Don't Mom Alone Podcast

By Heather MacFadyen

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Description

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, connects you the listener with people and resources to help you feel less alone. Consider it an invitation to "withness".

Episode Date
Winning Together as Co-laborers :: Heather [Ep 367]
38:23
Mommy Wars. They may have started out as “working mom” v. “stay at home mom” but it has morphed (or devolved) into something much bigger.

While, in the eyes of our culture, “you do you” might have freed us to make different choices than another mom, has it drawn us together and given us the support we need?

Parenting is so difficult and Ecclesiastes reminds us that toiling away alone is tantamount to trying to catch smoke. What we need instead are co-laborers. We need other moms to come alongside us, not because we agree on everything, but because we have a common goal - the flourishing of the next generation. 

We need to come alongside other moms because when we pit ourselves against one another due to differences in parenting styles, we cut off our nose to spite our collective face. Join Heather this week as she challenges us to look introspectively and grow in conflict resolution in light of Ecclesiastes 4. 

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May 16, 2022
God’s Hand Over Everything  :: Tori Hope Petersen [Ep 366]
47:11

God ordains the time and space we inhabit - sometimes that’s one home for decades, sometimes it’s 12 homes in 6 years and instant homelessness at age 18. It was the latter for Tori Petersen and for so many other children in the foster care system. Tori has accomplished a lot since then - 5 time State Champion in track and field, a book releasing August 30th, and even a Mrs. Universe 2022 title. But if you asked her how she got here, she would say it was because someone loved and served the “least of these.” (Matthew 25:40)

She was the least of these. She experienced extreme difficulty while in foster care, but looking back she sees God’s fatherly hand guiding her all along the way, loving her through the words and actions of her track coach, and now working through her and her husband to others as they model loving and serving the “least of these” for their own kids. Tori tells her compelling story in her new book, Fostered: One Woman’s Powerful Story of Finding Faith and Family Through Foster Care, which releases August 30, 2022. 

Connect with Tori Petersen: 

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May 09, 2022
The Lazy Genius Kitchen :: Kendra Adachi [Ep 365]
53:23

The kitchen. It can be a place of glorious delight or it can be a place of burnt despair. Whether it’s mostly delight or mostly disaster for you, it’s often a place of frustration. Everyone is hungry and needs something all the time or everyone is refusing to eat; there isn’t enough space or you feel like a pinball trying to get people what they need. 

Enter Kendra Adachi, aka The Lazy Genius. She’s here to help you be a genius at what matters and lazy about what doesn’t and she’s at it again, this time in the kitchen. She gives you permission, she helps you analyze and streamline, but most importantly she’s offering you a middle ground - the space between perfection and hot-mess, where you can love your people well with those important moments at the table but not be overwhelmed with how to get there. (Spoiler alert: we can apply these principles to the rest of our lives too!) 

Kendra is a wife, mom, and author. Her latest book, The Lazy Genius Kitchen: Have What You Need, Use What You Have, and Enjoy it Like Never Before releases May 3, 2022. 

Connect with Kendra Adachi: 

 

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May 02, 2022
The Power of Pausing:: Kirsten Watson [Ep 364]
41:35

Pausing to not miss out on what God is teaching/leading. Pausing before we intervene on our kids’ behalf. 

Do you remember commercial breaks? They were built-in pauses, breaks from the drama or sitcom. With DVR’s or streaming services we can easily skip or minimize the pauses. But what if “pause” is what your everyday really needs? Not a week-long, pick your favorite vacation spot pause, but a quick moment to stop and say, “God, where are you leading? What are you saying?” or “Help me today because I don’t have what it takes to make it through the day.”  

Kirsten Watson is a busy woman - a wife, a mom to seven, an author and podcast host - but all those responsibilities only lead her to pause more. Whether it’s in the moments just after her alarm goes off, or in the middle of after-school stories, she challenges us to slow down and first ask God for the help we need, and then to see where he is at work. She encourages us to practice discernment for what is most helpful in our kids’ sanctification - either stepping in or stepping back. She invites us to tap into the power of the Holy Spirit available to us if we will only ask.

 Kirsten’s book, Sis, Take a Breath: Encouragement for the Woman Who’s Trying to Live and Love Well (but Secretly Just Wants to Take a Nap), releases May 3, 2022.  

Connect with Kirsten Watson: 

 

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Apr 25, 2022
Gentle Christ-Centered Parenting :: David and Amanda Erickson [Ep 363]
54:49

“Peaceful” and “parenting” aren’t words we usually put together. Think about the parenting moments that stick out to you from the last week – was there anything peaceful about them? What if there could be? What would it change for you if parenting didn’t feel like moving from one fight to another? My guests this week, Dr David and Amanda Erickson of Flourishing Homes and Families, encourage us that it IS possible. Peace and grace can be meaningful parts of your parenting – not only for your kids, but for you. The gospel always brings freedom.

Gentle Christ-Centered Parenting will not only change the dynamic of your house, but it will set your kids up for success in the hardest parts of life – responding with grace when someone hurts them, learning to hold boundaries and communicate their needs in a way that still respects the dignity and honor of the person who hurts them or crosses those boundaries and how to collaboratively problem solve. Ultimately, there is no better place for them to see reliance on the Holy Spirit’s work in life than through us fighting against sin by his power in our own lives. David and Amanda have fostered children and are raising two biological kids. They too have had to work against the patterns of their own childhoods to transform their parenting. 

Connect with David and Amanda Erickson: 

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Apr 18, 2022
Walking Through Seasons of Unbelonging :: Shauna Niequist [Ep 362]
47:25

We all walk through seasons of transition, whether we leave something behind by choice or it was chosen for us. Life after a disruptive event or during life transitions can feel like “starting over” just as much as a move clear across the country. You may be asking the question, “who am I here?” even in familiar places and routines. Author Shauna Niequist encourages us in what to hold on to and what to let go of, through seasons of loss. 

She equips us with three tools for the journey - curiosity, self-compassion, and courage. We discuss how prayer can tenderize an angry heart, and Shauna shares how hanging on to writing and hospitality, even when they felt like impossible disciplines, helped her journey forward through grief and change.

Shauna Niequist is a wife, mom, and author to numerous books including, Present Over Perfect, Cold Tangerines, and Bread and Wine. Her new book, I Guess I Haven’t Learned that Yet, releases on April 12, 2022

 

Connect with Shauna Niequist: 

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Featured Sponsors: 

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Apr 11, 2022
Mom, You Are Important but Not Essential, and That’s Good News :: Brittany Turner [Ep 361]
35:45
As moms we do carry a big burden – we have a God-give responsibility to love and care for our children, but how often do you feel crushed under that burden? It’s hard to do all the tasks to take care of everyone – especially if you’re measuring yourself by how many meltdowns (your kids or yours) did or didn’t happen this week. What if that responsibility came with the freedom to not hold it all together? What if there were someone more loving and more powerful than you to shape all the details of life for the good of everyone involved? This week, Brittany Turner encourages us that the same God we trust to take all the hard in our lives and turn it into good is God for our kids too! We can rest in his capabilities and invite others into our lives to help carry the load. You do not have to mom alone! 

Brittany Turner is a wife, mom of four, speaker, and writer who loves to help people take what they say they believe and put it into practice in their everyday lives. 

 Connect with Brittany Turner: 

 

Links Mentioned:  

 

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Apr 04, 2022
Creating Digital Safe Spaces :: Chris McKenna [Ep 360]
52:30

Does keeping your kids safe on the internet ever feel like a game of Whack-a-mole - frenzied and unending, always trying to fend off the threats that pop up? Or maybe you’ve been afraid your kids would be or feel left out if you had more limits on their screens? You’ve seen the documentaries and the research of how addictive social media can be and the average age in which kids are exposed to pornography keeps going down and yet, we know on some level what we forbid our kids to do has the potential to become the only thing they want. Families around you probably have a wide range of tech norms in their households. Kids relentlessly request screen time. Honestly, sometimes we long for the quiet of a kid mesmerized by a screen. 

What’s a mom to do? 

Enter this week’s guest, Chris McKenna, dad of four and founder of Protect Young Eyes, an organization devoted to helping parents create safe digital spaces for their kids. Chris encourages us that while there are real things our kids need protecting from on the internet, there are real ways we can foster digital trust and create safe digital spaces for our kids. Chris helps us understand that rather than a controller, our kids want a coach - someone to teach them how to use technology in ways that honor God, themselves, and others. 

 

Connect with Chris McKenna & Protect Young Eyes: 



Links Mentioned:  

  •  Birds and Bees - Mary Flo Ridley - tools for talking to your kids about sex

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Mar 28, 2022
How to Help a Friend Process Life [Ep 359]
46:49

How do you respond when a difficult situation comes your way? One that feels out of the blue, or that doesn’t have a clear solution, or all the solutions you’ve tried haven’t worked? 

In this birthday episode (Happy Birthday Heather!) join Heather and DMA team member, Stephanie Snow, as they talk through what it looks like to process through all those thoughts that circle around our brains as we deal with the difficult stuff of life. We talk about not only how to sort out your own thoughts, but how to come alongside friends, family, and even your children to listen well and ask good questions. 

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Mar 21, 2022
Mentoring with Lisa Bevere [Ep 358]
56:11

Have you ever wished for a fairy godmother? Someone to wave a wand and make your troubles disappear? The next best thing just might be a real godmother - a woman to see you in your distress and to offer help and encouragement. What’s hard for you in this season of motherhood? Your reactions to your kids? Seeing how your kids react to one another? Maybe you need to break free from life centering around your kids. 

In this mentoring episode we take a proverbial walk with author and speaker Lisa Bevere through anger, growth, idolatry, guilt and hope in the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives and sibling rivalry. Her most recent book, Godmothers: Why You Need One. How to Be One encourages women to live with and for one another and to ask for help from those who have gone before you - which she graciously does with us in this episode! Lisa and her husband John raised four boys and she has written numerous books on womanhood, identity, anger, and much more. 

Connect with Lisa Bevere: 

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Mar 14, 2022
Recovering from Mom Burnout :: Nicole Zasowski [Ep 357]
50:02

Every mom will experience burnout. It’s as simple as our energy output exceeds our energy input, but it can be debilitating and discouraging. You may wish for a vacation, or spa day or even just 15 minutes of silence, but what if those typical self-care strategies are out of your reach? Where can you find rest when it seems like your circumstances just don’t allow for any? 

“You may find that if someone pours water all over you, you are damp and distracted, but not cured of your sadness, the way a fire department can douse a fire but never recover what has been burnt down.” —Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning

This week we talk with Nicole Zasowski, a mom of three, therapist, and author of the new book, What if it’s Wonderful? Through her own life journey that has included deep sorrow and deep joy, Nicole encourages us to fight burnout with regular rhythms of celebration. No, not another party for you to plan, she’s not looking to douse water on burned-out you, but to help you recover joy that has been lost.  She gives you an invitation to look at the good God is doing all around you, in every season. 

Connect with Nicole Zasowski: 

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Mar 07, 2022
Equipping Your Kids for Difficulty :: Kim Sorgius [Ep 356]
58:44
What happens when you’ve had a Proverbs life - following the rules and making the right choices -  but then you wake up to find yourself living in Ecclesiastes where life is painful and doesn’t quite make sense? It’s easy for us to think we can do and achieve - that if we just get the right formula we’ll unlock an easy life replete with God’s blessings and perfect family photos.  Through her own story of God’s provision through heartache and uncertain circumstances, Kim Sorgius encourages us to lean in and really know the Lord in difficult times. Not just to know about him, not to search his word for what the plan is, but to search it for Him. She wants our paradigm to shift and for us to embrace that “the beauty of life isn’t found in perfect circumstances…[but] in faith.” 

Kim has a deep desire for us to both experience and pass that sturdy faith onto our children. Born from the difficulty (and faithfulness) of single motherhood is her blog and online store, Not Consumed, where she has created Bible studies and products to help you engage the scripture with your kids. Join us to hear Kim’s incredible story and to be encouraged as you work to share your faith in meaningful ways. 

Connect with Kim Sorgius: 

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Feb 28, 2022
Church Hurts, Healed by the Church :: Angel Ricchuiti [Ep 355]
52:04

Think of 9 women you know. Statistics says that 1 of those women was sexually abused as a child. This week, Angel Ricchuiti bravely tells us her story of sexual abuse within the church. She gives us hope that God heals, restores and is near to us through the body of Christ and skilled professionals. You will hear practical ways to listen well and come alongside a friend who suffered trauma as you are graciously invited into her story. And, you will be encouraged to think about the process of uprooting fears and walking in freedom caused by hurts. Be informed and empowered toward empathy and compassion whether trauma or abuse is a part of your story or not. 

 Angel is a wife, mother of four, as well as a trained counselor. 

WARNING: This episode contains references to child sexual abuse within the church. We know Angel’s story may be especially hard for some, as it may stir up very real feelings. Please be encouraged, Angel’s story is full of hope and healing, too. While this episode might not be good for little ears, it is a story that will equip you and help you walk in more freedom.

Connect with Angel Ricchuiti: 

Links Mentioned:  

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Featured Sponsors: 

  • StichFix: Get started today by filling out your free style quiz at StitchFix.com/DMA and take advantage of free shipping and returns.
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Resources for Sexual Abuse Recovery and Prevention:

Books for Kids:

Books for Survivors:

People to Follow:

Books Recs & Questions to Ask Your Local Church Leadership:

  • On Guard – Preventing and Responding to Child Abuse at Church, by Deepak Reju
  • We Too – Mary E. Demuth
  • Who knows about/ keeps track of convicted sex offenders in our congregation? 
  • Who monitors their coming and going on our campus? 
  • Who on staff is responsible to check in with their probation officers and confirm the reason for their status on the sex offenders list and recommendations they have for securing safety?
  • What is the safety plan for these individuals? What is included & who supervises this plan?
  • How often does the supervisor meet with this perpetrator or other known perpetrators AND fact check the information they provide? 
  • Is he or other known perpetrators chaperoned while on campus?
  • Do we have an official document which discloses how we as a church body agree to handle this particular issue?
Feb 21, 2022
Be Vulnerable, Find Your People :: Jennie Allen [Ep 354]
55:51

Friendship isn’t something we are taught in school. We sort of fumble our way through the trial and error of how to make and keep friends.  Add in our culture of independence, where it can be hard to admit we need others, and lots of times it feels easier to just stay home and binge watch seasons of Friends rather than try to find some real life ones. In this episode, author and speaker Jennie Allen acknowledges that friendship is full of risk, riddled with awkwardness and yet completely worth it. Through her own journey of finding a core group of friends in a new city, she challenges us to enter into the awkward places to build the friendships we long to have.  Jennie Allen is a wife, mom, author, and speaker. She deeply believes God created us for relationship - first with him and then with others. Her newest book, Find Your People, is a tool-kit, a guide, an encouragement, and an honest look at why we really do need a village, and how we cultivate it in our lives.  

Connect with Jennie Allen: 

 

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Feb 14, 2022
Extending an Invitation :: Trillia Newbell [Ep 353]
54:02

Let’s have some “real talk” and think about our faith in action when it comes to our neighbors, even when they are different. This conversation will help you think about being more open and welcoming and train your children to do the same.

Our guest this week, author Trillia Newbell, encourages us in the message of James chapter two - love for others that doesn’t show favoritism to those who look or think or act like us. Her book, The Big Wide Welcome, illustrates how the love of Christ sees and welcomes others for who they are and how we should do the same. Trillia is a wife, mom, author, and speaker whose writings address and encourage our faith, our families, and the culture around us

 Connect with Trillia Newbell: 

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Feb 07, 2022
Consistency in Bible Study :: Katie Orr [Ep 352]
50:37

In a world of increasing chaos, we crave certainty. We “know” the answer lies in some good disciplines like daily time with God. How can you step into a habit of studying God’s Word with consistency and success, even when your daily rhythms are upside down?

Let’s turn Bible study from a “should do” into a vibrant, life-giving way to get the Word into your heart. Our guest this week, Bible teacher Katie Orr, will encourage you in practical and approachable ways so that you can open God’s Word and be fed.

We talk through the stops on Katie’s “Bible Study Boulevard” - an assessment you can take on her website to help you figure out just where you are on your Bible study journey. Identifying your “stop” can help you adopt methods you can use right where you are, right now to connect with God and know Him more. Her online community at www.biblestudyhub.com is a place where women can connect and receive training, encouragement, and accountability to enjoy God’s word. She is even offering Don’t Mom Alone listeners a special on her 5 Days to Better Bible Study Course to jump start your study! 

Connect with Katie: 

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Featured Sponsors: 

  • Athena Club: Show your skin you care with the Athena Club Razor Kit! Sign up today and you’ll get 20% off your first order! Go to Athenaclub.com and use the promo code dma.
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Jan 31, 2022
Understand Your Developing Teen :: Dr. Nell Bush [Ep 351]
01:02:05

The preteen/teen years are a time of immense change and growth that often come with difficulty between mother and child. As the mom of a teen you may find yourself confused or frustrated with your child’s new behavior and attitudes. (The thought of those years is enough to fill elementary-kid moms with dread!)  Come and listen as we shed light on the confusion of these transitional years that will help us both prepare for and thrive during this crucial developmental stage.

In this episode Child Development Specialist, Dr. Nell Bush, explains to us the four pillars of preteen/teen development.  Dr. Bush co-authored The Parenting Survival Guide, a practical handbook for parents addressing common child rearing concerns. Having four children of her own, she understands teen development on a theoretical and practical level.

Nell encourages us that if we can understand what’s going on socially, emotionally, mentally, and physically with our preteens/teens we can respond with compassion and adapt our parenting strategies to fit their needs. She also covers aspects of development from why teens sleep so much to why they seem to love and hate us almost simultaneously. Draw hope for the present or wisdom for the future as you sit in (or do the dishes, or drive the kids all over) on Heather and Nell’s conversation. 

Connect with Dr. Nell Bush: 

  • Email:   nell.f.bush@gmail.com

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors:

 

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Jan 24, 2022
Friendship is Hard :: Amy Weatherly and Jess Johnston [Ep 350]
58:38

We’ll just say it - friendship as an adult is hard. It’s hard to find friends, to keep friends, and to be a good friend amidst all the hustle and bustle of motherhood. And motherhood can be an extremely lonely place. On this episode, Amy Weatherly and Jess Johnston, founders of Sister I am With You, share the good, the bad, and the awkward of making friends as a mom. They guide us through their own story of friendship (and encourage us to get out there and start the work of friendship) with candor and humor.  They talk about some pitfalls of making friends and share tips on how to be a good friend. 

Their book, I’ll be There, (But I’ll be Wearing Sweatpants), releases January 25, 2022. 

Connect with Amy and Jess: 

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  • Prep Dish–Free 2 week trial to try PrepDish. Check out prepdish.com/dma for this amazing deal. 
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  • Indeed–Start hiring right now with a $75 job credit to upgrade your job post at Indeed.com/DMA. Offer valid through March 31st

Jan 17, 2022
Sunday Planning :: Retha Nichole [Ep 349]
58:22

Do you ever feel like you wake up Monday and the week is already running away from you? Overwhelm is a common feeling among moms and in this episode Retha Nichole shares the system she created that helped create margin in her own life. 

As a working mom to three boys, and at times a single mom, her Sunday Planning routine and portioning out her “plate” has helped her take care of herself and her people well.

Sunday Planning looks different in the different seasons of life. As a mom of two  littles I thought of the five things that would help me the MOST. That is still what I do as my children have grown up and can do most of these things on their own.”

Retha walks us through measuring our own capacity and how to craft your own Sunday Planning routine. Her website offers several products ready to make the most of your Sunday Planning efforts. 

Connect with Retha: 

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Featured Sponsors: 

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Jan 10, 2022
Honoring Others :: Rachael Wade [Ep 348]
53:47

As we enter the holiday season, it’s easy to get swept up in the tasks and external pressures that crowd our days… coordinating family events, planning the food, buying and wrapping gifts. With so much to do, it can be easy to adopt a Grinch-like personality or to just be a bit snappy with people who enter our lives. 

My guest Rachael R Wade is here to help our hearts grow three times larger by practicing giving honor to those around us. It’s a simple act of kindness that can be very powerful.

“No one gets tired of hearing encouragement or being honored. And it's just calling out what God has put in others. Just taking the time to notice them and saying something kind. That little piece of encouragement could be the difference for if they decide to continue on in a dream or how they parent their kids. There's a lot of weight to our words.”

Whether it’s showing honor to our kids and extended family or the clerk at the next store you enter, I invite you to pour out God’s love to a hurting world and use your words to heal. Rachael shares a lot of ideas for honoring others and how coming alongside and holding space for those around us is a catalyst for God’s kingdom here on earth. 

Connect with Rachael R Wade: 

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors: 

 

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Nov 29, 2021
Parenting in the Power of the Holy Spirit :: Jeannie Cunnion [Ep 347]
53:11

Jeannie Cunnion is back on the show with a powerful message that reminds us that we are NEVER ALONE. As believers we always have the Holy Spirit with us and Jeannie shares how to deepen your understanding of the Holy Spirit and come to know Him as an intimate friend and companion.

Not only that, but the Holy Spirit gives us power for the daily grind and holy work of motherhood. She shares about how He is faithfully at work, making the gospel irresistible to our kids and the freedom that comes from not having to do the Holy Spirit’s job for our kids. 

“I think that there's a freedom and a frustration that comes with the Holy Spirit. There's freedom because it's like I can not do the Holy Spirit's job. He is going to be the one who sparks their faith, sustains their faith, strengthens them, sanctifies them. That is all his job. But that can also be frustrating because we want to be able to produce that fruit in their life to spare them from the consequences and the pain of sin. I have to remind myself that God loves my kids infinitely more than I ever could imagine and that he longs for them to live in the fullness of his grace and mercy, even more than I do.” 

If you are longing to experience the freedom that comes from resting in the Holy Spirit instead of your own strength, this is the episode for you! Jeannie shares more in-depth on this subject in her new Bible study available for pre-orders now, Never Alone - Bible Study Book: Parenting in the Power of the Holy Spirit.

Connect with Jeannie Cunnion: 

Links Mentioned:  

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Nov 22, 2021
Embracing Your Power in Marriage :: Dr. Juli Slattery [Ep 346]
47:23

Many women feel lost in their marriages. They don't know what to do with their disappointment, when to ask for help, or what it looks like to let go of the need to control. But God has given women incredible power in marriage and Dr. Juli Slattery is here to help us learn how to use it.

Dr. Slattery joins me to discuss key points from her bestselling book Finding the Hero in Your Husband and about how what we believe about our husbands can make all the difference in the intimacy, connection and health of our marriages.  

“There are going to be issues in every marriage that have to be addressed, but it's the relational equity that we build through how we treat our husbands that gives us the power to confront things when they really need to be addressed. And when your husband has come to rely so much on your intimacy and companionship, then the fact that you have a concern really gets his attention because he doesn't want to lose you.”

We talk about being emotionally safe for our husbands, stopping the cycle of disappointment and nagging in our marriages, and taking another look at intimacy as a sexual journey to go on with our husbands. It’s. So. GOOD. 

If you are in need of a boost of hope and excitement to help you re-engage in your marriage, this episode is for you!

Connect with Dr. Juli Slattery: 

Links Mentioned:  

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Nov 15, 2021
Sober-Minded Living :: Jenn Kautsch [Ep 345]
51:18

Jenn Kautsch is an empty nester mom and a retired "grey area" drinker. She takes us into her story of feeling tired, stuck on auto-pilot, and ready for a change when it comes to her relationship with alcohol. 

Through her own journey of seeking God about her casual drinking habit that was becoming a toxic mental battle, Jenn stopped asking if her drinking was “bad” for her and reframed it.

“So I turned it around and I started asking myself the question, Jenn, is it good enough? Is your drinking good enough for you? Is your relationship with drinking, helping you become the best version of yourself? Is it taking you where you really want to go? Is it matching up to your outsides being like your insights or are you walking around with duplicity in a divided mind and a mental tug of war?”

After choosing to embrace a sober lifestyle, Jenn started SoberSis,  a like-minded community of women who are renegotiating their relationship with alcohol without labels, shame, judgment or rules.

We talk about how God brought her freedom from what felt like a divided life -- constantly feeling in conflict and stuck in an internal tug-of-war so she could live a more wholehearted life. And how she’s now been able to connect with close to 20,000 women from all over the world through her SoberSis community of women.

Connect with Jenn: 

Links Mentioned:  

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Nov 08, 2021
When You Don't Know What to Pray :: Kayla Craig [Ep 344]
42:41

As Kayla Craig sat in the hospital watching her daughter have a machine breath for her, she struggled to find the words to pray. In that difficult time in her family’s life, she learned about the power of liturgies which are scripted prayers from scripture. The more she turned to these powerful prayers prayed by Christians from all over the world, the less alone Kayla felt. 

Years later, Kayla has created a book with modern liturgies for parents with more than 100 prayers to voice when words are hard to find.

“The book of prayers that I have created are just simply prayers that you can borrow, prayers that can become your own. The prayers of another can comfort us and can lift our arms up and we can't lift our arms up. If you don't have the words to pray, take mine.”

From everyday struggles like helping your child find friends or thrive in school to larger issues like praying for a brighter world rooted in peace and truth, these pleas and petitions act as a gentle guide, reminding us that while our words may fail, God never does.

Stay tuned for about 20 minutes in when Kayla prays a powerful prayer over all of us weary parents! I think you are going to love learning more about liturgies and breath prayers from Kayla. I hope this is just one more tool in your prayer tool belt -- we certainly need all we can get!

 

Connect with Kayla: 

Links Mentioned:  

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Nov 01, 2021
Your Unique Color Palette and Authentic Style :: Karen Blanc [Ep 343]
49:04

Motherhood can be a time of self-forgetfulness. We pour into our kids, partners, careers and can lose ourselves in the process. One way I’ve rediscovered who God made me to be is learning about my unique color palette and authentic style. 

In this week’s episode I chat with House of Colour Consultant, Karen Blanc. She teaches us a bit about color theory based on the work of Johannes Itten. And how based on our natural coloring, each of us harmonize best with either warm or cool colors, then either bright or muted. 

“I love to give people permission to embrace something that's very near and dear to them, God's gift to you: your color palette.”

We also spend some time talking about the process of discovering your authentic style based on your body architecture and personality. With some combination of styles from the basic six: dramatic, classic, natural, gamine, ingenue or romantic. 

My hope is this episode will inspire you that God made you with a light to shine where you are. Through learning more about color and style you can actually spend less energy on “what to wear” and more time being who God made you to be. “To be yourself in a world constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson). 

Connect with Karen: 

Links Mentioned:  

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  • Mathnasium— Whether you’re looking to get your kids back on track or want to ensure they’re staying ahead with their math studies,  find a center near you at mathnasium.com and contact them for a free in center or online consultation.

 

 

Oct 25, 2021
Fed is Best || New Baby Series Pt. 2 :: Dr. Bridget Young [Bonus]
28:10

Feeding a baby is stressful enough. Choosing a formula and transitioning to formula doesn't need to be stressful too.

Today's guest, Dr. Bridget Young, is a doctor of Perinatal and Pediatric Nutrition with a PhD from Cornell University in Nutritional Science.  She specializes in maternal and child nutrition. Currently she is an assistant professor of pediatrics at the University of Rochester Medical Center. You can read about her active research on infant formula here.

In this episode Bridget (her preferred name), mom of two boys, gives advice to the new mom on how to transition from breastmilk to formula (or a new type of formula).

She also explains the most important aspect that differentiates one formula from another. I ask her to explain soy formula from hypo-allergenic. And she gives great advice for how to approach your bottle feeds.

Most importantly, I'm thankful to connect you with the wealth of information on her website and YouTube channel. If you're looking for even more guidance check out her course (DMA listeners get a special $10 off discount with the code: DMA10).

