some long-forgotten TBTL intro tape. Plus, a YA author admits to compulsively sending made-up stories to Slate's advice columnist.

Sep 23, 2021
#3516 There Are No Trevors In ZZ Top

Andrew realizes he may need to see a men’s health specialist before he can perform his duties at an upcoming wedding. Plus, Demi Adejuyigbe released his final (?) “September” video yesterday. And listeners share tales of dog poop vengeance gone wrong and chefs taking ostentatiously long bathroom breaks.

Sep 22, 2021
#3515 The Buc-ee’s Stops Here

Luke spent the morning wearing a cowboy hat and yelling at the top of his lungs for a TV story. Meanwhile, MSNBC’s Chris Hayes becomes TBTL’s promotions department. 

Sep 21, 2021
No Point Conversion: Titan-ic

Luke and Andrew discuss the Seahawks’ somewhat baffling loss to Tennessee yesterday and the Browns’ ugly win over Houston. 

Sep 20, 2021
#3514 Somewhere Between Archie and Nietzsche

Luke joins the show from Texas, where he endured a boat tour guide whose sense of humor was...confusing at best. Plus, Gillian Anderson is asked an awkward question after her big Emmy win last night, but she handled it with aplomb.

Sep 20, 2021
#3513 Whiffs Of Winkler

A surprise attendee at the trial of the year reminds Luke and Andrew of Lucille Bluth. Or maybe George Bluth? Or is he more like Steve Buscemi in 30 Rock? We’ll figure it out. Plus, plant burglars are swiping valuable bonsai trees across the Twin Cities, and it’s kind of heartbreaking

Sep 17, 2021
#3512 The Brown Mile

The people of Trinidad are not happy with Nicki Minaj’s controversial claims about “her cousin’s friend” who supposedly experienced unusually personal side-effects of the COVID vaccine shot. 

Sep 16, 2021
#3511 Luke's Strong Grandpa Energy

Luke and Andrew remember comedian Norm MacDonald, who died much too soon. And an anonymous listener describes how they were taken-in by the same exact printer/toner scam that we talked about last week.

Sep 15, 2021
#3510 You’ve Got Newsletter

Luke and Andrew call-up Kiki Lolo, who has a big personal announcement to make (and some RomComs to recommend.) Plus, Nicki Minaj riles the internet with an anti-vax tweet that is...dubious at best.

Sep 14, 2021
No Point Conversion: Some Offense

The Seahawks and the Browns both looked very good in their season openers yesterday. Sadly, only one of them won. It’s okay, though. It’s going to be okay. 

Sep 13, 2021
#3509 Divide and Concur

Luke spent the morning wrestling with some cockamamie app with a terrible name in order to attend a virtual conference. Speaking of meeting software, some people are developing “Zoom Dysmorphia” after seeing themselves on their own computer screens all day. Also, Andrew drops the ball on several jokes, not unlike Nick Chubb in yesterday’s Browns game, which we WILL NOT talk about.

Sep 13, 2021
#3508 Jeepers Creepers, Where Did You Get Those Facebook Peepers?

Luke and Andrew face off in classic talk radio fashion over the new Ray-Ban sunglasses with cameras built into them. Plus, the sirens outside Luke’s window may be seriously impacting his broadcasting career.

Sep 10, 2021
#3507 The Buzzy End Of The Lollipop

Luke and Andrew listen to the Top Ten Happiest Songs Of All Time...as determined by neuroscientists.

Sep 09, 2021
#3506 Inking Outside The Box

The law finally caught up with a man who’d been running an overpriced printer cartridge scam for decades. And Luke and Andrew try to unlock the mysterious pricing schemes at a mall department store.

Sep 08, 2021
#3505 Braiding On A Curve

Andrew has some exciting new ideas for network TV shows, including “The Piano Man” and “The Pickle Jar Guy.” He and Luke also pay homage to actor Mickael K. Williams, who died this weekend. Plus, in Top Stories: Music Edition, Guns ‘n’ Roses get the power pulled on them, ABBA is reuniting digitally (?), and Lil Uzi Vert’s 24 million dollar diamond got ripped out of his forehead while crowd surfing (maybe).

Sep 07, 2021
#3504 Suit Yourself

Luke helps Andrew prepare for an upcoming wedding with some fashion and shopping advice. Plus, a listener is forced to do something nice at a drive-through window, and she is not happy about it.

