The Look & Sound of Leadership
By Essential Communications - Tom Henschel
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Description
| Episode | Date |
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The Conflict Conversation
1153
What’s helpful to say when you’re in an argument? How can you prepare to have an argument? This month’s coaching conversation dives deeper into the topic of “Conflict” which began last month. This episode has scripts and concepts for mastering The Conflict Conversation. We’ve created another PDF to support your leadership development. It’s a feedback model detailing actions and intentions for you. If you’re serious about your leadership, you have to be serious about mastering the art of feedback. Grab this Essential Tool and dig in. It’s waiting for you in our Tools bin.
Related episodes you might listen to are: #27 Repairing Damaged Relationships
Thanks this month, and every month, to those of you who post reviews. We are so grateful for your support and kind words. If you have a question about your career and how coaching might help, be in touch with us here. Until next month, stay healthy and be well. Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. |
Aug 04, 2022 |
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Conflict
1128
Conflict is inevitable, but most of us were never taught skills to help us find our way through the dark corridors of this house called “Conflict.” This month’s coaching conversation illuminates predictable patterns and practical tools to navigate successfully through Conflict House. If you’re looking to develop your executive presence, our latest PDF is for you. It talks about the four factors every executive needs to be effective. It’s free. You can find it in our Tools bin. Help yourself. This month’s episode is tagged in the Podcast Library under
27 Repairing Damaged Relationships
Tom references the book “Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most” by Stone, Patton and Heen, from the Harvard Negotiation Project. As always, thanks to the folks who post reviews. We are so grateful for your support and kind words. If you have a question about your career and how coaching might help, be in touch with us here. Until next month, stay healthy and be well. Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.
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Jul 07, 2022 |
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Holding Boundaries
1252
A leader, often reticent to speak up on her own behalf, learns tools to help her ask for what she wants without worrying she’ll incite a battle. This month we’ve created another free PDF for you in our Tools bin. This one is to help you use video playback to achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership. This month’s episode is tagged in the Podcast Library in these three categories: Related episodes you might listen to are: 86 Intimacy in Business: Setting Boundaries We send gratitude to the people posting reviews. Thank you for your support and kind words. If you have a question about your career and how coaching might help, be in touch with us here. Until next month, stay healthy and be well. Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. |
Jun 09, 2022 |
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How to Set Boundaries
1408
Kindness is killing a leader’s ability to set and hold effective boundaries. She works with her coach to find her voice and along the way discovers an empowering image about boundaries. We’ve put lots of free PDFs in our Tools bin to help you achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership. This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Five related episodes you might listen to are: 216 7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks 210 How to Grow Your Self-Management Much gratitude to the folks who post reviews. We appreciate your support you’re your kind words. Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here. Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. |
May 05, 2022 |
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Two Paths to Flow
1172
A worried leader seeks help finding balance between going with the flow and giving himself a larger voice. Visit our Tools bin for free PDFs to help you achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership. This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Five related episodes you might listen to are: 59 Focus in the Face of Distractions 30Self-Knowledge as Leadership Tom also talked about two books in this episode: “Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience”by Mihaly Csikszentmlhalyi “The Trust Advisor”by David Maister, et al Thanks to everyone who posts reviews, and thanks so much for your kind words! Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here. Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. |
Apr 07, 2022 |
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How Leaders Can ‘Play Better Poker’
1131
A missed promotion prompts a leader to complain to her CEO. The CEO responds by getting her a coach, which results in explorations of authenticity, self-awareness and self-management. Visit our Tools bin for free PDFs to help you achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership. This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Perception - How You Perceive Yourself Perception - How You’re Perceived Seven related episodes you might listen to are: #103 – Self-Awareness & Self-Management #85 – Stop Giving Away Your Secrets #51 – When Learning Makes Things Worse Thanks to everyone who posts reviews. And thank you so much for your kind words! Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here. Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. |
Mar 03, 2022 |
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7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks
1003
A leader, ashamed of hurtful words she spoke to a colleague, explores what happened with her coach. She learns seven techniques for keeping herself from future emotional hijacks. Download a free PDF about the seven steps to help you stop emotional hijacks here. This episode is tagged in five categories in the Podcast Library:
Seven related episodes you might listen to are: #109 Building Emotional Intelligence #74 Dealing with Emotional Responses #103 Self-Awareness & Self-Management Post a review and help us cross the 1,000 review mark! As we hurtle into 2022, all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership wish you a wonderful year of health, growth, and curiosity. Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. |
Feb 03, 2022 |
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How To Stay Calm Under Fire
1199
A leader is given a presentation coach and two goals: ‘tell a better story’ and ‘be more responsive in the moment.’ This episode is the coaching conversation about the second goal: be responsive in the moment. This episode is tagged in four categories in the Podcast Library: Six related episodes you might listen to are: #214 How to Turn Data Into Stories #160Prepping Like a TED Talker #161Performing Like a TED Talker Join us this month for two free mini-courses facilitated by Susan Smalley: Listen to Tom’s interview on The Remarkable Coach podcast where he and host Michael Pacheco talked about Tom’s 30 years of coaching. Post a review and help us cross the 1,000 review mark! All of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership wish you a safe, healthy year of growth and curiosity. Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. |
Jan 06, 2022 |
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How To Turn Data into Stories
1227
A leader is given a presentation coach and two goals: ‘tell a better story’ and ‘be more responsive in the moment.’ This episode is the coaching conversation about telling a better story. There are four tools in the episode: 1. Grab our list of questions [please link to the PDF] 2. Build a puzzle for your listeners 3. Create a hero in jeopardy 4. Work with a partner – cautiously! This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Five related episodes you might listen to are: 3 Stories – The Ultimate Persuaders 56 What Compelling Speakers Share 160 Prepping Like a TED Talker In January, free mini-courses resume. Check out these two learning opportunities: As we approach the threshold of a new year, I wish you curiosity and growth. Thanks for all the support! See you in the new year! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. |
Dec 02, 2021 |
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How to Re-engage a Team
1474
Worried that working remotely has disconnected her team, a leader asks her coach for help and learns a powerful tool. Being able to lead your team in growth exercises is a critical leadership skill. This episode is full of tips and guidance for strengthening that muscle. Tom strongly endorses the Liberating Structures website. Lots of amazing free resources there. He also recommends a conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching for Leaders about “How to Lead an Offsite.” This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Five related episodes you might listen to are: 143 – Power Tools for Teams: Plus/Delta In January, free mini-courses will resume. Check out these two learning opportunities:
Gratitude also, as always, to those who reach out to us and to those who post reviews. Thank you so much! Be in touch here. From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well. Stay healthy and safe.
See you next month! |
Nov 04, 2021 |
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How To Coach Your People
1363
A no-nonsense leader is asked to add coaching to her list of duties. She turns to the coach who’d coached her for a quick immersion course. Coaching your people requires a shift in thinking and a specific set of behaviors. These ideas are captured in a PDF about the GROW model. It’s available to you for free here. This month we are offering three free mini-courses. Come join us! Demystifying Workplace Conflict Understanding Yourself and Others (DiSC) Get 15% off your registration with either of these courses by using the coupon code PODCAST at checkout. Offer applies to your first registration. The Look & Sound of Leadership Get 50% off our flagship course with the coupon code LEADERSHIP at checkout! During the episode, Tom and Laurel mentioned Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes are High. A great skill-building resource. This episode lives in three categories in the Podcast Library: Perception – How you Perceive Others Five related episodes you might listen to are: 91 – Facilitating Open Dialogue You can explore more ideas about coaching your people on Dave Stachowiak’s Coaching For Leaders podcast. Episode 190: How to Improve Your Coaching Skills. Tom raved about Dave’s conversation with Connson Locke. That’s on Coaching for Leadership, Episode 546: How to Speak Up. Catch Tom answering coaching questions on the Unlocking Leadership – Ask the Coaches podcast. Gratitude, as always, to those who reach out to us and to those who post reviews. Thanks! From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be healthy and safe.
See you next month! |
Oct 07, 2021 |
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How To Show Up
1463
Frustrated at not showing up the way she wants to, a leader, in conversation with her coach, explores ways to integrate her values into her behavior.