Connect with Dr. Young:

Links Mentioned:

Oct 22, 2021
Fed is Best || New Baby Series Pt 1 :: Demetria Martin and Dr. Odom [Ep 342]
46:11

Late nights, milk stained clothes and feeling like you’ll go crazy if your baby spits up that precious breastmilk…. I have been there. We’ve never done an episode specifically on breastfeeding, but I want to provide support to moms who may be in this very isolating time of life.

My guests are Certified Lactation Counselor Demetria Martin and Pediatrician Dr. Brittany Odom and they talk us through some of the common hot topics surrounding breastfeeding from supply issues to nighttime feedings and everything else in between. 

“Sometimes you don't have a good sense of community around breastfeeding. There are some pediatrician's offices that aren't super breastfeeding friendly. There might be some family members or friends who are not supportive of your breastfeeding journey. You may feel pretty alone when you're kind of starting this out. But give yourself, you know, a pat on the back for how far you have come. Even if it's been a day and a half, that's still a day and a half more than you've done before. So taking those small steps, knowing it is going to be a journey.”

Ultimately, we agree that a fed baby is a happy baby, so I hope you understand my heart is not to idealize the breastfeeding journey. Just to provide resources and community so you don’t mom alone as you feed your infants! 

(Later this week we will publish a bonus episode featuring another lactation consultant about how to choose the right formula for your family.)

Connect with Demetria: 

Connect with Dr. Brittany Odom:

Links Mentioned:  

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Oct 18, 2021
Relationships You Need To Be the Mom You Want to Be :: Heather MacFadyen [Ep 341]
50:58

Join me as I step into the role of guest on my own show! My friend Courtney Cleveland interviews me and we do go in depth on my first book, Don’t Mom Alone. **Now available wherever books are sold!**

We talk about how being a good mom isn’t about doing everything right to create a set of perfect trophy children–though every mom has felt the pressure to do just that and to do it all on her own. And how asking for help feels like defeat, but when we try to do it all by our own strength, we end up depleted, lonely, and ineffective.

We are not meant to do this alone! I believe moms can be empowered by God, supported by others, and connected with their children. With encouragement and insight, you can foster the key relationships you need to be the mom you want to be so we DON’T MOM ALONE. 

Links Mentioned:  

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Oct 12, 2021
For the Mom Tired of Striving:: Ruth Chou Simons [Ep 340]
49:31

In this episode, I’m excited to welcome back Ruth Chou Simons. In her newest book, When Strivings Cease, Ruth invites us to rethink our preoccupation with approval and the striving that comes because we feel like we’re forever missing the mark. It offers a deeper, abiding understanding of what God’s generous, unmerited favor really accomplishes in and through us when we receive the gift of grace.

As a mom of six boys, an author and an entrepreneur, Ruth shares from her experience of feeling like she needed to strive to move forward as a creator and how learning to trust God through the experience of mothering in the little years made all the difference. 

“Sometimes I feel like a late bloomer, but there's no such thing in God's timing and God's economy of ideas and opportunities. And those 10 years of changing diapers and just keeping my children alive felt like things were happening so slowly. But God taught me more in the slow waiting, hidden moments of a season that didn't look the way I wanted it to. And those things are fruitful. They've created the fruit that you see now.”

We talk about how to reset when you feel striving taking over, how to stop ourselves from demanding perfection/striving from our kids and how to preach truth to ourselves when we need to be reminded that we can trust God instead of living in fear. 

Connect with Ruth: 

Links Mentioned:  

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Oct 04, 2021
Truth for When You Feel Like a Bad Mom :: Jamie Ivey [Ep 339]
50:02

Sometimes you have to preach truth to yourself when the days are long and you feel inadequate. And oftentimes we need a friend or two to point out the truth. Jamie Ivey is on the podcast today to be that friend for us. She brings us into her personal struggles as a mom and reminds us that we aren’t alone in the struggle.

“It brings me so much comfort that God is not surprised by our diagnoses. He is not surprised by our families. He's not surprised by our struggles. He's not surprised by our insecurities, but he is a God who's willing and ready to be with us in the midst of those.”

If you need a reminder that God made you to have your kids. He made your kids to be who they are with all their abilities and challenges. And he didn’t just create us and stand away distanced as we struggle in life. This episode is for you. 

We talk about Jamie’s new children’s book God Made You to Be You, but dive much deeper into what that message can mean to us as moms and how we can encourage our kids as they relate to others who are different than them. 

Connect with Jamie: 

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors: 

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Sep 27, 2021
Helping Our Kids Foster Friendships :: David Thomas and Sissy Goff [Ep 338]
01:02:03

I’m excited to welcome back Sissy Goff and David Thomas to the show to talk about helping our kids foster friendships.  As licensed counselors, working at DayStar Counseling Center in Nashville, they provide support, encouragement & compassion to children, adolescents & families in need through counseling.

We talk about the nuances of boys vs girls in friendships, what to do if your kid is the bully, helping kids when friendships change or friends move, and how to take cues from our kids when it comes to their friendships

“It is really more important to prioritize teaching kids to be friends than to be concerned with them, having friends. And when it comes to our worries and fears about friendships, we can't have more emotion than they do over whatever's going on for them relationally. Often that will make them either feel like we're not safe to talk to, or it'll just make them dam up these feelings.”

Connect with David & Sissy: 

Previous Podcasts with David & Sissy:

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors: 

  • Mathnasium: Whether you’re looking to get your kids back on track or want to ensure they’re staying ahead with their math studies, find a center near you at mathnasium.com and contact them for a free in center or online consultation. 
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Sep 20, 2021
Long Game Parenting :: Melanie Shankle and Sophie Hudson [Ep 337]
01:02:08

Their real names are Melanie Shankle and Sophie Hudson, but they’ve been blogging for a long time on the internet as Big Mama and BooMama. In addition to being authors and speakers, they also host the fun podcast The Big Boo Cast where they talk about all the important stuff: faith, family, friends, football, fashion, and food. Plus, of course, their hair.

They join me for a mom friends episode where we talk about parenting teens, launching kids to college and letting go of mom guilt. 

“If you were a bad mom, you wouldn't spend a lot of time worrying about if you were a bad mom. So the fact that you're feeling that guilt is like, you love your child, you're showing up, you're trying to do all the right things. And you just have to trust that God's grace covers the rest of it because they're going to be things you get wrong.”

You won’t want to miss the fun and funny Melanie and Sophie. I consider them some of my mentor moms and they offer up a lot of candid advice and wisdom for playing the “long game” of parenting. 

Connect with Melanie: 

Connect with Sophie: 

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors: 

  • BetterHelp: Visit betterhelp.com/DMA and join the over 2,000,000 people who have taken charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Special offer for Don’t Mom Alone listeners: get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/DMA. 
  • Rothys:
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Sep 13, 2021
Weathering Life’s Storms :: Sally Clarkson [Ep 336]
48:15

Even without the overwhelm of the pandemic exhausting us both physically and emotionally, life inevitably brings storms our way. Storms that we can ride out with God or storms that we allow to sweep us away. 

Sally Clarkson, author, speaker and mentor of moms, joins me to talk about how to weather the storms of life with grace and hope. We talk about how some anchors we can put down in stormy times, pushing into friendships, filling our cups when we are depleted and parenting our kids through life’s disappointments. 

Sally also shares about how weathering life’s storms helps us care for others who are experiencing hard times better. 

“Sometimes in my life I think Jesus wanted me to grow up a little bit because it was in facing my storms, learning to walk through them that I was humbled. I learned a lot. I had more compassion for other people going through storms.  I feel like the story that you live becomes the platform for your compassion for other people.”

Connect with Sally: 

More Episodes with Sally:

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Sep 06, 2021
Self Differentiation and Why It Matters :: Nancy Houston [Ep 335]
54:05

Self differentiation, emotional enmeshment and emotional cut-off… We got some new-to-me terms to learn in this episode, but you’ll be very glad you stick with us for the definitions. And I promise there won’t be a pop quiz at the end. 🤣

I’m chatting with Nancy Houston, a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Sex Therapist specializing in individual, marital, and sexual issues. We go deep on some important concepts that I wish I’d learned earlier on in my marriage. 

The big one is self differentiation. Who am I separate from motherhood and marriage? And how can I stay a healthy individual in those roles without swinging too far either direction. Nancy shares practical tips and breaks down big concepts to get us going down the path of self discovery. 

“Health is being able to hold the middle where we can have some grace for ourselves and one another. Where we can have some quiet. Until I can stop judging myself so harshly, I'll never stop judging you.”

Connect with Nancy: 

Links Mentioned:  

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Aug 30, 2021
How God’s Holiness Helps Mothers :: Jackie Hill Perry [Ep 334]
48:09

If God is holy, then He can’t sin. If God can’t sin, then He can’t sin against you. If He can’t sin against you, shouldn’t that make Him the most trustworthy being there is?

I’m thrilled to have Jackie Hill Perry back on the podcast to share about her much anticipated book, “Holier Than Thou”.

She walks us through Scripture, shaking the dust off of “holy” as we’ve come to know it and revealing it for what it really is: good news. As it turns out, God being “holier than thou” is actually the best news in the world, and it’s the key to trusting Him.

“Holiness is really abstract, but what does it have to do with me? The truth is it has everything to do with the way we live because the way we engage with the world around us is symptomatic of what we believe is true about God.”

We also chat about how Jackie doesn’t “mom alone,” about her growing family and the holy calling of motherhood. This is a powerful episode! 

Connect with Jackie: 

Links Mentioned:  

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Aug 23, 2021
Body Awareness in Parenting :: Mary Van Geffen [Ep 333]
58:39

How we feel in our bodies affects so many facets of parenting-- and in some ways you might now expect. My guest Mary Van Geffen joins me to talk about 4 Ps that can help us practice body awareness as we work on parenting our kids (even the spicy ones) with empathy and connection.

“When in doubt I say choose connection rather than control. We're not going to have a lot of control and we don't have the time or the energy to follow through on things. So let's make sure we're connected because connection is the honey and it will help us to have more control.”

We go in depth on how paying attention to your Presence, Posture, Proximity and Phase of your Cycle can change how you parent and bring awareness of how to honor your body and rest when you need it. 

Connect with Mary: 

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors:

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Aug 16, 2021
Factual News, Flexible Thinking and Family Moral Imperatives :: Sharon McMahon [Ep 332]
54:28

News, politics and world events are on a 24-hour and 365-day cycle. Every second something new is happening and keeping up with the latest can be a full time job. Add on top of that the bias inherent in mass media and it can be hard to tell fact from manipulated fiction. 

Enter Sharon McMahon, a former high school government and law teacher on a mission to combat political misinformation. With her viral Instagram account @SharonSaysSo, she shares non-partisan facts about the US government and democracy in a way that is easy to understand.

Sharon talks with me about how to be flexible thinkers and to hear both sides of a political issue using the same critical thinking skills she taught her students in high school. We also chat about her motherhood journey and raising kids who can talk respectfully with people who have different viewpoints on the world and politics. 

But she doesn’t want you to listen to just her or any one person to learn the news of the day:

“I don't think it is wise to just look at one human, me or your favorite political pundit or anybody, and believe that person is right 100% of the time. It is still your job to consume and figure out using your own brain, the own skills in your head to determine whether or not that aligns for you and whether or not that actually is an accurate depiction of your feelings or viewpoints. So I always caution people. Don't take one person's word as gospel because all humans are fallible.” 

Connect with Sharon: 

 

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors:

  • Athena Club— Show your skin you care with the Athena Club Razor Kit! Sign up today and you’ll get 20% off your first order! Just go to AthenaClub.com and use promo code dma
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Aug 09, 2021
Shifting Perspective on Hard Things :: Summer of Mentorship Week 6
56:09

In this episode, Jen shares what she’s learned about heaven (from co-leading a study for 100+ women). She also gives a super practical way to figure out how you can help a friend in need. Jen reminds us mamas to hold our children loosely. To realize we have the privilege of partnering with God, but ultimately how our children “turn out” is up to him. 

And this. . .

It’s hard in the crisis to build that support system. Invest in women’s lives now. Not because you’re going to need them in case you have cancer. But that the time invested in friendships, meaningful friendships is worth it.–Jen

My biggest take-away from our conversation is to view my “to do” list as a “get to do” list. What joy to get to pick up my boys from school, to get to serve them meals, and to get to put them to bed!

Wrapping up this summer may we all see our everyday in light of eternity. Be grateful for all our “get to”s. And invest in our sweet friendships.

Read more of Jen’s story:

Personal Blog

What we chat about:

  • Jen’s surprise engagement, surprise baby and surprise cancer diagnosis.
  • Hope for the mom with chronic sickness/trauma/heartache.
  • What Jen’s learned about how friends help well.
  • The truths Jen gained from studying Heaven last summer.
  • Lessons for all of us to hold our children loosely.
  • Dealing with temper tantrums and other challenging behavior when mom is sick.
  • The value of building strong friendships.

Links Mentioned:

  • Not to us, Lord, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness.” (Psalm 115:1)
  • Send me your light and your faithful care, let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy mountain,
     to the place where you dwell.” (Psalm 43:3)
  • In Light of Eternity by Randy Alcorn
  • Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” (Colossians 3:2-3)
  • Nobody’s Cuter than You by Melanie Shankle
  • Just Show Up by Kara Tippetts & Jill Lynn Butelyn

Featured Sponsors: 

  • Glorify App—Glorify your relationship with God with 50% off unlimited access to premium
    content designed to help you get into good worship habits and grow closer to God. Download the Glorify app now, create an account and enter code DMA in the
    profile section for a special limited-time discount of 50%.
  • Lovevery — Take the guesswork out of your child’s play. Choose Lovevery TODAY and get free shipping when you sign up to receive your Play Kits at Lovevery.com/DMA.
Jul 26, 2021
Encouraging the Exhausted Mom :: Summer of Mentorship Week 5
44:12

Mush brain.

That’s how I’d describe my mind after years and years of sleep deprivation.

Most young moms (especially if you had lots of littles in a row) know the challenge of forming a complete thought. Or staying focused during a quiet time. Or even having a moment alone with God.

I know Jennie understands.

Jennie is a sweet mom of two from Cambridge, England. She emailed me sharing struggles with sleep deprivation. Her son suffered from a serious of medical challenges leaving them with four years of interrupted sleep.

She knows the power of a strong relationship with God. But in this season has found connecting deeply with Him difficult given her exhausted, “mush brain”. 

The mentor that I called to answer Jennie’s questions is the amazing Sally Clarkson.

Sally understands having children who don’t sleep and she’s been through her share of challenging seasons. From those experiences and others she began to mentor young moms and encourage other women to do the same .

In this episode, Sally helps moms move beyond traditional spiritual disciplines to experience God in their everyday moments. Inspiring us to find the goodness of God, by intentionally filling our lives with beauty and pleasure.

For the exhausted mom who longs to know God better, I hope this episode gives you peace, perspective and practical ideas.

Connect with Sally Clarkson:

Site :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Pinterest 

What we chat about:

Jennie’s Questions: 

  • How do I have a decent quiet time when I’m exhausted?
  • What tips do you have for getting through challenging circumstances?
  • Does a hard season have long-term impacts on your faith?

Sally’s Answers: 

  • Motherhood is a battleground.
  • What we struggle through is normal and women for generations have experienced it.
  • God created us to be in community. God is present through people.
  • Build things into your life to enjoy the goodness of God.

Other topics we cover: 

  • Journaling prayers
  • Breath prayers
  • Physical rest vs. soul rest

Links Mentioned:

Featured Sponsors: 

Function of Beauty -- Take your quiz and get customized hair products for 20% off your first order at functionofbeauty.com/DMA

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Jul 19, 2021
Breaking Up with Perfect :: Summer of Mentorship Week 4
40:48

If you've ever strived for perfection, then you know how it feels when you fall short.

Maybe you aren't the one carrying a list of all you "need to do to earn God's love." But more the type who carries a "Never Good Enough List” with all the reasons you'll never be able to earn His love.

Either way, Amy Carroll, (author, speaker, Proverbs 31 contributor) is on the podcast this week helping us break up with perfect.

In this episode (and in her new book), Amy helps us recognize the lies we have been believing and the Truth to set us free.

Lies like: "I was created to produce perfection" or "People are obstacles to my tasks" or "If I have the right stuff, my life will be perfect."

My favorite quote from our conversation was:

Only when I end my own pursuit of perfection can God do a perfecting work in me. --Amy Carroll

 May you experience a supernatural freedom from the struggle to be perfect. May your friendships deepen, your family be strengthened and your awareness of God's love grow as you stop striving and surrender to His gentle heart work.

Connect with Amy:

Breaking Up with Perfect :: Blog :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Pinterest 

What we chat about:

  • The events making Amy aware of her perfectionism
  • The impact a mentor had in Amy's journey to lose the list of perfect
  • The supernatural work God did on Amy to break the shell around her heart, to feel His love
  • The two perfect super moms in Amy's head--torn between two ideals.
  • The destruction of friendship when perfectionism enters.
  • The different types of perfectionists and their lists: good girl list or the never-good-enough list
  • The possibility of passing on perfectionism to our kids.

Links Mentioned:

Discussion Questions:

  1. Have you had friendships end because of your struggles with perfection? When friends go through hard times do you wonder how to be a good, imperfect friend? 
  2. Do you have a mentor? Is there someone you wish you could meet with? Could you make a plan to meet with her once in the next few months? 
  3. Could you relate to Amy’s struggle to feel God’s love and having a list of things you have to do to be right with God?
  4. What areas are you striving for perfection in motherhood? Who is your mental ‘ideal’ mom? Earth-mama, right-on-schedule mom? 
  5. Which type of perfectionist do you relate to—the good girl list or the never-good-enough list? Need to measure up or will never measure up? Or do you swing between the lists? 
  6. What have you found helpful to break up with perfection?

Featured Sponsors:

  • Betterhelp--get 10% off your first month of secure online professional counseling betterhelp.com/DMA

  • Glorify app--Get 50% off unlimited access to Glorify App with promo code DMA applied in the profile section of the app. 

 

Jul 12, 2021
Identifying Your “Wifestyle” :: Summer of Mentorship Week 3
46:53

Our first year of marriage was HARD. And we hit another rough patch (a.k.a. the “come to Jesus” days) after our second son was born. I took all the marriage advice I could get.

For all you mommas out there looking for a little marriage help, I’ve invited Jen Weaver on the show to talk about her newest book, “A Wife’s Secret to Happiness”. This episode originally aired on March 6, 2017. 

Jen is an adorable millennial who knows God’s Word and isn’t afraid to hit the marriage topic head on. She shares some great insights on a few controversial issues. But more than anything she helps us identify the marriage habits (a.k.a., “WifeStyles”) that are attracting or denying the blessings God has for our marriages.

What we chat about:

  • What is a “wifestyle”?
  • Habits that can attract or deny the blessings God has for our marriages
  • The slightly-controversial topic of “submission”
  • Making room for your spouse to lead and space for the Lord to speak.
  • What about when your spouse isn’t walking with the Lord?
  • Wifestyles: “braided” or “frayed”
  • What Jesus asked Jen.
  • Wifestyles: “doubtful” or “decided”
  • When you go through a relationship winter after a new baby
  • Hebrew convo about “chayil”and Proverbs 31 woman who is a wife of valor

Connect with Jen Weaver:

Website :: Instagram 

Links Mentioned:

Discussion Questions:

  • Discuss the idea of submission the way it’s described in the episode. 
  • How can you choose to make space for your spouse to lead in your relationship? In what ways do you lead?
  • Do you feel frayed or braided with God right now? How can you rebraid your attention back toward God?
  • What was your most recent relationship winter? How did you come through that?
  • What are your Proverbs 31 wife superpowers? How do you use your strengths in a way that blesses and doesn’t hinder?

Featured Sponsors:

  • Rothy’s — Don’t miss this great opportunity! Get $20 off a purchase of $100 or more. Rothys.com/DMA.
  • Thrive Market Go to ThriveMarket.com/DMA Join today to get $20 off your first order AND a FREE gift!
Jul 05, 2021
Mentoring Mom Insecurities :: Summer of Mentorship Week 2
56:55

This special episode was recorded at our first Live Event held in 2017. Guests, Kat Lee & Wynter Pitts shared their mom stories. And encouraged with audience with thoughts on mentorship, friendship and dealing with fear and insecurity in motherhood. 

What we chat about:

  • Kat Lee and Wynter Pitts’ motherhood stories
  • Dealing with insecurities in motherhood
  • The importance of having mentors and deep friends in the motherhood journey
  • Mentors don’t have to be older than you or available weekly. Find a way to make mentorship work for you.
  • Think of areas you are struggling with and look for someone who excels in that area to mentor you, no matter their age
  • Start or join a DMA podcast club as a way to connect with other women
  • You can be a mentor too! Look for younger moms who need encouragement.
  • We are never alone because God is with us, but it’s hard to remember that when life gets crazy. Kat and Wynter share what helps them remember God in the midst of life.
  • “Should is not a sustainable why.” Don’t just do things you SHOULD do if you don’t have a good reason for WHY.
  • Helping your kids develop healthy friendships and community
  • Not trying to over control your children’s lives and praying through how involved you should be in their friendships
  • Hope for dealing with irrational fears and grief
  • Giving yourself permission to be honest with God when you aren’t coping well and realizing that he is good despite your circumstances

Connect with Kat and HelloMornings:

Website * Facebook * Twitter * Instagram

Connect with For Girls Like You:

Website * Facebook * Twitter * Instagram

Links Mentioned:

Featured Sponsors: 

  • Lovevery — Take the guesswork out of your child’s play. Choose Lovevery TODAY and get free shipping when you sign up to receive your Play Kits at Lovevery.com/DMA
  • Function of Beauty — Go to FunctionofBeauty.com/DMA to take your quiz and save 20% on your first order. That applies to their full range of customized hair, skin, and body products.
Jun 28, 2021
Resolving Sibling Conflict:: Summer of Mentorship Wk 1
58:08

"They just keep fighting!"

Summer, for us, means lots of unstructured time together as a family. Which is great. . . until it's not.

Perhaps you can identify. Maybe you see yourself in one of the following situations:

Situation #1 - The kids are fighting - again! The harder you try to make it stop, the worse it seems to get - and the kids seem more and more resentful.

Situation #2 - One minute they love each other and the next minute they’re arch enemies. The older they get the louder and angrier it gets. You hate the way this affects everyone’s mood, including your own.

Situation #3 - Time-outs, required apologies, and firmness temporarily curb the fighting, but it soon comes back with more intensity.

Situation #4 - Your young kids are beginning their rivalry and you worry where it’s heading if you don’t learn some better strategies.  (copied from Sibling Conflict Online Course description).

Jim & Lynne Jackson from ConnectedFamilies.org are back to equip us in training our children to solve conflict well. And instead of just wishing they would "just stop fighting", to recognize the gospel work of guiding our family to reconciliation.

Jim & Lynne have been on the show before sharing their fabulous 4-layer framework for discipline that connects (Listen here to Episode 80 & 81). And again helping connect in any situation (Ep 98).

Today, they are talking us through The Peace Process. A simple but effective way to guide our kids to a lifetime of reconciled relationships. Here's their great graphic with the four steps moving us from "crazy mountain" to peaceful reconciliation (Click here to print your own copy):
peace_process

Conflict is inevitable. Instead of just getting frustrated and annoyed, I've found having a plan to reconnect hearts and train empathy so helpful. I also loved all the phrases Jim & Lynne modeled to use as we guide our children through the process. Here are some of my favorites (I'll be bookmarking this page and referring to often):

  • "Sounds like y'all are having a hard time. Do you need my help or are you able to work it out on your own?"
  • "Solving brains won't work until we're calm. Why don't we each find a comfortable place. How long do you need? 5 min? 10 min? Then we'll come back together to work this out."
  • "Did you hear that? How does she feel? Do you like that what you did made her feel that way? You two are listening to each other. How does that feel?"
  • "Your big feelings are a gift. And they are an even greater gift with you can use them to help understand other's big feelings."
  • "What's going on? What was important to each person? How have you solved this problem before? Would you like to think of ways to solve the problem or do you want me to help give you choices on how to solve it?"
  • "Are there four things you could say that are kind and true about that person?"

Lastly, if you need more help learning how to guide your kiddos through the peace process, check out Jim & Lynne's new SIBLING CONFLICT ONLINE COURSE. I'll be working through it this summer. Join me!  USE DMA20 to save 20% off. 

What we chat about:

  • Considering your own baggage/sibling situation as you rush into your kids' conflict.
  • Are we trying to get conflict to stop or teach reconciliation?
  • The four steps to "The Peace Process". 
  • A real life example of applying peace process.
  • How training in reconciliation helps our kids in their future marriages and relationships.
  • Helping our kids learn how to solve the problem of the conflict (a 3-step process).
  • A scenario of a more empathetic child in conflict with a more strong-willed child--growing specific skills in kids.
  • Addressing the differences in your kids outside of conflict.
  • Help for the mom who has a child with special needs in the sibling mix.
  • Connecting with others based not on experience but emotion.
  • Tips for conflicts that happen right before you have to leave the house.

Connect with Jim & Lynne:

Connected Families Site :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Pinterest

Links Mentioned:

  • Free Discipline that Connects handbook
  • Building Empathy in Kids (Part 1) and Building Empathy in Kids (Part 2) article
  • "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ." (Ephesians 4:15)
  • "Suppose your brother or sister has something against you, go make peace with them." (Abbr. Matthew 5:23-24).
  • "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God." (Matthew 5:9 NIV)
  • "You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family." (Matthew 5:9 MSG).
  • Need one-on-one parent coaching? Click here
  • Peaceful Mothering DVD

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

  • What is your process for sibling conflict to management in your home right now?
  • What are some ways you and your child can calm down in the heat of conflict? How could taking a mom "time out" help you can down?
  • Discuss how seeing conflict resolution in light of your child's future relationships (think coworkers and future spouse) can help you see why these skills are so important to learn now.
  • Guiding your kids with questions as they resolve conflict helps support them make better decisions. Think of a few questions you could ask for common disagreements.
  • Think about each of your kids and help make a plan for their individual personalities for conflict resolution.

FEATURED SPONSORS: 

Jun 21, 2021
The Screen Struggle is Real :: Arlene Pellicane [Ep 331]
55:46

It’s summertime again and in the absence of formal school your kids may be looking forward to unstructured time and more access to screens. As one of the first generations to parent kids in the age of smartphones, we can choose to be on high alert to how healthy our kids' digital habits are and help them set healthy boundaries.

My guest Arlene Pellicane shares strategies from her book Screen Kids and from her own family life. They have a “no phone, no gaming, no social media” policy for their kids and she shares the research and practical reasons behind why. But, wherever you are with screens and your family, this time of year is a perfect time for a reset. 

“For our summer mindset, we all need a break and this could be a beautiful time to have some kind of different routine with our screens."

We talk about digital vegetables vs digital candy, reconsidering phones for younger kids, building real world skills for our kids instead of just digital ones and setting digital boundaries. It’s so helpful and I’m already implementing some of Arlene’s advice for my boys this summer. 

Know that you are not alone in this struggle. Together we can do this!

Connect with Arlene: 

 

Links Mentioned:  

 Featured Sponsors: 

Jun 14, 2021
Slob Clean Your Summer :: Dana K White [Ep 330]
52:59

Managing your home in the midst of motherhood is a challenge, especially when cleaning, organizing and decluttering don’t come naturally. 

My guest Dana K. White struggled for years to figure out why her home was so messy. She could get it clean, but it would take days and then in no time it was right back to where she’d started with piles of clutter, laundry and dishes. 

“I had always thought before, my home is not who I am, but now it was my identity and it was even harder. And that was when I really thought. There's something wrong with me. Like, literally I am broken in some way. I cannot do this thing that other people seem to be able to do so easily.”

God brought her to a place of breakthrough when she started an anonymous blog to get open and real about being a “slob.” Through that, she started to discover some simple truths about cleaning and organizing strategies that actually work for people who don’t love cleaning and organizing.

We talk about tips for how to start cleaning when you feel overwhelmed, how to only make progress when decluttering and more. It’s a great listen for yourself and to learn how to help the less organized members of your family. 