Sep 06, 2021
#3503 Our Collective Uncle

Andrew goes on an emotional roller coaster ride with a traffic cop in Bellevue, Washington, while Luke walks a very thin negotiating tightrope with REI. Plus, we finally know what McDonalds’ Grimace character is supposed to be. Or do we?

Sep 03, 2021
#3502 I’m Not A Cyclist, I Just Pedal A Lot

Luke is still in Portland, instead of Philadelphia, where he was supposed to be interviewing some iconic sports mascots. He explains the lawsuit that kept him home. Plus, the tennis player who keeps taking long bathroom breaks finally gets booed after pulling his stunt again. And a woman is in jail after trying to pass a fake vaccine card with a dumb spelling error. 

Sep 02, 2021
#3501 Grand Theft Go-Kart

Luke survived a cinematic action scene while trying to cross a bridge this morning. Plus, someone stole a dozen go-karts from Luke and Andrew’s favorite family fun spot. And a “fake” high school scams its way onto ESPN. 

Sep 01, 2021
#3500 Dr. Hulkamaniac’s Monster

David From The Basement is here to crown this year’s official TBTL Song Of The Summer! Plus, listeners weigh-in on the great Dog Poop Debate of 2021. And a competitor at the French Open is accused of using bathroom breaks to cheat. 

Aug 31, 2021
#3499 Fair Shakes

Luke found himself a little more nervous than expected at the Oregon State Fair this weekend, while Andrew had a pretty big scare of his own at home. Plus, Heggies Pizza just blew Luke’s mind with  a tiny bit of frozen pizza advice.

Aug 30, 2021
#3498 Naving At My Gazel

Luke and Andrew find themselves slightly obsessed with the Milk Crate Challenge and with a new Steve Harvey project. Plus, a kind stranger saves the day for Luke and his Covid vax card.

Aug 27, 2021
#3497 Krampus Must Have Come Eaaarrrly!

Andrew discovers that he might have been on the same football team as a now-famous NFL coach...who might have soaped his locker. Meanwhile, Luke is in a very hidden valley, tracking down the roots of ranch dressing…

Aug 26, 2021
#3496 From S.H.A.G.s To Riches

Luke is on assignment in California, learning some fascinating things about search and rescue dogs! Plus, Andrew has some serious questions about a Seattle-area retirement community. 

Aug 25, 2021
#3495 Top Gum

Luke and Andrew discuss their afternoon snacks, bad breath, and their own bad gum-chewing etiquette. They also talk about the somewhat troubling “click-bait-ification” of Netflix tiles.

Aug 24, 2021
#3494 I Fought The Law And The Dog Won

Luke’s day in traffic court almost hit a big snag, but then his dog Rudy saved the day. Plus, the Washington Post offers some good advice on how to remember people’s names.

Aug 23, 2021
#3493 Oh, The Shane

Andrew bought himself a Battery Daddy, and there ain’t nothing wrong with that. But the slightly bigger news is that the new, self-selected host of Jeopardy! is already stepping down in disgrace, and the world is rejoicing. 

Today’s opening tape comes from Cassie Workman (@GhostCassie on TikTok)

Aug 20, 2021
#3492 Voight Where Prohibited

Luke finds himself in traffic court, while Andrew finally beats The Oregon Trail game. Plus, a reporter for The Ringer discovers many more reasons why the new host of Jeopardy! was a bad pick...including the fact that he received almost $300K in PPP loans while he was employed as an executive producer. 

Aug 19, 2021
#3491 Honey I Shrunk The Couch

Luke wandered around the remains of an old dry cleaners yesterday, looking for the clothes he’d left with them when they were still in business. Meanwhile, Andrew has some new CNN documentaries to putter around with. And an expert offers advice on how to properly engage in small talk. 

Aug 18, 2021
#3490 The Devil’s Swab

Luke got two Covid tests yesterday, and it was quite the afternoon! Plus, David From The Basement swings by to announce the TWO remaining finalists for this year’s TBTL Song Of The Summer!

Aug 17, 2021
#3489 Hey Gorgle, Take Me To Nortflorx

Luke and Andrew geek out over “Nestflix,” a website showcasing the fake movies and TV shows nested inside real movies and TV shows. 