Three books to build muscle around how you show up. The PDF “Six Books for Growth” is available here. Or email Tom and he’ll send it to you. |
Sep 02, 2021 |
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How To Grow Your Self-Management
1344
In this episode, a leader feels she lacks courage. She engages her coach in a conversation about how to use self-awareness and self-management as tools to help her become a little bolder. The self-talk scripts discussed in this episode, plus the four-box process Tom described, are available to you in a PDF. You can request it in an email to Tom here or you can download the PDF here. Other resources mentioned in this episode: Last month’s episode connects (like Pop Beads!) to this episode: How to Build Self-Awareness E.Q. Applied by Justin Bariso – a helpful, friendly book chock-full of exercises. Nathaniel Branden’s work on self-esteem – profound thoughts and powerful prompts. Dan Harris’s podcast 10% Happier Meet our fabulous facilitators and browse our catalogue of courses.
Dare to Lead – free mini-course and full course Career Wellness – free mini-course Get 15% off your first course with the promo code: PODCAST This episode is in the library under four filters: Five specific episodes you might listen to are: 162. Acting on the Corporate Stage 109. Building Emotional Intelligence Plus a bonus episode: 103. Self-Awareness & Self-Management Much gratitude to those of you who reach out to us and those who post reviews. Thank you! From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be healthy and safe. Thanks for listening. See you next month! |
Aug 05, 2021 |
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How To Build Self-Awareness
1578
Self-awareness, like any muscle, can be built through discipline.In this episode, a leader learns two exercises to help build awareness of her thoughts and feelings. The two exercises discussed in this episode are detailed in a PDF that we’d love to send you. Send us an email and we’ll send back the PDF. The PDF also contains the Feeling Words Grid. Other resources mentioned in this episode: E.Q. Applied by Justin Bariso – a helpful, friendly book chock-full of exercises. Sort the episode library using the filter Feedback. Good feedback will build your self-awareness, for sure! Five episodes to listen to: #103 Self-Awareness & Self-Management #109 Building Emotional Intelligence Gratitude to those who are in touch and who post reviews. From the entire team at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well. And thanks for listening. See you next month! |
Jul 01, 2021 |
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The Democratic Leader
1300
A new leader worries about having to become a dictator in order to meet her goals. She and her coach explore the challenges inherent in trying to be a truly democratic leader. Core concepts in this episode:
The Essential Communications website has many free resources for you. The entire archive of episodes going back more than a decade is free and available to you. Categories in the archive related to this episode are: Related episodes are: How Teams Fight If you’d like to be a tester for the new Essential Communications website, shoot Tom an email. In this episode, Tom mentioned: A progressive elementary school in Van Nuys, CA. The school is Children’s Community School. Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office by Lois Frankel Dare to Lead by Brené Brown Tom’s conversation with Ben Ritter on “The Live for Yourself Revolution.” COACHES! Join Tom at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by the Los Angeles Chapter of ICF. Non-members pay $10 to attend. This month’s topic: Team & Group Coaching.
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Jun 03, 2021 |
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Tough Conversations
1533
A leader, initially described to his coach as clueless, confronts a hard truth about himself. In the process, he gains a four-step tool to guide him through tough conversations. Core Concepts in this episode: 2. Express intention. Say why you’re having the conversation and what your concerns are. 3. Be clear. Be simple. Identify what you wish were different specifically. 4. Attend to the relationship. At every step, even in the conversation, consider the other person.
Related Tips & Episodes:
The library of all the past episodes is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks to all of you who are in touch and who post reviews. Much gratitude! See you next month! |
May 06, 2021 |
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Understanding Feedback
1642
This month’s coaching conversation explores ways to make feedback more palatable. The secret: sort the feedback you receive into three distinct categories. Many ideas in this episode and last month’s episode are explained more fully in the book: ‘Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well – even when it is off base, unfair, poorly delivered and, frankly, you’re not in the mood.’” Related episodes are: Unblocking Feedback (from last month) In the archive, this Tip is tagged in three categories
Coaching For Leaders: Episode 518 Fidelis Leadership Podcast: Episode 37 Ultimate Leadership Podcast: 02/08/21
Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: See you next month! From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!
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Apr 01, 2021 |
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Unblocking Feedback
1325
This month’s coaching conversation follows a client as he works to shrink his blind spot through feedback. He and Tom discuss lowering the barriers that stop us all from taking in feedback. In the episode Tom mentions “Thanks for the Feedback” by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen. Tom also mentioned the PDF showing The Johari Window.
Related episodes are: Perception – How You Perceive Yourself
Five related episodes you might listen to are:
The full archive of episodes is at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: See you next month! From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks! |
Mar 04, 2021 |
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Blind Spots
1670
This month’s coaching conversation features a leader too talented to lose but too troublesome to keep. Tom talks with him about blind spots and how he might reduce his. PDFs for you: Win an hour of free coaching with Tom. Complete our survey. The full archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Related Archive Categories: Personal Growth & Self-Development
Self-Awareness & Self-Management
Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks for completing the survey. We’re excited to share the new website we’re building for you. Thanks again for posting reviews! Stay positive. Test negative. See you next month! |
Feb 04, 2021 |
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The Show Must Go On
1049
In this special episode, Tom tells a story of being onstage one night in front of a packed theatre audience when the show most definitely did NOT go on. He also shares the lesson he learned from that calamity — a lesson he has subsequently shared with the hundreds of leaders he’s coached who need confidence as presenters. The archive of all the past episodes is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/
Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/
Be in touch with Tom at:
From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — enjoy! |
Jan 22, 2021 |
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The Executive Executive
1643
This month’s coaching conversation is between Tom and Courtney, another executive coach. What traits, they wonder, do effective executives share? If rising leaders wanted to reverse engineer what it means to be executives, what would they put in the mix? The five qualities Tom and Courtney identify are: Resilience -- get over hurts and setbacks Influence – build a natural reserve of strong relationships Organization – create lead-time and eliminate fire drills Scope – maintain the highest altitude possible; resist the weeds Speed of Thought – exert alertness and be mentally nimble
At the end of this month’s commentary, Tom lists six books, each one different, but all leading towards personal growth and professional development. They are… Change Your Questions, Change Your Life Crucial Conversations or Difficult Conversations
Want a free PDF of these titles, including who might prefer which? Click here and put “6 Books” in the subject line. We’ll send you the PDF.
Want to win an hour of free coaching with Tom? Complete this short survey to be entered in a drawing. https://essentialcomm.com/survey/
To dig deeper into your own development, search the episode archive using these filters: |
Jan 14, 2021 |
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The Rising Executive
1163
This month’s coaching conversation features a newly promoted leader. He and Tom explore the tools needed to build a strong team quickly. Lots of links this month! At one point in the episode, Rafael mentions his impostor syndrome. For tools about impostor syndrome, check out: In the commentary, I mention two books: This is the field guide that will show you how to work with your team. Other related episodes are: Your Team’s Best Interests – Part One Your Team’s Best Interests – Part Two There are three filters in the archive that relate to this episode: The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: As I celebrate the end of this distressing year and look towards a brighter 2021, you are all in my thoughts. See you next month! From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks! |
Dec 10, 2020 |
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Two dates & a gift — A bonus episode!