Here’s to making progress on our homes this summer! Stay tuned for the Summer of Mentorship starting June 21st. Great episodes to listen to while you clean and declutter. 

Connect with Dana: 

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors: 

  • Rothy’s --Keep it clean with washable shoes and bags from Rothy’s. Plus they just launched men’s shoes, so make sure to check them out for the men in your life. Go to Rothys.com/DMA today to check out your favorites
  • Thrive Market -- Go to ThriveMarket.com/DMA Join to get $20 off your first order AND a free gift. 
Jun 07, 2021
Your Body is GOOD :: Jess Connolly [Ep 329]
51:46

Jess Connolly has not always seen her body as good. It’s a struggle all of us can relate to. Whether it’s a concern over weight and external beauty or a physical disability or medical issue, there’s always something about our bodies that cause “trouble.” 

Jess shares about her struggle with an autoimmune disease and feeling body shame from an early age. 

“I spent a few years treating that disease, as if my body was a huge problem that just needed to be solved or a project that needed to be completed. My healthier behaviors as a young mom weren't rooted in love, but in extreme frustration.”

And she takes us into her journey of asking God to give her a kingdom body mindset to break free of body shame. We talk about shifting our perspective on what makes a body good and so much of it comes down to a key question Jess shares:

“Do you treat your body as if it is loved or as if you want it to be lovable? Are you trying to make it good? Are you trying to treat it as if it is good? Because when I treat my body as if it was made good, and I want to steward that.”

For more on this, grab a copy of Jess’ new book Breaking Free from Body Shame.

Connect with Jess: 

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors: 

 

  • Acorn TV — Try Acorn TV free for 30 days. Go to Acorn.tv use code: dma (all lowercase letters). 

 

 

May 31, 2021
Let’s Talk about Sex :: Mary Flo Ridley and Megan Michelson [Ep 328]
50:30

You asked and I’m so happy to have Mary Flo Ridley and Megan Michelson back to coach us on how to talk with our kids about the topic of sex. I love their approach which is explained in their online course called Birds and Bees. It’s all about having multiple conversations over the years with your kids instead of having one big TALK when they are older. 

“What we want parents to do with the topic of sex is to not be afraid and be silenced, but to be equipped and have tools and phrases to say an age appropriate ways … They're drip by drip, by drip conversations, because it takes a lot for them to absorb this information.”

Mary Flo and Megan take us through reasons why we should have conversations with our youngest kids about reproduction, birth and specific scientific terms for private areas. We chat about how to bring these topics up and answer questions that might make you nervous at first. It’s all about giving your kids accurate and honest information on this important topic.

“I know when parents first hear about this they think, ‘I didn't want to talk to my kids about sex one time, why in the world, but I want to do this multiple times?’ But it's just so much easier to do it in bite size, age-appropriate phrases and conversations and soundbites because that's how things are digested and absorbed.”

Connect with Birds & Bees: 

Links Mentioned:  

Previous Podcasts with Birds & Bees:

Featured Sponsors: 

  • StoryWorth —Give your dad the most meaningful gift this Father’s Day with StoryWorth. Get started right away with no shipping required by going to StoryWorth.com/DMA to get $10 off your first purchase. 
  • HelloFresh —Go to HelloFresh.com/dma12 and use the code: dma12 to get 12 free meals, including free shipping. 
May 24, 2021
Exploring Global Cultures at Home :: Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young [Ep 327]
36:02

Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young is an author and speaker who is passionate about helping people discover God’s glory in unexpected places. But in the midst of the Pandemic with her family’s long-awaited travel plans delayed and then cancelled, Dorina found herself struggling to see glory in the continued quarantine life. 

With a long winter break and nothing to look forward to, Dorina processed her disappointment with her husband Shawn and her three daughters. Shawn suggested bringing Hawaii home by having a luau and ordering in Hawaiin food and it sparked the idea of Global Glory Chasers, a cultural exploration program for families. 

Dorina and I talk about doing deep dives into the food and culture of international communities and how helping our kids engage with other races and nationalities gives them a global perspective on the glory of God

“Learning about cultures is actually an invitation for us to learn more about God's glory and how he has made each one of us into his image bearers.  We can't understand God, unless we're willing to listen to stories of people from different backgrounds. So we like to say we’re breaking barriers by breaking bread at home and by eating the foods of the different cultures.”

Connect with Dorina: 

Links Mentioned:  

May 17, 2021
Going on a Soul 30 :: Kay Wyma [Ep 326]
55:07

In a world that seems to bring more and more division every day, how do we connect with other people in a deep, human way? Kay Wyma takes us into her story of how seemingly small acts of kindness, thankfulness and mercy have made all the difference for her and her family. 

“There are so many ways you can practice kindness that are outward acts of kindness. And then you'll start to realize kindness is picking up the laundry for somebody that I'm frustrated with, you know, that they could have done it themselves.There are kindness opportunities everywhere. Be kind to yourself for Pete's sake. At least one day a week. Actively do something kind for yourself.”

Learn about what Kay calls a Soul 30 and her new book The Peace Project. I love that this isn’t another thing for your to do list, it is more about HOW you do the things on your list. And when we practice kindness, thankfulness and mercy we can’t help reflecting the goodness of God to a world that needs it more than ever.   

Connect with Kay Wyma: 

 

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors: 

  • Nextdoor—Join your neighborhood on the FREE app. Use this link nextdoor.com/DMA to let them know you heard about it from me. 
  • Betterhelp—Listeners of the DMA podcast get 10% off their first month of secure online professional counseling. Betterhelp.com/DMA.
May 10, 2021
Owning Your Motherhood :: Erin Moon & Courtney Cleveland [Ep 325]
01:04:25

Long-time friends Erin Moon and Courtney Cleveland join me to share their motherhood stories and how they’ve found their identity as moms separate from motherhood stereotypes. 

“There are so many ways to be a good mom and what it looks like for you doesn’t look like it does for me. And I really had to let go of the idea that I had to be the same kind of mother as everyone else... It was so freeing and it seems so simple. I mean, that's not even how humanity works. So why would motherhood be that way?”

We talk about mom superpowers, viewing dinner as optional food exposure and the ridiculousness of keeping track of socks for multiple kids. Listen and laugh along with us as we take light hearted views on the daily grind of motherhood. I’m sure you will relate. 

Don’t Miss: Near the end Erin shares a great idea for creating your own “fake Mother’s Day” on a different day from the actual holiday that I’m totally going to try. 

Happy Mother’s Day to you all! I pray you feel celebrated for all the unique gifts you bring into motherhood. 

Connect with Erin: 

Connect with Courtney: 

Links Mentioned: 

Featured Sponsors: 

  • Rothy’s — Check out all the amazing shoes, bags and masks available right now at Rothys.com/DMA
  • Thrive Market — Join Thrive Market to get $20 off your first order and an exclusive FREE gift. Go to Thrivemarket.com/DMA
May 03, 2021
Walking Thru Divorce :: Lara Williams [Ep 324]
48:11

The daily grind of marriage, parenting, and life wears on us all, but when your relationship with your spouse is no longer a healthy one, how do you choose to walk away? My guest and long-time friend Lara Williams brings us into her story of working through marriage infidelity with her husband and her long, painful journey to divorce.

“And it was a process, but I think I finally got to that place where I could accept that divorce was happening in my life, but that's just it. It's happening. It doesn't mean that's who I am. And it doesn't just because God hates it. It doesn't mean he hates me. He loves me and I went through a process of washing those lies with the truth of what God says and he's so gracious to transform our minds.”

We talk about all the ways Lara and her husband worked to save their marriage, what it was like when saving it was no longer an option and how God met Lara in that place. Lara shares about parenting when you are walking through divorce, dating after divorce, and how the church can both help and hurt during this painful experience. 

I’m so thankful for Lara’s heart and how bravely she shares her story. She has graciously given permission to publish her email address if you or someone you know would like to reach out on this topic. 

Connect with Lara: 

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors:

  • Nextdoor- Go to Nextdoor.com/DMA to sign up and see what your neighbors are talking about. Join your neighborhood today. 
  • Skylight Frame- You can get $10 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go to skylightframe.com and enter code DMA. 
Apr 26, 2021
Inner Healing Prayer :: Jennifer Barnett [Ep 323]
50:57

There is often a disconnect from what we read in scripture and how we experience life. God say, “I have not given you a spirit of fear,” but we keenly feel fear and anxiety. We know that God has taken away our sins, but we still feel like it comes between us and hearing His voice. 

One powerful way to work towards freedom in these areas is through a biblically-based program of inner healing prayer. My guest Jennifer Barnett of Freedom Prayer joins me to talk about inner healing prayer or freedom prayer, a powerful process that helps restore individuals to a more fruitful and fulfilling walk with God.

“Inner healing prayer is its own sort of type of prayer. If you're not familiar with it, we would say it's some really intentional time devoted to allowing God to remove anything that would hinder someone from a full abiding relationship with him. That could look like sin, wounding, ungodly beliefs, or lies that we believe about ourselves, God or other people.”

My experience with inner healing prayer has been so powerful and I believe it can be for you too. For more information on Freedom Prayer visit their website at https://freedomprayer.org

Connect with Freedom Prayer: 

Featured Sponsors: 

  • FabFitFun — get $10 off your first box with the code DMA10 over at www.FabFitFun.com
  • BetterHelp—DMA listeners get 10% off their first month of online secure professional counseling at Betterhelp.com/DMA
Apr 19, 2021
Six Needs of Every Child :: Amy and Jeffrey Olrick [Ep 322]
55:56

As moms we are often looking for parenting formulas and quick fixes to solve our latest parenting problems. When they are babies, following formulas for sleeping and eating makes sense, but as they get older and their needs change it gets a lot more complicated. 

We often turn to friends and mentors for advice, but that doesn’t always work or what works for one of our kids doesn’t for another and it can make us feel lost. 

Jeffrey Olrick, Ph.D. and his wife Amy Olrick join me to share a different way to interpret our kids needs using some practical tools and the science of connection. They offer an alternative question to “What do I do?”, asking instead: “How can I be with this child?”. They go through the six needs of every child and a helpful compass to help you find your way when it gets challenging.

“I think some of it is a fear that we have parents. If we lose the trail for even a moment that our children will be put in imminent danger. And we want to set parents free from that and say, no, actually that's actually going to be pretty normal to lose the trail. But you are still together and you're going to find your way back to firm footing with these six needs.”

This approach is teaching me a lot in my own parenting and I know it will help you on your parenting journey. To learn more from the Olricks, check out their podcast!

Connect with the Olricks: 

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors: 

  • Hello Bello— Go to hellobello.com/DMA to get 25% off your diaper bundle order and 15% off any add ons like vitamins or wipes!
  • StoryWorth—Give your mom the most meaningful gift this Mother’s Day with StoryWorth. No shipping required. Go to StoryWorth.com/DMA and get $10 off your first purchase. 
Apr 12, 2021
Healing from Broken Friendships :: Shundria Riddick [Ep 321]
43:54

On a recent Instagram survey I learned that 68% of y’all have experienced broken friendships. I knew we needed an episode to help.

The last year has not been easy for any of us. So many things in our lives changed in response to the pandemic, political and racial tensions, and the loneliness of quarantine life. In the midst of everything, it has been hard to keep friendships healthy.

Licensed professional counselor Shundria Riddick is here to walk us through some healthy ways to work toward reconciliation and how to know when to walk away from friendship that is hurtful. We talk about setting healthy boundaries, having clarifying conversations, and how to analyze the health of relationships.

Connect with Shundria: 

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors: 

  • Rothys—Check out all the amazing shoes, bags and masks available right now at Rothys.com/DMA.
  • Thrive Market—Join Thrive Market today to get 25% off your first order AND an exclusive FREE gift! The ONLY way to get this offer is by going to Thrive Market.com/DMA
Apr 05, 2021
Hosting a Simple Passover Seder :: Chris and Karen Katulka [Ep 320]
54:47

With Easter right around the corner, the traditional Jewish feast of Passover is also coming up. The Passover Seder, a ritual feast that marks the beginning of Passover, is a powerful, symbolic meal to help both Christian and Jewish believers remember the liberation of the Israelites from slavery in ancient Egypt.

My friends Chris and Karen Katulka walk us through all the elements in a way that is doable for families with young kids and still poignant for us as adults. You may be surprised all that you learn about how specific foods can serve as meaningful reminders of God’s redemption.

“And what you do is you eat the bitter herbs with matzah as a reminder of the bitterness of bondage that was felt for the Israelites. For us as Christians, you know, there was a point where you didn't know Christ, a point where you were separated. So that bitterness is a nice, fresh reminder of what was life like before.”

The Katulkas help make this sacred celebration accessible and understandable for families whether you’ve participated in the past or want to start a new tradition this year. Download their helpful Passover packet with recipes and more information.

Connect with the Friends of Israel: 

Links Mentioned:  

FEATURED SPONSORS: 

  • HelloBello — Get 25% off your diaper bundle order and 15% off any add ons like vitamins or wipes: hellobello.com/DMA
  • SoulCycle At Home Bike —Get your SoulCycle At Home bike by visiting MySoulCycleBike.com/DMA use promo code: DMA and get a complementary pair of at home Select cycling shoes with your purchase.
Mar 29, 2021
Connecting Through Play :: Charissa Fry [Ep 319]
50:11

Licensed Professional Counselor Charissa Fry is back to help parents get the “most bang for our buck” when it comes to one-on-one connected time with our kids — PLAY!

Even if you’re a mom who doesn’t love playtime or you feel like you can’t add one more thing to your family schedule, listen in as Charissa breaks down how the benefits of special playtime far exceed the difficulties. 

“We follow the child's lead because it allows the child to feel seen, heard, understood, and delighted in like you care about what they care about. You're interested in what they're interested in. It also models cooperation. And it’s helpful with the power dynamic between a parent and a child.”

We talk about how to remove the teacher, parent and disciplinarian hats and enter into playtime with a positive and engaged attitude that can reap BIG benefits in our parenting over time. Charissa explains some of the “rules” of special playtime that can help us reinforce positive behavior and give our kids permission to play however they want. 

I hope this episode leaves you encouraged to connect with kids through imaginative play. For more information, check out this resource from Charissa! 

Helpful Verbal Cue:

“Hey, in five minutes, we're going to have special playtime and you get to choose what we do together.”

Connect with Charissa: 

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors: 

  • FabFitFun— use code DMA10 to save $10 off your first FabFitFun box at FabFitFun.com
  • Acorn TV—try the Acorn TV streaming service for FREE for 30 days. Go to Acorn.tv and use code DMA
Mar 22, 2021
True Intimacy with God :: Mo Isom Aiken [Ep 318]
01:00:51

I’m excited to welcome back Mo Isom Aiken  to the podcast. She writes and speaks powerfully about how God has redeemed her own brokenness and set her on a path to challenge, encourage and equip other Christ followers. In this episode we talk about how each of us was made for true intimacy with God on a heart level. 

“The ultimate will of the Father is to know him intimately and to be known by him and to press into an intimacy with God that is all-consuming and not based on our doing as much as our being with him -- who we are, who he is. Allowing this intimacy that really takes us to think about marital intimacy, a vulnerable exposed, honest place that draws near to us. And somehow this rhythmic, you know, coming together transforms our heart.”

Mo takes us into her own story of God peeling back the layers of shame and her own twisted view of intimacy to heal the deep places of her heart. We talk about how God wants to do the same for each of us, but it’s a process. 

In this time when so many of us have lost the support that sustained us and distractions that hid our true feelings, Mo invites us to draw near to God trusting him and exposing our physical vulnerabilities to him. 

“If we want to understand the deeper layers of spiritual intimacy with God, we've got to be willing to work through the very physical layers of things that have impacted our life and story because everything in the physical is ultimately served to shape our perspective of intimacy overall and especially intimacy with God.”

Connect with Mo: 

Links Mentioned:  

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Mar 15, 2021
Supporting Students with Dyslexia :: Kerri Irvin [Ep 317]
55:54

When it comes to learning differences and special education diagnoses, it can feel overwhelming and defeating to see your child struggle. My guest Kerri Irvin is a dyslexia specialist who has worked with countless children, teens and adults to help them thrive and embrace their learning differences. 

“It amazes me the gifts that God provides for all children, alongside their challenges. For every challenge, an equally important, if not more significant, gift has been provided and their challenges, without fail, are gifts that support them with their talents and make them better learners and people.”

We talk about what dyslexia is, how students with dyslexia learn differently, ways to partner with your child’s teachers to help them succeed, and how to support friends who have children with learning differences. Kerri shares with passion and hope about how dyslexia is not just a learning challenge, but can be a strength. 

Connect with Kerri

Email: kdicalt123@gmail.com 

Site: SK Designs for Learning

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors: 

  • Function of Beauty — Go to FunctionofBeauty.com/DMA to take your quiz and get 20% off your first order. 
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Mar 08, 2021
Bruce Learns to Label His Feelings :: Bruce and Heather [Ep 316]
42:57

“What’s something you’ve grown in but at different speeds?”. After collecting listener questions, this question stood out to my husband Bruce. So instead of doing a general Q and A episode (in honor of our 22nd wedding anniversary), we decided to discuss Bruce’s journey in learning how to identify what he is feeling, labeling it and sharing it with others. 

Listen to how we learned to process our feelings through church small group. And how we’ve grown as a couple to express those emotions in a healthy way.

“I think a common theme through all of this is just having a really constructive, clear language to talk about things. It is not like any one of these methods solves things. It's not a formula. The more precise and constructive and simple we make this language,  the more effective communication can be.”

Here are the cards we reference in the show (see website show notes). 

More Episodes with Bruce:

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors: 

PrettyLitter — use code DMA to save 20% off a one month supply over at prettylitter.com

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Mar 01, 2021
A Lil Help with Boys and Screens :: David Thomas [Bonus]
10:46

David Thomas and I talked for SOOOO long in our interview because he's the BEST. The last part of our convo was specific to handling screen time with boys. The DMA team figured we could shorten the main episode by releasing this part separately. Of course, David and I did not cover every angle of managing technology (people write whole books on that topic). But I hope it helps you feel less alone in the struggle and empowered to do a few things:

  1. Create a Family Media Plan (or at least use the media calculator)--see links below
  2. Discuss what creative things your family has done outside of screen time. After reminiscing, brainstorm new ideas.
  3. Ask your son about one of his favorite video games. Perhaps sit down and play one with him. Let me know how it goes.

Links:

 

Feb 26, 2021
Understanding Boys Better :: David Thomas [Ep 315]
01:04:34

Understanding the emotions of boys is a challenge no matter the age. Anxiety that presents as anger or distraction. Depression shows up as low-grade irritability. David Thomas returns to the show to answer listener questions about all things boy.

David is a family therapist and director at DayStar Counseling Center in Nashville. He has lots of experience counseling families and children and has a set of twin boys himself. We talk about teaching our sons about emotional language, going to counseling, helping sibling relationships, and managing boy energy levels.

“I think we need to be clear with boys. I think it's always helpful to use concrete language with them. When we're concise, clear, and concrete, those are kind of three rules of thumb, we can consistently be adopting. The mistake that I think we can make is we kind of soft pedal and dance around things.”

If you are a parent of boys, this is an episode for you! Watch for a bonus episode coming out later this week too.

 

Connect with David: 

 

Links Mentioned:  

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Feb 22, 2021
Talk to Your Kids about Race :: Kirsten Watson [Ep 314]
41:24

The topic of racial inequality and the need for reconciliation and education on race in America is a BIG. It can seem overwhelmingly big when it comes to teaching our kids how to be allies for people who are different from them. 

 

My guest Kirsten Watson breaks down why we shouldn’t shy away from these conversations, but how to show our children the importance of diversity and how to righteously fight for what's right. 

 

“As a believer, as my sister in Christ, the reason it's so imperative for you to have this conversation with your kids is because when it happens to my kid, when the joke is made, I need your kid to stand up for my kid. Because they know that my kid was made in the image of Christ and they know that God made us all different. That they would stand up for my kid, because my kid is any kid who is not white.”

 

Having these conversations with our kids and bringing it back to God's truth allows us to change the narrative and raise the next generation to continue to work toward racial unity.

 

Connect with Kirsten: 

 

 

Links Mentioned:  

 

Featured Sponsors: 

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Feb 15, 2021
Overwhelmed Beyond Your Strength :: Jackie Askvig [Ep 313]
55:28

My guest Jackie and her husband David always thought they would foster and maybe adopt. After starting a family of their own, fostering siblings for a time and having twins, a viral photo of a malnourished orphan in Ukraine changed everything. 

As Jackie and her family prayed for the boy to be adopted and cared for, God spoke to her heart.

“There were plenty of reasons that we could come up with, but no real reason that seemed good enough to say ‘no’ to it. So we committed to adopting him. We didn't even know what country he was from to start with people. God just said, that's your son.”

After committing to their first adoption, another boy in Ukraine in a similar situation came to their attention. He was soon to “age out” of the adoption system and was desperate for a family. Again, Jackie and her family prayed and again God called them to adopt.

Listen to the episode to learn more of Jackie’s story and all that God has done from them simply saying “Yes” to this assignment outside of her own strength. Another reminder not to overcomplicate motherhood, to watch how kids can flourish with love and care. 

Here are side-by-side pics of Miles and Jonah from the day of adoption, to 1 year and 2 year anniversaries. 

Connect with Jackie: 

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors: 

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Feb 08, 2021
Why Read the Entire Bible? :: Tara Leigh Cobble [Ep 312]
41:46

Have you read the whole Bible? That was the question my guest Tara-Leigh Cobble struggled to answer while talking to a pastor friend. As she thought back through her life growing up in a Christian home, being involved in church and now working in full-time ministry and she couldn’t say for sure that she’d really read ALL of the Bible. 

So she started a chronological reading plan to read it all, even the genealogies. But as she read, Tara had to wrestle with stories she’d never heard from the pulpit.  

“I was questioning the Bible because I was reading the Bible and I was questioning not is this true, but is he good? Yeah. Do I like him? My mentor said the places where you have difficulty with God lean in because the good stuff is on the other side of this. The good stuff is on the other side of this struggle.”

After completing her own journey of reading the full Bible and seeing scripture and God in a new way, Tara-Leigh created The Bible Recap podcast and book to help others encounter God through his Word. And she’s here to give us a pep talk for reading the full Bible too. 

“You behold the living God in scripture, and all of a sudden, instead of feeling burdened by your to-do list, you're going to be buoyed and carried along by the love of the God of the universe and by the person of who he is. And that's what I want you to take away from scripture every day, a vision of the God who loves you and who has already accomplished all that he requires of you.”

Connect with Tara-Leigh: 

Links Mentioned:  

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Feb 01, 2021
Getting Brave About Anxiety :: Sissy Goff [Ep 311]
49:35

Sissy Goff is one of our favorite counselors to have on the show and she’s back with us to talk about her new guide for helping teen girls with worry and anxiety. But beyond that she offers hope and help for all of us as we experience hard emotions in the midst of this pandemic.

We talk about strategies for working through worry and anxiety for different ages and stages of kids and for us as moms. And Sissy reminds us to trust our instincts when it comes to helping our kids. 

“You are not alone. And as a mom, your gut is your superpower. You are so intuitive and trust your gut on what's going on with your kids and, and have a few people that you trust a lot that you can talk to. Definitely talk about it because anxiety left untreated only gets worse. I'm seeing so much more in the pandemic that it's spilling over into depression.”

She also reminds us that asking for help is a brave and often necessary step for helping our kids learn practical ways to fight back when worries come up.

Connect with Sissy: 

Links Mentioned:  

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Jan 25, 2021
Finding Yourself in Motherhood :: Amber O'Neal Johnston [Ep 310]
49:59

Amber O’Neal describes herself as a homeschooling mama using Charlotte Mason principles in an atmosphere where “Charlotte Mason wears an afro.” She joins me to talk about how she unexpectedly found she loved homeschooling and working to help her kids love themselves and others.

“The Holy Spirit is the supreme educator and the Holy Spirit will speak directly and work directly with our children just as he does through us. And that was a total reframe for me because it gave me a lot of freedom and released a lot of pressure for me when I realized that I'm actually not the supreme educator, I am a guide and I'm going to come alongside my child and that my job is not to teach in the traditional sense of teaching, but more to act as a guide.”

Amber shares why she’s creating resources for her children and others to share books and history from people of color and the journey she’s been on with her children as she encourages them to embrace their skin color and cultural history.

 

And her resources and the Charlotte Mason principles aren’t just for homeschooling mamas. She has book lists of great things to read with your children to give them a more holistic view on black history, poetry and culture. 

Connect with Amber: 

Links Mentioned:  

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Jan 18, 2021
Safe Conversations :: Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt [Ep 309]
46:58

Harville Hendrix, PhD and his wife Helen Hunt, PhD have been helping couples for years as therapists, authors and speakers. They are on a mission to share the concepts of safe conversations with the world. They join me to share how their method can help us have more effective in-depth conversations with our spouse and children.

This works every time. It works with parents, with children and couples. It is something that we now know scientifically that if you mirror another person back accurately and with warmth and no judgment, something will happen inside of them. Something marvelous.

They model a safe conversation for us and offer a lot of encouragement and hope for couples who are struggling and how “Conflict is future growth waiting to happen.”

Harville and Helen have an amazing offer for DMA listeners. Use code DMA on their site at safeconversations.com to get 50% off your choice of SC Essentials or the Ultimate Couples Bundle, both courses will receive free tickets to a live workshop of your choice, a $196 value.

Connect with Harville & Helen: 

Links Mentioned:  

Safe Conversations courses: https://safeconversations.com

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Jan 11, 2021
Redeeming Shame through Community :: Dr. Curt Thompson [Ep 308]
43:42

Our kids begin to feel and respond to shame as early as 15 to 18 months of age. Those early moments can begin a lifelong struggle with feeling unworthy, inadequate and unlovable. Shame also disintegrates us (separating our thinking brain from our feeling brain) and isolates us from others. 

My guest is Dr. Curt Thompson, a psychiatrist and expert on the effects of shame and how to find freedom from the lifelong negative messages that come after us and our family.

“One of the things that we notice about shame is that because we are immobilized and we are hiding, shame does not actually ever allow us to move toward God. This is why we have to have someone come and find us. This is why when our children are experiencing shame, we have to go and find them. This is why it's important for us as parents to have others who are coming to find us.”

YES! Moms don’t let moms sit in shame. We can choose to seek out others when they are stuck in the shame cycle. Who are your 2 or 3 moms that will help you tell your story more truly? 

Dr. Thompson walks us through some practical ways to build in memories and physical reminders to work against shame in the future for both ourselves and others. And throughout our conversation he points back to how God doesn’t leave us to deal with shame alone.

“The beautiful thing is Jesus isn’t worried about our kids. He's not worried about your mothering. He's delighted. He knows how hard this work is and he knows that we will do it imperfectly. Even when we have our worst moments in which we foist to shame upon our kids or when our kids experience shame against everything that we're doing to try to combat it, God is saying: ‘I'm not worried. I never run out of options.’”

Connect with Dr. Thompson: 

Links Mentioned:  

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Jan 04, 2021
Worth Repeating // Kirk Martin (Calm Parenting)
24:55

I love Kirk’s realistic approach to parenting. He understands what your home dynamics are like. And gives practical tips. After listening to today’s episode you will have at least three different “tricks” to apply.

Most of all, I’m thankful for the new perspective he has given me. Kirk helped me recognize how emotionally invested I was in my boys’ behavior and freed me from the need to regulate their behavior for them.

The last couple days I’ve enjoyed the boys more. I’m also less tense and frustrated when we are out in public. In fact, I may need to go back and listen to this episode more than once, so it sticks!

This episode originally aired in May of 2015

Kirk came back on the show multiple times. Check out additional episodes here.

What we chat about:

  • Kirk’s realization that he needed to focus on his own behavior and stop trying to fix his son’s strong-willed behavior.
  • The switch he made from training 1500 kids in his home to training parents to calm themselves.
  • The one thing you can do today to de-escalate a tense situation in your home.
  • How to calmly handle your child’s meltdown

I can only control one person in life, and that’s me.