Aug 16, 2021
#3488 Gallagher’s Hammer

Luke is headed off to a remote cabin in the woods (without electricity) for one of the hottest weekends of the summer. Plus, Andrew is very excited that some classic De La Soul records are about to be available via streaming services.

Aug 13, 2021
#3487 You’ve Got MEL

A lot happens on today’s show, but the important thing to know is that Andrew stumbles on a private investigator’s website that lists all the ways swingers secretly let other swingers know that they are swingers...one of which is “garden gnomes.”

Aug 12, 2021
#3486 A Cymbal Plan

Luke and Andrew react to the breaking news that Jeopardy! has officially announced its new hosts. Plural. Plus, Luke had a magical night at the Hollywood Bowl. And Seattle locals set Andrew straight about Bartell Drugs. 

Aug 11, 2021
#3485 From Busk Till Yawn

Luke discovers that a Los Angeles landmark very close to his heart disappeared, seemingly overnight.

Aug 10, 2021
#3484 A Boloney Comb?

Luke almost ruined an international business deal in Los Angeles, and Andrew has some serious questions for buskers in Seattle. Plus, Andrew’s ancient cat is now making trouble for other families, too. 

Aug 09, 2021
#3483 Bodok Steaks

Luke and Andrew are gearing up for their respective outdoor adventures this weekend...just in time for the first real rain of the summer. Plus, more details are emerging about the supposed new host of Jeopardy!, and they aren’t great. 

Aug 06, 2021
#3482 Who OSHAs the OSHA?

Luke blocks Andrew on Twitter. It’s a whole thing. Plus, Jeopardy! may have chosen its new host and -- if they have -- a lot of people aren’t happy with the pick. 

Aug 05, 2021
#3481 Burbsketball

Day 2 of Luke’s new workout routine has him worried that he might have broken gym etiquette. Plus, Australian birds are teaching each other how to open garbage bins, and it’s the end of an era for a classic Pacific NW beer.

Aug 04, 2021
#3480 Ya Been Stinkin’ Up My Sweaters!

David From The Basement swings by the studio to reveal the final four contenders for this year’s TBTL Song of the Summer and to discuss some VERY BIG Lord of the Rings news. 

Aug 03, 2021
#3479 A Swimple Plan

Luke is back with all kinds of stories from his summer break. Also, Andrew might have caught a very important home run ball in a parallel universe.

Aug 02, 2021
#3478 Happy Trailers To You!

Luke and Andrew close out the 2021 TBTL Summer Games with more of the Movie Trailer Challenge!

Jul 30, 2021
#3477 And Other Topical Things, Too!

Luke and Andrew try to stump each other with some hand-picked movie trailers for a game that Listener J-Dog (how did he get that name?) invented in a parking lot.

Jul 29, 2021
#3476 Doobie Trap!

Marissa in Maryland is back with another Michael McDonald challenge for Luke!

Jul 28, 2021
#3475 Bin There, Done That

Listener Kevin takes the TBTL Summer Games in a trashy direction with a homemade quiz about garbage containers. Plus, Andrew gets to know his x-ray technician in a way he never expected.

Jul 27, 2021
#3474 8-Bit Buds

The Summer Games continue with a challenge from one of TBTL’s youngest listeners, who just might be the daughter of Luke’s insurance agent. Can Luke recognize the 8-bit cover versions of pop songs? 

Jul 26, 2021
#3473 Homer Is Where The Heart Is

A very special listener writes-in to challenge Luke’s knowledge of The Simpsons as we close-out the first week of the TBTL Summer Games!

Jul 23, 2021
#3472 Schadenfreudian Slip

Luke talks about the time he made a motorcycle crash with his mind! All that and more is revealed on this Day 4 of the 2021 TBTL Summer Games!

Jul 22, 2021
#3471 Petty In Pink

Just how petty can Luke and Andrew get? A quiz sent-in by Jami in Mississippi should clear that up on day 3 of the 2021 TBTL Summer Games!

Jul 21, 2021
#3470 Imaginary Friends Of Imaginary Friends

Jake from Chicago (AKA “The Perfect Daddy”) tests Luke and Andrew’s knowledge of their favorite podcasts in Day 2 of the TBTL Summer Games!

Jul 20, 2021
#3469 Age Is Just A Cucumber

Luke and Andrew find out how old they really are based on the foods they love and hate. Welcome to the 2021 TBTL Summer Games!

