The Adult Chair

By Michelle Chalfant

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Category: Self-Improvement

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Subscribers: 421
Reviews: 3


 Jan 16, 2022

Pat
 Aug 31, 2019
Mrs.Chalfant targets specific issues through each podcast that can help listeners improve themselves. I have found her podcast to be very inspiring in my own life.

MEM
 Dec 6, 2018
Feels like she's trying to rush people through the healing process. Probably not good for those trying to heal from complex/relational trauma. Comes across like a New Age quack.

Description

In The Adult Chair, Michelle Chalfant applies her holistic approach to healing and transformation as a foundation for better understanding our relationship with ourselves and our relationship with stress, anxiety, depression, physical health, self-love, peace, emotional balance, and how our understanding of ourselves impacts the most important relationships in our lives.

Episode Date
315: Emotional Mastery with Dr. Joan Rosenberg
59:42

We all experience emotions, but most of us don’t really understand what emotions are. These feelings can drastically alter our day, our life and our experience in the world, yet they’re intangible and often messy and confusing. It’s no wonder many of us try to avoid them altogether. 

 

Well, get ready to have your mind blown and to see emotions in a whole new light in this brilliant episode with Dr. Joan Rosenberg. Dr. Rosenberg began her study of emotions when she was trying to figure out what made some people confident in life, and her finding was surprising: confidence didn’t just come from a sense of self-esteem but from our ability to handle uncomfortable emotions.

 

As she dug deeper into the human emotional experience, she uncovered a world of surprises around our understanding of emotions and how we can better process, experience and master our emotions. 

 

We talked about why emotions are so uncomfortable for us (it’s not why you think), what a compliment really is and why it matters so much, what drives fear, anxiety and grief, our fears around emotions and how we get stuck in emotion. Dr. Joan also shares her formula for feeling, experiencing and expressing the eight core emotions in an authentic way that helps them truly move through us.

 

Listen to discover:

  • The unexpected key to building confidence
  • "The Rosenberg Reset" formula to build confidence
  • The 3 things that cause our uncomfortable feelings to linger (it's not the feelings themselves!)
  • Steps to build more confidence 
  • The true power of a compliment (this one left me speechless)
  • What's actually underneath fear and anxiety  
  • Why we need to both feel AND express our emotions

As much as I talk about emotions, I was still left speechless more than once in this episode as Dr. Rosenberg got to the heart of what is really beneath certain emotions and my perspective was shifted in so many ways. This is a truly empowering show that will help you live a more balanced and confident life.

 

“We need to learn as humans how to feel our emotions.” - Michelle Chalfant 

 

“The ability or the capacity to handle unpleasant feelings really is the foundation of confidence.” - Dr Joan Rosenberg

 

“I think of confidence as the deep sense that you can handle the emotional outcome of whatever you face or whatever you pursue.” - Dr. Joan Rosenberg

 

"We're one interconnected whole...The brain is always feeding information to the body, and the body is always feeding information to the brain." Dr. Joan Rosenberg

 

"It comes down to handling short-lived bodily sensation waves." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg

 

"100% of the time that sensation morphs and vanishes if they stay with it." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"We metabolize feeling by feeling it and expressing it." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg

 

"If you want to stop your ruminating thoughts, you have to feel the emotion that's underneath the rumination." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"I think of the ability to speak up as the superglue to confidence." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg

 

"A compliment is a reflection of you back to you." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg

 

"What looks like arrogance is insecurity." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg

 

"Disguised grief is the gap between what we wanted, what we needed, what we felt we deserved and what we really got." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

Dr. Joan Rosenberg

https://drjoanrosenberg.com/  

 

“90 Seconds to a Life You Love” (Dr. Joan Rosenberg book)

https://www.amazon.com/Seconds-Life-You-Love-Authenticity/dp/1478999764  

 

Dr. Joan Rosenberg TED Talk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKy19WzkPxE  

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification 

https://theadultchair.com/certification



STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

May 19, 2022
314: Healing our Abandonment Wound with Susan Anderson
52:13

Rejection is one of the greatest fears we have as humans. Even simple rejections like not making the team or being chosen for a job – things we know aren’t personal – still sting deeply. Why does rejection seem to hit at the core of who we are?

Susan Anderson began asking this question when she went through a personal experience of abandonment. The love of her life left her suddenly for another woman, and although she was a practicing psychotherapist with immense knowledge of the human mind, she still found herself in emotional crisis and doubting herself and her worthiness. 

As she dug more into this topic, she discovered that we as humans have a primal abandonment wound – a universal experience that begins when we are born and go from deep union and connection with our mother to a feeling of being separate. This creates deep shame and causes us to search for belonging and worthiness throughout our lives.

And this is why rejection hurts so much: it triggers this deep fear that we might not belong and we might not be worthy. 

In this fascinating and important episode, Susan shares her discoveries on the topic of abandonment, why we experience it the ways we do and how a whole host of other issues in our lives can stem from this wound. We discussed why healing abandonment trauma looks different from healing other traumas, the five stages of healing and the tools (all of which are part of The Adult Chair® model) that can heal it.

 

Listen to discover:

  • The hidden shame we all have and the root of it
  • The different defences we put up against shame
  • How to raise our awareness to our abandonment wounds
  • Why healing from abandonment looks different from other forms of trauma healing
  • Steps to healing abandonment wounding
  • How working with abandonment wounding can help with people pleasing, codependency and self-sabotage 
  • 5 stages of processing abandonment hurt 

The primal wound of abandonment is also an opportunity for primal healing. When we learn to love and accept ourselves as worthy and recognize how deeply connected we truly are, we not only heal our abandonment wound, but we can change almost anything in our lives.

 

"The loneliness is sort of a secondary feeling. The primary is the primal fear and the shame of maybe never being worthy of keeping someone." - Susan Anderson

 

"The personality itself is a defence against the shame." - Susan Anderson

 

"When we look at a relationship that ends, it is a retraumatization of what we experienced as a child." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"The history that leads to a strong reaction in adulthood to abandonment could be very subtle." - Susan Anderson

 

"You have to take this step, and you go through it...The pain is there, but you go through it, and you get to the other side." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"Your adult self can now develop an intense, loving, reassuring relationship with your inner child."  - Susan Anderson

 

"It turns this awful emotional crisis that's so painful into an opportunity for something that's probably long overdue, which is self-love." - Susan Anderson

 

"Doing these steps, you will become an even better, stronger, more self-loving person on the other side of it...even stronger than you were prior to this abandonment wound." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"The kind of self-love that we're developing is deeper, more mature self-love...the kind of love you give yourself because you respect yourself so much." - Susan Anderson

 

"We have to stop looking outside of self and turn our attention inward. That's where healing, that's where love, that's where hope, that's where peace, that's where all the things are that we're looking for outside of ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"When the adult gets strong and is in command, it limits all of this self-sabotage." - Susan Anderson

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

Susan Anderson Website (all workshops and resources can be found here)

https://www.abandonment.net/ 

https://abandonmentrecovery.com 

 

"The Journey from Abandonment to Healing" (Susan Anderson book)

https://www.amazon.com/Journey-Abandonment-Healing-Surviving-Recovering/dp/0425273539 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership (May Theme: How to stop negative thinking) 

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification 

https://theadultchair.com/certification



STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

May 12, 2022
313: Developing a Soul Practice with Graham Chalfant
36:29

Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE deep conversation, and in this show, I’m letting you in on a beautiful conversation I had with my husband during one of our weekly coffee chats. This was totally unplanned, but as our chat turned into a conversation about the soul, connection and spiritual practice, I felt such important information coming through and hit “record” so all of you could join us in thinking about how to live a more grounded and loving life.

 

As humans, most of us live from the place of ego. We stay busy to push down our feelings of loneliness and separateness and miss the presence of something bigger that’s in front of us at all times. When we connect into this deeper part of self, we find comfort, inspiration, ideas and unconditional love. 

 

So, how do we do this? I believe it’s through a “soul practice” of stillness. Stillness is different from meditation, which is quieting the mind to observe our thoughts. Stillness, on the other hand, is stopping all the “doing” and chatter of life and tuning into the deeper parts of our being – our soul. 

 

While this might seem like something reserved for the monks or Zen masters, we can ALL make this a part of life – without quitting our jobs, skirting our responsibilities or even really changing our schedule. In this episode, I share what my soul practice looks like and how I work stillness into my day, one minute at a time.

 

Listen to discover:

  • Steps to connect with your soul
  • Why even meditation can be driven by the ego
  • How to integrate “micro-moments” of stillness into your day
  • The importance of stopping the constant "doing" and instead just "being"
  • The source of inspiration and comfort
  • How to live a more heart-centered life connected to something bigger

True stillness is not ego-driven or another task to cross off our list. It's letting go and just “being” so that something more can come in. 

When you get to the end of this episode, I challenge you to sit in stillness for just one minute (and I literally mean 60 seconds!) and make space for your soul. It’s the place I’m striving to live from more and more each day.

“The soul is never not with us. The human body is a garage for the soul.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“The ideas come when I sit in these moments of stillness.” - Michelle Chalfant 

 

“For me at least, and I think many other people, the meditation feels like more doing. So, even though it’s quieting the mind, you’re doing something.” - Graham Chalfant 

 

“Micro-moments of stillness create relaxation in the nervous system.” - Michelle Chalfant 

 

“One of the fastest ways to slow yourself down is to slow your breath down.” - Michelle Chalfant 

 

“The revolutionary part is that this is the “‘not doing.’” - Graham Chalfant 

 

“When sitting in stillness, we are able to connect with that thing that we all have come from.” - Michelle Chalfant 

 

“If you’d stop doing and stop running so far ahead, the comfort’s right here.” - Graham Chalfant

 

"We're looking for that connection home again, and home is right inside of all of us."  - Michelle Chalfant

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership (May Theme: How to stop negative thinking) 

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification 

https://theadultchair.com/certification



STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

May 05, 2022
312: Healthy Sexuality, Healing Sexual Trauma and Reclaiming Pleasure with Dr. Holly Richmond
42:53

Let’s talk about sex, baby! Our sexuality is a core part of ourselves and the human experience, but for too long, we’ve treated sex as a taboo subject. Well, in this episode, we’re “going there” and hopefully breaking down some walls and shame in the process.

 

My guest on this episode, Dr. Holly Richmond, is a marriage and family therapist, sex therapist and somatic (body-based) therapist who helps individuals and couples heal trauma and find greater intimacy and connection with themselves and each other. In this episode, we talk about why sexuality (and talking about it) is healthy and necessary and how we can create healthier and more passionate sexual connection, even in long-term relationships.

 

We also talk about what sexual trauma is (and why it includes more than just assault or abuse), how it affects our sexual development and how we can reclaim our sexual selves and the pleasure we deserve.

 

Listen to discover:

  • What happens to sexual desire in long-term relationships
  • Why there is so much shame around talking about sex
  • How to talk to kids about sex and the risks of being exposed to porn too early
  • What sexual trauma is and how it impacts us
  • Healing from childhood sexual trauma
  • How to reclaim pleasure and reignite passion at any age

Sexuality is so much more than the physical relationship we have with another person. It’s our experience of passion in the world (“eroticism” refers to our life force, not just our body), and it tells us so much about ourselves. This is why it’s so important to stay connected to this part of ourselves no matter our relationship status, if we’re young and in love or if we have been with our person for years. I hope this episode gives you the freedom to acknowledge, love and prioritize this part of yourself and to live a more passionate and embodied life. 

“The seat of human sexuality, the seat of desire is novelty.” - Dr. Holly Richmond

 

“A lot of western culture, sex and shame go hand in hand.” - Dr. Holly Richmond

 

“Sexual trauma is any experience that feels violating in a sexual way.” - Dr. Holly Richmond

 

“If someone is being sexually coercive, that is a sexual trauma for some people.” - Dr. Holly Richmond

 

“We have to take the whole construct of ourselves into the equation.” - Dr. Holly Richmond

 

“We’re taught to judge the body.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Eroticism means life force.” -  Dr. Holly Richmond

 

“So many of us suffer in silence, and we need to start talking about this. Sex is not a bad word.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Dr. Holly Richmond Website

https://drhollyrichmond.com 

 

Dr. Holly Richmond Facebook

https://m.facebook.com/DrHollyRichmond 

 

Dr. Holly Richmond Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/drhollyrichmond/ 

 

“Reclaiming Pleasure” (Dr. Holly Richmond book)

https://www.reclaimingyourpleasure.com 

 

Dr. Holly Richmond Course

https://www.reclaimingyourpleasure.com 

 

Share Your Love: Review The Adult Chair® Podcast 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification 

https://theadultchair.com/certification



STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Apr 28, 2022
311: How to Overcome Negative Self-Talk, Negative Beliefs and Addiction with Brian Pennie
01:00:38

When Brian Pennie was just a few weeks old, a medical condition nearly killed him, and the surgery the doctors performed to save his life was done without anesthesia, a common practice for young infants at the time (based on the faulty belief that infants couldn’t feel pain). Though Brian doesn’t consciously remember the surgery, his body remembered, and this early childhood trauma would define how he approached the world for the next several decades of his life.

 

From this experience, he learned that the world was a painful, dangerous place, and he developed anxiety at a very young age. When he was a teenager, he finally found an anesthetic to numb the pain from so many years ago: heroin. He spent 15 years addicted to the drug until he found himself in the hospital, unemployed and worried he was brain dead, and he finally let go and surrendered. 

 

That moment of surrender led to an awakening in his life where he was able to connect with something bigger and experience the beauty in the world after years of numbness. He began studying meditation, neuroscience and the ways our thoughts, beliefs and self-talk shape our reality, and he was able to heal addiction at the source by healing the trauma and anxiety that he had been trying to escape.

 

In this incredible episode, Brian tells his powerful story of addiction and healing and then breaks down the science behind how he healed and how all of us can use meditation, breathwork, positive self-talk and inner child work (hello, Adult Chair® tools!) to rewire our brains – whether we’re struggling with addiction, depression, anxiety, trauma or low self-worth. 

 

Listen to discover:

  • Brian's story of medical trauma, addiction and how he got clean
  • How stopping negative self-talk transformed his path in life
  • The science of stress and fear and how the breath can help us control this
  • What self-talk is and how we can use it in an empowering way
  • How to challenge your beliefs and how this changes your internal dialogue
  • The link between self-talk and emotions
  • Action steps to break the cycle of negative self-talk
  • Little ways to start breaking out of depression
  • The key to getting over addiction issues

Brian shares his story with so much vulnerability and authenticity, and he truly embodies The Adult Chair life. This episode will move you, inspire you and show you how we can change the story we’re living by changing the story we’re telling ourselves. 

“I don’t remember the operation, but my body remembers.” - Brian Pennie

 

“I never had the general anesthetic as an infant, but when I was 17, I had done heroin for the first time, and I found my anesthetic.”  - Brian Pennie

 

“The narrative of my life was ‘I cannot cope with anxiety. I need drugs to survive’…I wanted to escape me." - Brian Pennie

 

"That was the moment when I put up the white flag, and in order to move forward, I had to fall down...I surrendered, and I believe that was the start of all the changes in my life." - Brian Pennie

 

“I couldn’t see the thinker because the thinker was me.”  - Brian Pennie

 

"Awareness is the catalyst for change." - Brian Pennie

 

"By changing your beliefs, you change your internal dialogue, you change your self-talk. By changing your self-talk, you change how you feel, you change the consequences of your actions and ultimately change your life." - Brian Pennie

 

"Watch that absolute thinking that says we ‘never ever.’ It keeps us stuck. It keeps us limited." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"The more I worked with my internal state and my emotions, things started to change." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"We do a lot of inner child work with The Adult Chair. It's powerful, powerful work." - Michelle Chalfant

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Brian Pennie Website

https://www.brianpennie.com 

 

"Bonus Time" (Brian Pennie book)

https://www.amazon.com/Bonus-Time-surviving-discovering-everyday/dp/0717186350 

 

Free Inner Child Course

https://theadultchair.com/innerchild 

 

Share Your Love: Review The Adult Chair® Podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification 

https://theadultchair.com/certification



STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Apr 21, 2022
310: How to Live with Happiness Daily with Monique Rhodes
53:00

If you’ve been around The Adult Chair® for a minute, you’ve heard me say that happiness is an inside job. We are so prone to believe that joy comes from our external circumstances, which leads us to strive and strive for what we think will finally make us happy and blame others for our unhappiness. But the reality is that nothing outside of us will be able to make us happy if we don’t first cultivate a sense of joy and peace within.

My guest today, Monique Rhodes, discovered this truth when she went on her own journey of understanding what makes some people happy in life while others suffer. Though today she works as a happiness strategist and calls herself “annoyingly happy,” this wasn’t always the case. After a difficult childhood and a number of tragedies, she ended up in the hospital after attempting to take her own life, which led her to explore a wide range of cultures, philosophies and practices to figure out if happiness was something she could actually create in her life. And it turns out, she could! 

In this episode, Monique shares the practical habits she uses every day to cultivate a sense of happiness in her life and why they make such a difference in our mental state. These are all simple, free and fast practices that work by shifting our minds towards the positive and helping us see the good that already exists in our world. 

 

Listen to discover:

  • The strategies that helped her go from depression to daily happiness 
  • Practical tools to increase happiness 
  • What meditation is and what it isn’t 
  • The cause of suffering
  • How taking responsibility for our lives changes everything 
  • Building healthy social connections for happiness 
  • How to get out of a funk or take steps toward happiness if you’re feeling depressed

We’ve all had that experience where we finally get the job, the house, the relationship, the body or whatever it is we’ve been wanting only to find that nothing about our lives really changes; we still feel sad, depressed or lonely. This is proof that our mental state is what drives our happiness, not things! 

Using the practices in this episode, you can turn up the positive in your life, which will help you find joy no matter your circumstances and help you be more present with the good things that do happen in your life – the icing on the cake of an already happy and peaceful life.

 

“Where we live is in our mind, and when was the last time that we cleaned out our mind?” - Monique Rhodes

 

“We believe that happiness and suffering comes from our external circumstances. But it doesn’t. It comes from that mind that we just do not take care of.” - Monique Rhodes

 

“We have emotional reactions that are triggered usually by things that happened in the past.” - Monique Rhodes

 

“A meditation practice every day is a game changer.” - Monique Rhodes

 

“With meditation, consistency is way more important than intensity.” - Monique Rhodes

 

“Commit to something that you’re willing to commit to, and if you don’t have 10 minutes out of a whole day, you really gotta think about your life.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“I think being happy is our birthright.” - Monique Rhodes

 

“You can find gratitude in anything. You just have to look.” - Michelle Chalfant 

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

Monique Rhodes Website

https://moniquerhodes.com/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership (April Theme: Emotional Regulation)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ 

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification 

https://theadultchair.com/certification



STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Apr 14, 2022
309: How to Save and Strengthen Your Relationship with Matt Fray
01:05:05

You think you’re a good person, you genuinely love your partner and you try to do the right thing …so why are you struggling in your relationship? Why do you and your partner feel unhappy, disconnected and maybe even headed for divorce?

 

These are the questions Matt Fray asked himself after his marriage ended. He knew he was a decent guy. He knew he had loved his wife, been faithful and done the things he thought he was “supposed” to do in a marriage – yet one day she came to him and asked for a divorce. As he walked through the grief and pain of that experience, he began a journey of self-reflection and blogging to try to understand what went wrong and how people can truly have healthy relationships. 

 

What he uncovered was a series of small habits and dynamics that added up in his relationship and eroded trust and safety over time…and that these dynamics exist in nearly all relationships, including relationships made up of good people who really do love each other. Now, he’s on a mission to help good people become good partners by understanding the root of relationship problems and how to fix them.

 

In this episode, Matt reveals the invisible habits that kill relationships, how we can turn our relationships around and how to build trust, safety and lifelong love.

 

Listen to discover:

  • Matt’s story of his marriage ending and what he did next
  • The habits and blind spots that damage and even destroy our relationships
  • The three ways we invalidate people unintentionally
  • Why defensiveness can be so damaging
  • The importance of empathy and consideration in relationships
  • How to break the cycle of invalidation and build trust and safety 

Nothing in life is static. Either we’re cultivating our relationships and on a trajectory of trust or we’re neglecting our relationships and on a trajectory of breakdown. Too often, we can’t see this trajectory until it all falls apart. I love Matt’s work because he’s helping us open our eyes to the invisible ways we’re either creating or damaging our relationships, even when things seem “fine,” and giving us one of the most important gifts a person can have: the power of choice to do things differently and change the trajectory we’re on.

“There’s so much power in that ‘I’m not alone’ experience.” - Matt Fray

 

“That’s when healing truly began — when I took ownership and responsibility for my lot in life.” - Matt Fray

 

“When you think you’re a good person, it’s so easy to not accept responsibility for harm that’s being experienced by someone else.”- Matt Fray

 

“Very good people who really, truly love each other can do this to one another.” - Matt Fray

 

“Once you associate invalidation with the erosion of trust, then you can make the conscious decision to validate.” - Matt Fray

 

“When we go through something unusual, it is our job to share, ‘You know, I really need help with this,’ and it’s our partner’s job to show up and say, ‘I’ve got you.’” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“It’s not about being right – it’s being there in it with that person.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“The low-hanging fruit…is ‘I’m not going to invalidate.’” - Matt Fray

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Matt Fray Website

https://matthewfray.com/ 

 

“This Is How Your Marriage Ends” (Matt Fray book)

https://www.amazon.com/This-Your-Marriage-Ends-Relationships/dp/0063072254/ 

 

“The Mask You Live In” Documentary

https://therepproject.org/films/the-mask-you-live-in/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership (April Theme: Emotional Regulation)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification 

https://theadultchair.com/certification



STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Apr 07, 2022
308: Bending Reality with Yemi Penn
45:51

When we’re born into the world, we’re born into a set of assumptions and norms. When this is all we’ve known, we think this is just the way the world works — but what if it’s all just an illusion? What if there’s another way to live – outside of the status quo – and how can you manifest that life for yourself?

 

Yemi Penn calls this “bending reality,” and, no, she’s not talking about some kind of Star Wars-like force – she’s talking about questioning societal norms, thinking outside of the box for ourselves and removing what gets in the way of the life we want to live. After experiencing childhood trauma and a period of homelessness, Yemi decided it was up to her to transform her trauma and turn it into a gift. This led her to live all over the world, run four successful businesses, tell stories through books and documentaries and build a life inspiring others to overcome fear, find their power and grow into their potential.

 

In this episode, we discuss healing from trauma, how we can reframe our norms and preconceived ideas about life and four steps to radical change – first in our minds and then in our reality.