  • How motion changes emotion–helping little ones calm down b/c they don’t know how to “think” their way out.
  • What to do in the middle of Target aisle 3 when your child freaks out
  • Handling a tantruming child when his siblings are fighting and another needs help with homework and dinner is cooking (Heather’s daily 5 pm reality).

If you don’t care enough about yourself, to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually. . .why would anyone else care?

  • How sometimes parents want good behavior so badly, they are too invested in it and give children too much control.
  • How to be an impartial giver of wisdom.
  • Write down your emotional triggers & do the opposite of what you normally do.

Connect with Kirk:

Site :: Twitter :: Facebook :: Podcast

Links Mentioned:

  • CDs/DVDs
  • 888-506-1871–Toll Free Number for Frustrated Parents

Become a DMA Insider! Join me and Bruce in 2021 to discuss StrengthsFinder! How it impacts your marriage, parenting and career. You're invited! 

Dec 28, 2020
Worth Repeating // Christy Nockels (Christmas Ed)
21:47

This episode originally aired in Nov 2016

Today’s guest is Christy Nockels, Dove award winning musician and mom to three children. In 2006 she made the God-led choice to step away from the music industry, for a time, to pour into her family.

In 2016 she released the solo Christmas album, “The Thrill of Hope”. With a blend of classic Christmas carols and original pieces, she has crafted a beautiful addition to our Christmas music collections.

In this episode you’ll hear the inspiration behind the songs, “Amaryllis” and “Wrap This One Up”. . .both stories gave me goosebumps. I won’t think of the Bethlehem shepherds the same way again. And the winter blooming amaryllis reminds us the hope Jesus brought . . .

Our King has come, He’s with us now & He’s making all things new again. That’s the thrill of hope.

What we chat about:

  • How motherhood takes you from peaceful quiet times to sock-and-underwear prayers
  • The secret of simple scripture and open dialogue with God
  • Christy’s new album “The Thrill of Hope”- her first Christmas album!
  • The message of the amaryllis for those with heavy hearts in the Christmas season
  • How “wrapped in swaddling clothes” may have meant much more to the shepherds
  • Christy’s song on the new album that makes her listeners “ugly cry”

Links Mentioned:

You are invited to become a DMA Insider! Join us over here and get bonus content. Including live Mentor Moment Q&As. In 2021 Bruce and I will lead Insiders through a StrengthsFinder Series. Learn the 101s of StrengthsFinder. And how knowing your Strengths impacts your marriage, parenting and career. 

Merry Christmas!

Dec 21, 2020
Worth Repeating // Sally Lloyd Jones
25:16

This is episode originally aired in Nov of 2015. 

Our copy is duct-taped and well-loved. . .

My oldest son beamed telling me how he’s read the whole Bible in a couple weeks. . .

It’s sold almost 2 million copies. . .

Children (and adults) have been wooed by the story of their Great Rescuer. Of His ‘Never-Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love.’

And now “The Jesus Storybook Bible” is even more accessible.

This week’s podcast guest, author Sally Lloyd-Jones, chats with me about her newest project. . .

Same great content, new design, new title. . .for a new audience. “The Story of God’s Love for You” is now available. For the person you never would have thought to give a children’s Bible. The person who needs to hear:

“It’s not about rules, so keeping them God will love us. Or heroes we’re supposed to copy so God will love us. It’s about a God who loved us before we even knew Him. A God who will move heaven and earth to be with His children.” –Sally Lloyd-Jones

In this episode, Sally shares a little of her background and the inspiration behind “The Jesus Storybook Bible”. We also spend time talking about how God uses stories to reach our hearts.

Sally knows how to speak grace and the gospel message. Her words will feel like a deep cleansing breath. Her books are daily reminders of grace. The grace we long to show ourselves and our children.

Connect with Sally:

Story of God’s Love for You :: Site :: Facebook :: Instagram

Join our DMA Community: 

Become a DMA Insider. In 2021 Bruce and I will lead the community through a StrengthsFinder Series. Learn the 101 of StrengthsFinder. How knowing your strengths helps your marriage, parenting and career. 

Dec 14, 2020
Worth Repeating // Jess Connolly
25:00

"We can feel isolated – that’s real, but we can’t stay there. We have the entire trinity on our side, the Father loving us fiercely and making a good plan, the Holy Spirit interceding on our behalf, our coheir Christ interceding and making a way for us.

Don’t believe the lie that it’s all on your shoulders, and it’s all up to you and you have no clue where to go or what to do.  He is a very big God, and what’s better – He is incredibly near." --Jess Connolly, A Naptime Diary

This is an edited, republished episode from April 2015. 

In this episode Jess openly shares about her bouts with depression. She offers three “helps” for the gal struggling to have hope. I nodded with agreement at everything she says. 

Especially the clinging to intimacy with God part. The praying out loud, walking around your house reading Scripture part.

Cuz motherhood is no joke. There is an invisible battle raging all around us. We aren’t alone. Like Jess said we have the entire trinity on our side.

Connect with Jess here: https://jessconnolly.com/

**Starting in 2021 Don't Mom Alone Insiders in our Patreon Community will begin a "StrengthsFinder Series". Learn the 101 of StrengthsFinder, how it impacts your marriage and parenting and get direction for your life pursuits. Go to Patreon.com/DontMomAlone to learn more. **

Dec 07, 2020
How to Have Healthy Conflict :: Lynn Hoffman [Ep 307]
49:21

Between the pandemic and uncertainty of this last year and all the pressure of the upcoming holiday season, there is a lot of potential for conflict. My friend and mentor Lynn Hoffman is here with some timely advice on how to engage in this inevitable conflict in a healthy way.

We talk about doing some inner work when you feel hurt by someone or see conflict on the horizon and Lynn shares some stories of how examining her own heart and feelings have made all the difference in her own relationships. 

“It’s about recognizing that I'm a limited human being and I have a limited amount of emotional capacity. It is not infinite. So it's my responsibility. Not somebody else's to pull back and spend some time with the Lord.To do some inner work to really figure out, okay, what's going on with me and what do I need at this moment?”

Whether you find yourself in new, hard places of stress and conflict or fear the constant repeating of old woundings when interacting with family, this episode is for you. 

Questions to ask yourself in conflict:

  • What happened?
  • What do I think about this situation and person?
  • What did I want (expect)?
  • How do I feel (now and any related past feelings)

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors: 

  • Hello Bello -- Get 25% off your diaper bundle order. Plus get 15% off any add-ons. Go to hellobello.com/DMA
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  • Ancestry -- Get an Ancestry gift today with their special Holiday pricing. Ancestry.com/DMA
Nov 30, 2020
Santa or No Santa :: Ep 306
37:46

You know who is coming to town. The big man in the red suit is everywhere this time of year and each of us grew up with different traditions on how to engage with and celebrate Santa. 

My assistant Sarah-Jane and I chat about what it was like for each of us growing up with and without Santa and how we acknowledge the jolly yuletide figure with our kids without taking the focus off Jesus.

Sarah-Jane shares how her family adopted a separate holiday in December, Saint Nicholas Day, and I talk about playing the “Santa Game” with my kids. Wherever you fall on the “Santa spectrum,” we hope this conversation gives you grace to celebrate Christmas with your family with or without Santa being a major part (and give that same grace to others).

 

“Isn't it so great that God doesn't work the same way as Santa? It’s because we're so naughty that we got the gift of Jesus. It's the opposite. So I would, as a teaching moment to reemphasize the glorious grace of Jesus. Instead of thinking, I can't do Santa because it takes away from the grace of Jesus, the good news is we have a different option.”

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors: 

  • Skylight Frames --get $10 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go to SkylightFrame.com and enter code DMA.
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  • PrepDish -- Just go to Prepdish.com/shop and enter code DMA5020 at checkout to get HALF OFF meal plans (deal only lasts from Black Friday to Cyber Monday). 
Nov 23, 2020
Celebrating Advent :: Tsh Oxenreider [Ep 305]
47:38

As a mom of three small children, author and podcaster Tsh Oxenreider found Christmas a bit overwhelming and as Charlie Brown would say, “too commercial.” Year after year she found herself dreading the season and looking for simple ways to refocus the holiday on the things that mattered most. 

After living overseas for a year with her family and switching to a more liturgical church, Tsh found the centuries old observance of Advent to be the perfect way to slow down the crazy season of Christmas. She joins me to introduce Advent if you are new to it and to talk about the beautiful new Advent guide she created.

“This is for us, this is to reset our hearts and our focus to that which is the true reason we celebrate Christmas. So the thing I love about celebrating Advent in our culture is that it feels pretty counter-cultural in a world that both is focused on the gifts and is focused on the consumption parts of Christmas.”

If you’ve ever wanted to know more about the liturgical practice of Advent, this is the show for you! Tsh shares a lot of practicals and perspectives about why celebrating this separate season can help us prepare for both the celebration of Jesus’ birth and the eventual time when Christ will, one day, make all things new.

Connect with Tsh: 

Links Mentioned:  

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Nov 16, 2020
Forgiving What You Can’t Forget :: Lysa TerKeurst [Ep 304]
53:13

Do  you  ever  find  yourself  replaying  and  reliving  the details of the deepest hurt in your life? My guest today has endured a devastating, public heartbreak – and she has wrestled with the lingering,unresolved pain which followed. Author and speaker Lysa TerKeurst joins me to share part of her  journey of  learning to forgive what you can’t forget.

“I don't want to make this sound more clean and pretty than it actually was. It was hard. It was horrific. It was terrible. And walking out something as devastating as an affair in a marriage created tremendous burden and tremendous hardship. But I will say that one commitment that I made that was really important was that I can feel hurt, but I don't have to choose to live hurt. Or perpetuate that hurt into other people.”

Lysa shares vulnerably and offers advice for anyone who feels stuck in a cycle of unresolved pain. We talk about the huge help a Christian counselor has been both for Lysa and her children throughout this process and how she delved into what the Bible really says about forgiveness.

“The Bible never says that people have to forgive and forget. It actually says quite the opposite. If we can be healed of it, it is actually beneficial not to forget because it becomes a testimony that can be used in powerful ways. And that's part of the good that God can bring in our story. I think how we know that we are experiencing healing is the way that we tell the stories of our lives.”

Connect with Lysa: 

Links Mentioned:  

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  • HelloBello --Get a diaper bundle 25% off, free shipping and 15% off add-ons hellobello.com/DMA
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  • Ancestry --check out the holiday deals on Ancestry DNA products ancestry.com/DMA
Nov 09, 2020
Praying as God's Daughter :: Molly Rhodes [Ep 303]
43:40

As a long time believer, my friend Molly just couldn’t see much value in prayer. With her always on-the-go personality and her full life raising three boys with her husband, taking the time to sit in silence and pray seemed unappealing. Besides, doesn’t God already know what’s going to happen? 

But, something shifted in a big way for Molly as she started to learn more about the Holy Spirit and met a friend who prayed with power and conviction and talked about really having a relationship with God. 

“I would say that my prayers were very polite and just formal at best and just really few and far between. So I really did just kind of blow the lid off of the box that I had him in regarding prayer and just gave me this fresh perspective of going to him and communing with him…  I started to see it as this right and this privilege to pray as God's daughter.”

Since then, Molly has seen God move in powerful ways in her life through the humble act of prayer. She shares just a few of the stories of how God has used her — just a “normal mom” — to minister to others around her, even door-to-door salespersons! 

If you are feeling discouraged or need a boost in your prayer life, this is the episode for you! I pray Molly’s story gets you excited about talking with God in a new way. 

Links Mentioned: 

More on Prayer:  

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Nov 02, 2020
Your Funny Mom Stories [Ep 302]
42:11

With the heaviness of 2020 weighing on so many moms, I thought this week we should share a few laughs. My assistant Sarah-Jane Menefee joins me to share some funny mom stories we’ve experienced and stories that listeners submitted. 

We’ve got everything from simple misunderstandings to funny church stories to the ever-popular and unavoidable poop stories. I also share a tip on one way to remember the fun stories for each of your kids that doesn’t involve trying to write things down in a book. 😉

Sometimes you’ve got to laugh to keep from crying and that’s what this week is all about.

Featured Sponsors:

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    add ons like vitamins or wipes. And Free Shipping! 
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Oct 26, 2020
Sexual Identity and Radical Ordinary Hospitality :: Dr. Rosaria Butterfield [Ep 301]
51:49

Several listeners recommended Dr. Rosaria Butterfield as a guest on our recent survey. I’m so glad you did! Dr. Butterfield shares about her former life as a lesbian and professor of queer theory. In a quest to understand why Christians hated her, a neighbor introduced her Christ. Now she is an author, speaker, pastor’s wife,  adoptive mother of four and gospel advocate to her neighbors. 

She is passionate about helping Christians lovingly look past labels of sexual identity and share the gospel effectively.

“So if you know that you have neighbors who identify as lesbian. Don't avoid them. That's not what Christian neighbors do. You know? I think we really do need to see these things head on. Don't be afraid to listen to what people's concerns are and then speak a word in season. I would say too that Christians don't throw people away. We shouldn't be known for people who throw people away because they're inconvenient.”

We talk about a lot of subjects that can be difficult for us as moms to discuss, but also about how important it is that we have conversations with our kids about sexual identity, the Gospel and who God made them to be. 

“The first thing is as Christian parents, if you don't talk to your children about sexuality, Someone else will. So while we want to maintain modesty and care and age appropriateness, we absolutely do not want to shirk this responsibility. We need to foreground the beauty and the majesty and the calling of what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman.”

Connect with Dr. Butterfield: 

Links Mentioned:  

Dr. Butterfield’s Books:

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Oct 19, 2020
Healthy Habit Building :: Kat Lee [Ep 300]
49:55

Whether we like it or not we have habits that define our lives. We have habits that determine when we wake up, how we spend our time and where we focus our energy. Joining me today to talk about how to establish routines and healthy habits is my good friend Kat Lee. 

As the founder of Hello Mornings, Kat is all about helping people have a life-giving morning routine every day in as little as three minutes, but beyond just mornings, Kat has a wealth of knowledge to share on habit formation and a lot of encouragement that we can do them.

“Whatever it is that you're wanting to change or improve--whether it's your morning routine, your parenting, your marriage--whatever it might be, if you believe that it's possible with God and you have a plan and you're committed to it, then you can only progress.”

We talk about the idea of deconstructing habits we want to break to find solutions. Decision design and how our lives make habits easier or harder and we even get into a little neuroscience. 

But ultimately, Kat wants to remind me and you that God is for us and wants our time and attention.

“It's not just about the morning routine or checking anything off, but it's about tapping into the one thing that's going to help you the most each day. And I hope that if you walk away from anything from this episode, it's just that God is with you and that He is for you.”

Connect with Kat: 

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsor: 

Thrive Market -- get a free gift of up to $24 when you sign for a Thrive Market Membership. go to thrivemarket.com/DMA

Oct 12, 2020
Nurturing Your Marriage :: Brent and Janis Sharpe [Ep 299]
44:49

Marriage can be really hard. You start out so in love and excited but over time the daily strain of work, home, and parenting makes it challenging to connect with your spouse. Add a global pandemic and the strain is just overwhelming. 

My guests Brent and Janis Sharpe are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists who have been married for 42 years. They are passionate about helping couples have healthy and thriving marriages even in the hardest of times. 

“Most marriages are dealing with malnutrition. They're feeding everything else in their life… all the demands of children, the demands of taking care of a house, the demands of their job. And by the end of the day, they're just spent and they don't have much energy to move back towards each other. So finding little ways that we can move back towards one another and care for each other is significant.”

We talk about healthy habits that we start right now to give our marriages a boost and they aren’t what you might expect. What is so encouraging about the tips they share is how simple and small these habits are and the big impact they can make.

Don't miss the 90/10 lie! 

Connect with Brent and Janis: 

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors: 

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Oct 05, 2020
You Are Never Alone :: Max Lucado [Ep 298]
42:57

It was such an honor for me to chat with one of my favorite authors for this episode. Max Lucado has written almost 100 books and is a pastor at Oak Hills Church in San Antonio. We talk about his new book You Are Never Alone and he shares with so much kindness and care about how we can trust in the miracle of God’s presence — yep, even in 2020.  

Max knows God’s word and he combines meeting you where you with the truth of who God is in a powerful way as we talk about responding to loneliness as moms.

 

“I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but what if God does have a miracle? And what if God in his sovereignty can use this isolation or use this unusual circumstance to draw you closer to him and show you who he is? So rather than resist this, be open to the idea and say, Okay, Lord, I still believe you're there.”

 

If you are feeling weary with all this year has brought your way, this episode is the pep talk you need to reframe your perspective on God’s goodness and not give in to our emotions or feelings of hopelessness. 

“The message of the miracles is you're really not by yourself. You're not alone. Your heavenly father loves you and the Lord Jesus will come to you. And the Holy Spirit will empower you. Don't give in to despair now. You may feel nothing but exhaustion, but your feelings are not a barometer of the presence of God.”

Connect with Max: 

Links Mentioned:  

**Amazon affiliate links

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Sep 28, 2020
When Joy is a Struggle :: Keli Reese [Ep 297]
39:44

Keli Reese is a naturally joyful person and a teacher who loves children. She figured that motherhood would come naturally for her too. But, after having five children in five years she found herself in the midst of life and home with lots of littles and wondered where her joy had gone.

“I had this mindset of what our home was going to be like because I'm doing this for Jesus. We're going to have this wonderful home. And when things were not looking that way, when I wasn't loving getting up early; I wasn't loving the laundry that never ended; I wasn't loving potty training; (all the things that was actually happening in my real life) I found myself sinking really deep.” 

As she struggled to perform and achieve her way through motherhood and live up to the ideals she’d had before motherhood, Keli came to breaking point with God and that’s when everything changed. 

“I said God, I can't do it anymore. I cannot do it. And I can just remember the love of the Lord wrapping around me. And he reminded me that no one called me to do it all. I experienced this relief in this release of God.”

Connect with Keli: 

Links Mentioned:  

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Sep 21, 2020
Grace and Truth for Moms :: Lynne Jackson [Ep 296]
51:15

As a mom of three, Lynne Jackson struggled to maintain the order and perfection she expected to have in her life. Conflicts with her oldest son especially left her feeling defeated, angry and fearful of the future. 

“The Lord was speaking to me one day about some of these beliefs that I had. And in Ephesians 4:15, it talks about speaking the truth in love. And I felt like I heard his voice say, you are not speaking the truth in love to yourself, about you and your kids. And then I went on a journey to figure out what was really true.”

Lynne shares how she learned to fight back against the toxic lies she believed about herself and her kids with God’s truth.  We talk about practical ways we can take time to process our feelings with God and with others so we can let go of expectations that hurt our families and can find freedom in our identity in Christ.

“The goal to have perfect kids and be a perfect mom is just a setup for anger and despair. And it's actually idolatry. The real truth that helps us let go of that chronic anger is it's my job to parent wisely. My kid's job is to learn over time, to respond wisely. And that's a process.”

Connect with Lynne: 

Links Mentioned:  

More Episodes with the Jacksons:  

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Sep 14, 2020
Practicing Faith Through Fear :: Dominique Young [Ep 295]
44:38

As minister and mom of one with another child on the way, Dominique Young looked like she had it all together —  great job, great family, great ministry. But a few months into her second pregnancy she started experiencing postpartum psychosis, high anxiety and began hearing voices.

The feelings she always tried to mask or hide behind helpful scriptures could not be controlled anymore, but she started to find breakthrough when she learned that her real problem was fear.

“I always thought faith was easy. If I just said something and I kept moving, then God, on the back end, without my knowledge would take out all the fear. All I had to do is quote enough scripture. And what God began to show me is that he wanted me to have faith that he is God, so that I could just be human.”

We talk about her experience of getting a new perspective on faith, learning to experience emotions in a healthy way, and allowing herself to rely on others more and she started her journey toward health and wholeness. Now, she helps other moms do the same with her online community of Faith Mamas.

Connect with Dominique Young: 

Links Mentioned:  

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Sep 07, 2020
Shaping Your Family Culture :: Kimberly Amici [Ep 294]
45:51

Kimberly Amici wanted her family to live by a set of values and a mission. So, she sat down with her husband and wrote out her ideas and expectations. But, in the midst of their busy life raising three kids and “going with the flow,” the Amici family didn’t have a set purpose or culture and it showed.

However, through a series of ongoing conversations as a family, Kimberly has been able to identify a few areas of purpose that are now a part of her family’s culture. It took having more in-depth conversations to get buy-in from kids to really identify and own their unique family culture.

Now, Kimberly provides coaching and resources that help others build their best families by having these conversations, choosing a few values to focus on and making small steps towards those values each day.  

“The routines that we've put in place, these small steps that we take every day is what builds culture. It's not some big campaign saying we're going to transform our lives and become this other family. It's these teeny, tiny steps along the way.”

Connect with Kimberly Amici: 

Links Mentioned:  

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Aug 31, 2020
Choose What Matters to YOU :: Kendra Adachi [Ep 293]
01:04:08

(If you struggle with how to manage distance learning and working from home...listen to Kendra "lazy genius" that situation for me)

Kendra Adachi also known as the Lazy Genius calls herself a professional permission giver. And she’s here to give us permission to be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don’t.

“I've come to this place of realizing we do not need another life hack. MacGyvering together a list of hacks and inspirational quotes isn’t going to get you a life that is wholehearted and anchored in what matters to you. That's why you're tired because that doesn't work.”

That sounds great, but the hard part is choosing what matters to YOU. We talk about how Kendra learned to let go of the expectations of doing everything well as a mom and how her Lazy Genius principles can help others get the same freedom.

She helps me “lazy genius” my life when it comes to the constant interruptions of parenting and virtual schooling as a work-at-home mom with some solutions that are both practical and soulful. I hope this conversation is helpful to many of you as we head into a fall season full of unknowns. 

My key takeaways:

  • Make house rules that serve you and your sanity
  • Breath prayer when you feel scattered or like everything needs your attention: Lord, open my eyes to what matters right now. 

Connect with Kendra: 

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsors: 

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Aug 24, 2020
Week Six Summer of Mentorship 2020 :: Stacey Thacker
46:58

When I recorded this interview in 2015 I had no idea just two years later my father would pass away. Stacey's wisdom on grief became my lifeline.

This year with so many losses our hearts have experienced constant, low-level grief. On top of being quarantined, some of you may have lost loved ones. As moms, you've been unable to have time/space to grieve (or have a formal memorial service).

Today’s podcast guest is my soul sister friend, Stacey Thacker. She and I have been chatting about life, Jesus and family for the many years. Stacey writes online and has authored several books (a new one releasing in just a few months--Threadbare Prayer). When we conducting this interview Stacey shared so much of what she had learned from the loss of her father.

Since the interview she's experienced additional trauma and grief. Through it all she remains tethered to her faithful God. She is wise and can be trusted.  

My hope is whether you are the one who has experienced loss or not, you will be encouraged that even when our worst fears are realized, God’s grace is ever present. And as Stacey points out:

“He holds all things together. And all things means all things.”

What we chat about:

  • How the message of Stacey’s book, “Hope for the Weary Mom” became real
  • How do moms grieve while handling the dailiness of motherhood
  • What actions and words of friends comforted her the most
  • How children grieve differently
  • How to be available and present with a grieving friend
  • What moments over the course of the year bring back grief
  • How do you manage your home when one child has to be hospitalized
  • How God holds all things together

Connect with Stacey:

Site :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Pinterest

Links Mentioned:

**Amazon affiliate links

Featured Sponsor: PrepDish get two weeks of FREE meal plans if you go to http://prepdish.com/dma 

Aug 10, 2020
Week Five Summer of Mentorship 2020 Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith
52:57

As moms, we know we need rest. We usually equate rest with sleep or rest with a vacation, but this week’s guest shares a much bigger picture of our need for rest in multiple areas of our lives. 

Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith is a medical doctor, wife and mother to two boys. She had everything she’d dreamed of and worked hard to achieve, but wasn’t enjoying it. 

“So I kept pushing and pushing myself till I got to the point where I literally just burned out. I wasn't happy with my job. I couldn't see how my marriage would survive. I didn't want my kids anymore. I was just at the end of myself. I didn't want the life I created.”

After reaching this breaking point, she went on a journey of restoration and healing where she learned to connect with God and with his plan for rest. Now she shares her research and methods with her patients and with all of us. If you’ve ever felt tired and at the end of yourself, this episode is for you. 

“We already have permission to rest, but the mommy guilt that sometimes comes tells us we don’t. That is really a lie. I look at it as the John 10:10. The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. And he's doing it to a lot of us through our inability to rest, our inability to trust God that when we lay things down that he is able to uphold them.”

What we chat about:

  • When Saundra reached her breaking point from stress and lack of true rest
  • We have physical limits to what we can do as moms 
  • How Saundra researched rest and looked at scripture for clarity on how God rested
  • The seven types of rest are physical, to mental, spiritual, emotional, social, sensory and creative.
  • The difference between a vacation and resting
  • Paying attention to a place that feels painful in your body in the moment vs ignoring it
  • Finding emotional rest through connection with friends, even through video chat if getting together is impossible
  • The importance of authentic, open friendships with women who can relate to your life situation
  • Ideas on how to stay engaged with your husband and reignite your marriage
  • Putting limits on social media time so that your mind has down time
  • Tips for getting mental rest and release ideas that make your mind race
  • Sensory rest-- what it is and ways to get it
  • It is not selfish to prioritize resting. It keeps you from having a toxic reaction to those around you.

Links Mentioned: 

Website: http://ichoosemybestlife.com/

Book: http://ichoosemybestlife.com/sacred-rest/ 

Quiz: http://restquiz.com/ 

Featured Sponsor: BetterHelp

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Aug 03, 2020
Week Four Summer of Mentorship 2020 :: Sally Clarkson
38:02

Sippy cup refill requests. Another load of laundry to fold. A sibling dispute.

Ever feel like you are reacting to life? Life is coming at you and you respond.

There have been many times in my mothering where instead of joy & hope I feel beat down and unfulfilled.

One woman who has whispered beauty and calm into those dark places, is today’s podcast guest, Sally Clarkson.

She told me motherhood can be more than just doing the dishes. It is an important job, guiding souls through discipleship and love. She taught me that my hard-to-handle boy may need me to sympathize more than instruct. She agreed boys may be a little wild. . .but showed me they can be civil & sip tea.

When I was coming out of a time of “not feeling like myself” Sally showed me how to own my life. To drop the negative thoughts which held me back. To consider what I wanted my days to look like and then make them happen.

He is the living, vibrant not-to-be-contained God. The more I would ponder God and engage with him in my own heart, the more my kids were drawing from me all the excellencies and realities of God. When we are passionate and filled with the Holy Spirit, our children will be exposed to the living God.

Sally has written her encouragement into a book called, “Own Your Life” (2015).

In this podcast episode, which originally aired January 6, 2015, I asked Sally all-the-things I’ve been pondering, from how to help your children really “know” God to simple advice on transforming a hard mom day.

What we talk about:

  • Why I struggle to read Sally’s books at the end of hard days.
  • Every mom has her own mom personality.
  • In spite of our mom errors, children can learn our hearts
  • How do we help our children “Yadah” God…to know Him personally
  • Living a life of color & taste & joy so our children see & know the goodness of the Lord.
  • How we are motivated…not by guilt or checklists but by love & encouragement.
  • Balancing grace & truth in parenting–practicing patience & love takes time.
  • Definition of the phrase “own your life”-
  • Sally’s example of a friend who “owns her life” in a special way why she serves her son with a disability.
  • In an immediate gratification society, not forgetting the long term process of your life. growing day by day, little by little.
  • Making sure you make time for yourself, to fill up before you pour out to the little people in your life.
  • Common barriers to owning your life.
  • Sally’s advice to a mom who was depressed<–LOVED THIS
  • Importance of believing the right philosophy–God is for you.

Connect with Sally:

Blog :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Instagram

Links:

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Jul 27, 2020
Week Three Summer of Mentorship 2020 Francie Winslow
48:33

(This episode originally aired in 2016) Francie Winslow shares the exponential impact marital intimacy has on the world around us.