Jul 19, 2021
#3468 An Embarrassment Of Ians

David From The Basement swings by to reveal the first round winners of the TBTL Song Of The Summer contest!

Jul 16, 2021
#3467 Let Me GabaGoogle That

Luke stumbles on the best cassette tape ever produced, and Andrew has a new TBTL slogan that is...upsetting. Plus, listeners weigh-in on garbage cams, buried teeth, and disgusting encounters with gum.

Jul 15, 2021
#3466 Fart Blanche

Luke and Andrew help their famous friend, Chris, with a rhetorical dilemma. But they thrill two birds with one scone by also discussing the goldfish that are getting HUGE in Minnesota waters.

Jul 14, 2021
#3465 Four On The Snore

Luke recorded himself snoring last night. Want to hear it? Plus, a Michigan man found 160 bowling balls buried under his house, and that’s not even the best part of the story!

Jul 13, 2021
#3464 Draw Me Like One Of Your French Recluses

Richard Branson sort of went to space, and we sort of don’t care. But we’re definitely not calling him “Sir”. Plus, a heated baseball rivalry has one team taking off jerseys and another team layering up under the Houston sun. 

Jul 12, 2021
#3463 A Squeeze Machine For My Brain

Luke realizes he has sleep apnea, so he and Andrew practice snoring exercises. Plus, an oral history of food expiration dates and an oral history of Ringo Starr being kind of annoying. 

Jul 09, 2021
#3462 Hogan’s Zeros

Luke discovers some vintage audio from the 1990s that is very specific to his interests. Plus, some Rowdy Boston Teens prevent a flight from taking off and ruin people’s vacations. And a new study says people (like Luke) are spending an astonishing amount of time on TikTok.

Jul 08, 2021
#3461 I Think You Should Stay

Luke is worried about the welders working on the construction project outside his window, while Andrew’s worried he’ll never get around to buying a new water bottle. Meanwhile, the CDC is taking Twitter heat for creating a somewhat graphic graphic aimed at keeping poo out of pools. 

Jul 07, 2021
#3460 Bonfire Of The Vanity Plates

Luke is VERY EXCITED about the return of the show I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson...so excited that he accidentally threw one of his most beloved possessions out of his 2-story window. Plus, a woman in Maine has a license plate that is irritating the Powers That Be.

Jul 06, 2021
#3459 Boom City Boyz

Luke and Andrew report back after their holiday weekend at an establishment known as “Boom City.”

Jul 05, 2021
#3458 Shut Up, Little Wizard!

David from the Basement swings by the Nest Broadcast center to announce the 16 finalists for the 2021 TBTL Song of the Summer! (And to talk a little bit about Lord of the Rings, of course.) 

Jul 02, 2021
#3457 Piven On A Prayer

Jeremy Piven has a new podcast coming out. Luke and Andrew sample the trailer he released. They also talk a lot about sex education for some reason, and they discuss a fascinating story about people trying to recycle bowling balls.

Jul 01, 2021
#3456 The Tip Of The Iceblurgh

Luke gets a new kitchen appliance that is exciting and mildly terrifying, while Andrew considers a trip to the Minnesota State Fair to eat various styles of fried dough.

Jun 30, 2021
#3455 It’s Randy O’Clock Somewhere

Luke is back, babyyyyy! But his weekend plans didn’t go exactly as expected. He checks-in with Andrew on surviving the PNW heat dome, and they discuss the nude Australian sunbathers who were scared by a deer and are now in trouble for violating COVID rules or something?

Jun 29, 2021
#3454 Strong Like Vieves

Genevieve (aka “The Longest Running Co-Bro Of Andrew’s Life”) swings by the sweltering studio to talk about how she is surviving the PNW heatwave and about Andrew’s not-so-subtle plan to move into his doctor’s waiting room to beat the heat.

Jun 28, 2021
#3453 He’s Got VPNs On His VPNs

Luke is bracing for this weekend’s intense heat wave while Andrew is not taking it seriously enough. Plus, a mysterious elephant migration is fascinating China, people are getting worse at The Price Is Right, and why ketchup bottles are biased against hot dogs.

Jun 25, 2021
#3452 Old Goals In New Goal Skins

Turns out, Luke’s mispronunciation of a reporter’s name might have been the best thing to happen to TBTL in weeks. Plus, a British man breaks the record for M&M stacking (but there’s a twist!), and Luke was very, very right about something, according to the Tens of listeners. 