 

Listen to discover:

  • The definition of trauma
  • Methods that work well for healing trauma
  • What "bending reality" is and how to break out of the status quo
  • Four steps for radical change 
  • The role of ego and identity 
  • The power of suspending disbelief and seeing possibilities for your life

I love Yemi’s perspective because this isn’t pie-in-the-sky thinking or idealism. It’s grounded in science, authenticity and real-life experiences of overcoming trauma and failure in order to show that anything is possible. She is a phenomenal person with so much wisdom to share, and I hope this inspires you to live a bold life of connection, bravery and power.

 

What is a reality you would dream of for yourself if there were no societal conventions and expectations holding you back? What if you decided they didn’t matter? 

 

"I'm asking the question, 'Can trauma be transformative?'" - Yemi Penn

 

"I think there's so much wisdom in our own bodies that we haven't even connected with." - Yemi Penn

 

"We need to start trusting ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant 

 

"Bending reality is almost removing yourself from the reality that we all appear to live in...It means not signing up for what we have been told is the only way to be." - Yemi Penn

 

"Bending reality for me is beginning to learn how to dance with the fear of criticism." - Yemi Penn 

 

"Pretend you were not in this version of reality and you were somebody else. Who would you need to be to make it happen?" - Yemi Penn

 

"The ego really puts us in these boxes and says, 'No, you have to do it this way.'" - Michelle Chalfant 

 

"You can't expect life to show up differently. You have to have radical change." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"We have to subtract the fear from that innate power we have that most of us have forgotten." - Yemi Penn

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Yemi Penn Website 

https://www.yemipenn.com/

 

Yemi Penn TED Talk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrKE2vMamA4 

 

Yemi Penn Documentary

https://www.yemipenn.com/documentary 

 

“Did You Get the Memo?” (Yemi Penn book)

https://www.yemipenn.com/book 

 

Yemi Penn Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/YemiPenn/ 

 

Yemi Penn Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/yemi.penn 

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Events 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification 

https://theadultchair.com/certification



STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Mar 31, 2022
307: Seasonal Affective Disorder with Dr. Norman Rosenthal
55:55

There's a funny meme I see floating around the internet that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was winter."

 

It's a joke, but as always, there's truth in humor – and the reality is that winter REALLY does affect our mood (and how we react to others) at a scientific level.

 

This is due to something called "seasonal affective disorder," or SAD, and it has everything to do with the amount of sunlight we're getting and how it affects our brains. It can even show up as major depression. And in today's episode, I'm interviewing the scientist who discovered this phenomenon himself, Dr. Norman Rosenthal.

 

Dr. Rosenthal is a fascinating man who loves everything from science to poetry and how people can experience greater well-being. He is passionate about, quite literally, bringing more light to this world, and he shares the creative and scientific process of how he and his colleagues discovered SAD, how they tested light therapy for SAD, who SAD affects the most, and some steps we can all take to make it through the winter.

 

Listen to discover:

  • His story of discovering seasonal affective disorder
  • What SAD actually is and how it works
  • The genetic and hormonal roots of SAD
  • The difference between the winter blues and SAD
  • The benefits of light therapy
  • Surprising healing tools like poetry and Botox
  • Rosenthal’s latest work with poetry for healing

As we spring forward and April is around the corner, I’m beginning to feel a sense of hope and reawakening, but we’re not out of the woods yet. SAD is still affecting our friends in the Southern Hemisphere, in places that get a lot of rain like Seattle and England, and any of us who don’t spend enough time getting out in the light. So, here’s your reason to get up from your desk and take a walk around the block on the next sunny day – maybe with a book of poetry in hand.

"Where previously you'd only seen light as a vehicle for vision, now you see it as a vehicle for well-being."  - Dr. Norman Rosenthal

 

"It's genetic, it's hormonal and it's environmental." - Dr. Norman Rosenthal

 

"SAD is actually a form of major depression." - Dr. Norman Rosenthal

 

“I’m a great believer in training yourself to realize when you’re getting enough light.” - Dr. Norman Rosenthal

 

“I don’t think a lot of people understand that this is what happens to so many of us [in the winter months].” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“When you really sit and listen or when you’re reading [poetry], it just speaks to our soul.”  - Michelle Chalfant

 

"As a human, we get to experience everything from love to fear and everything in between. They're rich, beautiful emotions – every single one of them." - Michelle Chalfant

 

LINKS & RESOURCES

 “Poetry Rx”  (Dr. Norman Rosenthal book)

https://www.amazon.com/Poetry-Rx-Inspiring-Poems-Bring/dp/172250546X

 

“Winter Blues” (Dr. Norman Rosenthal book)

https://www.amazon.com/Winter-Blues-Fourth-Everything-Affective/dp/1609181859

 

Verilux HappyLight

https://verilux.com/collections/happylight-therapy-lamps-boxes

 

Carex Day-Light

https://carex.com/products/carex-day-light-classic-plus-light-therapy-sun-lamp

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

 

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Mar 24, 2022
306: Empath vs. Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)
26:39

Does it ever feel like other people in your life just have more capacity than you? They float through busy social calendars, difficult family situations, work stress and world events while you feel overwhelmed, bogged down and exhausted. You wonder what’s wrong with you and if they’re right: you really are too sensitive.

 

If that sounds like you, there is NOTHING wrong with you; you just might be an empath or highly sensitive person (HSP) – someone who takes in more emotions, energy and input from the world around you.

 

Being an empath or highly sensitive person is something that many people live with, but many don’t know it (or even know that it’s a thing!). And while being an empath can be an amazing gift, it can also create challenges in life when we’re unaware.

 

Because we feel others’ emotions so deeply, it can be very emotionally overwhelming and even lead to depression, anxiety and numbing behaviors if we don’t have self-care strategies in our toolbox. This was the story of my life for years until I learned to honor this part of myself, set good boundaries and recharge!

 

In this episode, I’m helping you understand the difference between an empath and a HSP, the signs you might be an empath and steps to take care of yourself if these traits resonate with you.

 

Listen to discover:

  • The definition of an empath and a HSP
  • The difference between empathy and being an empath
  • 13 traits of empaths
  • How to raise awareness to these traits in yourself
  • Survival and self-care strategies for empaths and HSPs

Empaths and HSPs don’t have any less capacity or ability to handle life than anyone else. They don’t need to “toughen up” or get thicker skin, and there’s no such thing as being too sensitive. In reality, empaths and HSPs are very strong people who are just taking in more of the world than the average person.

Through self-care, we can learn to manage all the “inputs” coming in and create time to recharge, so we can balance our wonderful sensitivity with our needs. I hope the strategies in this episode help you survive and thrive in an overwhelming world without numbing out or squashing your beautiful empathetic gifts.

“There’s a big difference between just someone who’s sensitive with a lot of empathy and an empath.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“An empath is highly attuned to the energy of others.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“We’re picking up on other people's emotions and we think they’re ours.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“If you are moody, if you feel low a lot, even if you’re depressed, it could be that you’re taking on too many people’s emotions.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“I learned not to open myself up to everybody’s problems.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“No matter what you are – HSP or empath – please practice excellent self-care.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

LINKS & RESOURCES

 

Empath Meditation for Cleansing and Clearing Your Energy

https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/empath-meditation-for-cleansing-and-clearing-your-energy/

 

A Guided Meditation for Cleansing Relationships and Cutting Cords

https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/a-guided-meditation-for-cleansing-relationships-and-cutting-cords/

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

 

STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Mar 17, 2022
305: How To Build Healthy Relationships
30:05

Relationships are one of the most basic human needs, but building healthy relationships takes self-awareness and work. While we talk a lot about behaviors that can make a relationship unhealthy, such as narcissism and gaslighting (which are both more than unhealthy – they’re abuse), I thought it was time to talk about what makes a relationship a keeper. 

What traits can you look to as your benchmark to see if your relationship is healthy and what should you aspire to if you’re working on creating healthier relationships in your life?

In this episode, I’m sharing eight traits that healthy relationships have in common – whether that’s a relationship with a partner, friend, family member or anyone! 

 

Listen to discover:

  • The 8 qualities of a healthy relationship
  • What an apology is and what it isn’t
  • How to have open, honest communication
  • Relationship truths to live by

This doesn’t mean you have to get this right 100% of the time to be healthy, but healthy people DO work to repair mistakes and deepen connection, and that is what these practices will help you do.

Remember that, while it takes two to tango, you can change the dance of your relationship just by working on yourself. As you live more authentically from your Adult Chair, you will find the way you respond to others and the way you show up and communicate changes. If you’re in a relationship with another healthy individual, they will be drawn to match your energy and meet you with more authenticity, vulnerability and openness – the keys to connection. 

“We don’t need to change other people to become who we want them to be.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“If you hurt someone you care about, you apologize.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“People in healthy relationships are interested in knowing what you need.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“We remember to use the word ‘I’ and not ‘you.’ We express OUR needs.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Relationships take work they really do.” - Michelle Chalfant

  

LINKS & RESOURCES 

Episode #302: Gaslighting 101

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/302-gaslighting-101/ 

 

Episode #301: Narcissism 101: What It Is & How To Heal It

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/301/ 

 

Episode #261: How to Receive a Boundary from Your Adult Chair

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/261/ 

 

Adult Chair® Coaches

https://theadultchair.com/coaches/ 

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification 

https://theadultchair.com/certification



STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Mar 10, 2022
304: Trauma Healing with Ilene Smith
38:42

When we think of trauma, many of us think of war, a car accident or a major, life-altering event. Though all of these events are certainly traumatic, they are only one type of trauma – what we often call “big T” trauma.

 

But there are many other forms of subtler trauma, including small events that happen over and over again (especially in childhood), that overwhelm our nervous systems and shape the way we move through the world. I would argue that most humans have had some sort of trauma in their lives, and you’d be surprised by how many times I’ve sat with clients who didn’t even know they had trauma. Heck, it took me decades to realize I had trauma from childhood! 

 

I think this is partly because trauma is such a loaded word, so on today’s show, I’m talking with a trauma expert, Ilene Smith, about what trauma actually is, how to notice if we’re living with trauma and how to heal it.

 

Listen to discover:

 

  • What trauma is 
  • Clues that you might be living with trauma
  • How trauma affects attachment style as adults 
  • What trauma bonding is
  • How to heal a dysregulated nervous system 
  • Steps to heal trauma starting today 

 

 

Here’s the thing about trauma: it has less to do with what actually happened (the event) and everything to do with how that event was interpreted and processed by our nervous system. Even small things can be overwhelming to the nervous system when they happen over time, when we’re children (because we don’t have any filters or discernment) and/or when we don’t have a strong sense of safety and support to help us process the painful events of our lives. And once our nervous system has been “trained” to react a certain way, it can get stuck there even once the trauma is over.

 

Bringing a sense of safety back to the nervous system is key to building up resilience and allowing yourself to process the stuck fight, flight or freeze energy. This happens in the body, which means the ability to heal your nervous system is as close to you as you are to yourself. I hope this episode brings you some lightbulb moments on what might be happening in your body and how you can begin to connect and heal.

 

“People often think of trauma as an event, but it's really the energy that gets locked in the body around real or perceived threat." - Ilene Smith

 

“Trauma can be a series of lots of little things.” - Ilene Smith

 

“The way we’re living could be the residuals of those childhood experiences.” - Ilene Smith

 

“As a kid growing up, we don’t know, ‘Oh wait, I’m emotionally not safe.’” - Michelle Chalfant 

 

“When there’s childhood trauma, relationships are much harder when you enter adulthood.” - Ilene Smith

 

“There’s usually something unhealed if we can’t attach in healthy ways.” - Ilene Smith

 

“When we get into reactivity, we don’t get into our experience.” - Ilene Smith

 

“The healing journey is about the body.” - Michelle Chalfant 

 

“When you think about going towards a distraction, think about what it might be like to get into your body in a safe way.” - Ilene Smith

  

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

Ilene Smith Website

https://ilenesmith.com/ 

 

Ilene Smith Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/ilenesmithhealing/ 

 

“Moving Beyond Trauma” (Ilene Smith book)

https://movingbeyondtrauma.co/ 

 

ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) Test

https://www.acesaware.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/ACE-Questionnaire-for-Adults-Identified-English.pdf 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership (March Theme: Self-compassion)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ 



MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification 

https://theadultchair.com/certification



STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Mar 03, 2022
303: The Anxiety Survival Guide with The Anxiety Sisters
56:06

Do you know what anxiety really feels like? I’m not talking about the emotions of fear or stress, but what it feels like in your body.

 

So many of us live with anxiety and don’t even know it because it’s SO physical. It’s even easy to mistake it for physical disease, like heart issues or digestive issues.

 

That was the case for Abbe Greenberg and Maggie Sarachek, two soul sisters who are both mental health professionals and the founders of Anxiety Sisters, a supportive community for those living with anxiety. Though they can now see how their anxiety began showing up in early childhood, for years, they bounced from doctor to doctor and even spent time in the hospital before realizing the root cause of their suffering was anxiety.

 

This began their passion to help raise awareness around anxiety and help anxiety sufferers learn how to live full, happy lives – anxiety and all. We had an incredible conversation about all things anxiety and how to heal it, and I resonated with so many parts of their story…these ladies are the real deal!

 

Listen to discover:

  • Our stories of recognizing and healing anxiety
  • How anxiety manifests as physical symptoms
  • The power of acceptance in managing anxiety
  • Why connection is key to healing anxiety
  • How to pack a "spin kit" so you'll be prepared when anxiety strikes
  • The difference between anxiety and a panic attack
  • How to overcome phobias and agoraphobia

I know I have a lot of favorite topics, but anxiety is one I really feel we can't talk about enough. Too many people in the world are suffering from anxiety without even knowing it, and we have so many tools – from our support system to our sensory system – to help us find peace and balance in life.

It’s not about never feeling anxious again but learning how to find your own brand of happiness and how to take charge so anxiety no longer runs the show.

"I still didn't have the vocabulary or the words to make these connections of what I was feeling and how that was connected to anxiety."  - Maggie Sarachek

 

"Anxiety becomes really debilitating when it's in the driver's seat." - Abbe Greenberg

 

"I think there is this process of accepting anxiety." - Maggie Sarachek

 

"Acceptance doesn't mean anything other than, 'This is where I am.’" - Michelle Chalfant

 

"Our brand of happy is anxious happy." - Abbe Greenberg

 

"Anxiety can no longer sneak up on you. And when it can't sneak up on you, it takes away two thirds of its power." - Abbe Greenberg

 

"No two people have the same exact anxiety and panic." - Michelle Chalfant

 

LINKS & RESOURCES

Anxiety Sisters Website

https://anxietysisters.com/

 

Anxiety Sisters Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/anxietysisters

*Home of a Tuesday night book club + supportive community

 

The Spin Cycle (Anxiety Sisters Podcast)

https://anxietysisters.com/podcasts/

 

"The Anxiety Sisters' Survival Guide" (Anxiety Sisters Book)

https://anxietysisters.com/anxiety-sisters-survival-guide/  

 

Adult Chair® Coaches

https://theadultchair.com/coaches/

 

The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Feb 24, 2022
302: Gaslighting 101
26:38

You love them, and you think they love you…so why does it feel like you’re going crazy so often in your relationship? 

 

You leave conversations feeling confused, questioning your reality and maybe even questioning your own sanity.

 

You might be in a relationship with a gaslighter.

 

Gaslighting is a term that is thrown around frequently, but it is far more than someone questioning us or challenging us. Gaslighting is intentional, manipulative and designed to whittle away someone’s self-confidence. In short, it’s abuse.

 

Though gaslighting often happens in romantic relationships with narcissists, it can also happen in friendships and family relationships, with men and women and with people who don’t struggle with narcissistic traits but who might struggle with control issues or other mental disorders. 

 

In this episode, I’m sharing what gaslighting is, what it looks like in real life and ways to tell if you’re being gaslighted. 

 

Listen to discover:

  • What gaslighting is
  • What it looks like and sounds like
  • 5 tactics of a gaslighter
  • 2 signs you might be in a relationship with a gaslighter
  • What to do if you're being gaslighted 

The term “gaslighting” actually comes from a 1944 movie about a man who tries to make his wife think she’s going insane…and that is exactly how being gaslighted feels – crazy making! 

If you are experiencing this type of abuse, you can start the healing process by building up self-worth and finding people who can help guide you back to what is true about you and your life. The more connected you are to yourself, the better you will be able to see what is real and what is not and make decisions about how to move forward.

"Gaslighting – let's be clear – it's abusive." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"If someone is gaslighting you, you're going to feel confused, and confused a lot." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"Gaslighting is all about manipulation, power and control." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"'I'm sorry you feel that way,' is not an apology." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"When the person that you love keeps speaking to you like this, it wears you down." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"A gaslighter is the eternal victim." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"If someone is gaslighting you, stay in your own reality. Do not challenge them...you'll never win." - Michelle Chalfant

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Episode #301: Narcissism 101: What It Is & How To Heal It

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/301/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification 

https://theadultchair.com/certification



STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Feb 17, 2022
301: Narcissism 101: What It Is & How To Heal It
40:42

Narcissism is such a buzzword these days...it can be tempting to throw the label at anyone in our lives who isn't healthy or who is a little bit full of themselves. While I love that psychology is so accessible and that the world has a lot more awareness of narcissism than in the past, it’s so important to understand what narcissism really is, so we can spot it and heal from it – whether you are in a relationship with a narcissist or believe you’re a narcissist yourself. 

 

In this episode, I’m breaking down the core traits of narcissism (it’s more than just a big ego), the childhood wounding that leads to narcissism and the steps you can take to heal the painful effects of narcissism.

 

Listen to discover:

  • What narcissism is
  • The top traits of narcissism 
  • How narcissism forms
  • How to spot narcissist red flags in a relationship 
  • Breaking down "love bombing," "gaslighting" and other common narcissistic tactics (with examples) 
  • How to heal if you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist
  • How a narcissist can heal

Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be incredibly painful. It’s often filled with emotional abuse and manipulation, put downs and a lack of empathy that can be incredibly confusing and damaging to our sense of self. If you’re experiencing any type of abuse in a relationship, get out! 

At the same time, it’s important to remember we’re all human, and the narcissist is also in pain from deep childhood wounding that has caused them to cover up their true selves. With awareness, any of us can heal, and I hope this episode helps shed some light on the topic of narcissism and gives you practical tips for healing, whether you’re recovering from a relationship with a narcissist or have narcissistic traits yourself. 

"Let's be really clear: true narcissism is a personality disorder." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"Narcissists can love, but they can't empathize. They can't feel their emotions, so how in the world are they supposed to connect to your emotions?" - Michelle Chalfant

 

"Narcissism is a mask." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"They inflate their sense of self to feel important in the world." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"At the root of both these narcissistic pathways is deep shame." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"The narcissist just wants admiration from you, and once they hook you, everything starts to change." - Michelle Chalfant

 

“You did not get into the relationship knowing what you know now. In a sense, you were tricked.”  - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Anybody can heal that wants to heal. Anybody.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Adult Chair Podcast Episodes on Feeling Emotions https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/?sterm=emotions 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership (February Theme: Crack your mask)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification 

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Feb 10, 2022
300: How to Be a Boundary Boss with Terri Cole
40:24

Are you convinced you’re just bad at boundaries? Do you worry this is a trait that you were born without and you’re just destined to feel taken advantage of and resentful for the rest of your life?

 

The truth is that no one is born good at boundaries! They’re not something you have or don’t have; they’re a skill you develop. That’s right – you CAN become a boundary boss!

 

My guest today, Terri Cole, is a boundary boss herself and a licensed psychotherapist who helps people from all walks of life overcome the “disease to please,” speak their truth clearly and confidently and live more free, peaceful lives. We talk about how our boundary scripts form (and why it’s not your fault), how to navigate conflict in a healthier way and a POWERFUL list of “boundary rights” you have that will inspire you to take more control of your life today!

 

Listen to discover:

  • Why boundaries are so hard to set
  • Steps to stop abandoning yourself and set better boundaries
  • “The Boundary Boss Bill of Rights” (this is SO powerful!)
  • How to handle pushback against boundaries
  • What to do about boundary "repeat offenders"

The cool thing about boundaries is that once you start setting them, it gets easier and easier. Though some people will push back against your boundaries, you might be surprised by the amount of appreciation and respect you get from others when you begin setting boundaries. 

You will learn that conflict doesn’t equal disconnection – in fact, boundaries deepen connection and prevent resentment – and you will really experience what it feels like to be loved for your authentic self. And once you know how that feels, there is no turning back!

“We all have this downloaded boundary blueprint in our unconscious mind.” - Terri Cole

 

“It’s your own personal rules of engagement…All of our boundaries are incredibly unique.” - Terri Cole

 

“We were raised and praised — most of us — for being self-abandoning codependents.” - Terri Cole

 

“It’s so much easier to say no when you haven’t already said yes.” - Terri Cole

 

"'Isn't self-care selfish?' No, it's self-loving!" - Michelle Chalfant

 

"Once you start doing it, it feels so good to be known. It feels so good to be accurately seen." - Terri Cole

 

"We can stay lovingly attached to the people in our lives while we set boundaries." - Terri Cole

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Terri Cole Website

https://www.terricole.com/

 

Terri Cole Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/terricole/ 

 

“Boundary Boss” (Terri Cole book)

https://boundarybossbook.com/ 

 

The Terri Cole Show (Terri Cole podcast)

https://www.terricole.com/podcast/ 

 

Free Boundaries + Codependency Resource from Terri Cole

https://boundaryboss.me/michelle  

 

Episode #140: Love and Boundaries with Terri Cole

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/140-love-and-boundaries-with-terri-cole/ 

 

Episode #261: How to Receive a Boundary from Your Adult Chair

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/261/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership (February Theme: Crack your mask)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification 

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Feb 03, 2022
299: Healing from Heartbreak and Finding Self-Love with Gabrielle Stone
39:07

A month-long trip to Europe might sound like a dream, but for Gabrielle Stone, it was one more curveball during one of the hardest years of her life.

 

After catching her husband cheating on her, getting divorced, falling head over heels for a new man and planning a dream trip to Europe with him, days before they were scheduled to leave, he told her he would be going on his own.

 

With a plane ticket in her name and a choice to stay home or leap from the world of “serial monogamy” to a solo adventure, Gabrielle chose the path of adventure, and in doing so, began a journey of self-discovery and healing that has become the “Eat, Pray, #FML” movement.

 

Alone with her emotions halfway across the world, Gabrielle started journaling and reflecting on herself and the patterns in her life. Through connecting with herself and discovering what self-love really means, she healed heartbreak, trauma and abandonment, and today, she vulnerably and authentically shares her journey with the hope of inspiring others.

 

Listen to discover:

 

  • Gabrielle's story of healing from abandonment, trauma, divorce and depression 
  • Practical, tangible ways to love yourself
  • Gabrielle's "self-love cocktail" and how you can create your own
  • The "thought onion" process for working with negative and subconscious thoughts
  • The connection between trauma and the relationships we attract

 

Gabrielle is relatable, funny and honest as she talks about life, relationships and changing our unhealed patterns so we can change our lives. I hope her story is an inspiration to anyone who needs to feel like you’re not alone and find joy in the healing process.