Sex is a multiplying factor in our lives, not just with producing kids, but producing a massive amount of connection.

In the past two years Francie has been doing extensive research on theology of the body. Exploring how God stamped His image on us. How we express our roles as image bearers through sex in marriage.

God is an invisible God who wants to make himself visible to us. When man and woman come together as one it’s his invitation for humanity to become one with God. Intimately connected with Him.

Francie shares their own family stress and her personal struggle with anxiety. Things that can disrupt marital connection. She vulnerably shares how she and her husband have purposefully chosen sex over isolation.

God’s training us to fight for connection and for each other instead of against each other.

Love Francie’s practical tips for keeping technology in check. So often screens and devices creep in between couples, increasing the distance and decreasing the intimacy.

Don’t miss the list of great resources below to help train your children in forming a healthy perspective of the body and sex.

What we chat about:

  • Francie’s journey to learn sex isn’t dirty or a duty but a delight.
  • Her recent study of theology of the body.
  • How anxiety and adoption stress led Francie and her husband to choose to have more sex (you read that right).
  • How technology impacts our marital connection and practical solutions
  • Help and healing for women who struggle with their view of sex.
  • A reminder to daily do the things that keep you alive as a person.
  • The Ripple Effect of sex in marriage.
  • A word of encouragement for the single mom.
  • Training our kiddos in a healthy sexual worldview (check out Francie’s resource list below).

Connect with Francie:

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Links Mentioned:

Francie’s Resource List:

Get these books (as many as you can!) and read them over and over and over.  They are great for a range of ages – not just toddlers.  Not only will it help form a great spiritual foundation for your kids as they enter a sexually intense world as kids (sadly it happens young these days), it will help you as a grown up re-learn how to think about bodies, sexuality and identity.  It will also help give you simple, common language to use on an everyday basis in your home.  They have all been such a big part of us growing in this new way of seeing the gift of sex as a family.

For older kids:

Theology of His Body/Theology of Her Body** by Jason Evert (This was written with college kids in mind, but I found it super helpful and use it woven into conversations with my kids.)

For those who want more depth…Theology of the Body for Beginners** by Christopher West

**Amazon Affiliate Link

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Jul 20, 2020
Week Two Summer of Mentorship 2020 :: Dorena Williamson
48:27

Many of us avoid and struggle with conversations about race or disabilities because it’s uncomfortable. When our children ask innocent questions about someone who is different than they are, it can make us feel tongue tied or embarrassed.

Author Dorena Williamson has created some lovely children’s books to help parents respond and invite their children to join them on the journey of learning to love and speak worth over every person that God created.

And I kept feeling frustrated thinking that’s not the solution to teach your children to be colorblind because that’s minimizing the beauty of God’s handiwork. And as Christians we should be the biggest proponents of celebrating the beauty of our racial diversity and not minimizing it or sort of washing it away and this colorblind land.

She shares powerfully about how to engage with your children about racial and cultural differences and how we can model what it looks like to grow in the area of loving and accepting people who are different than us.

As our children get older, I think that these are valuable conversations to have with them because the beauty of it is that it tells your children you are teachable and that you don’t get it right all the time and that you’re continuing to learn and grow.

What we chat about:

  • All about Dorena’s family and their multiracial church, Strong Tower Bible Church
  • Her book ColorFull and the background behind why she wrote it
  • The creativity of God and how he uses color in all that he created
  • Looking for opportunities to share the beauty of racial differences with our children
  • Language for parents to use to help teach children and avoid shaming
  • Reinforcing the idea that “Different is not bad” and calling out the worth of people
  • Why equipping kids early is important
  • Modeling how we are all growing when it comes to loving and accepting people who are different than us
  • Encouraging our children to ask questions even when they are uncomfortable
  • Engaging with our kids about other cultures whether we can travel internationally or experience cultures in our own cities

Connect with Dorena:

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Links Mentioned:

Other books/sites that Dorena recommends: 
Jul 13, 2020
Week One Summer of Mentorship 2020 :: Rachel Anne Ridge
35:59

Rachel Anne Ridge is an author, professional artist, and speaker in Texas. Together with her husband Tom, she bootstrapped her way through the Great Recession, raised a family, and rediscovered her purpose in the midst of the everyday juggle of life. Her books, Flash, The Homeless Donkey Who Taught Me About Life, Faith, and Second Chances, and Walking with Henry are inspired by the stray donkeys (yes, donkeys) who interrupted her juggling act and revealed how ordinary (and sometimes hilarious) events help us find our higher purposes and deeper faith. Rachel is mom to three adult children and Nana to five littles.

 

Little did I know when I asked Rachel to be on the podcast, that the day before our interview she wrote a viral blog post encouraging the lonely mom of older kids (click here to read it).

 

Her honest, yet hopeful words, are what I’m sure caused 37,000 + people on Facebook to like her words. She admits the hard parts but encourages moms to keep their eyes on the bigger purpose.

Show Highlights: 

  • Rachel shares personal parenting challenges and what she (and her husband) did to overcome them.
  • Discover a variety of ways to get God-centered (none of which include getting up early).
  • Hear Rachel’s parenting regret and advice on how to avoid it.
  • Be encouraged by Rachel’s greatest parenting strength.
  • For the mom of older children, listen to Rachel’s thoughts on how discipline changes during this stage to a coaching role
  • Most importantly hear the Truth of God’s great love for you and your family.

Links: 

Connect with Rachel:

Blog :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Pinterest :: Instagram

Featured Sponsor: 

Thrive Market  go to https://thrivemarket.com/dma use DMA to get $20 of store credit. 

Jul 06, 2020
How to Avoid Power Struggles :: Stacy Bellward and Chad Hayenga [Ep 292]
41:28

With more family togetherness than ever before comes the potential for a lot more arguing and nagging our kids to obey. If you’re stuck in a parenting rut or negative cycle, then our friends from Connected Families are here to help. 

Stacey Bellward and Chad Hayenga join me to talk about breaking the patterns of defensiveness in our kids and how the power of curious questions can create productive conversations and build wisdom.

“I think as we look at scripture and we consider how Jesus approached people, you know, it was surprising to me when I first learned that Jesus asked 307 questions that are recorded in the gospels. And that's a lot of questioning. And we think about Jesus as being a great teacher. Jesus is a great teacher, but he often times uses questions to build wisdom and to hold people accountable.”

If you want to go deeper after listening to this show, Connected Families is offering a special promo code for Don’t Mom Alone listeners for their Power of Questions online course. With the code DMA20 it’s just $30. 

Connect with Connected Families: 

 

Links Mentioned:  

 

Featured Sponsor:

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Jun 29, 2020
Focus on Growth vs Guilt :: Lisa Bevere [Ep 291]
43:01

Author and speaker Lisa Bevere is back to give us a powerful message as we head into summer with our kids: “push aside the guilt and celebrate growth.”

She shares some personal stories from very hard places in her life as a young mom and how God led her to work through her anger and underlying fears. 

“God said to me: ‘Children inherit one of two things, either my promises or your fears.’ And that I needed to face off with these things. I leaned into that process because of my son. Not because of me. I just came to the place where I realized that in my weakness, he is strong. I've watched God take every weak place in my life and inhabit it with his strength.”

I’m so thankful for how Lisa takes us into her story and points to God’s faithfulness to heal and restore our brokenness. She also encourages all of us to set aside the unnecessary guilt and heavy expectations we may be carrying in motherhood and to accept God’s mercy which is new every morning. 

Connect with Lisa: 

Links Mentioned:  

Sponsors:

Jun 22, 2020
Build Lasting Faith in Your Kids :: Dr. Kara Powell [Ep 290]
44:46

From learning to walk to tying their shoes and eventually learning to drive (coming up for me soon!), so much of parenting is teaching, training and encouragement. 

When it comes to faith in God, we do all we can to teach our kids about God’s Word and engage kids in church, but research from the Fuller Youth Institute is helping to shine a light on the potential gaps that cause a high number of youth to abandon their faith in college.

My guest Dr. Kara Powell shares a number of research findings that can be game changers for our families as we seek to help our kids develop a faith that sticks with them their whole lives, or “sticky faith.” As a mom of three, she talks about how she’s parented differently in light of her research and why now is the perfect time to start making small changes that could make all the difference.

 

“One of the things that surprised me in our research is that when young people feel close to their parents, they're also more open to what's important to their parents, including their faith. And so it's not just good for our family relationships. It's also good for the long-term trajectory of our kids.”

Connect with the Fuller Youth Institute: 

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Sponsor: Text DMA to 303030 to get a free trial of Beachbody On-Demand

Jun 15, 2020
Strengthening Our Friendships :: Susan Seay [Ep 289]
45:37

Deep friendships are essential to our lives. Whether we’re extroverted or introverted, have a lot of friends or a few, we all need someone else to walk through life with. I’m excited for you to hear from Susan Seay, a mom of 7 and a mentor to many. She shares some great advice on keeping our friendships strong during life’s challenges.

“We're all in the same storm. We're just not all dealing with it in the same way. We don't even have the same viewpoint on just how big this issue is or how small it is. If I need to remember, that's not why I chose them as friends. I didn't choose them because we agree on everything. We're always going to be different and unique and varied. It's our foundation that keeps our relationship strong.”

We talk about fighting back against insecurity and comparison which can break down friendships. And we get into how to have a healthy disagreement with a friend and stay close. Susan also shares tips for staying connected with friends and extending grace for misunderstandings and miscommunications that happen in our hyper-connected world. 

Connect with Susan: 

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Jun 08, 2020
Working from Home :: Jehava Brown [Ep 288]
36:50

My guest today Jehava Brown takes us into how she started a blog as a side project while staying home with her kids and transitioned that site into a full-time job. 

We talk about work/life balance, setting health boundaries and trusting God to be in charge of the things we can’t control.  

“I know that God is the one who provides every job and every dime. And so when I can rest in that, I don't feel the pressure to hustle 24 hours a day. I was working sometimes even 60 hours a week, which was just crazy. And most of it was at night, so it wasn't getting good sleep. I realized I'm not willing to live that way. So I really had to trust God to a different level”

Jehava is a mom of three boys and she blogs at www.onlygirl4boyz.com. She also shares how she’s connecting with her teenage son differently and some changes she’s made since the quarantine to keep up with housework.

Connect with Jehava: 

Jun 01, 2020
Tough Transitions with Toddlers and Newborns :: Hailey Bain and Meredith Woodruff [Ep 287]
40:22

In the past two years, a lot has changed in the lives of my friends Hailey and Meredith. They came on episode 199 to talk about discipline and toddlers. Since that conversation their families have grown and changed. 

Today we’re chatting about tough transitions with parenting young kids. Whether it’s a newborn who won’t stop screaming or the anticipation of being outnumbered by a third child, change is hard for both parents and kids. 

Hailey and Meredith share how they’ve found hope in God during some difficult situations and how their community of friends have helped them not mom alone. 

“They reminded me that God is working in this. He has not left you. He is working in this situation. And that gave me a lot of hope. One specific friend said: You are serving the Lord when you are holding your screaming baby, when you are in there trying to teach her how to go to sleep. That is service to the Lord.”

 

Links Mentioned:  

Discipline & Toddlers :: Hailey Bain & Meredith Woodruff [Ep 199]

Meredith shared scripture from Lamentations 3:16-24

Foundations Book by Ruth and Troy Simons **

Meredith's business : Concrete Conversations

Hailey's business : Hey Honey Clothing Company and her Facebook Store

Sponsors:

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Exploring the Bible Together --Now through May 25, 2020, Don’t Mom Alone listeners can pick up a copy of Exploring the Bible Together along with a selection of ESV children’s Bibles for 40% off with a free Crossway+ membership. For more information, visit  crossway.org/DMA8

May 25, 2020
Reflecting on Financial Priorities :: Ericka Young [Ep 286]
35:41

During the ongoing health crisis of COVID-19, there are a lot of changes in household finances. Maybe grocery and electric bills have gone up because everyone is home. You or your spouse may have a reduction in income or you’ve faced losing your job. 

In the same way we work to protect ourselves with social distancing and wearing masks in public, there are some important things we can do to protect our finances and take time to reflect on where our money goes each month. Financial coach Ericka Young joins me to talk about budgets, cutting costs and how we can use this time to reprioritize.

“This is the perfect time to reflect on what it is that you really want, why you want it. And I think if people reflect on what their goals were in the beginning of the year and make certain that this season doesn't derail their progress. We can start looking on the bright side and ask God what he has next for us.” 

Ericka is the owner of Tailor-Made Budgets and has a passion for helping people pay off debt. Listen to how she and her husband paid off almost $100,000 in episode 244.

Connect with Ericka: 

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Sponsors: 

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May 18, 2020
The Good God Wants for Our Families :: Paul David Tripp [Ep 285]
54:36

With the current global pandemic, we are all together more than ever and it’s causing friction in our relationship with our spouse and kids. Back by popular demand, Paul David Tripp is here to answer your parenting and marriage questions and give us hope for how God can grow good things in our families during this challenging time

“One of the things that I've tried to keep in mind as we're going through this unprecedented thing is what the cross of Jesus Christ teaches us. God can produce very good things out of very bad things. So I want to ask the question, what is the good that God wants for my marriage and my parenting out of this?”

We talk about building trust and unity in a marriage, making a plan with your spouse for parenting and discipline and the three stages of parenting from a Gospel perspective. It’s my hope that this episode will fill you with fresh faith for what is possible in your family. 

Connect with Paul David Tripp: 

Listen to previous Paul David Tripp episodes:

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  • Exploring the Bible Together --now through May 18, 2020, Don’t Mom Alone listeners can pick up a copy of Exploring the Bible Together along with a selection of ESV children’s Bibles for 40% off with a free Crossway+ membership. For more information, visit crossway.org/DMA6

  • Thrive Market -- Go to ThriveMarket.com/DMA. Join today and you’ll get up to twenty dollars in shopping credit toward your first order. 
May 11, 2020
When You Carry the Burden of Perfection :: Aubrie Norman [Ep 284]
41:06

I’m so excited to introduce you to my friend Aubrie Norman. We have walked together in community for a few years and it’s been a gift to see her family’s journey toward healing. 

Aubrie and her husband Thomas came to their marriage from broken families and felt the weight of unresolved issues from their past. As their family grew, so did the stress and lack of communication about each of their emotional needs.

Aubrie carried every perceived failure in marriage and parenting thinking it was her responsibility to make life better.

“There's obviously something I'm doing wrong. I'm a new wife and mom, so I felt the weight of responsibility. That really goes back to a huge lie, I have believed for a long time in my walk with the Lord. That it's up to me to do something and that God's waiting on me.”

She takes us into her family’s story of recovery and how she’s learned to trust God to take care of her relationships.

 

Links Mentioned:  

Sponsors:  

Sun Basket -- www.sunbasket.com/dma 

Crossway --  Exploring the Bible Together along with a selection of ESV children’s Bibles for 40% off with a free Crossway+ membership. For more information, visit crossway.org/DMA5.

May 04, 2020
Embracing the Mom You're Meant to Be :: Jo Saxton [Ep 283]
47:24

Have you ever questioned the roles you find yourself in, wondering if you were made for more?  Jo Saxton found herself in that position a few years (and two babies) into her marriage. She shares her struggle to own her calling and gifting, choose to work outside the home, and how her family thrived when she let go of fear.

Fear is not our friend. It has these aggressive ways that intimidate you and it has these quiet ways where you just don't do things and you don't know that that kind of checking out. It is a fear-based thing because it's so automatic. You don't even call it fear anymore. They're just the things you don't do and the ideas you don't entertain anymore.

Now as a leadership coach and speaker, Jo affirms that God designed women for influence and impact. In her new book, Ready to Rise, she shares meaningful wisdom from her journey to leadership and shares information to empower other women to leaders in their own communities. 

Connect with Jo: 

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Apr 27, 2020
Many Hues, One Humanity :: Dr. Lucretia Berry [Ep 282]
48:33

Dr. Lucretia Berry is the founder of Brownicity, an online space that provides education and support for racial healing. She joins me to share how we all can take steps to advocate and bring restoration to our communities that have been fractured by the lies and injustice of racism. 

As a mom of a multi-ethinic family, Lucretia shares how she and her husband addressed how they would teach their children about race. They didn’t want to teach their daughters to be “colorblind,” but instead wanted to talk about the many hues of humanity in a healthy way that cultivated life and beauty.

When that conversation extended beyond their family, Brownicity was born. Since then, Lucretia has authored a study, created an online course and spoken at many events to spread this antiracism information in a way that is accessible for everyone. 

It isn't about if you're racist or not, it's not even about that. You know, this is about how we've been molded and shaped. There are all these decisions that I've made in my life that are based on how I've been racialized and not necessarily my God-given identity. We all have this work to do, to detox from the ideology that we’ve been swimming in for the past 400 years or so. We've inherited it. But God is greater, so we have hope that we can create something new.

To access her courses for free in the month of April and May, learn more here. 

Connect with Lucretia: 

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Apr 20, 2020
Enneagram and Stress :: Ian Morgan Cron [BONUS]
36:15

In this bonus episode, we are sharing information from a session Ian Morgan Cron did on Enneagram and Stress. We go through each Enneagram number and talk about their strengths and weaknesses under pressure and some simple ways for each type to flourish in these hard times  

As we’ve said in previous episodes, the Enneagram is just a tool to help us understand ourselves and others better. At a time when being quarantined at home can cause all kinds of friction, understanding each other’s unique perspective on the world is such a gift. 

And the goal isn’t to stay stuck in our Enneagram number. The ultimate goal is to move toward health/wholeness and follow Jesus. 

“Jesus doesn’t have an Enneagram number. The wholeness of God is in him and he is at the center of all the nine types.”

Connect with Ian Morgan Cron: 

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Sponsor a Child with Compassion

Text HEATHER to 83393, and you’ll get a link back to a child you can sponsor.

Go to compassion.com/dontmomalone to start sponsoring a child.  

 

Apr 17, 2020
Keeping Minds Healthy During Crisis :: Dr. Henry Cloud Recap [Ep281]
37:47

We’re all processing the changes that the COVID-19 pandemic has made to our daily routines. As we adjust to the new normal of sheltering-in-place, I wanted to share some information I’ve found helpful from Dr. Henry Cloud.

On a recent webinar I attended, Dr. Cloud talked through the psychology and the science of all that’s happening in our brains as our worlds have been turned upside down. He shares great ways to help us and our families stay mentally healthy during this unique time in history. (or during any time of crisis)

“We need to view ourselves like a house in how we're experiencing COVID-19 matters. The foundation of a house or a human is this sense of bondedness and connectedness to God and people. Relationships are vital to our structural integrity. ”

Connect with Dr. Henry Cloud: 

Links Mentioned:  

Sponsor a Child with Compassion

Text HEATHER to 83393, and you’ll get a link back to a child you can sponsor.

Go to compassion.com/dontmomalone to start sponsoring a child.  

Apr 13, 2020
Choosing Connection Over Critique :: Rachel Macy Stafford [Ep 280]
51:25

Rachel’s 'Hands Free Mama' mentality is all about finding balance in a media-saturated, perfection-obsessed world. And it’s about seizing the little moments that life offers us to engage in real and meaningful interaction.

In this episode, Rachel shares realizing she 'd lost connection with her people. How she believed a lie that in order to be loved and accepted she needed to hide certain parts of herself, the messy parts, the imperfect parts. A pivotal moment happened when she vulnerably shared these thoughts with her daughter and found acceptance.

“Opening that door to being human actually brings us closer together. Then we can connect from that place of 'I'm struggling' and that doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. That doesn't mean I need to hide it. It means I need to reach out and talk to someone about this so we can work together to see how we might go forward.”

We dive into what Rachel’s learned in her parenting journey as a mom of teens and preteens. She talks about how choosing true connection with our kids can bring them closer to us and keep the lines of communication open as they grow up. 

“This is all about redefining what our role is as a parent. It is not the authoritarian model anymore. It is the guide, the truth teller and the encourager. Not the enforcer, not the half listener, not the critic. That those roles are only going to get us further and further from each other when the idea is right now we need to come closer.”

Connect with Rachel: 

FREE LIVE LOVE NOW LISTENING PLAN: 

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Apr 06, 2020
Listening to the Lord :: Kelsey Phillips [Ep 279]
47:58

A few years ago, my friend Kelsey Philips hit a crisis in her life. She felt physically unwell, depressed and desperate for healing. She connected with a missionary couple from her church who prayed with her and over her for two hours. It was in that prayer time that Kelsey recognized God’s voice for the first time.

He had been speaking to me for a long time. I just didn't know it was him. When you have an encounter like that, he speaks to these places that are so deep. He is healing wounds that are so far back and he is breaking you free of chains that are so heavy and hard and real. You don't ever want to go back to a place where you don't have that.

As we are in a worldwide crisis with the COVID-19 pandemic, I’m asking you to listen to Kelsey’s story with an open heart and mind. I believe we can hear God’s voice and that he is still speaking today. As Kelsey reminds us, there’s no better time than now to practice listening to the Lord. 

“It does require solitude and quiet and that is not our nature. But here we are in a season where we are in worldwide rest. We are forced into this place of quiet. We've all had to come off of the hamster wheel and this has been an incredible time to allow space to listen to him about what he's doing on so many levels.”

Links Mentioned:  

Additional Resources:

Mar 30, 2020
Faith in the Unexpected :: Christine Caine [Re-Run]
41:32

In light of an unexpected time in history, our team thought we all need to be reminded of the Truth of who God is and to have our faith emboldened. This episode stood out as the perfect one to re-release. This conversation originally aired Spring of 2018.

Powerhouse Christine Caine shares how she let go of fear and found faith for when the unexpected happened. Lots of truth and encouragement here for anyone who has encountered fear in parenting, a medical diagnosis and rejection in friendships… so all of us!

"Jesus never said we’re not going to have trials. He said, 'When trials come', not if, but when. I think sometimes as believers we forget that, but we have a grace within it. I think part of our testimony to a lost and broken world is the way we go through it."

What we chat about:

  • Christine Caine’s new book, Unexpected
  • Emboldening our faith and letting go of fear in motherhood
  • Trusting that God will fill in the gaps of what we’re able to do as parents
  • Basic spiritual practices can be some of the most powerful things in our lives
  • Facing painful actualites in a fallen world
  • Christine’s reaction to her cancer diagnosis
  • Jesus is the name above all other names, including cancer
  • Having a “faith cocoon” of friends to encourage you in the face of fear
  • Enduring suffering as Christians
  • Giving in to the pain and fear and suffering is not the answer
  • We serve a God who is bigger!
  • Godly motherhood in this generation is harder than it’s ever been
  • Leaning in with a spirit of faith and not pulling back with a spirit of fear
  • We’re called to train our children up and not restrain their giftings
  • Dealing with rejection in friendship and moving forward

Connect with Chris:

Links Mentioned: 

Mar 23, 2020
Giving Kids a Firm Foundation :: Troy Simons [Ep 278]
44:45

So much of parenting can feel like constantly disciplining our kids for their behaviors. This sets up a system of praise for good behavior, but doesn’t address the heart of our kids. 

As the Bible says in Isaiah 29:13, “The Lord says: "These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught.”

As followers of Jesus, I know that we want more for our kids than to just acknowledge God with their lips. My talk today with Troy Simons has some practical advice and encouragement for us on how to have heart-level conversations about the Gospel with our kids.

You'll find that your understanding of who God is and what he's done with the Gospel will be there. And you'll find that coming out in your conversation with your kid. Be humble enough to be transparent about when you've been rebuked. You know, it may be some deep-seated, long struggling issue in your life. That kind of candor and response with our kids and conversation is just gold for them. It wins their hearts and shows them the influence of God’s word.

Learn more about Troy and Ruth’s new easy-to-read family devotion book that includes Scripture, devotional thoughts, and discussion questions for leading your family through 12 Biblical Truths.

Connect with the Troy: 

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Mar 16, 2020
Postpartum Depression :: Brittany Turner [Ep 277]
45:37

As difficult as pregnancy and birth tend to be, the postpartum period can be the hardest of all. After all the anticipation you finally have your baby! But many women don’t feel like themselves. They feel sad or hopeless and struggle to connect with their babies. 

My guest Brittany J. Turner takes us into her story of postpartum depression and what it took for her to start a journey towards wholeness.

For me it was years of pain that I had never dealt with. They were feeding this lie that I was alone, that I was unworthy of being loved, not just in my marital and parenting relationships, but I was unworthy of being loved as a daughter, as a friend and that I deserve to be alone. And so therapy was my escape.

While postpartum depression can’t totally be prevented or even predicted, we also talk about what went differently after she had her next child and the big part friendships and deeper community played.

Connect with the Brittany: 

 Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsor: Seek and Find Bible

Go to crossway.org/DMA3 to save 40% off ESV children's Bibles now until March 16th. 

Mar 09, 2020
Answering Your Questions :: Heather MacFadyen [Ep 276]
38:57

This week Don’t Mom Alone’s host Heather MacFadyen answers your questions! She shares everything from a favorite weeknight recipe to her personal testimony of faith and what worship song she has on repeat.

“That song to me just takes you to a place of setting aside all distraction and anything that's trying to pull you from his presence and his get you to a place of listening. I think sitting and listening to the Lord is probably where are we all struggle the most these days. We want to study, we want to check off something off a list, but to still ourselves and listen is really hard.”


If you have questions on helping your kids bond, how to find time to read the Bible while you’re raising little kids or want to know some of Heather’s favorite podcast guests, listen in!

(Big thanks to my virtual assistant Sarah-Jane Menefee for playing the role of host in this episode! She did a fantastic job!)

Connect with the Heather: 

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Featured Sponsor: ESV Seek and Find Bible crossway.org/DMA2 to save 40% off by March 9th. 

Mar 02, 2020
Coping Mechanisms, Recovery and Codependency :: Taylor Bashta [Ep 275]
50:42

Twelve years into her marriage, Taylor Bashta knew that something was wrong. Her husband who had always been a casual drinker had become more and more dependent on alcohol. She started Googling, “What is an alcoholic?” and wondered what she should do to intervene. 

Taylor bravely takes us into her story to share what she did next and how setting firm boundaries and seeking help took both her and her husband on a journey of healing. Now, one year later, she shares what’s made the biggest impact and what they are doing to continue their healing.

“He is the only person in charge of his recovery. And I am the only person in charge of mine. We can not let each other effect that. I still live wondering what we’d do if he relapses. I think that's one of the scariest parts of recovery. AA’s big slogan is 'One Day at a Time.' So that’s what we’re focused on. Just one day at a time.”

Taylor talks about how we can support friends who may be going through this type of situation and how sharing openly can make all the difference.  

“Hiding is what kills us inside. And our hiding is what invites that shame, guilt, and condemnation. When you put it out there, it's gone. You're putting away gossip, you're putting away just the pressure. When you name it, it takes the power out of it.” 

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Feb 24, 2020
Training an Oppositional Child (Bonus Episode) Dr. Scott Turansky
13:04

During the last 10 minutes of my conversation with Dr. Turansky I asked him about how to train a child with oppositional behavior. He mentioned 7 different tools. With each tool there are several resources available through his website (https://www.biblicalparenting.org/). 

Please listen to Ep 274 for the rest of the conversation. 

Feb 21, 2020
Training a Child's Heart :: Dr. Scott Turansky [Ep 274]
42:39

When a child disobeys, our knee-jerk reaction is typically to discipline with consequences. It’s probably how we were parented and seems like the best choice at the moment. But what if we took a different approach? 

My guest Scott Turansky has some exciting, hope-filled news for us. We can look at our child’s behavior and identify a heart attitude that needs training. Changing their attitudes or internal motivations is what will drive external or behavioral change. 

“I would suggest that parents move to consequences too quickly and that another approach is needed to make a lasting change in a child's heart. If we strategically focus on the heart of a child and use techniques that are more internally-focused, we can see some really significant things take place.”