263
Two dates: Complete four questions to be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom https://essentialcomm.com/survey Thursday, December 3, 2020 Registration closes for “Leveraging Your Strengths and the Strengths of Others.” After decades delivering courses for our corporate clients, we finally created a course for you. Register at: https://essentialcomm.com/disc The gift is a 60-second practice to help you be strong and resilient. Take care of yourselves! From everyone at “The Look & Sound of Leadership” |
Nov 20, 2020 |
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Style Conversations
1499
This month’s coaching conversation is about creating a script called ‘Style.’ The script helps make difficult conversations easier. Complete this month’s four-question survey and be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom. Sign-up for a small-group, highly interactive Zoom course about the DiSC Behavioral Self-Assessment. This course is available to the first 12 people who sign up: If the sign-up is closed when you go to the page, put your name on the wait list. Maybe we’ll have more than one session! Related episodes this month include: Capitalizing on Differences in Style (this one is all about DiSC styles!) Stay safe, everyone. Sane, too! See you next month. The Look & Sound of Leadership team |
Nov 05, 2020 |
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Personal Connections
1431
This month’s coaching conversation follows a leader who worries that he’s not very adept when it comes to creating personal connections. He and Tom explore two skills and one mindset that will help ease his way. Related episodes:
In the archive, this episode is tagged in three categories
Help us build a better website for you. Complete our survey at: The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: Thanks, everyone! From all of us at “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks! |
Oct 01, 2020 |
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Psychological Safety
1544
This month’s coaching conversation explores how leaders can foster psychological safety. Teams high in both safety and accountability enter a “Learning Zone” where high performance follows naturally. In this month’s conversation, Tom and his client mentioned “The Checklist Manifesto” by Atul Gawande. His proposition is a great formula for creating psychological safety. Related episodes are: “Don’t Take Anything Personally”
Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: PLEASE COMPLETE OUR SURVEY You’ll be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom! Your input will help us build a better website for you. From the whole team at “The Look & Sound of Leadership” — thanks! See you next month! |
Sep 03, 2020 |
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Giving Upward Feedback
1254
This month’s coaching conversation explores whether feedback should be given upwards in the first place. If so, are there ways to deliver upward feedback effectively? In the commentary, Tom tells a story about the famous Marshmallow Test being debunked. Here's the column he mentions:
Related episodes are: The Disruptive Executive – Part One
The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: See you next month! |
Aug 06, 2020 |
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Learnings From Video
1307
This month’s coaching conversation follows a client exploring a surprising use for video, plus a game of imagination. The Marshmallow Test is explained in “Self-Awareness & Self-Management” Core Concepts in this episode: Some people are highly agitated these days. Their agitation is not about you. Don’t take it personally. You might find yourself more annoyed than normal. Don’t act on it.
RELATED ARCHIVE CATEGORIES
“Don’t Take Anything Personally” Leadership Behavior in Meetings
Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks this month to all of you who post reviews. See you next month! |
Jul 09, 2020 |
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The Intentional Leader
1116
This month’s coaching conversation wrestles with the obstacles that arise when you try listening to people who think out loud – often at great length! This month’s coaching conversation is wide-ranging. It includes a leader’s story about being buoyed by her team. She and Tom also swap answers to a favorite question of her team’s: “How’re ya coping?” They then explore managing stress through being present and intentional. Three questions to help you become present: What am I doing right now? What feelings am I having right now? What is happening in my body right now? Approach these questions with curiosity. Don’t ask with an intention to fix. The intention is just to notice. You can explore self-management and self-awareness in the archive using the filters: Personal Growth & Self-Development You can take a deeper dive with these five episodes: Self-Awareness & Self-Management The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Until next month, wishing you health and safety! |
Jun 04, 2020 |
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Connecting Over Video
1129
SHOWNOTES: Four essentials to attend to on video:
From Tom to you: These difficult times can create a lot of fear. An antidote is to be curious. Curiosity is at the very heart of coaching. If I can help in anyway, let me know. Go to https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ and let me know what would be helpful.
Five related episodes are:
Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/
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May 07, 2020 |
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Branding Yourself
1350
This month’s coaching conversation explores how to project your personal brand into the workplace. When done well it can seem like a Jedi mind trick – but it’s really just personal branding. Here are the five links Tom mentioned in the episode.
4 Ways to Improve Video Meetings
“That Discomfort You’re Feeling…” https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief
https://www.icfla.org/event/executive-coaching-sig/
Core Concepts in this episode: > Find language to help you talk about yourself > Talking about yourself is not a bad thing > Find words that spark an image of the brand you want to be. Think of them as often as you can. Related Archive Categories: Perception – How You’re Perceived
The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks everyone. Stay safe. Stay Home! Do it for the First Team! See you next month! |
Apr 02, 2020 |
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Pursuing A Promotion 2020
778
This month’s coaching conversation is with a high-performer who was passed over for a promotion. Together, she and Tom identify tools to make sure she doesn’t get passed over again. Core Concepts in this episode: > Click out. Think from a higher altitude. Give yourself the promotion. > Networking is not evil. But have intention. Be a good detective.
Related Tips & Episodes: The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks this month to Paul Ison and George Avelino. You guys are the best. And thanks to all of you who are in touch and who post reviews. So much thanks! See you next month! |
Mar 05, 2020 |
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Coaching Under Attack
1149
This month’s coaching conversation isn’t so much a conversation as a fencing match. A newly installed president grills Tom about the coaching he’s been delivering at her company for years. There are two different strands you might follow from this episode. One is about coaching. You might listen to these episodes: Another strand you might follow is about self-management. Episodes on that strand would be: You could also search the archive using the filters: The archive is at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: From all of us, thanks! See you next month! |
Feb 06, 2020 |
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Thinking Errors
1316
This month’s coaching conversation examines phrases we use that lead us into self-deception. Tom and his client explore why thinking errors so often remain invisible and, once revealed, what other words might be possible substitutions. SHOW NOTES: “How To Raise Your Self-Esteem” by Nathaniel Branden “The Four Agreement” by Don Miguel Ruiz Related Tips & Episodes
This Tip is in five categories in the archive:
The archive is at: Get the HTML transcript: Be in touch with Tom at: From all of us, thanks! See you next month! |
Jan 09, 2020 |
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Don’t Take Anything Personally
1139
This month’s coaching conversation wrestles with the eternal struggle to depersonalize the events in our lives that feel so personal. Is it even possible to actualize the adage, “Don’t take it personally?” Tom mentions two books that can help you manage yourself so you don’t take things personally:
In the archive, this Tip is in five categories: Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Perception – How You Perceive Others Personal Growth & Self-Development Five related Coaching Tips you can listen to are Lots to browse through!
The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Get the HTML transcript: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom: https://essentialcomm.com/contact From everyone at “The Look & Sound of Leadership,” thanks! See you next month! |
Dec 05, 2019 |
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Boundaries
1064
This month’s coaching conversation explores how hard it can be to say ‘no’ sometimes. Together, Tom and his client come up with four strategies for setting better boundaries.This month’s coaching conversation explores how hard it can be to say ‘no’ sometimes. Together, Tom and his client come up with four strategies for setting better boundaries.
This Tip is in four categories in the archive:
The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Get the HTML transcript: Be in touch with Tom: See you next month! |
Nov 14, 2019 |
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Agreeable Disagreement
1076
This month’s coaching conversation follows an executive’s journey from a bulldozer, rolling over people and their ideas, to a thoughtful seeker of ways to get his ideas heard while also building positive relationships. Related episodes are: This Tip is in four categories in the archive: The archive is at: Get the HTML transcript: Be in touch with Tom at: From all of us, thanks! See you next month! |
Oct 10, 2019 |
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Video Feedback & Executive Presence
1044
This month’s coaching conversation centers on learning how to watch yourself on video. It might be uncomfortable at times, but the benefits are enormous. During the commentary, Tom talks about a checklist for you. It’s here. direct link: https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/Video-Review-Checklist.pdf Related episodes are
Executive Presence
Get the HTML transcript: Tom is at: From all of us here, thanks! See you next month!