 

"That relationship was really what pushed me to go heal a lot of this abandonment stuff." - Gabrielle Stone

 

"There's something very therapeutic about physically writing in a journal." -  Gabrielle Stone

 

"When I realized that loving yourself is as simple as giving your soul the things it loves, it totally changed everything for me." - Gabrielle Stone

 

"We don't take enough time – down time – to get to know who we are." - Michelle Chalfant 

 

"When you keep attracting the same kind of people into your life, you have to look inward." - Michelle Chalfant



LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Gabrielle Stone Website

https://www.eatprayfml.com/ 

 

Gabrielle Stone Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/gabriellestone/ 

 

Gabrielle Stone TikTok

https://www.tiktok.com/@gabrielle_stone 

 

“Eat, Pray, #FML” (Gabrielle Stone book)

https://www.amazon.com/Eat-Pray-FML-Gabrielle-Stone/dp/1733963707 

 

“The Ridiculous Misadventures of a Single Girl” (Gabrielle Stone book)

https://www.amazon.com/Ridiculous-Misadventures-Single-Girl-Pray/dp/B09G5GRJJM 

 

FML Talk (Gabrielle Stone podcast)

https://www.eatprayfml.com/fml-talk 

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)

https://theadultchair.com/certification



MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)

https://theadultchair.com/certification



STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Jan 27, 2022
298: How to Work with and Tame the Inner Critic with Jenny Jansen
41:02

All of us have an inner critic – the part that reminds us of our limits, our failures and tries to “keep us in line.” It’s that voice inside your head that can be critical, judgmental and even mean. Though it’s just one part of who we are, the inner critic is one of those parts that can be especially painful and stressful to deal with.

 

Not only does the inner critic impact our sense of self-worth, but it also keeps us stuck and small in life (although it thinks it’s keeping us safe). We will often find this part standing between us and the dreams that are in our heart, telling us all the reasons why we can’t or shouldn’t.

 

That is what Adult Chair® Coach Jenny Jansen encountered when she was considering joining The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Program. She knew her heart was telling her to take the leap, but her inner critic dialed the volume up and tried to keep her stuck in fear. 

 

In this episode, Jenny tells the story of how she used The Adult Chair® to work with and transform her inner critic and how that was the first step toward living a life where she feels purposeful, energized and successful. Jenny shares a detailed example of doing her own parts work, helping illustrate what this work looks like in real life and how transformational it is.

 

Listen to discover:

  • How Jenny transformed her inner critic from her Adult Chair
  • The tools Jenny used to work with her inner critic 
  • A beautiful parts work example from Jenny’s work
  • How Jenny overcame her fears about The Adult Chair Coaching Certification and became an amazingly successful coach

As Jenny worked with her inner critic, she discovered that underneath the blame and shame it was throwing her way was fear. This is usually the case for our Adolescent parts – they are afraid and want to keep us safe. When we turn towards them with our healthy Adult voice and let them know they’re ok, they transform. 

Jenny’s story is a powerful example of how the goal is not to get rid of parts of ourselves but rather to integrate them into our whole self, with our healthy Adult in charge.

“I feel like my inner critic was born when I was born.” - Jenny Jansen 

“When I turned toward it, I realized there was so much fear underneath.” - Jenny Jansen 

“The more you turn away from that voice, it gets louder.” - Michelle Chalfant 

“When we’re able to turn toward those parts and get to know them, they morph.” - Michelle Chalfant

“A lot of times, we mix up feeling safe with feeling familiar.” - Jenny Jansen 

“What is it going to take to move your body path in line with your soul path?” - Jenny Jansen 

“When we take these risks and work with these inner parts and walk through our fears, we become more authentic. We live more from our true self, our true essence, and we have an experience of it.” - Michelle Chalfant

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Jenny Jansen Website

https://www.trueconsciousliving.com/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Jan 20, 2022
297: Overcoming Fear with Scout Sobel
41:32

When we think about the lives we want to live – the things we want to do and experience and the big dreams we have – the ego will give us a thousand reasons “why not.”

Some of these reasons might be real traumas or health issues we have to overcome; others are figments of the ego’s imagination…fear and discomfort that scream at us to stay in the safe place.

 

But one thing is certain: anyone who has created more for themselves has overcome struggles and fears to build the life of their dreams.

 

My guest, Scout Sobel, shares her story of working through depression and bipolar disorder and overcoming fear to become a successful entrepreneur, building a company rooted in emotional health and inspiring others with her podcasts about business and self-care. She shares her healing journey, her non-negotiable practices that keep her body and mind in balance and how she continues overcoming fear daily to create a life beyond what she thought possible.

 

Listen to discover:

  • How Scout became an active participant in her own healing
  • The rituals and practices Scout uses each day to stay emotionally healthy
  • The power of taking “radical responsibility” for our emotions
  • The importance of not settling and how to find a framework for life that works with how you’re uniquely wired
  • Listening to your inner compass and finding safety in your emotions

Scout’s story is full of deep wisdom about how we actually grow and heal as humans. She talks about the power of acceptance, and how her life began to change when she accepted that challenges were part of being human and she took responsibility for her life and healing. 

As we go into a new year, I hope this episode inspires you to take radical responsibility for YOUR dreams and make this year more than you can imagine! 

“The real work is within you.” - Scout Sobel

“There is no such thing as a magic pill.” - Michelle Chalfant

“I think one of my biggest breakthroughs came from accepting and not resisting.” - Scout Sobel

“If you’re struggling with anything, I really believe that your healing is behind that resistance.” - Scout Sobel

“You have to walk through discomfort and challenging moments to get what you want in this lifetime.” - Scout Sobel

“Acceptance doesn’t mean you freaking like it.” - Michelle Chalfant

“If you are experiencing fear that is causing you to be paralyzed or remain stagnant in your life, I want you to ask yourself, ‘What future has fear already robbed you of?’” - Scout Sobel 

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Scout Sobel Website

https://www.scoutsobel.com/ 

 

Scout Sobel Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/scoutsobel/ 

 

Okay Sis (Scout Sobel Podcast)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/okay-sis/id1434353917 

 

The Emotional Entrepreneur (Scout Sobel Podcast)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-emotional-entrepreneur-podcast/id1505252696 

 

“The Emotional Entrepreneur” (Scout Sobel Book)

https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Entrepreneur-Scout-Sobel/dp/0578951754 

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Jan 13, 2022
296: How Self-Validation Will Change Your Life
35:50

In my 25 years of practicing as a therapist and holistic life coach, I found that there was one common root cause behind many of the issues my clients were facing: low self-worth. From codependency to difficulty with decisions or boundaries, not having a strong connection with the inner self was often the driving force behind these challenges.

 

Most of us have a tendency to look outside of ourselves for worth and validation, and building up a strong sense of who we are on the inside takes practice. One of the simplest and most powerful places to start is with self-validation.

 

Self-validation is when we notice who we are – our actions, thoughts and feelings – and we affirm ourselves. It’s not bragging or comparing ourselves to others but rather speaking truth to ourselves and cheering ourselves on…which not only builds up our sense of self-worth but also leads to healthier relationships as we stop looking to others to validate us.

 

In this episode, I’m sharing more about the power of self-validation and simple steps for how you can begin a practice of doing this every day. It literally takes seconds to do, and over time, it will change your life! 

 

Listen to discover:

  • What self-validation is and why it’s important
  • The connection between self-validation and self-worth
  • What self-validation looks like in real life
  • Steps to starting a practice of self-validation
  • The difference between self-validation and narcissism or bragging

No one can make us feel or believe something we don’t believe about ourselves. So, if we don’t have a sense of our own self-worth, no amount of validation from others is going to give us what we need. It’s an endless cycle of approval-seeking that never fills us up. 

That’s why we have to lay a foundation of self-worth and believe in our own goodness so that when others validate us, we can actually let it land and show up more authentically – as the true self that we know and love.

“Self-validation starts a domino effect to help heal all of these things because self-validation starts to build self-worth.” - Michelle Chalfant

“Self-validation is when we notice what we’re doing or thinking or feeling and we acknowledge it, we own it and then we give ourselves a pat on the back about it.” - Michelle Chalfant

“If you want healthy relationships, start out by self-validating. It is unhealthy for us to rely on external validation.” - Michelle Chalfant

“Self-validation is the healthy way to feel good about self.” - Michelle Chalfant

“When you add that validation that takes seconds, my internal self gets built up, my self-worth gets built up, my sense of self becomes a little bit more positive.” - Michelle Chalfant

“It’s your job to share with others what you need.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Jan 06, 2022
295: Holiday Special: How to Change Negative Programs and Patterns with Adele Spraggon
01:06:05

When you think about wanting to change or transform, what do you typically think of changing? Most of us think of a behavior or action – something we are doing. If we’ve been doing our work for a while, we might think of a thought pattern or belief. 

 

But what if everything we do and think is just the tip of the iceberg? What if our actions, behaviors and beliefs are actually the manifestation of deep unconscious patterns in our brains, and if true transformation happens by transforming these patterns?

 

In this episode, I talk with the incredible Adele Spraggon, a behavioral change and brain expert, about what drives human behavior, why traditional methods of change fail and how we can identify and transform the unconscious patterns that drive our behavior without us even knowing it. 

 

We’re covering so many topics from relationships to money (because the brain affects them all!), and you will learn Adele’s four-step process for working with negative patterns, even those in your subconscious mind.

 

I LOVED my conversation with Adele – a true soul sister who speaks The Adult Chair® language – and I know you will too.

 

Listen to discover:

  • Why simply trying to change behavior doesn’t work
  • The real reason why you do what you do
  • The problem with goal setting
  • How to actually transform actions, behaviors and beliefs
  • Steps to changing unconscious brain patterns
  • Surrender vs. acceptance
  • How this can change your relationship with money, your partner, your family, etc.

Too often we try to change only the external or we try to simply work against the negative patterns in our brain, and we wonder why our lives don’t change. As you will learn in this episode, the key is that we have to get rid of the old pattern before we can replace it with a new one...and this episode will show you how! 

 

“How we are taught to change behaviors is not effective. What we need to do is deal with our brain’s patterning instead of the actions that we're taking, the beliefs that we’re holding or the behaviors we’re adopting.” - Adele Spraggon

“Between us and our situations, there lives an interpreter, and that interpreter is our brain.” - Adele Spraggon

“We create this roadmap from [age] 0 to 6 that we’re living in as adults.” - Michelle Chalfant

“Mindset originates in the unconscious patterning of the brain.” - Adele Spraggon

“I love triggers because so much is revealed in a trigger.” - Michelle Chalfant

“People don’t procrastinate. We avoid.” - Adele Spraggon

“Everything about who a person is today is the result of every pattern that has brought them here.” - Adele Spraggon

“The biggest gift you can give another person is to allow that person to show up brand new every time you see them.” - Adele Spraggon

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Adele Spraggon Website

https://www.adelespraggon.com/ 

 

“Shift: 4 Steps to Personal Empowerment” (Adele Spraggon Book)

https://shift4steps.com/ 

 

2022 Adult Chair® Membership

2022 Theme: A Year of Conscious Living

​​https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/U6FHGTjV/checkout 

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/ 

Or find on Amazon or Target.com

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Dec 30, 2021
294: Holiday Special: Childhood Emotional Neglect with Dr. Jonice Webb
46:35

Do you find yourself feeling unfulfilled and empty, despite seemingly having everything you need to be happy? Do you crave closer relationships but feel like you can’t connect at the deep level you want?

 

These feelings can often be subtle signs of childhood emotional neglect, which is when our parents or caregivers didn’t tend to or validate our emotions as children. This sets us up for an adult life where we don’t know how to feel our own emotions which is essential to experiencing joy, passion and connection! 

 

In this show, I’m chatting with Dr. Jonice Webb, a psychologist and author and a highly requested guest in The Adult Chair® community, about how to spot childhood emotional neglect and how to begin the process of accessing your emotions as an adult. This show is filled with incredible insights into an issue that unknowingly affects so many of us and how to heal from it.

 

Listen to discover:

 

  • What childhood emotional neglect is
  • Why invalidating our feelings leads to shame
  • How childhood emotional neglect affects adult relationships
  • What emotional intimacy is
  • Rebuilding from childhood emotional neglect
  • Steps to start your healing journey

 

Childhood emotional neglect isn’t necessarily abuse; in fact, it can happen in very loving, well-meaning homes. But anything that disconnects us from our emotions our inner navigation system and a key to living in The Adult Chair is going to keep us from living the happy, fulfilled life we all dream of. I hope this episode encourages you to look inward and connect with the deepest parts of who you are. That is how you will experience the fullness of life and connection with others! 

 

 

“We need our feelings to survive and thrive in our adult life.” - Dr. Jonice Webb

 

“Eventually the child brain just erects a wall so that you don’t have to feel anything, and that wall stays there until you take it down.” - Dr. Jonice Webb

 

“Men have the equal capacity or ability to feel all emotions because they’re human.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“What you have inside is a constellation of how your parents treated your feelings.” - Dr. Jonice Webb

 

“Emotions are the expression of your deepest self.” - Dr. Jonice Webb

 

“Emotions are our built-in navigation system, and they guide us.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

LINKS & RESOURCES

 

Dr. Jonice Webb Website

https://emotionalneglect.com

 

“Running on Empty” (Dr. Jonice Webb book)

https://drjonicewebb.com/the-book/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ 

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/ 

Or find on Amazon or Target.com

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Dec 23, 2021
293: Overcoming Trauma and Limiting Beliefs with Michael Unbroken
47:40

We all have limiting beliefs that hold us back in life. But what if you’ve experienced significant trauma as well? How do you distinguish between a trauma response and limiting or negative thinking? How do you find the power to heal when things have happened that were out of your control?

 

My guest today, Michael Unbroken, has an intense and powerful story of overcoming unspeakable trauma, growing up with abuse, addiction and homelessness. At one point, he wanted to end his own life. But he made a decision to live, and in doing so, discovered that the only path forward started within.

 

In this incredible conversation, Michael shares how he was able to break the cycle of trauma in his life and consciously choose a different path for himself. This is an inspiring and vulnerable conversation that will challenge you to take ownership of your life, treat yourself with grace and kindness and live life fully! 

Listen to discover:

 

  • Michael’s incredible story of healing from trauma and turning his life around
  • The steps for overcoming limiting beliefs
  • How to get past fear and start living your life
  • How to actually change your life (and why you have to get out of the way first)
  • The power of vulnerability 
  • The importance of a mentor

 

Transforming limiting beliefs starts with taking ownership of the way we think about life, no matter what we’ve been through. What happened to us is not our fault, but it does become our job to take responsibility for it and make a choice to create the healthy, whole life we want to live. We all have the power to do this, and I hope this episode inspires you to find everything that’s possible for you.

 

“It’s never going to be one thing that changes your life.” - Michael Unbroken 

 

“What you think becomes what you speak. What you speak becomes your actions, and your actions become your reality.” - Michael Unbroken 

 

“If we’re sitting waiting for someone to rescue us, we’re in the seat of the victim.” - Michelle 

 

“We have to create different. We have to create better. If we want a different life, we have to make different choices.” - Michelle Chalfant 

 

“It will change everything about the fabric of your experience of this life when you’re willing to be real.” - Michael Unbroken 

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Michael Unbroken Website

https://www.thinkunbroken.com/ 

 

Michael Unbroken Podcast

https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/ 

 

Michael Unbroken Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/michaelunbroken/ 

 

Michael Unbroken Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/MichaelUnbroken/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Now Open: Doors Close January 31!)

https://michellechalfant.com/coaching-certification-program/ 

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/ 

Or find on Amazon or Target.com

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Dec 16, 2021
292: Boundary Help at the Holidays with Sharon Martin
49:22

Staying in our Adult Chair and setting boundaries can be especially difficult at the holidays. Pressure to attend events or spend money, uncomfortable conversations, holiday traditions and gatherings of family and friends that might not normally get together can create plenty of scenarios that test our boundaries (not to mention the  “shoulds” and guilt the holidays can bring!).

 

It doesn’t surprise me one bit when my inbox lights up with questions about boundaries this time of year.

 

So, I enlisted the help of today’s guest, psychotherapist and boundary expert Sharon Martin, to help me answer your questions about how to flex your boundary muscles this time of year — and anytime!

 

We talk about how to navigate guilt and defensiveness when it comes to boundaries, helpful boundary statements and all kinds of practical tips and tools for setting boundaries at the holidays.

Listen to discover:

  • What a boundary is
  • Why boundaries can actually lead to better relationships
  • Why we sometimes feel guilty when setting a boundary (and how to work through this)
  • What to do when someone doesn’t respond to your boundary
  • How to lower the defenses of the person you’re setting a boundary with
  • Why boundaries are an important form of self-care

Boundaries are not something you have to master overnight. I didn’t wake up one day suddenly good at setting boundaries either – but when you start slowly and build and build, you CAN learn this…and everybody needs to learn it, because boundaries are part of our self-care!

 

So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by holiday boundaries, pick one or two to start with – a “no” to a party, a political topic you don’t want to discuss or a gift budget. You’ll bring a little extra sanity to your holidays and give yourself great practice for year-round self-care.

 

“One way we can think about [boundaries] is as a dividing line.” - Sharon Martin

 

“You can actually have better relationships when we are able to set boundaries.” - Michelle Chalfant 

 

“We don’t need to wait until the uncomfortableness is completely gone for us to set the boundary.” - Sharon Martin

 

“Boundaries and confrontation are not the same thing.” - Michelle Chalfant 

 

“Boundaries are really based on needs.” - Sharon Martin 

 

“It’s always about staying connected to yourself so that you know when a boundary is necessary.” - Michelle Chalfant 

 

“Don’t extend yourself to others so much that you’ve lost sight of what you need on the inside.” -  Michelle Chalfant

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Sharon Martin Website

http://livewellwithsharonmartin.com/ 

 

“The Better Boundaries Workbook” (Sharon Martin Book)

https://betterboundariesworkbook.com/ 

 

2022 Annual Adult Chair® Membership

2022 Theme: A Year of Conscious Living

​​https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/U6FHGTjV/checkout 

 

Other Adult Chair® Podcasts on Boundaries

https://theadultchair.com/?s=boundaries&pageName=default 

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/ 

Or find on Amazon or Target.com

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/



STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Dec 09, 2021
291: Loneliness at the Holidays with Dr. Dain Heer
52:13

The holidays are a time where it feels like everything is a bit magnified: there is so much joy and brightness in the world but also space for sadness, loneliness and grief to be amplified.

 

It’s a touchy time of year where whatever we’re feeling gets underscored by parties, gatherings and traditions.

 

But the holidays don’t create these feelings. In fact, according to my guest on the podcast today, WE don’t even create most of these feelings. Rather, we pick them up from our parents and the world around us, and the key to overcoming loneliness and sadness is to understand where it all began.

 

In this episode, I’m bringing back one of my favorite people, Dr. Dain Heer, to talk about loneliness, how to identify what is ours and what is not, how to clear what’s not ours, how to get out of victim and so many more important, empowering topics! 

 

Dr. Dain also shares tools and techniques you can use immediately to start clearing negative emotions – one of the reasons I love his work so much! 

Listen to discover:

  • What loneliness is and where it comes from
  • Why 98% of our thoughts and feeling aren’t actually ours – and where they come from
  • How to get out of negative emotions
  • What to do if you’re experiencing loneliness in life
  • The true root of victimhood
  • The “clearing statement” for fast transformation

Dr. Dain’s work with Access Consciousness is all about realizing the power you have within you to change. When you’re able to get rid of what is not yours, it gives you the space and energy to work on what IS yours and create your life instead of falling victim to it. I hope the tools in this episode help you find your inner power, no matter what you’re feeling this holiday season – or any time of the year! 

 

“Your point of view creates your reality. Your reality doesn’t create your point of view.” - Dr. Dain Heer

 

“It’s as simple as redirecting that energy out of your energy field.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“It starts to undo the foundation of limitation.” - Dr. Dain Heer

 

“We don’t have to be limited by the world around us.” - Dr. Dain Heer

 

“When we open the door for possibilities, it makes that available to everybody else on the planet.” - Dr. Dain Heer

 

“People who do victim have learned it.” - Dr. Dain Heer

 

“Victims are actually victimizing others and controlling them with their victimhood.” - Dr. Dain Heer

 

“If we can just sit in someone else’s energy field that’s healthy, we become more like them.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

Dr. Dain Heer Website

https://drdainheer.com/ 

 

Dr. Dain Heer YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/user/drdainheer 

 

Dr. Dain Heer Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/DrDainHeer 

 

Dr. Dain Heer Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/dainheer/ 

 

Who Does This Belong To App

https://www.accessconsciousness.com/en/shop-catalog/apps/who-does-this-belong-to-app/ 

 

The Clearing Statement

https://theclearingstatement.com/ 

 

“Body Whispering” (Dr. Dain Heer Book)

https://www.amazon.com/Body-Whispering-Dr-Heer/dp/1634934873 

 

2022 Adult Chair® Membership

2022 Theme: A Year of Conscious Living

​​https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/U6FHGTjV/checkout 

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/ 

Or find on Amazon or Target.com

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/



STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant 

Dec 02, 2021
290: Holiday Special: Using the Polyvagal Theory to Balance Your Nervous System with Deb Dana
01:02:18

You know the feeling when your nervous system kicks into overdrive. Maybe you freeze in place or your heart starts racing, your body pumping with adrenaline. This automatic response often feels like it overtakes us. But what if you could control and balance your nervous system instead of it controlling you? 

 

In today’s show, I’m interviewing the incredible Deb Dana, one of the leading experts on the nervous system and the Polyvagal Theory. The Polyvagal Theory offers us cutting-edge insight into the third nervous system response that Porges calls the social engagement system, based on the Vagus Nerve. 

 

In this episode, we talk about how we can both understand and balance our nervous system from the different ways we respond to fear or danger (including fight, flight, freeze and a new one you might not be aware of) to how we can change our response to stressors over time. We explore how we can stop moralizing our nervous response, how to listen and pay attention to our nervous system and how others’ nervous systems can help us regulate. It is FASCINATING!

 

Listen to discover:

 

  • What the Polyvagal Theory is and why it’s important for you to know about it
  • Understanding the Polyvagal Theory to learn how to better balance the nervous system 
  • How the Polyvagal Theory could be linked with depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue and other ailments  
  • How we can reshape our nervous system
  • Specific ways to self-regulate when you are stressed, based on YOUR unique nervous system 

 

This blends attachment theory, stress response, self-regulation, co-regulation and SO much more. The big takeaway is that you have a choice! Even though you don’t get to choose how your nervous system is wired, you can eventually shift how you respond to situations and regulate your own system which is so empowering! 