Scott is an expert in parenting. He literally teaches college courses on it. He’s the director at the National Center for Biblical Parenting, the author of several books and a father of five. Scott shares a lot of wisdom and practical advice for moving our kids from a place of defiance and disobedience to an attitude of honor and selflessness. 

It’s a lot to take in, but so good and full of hope. We can do this and Scott is here with resources and ideas to help us train our kids’ hearts. 

Connect with Scott: 

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Featured Sponsor : ESV Seek and Find Bible Until 2/24/20 save 40% off at crossway.org/DMA1

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Feb 17, 2020
Navigating Friendships :: Melanie Shankle [Ep 273]
40:12

Finding friends as an adult, keeping up with friends when you become a mom, transitioning friendships as your children grow up… No one tells you what to expect. But, friendships are worth investing in and they are a key part of what helps us not mom alone.

Author, speaker and mentor mom Melanie Shankle joins me to share how she’s navigated friendships as an adult. She opens up about what worked, what didn’t and a few things she wishes she’d done differently.

“I think it was some of it was my own insecurities of getting out there and making new friends. I don't find women to be any less intimidating in my forties than I found them to be when I was 16 years old. I think there's also a thing as women that we tend to get in a circle and be inward-focused and we aren't good about looking out to see who might need a friend or who may want to be included.”

Melanie talks candidly about her friendships, being an introvert and about how friendship doesn’t mean we have to agree on everything. Looking back, she wishes she’d been more open to meeting people and making friends instead of being more inwardly-focused. 

“I think you would be better off going with the assumption that everybody would like to make a new friend. You know, just that everybody's open to friendship and to get to know a new person.”

Connect with Melanie: 

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Episodes on Friendship:

Feb 10, 2020
Fighting Toxic Thoughts :: Jennie Allen Ep 272
44:28

It starts subtly the same way it did with Eve in the garden. “Did God really say?” These small lies from the enemy pass through our minds as one of the 60,000 thoughts we have each day. But lies don’t stay small.

Some take root and build highways and cities in our brain that cause us to question God, question who we are and live in fear that the lies are actually the truth. 

My guest Jennie Allen talks about how to fight back against the lies that are constantly thrown at us. She opens up about her doubts and how she’s learned to fight back in the war for her mind. We talk about everything from mom guilt to questioning God’s existence to fighting for the minds of our kids. 

Jennie shares that we have to recognize there’s a battle and we have to fight it with the right kind of weapons.

“This is a spiritual war and we have to throw spiritual weapons at it. And then it says in 2 Corinthians 10 that we are given divine weapons that can destroy strongholds. So those of you out there that are like, you know what? This isn't passive, that thought of doubt or this isn't passive, this is a stronghold that has captivated me most of my life. Scripture says that we have divine weapons to destroy it. Now those divine weapons, we've got to choose to employ them and it's not easy.”

Listen as we learn how to fight back in the war for our minds.

Connect with Jennie: 

Links Mentioned:  

Feb 03, 2020
Finding God Faithful :: Kelly Minter [Ep 271]
46:07

Kelly Minter followed her dreams to Nashville to pursue a career in music. After years of highs and lows as an artist (mostly lows), Kelly had the opportunity to switch fields and write her first Bible study with LifeWay Publishers. 

Kelly shares with us about how in the midst of disappointment and unfulfilled dreams, she has found God faithful to continue writing her story. One of her first studies centered on the life of Joseph, a man who also had dreams that weren’t fulfilled the way he expected.

“Suffering made Joseph fit for the dreams that God had for him. Those dreams were birthed and they were going to happen. But it was the hard, difficult process that made Joseph ready and able for those dreams. Because a lot of humbling had to happen, a lot of faith had to be forged, a lot of obedience had to be built and a lot had to happen for Joseph to be ready for that.”

Now an established author and speaker, Kelly has a gorgeous new cookbook out focused on accessible recipes to inspire your cooking and stories about building community around the table.

Links Mentioned:  

Jan 27, 2020
Grace According to Our Needs :: Beth Moore [Ep 270]
52:55

It’s not an exaggeration to say that Beth Moore is a spiritual mother and inspiration to many women. Her numerous Bible studies and books are a staple in women’s ministries at countless churches. 

Instead of just an interview promoting her new book, she took the time to chat with me about her own hard experiences in motherhood and marriage. Get ready for some real talk about real life and real problems. Beth doesn’t want to be seen on a pedestal. 

Whether it was the difficulties of the busy schedule ministry and speaking or the dynamic of spiritual leadership in her home, Beth shares that she’s always found God to be faithful in her places of need. 

“There is grace for every day. I always think of the mercies of God when he says in Lamentations, that his mercies are new every morning. I think about the manna and how each person gathered exactly what they needed. That’s how God’s grace is for us. It is always given according to our needs.”

Beth is a powerful communicator and our interview only gets better as we keep talking. Hang in there to the end for a holy ground moment when she prays over all of us.

“Father, I ask you for supernatural trust in these mothers. I ask you that right now you would settle and establish their hearts that they are intimately known by you. I pray, father, that they will rest in the assurance that there is nothing they can do to shake your love or even shake away your presence with them.”

Connect with Beth: 

Links Mentioned:  

 

Jan 20, 2020
Intimacy with God is the Main Thing :: Kim Cash Tate [Ep 269]
36:50

As a lawyer who felt pressure to provide for her family and make a career for herself, Kim Cash Tate was surprised to feel God calling her to a ministry of staying home with her kids and later homeschooling them. 

She could have ignored the prompting and pursued her career, but Kim chose to “cling” to God and step out in faith. That decision took her to a lot of places that a law career never would. She became a fiction writer and led Bible studies and now writes and stars in a web series and in music videos.

But her focus isn’t about making a name for herself or reaching a goal. It’s always been about intimacy with God and following his leading in her life. 

If you feel stuck in your current season of motherhood or discouraged that you have dreams you haven’t seen fulfilled, Kim’s story can give you hope and expectancy that God is still writing your story. 

And as we choose to draw near to him, he is faithful to lead us to things that are better than we could’ve planned on our own.

Connect with Kim: 

Links Mentioned:  

Verses Mentioned:

You must follow the LORD your God, fear him, observe his commandments, listen to his voice, serve him, and cling to him. Deuteronomy 13:4 

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

Featured Sponsor : PrepDish

Prep Dish meal plans were created by chef and dietician Allison Schaaf to help save you time and put home-cooked meals on the table. No meal time stress. No more answering the dreaded question, “What’s for Dinner?!”. Developed by chef and dietician Allison Schaaf, Prep Dish is a healthy, whole food based meal plan subscription service. Allison does all the planning for you- including easy-to-follow shopping lists and prep-ahead instructions so you know what to prepare and when. NOW offering KETO MEAL PLANS!

Imagine…all of your meals prepped and ready to go for the entire week. We like to call this meal time bliss! Get 2 weeks FREE go to Prepdish.com/dma.

Featured Sponsor: Connected Families

Your kids will mess up. So will you. Connected Families believes that the perfect time to build wisdom and GROW your relationship with your kids is during the messy times. They’ve developed an 8-session online course called Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart. It is only offered twice a year, so register today! https://connectedfamilies.org/dtc/online-course/ Use coupon code DMA15 for 15% off!

Jan 13, 2020
Declutter Like a Mother Allie Casazza Ep 268
40:36

Mountains of laundry, piles of toys and all the other “stuff” of life that comes into our homes can feel overwhelming, even to the neatest of moms with the best of intentions. We all love our families, but living with the messes and the clutter that comes along with them is a challenge.

My guest Allie Casazza knows what it feels like to be overwhelmed by constantly cleaning and picking up her house at the expense of enjoying time with her kids. A few years ago with four kids under the age of five, Allie had a moment of clarity with God as she sat crying in her bathroom.

If all I'm doing is cleaning up and it's just a bunch of stuff we don't really need, then what if we just didn't have stuff anymore?

That moment changed the course of her family. It also changed how she viewed motherhood and all the “stuff” that comes along with it. Now, she shares the practical ideas and the mental shifts that helped keep the clutter away to free up her life for what matters most. 

Connect with Allie: 

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsor: PrepDish

Prep Dish meal plans were created by chef and dietician Allison Schaaf to help save you time and put home-cooked meals on the table. No meal time stress. No more answering the dreaded question, “What’s for Dinner?!”. Developed by chef and dietician Allison Schaaf, Prep Dish is a healthy, whole food based meal plan subscription service. Allison does all the planning for you- including easy-to-follow shopping lists and prep-ahead instructions so you know what to prepare and when. NOW offering KETO MEAL PLANS!

Imagine…all of your meals prepped and ready to go for the entire week. We like to call this meal time bliss! Get 2 weeks FREE go to Prepdish.com/dma.

Featured Sponsor: Connected Families

Your kids will mess up. So will you. Connected Families believes that the perfect time to build wisdom and GROW your relationship with your kids is during the messy times. They’ve developed an 8-session online course called Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart. It is only offered twice a year, so register today! https://connectedfamilies.org/dtc/online-course/ Use coupon code DMA15 for 15% off!

Jan 06, 2020
Broken Crayons Still Color Toni Collier Ep 267
45:54

Toni Collier’s short childhood ended in third grade when her mother had a stroke and she was practically left alone to care for her. Toni carried many heavy emotional burdens in her childhood and felt deeply that she had to protect herself because the world was not a safe place. 

Fast forward several years and Toni’s strength of will to avoid the emotional trauma she experienced as a child finally ran out. Now a mom and reeling from an emotionally abusive first marriage, Toni sought counseling and therapy for the healing she so desperately needed. 

“I was so blind to how unhealthy my life actually was, and the unveiling, the unwrapping of this emotional onion made me worse. But there was a healed Toni that I had to get to. Not just for me, but for my daughter and my new marriage. The only thing that brought me through was the hope that there is a God who said he could trade my weakness for his power.”

Toni opens up about the “treacherous” process of facing intense emotional trauma, the shame and stigma that surrounds therapy and what it’s like to parent in the midst of facing your own brokenness.

Now as a powerful communicator and host with North Point Ministries, Toni has learned that God can take our broken, painful pasts and use them to minister to others. 

“I hopped on stage at North Point and my entire life changed in weeks. It was the first time in a long time that I had been in a ministry that's celebrated my gifts, wasn't intimidated by them, and also welcomed my brokenness. It is as if I had experienced a new Jesus.”

Nov 25, 2019
Gratitude With Every Bite Melissa D'Arabian Ep 266
46:57

Melissa d’Arabian is a winner of “The Next Food Network Star,” a celebrity chef, author, and mom of four. She’s is an expert on affordable and healthy family home cooking who has inspired people with her shows on Food Network. 

A few years ago, God inspired Melissa to do a deep dive into scripture and prayer to evaluate the meaning of food in her life. What she discovered is our relationship with food reflects our understanding of God and his creation. 

In her new book, Tasting Grace, she invites readers to appreciate food as not only a gift from God but also as a deeper invitation into his love.

“Every meal we have can be an invitation into creativity, community, and patience. The fact that I could sit there and even for a moment and marvel and at least to honor everything that's gone into my food connected me more to God and it made me enjoy the food more.”

We talk about how meals can bring us closer to God and how he created a food system to nourish us and delight our palates. Melissa is passionate about separating food and body image and saying no to the negative perspective often put on food. 

“I want my children when they are young women going out there in the world to have the joy of a great relationship with food. And so if I talk about myself in a way that is unkind, not only are my kids hearing it, but God is hearing it. Speaking in terms of body image and all of that, I think it must make God feel sad when I reject the body he has given me. ”

Nov 18, 2019
6th Podcast-iversary Heather MacFadyen Ep 265
26:12

 

Wow! Six years into podcasting and the 265 episodes of this show have been downloaded 8.7 million times across 204 different countries. Today we are celebrating our podcast-iversary with a “best-of” show featuring clips from your favorite episodes. 

We’re also featuring testimonials from listeners who share how the podcast has helped them not mom alone. Like these quotes from moms:

“This podcast has really become my one-stop show for all things parenting. I love how you cover such a wide range of topics and how all of your guests are filled with grace and grounded in God’s word and his truth.”

“It has totally changed my perspective on motherhood. I’ve gone from feeling quite frustrated and alone to knowing that other moms are dealing with the same things. I don’t feel quite so lonely. All the encouragement is really changing my life.”

Thanks so much for listening to the Don’t Mom Alone podcast. I’m thankful it’s made an impact in your lives. When I started this six years ago, I couldn’t imagine where it would take me. As for the future? Well, we’ll just have to see where God takes us!

Special Production Help from Airr:

Ever wanted to share a specific quote or clip from your favorite podcast with a friend, but didn’t know how? This week’s sponsor, Airr, solves that problem by making it simple to share clips from specific episodes. 

I’m going to start featuring listeners “airr quotes” in my Monday email. Make sure you go to https://www.airr.io/dontmomalone to sign up and start listening and quoting. 

Nov 11, 2019
Compassion Changes Everything :: Jonathan Almonte [Ep 264]
47:17

Jonathan Almonte’s story shows how sponsoring a child through Compassion International (or other similar programs) can change the course of a child’s life. 

However, it is the compassion of the people in his story who loved him when he fought back and wrote him letters calling out his identity and inherent worth as a child of God that may have made the biggest difference.

“That letter changed my life. I was believing that I was a mistake. I was believing that God was not good for me. This letter helped me to understand that God provided a woman called Jamie thousands of kilometers away in a place called Michigan celebrating Thanksgiving. This woman wrote a letter to say, I am thankful for you. You are special, you're not a mistake.”

As a child of a single mom in the Dominican Republic, Jonathan’s prospects were greatly limited. From a young age, he worked to earn enough money for each day’s food. The cost of getting into a school, a uniform as supplies, was nowhere near his grasp. 

His mother applied for him to join the Compassion program and (after a wait) he was accepted. For the first time in his life, all of his educational, nutritional, medical, and physical needs were taken care of, and Jonathan felt believed in like he never had before. 

“I was selling juice on the streets. I was diving in a garbage area without hope. So this ministry for me meant my life. My life is before and after the ministry of Compassion in partnership with the local church in my community. ”

I hope this episode leads you to text "Heather" to 83393 and sponsor a child like Jonathan. 

Nov 04, 2019
Foster Care Story of Hope Victoria Petersen Ep 263
45:54

On the surface, Victoria (Tori) Petersen’s story doesn’t sound full of hope. Her growing up years were filled with abuse, a mom who struggled with drugs, and more than 10 foster homes with no hope of adoption.

But God’s heart for Tori wasn’t death; it was life. Through a series of relationships and her own study, Tori learned about God. She experienced sacrificial love and community in the church and through her foster parents. It changed her whole future.

“The encouragement, the support, and the ability to see that through their words, through God's speaking through these people and acting through these people in love showed me that I did have a future, that God did have a plan for me and that if I trusted in him, that plan would blossom into something.”

After emancipating from the foster care system, Tori’s life has had more ups and downs. But, she is confident in her identity in Christ and learning more every day. Now as a mom and wife, God is redeeming her story and using it to encourage others who are a part of the foster system.

“I think foster parents remembering that they are image-bearers and in those hard times to be able to humble themselves and say,’ I am weak and I'm going to call on God's strength to love this child.’ Also communicating to the child that they're made in God's image. They are loved despite any kind of behavior or any saddening event that they have been through. Identity in Christ is crucial to the relationship between foster youth and foster parents.”

Oct 28, 2019
You Deserve a Mentor Susie Davis Ep 262
45:23

Susie Davis is a mentor of mentors. She’s the author of several books and host of the Dear Daughters podcast. I’m so excited to share our conversation with you as she answers your questions about mentorship, marriage and meeting with God. 

“I think you deserve a mentor. I think it's God's will for your life to have an older woman that you can talk to who has wisdom for you and your specific situation.”

In her book and podcast, Dear Daughters, Susie seeks to bring together younger women and spiritual moms. Each of us has valuable insight for one other, but getting started with mentoring can be a hurdle. Whether you have a mentor, are a mentor or want to start, Susie shares encouragement and insight into establishing and maintaining a healthy mentor relationship. (including what not to say!)

We also talk about marriage and how to love your man without losing your mind about the little things that can drive us crazy. 

“I think marriage is the greatest opportunity for sanctification, which is just becoming more like God. It is the one relationship that is never supposed to end. You're ‘trapped’ in it and you have to work it out with them.”

Talking with Susie is such a gift. She shares a wealth of wisdom from the perspective of someone who has experienced a lot of growth in her own life and marriage over the years. Grab a cup of coffee and listen in as Susie mentors us all!

Oct 21, 2019
Racial Reconciliation Starts with You Latasha Morrison Ep 261
41:46

Racial tensions in America are as high within the church as outside of it. My guest Latasha Morrison believes Jesus followers must become the leaders in the conversation on racial reconciliation. That we must, “build a bridge” to bring justice, healing and transformation.

“It starts with awareness and then acknowledging the pain and brokenness. We didn't create it, but it is all of our responsibility to be a part of the solution. And no one gets an ‘out’ here.”

Latasha founded the organization Be the Bridge in 2016 to encourage racial reconciliation among all ethnicities, to promote racial unity in America, and to equip others to do the same. Now she’s written a book of the same name that comes out this week. 

We talk in depth about racial reconciliation, biblical justice and the diversity of God’s kingdom. It’s not an easy conversation, but it’s a necessary one. I pray you will listen with an open mind and heart for all God wants to do to bring unity to the body of Christ. 

“Every culture is an expression of who God is and not one ethnicity can represent the totality of who God is. We serve a diverse God. If you’re thinking that God looks just like you and talks just like you, remember, Jesus didn't speak English. Sometimes we need a reality check on that. Just because something is different doesn't make it wrong.”

Oct 14, 2019
The Window of Tolerance Charissa Fry Ep 260
39:43

As parents, we are keenly aware of the peaks and valleys of our kids’ emotions. Anger, sadness, excitement, and all the other feelings can make us feel like our child is on a roller coaster we’re just trying to slow down. 

It’s true that we all feel highs and lows throughout our day, but we rarely talk about what it feel like when we’re “in the zone” and feeling calm and ready to go. My guest today is sharing about the window of tolerance and how to regulate ourselves and our kids to help stay in that window. 

“If I am dysregulated, I cannot regulate my child. So if I'm in fight or flight and I'm yelling. There's no amount of yelling that brings my child back into the window. And sometimes parents think the yelling is working, but what you're doing isn’t getting your child in the window. They're going into collapse and into a place of fear.”

Charissa Fry is a Licensed Professional Counselor and believer. Her passion is to come alongside those who are hurting and struggling to help them find truth, hope, healing, connection, and growth. She shares some eye-opening information and statistics to get us on the path to helping our kids build resilience and stay in that window of tolerance. 

Charissa shares from a faith-perspective that we as believers are not alone. She reminds us that we can lean on God to regulate our emotions as we love on our kids and go through the hardships of life. 

“God himself through Jesus is the ultimate attachment figure. He is always reaching for us. He never fails to respond to our needs. He always loves us. He's never judging us and never shaming us. So to know that when we need to be co-regulated, that when I am feeling like I'm going to leave the window, I can remember the truth of who God is and I can reach out to him in prayer.”

Oct 07, 2019
The Enneagram, Marriage and the Gospel Beth McCord Ep 259
46:49

It’s a popular (and sometimes controversial) typology system that can help you understand yourself and others better, but how can we use the Enneagram in light of the gospel to help our marriages thrive? 

Beth McCord of Your Enneagram Coach is here to walk us how to look at our marriages and close relationships through the lens of the Enneagram and the Gospel. 

“With the Enneagram, you can see that we all struggle. We all need Jesus. It's just we need it in different ways. And he makes us more like him in different ways as well. It's called the body of Christ and we reflect Christ differently. We all need to bring our uniqueness to glorify him and bless each other.”

We talk about how using the Enneagram can improve communication and compassion in our marriages and what to do if your spouse has no interest in learning his type. (hint: the answer isn’t to bug him about it) 

Beth shares that no one pairing out of the 45 possible Enneagram matches in marriage is better than any other, but it’s our surrender to Christ that makes all the difference. 

“I can guarantee you there is not a combination that is better or worse. Any two types that are surrendering and depending on the grace of God through Christ’s work on the cross on our behalf will be a blessing to one another.”

Sep 30, 2019
Helping Your Child with Sensory Processing Issues Lynne Jackson Ep 258
44:18

When a child processes sensory information just a little differently than his or her peers it can mean BIG emotions, meltdowns and a huge struggle for us as parents. 

Often these kids are labeled as “sensitive” or “intense” and they might cause us to avoid playdates and public places because we’re never sure what seemingly small issue will cause the next explosion. 

Lynne Jackson of Connected Families joins me to uncover the mysteries behind our kids with sensory struggles and how we can help them thrive. We talk about Sensory Processing Disorder and the wide range of sensory processing symptoms.  

As a mom who had two kids with sensory processing needs and as a licensed occupational therapist, Lynne encourages us to become a student of our kids and try to understand their point of view.

“Imagine if the volume on all your sounds and the sensations in your body was turned up and you were to trying to fall asleep, that would be really hard. Car rides and meals are often torturous. So then what are the kids doing? They're trying to cope. They're jumping down. They're complaining about the food and squirming in their seats. They're trying to do something so they feel in control.”

We talk about what to do if you suspect a sensory processing problem in one of your kids and where to seek help. I share my story of working through this with one of my boys and why I wish we’d gone to see a therapist sooner.

Sep 23, 2019
Forgiving My Alcoholic Mother Sarah Mae Ep 257
47:02

Author, blogger and podcast host Sarah Mae joins me to share her story of working through the generational bondage of alcoholism and the verbal and emotional abuse she suffered from her mother. 

“I remember yelling out, 'I'm going to kill myself,' and her saying, 'Go ahead, I dare you.' And that was it for me. I just bawled because I felt so unloved and so confused.”

In her new book The Complicated Heart, Sarah takes us into her painful past and all she experienced with her mom. She also shares the hope and victory of how God wooed her heart and changed the direction of her family forever. 

“Dysfunction does not have to be your legacy. It does not have to be your identity. And you do not have to pass it on to your kids. It doesn't matter if you were born into it, married into it or you created it yourself. There is always victory on the table. We just have to be willing to pick it up.”

Throughout our chat, Sarah is candid and encouraging. She shares openly about the abortion she had at 16 and the healing she’s experienced from bravely speaking out against the shame of past sin and accepting God’s grace as all-sufficient. 

Sep 16, 2019
Porn-Proofing Our Kids Kristen Jenson Ep 256
47:45

Access to the internet is everywhere in our modern world. And that means access to pornography and sexual imagery is everywhere too. Rather than bury our heads in the sand or cross our fingers that our kids won’t see porn, we can choose to be proactive and to give them a plan for how to react. 

Kristen Jenson, the best-selling author or Good Picture Bad Pictures, joins me to share some simple ways to talk with our kids about porn and protect their minds. 

“Pornography makes a child more vulnerable to sexual abuse. So if you porn-proof your child by starting these conversations early, you are actually helping your child to be more protected from child sexual abuse. When you start these discussions it's not as hard as you think. And once you do, you've begun this journey with your child to trust you for answers. You tell them, ‘Don't go on Google to ask these questions. Come and talk to me.’”

This may feel like a super heavy topic, but I promise it’s worth taking the proactive approach now vs waiting till you have teenagers. Kristen shares a lot of resources and makes it easy to get started. 

Sep 09, 2019
Become What You Behold Ruth Simons Ep 255
37:31

My guest today is Ruth Chou Simons. She’s a mom of six boys and an author and entrepreneur. You may know her best from the beautiful watercolor prints and products she creates for her business on Gracelaced.com. 

In her newest book, Beholding and Becoming: The Art of Everyday Worship, Grace shares about how every day is an opportunity to be shaped and formed by what moves our hearts and captures our gaze. 

We dive into what that looks like in Ruth’s life and how choosing to focus on Christ changes everything from our perspective on our parenting and work to how we look to others. 

The most unhappy I get is if I get preoccupied with somebody else's story. And I don't give thanks and I don't jot down reminders of how he's provided for the ultimate story of redemption in my life. And also how he's working that out day by day and writing my story anew.

We talk about how our fast-paced, hustle culture steals the joy and the beauty away from the everyday faithfulness of growing in God. My favorite reminder she shared is, “You don’t have to be blooming to be growing.”

So true. How often do we start something and expect instant gratification and quick wins? We want easy-to-share glossy images of success. But God looks at our hearts. At the slow growing happening under the surface. We are all in process with God until we see him in heaven. 

Let’s celebrate the small wins and focus on turning our eyes toward God and away from the distractions and hollow gratification of social media. As Ruth reminds us, we become what we behold. Those small, unseen decisions really add up to who we are. 

Because at the end of the day, every action we have is really stemming out of our belief in our worship. And so how you think, and how you believe, and what you believe is the most beautiful and worthy of gazing at in your life will actually translate into what you do next. What your little moments every day are accumulating to be for a lifetime.

What we chat about:

  • Focusing on the beauty of what God has created vs comparing our lives to someone else’s on social media
  • At the root of dissatisfaction in our lives is an underlying struggle with identity. Is our identity found in Christ or is it found in everything going our way?
  • Growing our appetite for the things of God by choosing to fill our time with his Word.
  • The struggles women have with wanting to do something perfectly or not at all 
  • Celebrating the process of growing vs seeing immediate fruit in our lives
  • What you believe is the most beautiful and worthy of gazing at in your life will actually translate into what you do next
  • The goal isn’t just to experience God’s provision, but to trust that his presence in our lives is enough
  • “Nearness to God brings likeness to God. The more you see God, the more of God will be seen in you.” - C.H Spurgeon

Sep 02, 2019
Raising Worry-Free Girls :: Sissy Goff [Bonus]
24:05

For a variety of reasons, childhood anxiety rates are soaring, especially among girls. My guest Sissy Goff is here to share some of her insights on how to recognize worry and anxiety in your daughter and empower her to overcome.

We talk about tools we can use to help us understand why our brains are often working against us in times of anxiety and grounding techniques to slow and stop the emotional spiral that often ensues. 

“We always want her to know she's stronger than her worries and that she has a voice to talk back to the worry. A lot of people who work with kids call it the worry monster because that separates it out from her voice. We don't want her to think it's the truth, which is what kids are going to think when they have voices in their heads telling them things.”

This is a short, hope-filled bonus episode that just scratches the surface on all that we can learn about equipping our kids to work through anxiety. For more encouragement, follow Sissy and her team at https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com and watch for her book Raising Worry-Free Girls coming out September 17. 

 

What we chat about:

  • 1 in 4 kids are dealing with anxiety of some kind and girls are twice as likely to feel it
  • Anxiety is hard to recognize in kids. Sometimes it comes out as anger or meltdowns and other times it’s deeply buried
  • People whose personalities lean toward Type A tend to have baseline anxiety at all times. If your child’s personality leans that direction, it’s important to give them tools to deal with it
  • Anxiety is always an overestimation of the problem and an underestimation of ourselves
  • Techniques to help a child with anxiety calm down and redirect blood flow to their prefrontal cortex
  • Integrating our faith as we teach our kids to fight back against fear and worry
Aug 30, 2019
Adventures of a Boy Mom Monica Swanson Ep 254
52:34

Fellow boy moms, this episode is for you! This chat with Monica Swanson another mom of four boys and author of the new book Boy Mom dives into a lot of your questions about how to raise your boys to be godly men. 

We talk about encouraging strong friendships between brothers, teaching boys to be strong AND gentle, and about the importance of giving our sons ways to experience excitement and adventure while getting some of their natural aggression out in safe physical activities.

“I am a big believer that boys were made for adventure that they need to have some excitement in their lives I think is just how God wired them. They're little warriors who need to experience some thrills. A lot of the trouble boys can get into is related to when they're lacking authentic adventure, when they're not facing challenges and overcoming obstacles.”

Monica has two boys out of high school and two still in the nest, so she offers a lot of hope for those of us in the trenches of parenting to keep pressing into relationship with our sons and to make the practicals of faith an anchor in all that we do. 