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Sep 05, 2019 |
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The Talky Executive
1010
This month’s coaching conversation wrestles with the obstacles that arise when you try listening to people who think out loud – often at great length! Related episodes are: In the archive, this Tip is tagged in four categories The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: See you next month! From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks! |
Aug 08, 2019 |
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The Focused Executive
1048
This month’s coaching conversation focuses on a leader who finds herself in a storm of heavy seas. To help her find calm, Tom shares a technique from his past. You can grab the PDF that Tom mentions in this episode at: In the archive, this episode is tagged in four categories: Related episodes are: The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is at: Subscribe to the HTML version and get transcripts of each month’s episode at: Be in touch with Tom at: Thanks, all! See you next month! "The Look & Sound of Leadership" team |
Jul 11, 2019 |
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Fighting Authority
988
This month’s coaching conversation revolves around a former client’s direct report who is caught up in old wiring which is short-circuiting his effectiveness. This episode is tagged in six categories. Something of a record! Here are eight, yes, eight related episodes. The archive is at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: Thanks for your iTunes reviews!!! |
Jun 06, 2019 |
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Ask The Coaches - Readers' Letters
1585
This month’s coaching conversation is between Tom Henschel and Mindy Danna who answer questions from our audience. Tom and Mindy have grown up together professionally. He runs Essential Communications where Mindy is a coach. She also works with the cutting-edge global consulting firm Cultivating Leadership. During the episode, Mindy mentions two books: Five related episodes are: In the archive, this episode is tagged in four categories: The archive is at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: Thanks for your reviews and ratings! |
May 02, 2019 |
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Inviting Dialogue
1010
This months’ coaching conversation is with a leader who genuinely wants open dialogue with his direct reports but finds he may have been unintentionally limiting his conversations. In the archive, this episode is tagged in four categories:
Six related episodes are:
https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/
Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/
Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/
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Apr 11, 2019 |
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Becoming Expert
1098
This month’s coaching conversation focuses on a leader striving to become “more visible.” She and Tom imagine raising her presence by giving her a way to speak about herself as an expert without feeling like she’s bragging. A challenging needle to thread! If you want help on this topic, Tom mentioned a resource he strongly recommends In the archive, this episode is tagged in four categories: Five related episodes are: The archive is at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: |
Mar 07, 2019 |
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Managing Former Peers
1069
Internal promotions can be mixed blessings. Managing former peers has the potential to upset everyone. This month’s coaching conversation explores ways to handle this live grenade with aplomb. Two books mentioned during the commentary: Lots of related episodes mentioned: Relating to the issue of managing people who are upset: Deep gratitude to those who post reviews. Thanks! Browse the entire archive at: Be in touch with us at: |
Feb 07, 2019 |
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Executive Presence - Three Pillars
1074
This month’s coaching conversation explores the three pillars of executive presence. In this episode's commentary, Tom mentions research about Executive Presence conducted by the Center for Talent Innovation. The key findings are available at: Three episodes grew directly from ideas in that white paper: The Executive Coaching Tips archive has a filter for "Executive Presence." It's at: Four additional episodes you might listen to are: Browse the entire archive at: Be in touch with us at: |
Jan 10, 2019 |
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Ask The Coaches - Readers’ Letters
1625
This month’s coaching conversation is between Tom Henschel and Mindy Danna who answer questions from our audience. Tom and Mindy have grown up together professionally. He runs Essential Communications where Mindy is a coach. She also works with the cutting-edge global consulting firm Cultivating Leadership. Tips related to the questions and answers in this episode are:
Tom mentions: Every episode is available at: Be in touch with us at: |
Dec 13, 2018 |
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The Executive Impostor
1084
This month’s coaching conversation explores that insidious feeling of being an impostor. Research tells us that the vast majority us experience this to some degree at one time or another. Here are ways to combat impostor syndrome. The two psychology professors mentioned in the episode were Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes at Georgia State University. The TED Talk is: Related Categories in the podcast archive: Related episodes are: Browse the archive at: |
Nov 08, 2018 |
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Leading Offsites
1126
A senior leader wants to give one of his direct reports the experience of leading her own offsite. This month’s coaching conversation is about how a leader can foster an offsite with the power to create change. AN INVITATION: Send us questions for our upcoming Q&A episodes! Send your questions to info@essentialcomm.com In the episode, there are many resources to help you learn to lead activities with your team. The six mentioned in the show are: Five episodes to help you build your team leadership skills: Don't forget to send us your questions! |
Oct 04, 2018 |
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Animating Your Persona
1160
A coaching client needs to exude more presence. Tom proposes a visualization process and walks another coach through it. In the archive, this episode is tagged in three categories: Five related episodes are: Plus, if you want to hear about why our brains find visualization so powerful, listen to: Five listeners posted reviews in iTunes this month. Thanks go out to: Every episode is available in the archive at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: |
Sep 06, 2018 |
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Managing Bad Behavior
1068
This month’s coaching conversation focuses on a feedback technique that can help manage bad behavior. The coachee likes the technique so much, he wants to try it on his high performers, too! Related episodes: Discussing Difficult Behaviors Every episode is available in the archive at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: To everyone who has ever posted a review for the show in iTunes -- THANK YOU! If you haven't yet, please do. Our survival depends on it. Thanks! |
Aug 09, 2018 |
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Managing Trauma
1414
This month’s coaching conversation focuses on developing someone who may be a trauma survivor. A team leader’s compassionate caution may not be in the survivor’s best interest. Related episodes: Every episode is available in the archive at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: Thank you so much for your reviews. It's hard to convey how meaningful those are. You help keep the podcast alive when you post a review. Thanks! |
Jul 12, 2018 |
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Taming the Wild Child
1043
This month’s coaching conversation features a high-performing client who sometimes wrestles with her fear. Knowing that her fear can diminish her, she seeks a way out. Tom also talks about the new course "Improv for Leaders” taught by improv master Jeremy Rowley. Related epsidoes this month: Every episode is available in the archive at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: And thank you so very much for your reviews. Your contribution is beyond measure when you take a moment to post a review. Thank you! |
Jun 07, 2018 |
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Readiness in Coaching
1454
Why do some coaching engagements achieve positive transformations while others get stuck in the starting gate? This month’s coaching conversation explores who’s coachable, who isn’t, and why. The PDF discussed during this episode can be downloaded at: https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/ReadinessInCoaching.pdf https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/whos-coachable/ Aside from the “Who’s Coachable?” episode, four other episodes that echo the motifs in this month's Executive Coaching Tip are: Managing Disruptive Executives Managing Performance: Up or Out Every episode is available at: Be in touch with us at: |
May 03, 2018 |
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360s: Weapons or Tools?
1269
360-degree feedback can be intense. Or confusing. Like many reports, it often needs explaining, even if the information is familiar. This month’s coaching conversation explores the many sides of 360s. Curious to learn more about 360s? Listen to Tom's interview on "Coaching for Leaders." https://coachingforleaders.com/podcast/341/ Want to learn more about quantative 360-degree feedback reports? Contact Envisia Learning. envisialearning.com Want to learn about qualitative 360-degree feedback reports? Contact us. info@esssentialcomm.com Want to see a sample of a qualitative feedback report? Every episode is available at: Be in touch with us at: |
Apr 05, 2018 |
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Influence
1239
Who wouldn’t benefit from heftier influence? This month’s coaching conversation digs into two ways to build your influence bank account. During this month's episode, Tom talks about a behavioral self-assessment called DiSC. See a sample DiSC report here: https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/AlexBradley.pdf If you're looking for more Executive Coaching Tips about influence, check the archive filter:
Tom explained a five-point Influence model on "The Everyday Innovator" podcast with Chad McAllister. Episode #162. Five "Look & Sound of Leadership" episodes relating to this month's conversation are: A Breakdown of Listening What sort of problems would you like to hear about on the podcast? Write me: |
Mar 08, 2018 |
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The Sound of Leadership and of Management
1195
Some ways of speaking lend themselves to more effective management. And some ways of speaking lend themselves to more effective leadership. This episodes explores those differences. |
Feb 01, 2018 |
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Leadership versus Management
1173
Are leadership and management really different? And does it matter? This month’s coaching conversation explores what separates leadership from management. And what connects them. And why it matters for you and the people you lead.Are leadership and management really different? And does it matter? This month’s coaching conversation explores what separates leadership from management. And what connects them. And why it matters for you and the people you lead. If you're interested in related episodes, you can search the archive under "Leadership" and/or "Management Skills." Those are at:https://essentialcomm.com/tag/leadership/ and https://essentialcomm.com/tag/management-skills/
Leadership behaviors:
Management actions:
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Jan 11, 2018 |
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The Conflict Conversation
1099