Jun 24, 2021
The Fightin’ McGlory Brothers!

The New York TImes uses DNA tests to try to determine if Subway tuna sandwiches actually contain tuna...but the headlines don’t tell the full story. Plus, Paul Rudd takes one last shot at fooling Conan O’Brien with his Mac and Me gag.

Jun 23, 2021
#3450 Hot Chad Summer

Andrew is officially a White Claw guy now. So, watch out, world. Plus, it turns out that people really, really, really dislike Jeff Bezos. And defensive lineman Carl Nassib becomes the first NFL player to come out as gay. 

Jun 22, 2021
#3449 Grimli The Pleasant

Andrew comes into the show with some “hot slime energy”, while Luke grapples with some travel regrets. Plus, a national chicken wing shortage has restaurants scrambling, and a mistake by an HBO intern gets everyone talking about their most embarrassing workplace moments. 

Jun 21, 2021
#3448 Hooked On Hooked On Phonics Jokes

Luke has some intense experiences trying to eat sushi in Portland. Plus, a guy has to spend 24 hours in a Waffle House after losing a bet, but it seems like he’s being a little extra about it. And turns out, Peter Falk had to help quell a Columbo-related uprising in Romania.

Jun 18, 2021
#3447 Ernest Saves Congress

Andrew comes in hot with a story about the law making process in Washington State, forever changing the editorial direction of TBTL 🔥🔥🔥. Plus, Luke encounters his nemesis on his jog again. And today is the 75th anniversary of the very first mobile phone call.

Jun 17, 2021
#3446 Life And Love And Whatnot

Andrew has a question about strip clubs that he doesn’t really want answered. Plus, he and Luke recall the awful times in their lives when they slept through their alarms and found themselves late for work. And crayfish are doing stupid things after getting high off the antidepressants that humans are peeing out. 

Jun 16, 2021
#3445 Negligible Poundage

An 84 year old farmer finds himself an unlikely ASMR YouTube star, even though he doesn’t really know what YouTube is. Plus, science can explain why you probably hate the sound of your own voice.

Jun 15, 2021
#3444 Andrew’s Reverse Bucket List

NBC shuts down its “Ultimate Slip & Slide” show due to an “explosive diarrhea outbreak” that sounds like an “absolute nightmare.” Plus, Jeff Bezos’ plan to “travel to space” leaves Luke “wanting more.”

Jun 14, 2021
#3443 Honky Tonk Binaca Donk

Luke and Andrew continue to burn-up the podcast charts with a lengthy conversation about toothpicks and dental floss. Plus, an important update on Luke’s formerly favorite tweet, and Jeffrey Toobin takes to the airwaves again, for better or worse.

Jun 11, 2021
#3442 Love Me Tendie

Luke has scribbled down so many things he wants to talk about today, his show sheet “looks like Post Malone’s face.” First on the docket? The best tweet ever tweeted by a truck stop.

Jun 10, 2021
#3441 Boomer Goes The Dynamite

Luke and Andrew keep TBTL young and hip today with some fresh conversations about Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, and Mama’s Family. Plus, the FBI’s scheme to take down an international cartel is the stuff of movies.

Jun 09, 2021
#3440 Heaven Yelps Those Who Yelp Themselves

A fascinating article in the New Yorker has Luke contemplating getting a robot cat as a pet. Plus, the reviews are in: TBTL apparently has a Yelp page?

Jun 08, 2021
#3439 Bo Don’t Know Middle Age

Andrew is gearing up for a big scary day at the finger doctor’s office, and Luke is sorting out his feelings about Bo Burnham’s groundbreaking Netflix special. Plus, Luke stumbles on an astounding story from 2018 that Andrew thinks they’ve talked about before.

Jun 07, 2021
#3438 Better Than Bunk

Airlines may have to stop serving booze on flights since passengers are getting so rowdy. And Luke and Andrew are surprisingly okay with that.

Jun 04, 2021
#3437 Flaunting My Flouting

Luke and Andrew dive deep into their feelings after Andrew returns to his gym for the first time since the pandemic and Luke meets some Buff Dads. Plus, a heroic Spanish teenager digs his own hangout cave after getting into an argument with his parents.