“God is so big and so powerful and he can move mountains on behalf of your son. He wants your son's heart more than you even know. We get our boys plugged in everywhere we can. We want them to have so many positive spiritual models in their life that there's no denying that God is the best way to go. It about coming alongside them and saying, ‘This is for your best. God is for you. Let's walk this life with him.’”

 

What we chat about:

  • Monica’s four boys and working with very different personalities 
  • Building healthy brother relationships and dealing with kids who hit
  • Boys need to let out their energy with exercise and physical activity
  • Setting healthy boundaries for your kids with manners and learning to laugh with them about it too
  • Teaching boys how to balance strength and kindness by pointing them to the stories of godly men
  • The power of shoulder to shoulder conversations with boys and why to keep pressing into conversation with them
  • Motivating boys to get excited about school and finding hobbies and interests
  • Ideas for how to foster adventure for your boys and learning not to parent from a place of fear
  • Fostering faith in your sons through time in the Word, prayer and modeling
Aug 26, 2019
Summer of Mentorship 2019 Week Six Shontell Brewer
59:11

With the ability to connect with anyone, anywhere in the world, feels like we’re more isolated and ineffective than ever. But what if we worried less about making a big impact.  And focused more on doing the things in front of us with quality and depth?

I’m a big fan of this week's mentor, Shontell Brewer. She’s a wise mom to five kiddos. And she has an excellent sense of humor. More than that, she has discipled her children well to love and serve others around them.

Discipleship can be organic. Keeping your ministry small enough. To be present wherever God has placed you.

In this episode, which originally aired as Episode 140 (Oct 2016), Shontell and I talk about discipleship during dinner conversations. She shares her method of asking really specific questions. And giving her kiddos a challenge for the day to love others in tangible ways (e.g., encouraging a 4 year old to compliment his preschool teacher).

My most favorite thing we talk about is Taco Tuesday. The last Tuesday of the month, the Brewer family serves up meat & tortillas. They invite coaches, teachers, friends, neighbors (any one who interacts regularly with their kids) into their home.

 We love on our community one taco at a time.

I shared the idea with my boys and they wanted to do it the next night (“Taco Tuesday, but on a Monday”). I’ll let you know how that goes. We may go the Pizza Friday route (love our community one slice at a time).

Shontell also inspired me to help open my boys’ spiritual eyes. And to encourage them to fight over who is going to put the other one first.

What we chat about:

  • How women apologize for their carpet
  • Keeping your ministry small
  • Specific questions to ask during dinner time conversations
  • How Shontell helped her daughter minister to her Starbucks’ manager
  • Sending your kids to school with a basic challenge to bless someone
  • Setting the habit of conversation and other family “norms”
  • Learning to not be offended when our kids aren’t performing
  • Parenting small with intimate corrective conversations
  • The BEST idea to invite people into your home monthly–> Taco Tuesdays!

Aug 19, 2019
Summer of the Mentorship 2019 Week Five Lynn Hoffman
39:01

Being a mom reveals your most broken places.

I often think motherhood would be easy if my boys behaved better. Or maybe if I read one more parenting book. Or if I finally caught the magical contentment unicorn just beyond my grasp.

Of course, none of those options really pan out (especially the unicorn). It’s my own junk. Every day the yuck in my heart rises to the surface. But with the pace of life and needs of my people, it’s hard to stop and examine the “yuck” more closely.

Recently our small group has been attending a recovery program at our church. Through some honest self-examination and community, God’s been showing me where I’ve held wrong beliefs. And how they impact my relationships.

Today’s podcast guest, Lynn Hoffman, helped start our church’s recovery program 15 years ago. And God also led her to write “Steps into God’s Grace”, a bible study based on the 12 steps of recovery.

In this episode, Lynn shares her own struggle with performance, people pleasing and codependency. She gives insight into why recovery isn’t just for addicts. And she encourages us to identify our own emotions so we can teach our children to do the same.

Recovery became a safe place where I could go and be with other people who were willing to be honest. Stop pretending and start talking about the reality of the problems in their life. And lean on God to change and discover new realities in their life.

Aug 12, 2019
Summer of Mentorship 2019 Week Four Helen Smallbone
50:36

Ever want to hear from the woman behind rock star kids?

In this episode, Helen Smallbone, mother of 7 grown children including Christian music stars Joel and Luke Smallbone (For King & Country) and Rebecca St. James, shares stories of motherhood and practical advice she’s learned along the way. She and her husband moved their family from Australia to America more than 25 years ago. It was a faith-building journey that changed their family forever.   

“Sometimes when you face life crises what God’s doing is setting a new foundation. In this time, he took everything away from us,” Smallbone said. “We had no money, no resources, no family and no friends.  But in that refining process, he gave everything back to us, but with a new foundation where he was the provider. He showed himself to be faithful for providing all our needs.”

  • Stories of living by faith and God providing for the Smallbone family when they moved from Australia to America
  • Homeschooling a large family and fostering responsibility and work skills in your kids
  • Teaching family values while dealing with bad attitudes and behaviors in your kids
  • Taking a “time out” as a mom to pray for your children and waiting on the Lord for breakthrough for specific ways to resolve behavior problems
  • Focusing on the eternal value of building relationships with our kids versus the temporary focus on everyday tasks
  • Spending time with children who may be acting out because they need more attention
  • How quantity time often becomes quality time with our families
  • Taking a traditional naptime or quiet time after lunch with fill yourself up to finish the day strong as a mom
  • Keeping the communication line open with your children no matter their age.
Aug 05, 2019
Summer of Mentorship 2019 Week Three Kim Fredrickson
45:45

As a licensed marriage and family therapist and life coach, Kim Fredrickson counseled and taught others about self-compassion for years. When she received an unexpected terminal diagnosis of pulmonary fibrosis, a rare side-effect of the treatment she had received for breast cancer, she wrote a book to leave for her children on giving that same compassion to the grandchildren she will never meet.

On June 3rd, 2019, Kim passed on to be in the presence of her Savior. We are grateful for a way to honor her legacy by re-releasing her fantastic mentorship. (This episode originally aired in January 2018).

When people feel ashamed, they blame other people because they feel like if I really look at my shame then I’m going to collapse inside. That’s why self-compassion is desperately important because kids feel shame a lot. They fail at everything at the start.

What we chat about:

  • Kim’s story of receiving a devastating diagnosis after completing treatment for breast cancer
  • How she’s chosen to spend the years she has left with her family
  • The new book she wrote for when her children have kids called “Give Your Kids a Break: Parenting with Compassion for You and Your Children”
  • How it’s a process to develop a compassionate inner voice
  • Applying grace and truth to every situation in our lives
  • Variety of temperaments--some that are harder on themselves than others.
  • The difference between self-compassion and self-pity
  • Encouraging your children to practice self-compassion and reinforcing it by showing ourselves that same
  • Giving our kids the language to identify their failings and separate them from their self- worth
  • Moms have a really hard job. It’s ok to acknowledge that.
  • The importance of taking care of ourselves as moms
  • How to talk to your kids after you’ve been hard on yourself and reframing it with self compassion

Jul 29, 2019
Summer of Mentorship 2019 Week Two Lisa-Jo Baker
42:34

Oh friendship! A gift that can bring incredible joy and cause great pain. If female relationships weren't tricky enough, our wounded selves bump into each other causing even deeper hurts.

But what are we to do? How do we heal, move forward and develop lasting friendships?

Thankfully, my friend, Lisa-Jo Baker came on the show back in April of 2017 to help. With content from her book, "Never Unfriended", on episode 159 we talked about friendship wounds. And Lisa-Jo pointed us to Jesus, the only One who promises to heal and never leave us.

Jesus is never tired of me always needing Him. Instead, He is delighted by how desperately I need His validation and He never, ever withholds it from me. Or from you. - excerpt from "Never Unfriended" by Lisa-Jo

  • What do we fear most in friendship
  • How to include the new girl and ignore the "cool kid" lies
  • How to heal past friendship wounds.
  • Turning to Jesus for meat and potatoes soul filling.
  • Not blaming social media for our heart issues.
  • How do you survive a friendship break-up.
  • The hope of reconciliation and knowing when to let go.
Jul 22, 2019
Summer of Mentorship 2019 Week One :: Nancy Williams
40:20

The first guest in our mentorship series is Nancy Williams**. She is known by her 9 grandchildren & 4 great-grandchildren to label each family gathering as "the best ever". Her phrase perfectly summarizes this podcast.

The show first aired in February of 2014 (Episode 11) and was titled "Best Ever Life". Based on the title, you may be surprised to discover Nancy's motherhood journey includes many trials and heartache. But she views each challenge as an "opportunity" (her word) to see the power of God at work.

This interview is bursting with Truth and wisdom. Here's a brief summary of the topics we cover:

  • How to keep your thoughts and perspective in check when your husband works long hours.
  • Where to turn with your parenting questions.
  • How to respond when the consequences of sin enter your children's lives
  • How to share a simple family tradition of gratitude and love (fabulous idea!)
  • How to deal with mom guilt (a.k.a., the part of the podcast where I get emotional)
  • How to help your children turn to God when you can't meet all their needs.

SUCH good stuff.

I was most encouraged to hear this message from Nancy:

This can be the "best life ever", no matter the circumstances, if it includes eternal salvation for our children and unconditional love in our homes. 

Jul 15, 2019
Women Can Be All-In for Jesus Kat Armstrong Ep 253
52:20

Kat Armstrong, the guest from one of my most popular episodes is back on the podcast to share the message of her new book, No More Holding Back. The first question we talk about is, “Can a woman learn too much about Jesus?” A light topic, right?

“The greatest commandment says we have to love God with our heart, soul, mind and strength — all of it. And it's the priority. It's the priority over anyone's role in our home. We have to be all-in for Jesus. We can't let our fears, our insecurities, our roles, our titles, or anything to do with our spouses impede our progress to learn about Jesus.”

Kat shares powerfully about our role as an image bearer of God, the importance of elevating women’s voices in our communities of faith and living completely into the assignments God gives us.

We also talk about giving what we have to offer even if feels imperfect or broken in the same way that the widow in Mark 12 gave out of her need.

“If you have a broken heart, it counts. I have a broken heart right now about my dad. I still want to love God with it all and I don't have to have it all together or healed yet to apply it to the Great Commission. And if you have a weary soul and you're questioning your faith, you can give that to God and he counts it as worthy. If you have a confused mind. If you're struggling with anxiety, depression, decision making, and things don't make sense in your world, you can give that to God.”

Jun 24, 2019
The Ministry of Presence in a Broken World Tess Clarke Ep 252
57:22

After my recent trip to Oaxaca, Mexico, I’m so excited to introduce you to Tess Clarke. We process some of what we learned on the trip to visit refugees from Central and South America and hear about the work Tess and her husband are doing with their non-profit, Seek the Peace.

Tess feels called to a ministry of presence in the same way that Jesus enters into our lives. It doesn’t mean that the circumstances are changed, but He takes away our aloneness, our guilt, our shame and our fear by being present with us in those hard circumstances.

“The numbers are staggering and everyone knows that this is an overwhelming issue, which is why I think we can't become jaded and paralyzed, but we have to keep looking at it from a human point of view. When we were in Oaxaca, a lot of it was really about learning why people were fleeing and what their lives looked like and what they were hoping for when they came to the United States. Every person I had an opportunity to talk to said, I want to be safe.”

No matter where you may fall politically on the issues of immigration and the current refugee crisis, I think Tess’ perspective on entering into the broken places and loving the marginalized and lonely around us can bring us together as believers. It has made a big difference in my own parenting when I invite my kids into loving others.

“Something my kids and I talk a lot about is the line in the Lord's prayer, ‘Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.’ And we asked Jesus, show us where heaven is not. Show us where heaven is lacking. Lead us there because we want to join you in that space and we want to do what we can to bring heaven there.”

  • Tess, her family, their non-profit Seek the Peace and her role at We Welcome Refugees
  • The work Tess and her organization have done at the border.
  • Seeking to understand the plight of refugees and the work and role of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE)
  • Family separation of refugees at the border and the humanitarian crises happening in Central and South America that are causing an increase in the number of refugees
  • Stories from refugee centers at the border of South Texas
  • Tess feels called to a ministry of presence in the same way that Jesus enters into our lives.
  • The trip Heather and Tess made to Oaxaca, Mexico to visit refugees there
  • A poem by Warsan Shire about why people leave their homes as refugees
  • The legal ways to enter America are being shut down by the current administration
  • Our experience visiting the unaccompanied minors shelter
  • Femicide, being killed because you are a woman, is a big cause of death in Mexico
  • Partnering with Jesus to love the marginalized and bring Heaven to Earth
  • The call of God to love the oppressed and care for the broken in Isaiah 58
Jun 17, 2019
Gospel-Focused Conversations Joel Fitzpatrick Ep 251
55:26

Just in time for Father’s Day we have a great conversation with Joel Fitzpatrick, a pastor and author, who encourages dads (and moms) to have gospel-focused conversations with their sons.

“There’s power in having conversations with your kids that opens up your relationship. It’s a freedom that gives your kids a safe place to talk to someone. But then it also gives you the ability to speak God's truth into their lives.”

We talk about the barriers that keep us from going deep with our kids and how to fight back against the fear and complacency that can become commonplace. Joel also shares how Jesus is the ultimate picture of biblical masculinity and how to be an emotionally safe parent for your son or daughter.

“We need to be very careful with our emotions when our kids come and they confess their sins to us. When your son comes to you and he's been angry, you need to be careful not to respond in anger, but to respond with love and with kindness and with using your strength to provide a place of safety.”

This is an episode that would be perfect to share with your spouse and the dads in your life. Joel shares a lot of truth for both moms and dads about how we can stay actively engaged with our kids and keep the gospel message at the forefront.

For more on this topic, Joel has a new book out called Between Us Guys. Also, my recent podcast with Vicki Courtney [Ep 239] has some more great information on having deep conversations.

As Joel shares, it comes down to setting aside intentional time to go deep with our kids. What step can you make this summer to have a gospel-centered conversation with your son or daughter?

 

What we chat about:

  • Joel’s background as a construction worker and as a minister
  • What are gospel conversations and how do we have them with our kids
  • How to fight against fear and complacency to continually engage with our kids
  • Biblical masculinity vs worldly masculinity
  • Working with a son who is displaying aggression and violence
  • Keeping our emotions in check when we’re having tough discipline conversations
  • Look at your kids’ lives as a timeline and not a snapshot
  • Learning to process emotions in a healthy way with our kids
  • Being aware of your sons’ emotions and actively engaged with how he is processing them
  • Teaching sons how to think about and interact with women in light of the gospel
Jun 10, 2019
Setting Healthy Boundaries with Family Dr. John Townsend Ep 250
49:33

As moms, we are like a life support system for our kids. To keep our families healthy, we need to be healthy. A key part of our overall well being is setting healthy boundaries.

But boundaries are hard. They require uncomfortable, direct conversations. We may need to put a limit on really good things or draw a line in the sand with our in-laws or parents.

My guest, Dr. John Townsend literally wrote the book on boundaries and he shares some deep wisdom on how to set healthy boundaries while honoring our family members and others.

You've got to take care of your energy, your heart and your emotions. You've got to take care of yourself and your health. If you don't guard that heart, then the wellsprings of life won't come out from it. Boundaries are basically about how to set healthy, loving limits in our life. So we have something to offer to our children.

Townsend answers your tough questions about set limits with in-laws, making healthy boundaries for the holidays and even models having a tough conversation with a parent about a boundary.

This is an episode packed with great information and Townsend has several books and resources available if you want to go deeper. Let’s make setting healthy boundaries a priority and guard our hearts and our time to bring life to our family!

What we chat about:

  • “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23
  • Setting boundaries is guarding our wellspring of life so we can love our kids
  • His book, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life
  • Is setting boundaries biblical? YES!
  • The difference between hurting and harming someone when it comes to setting boundaries
  • Honoring vs obeying your parents as an adult
  • What it looks like to have a boundary setting conversation
  • Conveying love in hard conversations and not getting hijacked with emotions or blame
  • Giving three chances when you set new boundaries and how to have consequences when they aren’t respected
  • Turning to spiritual family when biological family isn’t what your kids need
  • Keeping the lines of communication open with grandparents and communicating boundaries in love
  • Looking for mild, moderate and severe reactions to suggestions and boundary setting
  • Suggestions for setting healthy boundaries for the holidays
  • The idea of people fuel and relational nutrients that help us fuel up

Jun 03, 2019
Summer Strategies Laura and Courtney Ep 249
51:58

Whether your kids are school age or not, summer typically brings a big shift to our family routine and to our mindset. Joining me today to talk through strategies to thrive this summer are Laura Hernandez and Courtney Cleveland.  

We talk about systems, tips and plans for making the most of the time you have with your kids this summer. Laura even shares an acronym for how to plan with the word ENJOY. That’s right! We can absolutely enjoy the summer and these ladies have some great ideas to get you started.

“It doesn't need to be a family bucket list and it doesn't need to be a hundred goals. It's just a simple focused looking at your summer and saying, what do I want it to feel like? What do I want it to look like for our family? And you will reap the benefits of it.”

If you’re like me and want to figure out a way to involve your kids in household jobs without the whining and complaining or make a plan for using screen time effectively, we cover it all in this chat. We also talk about summer road tips and ways to stop entitlement behavior when it rears its ugly head.

There is so much life in slowing down and spending time with our kids in the summer. Whether you are on summer number 2 or summer number 14 (like me) with your oldest, I pray that you embrace the time you have and ENJOY your summer!

 

May 27, 2019
You are Qualified in Christ
49:49

Jada Edwards is a Bible teacher and truth speaker. She brings the word with fire and conviction. Her words encourage and gently convict as she points others to God.

But, her story hasn’t always been pretty and her platform hasn’t always been large. She’s wrestled with shame and doubt and feeling unqualified.

“I try be like David when he says, ‘I keep my sin before me.’ Not because of shame, but because of that reminder that every time God uses me, every time someone is encouraged by something that comes out of my mouth, I think, God is good. He can use anybody. There's a fine line between feeling disqualified and just feeling grateful and humble. So I try not to let that send me into a place of immobility.”

I’m personally grateful that Jada is following after God’s call on her life. She has so much passion for teaching and preaching the word. She has a new Bible study series out with Zondervan on women in the Bible called Known by Name that focuses on the same three questions we all still ask today: How does everyone else see me? How do I see myself? How does God see me? Good stuff!

We talk about her journey to motherhood and how inviting others to be influences in our kids’ lives can bring a freedom for the places we are weakest. She has some great suggestions for how to not mom alone and why we don’t have to strive to be a mother that we’re not.

“I think I day-by-day I find my footing a little bit saying, ‘Okay, these are the kids God has given me to shape and I know there's going to be deficits. I know there's going to be gaps, but I'm going to trust the Lord for the gaps and I'm going to do what I can with who I am. I'm not going to try to be anybody else. I'm going to be a failure at trying to be like my mother, it's going to go badly. I can be the best mom that I can be. And then where I'm lacking, I can be honest about that.’”

May 20, 2019
Abuse Happens Every Nine Seconds Jan Langbein Ep 247
53:17

Every nine seconds a woman is assaulted in America. It’s the kind of staggering statistic that shocks you into silence. It can make you feel powerless to help.

When Jan Langbein first heard that statistic, it rocked her. She found an avenue to get involved with violence intervention and was eventually hired to run Genesis Women’s Shelter & Support in Dallas.

Now, she’s worked to end violence against women and children for more than 20 years. God’s plan for her was bigger than she ever dreamed. On the podcast, she shares from the wealth of what she’s learned about:

  • How to identify abuse in your own life and in others’
  • How to respond to a friend in an abusive relationship
  • What we can all do to work toward ending and preventing violence, especially in faith communities

“It's very hard being friends and family of someone who's being abused, because it's as if they are overcome by smoke. We see the house burning down, but they're tripping around in a house filled with smoke. So you say things like, you know what, when you are ready to talk about this, know that I'm going to be here for you. When you do feel like you ready for some resources, I'll have them for you.”

Warning: There are some very hard things to hear in this episode and some potentially triggering things if you’ve been in an abusive relationship of any kind.

I’m so thankful for Jan’s guidance and clarity on these hard topics. As believers, we’re called to press in to these uncomfortable places and be God’s hands and feet for women and children who are suffering. I pray you will listen with that in mind.

“I think God hates divorce. I know he hates abuse even worse. I think this makes God cry that women are not allowed to live the fullest life. We can serve others, but that doesn't mean at the risk of our own bodies and souls and our children's lives.”

 

What we chat about:

  • How Jan got involved with violence intervention and eventual hired to run Genesis Women's Shelter & Support
  • Every nine seconds, a woman is assaulted in this country and 1 in 3 women have experienced abuse
  • The ways abuse affects the children in a marriage/relationship
  • How to respond to a friend who may be in an abusive relationship
  • The services offered at a shelter like Genesis can provide for multiple needs from housing to legal help to counseling
  • Faith communities and other men can be a part of the solution calling out abuse and not sweeping it under the rug
  • Fear is an indication of abuse and verbal and emotional abuse precedes physical abuse
  • Helping a friend go through the stages of change in coming out of abuse
  • Abusers have the power and control in the relationship and the person being abused has the responsibility to serve their abuser
  • What to watch for in our kids for signs of abuse
May 13, 2019
Rebuilding from an Abusive Marriage Jeni B Ep 246
53:00

Jeni B is a single mom raising and homeschooling her four children. It was not the life she expected when she married as a young grad student and not the life she worked hard to create as she struggled for 10 years in an abusive marriage.

She shares her story of coming to a very painful place of seeking a divorce and fleeing with her children. We talk about the loss of community and friendships that followed and the guilt and shame that threatened to hold her captive.

“There can be so much shame and there's so much responsibility on the shoulders of the woman that it can feel like her job is to respect and to uphold and to encourage and that love covers a multitude of sins. And I'm sure that that works totally fine in a partnership where you've got two people under the headship of Jesus Christ who are wanting to please and obey him and serve each other. But when only one person is doing that, it just opens the gates wide for rampant abuse in a relationship.”

But her story did end there. Three years later, she is walking with God in a deeper way than she thought possible and finding freedom through healing. In her hardest places, God has been faithful and she shares what she’s learned about his character along the way.

“He didn't love my marriage more than he loved me. He loves me. So a huge part of my own growth and my own awakening is knowing God. It's a day-to-day walk and I feel the Lord shining on me. It is this beautiful experience of having been reduced to pretty much nothing and having all of my dreams destroyed to a place where God is building a city on top of that very same spot and he's using other people in the process of rebuilding.”

I’m thankful for Jeni’s openness in sharing her journey with God and how he is restoring and rebuilding her life. If you or a friend are going through anything similar, check out the online support group Jeni is in for more resources or visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline website www.thehotline.org.

May 06, 2019
Thriving as an Introverted Mom Erin Morgan Ep 245
33:03

I’m so excited to share my dear friend Erin Morgan with you in this episode! We go way back in friendship and in motherhood.

She is the introvert to my extrovert and in this chat we’re diving into how to thrive as an introvert mom. When she and I had younger kids, the constant togetherness of parenting was very draining for her.

“I was just completely overwhelmed, which causes me to withdraw and isolate big time. I just had no energy for other people. I wanted to pursue my friends and my relationships with other people, but there was just no margin for that in my mind.”

We talk about how she learned more about herself as she learned about the gift that introversion can be. As she asked God where she should invest her life, he encouraged her that focusing on motherhood and a few deep friendships was his best for her.

“I had to get with the Lord and be reminded that what I'm doing in this season of life with my children and my family is a true ministry and is where God has me. And I really felt like he was impressing on me this kind of motto for my life, which is that a small and faithful life is pleasing to the Lord.”

I’m so thankful for Erin and her introvert “super powers” of listening and passionate, faithful prayers. She is a thoughtful friend who has a lot of wisdom and encouragement for other introvert moms out there. Extroverts can learn a lot about their introvert friends by hearing what she shares too!

Apr 29, 2019
Budget Isn't a Dirty Word Ericka Young Ep 244
48:56

When Ericka Young and her husband made the choice to get out of debt, they had two small kids and $90,000 to pay off.

In the midst of the expensive, hard season of raising their daughters they worked hard for five years to get debt-free and now Ericka teaches the budgeting principles they used to help others find freedom. She believes that while many of us see a budgeting as restriction it can actually bring a lot of freedom.

“You can be creative if you want, you can call it a spending plan, you can call it a cash flow plan, whatever want to call it is totally fine. But when I say the word budget, everybody has a response, good or bad. And many times it's bad. It is the straight jacket. It's restriction, it's lack of freedom, that kind of thing. But here's the deal. It's what you make of it. Your budget is your own, make it your own.”

We chat about teaching our kids about money and tithing and how we are ultimately stewards of the resources God has given us.

“I love numbers. And so how I get out of my head is to realize that God is my provider. I am not the fixer of all financial issues. God is the provider. He also leads the way. And so when things come up and I have to shift or do a detour or what have you, I still know that he's in control. And so the budget is the guide. It's the plan. But when life happens, I also know that God's got this.”

What we chat about:

  • Her and her husband’s history with debt and money
  • Finances while you are raising young kids
  • Parental peer pressure can cause us to spend money we don’t need to
  • Why having a budget and money goals can help you get a handle on your finances
  • Having shared financial goals with your husband
  • Track your spending for the past three months and see if it aligns with your priorities
  • Plan for out-to-eat meals in your budget and use wisdom on when to eat out
  • Teaching your children about the costs of items and how to spend within limits
  • Being committed to tithing and how to discuss it with our kids
  • Responsibilities, allowances and working with kids on money
  • Why we need cushion in your budget for emergencies. It helps takes stress off an already stressful situation.
  • Your budget can bring freedom from the stress of not knowing where your money is
Apr 22, 2019
Preparing Now for Future Puberty and Masturbation Questions Megan Michelson and Mary Flo Ridley Ep 243
58:02

Depending on your personal background with puberty, sex and the often avoided topic of masturbation, having open conversations with your kids on these topics may feel daunting.

You may want to avoid it or get “the talk” over and done with as quickly as possible. Or maybe your kids are really young and you don’t want to think about it right now. My guests Mary Flo Ridley and Megan Michelson walk us through why starting early talking with our kids about body awareness and establishing our family story about sex is so important.

“What we're trying to get rid of is this idea that this is a one-time conversation in parenting. The world that we are raising our kids in has changed so drastically that the way we as parents talk about sex has to change drastically as well. We can have multiple age appropriate conversations and a little-by-little approach where we establish a conversation pattern where we are the loving authority in our child's life on this topic.”

They have great book recommendations and advice on talking with your pediatrician so you know when puberty is imminent for each child. We cover ways to pursue conversations with your kids and how to talk to them calmly without overreacting.

Finally, we dive into the deeper waters of talking to your older children about masturbation, dealing with our emotional baggage when it comes to sex and how to strike the difficult balance of teaching what is normal and beneficial.

We're hearing from a lot of youth ministers and pastors that work with college kids that this is an epidemic of a great addiction. So there needs to be more of a warning of how this is normal, but not beneficial. That why it's such a difficult topic. You can say, yes, honey, this is absolutely normal. You're learning about your body and how it works, but it can become a habit of comfort. And if this is where you go when you're upset or when you're angry, if this is how you comfort yourself, then this is not beneficial to you in your future.”

Apr 14, 2019
20th Anniversary Q & A Bruce and Heather Ep 242
57:19

To celebrate our 20-year wedding anniversary, Bruce and I are answering your questions! We have a fun time reminiscing on our wedding, the early years of parenting and all the twists and turns our lives have taken since we joined them together.

We talk about parenting styles, balancing our roles and how I learned not to micromanage him when it came to caring for our boys.

As much as we enjoy looking back at our years before kids when we traveled a bunch, the fun concerts we went to, and friends we made, we wouldn’t change what we have now. Bruce makes a great point that if we stay focused on the past, we’ll miss the great things happening now.

Stick around to the end of the episode to find out which one of us said, “I love you” first and my personal philosophy on procrastination. We share our ideas for a perfect weekend (they aren’t the same) and how Bruce plans a typical date night.