What do you say when you’re in an argument? And how can you prepare to have an argument? This month’s coaching conversation dives deeper into the topic of “Conflict” that began last month. In this installment, scripts and concepts for mastering The Conflict Conversation. To sharpen your skills, read "Difficult Conversations" by Stone, Patton & Heen from the Harvard Negotiation Project. It's very friendly and very powerful. Every episode is available at: Be in touch with us at: |
Dec 07, 2017 |
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Conflict
1037
Conflict is inevitable. But most of us were never taught the skills that would help us find our way through the dark corridors of this house called ‘Conflict.’ This month’s coaching conversation illuminates predictable patterns and practical tools to navigate successfully through Conflict House. The book Tom references in this episode: "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most" by Stone, Patton & Heen. Related episodes this month are: In the Tips archive is a category called "Relationship Building." Many episodes there have useful tools, too. Help yourself. |
Nov 02, 2017 |
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Dynamic One-on-ones
1267
There are a million ways to conduct one-on-one meetings with direct reports. How you run yours will reflect your personal style. This month’s coaching conversation focuses on specific best practices that will enhance your one-on-ones no matter what your style. In the commentary portion of this month's episode is a question for you. Share your thoughts in an email to: info@essentialcomm.com You can sharpen your management skills with the Executive Coaching Tips in the "Management Skills" category of the archive:
These five episodes may be particularly helpful in developing your management skills: And, if you are going to be giving performance reviews this fall, this episode has helpful tools for you. Give it a listen: Every episode is available at: Be in touch with us at: |
Oct 05, 2017 |
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Acting on the Corporate Stage
1405
This month's episode introduces "Acting on the Corporate Stage." That phrase was Tom's original branding phrase, before "The Look & Sound of Leadership" became his branding phrase. "Acting on the Corporate Stage" aims at helping you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived, which, of course, is the reason d'etre of every episode. Also this month, Tom shares reflections on attending his first-ever podcaster's convention. And his reflections are all about YOU! He also points you to two very different interviews on other podcasts: The Everyday Innovator with Chad McAllister, episode 137. He and Chad deconstruct the "Sorting & Labeling" tool. Very helpful! Fatherhood 360 with David Wissore, episode 11. While exploring how parenthood influences leadership, Tom reveals some very personal stories. The four related episodes this month are: The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is at: |
Sep 07, 2017 |
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Performing Like a TED Talker
995
Delivering a top-notch presentation requires you to master your ideas. Of course! But even more, you need to master yourself. Your audience won’t be able to lock onto you unless you are “in focus.” This month’s coaching conversation shows you how to get “in focus.” Related episodes are: Talking Like a TED Talker All Presentation Skills Tips are available at: A PDF summary of Chris Anderson's book, "TED Talks" is |
Aug 03, 2017 |
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Prepping Like A TED Talker
1041
Preparing a presentation raises many questions. How much are you going to rehearse? What will you actually do during your rehearsal? Are you going to memorize your talk? This month’s coaching conversation covers all that and more. Four core concepts this month:
In the archive is a whole set of Tips about “self talk.” It’s at: There’s another set about “presentation skills.” That’s at: Many different Executive Coaching Tips are referenced in this episode. Four related episodes are: The entire archive of Tips is at: |
Jul 13, 2017 |
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Short Sounds Confident
1027
Holding each other’s attention is a constant challenge. But you can’t achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership if you can’t keep people listening to you. This month’s coaching conversation emphasizes three little slogans to make sure you aren’t driving your listeners away from you. All three slogans are just three words long: “Short sounds confident.” And “Communication takes effort.” And “Stop talking sooner.” There are so many reasons why embodying those slogans is hard. And, in truth, it’s easier for some people than for others. But everyone can get at least a little better at this. This month’s podcast will give you lots of practical tips – and some metaphors!—to help get you there. Past Tips are available at: Be in touch with us at: We love hearing from you. |
Jun 01, 2017 |
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Readers’ Letters — Bonus Episode 2
944
Tom exchanges emails with two listeners. One exchange addresses issues of personal boundaries in the workplace; the other addresses scarcity and abundance. This Bonus Episode is only the second one in the 9-year history of "The Look & Sound of Leadership." If you like this and want more, tell us. Contact us through the homepage at: Or by email at: The prior bonus episode -- with two other email exchanges -- is titled "Readers' Letters." It was posted in May, 2016. Find it in your feed. It’s not available on our website. (We’re working on that!) |
May 23, 2017 |
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Talking Like a TED Talker
1112
TED Talkers turn us into engrossed detectives, absorbed in solving the mysteries unfolding before us. But TED Talking doesn’t have to be saved for special events. This month’s coaching conversation explores ways to turn everyday presentations into compelling content that will hold people's interest ... like a TED Talk. If you're crafting an actual TED Talk, use Chris Anderson's terrific book: "TED Talks." I have a nifty 3-page reduction of Anderson's book. Reach out to me at info@essentialcomm.com and I'll send it along. Working to improve yourself as a presenter? The Coaching Tips archive are full of related episodes. Go to: essentialcomm.com/podcast and search the topic: "Presentation Skills." |
May 04, 2017 |
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The Voice of Authority
1074
Authority. It’s a slip-sliding sort of thing, isn’t it? Do we get it automatically along with a title? Sometimes. But sometimes not. This month’s coaching conversation examines both the thoughts and the words that give us authority. The ideas in this month's episode echo motifs embedded in many other episodes. Just a few related Executive Coaching Tips are:
Every episode is available at: Be in touch with us at: |
Apr 06, 2017 |
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The Human Element
1037
At work, we often diminish the importance of feelings – our own or those of others. We think, “I don’t have time for that” or “That’s silly.” But feelings don’t disappear just because they’re inconvenient. And, when unacknowledged, their impact can be severe. This month, two coaches discuss the difficulties of managing “the human element.” Related episodes: |
Mar 02, 2017 |
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Self-Limiting Beliefs
951
Self-limiting beliefs hold us back. We limit who we are so we don't shatter those beliefs. This month's coaching conversation serves up several strategies to help you push back against those demons. Along the way, we mention "Leadership and Self-Deception," a great book to help you on your journey. We also touch on the topic of "Coaching versus Therapy," something I've been talking about for years. You can find an epsiode about it in the archive. I also mention an interview I did with Eric Cacciatore on his podcast, "Restaurant Unstoppable" episode 298, in which he and I talk about management and turnover and motivation. It was a blast. Check it out. Related episodes: |
Feb 02, 2017 |
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Inhabiting Executive Presence
1028
Getting to the next level of executive presence usually demands the adoption of new behaviors. This month's episode explores a three-step process that helps new behaviors become habits. Helping you change behavior so you can be perceived the way you want to be perceived is the raison d'être of this podcast. If it's time for you develop more effective behaviors, there is an entire category in “The Look & Sound of Leadership" archive that will accelerate your development. The archive is at: The category, "Developing New Behavior" is at: Five favorite episodes in that category are:
The episode called "Creating New Behaviors" has a PDF that goes along with it. If you'd like it, just ask. I'd love to send it you. Pop me an email at: info@essentialcomm.com |
Jan 12, 2017 |
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Combating Emotional Hijacks
976
When we feel threatened or in danger, an old part of our brains, the one that regulates emotions, hijacks our executive functioning. We say and do things we regret. In the workplace, this can have serious consequences. This month’s Executive Coaching Tip has seven strategies for stopping yourself from getting hijacked. The seven lessons in my conversation with my client, Kimberly, are:
If you want to work on combatting your emotional hijacks. other episodes you can listen to are:
The entire archive is available to you for free at: |
Dec 08, 2016 |
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Under Executive Questioning
890
This episode addresses three issues that arise when you’re facing an executive team. First, what meaning are you making about the event itself? Is that meaning helping you or not helping you? If it’s not helping you, change it. |
Nov 03, 2016 |
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Creating Safety for Hard Talks
1019
You can’t be an effective leader if you are not able to have hard conversations that are successful. “Successful” means addressing tough topics in a way that will create change. One crucial skill to make hard conversations successful is attending to how things are being said. Without an awareness of the ‘how,’ things won’t be as safe as they could be. And if things aren’t safe, they won’t go deep. And if they don’t go deep, they probably won’t stick. Five other episodes that relate to these skills are: If you want to dig even deeper into this topic, two books to read are: “Difficult Conversations” from The Harvard Negotiation Project. The authors are Stone, Patton and Heen. And from the folks at VitalSmarts is “Crucial Conversations.” The authors are Patterson, Grenny, McMillan and Switzler. Both books are great. Lots of scripts. Lots of insights. Lots of tools.
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Oct 06, 2016 |
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How Teams Fight
911
Conflict on teams is a good thing. Really! Well, it's good if it’s healthy. This month, two techniques to help team members engage in healthy conflict: arguing about what's best for the business and turning hostile non-verbals into dialogue. Related episodes to help with these skills are: |
Sep 08, 2016 |
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Taming Meetings
891
Meetings are often viewed as a necessary evil to be endured. But they can be engaging events that build people’s skills and accelerate the work. This month, a recipe for mixing up meeting magic. There is a four-meeting model discussed in this episode. If you want a graphic illustration of the model, just look at the online version in the archive: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ or email me at info@essentialcomm.com Two books are also discussed in this month's episode: Patrick Lencioni's "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team" and "Death By Meeting," both essential reads for team leaders. |
Aug 04, 2016 |
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Conquering Fear
975
Fear is natural but insidious. It can carve caverns in the foundations of our confidence, weakening our capacity. This month, a client learns about three kinds of fear and a transformational question that tames fear.