 

“We don’t get to choose our survival response.” - Deb Dana

 

“We want to stretch our nervous system but not stress our nervous system.” - Deb Dana

 

Resources

 

Deb Dana Website

https://https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/

 

The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy by Deb Dana

https://www.amazon.com/Polyvagal-Theory-Therapy-Interpersonal-Neurobiology/dp/0393712370/ref=nodl_ 

 

Adult Chair® Coaches

https://theadultchair.com/coaches/ 

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/ 

Or find on Amazon or Target.com

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 
Nov 25, 2021
289: Conscious Parenting, Kid Triggers and More with Dayna Ciarfalia
41:21

They always say parenting is the hardest job in the world. And while caring for little beings and chauffeuring them all around town can certainly be busy and overwhelming at times, the day-to-day tasks of parenting were not what I found most challenging.

 

Instead, it was what my kids revealed about me that was so hard! The way they knew exactly how to push my buttons and trigger me, the fears and anxieties that came out when they were born and the hopes and dreams I projected on them were the biggest mirror for who I was, even in the tiniest human form. 

 

But as you know, I believe triggers are a gift, so stepping into our Adult Chair as parents and consciously looking at parenting as part of our healing journey can be an amazing next step in our growth!

 

In this episode, I’m talking with parenting coach Dayna Ciarfalia about what conscious parenting is and how we can become more conscious as parents. We talk about what it means and what to do when our kids trigger us, our true role as parents and how we can build healthy, life-long relationships with our kids as we encourage them to become who they’re meant to become.

Listen to discover:

  • What conscious parenting is (and what it’s not)
  • The impact we can have on our children
  • Practical ways to consciously parent
  • How conscious parenting can help your relationship with your kids
  • How our children triggering us reveals our own wounding
  • The importance of taking care of our own needs as a parent

It’s so hard to let go as a parent. We want our kids to be safe, healthy and happy...and we often have our own ideas and values about who we want them to be in the world. But when we shift into a more conscious state, we can see the ways our kids help us grow and our role in guiding them to become the unique beings they are created to be. 

“As conscious parents, we don’t view our children as beings to be controlled or taught or raised, if you will. We see them as separate beings that we are here in relationship with to support them in becoming the person they are supposed to be – whatever that is.” - Dayna Ciarfalia

“How we model being a human in front of them becomes the blueprint for how they are going to be in the world.” - Dayna Ciarfalia

“It’s not you vs. me. It’s us vs. the problem.” - Dayna Ciarfalia

“As humans we like to blame other people for triggering us vs. ‘Wait, is this mine?’” - Michelle Chalfant 

“That overwhelm almost always comes from a lack of me acknowledging my needs.” - Dayna Ciarfalia

“We don’t know who our kids are here to become.” - Michelle Chalfant 

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Dayna Ciarfalia Website

https://daynaciarfalia.com/

 

Dayna Ciarfalia Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/the.conscious.healing.mama 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership (November Theme: I am unique.)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/ 

Or find on Amazon or Target.com

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Nov 18, 2021
288: The Gift of Triggers
32:08

No one likes the feeling of getting triggered. But I fully believe that triggers are a GIFT (yes, I said it!).

 

Getting triggered is different from the pure emotion of anger or hurt at a situation. I’m talking about those quick, intense negative emotions that seem to rise up out of nowhere and might seem bigger than the situation you’re in. 

 

While triggers often feel like they’re about someone else – the person who hurt us or made us mad – triggers are always about us. 

 

Underneath these triggers is a painful belief, typically rooted in childhood wounding, that we’ve tried to shove into our subconscious mind so we don’t have to think about it or face it. The trigger brings this belief to the surface, and that’s why it feels so terrible.

 

But here is the gift: getting the belief out of the subconscious raises our awareness and gives us the opportunity to heal it! We just need to know what to do when we’re triggered.

 

In this episode, I’m helping you understand the psychology behind triggers, giving you three steps to slow your reaction when triggered and sharing a five-step process to work with and heal “shadow beliefs” once they’re revealed.

Listen to discover:

 

  • Why triggers are a gift
  • How triggers form (and why they're not your fault)
  • How to spot shadow beliefs
  • 3 steps to avoid getting reactive and losing yourself in the trigger
  • 5 steps to working with shadow beliefs
  • How this work can help us become more balanced human beings

 

When we work with our shadow beliefs, not only do we become healthier and more balanced versions of ourselves, but we also might find we get triggered less (yes, it’s possible!). It starts with resisting the urge to numb out our triggers and instead diving deep into what they’re trying to tell us – the gift of uncovering a hidden part of who we are.

 

"Triggers are reactions to our own childhood wounding." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"These thoughts that we have become beliefs about who we are." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"Whatever is going on in me is showing up in my reality." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"This trigger is inside of me, and this person is showing me." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"The key is to stay present – stay present and remember the gift." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"This is about making the unknown known." - Michelle Chalfant



LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

All I want for my birthday is for you to help share the podcast! :)

Leave a Podcast Review

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 

 

30-Day Journaling Challenge 

https://theadultchair.com/30days/ 

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/ 

Or find on Amazon or Target.com

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Nov 11, 2021
287: How Journaling Can Transform Your Life
26:20

Doodling in a notebook, writing in a diary...what if I told you that those schoolkid activities were actually really powerful for your brain?

 

When we put pen to paper and let our hand go, we are able to access our subconscious mind in a truly incredible way. Journaling also connects us to our inner child and pulls in the energy of our Adult, bringing clarity to our lives and helping us connect to who we are, what we need, what we feel and what we want.

 

It’s absolutely incredible what can happen when we get a stream of energy flowing through our words!

 

In this episode, I’m sharing with you why journaling is such a powerful tool for transformation and the many benefits it can bring into your life. Journaling is a big part of The Adult Chair® – from the annual 30-Day Journaling Challenge to the self-discovery work in the membership – and today’s show is all about the WHY behind it.

 

I also give you some practical tips for how to overcome blocks and get started with a journaling practice + some free tools if you need extra guidance. 

Listen to discover:

 

  • What journaling is
  • The many benefits of journaling
  • Why journaling can be a powerful tool while doing parts work
  • How to journal and get started with a journaling practice
  • How to protect your privacy while journaling

 

The important thing is not how or when you journal, but making a commitment to journal! There are so many different ways and places to journal, but it’s when journaling becomes a practice that true transformation begins.

Remember, it is self-loving to take 15 or 30 minutes a day to reconnect with and care for yourself. So, get yourself a pretty notebook (if that’s your thing), leave your phone in the other room and find a writing ritual that makes you feel refreshed and loved. I promise that your life will transform! 

“What I love about journaling is that when we put pen to paper, it's as if the doorway to our subconscious mind opens.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Once you get the stream of energy flowing through your words, so many amazing things happen.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“It’s like we’re taking these ideas, these thoughts and these emotions out of the ethers and into our 3D reality, and as they come down through us, they get processed.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“It’s not about, ‘When should I journal?’ The bigger question is, ‘Have you committed yet to journaling?’” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Commitment to the practice of journaling is the first and most important step.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

30-Day Journaling Challenge 

https://theadultchair.com/30days/ 

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/ 

Or find on Amazon or Target.com




MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Nov 04, 2021
286: Feeling Alone on Our Healing Path with Karen Campion
41:10

Starting a journey of healing or following a spiritual path in life can be one of the best things to ever happen to us. It totally transforms how we feel each day and gives us a sense of clarity and purpose in life.

Unfortunately, it can also change our relationships – and not always in the way we want.

I get messages all the time from listeners who have started working with The Adult Chair® or going to therapy who now feel disconnected from people they were once close to.

Sometimes it’s friends and family who don’t understand the change they’re seeing in them. Other times, it’s that the person who has changed can no longer relate to certain friends or even feels like they and their partner are no longer on the same page. These “spiritual growing pains” can be so disorienting and scary!

In today’s show, I’m chatting with my friend and fellow holistic therapist, Karen Campion, about what we can do when we feel alone on our healing path. Karen and I have been on similar healing journeys (I’m so thankful that she’s one person I’ve been on the same page with for years!), and we talk about how we’ve learned to trust our unique paths while also honoring the paths of others.

Listen to discover:

  • Why it’s ok to move on from some relationships
  • How to not fall into the ego as you walk down a path of self-growth
  • How to be in healthy relationships with your loved ones who aren’t on the same path as you
  • What to do if someone criticizes you for your spiritual path
  • What tuning into the body can tell you about the state of your relationships
  • How to share your path with someone you love

Often, it’s our ego that makes us feel disconnected from others because we begin to feel superior in the path we’re on. This episode is an incredible reminder that every relationship serves a purpose in our life and that we can still connect with others who have a different life path than we do. The important thing is that we stick to the path we’re called to, surrender the relationships that are no longer a match and trust that we and those we love are exactly where they’re supposed to be.

“There are people who sometimes aren’t going to match you anymore because you have outgrown them.” - Karen Campion 

“It’s about respecting your partner wherever they’re at.” - Karen Campion 

“Being on a spiritual path or healing path is something that is so beautiful but we want to really make sure and be mindful of when the ego gets engaged.” - Michelle Chalfant 

“Become really aware of what your loved ones mean and what their purpose might be on your life path.” - Michelle Chalfant

“If you want to get other people in their Adult Chair, you get in yours.” - Michelle Chalfant 

“Surrender…is that inner attitude of trust.” - Karen Campion

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Karen Campion Website

http://www.karencampion.com/

 

Episode #117: The Power of Letting Go with Karen Campion

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/117-the-power-of-letting-go-with-karen-campion/ 

 

Episode #17: Finding Hope in the Face of Life’s Greatest Challenges

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/17-finding-hope-in-the-face-of-lifes-greatest-challenges/ 

 

“The Surrender Experiment” by Michael A. Singer

https://www.amazon.com/Surrender-Experiment-Journey-Lifes-Perfection/dp/080414110X 

 

“The Untethered Soul” by Michael A. Singer

https://www.amazon.com/Untethered-Soul-Journey-Beyond-Yourself/dp/1572245379 

 

30-Day Journaling Challenge - Sign Up Now (starts November 1)

https://theadultchair.com/30days/ 

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/ 

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/



STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Oct 28, 2021
285: The Gift of Authentic Communication with Blake Chalfant
36:25

You guys...do I have a special episode for you this week or what.

I was out in Portland visiting my son, Blake, when we had the most beautiful moment of authentic communication between us. With Blake’s permission, I flipped on my microphone, and we’re bringing you the first ever podcast with one of my kids on it! 

Blake is only 21, but I’m blown away by his wisdom and the healthy adult he is becoming. In the story we’re sharing with you today, Blake was actually the one who recognized when his ego got triggered and who initiated the communication between us, and I’d be lying if I said mom didn’t tear up a little over here!

The moment we experienced together led us to a deep discussion about how the ego shows up in our lives, the peace that comes from authentic living, how we can communicate more authentically with the people in our lives, how to receive authentic communication and how essential it is to make sure we’re coming from a place of love as we do this work.

Listen to discover:

  • How authentic communication deepens connection
  • How the ego keeps us stuck in our defenses
  • Why trying to be right all the time kills connection
  • How to create safety in relationships
  • How to respond when someone doesn’t receive our authentic communication well
  • How to begin authentically communicating

When you hear the story of what happened, you will recognize that Blake and I didn't experience any conflict. However, Blake was aware of something that didn’t feel right internally about a conversation we had and leaned into that awareness to create an opportunity for more authentic communication. 

There would have been nothing wrong with letting it go and moving on, but that extra step was a chance to build a deeper connection...and that’s how we create more meaningful relationships! We step up, we get vulnerable and we share authentically with another. As Blake says, the best part is not just stronger relationships, but also that sense of alignment with ourselves and knowing we’re showing up how we want to show up for others...as our authentic selves!

“The ego is the part of us that creates separation.” - Michelle Chalfant

“You can’t be right (all the time) and have a deep connection with other human beings.” - Michelle Chalfant

“When you’re the hero of your story, it doesn’t matter what other people are saying. It matters how you’re showing up for them.” - Blake Chalfant

“Whether we agree with another person who is communicating with us or setting a boundary with us, how we receive that and express back is so key to deepening that relationship and creating safety in that relationship.” - Michelle Chalfant

“We automatically defend as humans unless we have awareness.” - Michelle Chalfant

“It just comes back to everything you do coming from the container of love.” - Blake Chalfant

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Episode #283: Deeper Connections Through Vulnerability

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/283/ 

 

30-Day Journaling Challenge - Sign Up Now (starts November 1)

https://theadultchair.com/30days/ 

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/ 

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart



MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/



STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Oct 21, 2021
284: Enmeshment, Codependency and Boundaries with Dr. Ken Adams
58:18

Do you ever feel like you’re being disloyal to your family for having your own life? Or do you feel like you’re second fiddle to your partner’s parents?

If so, you or your partner might come from an enmeshed family: a system of relating to each other that is based on dependency, guilt, obligation and too much closeness (yes, that can be a thing!). 

In today’s episode, I’m bringing back one of your favorite guests, Dr. Ken Adams, to talk about the important topic of enmeshment – and let me tell you, he is SUCH a wealth of knowledge! 

When I knew we were bringing Dr. Adams back, I asked The Adult Chair® community what you wanted to know about enmeshment and I was flooded with questions! So, I used this time with Dr. Adams to ask him YOUR questions – everything from the difference between codependency and enmeshment to what to do if your spouse is enmeshed with his or her family to how to let go as an enmeshed parent.

I know you guys are so excited to have Dr. Adams back and to get your questions answered, and I am too! 

Listen to discover:

 

  • The line between being caring and enmeshment
  • The difference between codependency and enmeshment
  • What to do if you come from an enmeshed family or your spouse’s family is enmeshed
  • How to manage guilt when stepping out of an enmeshed system
  • What a healthy family looks like
  • How different cultural norms can foster enmeshment
  • Tips for enmeshed parents who want to change their pattern of relating to their children or who are struggling with letting go

 

The key to recognizing enmeshment is to understand that it’s a connection bound by guilt. It goes beyond being caring and even beyond being codependent to the point of obligation, anger and being accused of disloyalty if you don’t follow the family system. 

These feelings of guilt can make it difficult to set boundaries, but if you stay in your Adult, sit with your emotions and hold those boundaries, freedom – and possibly a much healthier family overall – is waiting for you on the other side.

“In those enmeshed systems, dependency is built on obligation and loyalty is driven by guilt.” - Dr. Ken Adams

 

“Autonomy and separateness feel like disloyalty.” - Dr. Ken Adams

 

“Sometimes outsiders are viewed suspiciously, which includes your spouse.” - Dr. Ken Adams

 

“Both partners are responsible for keeping out intrusions”. - Dr. Ken Adams

 

“Sometimes the guilt is a representation that you’re doing the right thing.” - Dr. Ken Adams

 

“You don’t let the guilt stop you from continuing the boundaries in that relationship.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“It’s really building up self-worth around who am I now…who am I really underneath these masks that my parents put on me.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Dr. Ken Adams Website

https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/ 

 

Episode #256: Understanding Enmeshment with Dr. Ken Adams

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/256/ 

 

Episode #276: Raising Teens from The Adult Chair® with Dr. Pam Staples

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/276/ 

 

30-Day Journaling Challenge - Sign Up Now (starts November 1)

https://theadultchair.com/30days/ 

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/ 

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Oct 14, 2021
283: Deeper Connections Through Vulnerability
32:06

As humans, we are all wired for connection and to feel like we belong. No one, even the biggest introvert on the planet, doesn’t want to feel connected with others. 

 

But many of us find there is a gap between the connection we crave and the way we experience our relationships. We might have a loving marriage, a thousand Facebook friends, and a busy social calendar but something still feels empty.

 

That’s because to truly connect at a deep level, we have to get real and vulnerable with each other...and vulnerability is scary! Few of us really “go there” in our relationships, and this leaves us wanting something more.

 

But like anything else, vulnerability is a practice. It’s something we can all work to grow in our lives and start getting the relationships we really want. In this episode, I’m sharing with you the benefits of vulnerability, how to find safe people to practice vulnerability with, and the steps you can take to grow vulnerability and connection in your relationships.

 

Listen to discover:

  • What vulnerability is
  • Why vulnerability is a strength
  • The benefits of vulnerability
  • When to be vulnerable and when not to be vulnerable
  • Scripts for practicing vulnerability in relationships

If vulnerability still feels a bit scary, that’s ok! Practicing vulnerability is all about taking baby steps and increasing your comfort level with sharing with others. And as you begin to lead with vulnerability, you will automatically invite others to be vulnerable with you, building deeper connections and transforming your relationships! 

“When we start sharing on that level, we have the potential and the ability to then connect with others on that level.” - Michelle Chalfant

“The deeper I can go within myself and get in touch with what’s going on inside myself, the deeper relationships I can have outside of self.” - Michelle Chalfant

“As a good friend, it’s my job to mirror for her what’s going on.” - Michelle Chalfant

“Vulnerability fosters intimacy.” - Michelle Chalfant

“When we are vulnerable, there’s compassion for who we are.” - Michelle Chalfant

“Humans are wired for connection and the feeling of belonging. Being vulnerable with another human being creates exactly that.” - Michelle Chalfant

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

30-Day Journaling Challenge - Sign Up Now (starts in November)

https://theadultchair.com/30days/ 

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/ 

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Oct 07, 2021
282: How to Change Negative Programs and Patterns with Adele Spraggon
01:05:32

When you think about wanting to change or transform, what do you typically think of changing? Most of us think of a behavior or action – something we are doing. If we’ve been doing our work for a while, we might think of a thought pattern or belief. 

 

But what if everything we do and think is just the tip of the iceberg? What if our actions, behaviors and beliefs are actually the manifestation of deep unconscious patterns in our brains, and if true transformation happens by transforming these patterns?

 

In this episode, I talk with the incredible Adele Spraggon, a behavioral change and brain expert, about what drives human behavior, why traditional methods of change fail and how we can identify and transform the unconscious patterns that drive our behavior without us even knowing it. 

 

We’re covering so many topics from relationships to money (because the brain affects them all!), and you will learn Adele’s four-step process for working with negative patterns, even those in your subconscious mind.

 

I LOVED my conversation with Adele – a true soul sister who speaks The Adult Chair® language – and I know you will too.

 

Listen to discover:

  • Why simply trying to change behavior doesn’t work
  • The real reason why you do what you do
  • The problem with goal setting
  • How to actually transform actions, behaviors and beliefs
  • Steps to changing unconscious brain patterns
  • Surrender vs. acceptance
  • How this can change your relationship with money, your partner, your family, etc.

 

Too often we try to change only the external or we try to simply work against the negative patterns in our brain, and we wonder why our lives don’t change. As you will learn in this episode, the key is that we have to get rid of the old pattern before we can replace it with a new one...and this episode will show you how! 

 

“How we are taught to change behaviors is not effective. What we need to do is deal with our brain’s patterning instead of the actions that we're taking, the beliefs that we’re holding or the behaviors we’re adopting.” - Adele Spraggon

“Between us and our situations, there lives an interpreter, and that interpreter is our brain.” - Adele Spraggon

 

“We create this roadmap from [age] 0 to 6 that we’re living in as adults.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Mindset originates in the unconscious patterning of the brain.” - Adele Spraggon

 

“I love triggers because so much is revealed in a trigger.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“People don’t procrastinate. We avoid.” - Adele Spraggon

 

“Everything about who a person is today is the result of every pattern that has brought them here.” - Adele Spraggon

 

“The biggest gift you can give another person is to allow that person to show up brand new every time you see them.” - Adele Spraggon

 

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Adele Spraggon Website

https://www.adelespraggon.com/ 

 

“Shift: 4 Steps to Personal Empowerment” (Adele Spraggon Book)

https://shift4steps.com/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership (October Theme: “I use my voice.”)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/ 

Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart



MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Sep 30, 2021
281: How to Overcome Not Feeling Good Enough or Less Than
26:47

Comparison is one of the ego’s favorite traps. When we fall into this trap, we make up all kinds of stories about others and turn a judgmental eye towards ourselves. With this comes feelings of inferiority, feeling less than and low self-worth. It’s no fun at all!

 

Inferiority feels so awful that most of us just want to run from it, silence it or numb it out...but this never works! Shoving our negative beliefs about ourselves into the subconscious only gives them more power. Instead, we have to look at them, work with them and transform them!

 

In this episode, which was inspired by questions from our listeners, I’m giving you five tools to not just quiet feelings of inferiority but to actually transform from feeling less than to feeling enough! 

 

Listen to discover:

 

  • Why we compare ourselves to others
  • Five tools to build self-worth and stop feeling inferior
  • How to radically accept yourself 
  • Parts work and affirmations to transform comparison

 

The process in this episode is so simple and easy to apply – it just takes intention and some energy from you to make this transformation in your life reality. And this is what we do from our Adult Chair...we bring consciousness into the traps of the ego and change our lives!

Remember: I think you’re so amazing, and I hope the tools in this episode help you love yourself and live from the place of worthiness that you deserve! 

 

“The ego can really chime in and compare us to others and make us feel less than.” - Michelle Chalfant

“Numbing [feelings of inferiority] out is a lovely temporary fix, but it does not work.”  - Michelle Chalfant

“You’ve become who you are today because of all your life experiences, because of the choices you’ve made.”  - Michelle Chalfant

“When you hear yourself say, ‘Yeah, but,’ I want you to know your ego’s engaged.”  - Michelle Chalfant

“Nothing magical can get you out of this comparison. The only thing that can get you out of this is you.”  - Michelle Chalfant

“Having a really healthy relationship with your inner parts — that’s a game changer.”  - Michelle Chalfant



LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Adult Chair® Coaches

https://theadultchair.com/coaches/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/ 

Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart



MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/



STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Sep 23, 2021
280: How to Get Our Children in Their Adult Chair
31:27

The Adult Chair® model is based on different stages of life and development, with our Adult Chair coming online around age 25 when the brain fully develops.

 

So, what does that mean for raising healthy kids? Is it possible as a parent to teach your kids the Adult Chair while they’re still literally in their Child or Adolescent phase of life?

 

YES!!!

 

No matter what age your child is, you can start modeling what it looks like to be a healthy adult. You can begin to be that touchstone of emotional health that they look to through all their different life experiences.

 

In this episode, I break down what it looks like to be a healthy adult (how you want to be showing up as a parent) and six keys for modeling The Adult Chair for your children. This is a very practical episode that makes this process simple while leaving room for lots of grace when you and your children inevitably act like the humans you are!

 

Listen to discover:

 

  • Eight qualities for living in our Adult Chair 
  • How we can invite others to join us in our Adult Chair
  • Six ways to model The Adult Chair for your children
  • Why lots of grace is a parenting essential 

 

Remember, The Adult Chair is a model – a touchstone we strive for – and we’re not going to live in it in every moment. Instead, it shows us when we’re off balance and gives us something to reach for. That’s true for you in your parenting journey and true for your kids in their growing up journey. 