Jun 03, 2021
#3436 Snatching Ls From The Jaws Of Ws

Andrew purchased an item yesterday that no reasonable person has purchased since 2002, and he’s excited for it to arrive. Plus, the coolest teen in California fights a bear to protect her dogs.

Jun 02, 2021
#3435 A Godly Vegetable

Luke is a little worried that he was too rude to his apartment property managers online, and Andrew has to visit “the bowels of hell” to retrieve a mysterious package. Plus, it would appear that movie-going audiences are ready to hit theaters again, possibly without masks. 

Jun 01, 2021
#3434 Aye, Concur

Luke and Andrew make it back home after their TBTL-a-Thon adventures, but their travels did not go exactly as planned. 

May 31, 2021
#3433 ...It Was The Blurst Of Times

Luke, Andrew and Kiki Lolo’s TBTL-a-Thon adventure hits a snag when their ‘93 Mitsubishi Delica breaks down in the desert at a place called “The Middle of Nowhere”. BUT, they do eventually make it to Phoenix to record today’s episode in front of Mary The TBTL Virgin. 

May 28, 2021
#3432 Non-Fungible Turtles

Luke, Andrew and Kiki Lolo arrive in Oceanside, CA, to record today’s show outside Listener Lisa’s condo. Kiki celebrates her first visit to a restaurant in 14 months at a place called “The Junkyard.” Meanwhile, Luke and Andrew try to figure out what the heck the fourth dimension is. 

May 27, 2021
#3431 Sacramento Got Sunshine!

Luke and Andrew arrive at listener Meghan’s front lawn in Sacramento after a night of speed walking many miles through her neighborhood. Plus, never let a cicada pee on your head and tell you it’s raining.

May 26, 2021
#3430 That’s Fortuna, Bro!

Luke and Andrew make it to Humboldt County, where Luke goes on an emotional jog through the streets of his early childhood. Then they crash listener Adam’s house and record a podcast in his driveway.

May 25, 2021
#3429 A Sign Of The Crimes

Luke and Andrew have a critical piece of equipment stolen moments after hitting the road for the big TBTL-a-Thon. But that doesn’t stop them from kicking things off the right way...from a driveway in Corvallis, OR! 

May 24, 2021
#3428 Elon Musty

Luke and Andrew are VERY excited about this year’s TBTL-a-Thon gifts and can’t stop playing with them on the air. Plus, the CDC takes time out of its busy day to tell people to stop kissing chickens. 

May 21, 2021
#3427 Unfrozen Hot Dog Lawyer

Andrew is very anxious as he awaits a VERY IMPORTANT PACKAGE related to next week’s live stream of TBTL. Plus, William Shatner gets an infuriating puff-piece in The Guardian. And another stranger reaches out to Andrew via Instagram looking for a different Andrew Walsh.

May 20, 2021
#3426 The Case Of Luke v. His Feelings

Luke and Andrew learn that some of the 17-year cicadas are high on drugs and literally partying their butts off. 

May 19, 2021
#3425 American Splenda

Luke and Andrew check their anxiety levels as they prepare for next week’s big road trip. Plus, Luke has another epic adventure involving a cup of coffee and a less-than-ideal sugar substitute. 

May 18, 2021
#3424 The Swordsman Of Slander

Luke and Andrew announce their big, weird plans for this year’s TBTL-a-Thon adventure, which kicks-off next week! Plus, everything you thought you knew about the unlikely inventor of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos turns out to be a big, fat lie! *insert unicorn brain explode emoji*

May 17, 2021
#3423 And You Don’t Believe In A Therapist?

Luke and Andrew try to wrap their minds around the new guidelines around wearing (or not wearing) facemasks in public. They also try to wrap their minds around a lot of other things. 

May 14, 2021
#3422 Mega Cremin Coins!

Luke and Andrew stumble on tape of Vin Scully talking about the history of beards during a Dodger’s broadcast, and it is...special. Plus, a woman is in trouble for pulling a Steve Buschemi and pretending to be a high school student, complete with baseball hat and skateboard.

May 13, 2021
#3421 You Can Run But You Can’t Slide

An old scientific theory that humans can only have up to 150 friends is coming under fire, and the original theorist is NOT HAVING IT!

May 12, 2021
#3420 Are You Disrespecting My Hydration Operation?