A seminal book to help master fear is "Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers. At the end of this month's episode, Tom tells a story about the amazing reach of podcasts. |
Jul 07, 2016 |
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Building Empathy
1009
Empathy is a crucial component of The Look & Sound of Leadership. Some people have it naturally, others don’t. In either case, it can be developed and learned. This month's episode has lots of ideas about what empathy is, what it isn't, and how you can develop it. There are lots of resources discussed this month. A book called "The EQ Edge" by Stein and Book. A great 3-minute animation by Brene Brown about sympathy versus empathy. It's on the home page of her website: brenebrown.com. Look for the cartoon of a bear and a fox. Other epsiodes you might listen to are: Building Emotional Intelligence Dealing With Emotional Responses Self-Awareness & Self-Management You also might go to essentialcomm.com, select "Coaching Tips," then search two subjects in the archive : Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development Finally, if you or someone you know is in the middle of a job search, Tom did an interview this month with a wonderful career coach names Alyson Garrido. The interview has lots of helpful tips and tools. You can find it at: LA TalkRadio.com. The show is called "Get Yourself The Job." The show is in their archive for May, 2016. Be good to the people you're leading. And be good to yourself! Until next month, thanks for listening! |
Jun 09, 2016 |
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Readers’ Letters — Bonus Episode
916
A bonus episode! Tom shares email exchanges he had with two podcast listeners. One exchange is about handling people who interrupt presentations. The other is about defining tasks and responsibilities when they're not defined for you. During the podcast, Tom mentions two other episodes that support the ideas here: one episode is “Facilitating Open Dialogue.” The other is “Creating Devoted Followers.” If you’d like more bonus episodes like this one, let Tom know at info@essentialcomm.com. |
May 17, 2016 |
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Personal Histories as Your Brand
925
How you brand yourself sticks with people a long time.Thismonth, a senior executive dreads having to brand himself duringaninterview – until he learns about the PersonalHistoriestechnique. In addition to giving you this simple yet powerful tool tohelpbuild your personal brand, this episode also references abookcalled "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team." Details about this book is at the end of the podcast. ThereIdiscuss that there are actually TWO books about theFiveDysfunctions. They're quite different. Here’s how. "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable" has ajuicystory about a team struggling to succeed. In the back of thebook,the author teaches The Five Dysfunctions and explains atarelatively high level how to overcome them. The tools in thisbook– including an assessment your team can fill out – areuseful. If you’d like to know how to build a high-performing team,thesecond book is even more useful. It’s called, "Overcoming TheFiveDysfunctions of a Team: A Field Guide for Leaders, ManagersandFacilitators." This book has detailed, step-by-step instructionstoguide to and your team to high achievement. |
May 05, 2016 |
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Power Tools for Teams — Plus/Delta
1004
This month, The Look & Sound of Leadership gives you a tool for developing your team. A process that takes only minutes to learn, if practiced regularly, this exercise has far-reaching ripples. Welcome to "The Plus/Delta Tool." Other episodes to help you develop as a leader of teams are: Your Team's Best Interests - Part One |
Apr 07, 2016 |
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The Mindful Executive
1047
From the Harvard Business Review to the New York Times, mindfulness is widely touted as a powerful tool to increase personal effectiveness and well-being. This month’s Executive Coaching Tip explores the “how to” of being mindful with an executive who was already on the path but didn’t know it. This episode shows that mindfulness is neither complex nor mysterious; it just takes practice. More importantly, this episode puts forward the idea that all professional and personal development requires you to be mindful to some degree. If this episode inspires you, there are even more Tips to help support your growth. Go to the Executive Coaching Tips archive and select the category “Personal Growth & Self-Development.” http://essentialcomm.com/tag/personal-growth-self-development/ |
Mar 03, 2016 |
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Coaching Under Attack
966
Coaching is expensive. Coaching is hard to measure. Coaching is too touchy-feely. There are a million arguments against coaching. This month, a tough CEO puts Tom on the defensive about coaching. If you'd like to explore this topic further, here are nine related Tips:
Or you can search the free archive of all ten years' worth of Tips. Use the "Search by Subject" tool to look at the category called "Personal Growth & Self-Development." There are more than 40 Tips in that cateogry to help support your professional development. At the end of this Tip, Tom invites you to become a client. If you're interested in being coached, send him an email at info@essentialcomm.com
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Feb 04, 2016 |
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High-Stakes Meetings
967
The goal of this episode is to give you a three-step process to help you succeed in meetings when you feel there’s a lot at stake. Step one: Clarify the Story. Four other episodes can also help with this step: “Sounding Executive,” “Communicating With Clarity,” “Executive Presenting” and, the mother of all communication tools: “Sorting and Labeling.” Step two: Do Your Homework. This step is different for everyone. Sometimes it means getting information from another department. Sometimes it means researching data. Sometimes it means talking to people who’ve gone before you. Most people seem to know what homework to do; the struggle is finding time. Because we’re busy we think, “Oh, I’ll let the homework slide.” But I promise – doing your homework will make you feel much more confident. That brings us to the final step: Managing Yourself. In this episode I mention several concepts to help you manage yourself that you can find in other episodes. “Assume Equality” is a critical self-management tool. Another, to help manage feeling like a victim, is called “Status.” Another is called “Choosing Stories Over Truth.” This month’s episode is all about preparing for a high-stakes meeting with a tough company president. Next month’s episode will be about what happened when I was finally in the room face-to-face with her. |
Jan 07, 2016 |
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Showing Teeth
905
For many businesses, uncertainty and ambiguity is their new norm. In such anxious times, people long for leaders who will make tough decisions, stand behind those decisions, and protect their people. In some circles, this is called “showing teeth.” In this episode, I refer to The Center for Talent Innovation and their white paper on Executive Presence. I also refer to four related episodes: For more ideas about “Showing Teeth,” you might also check out all the episodes in the Assertiveness category of the Executive Coaching Tips archive. The Executive Coaching Tip that explains “unconscious competence” is Creating New Behaviors. |
Dec 03, 2015 |
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Engagement & Performance
884
Lack of engagement can assume many disguises but there is one outcome that is predictable: poor performance. What would you say if you found out you could get people engaged – and improve performance – with just two questions? Sounds like a miracle, right? That’s what I thought, too. |
Nov 04, 2015 |
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Managing Disruptive Executives
1057
Disruptive executives take many forms—bullies, catastrophizers, resisters, you name it. But no matter what mask they wear, they create upheaval. Whether the disrupter is your boss, your peer or your direct report, coping successfully requires two things: courage and skills. Here’s how to find both. |
Sep 30, 2015 |
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Executive Presenting
997
Presentations are a golden opportunity to display your executive presence. Here are six behaviors that’ll help you command the room and deepen your brand. |
Sep 02, 2015 |
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A Breakdown of Listening
1038
We all think we’re better listeners than we really are. Luckily, we all have the capacity to improve our skills. But not all listening is the same. Here’s a breakdown. |
Aug 05, 2015 |
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In Sync Communications
883
When you’re communicating, you not only need to fly through the intricate patterns of your own information, you need to be sure we can thread that needle along with you. |
Jul 08, 2015 |
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Executive Gender Bias
954
The research is unequivocal: in the workplace, women play on a tilted field. Everyone contributes to work's off-center world -- even women! This episode explores ways to bring the tipping back in balance. |
Jun 10, 2015 |
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The Narcissistic Executive
1076
Narcissistic executives can be infuriating. And, unless you’re one of their favored few, they can be dangerous, too. These five actions will help protect you—and keep you sane. |
May 06, 2015 |
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Coaching Your People
1071
Helping develop your people is a win for everyone. But developing people is quite different from managing people: developing people requires you to be a coach. Here’s how. |
Apr 01, 2015 |
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Status
760
We all assign ourselves a certain status. Of course, that means we assign status to others, too. The question is: do people experience your status as appropriate? Or do you need to dial it up? Or down! |