Apr 08, 2019
Beating 50 Percent Audrey Roloff Ep 241
51:35

Though millions tuned in to TLC’s hit show Little People, Big World to watch their wedding, the entirety of Jeremy and Audrey Roloff’s love story is significantly less known. Audrey joins me to talk about her marriage, motherhood, and how she and her husband are on a mission to help married couples thrive.

The Roloffs have founded a ministry called Beating 50 Percent which is focused on reviving covenant marriages. They share resources and ideas for couples to inspire them to make their marriages more than average.

“One thing that has been our lifeline since before becoming parents is our marriage journal. It's essentially our communication tool in our marriage. When life is crazy, we know that every Sunday night we're going to have our time to do our marriage journal. We call it our navigator’s council time. But it's basically just a time for Jeremy and I to connect and communicate about things that have come up in the week that maybe there wasn't never that good time to talk about it.”

We chat about how she’s balancing marriage and motherhood since the birth of her daughter, why it’s important to share interests and activities with your spouse and how to balance strong personalities in marriage.

“It’s important to take humble perspective and ask God, what do our roles in this marriage look like and is this something that you are pleased with and how can we be a better reflection of the gospel through our marriage? I feel like God has really been impressing on my heart since the beginning of the year to let Jeremy be my forerunner and to view that as a helpful, beautiful thing that helps me and allows me to run the race better.”

 

What we chat about:

  • Audrey’s background and how she met her husband Jeremy Roloff
  • Jeremy and his family are featured in the reality TV show, Little People, Big World
  • What it was like for her to have her wedding televised for the show
  • Her life verse from Ephesians 3:20 and mantra “Always More”
  • Beating 50 Percent the marriage ministry she and her husband have
  • Their focus is inspiring couples to invest more than 50% effort into their marriage
  • How she’s balancing marriage and motherhood since the birth of her infant daughter
  • Their Sunday marriage journaling time and how they’ve turned it into a book, The Marriage Journal
  • The principle of sharing interests and activities with your spouse and how that can knit you closer together
  • Submitting in marriage when you have a strong personality or leadership gifting
  • What Audrey loves about being a mom
Apr 01, 2019
The School of Dependency on Christ Wendy Speake Ep 240
58:52
Mar 25, 2019
Must Have Conversations Vicki Courtney Ep 239
01:05:04
Mar 18, 2019
Panic Attacks and Growing Trust JJ Heller Ep 238
51:33
Mar 11, 2019
Grace Based Discipline for Kids with Unique Needs Karis Murray Ep 237
56:56
Mar 04, 2019
Preparing Our Hearts for Easter Erin Moon Ep 236
52:37
Feb 25, 2019
Supporting a Friend with Cancer Marissa Henley Ep 235
53:30
Feb 18, 2019
Habits of a Healthy Marriage Paul David Tripp Ep 234
53:07
Feb 11, 2019
Cultivating Friendships in a World of Isolation Sally Clarkson Ep 233
50:44
Feb 04, 2019
The Enneagram and Motherhood Suzanne Stabile Ep 232
01:00:49
Jan 27, 2019
Praising Through the Pain of Physical Limitations Karen Harmon Ep 231
50:18
Jan 20, 2019
Shepherding Healthy Sleep Jenn and Robin Sleepy Cues Ep 230
55:57
Jan 13, 2019
Victory in Ministry and Motherhood Priscilla Shirer Ep 229
38:21
Jan 07, 2019
Not Alone in Shame Sheila Walsh Bonus
22:03
Dec 17, 2018
Not Alone in Overwhelm Kay Wyma Bonus
19:20
Dec 10, 2018
Reconciled Reconcilers Andi Andrew ep 228
47:49
Dec 02, 2018
Family Transformation Starts with Personal Revival KJ Perdomo Ep 227
50:12
Nov 26, 2018
The Anxious or Depressed Spouse Tommy Nelson Ep 226
42:31
Nov 19, 2018
New Mom Q & A Janay Wilborn Ep 225
52:36
Nov 11, 2018
Finding Your Voice Sandi Patty Ep 224
46:41
Nov 02, 2018
How to be Calm and Kind Under Pressure :: Candace Cameron Bure [Ep 223]
46:02

Candace Cameron Bure is an actress, producer, New York Times bestselling author, beloved by millions worldwide from her role as D.J. Tanner on the iconic family sitcoms Full House and Fuller House and of course Hallmark Channel movies. (Christmas is coming and she has a new one coming out Nov. 25)

But, she’s also a mom of three children ages 16 to 20 and an outspoken Christian in the entertainment industry. She shares what it was like to grow up working in entertainment and the values her parents passed on to her. And about how she walks out her faith now as a busy working actress, a career she returned to after choosing to be a stay-at-home mom for 10 years.

We talk about her new children’s book “Candace Center Stage” and how it focuses on the values of hard work and courage, especially for our strong-willed children.

As she takes us into her world, she talks through how she stays calm and kind under pressure and lives for Jesus as she juggles the roles and the callings God has put on her life.

Oct 27, 2018
Connected Relationships Jim Lynne Jackson Ep 222
01:02:45

For day two of Don’t Mom Alone Live, Jim and Lynne Jackson are back to talk all about relationships and answer listener questions.

If you’ve ever felt like a bad parent because of your child’s disobedience or struggle to referee the sibling arguments and fights in your home, this episode is for you! The Jackson’s share their Peace process and how to be confident before God in how you are parenting.

It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon. So we need to have confidence in our ability to be peaceful and not let this child’s behavior define me or tell me that I’m a bad parent. And have the long-term view that God can do anything in a child’s life as I persevere in encouraging and teaching and training.

They share great practicals for blended families and for how to navigate parenting when you and your spouse or co-parent aren’t on the same page. We also dive into teaching your children empathy and social cues as a way to foster great friendships.

In the end, our goal can be to equip our kids to be conduits of God’s grace to the world both through their relationships with others, but it starts with their relationship with us.

When I thought about that the kind of relationships in life that Jesus bought for our kids on the cross, not just with each other but whatever relationships they’d have. I just had this image of “trickle down grace” starting from the cross and just trickling down through us to our kids and then out to the world and our kids. We can grow to become profound dispensers of grace in life to others.

What we chat about:

  • Getting feedback about our kids that makes you feel like a “bad parent”
  • Keeping the long-view when you are training your children
  • There is a dramatic increase in anxiety and depression in children, teens and young adults. It is five to eight times greater than it was 50 years ago.
  • What to do when you and your spouse aren’t on the same page with parenting
  • Ask penetrating questions when your spouse is struggling to parent in kindness.
  • “What are you hoping our kids will learn right now?”
  • Blended family dynamics and how to co-parent well
  • You are building trust with your kids and when you are confident before God in how you are parenting, you can be at peace with how someone else is parenting
  • Ask kids: What do you want to tell me about how you’re feeling and how your time went?
  • Sibling rivalry and how conflict is an opportunity to teach our children how to reconcile
  • The Peace Process the Jackson’s teach: Calm > Understand > Solve > Celebrate
  • Celebrating that your kids reconciled is an important step to future success
  • When your kids feel encouraged and successful when working through conflict, you can see the momentum begin to change
  • Learning empathy as a family and equipping your kids to be more successful in friendship
  • Quick connects with individually with your kids can be more effective than playing with them for longer periods. Find ways to show that you delight in who they are!
  • Use mission trips and giving back to the community as your vacation/connection time as a family

Links Mentioned:

Oct 22, 2018
Discipline 101 Live Event Friday Night Jim Lynne Jackson Ep 221
01:16:28

For the first part of our 2018 Don’t Mom Alone live event, Jim and Lynne Jackson, co-founders of Connected Families, joined me & my husband Bruce to answer listener questions about discipline and how to use their framework for biblically-based parenting.

We share lots of stories of how we have failed as parents and learned along the way.

But then I started to realize maybe my humility was my greatest currency for influence to help her learn the lessons and the values and the things that mattered most… Our kids need to know we’re not perfect. They need to know that we’ll come back to them and say, ‘Hey I blew it. I’m sorry. Would you forgive me?’ And get back to reconciliation in those relationships. — Jim Jackson.

So good!

Jim and Lynne talk us through the parenting framework they’ve developed and redefining how we view discipline with our kids. Ultimately, it comes down to connecting with their hearts and leading them to Jesus instead of trying to control their behavior.

We can help kids embrace the wisdom of the righteous. And that really prepares the way for the Lord to come in our family in a strong way. Because in today’s day and age with all the craziness that’s going on, these kids need a form of discipline that’s not just about punitive correction but that’s about a whole way of life that teaches our kids how to be followers of Jesus. — Lynne Jackson

And it’s not just vision for how we want to parent, the Jacksons also share some super practical tips and give us some ways to respond to our defiant, strong-willed or sensitive kids.

What we chat about:

  • The basis for Jim and Lynn’s parenting framework
  • How do you parent proactively instead of reactively when you feel like you’re just surviving minute
  • What is our goal in parenting? Is it immediate obedience from our children or fostering their ability to make wise choices?
  • Bringing God’s grace into our messy moments
  • Why connecting with God is so essential to how we parent
  • Go into a situation asking, “Lord, what is the opportunity here?”
  • Helping our kids build wisdom instead of feeling the need to express our disappointment when they mess up
  • Trusting that our kids really want to do better
  • Separating behavior from identity in our kids
  • Humility and apologizing well may be our greatest currency as a parent
  • The idea of a parent do-over
  • Tips for parents of younger kids and encouragement for parenting kids who bite or hit
  • We tend to think of behavior as either all good or all bad
  • When our goal is to control their behavior, it doesn’t build trust
  • You don’t have to be mean to be strong as a parent
  • Big, loud, and loving energy can make a big difference in the middle of conflict
  • Luke 1:17- “And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”
  • Strong-willed kids and the importance of calling out their giftings and how God made them
  • Sometimes it’s sensitive and intense children are labeled as strong-willed
  • Psalm 73:21-24 “When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.”

Links Mentioned:

Oct 14, 2018
Calming Angry Kids Tricia Goyer Ep 220
50:19

Tricia Goyer is an author, speaker and homeschooling mom of ten. She also knows what it’s like to parent children with chronic anger. If you’ve ever felt alone in how to calm your “angry kid(s),” Tricia has a lot of wisdom to share from parenting both biological and adopted children.

In true Don’t Mom Alone fashion, Tricia and I answer several listener questions about how to respond in love and help kids of all ages process their anger and emotions. We talk about how much harder it is for the current generation of moms who have to factor in busier schedules, social media and more as a part of their children’s environments

My oldest is 29 and my youngest is 8. It is so much harder now. I feel like I’m on the second generation of kids. Now there is social media. There is more television. There are more video games. The access that they have to all these things brings so much anxiety and tension. Not only do they have to go to school, but then they would come home and see on social media that people were talking about them. It’s just so much more involved now even than it was when I had my first generation of kids.

But it’s not impossible! Tricia shares so many great practical tips and suggestions for how to help our kids (and ourselves) work through anger in a healthy way. But beyond all the tips, it all comes down to leaning into God and praying for the Holy Spirit to fill them that will make the biggest difference.

It’s really the Holy Spirit in them and the fruit of the Spirit is God in them that’s going to change them. I could try all these activities. You know, we could do calming bags or coping skills. I mean we do all the things too. But really it is God in them. And the more they lean on God and the more they depend on him that they’ll truly change.

What we chat about:

  • Tricia’s family, career and unique calling as an adoptive parent
  • Her new book, Calming Angry Kids
  • Determining if your child is struggling with how to process anger in a healthy way
  • Giving our kids time, attention and praise is a powerful antidote to anger
  • Everyone gets mad, what we do with the anger makes the difference
  • When they are in the middle of the emotions, it’s not the time to discipline them
  • Kids learn to apologize when we model it for them
  • Anger is often a secondary emotion from a deeper wounding like shame or feeling unloved or anxiety
  • Family schedules are busier than ever before and it heightens anxiety in kids and parents
  • Take time to process emotions with your kids and say “No” to more activities or events if they need a break
  • Tricia shares both how we can process our own anger and how to help our angry kids
  • The idea of an anger log to help track anger over time
  • Calming bags and items you can include in them
  • Give your kids time and space to calm down
  • Specific tips for pre-teens and teens and helping them with anger and hormones

Links Mentioned:

**Amazon affiliate link. A small portion of your purchase will help produce this podcast.

Oct 08, 2018
Idols of Motherhood Elyse Fitzpatrick Ep 219
49:46

We’ve all been there. Your kid throws a fit in public and you feel the sting of embarrassment and the subtle lie that you aren’t a good enough mom. You fear what others will say and feel like the entire day is ruined in this one encounter.

My guest Elyse Fitzpatrick has lived in this place of fear and presents another way to view your worth as a mother — resting in the righteousness of Jesus. She shares about the very common and subversive idols of motherhood to slip in when we try to control our children’s performance.

But see that’s absolutely soul destroying because you either end up in fear and despair or pride and despair. That’s where you always end up when you’re living for your own righteousness. So in the days that I can lay down and in bed at night and say, ‘Yeah nailed it,’ then I am in pride.

If you’ve struggled to feel “OK” in your own power or have found your personal joy tethered to your kids’ behavior, this episode is for you. Elyse gives us the simple reminder that we have the power through Jesus to topple the idols in our life.

I began to understand this is really idolatry and I’m driving my kids insane trying to prove that I’m really an OK person. That I’m OK when they’re good and I’m a complete train wreck and bad and a loser when they’re not. But, when Jesus becomes who he should be in our lives, then idols lose their power to entice us.

What we chat about:

  • Elyse’s blended family structure and her son’s adoption
  • The balance of the disciplinarian and the more fun parent
  • Insecurity about our own faith and the lie of trying to control our kids
  • The danger of looking for identity in the way our kids behave
  • Looking for the places in our lives where we feel afraid, angry or worried as a barometer for where we aren’t believing God
  • Identifying idols in our lives and what they can look like
  • How our children make us look or feel in front of others can bring up anger in us
  • Elyse’s relationship with her mother and the background of her perceived need for control
  • When Jesus becomes who he should be in our lives, our idols lose their power
  • Not letting our joy be tethered to our kids’ behavior, or even our behavior
  • Our self-centered struggle to feel “OK” in our own power
  • How living for our own self righteousness leads to a soul destroying cycle of pride and despair
  • Resting in the righteousness of Christ and remembering we are forgiven

Links Mentioned:

**Amazon affiliate link. A small portion of your purchase will help produce this podcast.

Oct 01, 2018
Do You Want to Be Well Susie Larson Ep 218
58:02

It’s all too easy slip into believing lies over God’s truth. My guest today shares that healing is possible and opens up about her personal healing journey from both physical and emotional abuse and chronic illness.

An author, radio host, and national speaker, Susie Larson, talks about how intertwined our emotional, spiritual, and physical health are. We talk through stories that are in her new book, “Fully Alive”, and she shares about some powerful experiences she’s had with the Lord.

“The Lord whispered through the chaos in my bathroom. The storms reveal the lies we believe and the truth we need. The enemy’s railing and saying I’m going to get you. I’ve got you by the throat and I felt like my throat was starting I could swallow and my esophagus was spasming. It’s just horrifying to hear the whisper again. Storms reveal the lies we believe and the truth who need.

There’s so much hope and truth in this episode for all of us who are believing for healing this side of heaven. For more inspiration from Susie, I highly recommend her book, “Fully Alive”**, which is available for pre-order right now.

What we chat about:

  • Susie’s experiences with abuse both physical and emotional
  • How our bodies hold onto trauma and hindrances to the healing process
  • Storms reveal the lies we believe and the truth we need
  • The idea of blessing guilt and surrendering to God for healing
  • The lie of learned helplessness and the truth that we’re not helpless with Jesus
  • Rejecting the lies of the enemy and addressing unbeliefs in our soul
  • Confronting the scar tissue of our past and the life that’s on the other side of it
  • God absolutely heals and it isn’t specifically a lack of faith that keeps us from receiving healing
  • Jesus entered in to other’s pain and suffering, that’s our calling too
  • The dangers of over medication and distraction that can keep us from being healed
  • The integral role of rest in the healing process

Links Mentioned:

**Amazon affiliate link to help support the production of this podcast.

Sep 24, 2018
The Gift of Celebrating Biblical Feasts Amber Lee Ep 217
50:32

So much of the Old Testament in the Bible is devoted to the traditions and celebrations of the Jewish faith. It is all a part of the rich heritage that Jesus was born into and the prophecies he fulfills. As Christians, we often skim over the Jewish feasts and traditions and focus on the New Testament.

My friend Amber Lee shares why we should all consider celebrating one or more of the traditional Jewish feasts and how the rhythm of pausing and celebrating the Lord’s provision can be a life-giving practice for you and your family.

For me it’s a gift that the Lord continues to unfold. It’s like a dad saying, ‘Hey, here’s a way to live life better. Here’s something that is better for your soul. If you would just pause the crazy rat race that you’re running for just a minute, for just two hours, and talk with people that you love about what’s going on.’

We talk about the various feasts and about the practice of keeping the Sabbath. But, more importantly, we acknowledge that participating in these traditions is not about being a better Christian or another thing to put on your to do list. It’s really about intentionally pausing life to celebrate God and inviting others into that celebration.

And in each of the feasts, there’s this foreshadowing of bringing in the Gentile or bringing in the outsider. I think it’s just beautiful and the Lord saying it was always my intent to include everyone.

What we chat about:

  • How and why Amber started celebrating feasts
  • The biblical background of Jewish feasts and how Jesus interacted with them
  • It’s about pausing and celebrating how the Lord has provided
  • The names and differences between the various feasts
  • The way the feasts were meant to include outsiders and Gentiles
  • Learnings about Jewish traditions and observing the Sabbath
  • The Sabbath is really about pausing with intention and processing life with the Lord
  • All about the feast of Pentecost and how the layers of prophecy fulfillment enrich the understanding of all that Jesus did
  • How to start with Jewish feasts and tips for starting in small ways

Links Mentioned:

**Amazon affiliate link to help support the production of this podcast.

Sep 17, 2018
Help Your Children Embrace Differences Dorena Williamson Ep 216
50:17

Many of us avoid and struggle with conversations about race or disabilities because it’s uncomfortable. When our children ask innocent questions about someone who is different than they are, it can make us feel tongue tied or embarrassed.

Author Dorena Williamson has created some lovely children’s books to help parents respond and invite their children to join them on the journey of learning to love and speak worth over every person that God created.

And I kept feeling frustrated thinking that’s not the solution to teach your children to be colorblind because that’s minimizing the beauty of God’s handiwork. And as Christians we should be the biggest proponents of celebrating the beauty of our racial diversity and not minimizing it or sort of washing it away and this colorblind land.

She shares powerfully about how to engage with your children about racial and cultural differences and how we can model what it looks like to grow in the area of loving and accepting people who are different than us.

As our children get older, I think that these are valuable conversations to have with them because the beauty of it is that it tells your children you are teachable and that you don’t get it right all the time and that you’re continuing to learn and grow.

What we chat about:

  • All about Dorena’s family and their multiracial church, Strong Tower Bible Church
  • Her book ColorFull and the background behind why she wrote it
  • The creativity of God and how he uses color in all that he created
  • Looking for opportunities to share the beauty of racial differences with our children
  • Language for parents to use to help teach children and avoid shaming
  • Reinforcing the idea that “Different is not bad” and calling out the worth of people
  • Why equipping kids early is important
  • Modeling how we are all growing when it comes to loving and accepting people who are different than us
  • Encouraging our children to ask questions even when they are uncomfortable
  • Engaging with our kids about other cultures whether we can travel internationally or experience cultures in our own cities

Other books/sites that Dorena recommends: 

**Amazon affiliate link to help support the production of this podcast.

Sep 10, 2018
Love and the Outcome Jodi and Chris Ep 215
49:42

Contemporary Christian musicians Chris Rademaker and Jodi King followed God’s call to pursue a musical adventure as the husband-wife duo Love & The Outcome. They share their experiences of selling their home, walking through grief, newlywed life on the road as musicians and their transition into parenting.

Jodi especially talks through how she leans on the Holy Spirit in her parenting, managing expectations and other people’s reactions.

I’ve had to learn how to just know the Holy Spirit. So in the moments when we’re in public and I’m parenting, I focus on Him. It’s so easy to turn and see everyone else’s reaction to what I just did was or I can just try and do my best to really listen to the Holy Spirit in the moment so that I can feel confident in my decisions.

I love how Chris and Jodi open up about playing shows and bringing their two young sons Milo and Ziggy along for the ride. There’s so much encouragement for moms of littles in this episode, including letting our standards slip a little so we can still experience community even if it’s messy and involves take-out food instead of handcrafted meals.

Maybe it’s just a season. But maybe it’s forever. I don’t really know what the Lord has. But letting go of some of my ideals has been so good. I have to acknowledge that I have a 2.5-year-old and a 1-year-old. Life looks like this right now, and it is the dream if I choose to be present to it and enjoy it.

What we chat about:

  • When Jodi and Chris met and started a touring band
  • Their Enneagram types and how they work together as a couple
  • How the Lord directed their path through grief and loss
  • Parenting and challenges that come when touring with kids
  • Dwelling in the Holy Spirit to make decisions
  • Transitions in parenting and learning to lean into the Holy Spirit vs worrying what others think
  • The concessions you make to connect with community when you are in a busy season
  • Freeing yourself up from pre-conceived plans of what life “should” look like
  • A new way to look at living the dream and choosing to be present in what your life is like now

Links Mentioned:

**Amazon affiliate link to help support the production of this podcast.

Sep 03, 2018
Gay Girl, Good God Jackie Hill Perry Ep 214
01:02:58

It’s an uncomfortable and often controversial subject, especially in the church, but homosexuality and same sex attraction is something we all need to understand from a Biblical perspective. This week’s guest Jackie Hill Perry shares how the power of the gospel in her life rescued her from the sin she was living in as a woman with same sex attractions.

She not only brings us into her amazing story, but absolutely preaches the word of God and brings a lot of clarity to what can feel like a gray area for many Christians.

My conscience would not allow me to shake the truth that Jesus died for sin and that he is not pleased with sin at all. So I tried my best to shake him and I couldn’t…And I felt God speak to my heart and say that my girlfriend or my sin would be the death of me. That the wages of sin equals death. Because I saw it wasn’t my girlfriend or my lesbianism alone. It was that my entire life would be the death of me.

Jackie shares stories and insights from her new book Gay Girl, Good God. She also answers listener questions about how to share God’s love with LGBTQ friends and family by treating them as a whole person and keeping the gospel centered on God’s truth and not culture’s.

 

Aug 27, 2018
Adopting Special Needs Alice Candace Ep 213
01:00:47

Often the hardest assignments in our lives bring us the greatest good. I’ve seen it to be true in my own life. And have walked this Truth with friends on their journeys. 

In this episode I’ve invited my friends Alice and Candace to share their stories of adoption. And the process of discovering their adopted children have special needs. We also discuss how God has led them each into new ministries because of the children He’s brought into their families. 

I love seeing God’s purpose for Alice & Candace unfold alongside their leaning on Him for strength and guidance. Not to mention how they follow Him obediently with humor and grace!

I don’t know if God made Millie have autism or if that is a result of living in a fallen world. That’s something that I question every day. But I do know that the struggles that she has had more than anything else have shaped our family in a way that I think brings glory to God, more than the easy and fun and good things.–Alice

Aug 20, 2018
Opportunity vs Disruption Paul David Tripp Ep 212
01:06:43

In the thick of parenting it is easy to get our perspective skewed or react to our children from a place of emotion or our own sin. My guest Dr. Paul David Tripp gives a course-correcting pep talk reminding parents of their deep calling from God and how to look at discipline as an opportunity to connect our kids with God’s goodness.

“You’re never just dealing with behavior. You’re always dealing with what controls the child’s behavior and that’s his heart. And if God consciousness doesn’t rule my heart, self orientation will. That’s what has to change. No I can’t create that change, but I can I can give God’s Spirit an opportunity again and again to work in the heart of my child”

Tripp  is a pastor, international event speaker, and best-selling author. As a father of four grown children, he shares candidly from his own experience. This encouraging episode is packed with a lot of truth! Share with your spouse and friends!

What we chat about:

  • The deeper calling of on our lives as parents
  • We cannot rely on our kids to give us hope for parenting them.
  • How opening our children’s eyes to see God everywhere pulls them away from a self centered existence.
  • God created the world so that it’s very physical nature reveals him.
  • Root the rules that you have for your children in God’s goodness and his love and His grace.
  • Every opportunity we have to discipline or correct is not an opportunity first to threaten  with punishment but to talk about how good God is.
  • Ask the question, “What is God wanting to do in the heart of this child?”
  • Behavior is really about a child’s heart orientation
  • God way of parenting isn’t efficient, but it is transformational  .
  • The values of the world push against our calling as parents. We have to consider where we are placing our treasure and hope.
  • A God perspective for how to respond when your children sin
  • God is exposing something in my child so I can be part of his help and rescue.
  • Parenting is about planting seeds. We aren’t going to see them bloom overnight.
  • Dealing with rebellion and authority issues with grace and consequences
  • Parenting adopted children and helping them with identity
Aug 13, 2018
Help To Read Truth Every Day Raechel Myers Ep 211
53:47

In a time when biblical truth is often narrowed down to a greeting card slogan or a small subset of feel-good encouragements, the She Reads Truth community takes a different approach. The bible studies and reading plans from She Reads Truth take a deep dive into scripture with the goal to understand the big picture of who God is throughout history and our need for his grace.

SRT co-founder and CEO Raechel Myers shares the community’s origin and her personal story of encountering God’s goodness amidst the loss of her daughter. Jump in to hear Raechel share her heart for studying scripture and relying on the Holy Spirit in the difficult places of parenting.

I can base my understanding of God on the 36 years that I’ve experienced with him, but that is a mistake. God’s story is so far back before I ever existed. And so one of the important reasons that we read the Bible is to understand the broader story of who God is and how I fit into his story, not how he fits into mine.

What we chat about:

  • Raechel’s writing background and the purpose behind her first blog
  • How God trained and equipped Raechel through various experiences before She Reads Truth began
  • The origin of the She Reads Truth community
  • Taking God’s word for what it is and not relying too heavily on devotionals or feel-good scriptures alone
  • She Reads Truth has options for everything from free reading plans to beautiful, bound books
  • A new children’s story book they’ve produced called This Is the Gospel
  • Addressing faith and trusting that God is who he says he is with your older kids
  • Why scripture plays such a key role in our understanding of who God is beyond our own experience with him
  • The importance of modeling Christian life for our children’s spiritual formation
Aug 06, 2018
Bonus Mentor Episode--Sibling Conflict :: Jim & Lynn Jackson
57:19

“They just keep fighting!”

Summer, for us, means lots of unstructured time together as a family. Which is great. . . until it’s not.

Perhaps you can identify. Maybe you see yourself in one of the following situations:

Situation #1 – The kids are fighting – again! The harder you try to make it stop, the worse it seems to get – and the kids seem more and more resentful.

Situation #2 – One minute they love each other and the next minute they’re arch enemies. The older they get the louder and angrier it gets. You hate the way this affects everyone’s mood, including your own.

Situation #3 – Time-outs, required apologies, and firmness temporarily curb the fighting, but it soon comes back with more intensity.

Situation #4 – Your young kids are beginning their rivalry and you worry where it’s heading if you don’t learn some better strategies.  (copied from Sibling Conflict Online Course description).

Jim & Lynne Jackson from ConnectedFamilies.org are back to equip us in training our children to solve conflict well. And instead of just wishing they would “just stop fighting”, to recognize the gospel work of guiding our family to reconciliation.

Jim & Lynne have been on the show before sharing their fabulous 4-layer framework for discipline that connects (Listen here to Episode 80 & 81). And again helping connect in any situation (Ep 98). And recently helping us work with our kids on all of our entitlement issues (Ep 200)

Today, they are talking us through The Peace Process. A simple but effective way to guide our kids to a lifetime of reconciled relationships. Here’s their great graphic with the four steps moving us from “crazy mountain” to peaceful reconciliation (Click here to print your own copy):

peace_process