But by doing your work and showing them what a healthy adult looks like, you’re already putting them light years ahead on the path to becoming their healthiest, most authentic selves. And what an amazing gift that is to give! 

 

“97% of the time we’re incorrect with our stories.” - Michelle Chalfant

“Healthy adults respond to people and don’t blow up and react when we’re triggered.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“We seek to know what we’re feeling and then we get curious about what’s going on inside.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Whether you have a toddler or you have an adult child, start today. Because your kids are always going to be looking at you, and there’s always a chance to respect you and grow and learn from you.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“We reach for vices when we don’t know what to do with our internal pain.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“They become what they witness in the household.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Episode #177: Empowered Parenting with Meghan Crough

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/177 

 

Episode #276: Raising Teens from The Adult Chair® with Dr. Pam Staples

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/276/

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

September Theme: “I’m a self-care badass!”

https://theadultchair.com/membership/ 

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/ 

Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/




STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Sep 16, 2021
279: Narcissistic Abuse Explained with Caroline Strawson
01:12:10

Sometimes, it takes losing everything you know to start over and begin the journey of healing.

 

Caroline Strawson is an internationally recognized trauma-informed therapist and coach who helps her clients recover from narcissistic abuse and complex PTSD and create thriving lives. Her journey began with her own story of loss when, in a very short period of time, her mother passed away, her narcissistic husband left her and their two young children and she discovered he had gotten them into $100,000 of debt, leading to the loss of her home and the life she had built.

 

Facing PTSD, anxiety, depression, self-harm, guilt and shame, Caroline turned inward and took a close look at herself, her life and her relationships – and has since become a leader in trauma-informed recovery and healing from abuse.

 

In this conversation, Caroline shares her story of overcoming narcissistic abuse, how she finally recognized the abuse and how she began the journey of healing. She offers deep insights into how childhood wounding forms, how we develop “protector parts” and how those parts can lead to struggles like codependency and narcissism. She is a wealth of knowledge on trauma, how we get stuck in life and how to move forward.

 

Listen to discover:

 

  • The source of childhood wounding and trauma
  • How our nervous system is designed to protect us 
  • Why codependents and narcissists are magnets for each other (and why it's easier for the codependent to change)
  • How we can feel compassion for wounded people without accepting abuse
  • Why people stay in abusive relationships and how to help a friend in an abusive relationship
  • The difference between PTSD and complex PTSD
  • How to begin building self-worth even if you're still in an abusive relationship 

 

Whether you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist or not, you will get SO much out of this episode and gain a greater understanding of why you do what you do, what is going on in your brain in relation to trauma and how to heal your wounding so you can form healthier relationships with self and others.

 

"Initially I was waiting for that epiphany of him changing to then be ok for me to move forward. And of course, that isn't the case. Because we can't change anybody."  - Caroline Strawson 

 

"Trauma isn't a person. It's not an event. It's what I feel and what I'm saying to myself about those events." - Caroline Strawson 

 

"Our system all of the time is working to keep us safe, keep us alive, protect us and move us away from the biggest perceived pain.” - Caroline Strawson

 

"No narcissist is born. They are created from their childhood." - Caroline Strawson  

 

"The codependent is giving, giving, giving trying to soothe their self-worthiness wounds. The narcissist is like, 'Give it to me. I'll take, take, take,’ to soothe their self-worthiness wounds." - Caroline Strawson 

 

"I think of narcissism on a scale." - Michelle Chalfant 

 

"When we're in these relationships, our reality is so distorted. To build self-worth is to then start seeing reality much clearer." - Michelle Chalfant 

 

"Grounding and getting all five senses online also helps us with our reality. We stop doubting ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant 

 

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

Caroline Strawson Website

https://www.carolinestrawson.com/ 

 

Caroline Strawson Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/carolinestrawson/ 

 

Caroline Strawson Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ 

 

“Divorce Became My Superpower” (Caroline Strawson Book)

https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Became-Superpower-Caroline-Strawson/dp/1726255549 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

September Theme: “I’m a self-care badass!”

https://theadultchair.com/membership/ 

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/ 

Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/




STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Sep 09, 2021
278: An Uncivilized Man with Traver Boehm
56:46

“Be a man.” It’s a loaded phrase that our culture uses to tell men to be tough, not show their feelings and just keep pressing on.

 

But is this true masculinity? Is there a better way to be a man?

 

My guest today, Traver Boehm, is on a mission to redefine masculinity, bringing together what he calls “primal savagery” and a connection to the heart that is spiritual, emotional and whole. He believes this is what true masculinity looks like, before culture told men who to be, and he spends his life teaching men how to unapologetically become their most authentic self.

 

And as a woman, let me tell you: this is the kind of masculine energy that the world is looking for!

 

In this conversation, Traver tells his story of being one of the guys who looked like he “had it all” until his life unraveled and he forced himself to look inward at the ways he was numbing his pain. From there, he developed his “uncivilized man” ethos that calls men back to their authentic selves and helps them succeed in all areas of life – from relationships to work to mental health – from a heart-centered place.

 

Listen to discover:

  • What true, healthy masculinity looks like
  • How and why the culture has conditioned men not to feel
  • Why it’s so important – and manly – for men to do their work and heal themselves
  • What to do when your partner doesn’t want to engage emotionally and spiritually
  • How to get the things you want in life without killing your soul in the process

Whether you’re a man looking to be the healthiest version of yourself or a woman looking for resources for the men in her life, I know you will be inspired by Traver’s beautiful example of what masculinity was designed to be and how healthy men can change the world.

“Primal savagery and a deep connection to your heart: that to me is ‘uncivilized’” - Traver Boehm

“The part that’s been missing has been going into the heart.” - Michelle Chalfant

“Culturally, we have asked men to not feel.” - Traver Boehm

“The old paradigm said, ‘Men, you are responsible for everything external and nothing internal.’” - Traver Boehm

“We’ve numbed ourselves to the point of getting to ignore what is true, which is we are hurting.” - Traver Boehm

“We’ve got to connect with ourselves – and we do that through feeling our emotions – before we can ever connect with anyone else.” - Michelle Chalfant

LINKS & RESOURCES

 

Traver Boehm Website

https://www.manuncivilized.com/

 

“Man UNcivilized” Book

https://www.manuncivilized.com/thebook

 

Traver Boehm Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm/

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

September Theme: “I’m a self-care badass!”

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

 

 

STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Sep 02, 2021
277: Healing Your Body through Breathwork with Niraj Naik
01:01:34

When Niraj Naik started his job as a pharmacist, he immediately knew it was not for him. But family and cultural expectations led him to believe that it was the path he had to take in life...until it all fell apart seven years later.

 

Career stress and disillusionment led Niraj to develop an autoimmune condition, and nothing in his medicine cabinet helped. After trying all types of traditional medicine, he went “renegade” and began studying yoga, Ayurveda and breathwork, completely healing his condition through these natural methods.

 

His illness became the “gift of desperation” in his life that led him to his calling: teaching the world about energy, breath and how to bring the body into balance through SOMA Breath®, his online school teaching breathing techniques to people around the world.

 

In this episode, Niraj shares his story of healing through ancient wisdom and the science behind the power of the breath. He gives several breathing techniques for us to try and explains how these impact our oxygen levels, energy levels and overall physiology for optimum wellness.

 

Listen to discover:

  • How Niraj turned his lowest moment into a gift of healing
  • Using music and breath to reprogram the subconscious mind
  • How to listen to your body’s “indicator light” that something is off
  • Questions to ask yourself to check in with your wellness
  • The power of breathing for your physiology and health
  • Three sample breathing techniques to try

This is an eye-opening episode about the true power we have to heal and how our bodies were designed for balance. It’s up to us to pay attention to when we are out of balance and to care for ourselves at the most fundamental level – our breath.

“We tend to be conditioned by our parents, the school we go to, the media, just the culture we live in to follow a certain path.” - Niraj Naik

“So many of us just push through, we ignore, we numb out, we just keep going and we’re not tuning into what your soul is trying to tell you.” - Michelle Chalfant

“Diseases affect you where you’re weakest in your body.” - Niraj Naik

“In that moment, as humans, we have a choice: we can look at it and learn from it and ask, ‘What the gift is in this?’” - Michelle Chalfant

“Stress can eat away at us, and we ignore it. We have to start paying attention.” - Michelle Chalfant

“We help people to wake up to who they really are.” - Niraj Naik

Resources

 

SOMA Breath®

https://www.somabreath.com/adultchair

Use code ADULT for 10% off

 

SOMA Breath Colostrum Supplement

https://www.somabreath.com/adultchair-organic

Use code ADULT for 20% off

 

Episode #73: The Healing Power Of Breath With Michelle D’Avella

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/73-the-healing-power-of-breath-with-michelle-davella/

 

Episode #254: Change Your Life With Breath With Nevsah Karamehmet

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/254/

 

Adult Chair® Coaches

https://theadultchair.com/coaches/

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Aug 26, 2021
276: Raising Teens from The Adult Chair® with Dr. Pam Staples
01:04:43

I think it’s universally agreed upon: raising teenagers is hard! 

 

A natural part of growing up is becoming an individual, which comes with challenging limits, venturing away from the family structure and challenging parents in the process! 

 

Not only do our teens challenge us by pushing back on our boundaries, but the process of letting go of our kids also challenges our egos and attachments and pushes us to do our own work. I get so many questions about parenting teenagers in a healthy way, and I’m thrilled to bring the wisdom of today’s guest, Dr. Pam Staples, to you.

 

Dr. Staples has worked with teenagers for 37 years, and she is so grounded and knowledgeable on how to not just get through the tough teenage years but also help your teen develop into the adult they’re called to be.

 

We talk about how to let go and let our children become more independent, setting healthy boundaries while maintaining a safe space for our kids to mess up, building trust, how to have tough conversations and so much more.

 

Listen to discover:

 

  • What’s going in teenagers’ brains and bodies during adolescence
  • Why teenagers need their friends to create a bridge to their adult life
  • Why you should celebrate when your kids push the limits
  • Healthy boundaries parents should have with their teenagers (and when to discipline)
  • The importance of mutual trust in parent/teen relationships 
  • Empty nesting and how to grieve in a healthy way 
  • Practical steps for building positive relationships with your teenagers

 

As parents, our job is to be the guardrails for our kids as they find who they are and their unique purpose and destiny. Too often we focus on outcomes, performance and our dreams for our kids, when in reality, they need to learn to find their own inner voice and intuition and be who THEY are created to be (which might be very different from who we are).

As kids grow from children to teenagers, we begin to “widen the lanes” on the road, giving them more space and freedom while still being that safe touchstone to come back to. 

When we set healthy limits for our kids rooted in mutual respect, we invite them to turn to us when they need guidance and become partners in their personal development, while growing as people ourselves. 

This doesn’t necessarily make it easier when you find out your teen has been drinking or when they want nothing to do with you, but parenting from our Adult Chair helps us lead with love, curiosity and acceptance...which is exactly what our kids need to grow into the amazing beings they’re becoming.

 

“Once they hit adolescence, they start turning away from the family and more towards their peer group.” - Dr. Pam Staples

 

“We want them to have that God-given intuition turn on and stay on.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“In order for them to differentiate and individuate, they need to push off of something, and it’s going to be the family.” - Dr. Pam Staples

 

“It’s important to create flexible boundaries where you allow for that teaching, mentoring and guiding aspect of parenting.” - Dr. Pam Staples

“It’s letting go of these kids so they can become whoever it is that they’re here to become...I didn’t say, ‘so our kids can become who WE think they should become.” - Michelle Chalfant

“We have to get out of the way with our children. They have their own destiny. They have their own life path. They have, in my opinion, their own soul that has a purpose and mission to be here. And we’ve got to get the hell out of the way.” - Michelle Chalfant

“As a parent, you can’t impose your hopes, your wishes and your dreams for your children onto them. You have to let them cook up their own.”  - Dr. Pam Staples

“When kids make choices to please their parents, it takes them longer to find themselves.” - Dr. Pam Staples

“Let your kids find their own potential.” - Dr. Pam Staples

 

 

Resources

 

Dr. Pam Staples

https://www.myrelationallife.com/ 

 

 

Episode #35: Parenting In The 21st Century – Growing Healthy Teens With Guest Dr. James Wellborn

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/35

 

 

Episode #79: Raising Teens From Your Adult Chair With James Wellborn

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/79

 

 

Episode #123 : Helping your Kids Cope with Anxiety with Sharon Selby

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/123

 

 

Episode #134: Repairing Relationships with our Kids (or Anyone)

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/134

 

 

Episode #225: Raising Kids from The Adult Chair

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/225

 

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/




More Adult Chair 

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Aug 19, 2021
275: Summer Series: Holistic Healing with Dr. Nicole LePera
57:35

While our go-to image of mental health might be a couch in a therapist’s office, the world is slowly changing (and I’m SO glad it is!). Don’t get me wrong...I’m not anti-therapy (I’m a therapist myself), but I think it’s only part of the equation. I believe we need more.

 

I believe true healing must be holistic, looking at our experiences from every angle and using methods that heal body, mind and spirit.

 

Dr. Nicole LePera is a kindred spirit when it comes to holistic healing, the creator behind one of my favorite Instagram accounts @the.holistic.psychologist and a self-healing guru that I am thrilled to finally bring on the show! Drawing from psychology, spirituality, the mind/body connection and more, Dr. LePera believes mental wellness is for everyone and we all have the power to heal ourselves with the right tools (can I get an amen?).

 

In this episode, Dr. LePera shares her own story of transformation, her philosophy of self-healing and tools you can use to regulate your nervous system, figure out who you are and what you need and change limiting patterns in your life by turning in and tuning in.

 

Listen to discover:

  • The power of consciousness and being in the present moment
  • The nervous system’s role in healing
  • The importance of breathwork
  • The power of journaling to create consciousness and set intentions
  • How to update and rewire programming
  • Interdependence and how to be healthy in relationships

Dr. LePera believes healing begins by going inside and connecting to self, and I couldn’t agree more (it’s ALL about awareness)! If you’re on a journey of transformation, I hope this episode encourages you to look at your healing through a holistic lens and reminds you that you have the power (and tools) you need right where you are.

"We need to understand the whole being in an integrative way, and I believe we need to expand the tools we're practicing outside of therapy as well." - Nicole LePera

"You can be awake but still not be fully in the body and conscious about what you're doing." - Michelle Chalfant

"There isn't one universal way to heal." - Nicole LePera

"My goal is to empower within so we can cope with the ever-changing without." - Nicole LePera

 

"With conscious effort, every single day, a little bit of something...we do find that people can change. We REALLY can change." - Michelle Chalfant

Resources

 

Dr. Nicole LePera Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/the.holistic.psychologist/

 

Dr. Nicole LePera Website

https://yourholisticpsychologist.com/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop - Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/charleston/

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

 

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

 

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Aug 12, 2021
274: Summer Series: Healing the Brain after Narcissistic Abuse with Dr. Rhonda Freeman
01:01:26

We’ve talked a lot about narcissistic abuse and the emotional effects of it on this podcast, but we haven’t dug into how this experience affects the brain and how neuroscience and healing from narcissistic abuse go hand in hand…until today! In this episode, we’re diving deep into this very important topic with Dr. Rhonda Freeman, who is an expert on the brain, neuroplasticity and trauma and who brings a message of hope to anyone wondering how to heal.

 

Dr. Freeman is a neuropsychologist who works with patients with neurological conditions and brain trauma, and after her own experience in an abusive relationship with a narcissist, she began using her knowledge of the brain to help survivors of abuse and trauma heal. This is an absolutely fascinating episode that gives an inside look into what is actually going on in the brain during and after an abusive relationship, how the healing process works and the hopeful science that shows why anyone can change their brain after trauma.

 

Listen to discover:

 

  • How a romantic relationship with an unhealthy person changes the brain
  • The effects of narcissism on children
  • Why anyone can heal and how the healing process works
  • The prefrontal cortex and trauma
  • How to get back into a balanced brain state
  • The importance of body work in changing the brain

 

One of the most interesting things Dr. Freeman talks about is how abusive situations activate parts of the brain that wouldn’t be activated otherwise...for example, the bonding system and threat system being triggered at the same time. When we can see what’s going on at a brain chemistry level, it helps us understand why these situations are truly so unique and damaging...and why none of it is your fault!

But the hopeful side is that the brain is constantly changing and being shaped by new experiences, so with the right tools, you can heal and transform your brain and get back to a hothealthy, balanced state...and this episode will show you how!

 

“In general, experiences change our brains.” - Dr. Rhonda Freeman

 

“The brain will do whatever it takes to protect you.” - Dr. Rhonda Freeman

 

“We’re bonded...and even though we’re in threat, we can’t let go.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“You have to have others to heal.” - Dr. Rhonda Freeman

 

“Pay attention to your intuition. If it feels off, don’t sweep it under the carpet.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Bonds don’t necessarily mean love.” - Dr. Rhonda Freeman

 

 

LINKS & RESOURCES

 

Dr. Rhonda Freeman Website

https://neuroinstincts.com/

 

Dr. Rhonda Freeman Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/neuroinstincts/

 

BrainHQ (Brain Training)

https://www.brainhq.com/

 

Diner Dash (Video Game with Cognitive Benefits)

https://www.crazygames.com/game/diner-dash

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop - Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/charleston/

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

August Theme: I live in peace.

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

 

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

 

 

STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Aug 05, 2021
273: Summer Series: Unlearning Codependency with Darlene Lancer
54:47

As you know, codependency is one of my “things.” Fortunately, it’s less of a thing these days, but I understand firsthand what it’s like to spend years so focused on others that we lose our sense of self. That’s part of why we talk about this so much on the podcast — so many people suffer for years not knowing about codependency, and I’m passionate about helping you get free...quickly and simply!

 

My guest today, Darlene Lancer, is a licensed marriage and family therapist, author and expert on codependency and relationships. She has worked with couples and individuals for 30 years, and she shares SO much valuable information in today’s show about what codependency looks like, how to begin recovery, the connection between shame and codependency and practical steps to becoming a healthy, whole you.

 

Listen to discover:

  • The three stages to codependency recovery
  • The shame and codependency connection
  • Shame attacks and how to get out of them
  • The importance of mindfulness in recovery
  • How to start feeling your anger as a codependent
  • The connection between codependency and attachment styles
  • 10 ways to love yourself

 

Darlene closes the show with her 10 tips for loving yourself, and let me tell you, they are so beautiful! I remember when I was beginning my healing journey and being told I needed to learn self-love but having no idea where to begin...and these tips are exactly where to start! I hope this is an enlightening and empowering episode for anyone ready to unlearn codependency and learn to love themselves.

 

 

"We become alienated from who we really are because of faulty parenting, and we keep trying to fill up that emptiness or feel more alive by trying to connect to something outside ourselves." - Darlene Lancer

 

"Self-esteem in action is being self-empowered." - Darlene Lancer

 

"A parent's most important job is to reflect their child." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"Codependency is based on faulty beliefs." - Darlene Lancer

 

"The unconscious doesn't distinguish between messages it hears from the outside and messages you tell yourself." - Darlene Lancer

 

"When we realize what's going on, it's like Act 2. And it's a very exciting time." - Michelle Chalfant

 

 

 

LINKS & RESOURCES

 

Darlene Lancer Website

https://www.whatiscodependency.com/

 

Episode #249: The Power of Self-Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/249/

 

Episode #253: Codependency and Anger with Michelle Farris

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/253/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

Doors open August 1

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

 

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

 

 

STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

 

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Jul 29, 2021
272: Summer Series: When Your Beloved Is More Connected with Their Mother Than You: Enmeshment with Dr. Ken Adams
51:07

Everyone wants a caring, loving family, right? But is it possible for close to become too close?

“Enmeshment” is a term that’s been gaining more traction recently, and it describes family systems that are intertwined in unhealthy ways. These families appear very loving from the outside, but that love is often based on guilt and obligation...and usually the family doesn’t even know this about themselves!

My brilliant guest today, Dr. Ken Adams, is pulling back the veil on enmeshment and helping us understand what it is and when and how it forms. One of the leading researchers and teachers on this topic, Dr. Adams helps us understand when closeness crosses a line, how to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy family structures and how to break free and develop secure attachments to your partner, friends or other relationships you’ve created.

 

Listen to discover:

  • What enmeshment means
  • How it forms in childhood
  • The effects enmeshment has on a spouse or partner
  • How to change the family system
  • Why getting free is something you have to do for yourself

Often, enmeshment is rooted in a lonely parent who substitutes their child for their partner. This leads to adult children who feel a sense of obligation to the parent’s well-being, even at the expense of their own needs or the life they’ve created.

 

The good news is that this doesn't have to be an either/or scenario. It’s possible to love your family without feeling tangled up with them, and you CAN redefine the relationship and become free to be who you’re meant to be — including a great son or daughter.

 

“The love contract is defined by obligatory guilt and loyalty, not about freedom to love.” - Dr. Ken Adams

 

“The empathetic, sensitive soul in the family gets glommed onto by the lonely parent.” - Dr. Ken Adams

 

“Enmeshment has a direct impact on romantic availability.” - Dr. Ken Adams

 

“Emancipation is not a negotiation.” - Dr. Ken Adams

 

“The idea of cracking [the false self] open and becoming the true self is terrifying because we don’t know who we are without that mask.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“It feels like your spouse is having an affair, but it’s with their mother or their father.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

Dr. Ken Adams Website

https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/

 

Dr. Ken Adams YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzFj2abP0cx8tEO1eLyjbDA

 

“When He’s Married to Mom” (Dr. Ken Adams book)

https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/books/when-hes-married-to-mom/

 

“Silently Seduced” (Dr. Ken Adams book)

https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/books/silently-seduced/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop - Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/charleston/

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

 

 

Jul 22, 2021
271: Summer Series: Find Your Adult and Change Your Relationships
53:56

Wow — I was blown away by the response to last week’s episode with my one and only, Graham Chalfant. It seems like so many could relate to our relationship dynamics and the learning and work we’ve done over the years...and so many of you also asked how we started doing the work and making changes in our relationship.

 

In this week’s episode, I’m focusing the conversation back on the self and how we can each choose to show up differently in our relationships from our Adult Chair. We can’t make anyone change, but if we think of relationships as a dance, we can change the way we’re dancing, which gives our partners the opportunity to shift and fall into step with us. This is true for all kinds of relationships, not just romantic ones.

 

Listen to discover:

  • My story of changing the dance in my own marriage
  • How to change the tone of your relationship by doing your own work
  • Finding your self-worth and setting boundaries in relationships
  • How to be more open and relational

 

We all bring our wounds, expectations and “stuff” to a relationship. When we do our work, we not only transform our own lives but we change the tone of our relationships, inviting friends and partners who are a true match for us into a new way of relating to each other. Everything — including strong, connected relationships — starts within!