Mar 04, 2015 |
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Defining Success
706
“I’ll know it when I see it” is a natural thought when starting a new project. Feeling “It’s just not right” is natural when a situation is nagging. But your followers need you to tell them specifically what success looks like. If you don’t tell them, how will they know? |
Feb 05, 2015 |
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Mentoring & Mentors
726
Finding good mentors – and using them wisely – can change your career trajectory. So can being a mentor to others. Here are actions for succeeding in both roles. |
Jan 06, 2015 |
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The Honorable Executive
938
Executives create honor in the workplace not by declarations and speeches. Rather, honor is built in the display of small, consistent behaviors every day. This month’s Tip examines two of those behaviors and one over-arching factor. |
Dec 03, 2014 |
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Managing Performance: Up or Out
1009
Poor performers often linger far too long. Leaders who avoid these performance issues damage their reputations and weaken their teams. Here are five actions to help you manage poor performers up or out. |
Nov 06, 2014 |
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Thinking Errors
898
Thinking errors are tough to spot in yourself because they seem true. Usually we've believed them for a long time. Here are ways to free yourself from thinking errors |
Oct 02, 2014 |
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Pursuing A Promotion
866
We'd all like to be given a promotion merely because it's our turn. But earning a promotion is actually a job in itself. Mastering the four factors described here will accelerate the process. |
Sep 04, 2014 |
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Managing Up
648
We all want bosses who are sensitive to our needs. But savvy players know we need to manage our bosses at least as much as they manage us. |
Aug 06, 2014 |
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Personal Branding
889
Each one of us has a personal brand. Every day we reinforce our brands consciously or unconsciously. The tools in this episode will help you craft your brand with intention. |
Jul 09, 2014 |
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Leading Through Delegation
790
Your ability to execute senior-level work correlates directly to your ability to delegate effectively. The better you are delegation, the higher you can rise. |
Jun 05, 2014 |
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Achieving Authenticity
883
Leaders who are authentic display The Look & Sound of Leadership™. We follow them eagerly. But how to achieve authenticity? Here are five tools. |
Apr 30, 2014 |
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Your Goodwill Bank Account
830
Certain people seem to have unlimited leeway when they make a mistake or miss a deadline while others seem to acquire black marks and penalties for the most minor infractions. This month’s episode explains why. |
Apr 03, 2014 |
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Captivate Your Audience
796
If you don’t grab your audience at the start, it’s tough to win ‘em over later. The two behaviors described here will help you engage your listeners before you’ve said a word. |
Mar 04, 2014 |
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Creating Devoted Followers
814
We all sense the subtle messages we send each other. When those messages have even a whiff of disapproval, your followers may begin to cool. |
Feb 05, 2014 |
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Perception Is Reality
728
Accepting how others see you can be a struggle. Until you can, you may not seem ready for the next step in your career. |
Jan 08, 2014 |
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Taming Email
910
An ongoing series of Executive Coaching Tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived. |
Dec 05, 2013 |
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Speaking Your Truth
813
We all have moments when we don’t speak up because we worry what other people might think. Here’s a way to help you find—and keep!—your voice. 11/07/13 |
Nov 07, 2013 |
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The Generous Executive
640
Choosing to collaborate often feels like inviting an invader to sit down and eat your food. It can be done, but it doesn’t feel natural. And why would you? Where’s the benefit? |
Oct 03, 2013 |
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Gravitas
634
Gravitas is credibility that goes beyond titles or credentials. Without it, you can’t achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership™. This Tip will help you get it and keep it. |
Sep 05, 2013 |
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Soliciting Feedback
685
Without good feedback about yourself, you can’t achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership. But how can you get good feedback about yourself? |
Aug 01, 2013 |
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The High-Maintenance Executive
808
Being “high maintenance” can derail a career. Here are four mistakes people make that get them labeled “high maintenance.” And four actions to help you avoid the high maintenance label. |
Jul 11, 2013 |
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Capitalizing on Differences in Style
714
Our own work style seems completely natural—to us! But what about all those people whose styles are different? What do you do with them? |
Jun 06, 2013 |
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Creating New Behaviors
750
We create impressions, in part, through our behaviors. And changing behaviors can feel overwhelming. This four-stage process makes behavioral change manageable. |
May 02, 2013 |
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Building Emotional Intelligence
834
Companies invest in developing Emotional Intelligence (EQ) because its presence improves performance. EQ has four steps. Here is number one. 04/04/13 |
Apr 04, 2013 |
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Shouldering the Burden of Leadership
680
Every leader casts a long shadow. Casual comments can have huge ripples. Such is the burden of leadership. How well are you shouldering the burden? |
Mar 07, 2013 |
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The Flexible Leader
651
Everyone you manage is at a different stage of their professional and personal development. Are you managing them all the same way? |
Feb 07, 2013 |
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Communicating with Clarity
672
Expert communicators put up signposts so their listeners can follow them easily. Using these “frameworks” can distinguish you as a clear and expert communicator. |
Jan 10, 2013 |
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Upward Feedback
907
Giving upward feedback can be a dicey proposition. The three-step formula in this Executive Coaching Tip will make that potentially dangerous enterprise a whole lot safer. |
Dec 06, 2012 |
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Turn Values into Behavior
629
Companies proudly post their values in their lobbies and on their websites. But values are mere slogans until leaders help people transform those ideas into concrete actions. But that shift can be difficult. Even explosive. |
Nov 01, 2012 |
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Self-Awareness & Self-Management
839
Leaders who are technically gifted leaders are often less gifted when managing their relationships. To avoid derailing—and to have healthy relationships—leaders need the two skills addressed in this month’s podcast. |
Oct 04, 2012 |
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Getting Unstuck
698
It’s usually painfully obvious to us when we’re stuck. What’s frustrating is that we can’t get ourselves unstuck. Here are three practical ways for getting unstuck that are particularly helpful in the workplace. |
Sep 06, 2012 |
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The Well-Balanced Executive
693
This 100th edition of The Look & Sound of Leadership™ discusses the best predictor of an executive’s long-term effectiveness. |
Aug 02, 2012 |
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The Disruptive Executive - Part Two
736
Trying to manage a disrupter is tough work. Managing yourself while managing a disrupter is no easier! These four tools will help you contain yourself during emotional encounters. |
Jul 12, 2012 |
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The Disruptive Executive - Part One
788
Trying to manage disrupters is like getting pummeled by a heavyweight. Here are five tools to help get traction with the disrupters in your life. |
Jun 07, 2012 |
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The Exhausted Executive
847
Many high performers are running on empty. Here are tools to replenish your reserves. |
May 10, 2012 |
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The Distracted Executive
606
Trying to get your message through to a distracted person isn't easy. It takes mental energy, preparation and willingness to repeat yourself. But what happens if YOU are the distracted person? |
Apr 05, 2012 |
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The Many Parts of You
696
Recognizing and managing the many, often contradictory, parts of you is crucial to becoming an authentic leader. |
Mar 08, 2012 |
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Your Team's Best Interests - Part Two
819
Engaged and productive employees believe their boss has their best interest at heart. |
Feb 02, 2012 |
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Your Team's Best Interests - Part One
794
Engaged and productive employees believe their boss has their best interest at heart. |
Jan 12, 2012 |
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Performance Reviews
785
Six lessons for delivering meaningful performance reviews. |
Dec 01, 2011 |
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Leading Teams
779
Five questions your team needs to answer if they're all going to move in the same direction. Plus a four-layer pyramid that needs defining. |