Luke almost wet his pants in the elevator yesterday. But aside from that, his all-water diet seems to be going great. Plus, it turns out holograms really are the future, and the future is now.

May 11, 2021
#3419 Get Off My Prawn!

Andrew stumbles on a strange coincidence when he decides to dig deep into some random NPR archives. And Luke has a new project that is making him pee constantly. Also, congrats to all of us for not getting hit by space debris this weekend!

May 10, 2021
#3418 Et Tu, Shapiro?

One of Luke’s most famous NPR stories is celebrated by the network during their 50th anniversary celebration...only the folks at NPR left one important detail out. Andrew wants to sue. Oh, and a Japanese town spends its COVID relief money on a giant squid statue, and a little kid accidentally orders $2700 worth of Spongebob popsicles from Amazon.

May 07, 2021
#3417 Oh, How The Blurs Has Turned!

Luke is forced to celebrate “Cinco de Luko”, whether he wants to or not. Plus, a trend piece about forgoing showers during the pandemic gives Andrew a lot to think -- and gripe -- about.

May 06, 2021
#3416 Nothing Gold Can Sag

Luke and Andrew are charmed by a Will Smith Instagram post, until Andrew ruins it with more information. Plus, they FINALLY celebrate the 50 year and 2 day anniversary of NPR.

May 05, 2021
#3415 Good Boy Gets A Good Bell

Andrew is secretly googling Luke’s dinner reservations in rural Oregon, which comes as a surprise to Luke and the listeners, who tuned in to hear the guys’ thoughts on NPR turning 50 years and one day.

May 04, 2021
#3414 Goodbye Yellow Brark Road

Andrew discovered who he really is after the doctors sedated him for his hand surgery on Friday. And a fascinating explainer about the science of candles leads Luke to realize he’s got some minor beef with an Elton John song.

May 03, 2021
#3413: Alice In Chainsaws

Andrew comes up with an experiment to see if Instagram is listening in on his conversations. Meanwhile Luke debuts a new character, "Rodney Dangerfield Talking About His Roomba."

Apr 30, 2021
#3412 Wint Wint

Luke and Andrew celebrate some of their favorite weirdos on Twitter and some of their favorite TV teachers (Otis Drexell, we’re looking at you.) Plus, a researcher discovered some of the oldest water in the world, and it doesn’t smell very good.

Apr 29, 2021
#3411 Prickling My Pears

Luke realizes he might have paid over a thousand dollars for some Costco scallops. And he learned that on Ed Balls Day, of all days.

Apr 28, 2021
#3410 Cannes Do Attitude

Andrew gets some not-so-great news about his broken finger, but he and Luke get some good news about the “chihuahua from hell” who was looking for a home. Plus, Luke responds to fans who insist he release “The Burbank Cut” of his decade-old documentary film.  

Apr 27, 2021
#3409 Coffee Is For Glenn Closers

Luke offers a long-awaited apology to David Blaine. Also, Glenn Close’s Oscar Night moment was great...but the media should probably acknowledge that it was scripted, right?

Apr 26, 2021
#3408 Honey I Shrunk The Capo

Luke and Andrew pay tribute to Shock G of the Digital Underground, and Luke realizes that the sequel to Goodfellas has been hiding in plain sight.

Apr 23, 2021
#3407 The Windemere Beneath My Wings

Luke and Andrew ponder the future of paying for goods and services with their palm prints, and they bid a fond farewell to humor...which they just killed many times over.

Apr 22, 2021
#3406 Wild Hogs Can’t Be Broken

Luke and Andrew grow one step closer to merging into one single person after Luke sends out a confusing tweet. And the Washington Football Team floats some new possible names, most of which sound like John Travolta films.

Apr 21, 2021
#3405 Andrew’s Bad Trip

Andrew spent yesterday trying not to pass out on the bus with a broken finger. Meanwhile, Luke is frustrated that his recent haircut took only 2 minutes. 

Apr 20, 2021
#3404 Now Voles I Can Get Into!

Luke and Andrew discuss the bobcat video that went viral last week and Bobcat Goldthwait’s suspicious silence on the matter. Plus, scientists unveil the whitest paint ever created, and Luke relives one of the worst days in personal watercraft history.

Apr 19, 2021
#3403 The Balding Bassassin

Luke and Andrew play a game intended to put people to sleep. 

Apr 16, 2021