 

“If you want to change your relationship with anybody, you’ve gotta change the dance.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“We are always attracting in other people based on our unconscious programming.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“You’ve gotta see yourself as a very beautiful, precious diamond, and when you can see yourself like that, boundaries become more natural.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“When you own your stuff, it sets you free.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

Episode #251: How Feeling Your Emotions Can Change Your Relationship with Graham Chalfant

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/251/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop - Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/charleston/

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

 

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

 

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Jul 15, 2021
270: Summer Series: How Feeling Your Emotions Can Change Your Relationship with Graham Chalfant
59:14

Everyone wants connection — we’re hardwired for it as humans! But we can only connect as deeply with others as we’ve connected with ourselves. Strong relationships start by going within, feeling our emotions and being willing to open up and share with our partners.

 

On this week’s podcast, I have a very, very special guest...my husband! We’re talking with you today together and sharing some very personal details about our marriage and how feeling emotions has changed our relationship for the better.

 

Graham comes from a background where emotions weren’t expressed, and I come from an Italian family that was very expressive. For so many years, we both saw the other as not emotional enough or too emotional. Learning to feel, honor and share our emotions has deepened our connection so much and been so transformational for us.

 

In this episode, Graham shares what helped him learn to process his emotions, how that’s changed his response to different situations and the changes we’ve both seen in our relationship.

 

Listen to discover:

  • How relationships can help us overcome childhood issues when we approach them with consciousness
  • The importance of raw, open communication in a relationship
  • Somatic processing and the power of feeling emotions in the body
  • Navigating anger and stress in a relationship
  • How feeling emotions deepens intimacy (both emotional and physical)

 

By the way, Graham did all of this work on his own (no bonus points for having a spouse who is a therapist and coach!). Which means YOU can do this too! We’re all born with the ability to feel our emotions, but we have to tune in with intention instead of running away from them. When we do, we’ll find they stop coming out sideways and are instead an invitation into deeper connection with others.

 

“When we engage in a relationship with another human being, our childhood issues are going to rear up. That person is here to help us work through those childhood issues.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Once our youngest child left the house, then it all slowed down and it became more apparent to me that I needed to figure out this ‘feeling’ thing.” - Graham Chalfant

 

“I learned I could just sit with it and in 30 seconds, that heaviness would literally melt away.” - Graham Chalfant

 

“Everybody has the ability to feel emotions. At some point along our life journey, we turn them off and turn them down.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“When you feel an emotion without building a story around it, the emotion goes through you in 90 seconds.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

Episode #42: Inviting Your Relationship into The Adult Chair with Michelle and Graham Chalfant

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/42-inviting-your-relationship-into-the-adult-chair-with-michelle-and-graham-chalfant/

 

Episode #49: Am I a Fraud? Imposter Syndrome & You!

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/49-am-i-a-fraud-imposter-syndrome-you/

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

July Theme: I live in balance.

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

Applications open for those on the waitlist July 12!

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

 

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

 

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Jul 08, 2021
269: Summer Series: The Power of Self-Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff
51:19

Compassion is something we have when we live in our healthiest Adult self, but how easy is it for you to turn around and offer that compassion to yourself? Most of us speak very differently to ourselves than we would to a friend, especially when we make a mistake or are going through a hard time.

 

But self-compassion is an essential part of healing! In fact, studies show that truly effective therapy is improved by increasing our self-compassion so we can live with more love and less anxiety and stress.

My guest today, Dr. Kristin Neff, is one of the world’s leading self-compassion experts and one of the first to conduct scientific research on the benefits of self-compassion and how it can change your life. I LOVED our conversation, which covers everything from what self-compassion is and how to cultivate it to the inner critic, anger, gender roles and the way society often makes it difficult to cultivate self-compassion.

 

Listen to discover:

  • What self compassion really is
  • The three core components of self-compassion
  • Emotional and behavioral self-compassion practices
  • Why self-compassion is not selfish
  • When anger is constructive and loving
  • Why self-compassion is essential for overcoming depression, anxiety and stress

Self-compassion is not selfish. In fact, studies show that when we show ourselves compassion, it actually increases our compassion for others! Life is messy and none of us is perfect, which is why approaching the journey — both ours and others’ — with gentleness and kindness is so important to being healthy!

“The biggest problem with self-esteem is it’s contingent on success.” - Dr. Kristin Neff

 

“The word ‘compassion’ by definition is a connected stance.” - Dr. Kristin Neff

 

“I know from practicing The Adult Chair, where we’re mindful, we practice self-compassion, we’re living in the moment, we’re tuning into the moment...it gets easier.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“What reminds you to practice self-compassion is your suffering.” - Dr. Kristin Neff

 

“I really changed myself through self-compassion.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

Dr. Kristin Neff Website

https://self-compassion.org/

 

“Fierce Self-Compassion”

https://www.amazon.com/Fierce-Self-Compassion-Harness-Kindness-Thrive/dp/006299106X

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

July Theme: I live in balance.

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

Applications open for those on the waitlist July 12!

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

 

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

 

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Jul 01, 2021
268: How to Use The Adult Chair® in Everyday Experiences
29:51

The work we do in The Adult Chair® isn’t just about healing past wounding, working with the inner child, parts work or uncovering unconscious programming (though you know I LOVE all of those things).

 

It’s also about navigating everyday life...what’s happening in the here and now.

 

Because let’s be honest: when life comes at us (and it always does), it can be hard to stay grounded and in peace and balance. It’s often the everyday experiences of flat tires, our kids talking back to us, our boss giving us a last-minute deadline and home projects gone awry where stress, anger, and anxiety build up and we find ourselves seated smack dab in our Adolescent Chair.

 

But that’s exactly what The Adult Chair model is here for. It's a model for how to live as the healthiest version of yourself and a manual for everyday life..including when you're having just “one of those days.”

 

In this episode, I’m walking you through some key Adult Chair principles that are designed to help you navigate everyday stress and stay in balance, even when curveballs get thrown your way. I’m sharing some real examples from my recent home remodel and how I was able to witness the choices I had in each small moment and choose the ones that pulled me out of stress and into peace (even when in a frustrating situation). These tips are simple and practical, and if I can do it, I promise you can too!

 

Listen to discover:

  • How to live with presence
  • Why curiosity can change any situation
  • How to witness thoughts without buying into them
  • The importance of protecting your own nervous system
  • Working with triggers
  • How to stay in your Adult when dealing with work and parenting challenges

These principles don’t mean we don’t feel stress or anger. They just mean we don’t let it overtake us. When life happens, there is always a moment where we have a choice and that choice is to either go into the negativity or to take charge of the situation and do what is needed without added suffering or drama. This is how we honor our Child’s emotions and the Adolescent’s need to protect while operating from a place of consciousness and staying in our peaceful Adult Chair.

“When I live with presence, I’m not going into the past and pulling up ammunition for what’s going on in my present moment, and I’m also not launching into the future to figure out what’s coming.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“We’ve got 70,000 to 90,000 thoughts a day. We don’t need to follow all of them.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“My emotions are not in control of me. They just run through me.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“The world mirrors where we are with…how well we’re living in the healthiest version of ourselves.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Things happen to us and how we see it and perceive it and tell the story can really stir up some serious drama.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Drama is a choice. Pulling out anger is a choice. And it affects only me.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“We have to make choices and changes in our life to get ourselves out of stress.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

 

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

 

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Jun 24, 2021
267: Healing from Betrayal Trauma with Duane Osterlind & Marnie Breecker
55:03

When we form intimate partnerships in life, it goes far beyond love. The relationship becomes our home, our social circle, our sense of safety, and our way of living.

 

That’s why betrayal in intimate relationships, whether infidelity or lying, is so hurtful. It doesn’t just cause emotional pain, but it also shakes our entire sense of safety and reality. It’s a true multi-layered trauma that is not nearly as simple as breaking up and moving on or deciding to forgive and stay together.

 

The betrayed partner often faces feelings of confusion, self-doubt, shame, hurt, distrust and even PTSD. And the betrayer often has an addiction or attachment wound that underlies the betrayal. Both partners need support and healing, whether they choose to repair the relationship or step into a new chapter.

 

My guests today, Duane Osterlind and Marnie Breecker, both specialize in helping people heal after infidelity and betrayal by looking at it through a holistic lens that takes into account all the various forms of trauma that the betrayal has caused. In this episode, they share such important information about why betrayal is such a big deal, the different ways it affects us and how to rebuild safety and trust in a relationship if both partners decide they want to stay together. This is such an insightful show that sheds light on how attachment works, how trust forms, what trauma is and the deeper story behind betrayal.

 

Listen to discover:

  • The six dimensions of betrayal trauma
  • Why betrayal trauma can lead to PTSD
  • How you can rebuild trust after a betrayal
  • The importance of the "second brain"
  • What the betrayed partner needs
  • Where to find support
  • The true source of affairs

At the end of the day, each one of us is seeking connection. When a betrayal occurs, it’s often an unhealthy way of getting the connection we all crave. It is possible to rebuild a sense of safety, trust, secure attachment and connection after betrayal — whether you choose to rebuild that with the same partner or for yourself and in future relationships.

“We’re talking about a lot of complex systems in the brain. We’re talking about attachment. We’re talking about where we are in this life.” - Duane Osterlind

 

“When intimate relationships are betrayed, it impacts the primary feeling of safety that a person has in their life structure.” - Duane Osterlind

 

“This is an existential crisis and an attachment trauma for the partner, and all systems of meaning have been shattered." - Marnie Breecker

 

"Our nature is to trust the person we're living with." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"We were wired to connect, and in order to connect, we have to be able to trust." - Marnie Breecker

 

"We don't know how to communicate in a healthy way with other people." - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

Helping Couples Heal (Duane and Marnie Website)

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/

 

Helping Couples Heal Podcast

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/podcasts/

 

Novus Mindful Life Institute (Duane Website)

https://novusmindfullife.com/

 

Center for Relational Healing (Marnie Website)

http://lacrh.com/

 

APSATS (The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists)

https://www.apsats.org/

 

IITAP (International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals)

https://iitap.com/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop - Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/charleston/

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com\

Jun 17, 2021
266: Making Relationships Work from The Adult Chair®
41:01

We all want healthier, stronger relationships. As beings wired for connection, relationships can bring us the greatest joy and fulfillment in life...or, when they’re full of chaos, drama, miscommunication, and misunderstandings, they can bring lots of pain and confusion.

 

When we’re experiencing relationship drama, our first reaction is to blame our partner or assume we’re with the wrong person. But the truth is that we get to define our relationships by how we show up in them...we’re creating either an Adolescent relationship (think blame, drama and ego) or an Adult relationship (centered on truth, clarity and empathy). We have the power to transform our relationships just by changing the Chair we’re sitting in! 

 

In this episode, I’m bringing back my friend, Tracy, who has shared her journey through her divorce and reentering the dating scene. Now, she’s in a relationship and she is sharing how The Adult Chair® has helped her change that relationship for the better. 

 

She opens up about how both she and her boyfriend brought their individual fears and doubts to the table and how a series of stories and assumptions actually led them to break up for several months. But when she realized this relationship was too important to her to lose, she decided to drop assumptions and blame and instead get vulnerable and speak her truth (be in her Adult Chair!). When she did this, it completely transformed the dynamics of her relationship, and it’s now stronger than ever!

 

Listen to discover:

  • How to use The Adult Chair model in relationships 
  • The moment that turned Tracy’s relationship completely around 
  • How rationalization and blame ruin relationships
  • How to get out of the weeds in relationship communication
  • The power of vulnerability 

Tracy did such an amazing job in the conversation she had with her boyfriend, and I’m so proud of how she models The Adult Chair for him and for everyone listening to the show. It is incredibly uncomfortable to get vulnerable. It’s even more uncomfortable to let go of our ego, own our role in the relationship, stop trying to prove we’re right and instead look for solutions. But when we do this, we invite our partner into a different kind of relationship one centered on common goals, a higher perspective and a model that works! 

 

“There has to be, when we’re in our Adult Chair, taking responsibility, owning your reality, being honest and talking about the elephant in the room.” - Michelle Chalfant 

 

“I practiced speaking fact and truth and being totally vulnerable.” - Tracy 

 

“If you’re having an argument, it gets you nowhere. You have to go with a higher perspective.” - Michelle Chalfant  

 

“I’m blown away by how the work you have done, this Adult Chair model, how it truly works.” - Tracy

 

“It’s no one’s job but our own to share with others what we’re experiencing.” - Michelle Chalfant  

 

“[The Adult Chair] gives us tools for how to show up in life.” - Michelle Chalfant 

 

Resources

 

Episode #179: I’m in a Relationship with a Narcissist

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/179/ 

 

Episode #199: Dating from The Adult Chair®

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/199/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop - Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/charleston/ 

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/ 

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair 

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Jun 10, 2021
265: How We Heal Grief with Sharon Brubaker and Erica Honore
01:02:10

We as a society and individuals don’t do grief very well. For most of us, it’s something we’d rather just not “do” at all. Even knowing what to say to a grieving friend can leave us tongue-tied and lost.

 

But as much as we wish it weren't true, if we’re human, we’re going to experience loss at some point in life. And grief takes many forms. It can come with a change in lifestyle, a relationship or job we love or with the loss of a pet, sending a child off to school or of course, the death or loss of a loved one.

 

We all experience loss, but we don’t all experience grief...and we need to learn how to experience grief, because like any emotion, it heals when we turn toward it and allow ourselves to feel it.

 

In this episode, I’m talking with two beautiful women, sisters Sharon and Erica, grief specialists who guide others through grief based on their own personal journey of walking through grief together. Their journey started when Erica lost not one but two children, and they found how truly lacking they were for support and resources. They decided there must be a better way and began searching for ways to heal that actually worked.

 

In this episode, Sharon and Erica tell their honest, raw and real stories about loss and what it really looks like to heal.

 

Listen to discover: 

  • The true definition of grief and how we all have multiple grieving experiences 
  • The difference between experiencing grief and processing grief
  • Why we should not compare our losses with someone else’s
  • The main reason people get stuck in grief
  • The importance of teaching our children how to grieve 
  • The most important thing you can do for a griever

 

Sharon and Erica are full of such incredible insight and wisdom on what grief actually looks like, how to process it and why the traditional advice just doesn’t work. If you’re looking for advice on how to talk to or support someone who is grieving or how to heal from your own loss, I know this episode is going to help you see grief in a new way and let you know you're not alone. 

 

"Grief is so overwhelming. It's completely debilitating. It affects every area of your life, every single relationship you have. So, who wants that?" – Erica Honore

“The most powerful thing you could do is just sit with a griever.” – Sharon Brubaker 

“One of the most disrespectful things you can say to a griever is ‘I know how you feel.’” Sharon Brubaker 

“Healing from grief is possible. But what happens as a society is that we say you'll never get over that." – Sharon Brubaker

"Some days, I'm going to cry. Some days, I'm going to be mad. Some days, I'm not going to know what I feel. But it's all okay." – Erica Honore

LINKS & RESOURCES: 

Healing Start with the Heart (Sharon and Erica’s Website)

https://www.healingstartswiththeheart.com/ 

Other Podcast Episodes on Grief

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/?sterm=grief 

The Adult Chair® Coaches

https://theadultchair.com/coaches  

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/ 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/ 

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart 

MORE ADULT CHAIR: 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant




***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

 

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

 

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Jun 03, 2021
264: Why Codependency Is Controlling & How To Heal It
30:15

 Codependency is one of those issues that can often come across as selfless to those around us...in fact, it might even earn us praise because we seem so nice and helpful (although at our own expense).

 

But what if I told you that codependency was actually a form of control? This episode today was inspired by a very insightful question from one of our listeners who shared his realization that in his codependency, he was being unintentionally manipulative and controlling. He was showing up as the ever-helpful husband, but he was often doing this from a place of trying to get his own needs met (earning his wife’s love, support, etc.). Of course, this was not conscious, and once he had his awakening, he wanted to know how to move forward and learn how to be genuinely helpful and healthy.

 

Codependency is one of my favorite topics to talk about, and in this episode, I’m giving you five simple steps for what to do next when you find yourself asking, “I’m codependent. Now what?”

 

Listen to discover:

  • How we improve our relationships with others when we’re codependent
  • Why this is different than intentional or abusive control
  • Five steps to break the pattern of codependency
  • Why realizing you’re codependent isn’t a bad thing

If this is you, the first step is to drop the blame and shame. You weren’t trying to be manipulative; you were trying to survive based on what your programming told you to do. Once you realize this, you can step into a whole new chapter in your life...one filled with healthier relationships and a healthier connection to self!

 

“We’re controlling and being manipulative from an unconscious place.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“We betray ourselves and change who we are in order to make sure other people outside of us are happy and peaceful. That’s how it’s manipulative and controlling.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“We need someone who can fact check us.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“That’s why so many codependents are so exhausted, because our energy is going out to others all day, every day.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

Other Podcast Episodes on Codependency

https://theadultchair.com/?s=codependency&pageName=default

 

The Adult Chair® Coaches

https://theadultchair.com/coaches

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

 

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

 

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

May 27, 2021
263: Finding your True Self with Dr. Shefali
38:31

The world around us demands so much of us. If we’re not careful, it can erode our souls, steal our true selves and get us to believe lies about the source of our worth. We have to become conscious and aware to step into our true power and a whole, awakened life.

 

I have been a huge fan of Dr. Shefali for years. I got SO much out of her work on conscious parenting when my kids were young, and it’s no wonder she’s become so well known for her work. But her new book might just be my favorite yet — I truly couldn’t put it down (it’s SO aligned with The Adult Chair®) — and I’m beyond thrilled to have her on the show to discuss how to have a radical (and beautiful) awakening in life.

 

In this conversation, we explore the way our ego and our social conditioning covers up the true self and keeps us from living free lives. This can be especially true for those oriented towards giving, nurturing and connecting. Society takes these gifts and trains us to be outward focused, seeking praise, validation and approval instead of turning inward and claiming who we really are.

 

Dr. Shefali shares her own story of awakening, when she realized that despite her work, she was living in the “matrix” and ignoring her true wants and needs to try to get love from others (what she calls the “beggar” mentality). By going deep into the often difficult work of looking at the ego and the masks we all wear, she was able to strip away the lies and see what was true — and step into the authentic self-love and self-care we all deserve.

 

Listen to discover:

  • Shefali’s own radical awakening
  • The trap women (and men) fall into
  • How to stop suppressing the true self
  • What soul erosion is and how it forms
  • The “triple threat” women face in childhood
  • The role of the ego in our life
  • What keeps us from awakening (especially in our culture)

This is a profound conversation that will take the blinders off and change what you think is normal, while inspiring you to strive for what is truly possible for you — and for all of us.

 

“We, women especially, need to snap out of our chronic civility, helplessness and unworthiness.”  - Dr. Shefali

 

“We cannot waste our life never discovering our true self.” - Dr. Shefali

 

“When we’re told we can only be given worth when we put others before ourselves, now that giving heart leads to an obliteration of ourselves.” - Dr. Shefali

 

“We’re so disconnected from our true self, we don’t know who we are at all.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“The way out is in. We have to go in to heal.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“I want what’s on the other side of that wall, but you got to go through the wall, and the wall is our pain.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“We tell ourselves the greatest stories in the world, and we don’t know we’re telling ourselves stories.” - Dr. Shefali

 

“The greatest narcissism is to pretend you’re not a queen or a king and not own your voice.” - Dr. Shefali

 

Resources

 

“A Radical Awakening” Book and Course

http://aradicalawakening.com/ 

 

Dr. Shefali Website

https://www.drshefali.com/

 

Free Inner Child Resource

https://theadultchair.com/innerchild

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

 

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

 

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

May 20, 2021
262: Transforming using The Adult Chair® with Susan Gorey
52:34

It takes courage to do our work and look at the stuff that scares us, and I believe we all need encouragement and inspiration along the way. And the story I have for you today is SO inspiring!

 

I got to know Susan Gorey as part of The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Program. From the beginning, I could feel Susan’s strength and her fearlessness around speaking up for what she felt was right. But I also witnessed her unconsciously causing others to feel uncomfortable and unsafe around her. Susan called it putting off a feeling of “broken glass” — a sharpness or sense of conflict or that would sometimes come out in communication. During the certification program, she faced this “broken glass” and some of her deepest fears. This caused her to go through an incredible and fast transformation…and I know it’s real, because it’s stuck!

 

In this episode, Susan shares what it was like growing up in an environment filled with criticism and conflict and how that childhood wounding caused her to show up later in life — looking for love through masks, feeling like she had to be bold and strong and not always self-regulating her approach to conflict and relationships.

 

Then she shares how she used The Adult Chair and our work together to drop the cement suitcase she was carrying from childhood, go deep into the shadow beliefs she carried and transform from within so her wounding stopped running the show. This is a raw and real episode that shows what truly is possible on this journey of healing!

 

Listen to discover:

  • Susan’s story of transformation using The Adult Chair model
  • How she broke a generational cycle of criticism and judgment
  • Her journey of dropping the cement suitcase and no longer living from her wounding
  • How we worked together to bring an experiential shift into her life
  • The changes she has seen in herself and her relationships since her transformation

At the end of the episode, I share a very special surprise for Susan that might leave you a little teary-eyed (at least she and I were!).

 

I love Susan’s story so much because it’s a beautiful example of how we don’t have to change who we are when we transform…we actually reveal who we really are. Susan’s strength and tenacity are beautiful qualities — and now she and everyone around her gets to experience them from her Adult self instead of the wounded self.

 

Doing our work isn’t easy, but as Susan shows, when we’re willing to go into the darkness and shadows and walk through them, we can stop living in them and instead find new life on the other side!

“We have to clean our slate...because we can only take people as far as we have gone.” - Michelle Chalfant

“I brought light to my shadowy areas.” - Susan Gorey

 

“We all live from our childhood wounding. We all get covered up. That true self gets covered up by all these masks.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“In The Adult Chair, we become conscious of who we are and our wounding.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“What I realized is my wounding, my childhood, my sadness and all of those masks...I didn’t have to carry it anymore.” - Susan Gorey

 

“We get signs of who we are all the time.”  - Michelle Chalfant

 

“When we look at our stuff that scares us the most, we come out as transformed people.”  - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

Susan Gorey Website

https://forwardtogethercoaching.com/

 

The Adult Chair® Membership (May Theme: “I Own.”)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Program

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Program

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

 

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

 

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

May 13, 2021
261: How to Receive a Boundary from Your Adult Chair
21:54

We talk a lot about how to set boundaries in The Adult Chair®, but sometimes we forget that we are human and sometimes we cross others’ boundaries. The other side of mastering boundaries is learning how to humbly and gracefully receive a boundary when the tables are turned and we’re the ones being asked to shift our behavior or approach.

 

It’s very easy to perceive boundaries as criticism and go on the defensive, but receiving a boundary is an opportunity to understand someone better and deepen our relationships. When we show up with presence, pay attention to our triggers and respond with grace, we grow as a person and show up in a more intentional and loving way with the people around us.