Nov 03, 2011 |
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Facilitating Open Dialogue
728
Tips and techniques for the extremely difficult task of getting people to speak openly in public forums—or in private! |
Oct 06, 2011 |
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Smiling—The Look of Leadership
632
Your smile can be a credibility builder or a credibility killer. How is your smile working for you? |
Sep 01, 2011 |
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Leading Change
691
Navigating the minefield of change is fraught with danger. Here's your road map through change's treacherous terrain. |
Aug 11, 2011 |
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Resolving Conflict
696
Three actions, plus three behaviors, to help warring factions to lay down their arms and get back to work. |
Jul 07, 2011 |
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The Power of PowerPoint
774
PowerPoint can be a blessing but all-too-often is a curse. Here are 8 tips to harness the positive power of PowerPoint. |
Jun 02, 2011 |
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Compelling Openings
675
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May 19, 2011 |
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Intimacy in Business: Setting Boundaries
582
The ability to create a sense of intimacy in the workplace leads to deep and long-lasting trust. And it’s not about being personal. |
May 05, 2011 |
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Recommendations & Resources
685
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Apr 21, 2011 |
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Stop Giving Away Your Secrets
542
Transparency is great in business—except when you tip your hand and reveal thoughts and feelings that are better kept to yourself. |
Apr 07, 2011 |
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Women as Powerful Communicators
435
|
Mar 17, 2011 |
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Making Stories Soar
553
Stories stick with people long after data becomes a blur. |
Mar 03, 2011 |
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Questions as Leadership
497
|
Feb 17, 2011 |
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Leadership and Listening
557
Two listening behaviors that will get different results and foster collaboration. |
Feb 03, 2011 |
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Self-Knowledge as Leadership
427
|
Jan 20, 2011 |
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Building Rapport
508
Rapport is easy when people’s styles match. But when there’s a mismatch, what then? |
Jan 06, 2011 |
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Smoothing Harsh Edges
585
|
Dec 16, 2010 |
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Three Little Phrases with Big Impact
545
Phrases to keep people listening to your data and to get people to comply with your decisions. |
Dec 02, 2010 |
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Getting Growth Acknowledged
398
|
Nov 18, 2010 |
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Compassion During Change
520
When a star performer suddenly declines there’s always a reason. The question is where should you look for the reason? |
Nov 04, 2010 |
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The Look & Sound of Self-Esteem
511
|
Oct 21, 2010 |
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Strategic Apologies
510
Apologies can enhance or damage a relationship. Too few can be as damaging as too many. Here are four apologies—two to emulate, two to avoid. |
Oct 07, 2010 |
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Handling Defensive Behaviors
605
|
Sep 23, 2010 |
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Unmasking a Stand-In
529
Interacting with phantoms from the past is dangerous both personally and professionally. |
Sep 09, 2010 |
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Leadership Behavior in Meetings
541
|
Aug 19, 2010 |
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The Power of Rehearsal
475
Rehearsal doesn’t mean reciting by rote. |
Aug 05, 2010 |
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Repairing Damaged Relationships
340
|
Jul 22, 2010 |
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Three Words You Should Never Say
521
Want to boost your credibility? Stop saying these words. |
Jul 08, 2010 |
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Negative Self-Talk
381
|
Jun 24, 2010 |
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Don't Take It Personally
569
Think that insult was about you? Think again! |
Jun 10, 2010 |
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Eliminating Distractions
404
|
May 20, 2010 |
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Dealing With Emotional Responses
514
Six tips for handling yourself when faced with others’ emotions. |
May 06, 2010 |
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Delivering Tough Feedback
372
|
Apr 15, 2010 |
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Disagree Agreeably
491
How to disagree without being disagreeable. |
Apr 08, 2010 |
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Sounding Executive
363
|
Mar 25, 2010 |
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Getting Agreement
489
Giving instructions without getting agreement is a recipe for disappointment. |
Mar 11, 2010 |
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Accessing Your Best Thinking
365
|
Feb 25, 2010 |
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Act "As If"
571
This fundamental actor’s tool helps you be perceived the way you want to be perceived. |
Feb 11, 2010 |
|
Speaking For Yourself
434
|
Jan 28, 2010 |
|
Assertion Versus Aggression
514
One builds relationships, the other damages them. Are you clear which is which, and why? |
Jan 14, 2010 |
|
Stories -- The Ultimate Persuaders
555
|
Dec 17, 2009 |
|
Leadership and Self-Deception
578
Our self-limiting behaviors are invisible to us but apparent to others. |
Dec 03, 2009 |
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Managing Your Strengths
349
|
Nov 19, 2009 |
|
Answering Essay Questions
658
Avoid a long-winded ramble with this three-step model |
Nov 05, 2009 |
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Creating Clarity
644
|
Oct 22, 2009 |
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"I Hate Politics!"
650
Hating politics puts you out of the game that’s being played around you. |
Oct 08, 2009 |
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Getting Good Feedback
392
|
Sep 24, 2009 |
|
Networking
485
A crucial skill even if you’re in your job for life—which you’re not! |
Sep 10, 2009 |
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Your Workplace as Calling Card
277
|
Aug 20, 2009 |
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Sorting and Labeling
802
The communication tool that will set you above the rest. |
Aug 06, 2009 |
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Holding People Accountable
342
|
Jul 23, 2009 |
|
I Talk Too Fast!
653
What happens in our brains when we hear someone talk “too fast.” |
Jul 09, 2009 |
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How Behaviors Change
381
|
Jun 25, 2009 |
|
Positive Opposites
491
Dichotomies are great learning tools—when they’re framed positively. |
Jun 11, 2009 |
|
Listen Without An Agenda
416
|
May 28, 2009 |
|
Choosing Persistence
379
Two stories to fuel persistence in the face of frustrations. |
May 14, 2009 |
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Playback as Feedback
292
|
Apr 30, 2009 |
|
A Difficult Conversation
514
Discussing touchy, even explosive, subjects. |
Apr 16, 2009 |
|
Sounding Well-Spoken
329
|
Apr 02, 2009 |
|
Be Impeccable With Your Word
398
Hold yourself accountable for what comes out of your mouth. |
Mar 19, 2009 |
|
Speed of Thought
346
|
Mar 05, 2009 |
|
Focus in the Face of Distractions
349
Results are important and so is how they’re achieved. |
Feb 19, 2009 |
|
Giving Powerful Feedback
342
|
Feb 05, 2009 |
|
Elevator Speeches
428
Create crisp executive summaries of everyday topics. |
Jan 22, 2009 |
|
Messaging During Hard Times
386
A time-tested formula for communicating in difficult times. |
Dec 11, 2008 |
|
Becoming More Expressive
374
|
Dec 04, 2008 |
|
What Compelling Speakers Share
623
Two qualities that will keep your listeners listening. |
Nov 20, 2008 |
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Being Concise
312
|
Nov 13, 2008 |
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Handling Feedback Effectively
438
|
Nov 06, 2008 |
|
Managing Beyond Bad Behavior
407
“Repeated Headlines” can rein in ongoing bad behavior. |
Oct 30, 2008 |
|
Assume Equality
346
|
Oct 23, 2008 |
|
Act with Intention
335
|
Oct 16, 2008 |
|
Project The Image You Want
368
Manage how you’re perceived in the workplace. |
Oct 09, 2008 |
|
The Art of Chat
410
|
Oct 02, 2008 |
|
Choosing Stories Over "Truth"
330
|
Sep 25, 2008 |
|
Answer What's Asked
451
How to sound executive when answering questions. |
Sep 18, 2008 |
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Driving Your Message Home
346
|
Sep 11, 2008 |
|
Owning Miscommunications
330
|
Sep 04, 2008 |
|
Coaching Versus Therapy
443
Determining what coaching is and what it isn’t. |
Aug 28, 2008 |
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Keeping Repeated Material Fresh
344
|
Aug 21, 2008 |
|
Managing Your Boss
315
|
Aug 14, 2008 |
|
When Learning Makes Things Worse
365
Integrating new behaviors may actually send you backwards. |
Aug 07, 2008 |
|
Building Trust
369
|
Jul 31, 2008 |
|
Staying on Track
287
|
Jul 24, 2008 |
|
Who's Coachable?
382
Can your direct reports be coached to achieve their potential? Can you? |
Jul 17, 2008 |
|
Remembering Names
254
|
Jul 10, 2008 |
|
Managing Nervousness
251
|
Jul 03, 2008 |
|
Creating Charisma
404
Turn up your heat from a gentle simmer to a rolling boil. |
Jun 26, 2008 |
|
Lead With Your Heart
295
|
Jun 19, 2008 |
|
Choose the Impression You Make
208
|
Jun 12, 2008 |
|
Ask for What You Want
431
Give yourself permission to ask without apology or fear. |
Jun 06, 2008 |
|
Discussing Difficult Behaviors
419
|
May 15, 2008 |
|
Leading With Your Heart
295
|
Jan 26, 2006 |