 

In this episode, we’re looking at the other side of boundaries, and I’m walking you through simple steps for how to receive a boundary well and what not to do when approached with a boundary (plus, how to recover the conversation if you do find yourself getting defensive...it happens to all of us!).

 

Listen to discover:

  • Practical steps for receiving a boundary with grace
  • Tips for recentering when triggered
  • How to respond kindly and respectfully
  • What not to do when someone sets a boundary with you
  • How to spot (and get out of) an Adolescent reaction

If someone comes to you with a boundary, try to think of it as them sharing with you instead of drawing a line in the sand or putting up a wall. Sharing comes from a place of vulnerability and wanting connection, and it’s an honor when someone feels safe enough to share with us...even if it feels a little hard to hear sometimes.

 

It takes practice to receive a boundary with grace, but when you own your stuff, you will find you have healthier relationships all around.

“Give them that space to share whatever it is they need to share.” - Michelle Chalfant

“Get in your Adult and remind yourself, ‘It’s not about me.’” - Michelle Chalfant

“You want to make sure the person that’s sharing their boundary with you feels seen and heard.”  - Michelle Chalfant

Resources

 

The Adult Chair® Membership (May Theme: “I Own.”)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

 

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

 

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

May 06, 2021
260: Childhood Emotional Neglect with Dr. Jonice Webb
45:08

Do you find yourself feeling unfulfilled and empty, despite seemingly having everything you need to be happy? Do you crave closer relationships but feel like you can’t connect at the deep level you want?

 

These feelings can often be subtle signs of childhood emotional neglect, which is when our parents or caregivers didn’t tend to or validate our emotions as children. This sets us up for an adult life where we don’t know how to feel our own emotions — which is essential to experiencing joy, passion and connection!

 

In this show, I’m chatting with Dr. Jonice Webb, a psychologist and author and a highly requested guest in The Adult Chair® community, about how to spot childhood emotional neglect and how to begin the process of accessing your emotions as an adult. This show is filled with incredible insights into an issue that unknowingly affects so many of us and how to heal from it.

 

Listen to discover:

  • What childhood emotional neglect is
  • Why invalidating our feelings leads to shame
  • How childhood emotional neglect affects adult relationships
  • What emotional intimacy is
  • Rebuilding from childhood emotional neglect
  • Steps to start your healing journey

Childhood emotional neglect isn’t necessarily abuse; in fact, it can happen in very loving, well meaning homes. But anything that disconnects us from our emotions — our inner navigation system and a key to living in The Adult Chair — is going to keep us from living the happy, fulfilled life we all dream of. I hope this episode encourages you to look inward and connect with the deepest parts of who you are. That is how you will experience the fullness of life and connection with others!

 

“We need our feelings to survive and thrive in our adult life.” - Dr. Jonice Webb

 

“Eventually the child brain just erects a wall so that you don’t have to feel anything, and that wall stays there until you take it down.” - Dr. Jonice Webb

 

“Men have the equal capacity or ability to feel all emotions because they’re human.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“What you have inside is a constellation of how your parents treated your feelings.” - Dr. Jonice Webb

 

“Emotions are the expression of your deepest self.” - Dr. Jonice Webb

 

“Emotions are our built-in navigation system, and they guide us.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

Dr. Jonice Webb Website

https://emotionalneglect.com

 

“Running on Empty” (Dr. Jonice Webb book)

https://drjonicewebb.com/the-book/

 

Adult Chair® Coaches

https://theadultchair.com/coaches/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Inner Child Resource

https://theadultchair.com/innerchild

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

 

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

 

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Apr 29, 2021
259: Your Healthy Adult in the Enneagram with Ramona Reid
53:54

I know you guys love all things Enneagram (and I do too!), so I’m thrilled to bring back our resident Enneagram expert and dear friend of mine, Ramona Reid. Ramona, who is also an Adult Chair® Certified Coach, has always done a beautiful job weaving together The Adult Chair® with the Enneagram, helping us understand how our inner child and childhood wounding shapes our personality type and how our Adolescent fear manifests depending on our Enneagram type.

 

But the point of the Enneagram is not to put you in a box of personality...it’s to help you see the ways you’re already stuck so you can transform and become a more whole, authentic self! Each type also has the healthiest, highest version of their type (aka The Adult Chair) where the beautiful gifts and virtues of each type bring healing to the world...for example, Type 1’s integrity, Type 2’s love, Type 8’s power and Type 9’s peace.

 

So, in this episode, we’re focusing on what healthy looks like for each Enneagram type, so you can better understand what life looks like for you when you are in your Adult Chair!

 

Listen to discover:

  • A breakdown of all nine types and their highest versions
  • What The Adult Chair looks like for each Enneagram type
  • How to tell when you’re becoming healthier
  • Why we all access healing differently

I hope this episode gives you a guide to see when you’re living in your Adult Chair and reminds you of the beautiful gifts you uniquely bring to the world!

“When we’re in our Adolescent...our way of being is coming from the illusion that there’s something missing....When we start to realize that we are in fact the source of this thing that we think is missing...that’s when we start being in our Adult Chair.” - Ramona Reid

“The only way we can really get there is to identify the feeling behind the doing.” - Ramona Reid

 

“I don't think time heals. I think really getting in there and being curious and working with our emotions is what heals wounds.” - Ramona Reid

 

"This is what The Adult Chair is all about. That's why we've got all the aspects of what a healthy Adult looks like, so we can reach and point our energy towards that." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"You're not going to lose those parts of yourself. You're going to lose the part of yourself that acts out by not wanting to be scared." - Ramona Reid

 

"The next thought is the conscious thought from the Adult perspective." - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

Ramona Reid Website

http://www.mynashvillecenter.com/

 

Episode #51: Find Your Authentic Self at the Heart of the Enneagram with Ramona Reid

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/51/

 

Episode #114: Deepening The Adult Chair® Using The Wisdom of the Enneagram with Ramona Reid

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/114-deepening-the-adult-chair-using-the-wisdom-of-the-enneagram-with-ramona-reid/

 

Episode #176: Childhood Wounding in the Enneagram with Ramona Reid

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/176/

 

Episode #205: Stress and Your Enneagram Type with Ramona Reid

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/205/

 

Adult Chair® Coaches

https://theadultchair.com/coaches/

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Apr 22, 2021
258: Healing the Brain after Narcissistic Abuse with Dr. Rhonda Freeman
01:02:06

We’ve talked a lot about narcissistic abuse and the emotional effects of it on this podcast, but we haven’t dug into how this experience affects the brain and how neuroscience and healing from narcissistic abuse go hand in hand…until today! In this episode, we’re diving deep into this very important topic with Dr. Rhonda Freeman, who is an expert on the brain, neuroplasticity and trauma and who brings a message of hope to anyone wondering how to heal.

 

Dr. Freeman is a neuropsychologist who works with patients with neurological conditions and brain trauma, and after her own experience in an abusive relationship with a narcissist, she began using her knowledge of the brain to help survivors of abuse and trauma heal. This is an absolutely fascinating episode that gives an inside look into what is actually going on in the brain during and after an abusive relationship, how the healing process works and the hopeful science that shows why anyone can change their brain after trauma.

 

Listen to discover:

  • How a romantic relationship with an unhealthy person changes the brain
  • The effects of narcissism on children
  • Why anyone can heal and how the healing process works
  • The prefrontal cortex and trauma
  • How to get back into a balanced brain state
  • The importance of bodywork in changing the brain

One of the most interesting things Dr. Freeman talks about is how abusive situations activate parts of the brain that wouldn’t be activated otherwise...for example, the bonding system and threat system being triggered at the same time. When we can see what’s going on at a brain-chemistry level, it helps us understand why these situations are truly so unique and damaging...and why none of it is your fault!

But the hopeful side is that the brain is constantly changing and being shaped by new experiences, so with the right tools, you can heal and transform your brain and get back to a healthy, balanced state...and this episode will show you how!

“In general, experiences change our brains.” - Dr. Rhonda Freeman

 

“The brain will do whatever it takes to protect you.” - Dr. Rhonda Freeman

 

“We’re bonded...and even though we’re in threat, we can’t let go.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“You have to have others to heal.” - Dr. Rhonda Freeman

 

“Pay attention to your intuition. If it feels off, don’t sweep it under the carpet.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Bonds don’t necessarily mean love.” - Dr. Rhonda Freeman

 

Resources

 

Dr. Rhonda Freeman Website

https://neuroinstincts.com/

 

Dr. Rhonda Freeman Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/neuroinstincts/

 

BrainHQ (Brain Training)

https://www.brainhq.com/

 

Diner Dash (Video Game with Cognitive Benefits)

https://www.crazygames.com/game/diner-dash

 

TAC Circles

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

 

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

 

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Apr 15, 2021
257: Unlearning Codependency with Darlene Lancer
57:42

As you know, codependency is one of my “things.” Fortunately, it’s less of a thing these days, but I understand firsthand what it’s like to spend years so focused on others that we lose our sense of self. That’s part of why we talk about this so much on the podcast — so many people suffer for years not knowing about codependency, and I’m passionate about helping you get free...quickly and simply!

 

My guest today, Darlene Lancer, is a licensed marriage and family therapist, author and expert on codependency and relationships. She has worked with couples and individuals for 30 years, and she shares SO much valuable information in today’s show about what codependency looks like, how to begin recovery, the connection between shame and codependency and practical steps to becoming a healthy, whole you.

 

Listen to discover:

  • The three stages to codependency recovery
  • The shame and codependency connection
  • Shame attacks and how to get out of them
  • The importance of mindfulness in recovery
  • How to start feeling your anger as a codependent
  • The connection between codependency and attachment styles
  • 10 ways to love yourself

Darlene closes the show with her 10 tips for loving yourself, and let me tell you, they are so beautiful! I remember when I was beginning my healing journey and being told I needed to learn self-love but having no idea where to begin...and these tips are exactly where to start! I hope this is an enlightening and empowering episode for anyone ready to unlearn codependency and learn to love themselves.

"We become alienated from who we really are because of faulty parenting, and we keep trying to fill up that emptiness or feel more alive by trying to connect to something outside ourselves." - Darlene Lancer

 

"Self-esteem in action is being self-empowered." - Darlene Lancer

 

"A parent's most important job is to reflect their child." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"Codependency is based on faulty beliefs." - Darlene Lancer

 

"The unconscious doesn't distinguish between messages it hears from the outside and messages you tell yourself." - Darlene Lancer

 

"When we realize what's going on, it's like Act 2. And it's a very exciting time." - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

Darlene Lancer Website

https://www.whatiscodependency.com/

 

Episode #249: The Power of Self-Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/249/

 

Episode #253: Codependency and Anger with Michelle Farris

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/253/

 

The Adult Chair Membership - April “I Believe” Month

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

 

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

 

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Apr 08, 2021
256: Understanding Enmeshment with Dr. Ken Adams
54:04

Everyone wants a caring, loving family, right? But is it possible for close to become too close?

 

“Enmeshment” is a term that’s been gaining more traction recently, and it describes family systems that are intertwined in unhealthy ways. These families appear very loving from the outside, but that love is often based on guilt and obligation...and usually the family doesn’t even know this about themselves!

 

My brilliant guest today, Dr. Ken Adams, is pulling back the veil on enmeshment and helping us understand what it is and when and how it forms. One of the leading researchers and teachers on this topic, Dr. Adams helps us understand when closeness crosses a line, how to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy family structures and how to break free and develop secure attachments to your partner, friends or other relationships you’ve created.

 

Listen to discover:

  • What enmeshment means
  • How it forms in childhood
  • The effects enmeshment has on a spouse or partner
  • How to change the family system
  • Why getting free is something you have to do for yourself

Often, enmeshment is rooted in a lonely parent who substitutes their child for their partner. This leads to adult children who feel a sense of obligation to the parent’s well-being, even at the expense of their own needs or the life they’ve created.

 

The good news is that this doesn't have to be an either/or scenario. It’s possible to love your family without feeling tangled up with them, and you CAN redefine the relationship and become free to be who you’re meant to be — including a great son or daughter.

 

“The love contract is defined by obligatory guilt and loyalty, not about freedom to love.” - Dr. Ken Adams

 

“The empathetic, sensitive soul in the family gets globbed onto by the lonely parent.” - Dr. Ken Adams

 

“Enmeshment has a direct impact on romantic availability.” - Dr. Ken Adams

 

“Emancipation is not a negotiation.” - Dr. Ken Adams

 

“The idea of cracking [the false self] open and becoming the true self is terrifying because we don’t know who we are without that mask.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“It feels like your spouse is having an affair, but it’s with their mother or their father.” - Michelle

 

Resources

 

Dr. Ken Adams Website

https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/

 

Dr. Ken Adams YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzFj2abP0cx8tEO1eLyjbDA

 

“When He’s Married to Mom” (Dr. Ken Adams book)

https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/books/when-hes-married-to-mom/

 

“Silently Seduced” (Dr. Ken Adams book)

https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/books/silently-seduced/

 

The Adult Chair Membership - April “I Believe” Month

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

 

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

 

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Apr 01, 2021
Bonus: 5 Minute Self Love Meditation
06:06

This 5-minute meditation promotes relaxation, healing, and self-love.

 

It’s a wonderful meditation for emotional healing and/or physical healing or for anyone seeking greater peace in their lives.

Mar 25, 2021
255: 5 Steps to Getting Unstuck and Moving Forward with Your Life
33:53

Feeling stuck in life is one of the worst feelings. It can feel helpless, hopeless and confining — like no matter what we do, nothing is going to change and we have no options.

 

But this is a story from the ego! From our Adult, we know we ALWAYS have choices. That doesn’t always mean we love every option or we get the exact outcome we want, but we are never stuck. We can always make the next best choice.

 

Many of our listeners have written in asking about how to get unstuck, move forward or get their joy back, so today I’m sharing five simple steps to start getting change from the inside. These steps are easy but PACKED with power. If you try these and don’t see a change, I want to hear about it — I’m that sure they will help you!

 

Listen to discover:

  • Five simple (but powerful) steps to getting unstuck
  • What keeps us from making the changes we want
  • How to reconnect back to ourselves
  • The power of nature and a gratitude practice in getting unstuck
  • How to stop talking and start doing

Everything in your life begins with a dream. It starts with your imagination, daydreaming and really feeling how the life you want could feel (this is how we begin to shift energy). Then it becomes reality as your intention and action align.

 

The answer never comes from the outside. We have to patiently take one step forward at a time, knowing change takes time (but that it can be faster than we think). The life you deserve and are waiting for is right at your fingertips, and you can get there with these simple steps.

 

“If you don’t know yourself, how in the world are you going to change?” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Oftentimes when we’re stuck it’s because we’re not creating.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“What you talk about comes about.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“The only thing that’s stuck is your thinking.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“From our Adult Chair, we know we have choices.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

14 Days to Peace and Balance Journaling Prompts

https://theadultchair.com/14days

 

5-Minute Self-Love Meditation

https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/5-minute-self-love-meditation/

 

Episode #254: Change Your Life With Breath With Nevsah Karamehmet

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/254/

 

TAC Circles

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

(Previously “TAC Gatherings”)

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

(Previously “TAC Gatherings”)

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

 

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

 

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Mar 25, 2021
254: Change Your Life with Breath with Nevsah Karamehmet
01:03:57

Would you believe me if I told you that 90% of unexplained illnesses could be traced to one simple thing...something you do every day? Believe it or not, they can, and that thing is breathing.

 

Studies have shown that hundreds of different ailments that can’t be traced back to a known cause can often be connected to dysfunctional breathing. The good news is that breathing is SO simple and easy to work with (all it takes is about five minutes a day), and in this episode, I’m interviewing the perfect person to help you get started.

 

Nevsah Karamehmet is a breathing expert and a wealth of knowledge on the science behind the breath and how it impacts every system in our bodies. In this episode, she shares how breathing affects our thinking and ability to process emotions, what healthy breathing really looks like and how to change your life through your breath.

 

Listen to discover:

  • The connection between breath and psychology
  • The science behind healthy breathing
  • How balancing the inhale and exhale balances the nervous system
  • Why breathwork is a great introduction to meditation
  • The connection between different types of breathing and different health issues
  • Simple exercises to help you start breathing better

I know what Nevsah is saying is true, because I’ve had this experience working with a personal trainer on my lower back. He connected my pain back to my breathing and has me doing breathwork to heal a physical issue. How much more is our breathing also affecting our thoughts, feelings and emotions every day?

Breath is the essence of life, so it’s absolutely something we need to learn how to do. Nevsah gives us a few really basic exercises to begin with that are SO easy and can make such a huge difference in our overall well-being. Every human needs to hear this episode!

“Breathing affects our psychology. The way we breathe affects how we think.” - Nevsah Karamehmet

“There is no correct way to breathe on the mechanical level...We all have different breathing habits. Some of those habits are helpful and some of those are harmful.” - Nevsah Karamehmet

“If your breathing is flexible, then you are healthy.” - Nevsah Karamehmet

“When we don’t stop the emotions, they pass through us.” - Michelle Chalfant

“In my breath journey, I became an Adult.” - Nevsah Karamehmet

Resources

 

Nevsah Karamehmet Website

https://www.nevsah.com/

 

Breath Coaching Federation

https://www.breathcoachingfederation.org/

 

Breath Hub App

https://breathhub.app/

 

Nadi Shadan Breathing Technique

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1jb7l2Uf7c

 

Belly Breath Technique

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9q9WTzqQTns&t=2s

 

TAC Circles

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

(Previously “TAC Gatherings”)

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

(Previously “TAC Gatherings”)

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

 

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

 

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Mar 18, 2021
253: Codependency and Anger with Michelle Farris
46:17

Those who struggle with codependency often struggle with anger as well...but not in the way you might think. Unlike ragers or those with explosive anger, codependents tend to stuff and suppress anger to please others and avoid conflict...often not even knowing what they’re feeling themselves. This is just as unhealthy!

 

We need anger to guide us towards our needs and connect us to our experience. Anger, when expressed in a healthy way, can also lead to healthier relationships as we begin telling others how we feel and resolving problems before they turn into resentment.

 

Today, I’m talking with Michelle Farris, a licensed psychotherapist and anger management specialist, who is sharing her experience of learning to own and communicate her anger. She talks about how codependency forms, why feeling our anger is important and how to begin overcoming the fear of conflict and expressing yourself in relationships.

 

Listen to discover:

  • Concrete examples of what people pleasing looks like
  • The importance of validating emotions
  • Beginning recovery from codependency
  • How to catch the first thought and regulate anger (while still owning it)
  • How to communicate your anger in a healthy way

 

Anger is such an important human emotion...I think of it as rocket fuel to propel us towards what we want. When we’re codependent and don’t know ourselves, anger can be a key way to tap into our core needs and desires. It’s not selfish to look inward...and what you tap into inside of yourself might surprise you.

 

"Whenever we hit a road bump, I always remember there's going to be a huge gift on the other side of that." - Michelle Farris

 

"Healthy anger is us owning how we feel in the moment." - Michelle Farris

 

"When we stuff our anger, we're denying our own experience." - Michelle Farris

 

"I think of anger as rocket fuel. It really helps to push us forward in life." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"We don't cross the finish and feel 100% healthy. We are all a work in progress. But the thing you want to be doing is making sure you're walking forward on your journey."  - Michelle Chalfant

 

“As you get healthier, you will attract healthier people into your circle.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

Michelle Farris Website

https://www.counselingrecovery.com/

 

Michelle Farris Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/CounselingRecovery/

 

Michelle Farris Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/counseling_recovery/

 

Episode #11: Codependency: I’m Ok If You’re Ok

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/11-codependency-im-ok-if-youre-ok/

 

Episode #127: Codependency: Ending the Addiction to Help Others

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/127-codependency-ending-the-addiction-to-help-others/

 

Episode #172: The Joy of Codependency

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/172-the-joy-of-codependency/

 

TAC Circles

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

(Previously “TAC Gatherings”)

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

(Previously “TAC Gatherings”)

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

 

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Mar 11, 2021
252: Find Your Adult and Change Your Relationships
57:24

Wow — I was blown away by the response to last week’s episode (#251) with my one and only, Graham Chalfant. It seems like so many could relate to our relationship dynamics and the learning and work we’ve done over the years...and so many of you also asked how we started doing the work and making changes in our relationship.

 

In this week’s episode, I’m focusing the conversation back on the self and how we can each choose to show up differently in our relationships from our Adult Chair. We can’t make anyone change, but if we think of relationships as a dance, we can change the way we’re dancing, which gives our partners the opportunity to shift and fall into step with us. This is true for all kinds of relationships, not just romantic ones.

 

Listen to discover:

  • My story of changing the dance in my own marriage
  • How to change the tone of your relationship by doing your own work
  • Finding your self-worth and setting boundaries in relationships
  • How to be more open and relational

 

We all bring our wounds, expectations and “stuff” to a relationship. When we do our work, we not only transform our own lives but we change the tone of our relationships, inviting friends and partners who are a true match for us into a new way of relating to each other. Everything — including strong, connected relationships — starts within!

 

“If you want to change your relationship with anybody, you’ve gotta change the dance.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“We are always attracting in other people based on our unconscious programming.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“You’ve gotta see yourself as a very beautiful, precious diamond, and when you can see yourself like that, boundaries become more natural.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“When you own your stuff, it sets you free.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

Episode #251: How Feeling Your Emotions Can Change Your Relationship with Graham Chalfant

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/251/

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

TAC Circles

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

(Previously “TAC Gatherings”)

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

(Previously “TAC Gatherings”)

 

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

 

Mar 04, 2021
251: How Feeling Your Emotions Can Change Your Relationship with Graham Chalfant
56:47

Everyone wants connection — we’re hardwired for it as humans! But we can only connect as deeply with others as we’ve connected with ourselves. Strong relationships start by going within, feeling our emotions and being willing to open up and share with our partners.

 

On this week’s podcast, I have a very, very special guest...my husband! We’re talking with you today together and sharing some very personal details about our marriage and how feeling emotions has changed our relationship for the better.

 

Graham comes from a background where emotions weren’t expressed, and I come from an Italian family that was very expressive. For so many years, we both saw the other as not emotional enough or too emotional. Learning to feel, honor and share our emotions has deepened our connection so much and been so transformational for us.

 

In this episode, Graham shares what helped him learn to process his emotions, how that’s changed his response to different situations and the changes we’ve both seen in our relationship.

 

Listen to discover:

  • How relationships can help us overcome childhood issues when we approach them with consciousness
  • The importance of raw, open communication in a relationship
  • Somatic processing and the power of feeling emotions in the body
  • Navigating anger and stress in a relationship
  • How feeling emotions deepens intimacy (both emotional and physical)

 

By the way, Graham did all of this work on his own (no bonus points for having a spouse who is a therapist and coach!). Which means YOU can do this too! We’re all born with the ability to feel our emotions, but we have to tune in with intention instead of running away from them. When we do, we’ll find they stop coming out sideways and are instead an invitation into deeper connection with others.

 

“When we engage in a relationship with another human being, our childhood issues are going to rear up. That person is here to help us work through those childhood issues.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Once our youngest child left the house, then it all slowed down and it became more apparent to me that I needed to figure out this ‘feeling’ thing.” - Graham Chalfant

 

“I learned I could just sit with it and in 30 seconds, that heaviness would literally melt away.” - Graham Chalfant

 

“Everybody has the ability to feel emotions. At some point along our life journey, we turn them off and turn them down.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“When you feel an emotion without building a story around it, the emotion goes through you in 90 seconds.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

 

Resources

 

Episode #42: Inviting Your Relationship into The Adult Chair with Michelle and Graham Chalfant

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/42-inviting-your-relationship-into-the-adult-chair-with-michelle-and-graham-chalfant/

 

Episode #49: Am I Fraud? Imposter Syndrome & You!

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/49-am-i-a-fraud-imposter-syndrome-you/

 

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

 

The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston

New Dates: September 16-18, 2021

https://theadultchair.com/charleston/

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

(Previously “TAC Gatherings”)

 

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

 

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

 

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Feb 25, 2021
250: How to Build Empathy and Improve Relationships
29:51

One of the biggest complaints I hear from clients is, “I wish my partner/parent/friend/whoever would be more empathetic!” We often look down on or get frustrated with those we don’t feel are empathetic enough, but empathy isn’t a trait you either have or you don’t...or a trait that makes someone good or bad. Like any healthy habit, it’s a skill we learn...and anyone can learn it if they want to!

 

Everyone wants to be heard and understood, and this is why empathy is such a beautiful skill in life: it’s a tool that helps us connect more deeply with others and show them we care. In this episode, I’m giving you four simple steps that you can use to begin practicing and building empathy with any relationship in your life!

 

Listen to discover:

  • The definition of empathy
  • Four simple steps to build empathy
  • How to get started with feeling emotions
  • Things you can ask the other person to show you care
  • Why showing empathy is different than prying

When you practice empathy, you open your own heart and emotional body. You deepen connection with others but also yourself!

Being able to show empathy is deeply connected to our ability to feel our own emotions. And since feeling emotions and being present are core parts of The Adult Chair, as you do your own work and live in your Adult Chair more often, don’t be surprised when you find that empathy begins to come more naturally. It’s all part of being healthy!

 

 “If you don’t listen well to others and automatically go into “fix it” mode, you may need to brush up on your empathy.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Offering empathy to another human being will get you much further than fixing them.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Deep listening with empathy can change someone.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Empathy is a skill that can be learned.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

TAC Circles

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

(Previously “TAC Gatherings”)

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

(Previously “TAC Gatherings”)

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Feb 18, 2021
249: The Power of Self-Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff
53:59

Compassion is something we have when we live in our healthiest Adult self, but how easy is it for you to turn around and offer that compassion to yourself? Most of us speak very differently to ourselves than we would to a friend, especially when we make a mistake or are going through a hard time.

 

But self-compassion is an essential part of healing! In fact, studies show that truly effective therapy is improved by increasing our self-compassion so we can live with more love and less anxiety and stress.

My guest today, Dr. Kristin Neff, is one of the world’s leading self-compassion experts and one of the first to conduct scientific research on the benefits of self-compassion and how it can change your life. I LOVED our conversation, which covers everything from what self-compassion is and how to cultivate it to the inner critic, anger, gender roles and the way society often makes it difficult to cultivate self-compassion.

 

Listen to discover:

  • What self compassion really is
  • The three core components of self-compassion
  • Emotional and behavioral self-compassion practices
  • Why self-compassion is not selfish
  • When anger is constructive and loving
  • Why self-compassion is essential for overcoming depression, anxiety and stress

Self-compassion is not selfish. In fact, studies show that when we show ourselves compassion, it actually increases our compassion for others! Life is messy and none of us is perfect, which is why approaching the journey — both ours and others’ — with gentleness and kindness is so important to being healthy!

“The biggest problem with self-esteem is it’s contingent on success.” - Dr. Kristin Neff

 

“The word ‘compassion’ by definition is a connected stance.” - Dr. Kristin Neff

 

“I know from practicing The Adult Chair, where we’re mindful, we practice self-compassion, we’re living in the moment, we’re tuning into the moment...it gets easier.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“What reminds you to practice self-compassion is your suffering.” - Dr. Kristin Neff

 

“I really changed myself through self-compassion.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

Dr. Kristin Neff Website

https://self-compassion.org/

 

“Fierce Self-Compassion” (Kristin Neff Book - Pre-Order)

https://www.amazon.com/Fierce-Self-Compassion-Harness-Kindness-Thrive/dp/006299106X

 

The Adult Chair Membership: $1 offer

Use promo code “ANITA” to try your first month for $1

February Theme = “I Love.”

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

TAC Circles

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

(Previously “TAC Gatherings”)

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

(Previously “TAC Gatherings”)

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

 

Feb 11, 2021
248: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic and Sexual Abuse with Meredith Miller
53:25

Narcissistic abuse is, I believe, one of the most toxic experiences out there. While NO kind of abuse is ok, narcissists can be extremely subtle, sneaky and manipulative, making them difficult to spot. Anyone who has been in a relationship with one knows how confusing and damaging it can be.

 

My guest today, Meredith Miller, is a holistic coach who helps people heal themselves from narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. After experiencing abuse from a narcissistic parent for nearly 38 years, she has a deep understanding of a narcissist’s traits, how to rebuild a sense of self and how to turn the experience into an opportunity for healing and growth.

 

Meredith shares her own story of abuse and healing, and we talk about SO many important topics, from what narcissistic abuse is to the myths around abuse and how to start healing.

 

Listen to discover:

  • How to identify abuse (and steps to take to get out)
  • Navigating toxic families and people
  • Tools for healing trauma
  • Setting boundaries and reprogramming the subconscious mind
  • How to navigate narcissistic partners as a parent
  • How to go “no contact” (if that’s right for you)

There is SO much incredible information packed into this hour! Meredith truly gets it, and I’m so grateful for the gift of her time and expertise in helping the world recognize and transform the effects of abuse.

 

“You can’t share your hopes and dreams with toxic people.” - Meredith Miller

 

“It’s so important that we stop, pause, work on our own healing and transform those programs.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“The trauma awakens you to this whole new potential...we start to discover the parts of ourselves that weren’t hurt.” - Meredith Miller

 

“When you give explanations for boundaries, toxic people just see that as points to keep negotiating with you on.” - Meredith Miller

 

Resources

 

Meredith Miller Website

https://www.innerintegration.com/

 

Meredith Miller Podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/inner-integration-podcast/id1418633395

 

Meredith Miller YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/innerintegration

 

Meredith Miller Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/inner_integration/

 

Meredith Miller Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/InnerIntegration/

 

The Adult Chair Membership: $1 offer

Use promo code “ANITA” to try your first month for $1

February Theme = “I Love.”

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

TAC Circles

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

(Previously “TAC Gatherings”)

 

Episode #179: I’m in a Relationship with a Narcissist

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/179/

 

Episode #196: Spotting Covert Narcissism

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/196/

 

Episode #207: The Narcissism and Codependency Connection with Ross Rosenberg

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/207-the-narcissism-and-codependency-connection-with-ross-rosenberg/

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Circles

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

(Previously “TAC Gatherings”)

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Feb 04, 2021
247: Decision Making Made Easy
31:03

Decisions, decisions. We are all faced with dozens of choices every day — some that we make without a second thought and others that can leave us wrestling with all our options or get us completely stuck.

 

When we are in the Adolescent Chair (the seat of the ego), decisions can feel intimidating or impossible, not only because we’re worried about making the “right” choice, but also because it comes with the other traps of the ego: ruminating thoughts, negative self-talk and stuck parts. Getting into the Adult Chair and bringing in consciousness completely transforms the way we approach and make decisions!

 

In this episode, I walk you through the reasons you might get stuck making a decision, hands-on tools for easier decision making (I love a good pros and cons list) and tools you can use to find blocked parts and get more confident in whatever decision you choose.

 

Listen to discover:

  • Reasons why you might struggle with decision making
  • The downward spiral of self-judgment that can keep us from making decisions
  • Practical steps to get unstuck and make conscious decisions
  • A parts work process to work with blocked parts

Choice is a gift, and with these steps, you will find that you can enjoy easy decision making and make the most of the many beautiful opportunities you are offered in life!

“This is why we have such a difficult time making decisions: the ego is unconsciously whispering to us ‘Don’t do that. That’s not safe.’” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“The ego can run wild if we’re unconscious.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“If you can feel at least 80% [ready to make a decision], it’s ok to have a little bit of fear.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“When you bring consciousness into your reality when it comes to decision making, your life will change and you will find that decision making becomes easier than you imagined.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

The Adult Chair Membership

Use promo code “ANITA” to try your first month for $1

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

TAC Gatherings

https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Gatherings

https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Jan 28, 2021
246: Transform Your Life Experience Using The Adult Chair with Anita
41:54

Each week on this show, I aim to bring you ideas, expertise and tools to make psychology simple and to introduce you to new healing possibilities. But my goal has never been just to share knowledge. My goal is transformation...to make it easy for you to do your work and become who you were meant to be using this model!

 

I love bringing you stories of others who have been able to take what they’ve learned here and put it into practice to see REAL change in their lives. As others model the model for us, we see how easy it is to use, get ideas for how to apply it and are motivated to keep doing the work because we see how it truly can transform!

 

When I heard Anita share her story in The Adult Chair Membership group, I knew this was one I had to share with you. Anita grew up in a dysfunctional family and has been working to heal her internal programming using The Adult Chair over the last year. The holidays in particular are difficult for Anita because her family didn’t celebrate Christmas, even though she always wanted to as a child. She felt a lot of loss, shame and disappointment around the end of the year.

 

But this year, she completely transformed her holiday experience by working with her inner child and creating a magical Christmas for her and her husband. In doing so, she was also able to work through some triggers and view her relationship with her parents in a healthier way. I’m truly blown away by the work she has done, and I know you will be so inspired by her story.

 

Listen to discover:

  • Exactly how Anita used The Adult Chair to transform a negative experience
  • How to work with the inner child to reclaim joy
  • How to stayed grounded and in fact and truth in conversations with family
  • Anita’s “gratitude, guidance and grace” daily practice

“We get programmed with what our ‘norm’ is, and until we bring consciousness and awareness, we can’t change it.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Because I’ve been working so intently with The Adult Chair model this year, that’s why I think this holiday experience was totally different.” - Anita

 

“When you can bust your stories, or the stories that happen in the Adolescent Chair from our ego, we stay in the present moment, it takes you out of the trigger and it’s over.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Gratitude brings you to presence.” - Anita

 

 

 

Resources

 

The Adult Chair Membership

Use promo code ‘Anita’ to try your first month for $1

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Gatherings

https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

****

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Jan 21, 2021
245: Finding Balance Through Chinese Medicine with Brodie Welch
39:22

To start 2021, we are talking all about simple, hands-on tools and practices that you can incorporate into your life to help you get into your Adult Chair — now and all year long. Today, we’re talking about one of my favorites: Chinese medicine.

 

Chinese medicine is a beautiful, holistic view of healthcare that helps us find balance on the emotional, physical and spiritual level. It incorporates acupuncture, herbology, bodywork, movement and diet along with meditation and other grounding practices to bring health to your entire self.

 

At the root of all Chinese medicine practices is the idea that we are interconnected beings and true wellness comes from treating the whole person and not just symptoms. I love this approach!

 

In this episode, I talk with Brodie Welch, an acupuncturist and expert in Chinese medicine. We talk about presence, consciousness and processing emotions along with physical tools such as Qi gong and herbs. You might be surprised by the way these overlap with many of the ideas in The Adult Chair!

 

Listen to discover:

  • How Chinese medicine helps the body create health by finding balance
  • How to find patterns and treat them holistically
  • Why it’s important to look for connections between how you’re feeling and where those feelings manifest in the body
  • What Qi gong is and its benefits
  • Simple self-care actions that you can take each day to live more in balance

Brodie also walks us through a simple Qi gong exercise on the podcast that will help you get into balance in the moment (and maybe try a new practice you haven’t tried before!).

“It’s a way of looking at the world and the body as an ecosystem...Chinese medicine sees the body as this interconnected system of different kinds of energy.” - Brodie Welch

 

“No state of our physicality doesn’t have an emotion that goes with it.” - Brodie Welch

 

“It’s not about treating a condition. It’s about treating a person.” - Brodie Welch

 

“You don’t have to make this giant leap into someone that you’re not...If we can shift a tiny bit today and then the next day, we’re going to find a great change.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

 

Resources

 

Brodie Welch Website

https://brodiewelch.com/

 

Free Qi Gong Resource

https://brodiewelch.com/calm/

 

Brodie Welch Podcast

https://brodiewelch.com/podcast/

 

TAC Gatherings

https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Gatherings

https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Jan 14, 2021
244: Music as a Healing Art with Cheryl B. Engelhardt
42:37

Every day, our minds are taking in thousands of sights and sounds that can either bring us stress or calm….sometimes without us even knowing it! But what if we could intentionally use tools like sound and music to bring relaxation, presence and calm into our lives?

 

In this episode, I’m chatting with the fascinating Cheryl B. Engelhardt, a New York-based composer who creates beautiful music designed to boost our brain state and promote healing in our lives. After battling panic attacks and transforming her own anxiety using tools like meditation and a gratitude practice, Cheryl combined her science and music backgrounds to compose arrangements that help us process our emotions, get into the flow state and find more balance in our lives.

 

Cheryl uses her awareness of biological factors like resting heart rate and different types of brain waves along with her own success with affirmations and mindfulness to create intricately designed tracks that affect the listener at the emotional level.

 

Listen to discover:

  • Cheryl's amazing story of overcoming anxiety and pouring what she learned into her musical career
  • How music can help you get in the flow and reduce distraction
  • The science behind how music affects your brain state, mood and more
  • The connection between music and emotions

 

I love the way Cheryl has crafted each song on her new album “Luminary” to focus on releasing or attracting different things like confidence, abundance and love. And I’m telling you...this music puts you in such a focused and present state that you can feel right away!

Music, like energy, is frequency and vibration, so it only makes sense that music has the power to impact us at a deep level. What a gift to have a tool that all of us can access and that allows us to balance our brains and heal anxiety just by listening!

"Two months into starting a daily meditation practice, I had my last panic attack." - Cheryl B. Engelhardt

"Gratitude flips that and gratitude starts to have you say ‘What’s good here?’" - Michelle Chalfant

 

"The music is matching the energy of the emotion and then it's pulling you up." - Michelle Chalfant

 

 

Resources 

“Luminary” Album

https://www.iamaluminary.com/

 

Cheryl B. Engelhardt Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/cbemusic/

 

Cheryl Engelhardt Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/cbemusic/

 

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

TAC Gatherings 

https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings/

 

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

 

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Jan 07, 2021
243: Holiday Series: Healing and Repairing Relationships
34:20

We’re all human and we all make mistakes. Unfortunately, sometimes those mistakes hurt people we love and can even create distance or damage in our most important relationships.

 

When a relationship is suffering, there’s nothing we want more than to heal and restore it, but many of us don’t know where to begin. We might have our own feelings of guilt and shame to overcome or believe the other person never wants to see or talk to us again.

 

But as long as we are alive, there is hope of change! Relationships can and do heal all the time, and you have the power to repair the damage done and move forward in an even stronger relationship than before.

 

In this episode, I’m giving you eight simple steps for healing and transforming the relationships in your life. In it, I give the example of one of my clients who was working to repair her relationship with her kids, but the advice here applies to EVERY relationship...spouse, friend, family, coworker, you name it!

 

Listen to discover:

  • Eight steps to healing a broken relationship
  • How to start the process of repairing the relationship if there’s been a disconnect
  • What a true apology looks like
  • How to change the relationship through actions instead of words
  • How to forgive yourself — the most important step no matter what happens in the relationship

If you’re living on this planet, chances are you’ve hurt someone and want to know how to make it right. Tune in to discover a practical step-by-step guide to begin the process of healing...for yourself and others!

“If someone is willing to repair a relationship and put the time and effort into repairing the relationship, I always have hope.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Forgiveness allows us to get unstuck and to move on for ourselves. It’s freedom!” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“There is great power in accepting what is...if you are not accepting where things are, you are in resistance of truth.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“When you stay with just today in the present, this is where all things can change...including, and most importantly, your perception of yourself.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

The Adult Chair Gatherings

https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings

 

The Self Series 

theadultchair.com/self

 



More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Dec 31, 2020
242: Holiday Series: Raising Kids from The Adult Chair
48:46

“Help! I think I’ve ruined my kids’ lives!”

 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this from clients, listeners and even my own inner critic. No one gets a trial run at parenting, which leads to a lot of self-doubt among parents. We’re all learning as we go, and it’s easy to wonder if we’re doing it right or if we should just go ahead and start a therapy fund for our kids to work through the issues we created.

 

Well, this episode is here to help you put your fears to rest and help you become the healthiest (NOT perfect) parent you can be. I’m breaking down my seven tips for healthy parenting from your Adult Chair (hint: they’re more about you than your kids) and hopefully providing a little reassurance that you’re normal and no, you haven’t ruined your kids lives (wait until you hear the not-so-proud parenting moments I share!).

 

Listen to discover:

  • What a parent’s job actually is
  • Seven steps to become a healthy parent
  • Why there’s no such thing as perfect
  • Finding compassion for yourself and your kids
  • How to handle it when your kids trigger you
  • Setting boundaries and how to respond when your child makes a mistake

Whether you feel like you’ve screwed up or you’re just starting out and trying to get it right, I promise that it’s never too late. When YOU become healthy and live in your Adult Chair, your kids will see it modeled and become healthy too. Check out this episode to get simple, practical tips you can put into action to change the way you parent today.

 

“Humans learn from experience far more than they learn from words.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Our job as parents or caregivers of these beautiful little beings is to be guard rails for them...kids are supposed to make mistakes while in the loving protection of your home.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“You can’t change something without owning where you are and accepting it.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Boundaries help our kids feel safe.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Don’t keep your kid on a one-way expressway. Let them be who they came here to become.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

 

Resources 

The Adult Chair Gatherings

https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings

 

The Adult Chair Membership (December = “I Forgive” Month)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

Dr. Shefali (Conscious Parenting)

https://drshefali.com/

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

 

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

 

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Dec 24, 2020
241: Ending Anxiety and Becoming Empowered
23:04

Who is ready to get rid of the anxiety of 2020 and move into a more empowered 2021? I know I am! Anxiety is something all of us have felt during this crazy and difficult year. Maybe for you it’s a familiar feeling that has been turned up to full blast or maybe you’re finding yourself battling with anxiety for the first time in your life. It can feel consuming and hard to break out of.

 

But you have more power than you realize...power to transform your anxiety and move forward into a more healthy, peaceful and balanced life no matter what is going on around you. In The Adult Chair, we define anxiety as “the physical manifestation of unfelt emotions.” Thoughts create emotions, emotions get pent up inside the body and then these (often unconscious) emotions rattle the nervous system. We have to get to the root of this for anxiety to change!

 

In this episode, I’m giving you two simple steps and five tools to do just that. These will show you how to work through your emotions, calm anxiety and walk into a more empowered future.

 

Listen to discover:

  • What really causes anxiety
  • The two quick and easy steps you can take to begin calming your anxiety now
  • Five free tools you can use at home to eliminate anxiety
  • How to feel empowered during and after anxiety

 

During the episode, I walk you through a mindfulness exercise so you can actually begin calming your nervous system and lowering your anxiety WHILE you listen! That resource is at minute mark 10:28-13:34 so you can go back and find it anytime you need it.

 

I hope this episode gives you straightforward action steps that you can take to get rid of anxiety and live with more freedom and a sense of power in your life!

 

“Becoming really, truly aware of what anxiety is is step #1 to really getting into your power.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“The ego says, ‘Do more and you’ll feel better.’ But it doesn’t work. It’s an illusion.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“When we sit and just think and think and think about what’s going with us, it’s a treadmill. It doesn’t solve anything.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Taking action is what brings our power in.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

14 Days of FREE Journaling Prompts

https://theadultchair.com/14days

 

The Adult Chair Membership (December = “I Forgive” Month)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Dec 13, 2020
240: Expanding Consciousness with Dr. Dain Heer
01:03:01

What if you had far more say over your life than you realized? What if you could create the reality you want...just by changing your perspective?

 

As we learn more about energy and consciousness, one thing is becoming clear: our biggest limitations are the ones we put on ourselves, and with awareness, so many possibilities open up to us!

 

In this episode, I interview the fascinating Dr. Dain Heer about expanding consciousness and creating our reality. A practitioner of a method called Access Consciousness, Dr. Dain shares his incredible story of going from feeling unhappy and wanting to die to experiencing unbelievable peace in his life using the tools and techniques of the Access Consciousness model.

 

Listen to discover:

  • How to change the default mode network of the brain
  • How to shift the electromagnetic signals of negativity and judgment (and how this changes everything!)
  • How to clear emotions and beliefs you picked up from others
  • Simple tools and techniques to remove limitations
  • How to view this season in the world as a chance to become better

 

This episode ends with Dr. Dain leading us through an Access Consciousness process and let me tell you, it was powerful! I hope this episode helps open your mind and shift your perspective to see the possibilities all around — and most importantly, within — you.

 

“Not only do I have a level of peace that’s growing in my life, but when it wants to go away, I’ve got a way of changing it.” - Dr. Dain Heer

 

“98% of your thoughts, feelings and emotions are things you’re picking up from other people.” - Dr. Dain Heer

 

“Your point of view creates your reality.” - Dr. Dain Heer

 

“Everything is energy. We’ve got to pay attention to our thoughts and our feelings and our emotions and our beliefs.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

Dr. Dain Heer Website

https://drdainheer.com/

 

Access Consciousness Website

https://www.accessconsciousness.com/

 

The Clearing Statement Website

http://theclearingstatement.com/

 

The Adult Chair Gatherings

https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Dec 10, 2020
239: Guilt from The Adult Chair
22:18

It can be really tough to talk about guilt. No one wants to focus on a mistake they’ve made, and it can be especially hard to own and admit when we’ve done something wrong if we’re wracked with shame and beating up on ourselves.

 

But guilt can be a very healthy emotion when it comes from The Adult Chair — when it’s a path to healing rather than self-shaming. In this episode, I walk through the ways guilt serves us and how it can be a tool to let us know when we need to repair relationships. I’m also breaking down how you can tell when guilt is irrational or unnecessary and how to release guilt once you’ve made amends.

 

Listen to discover:

  • The difference between shame and guilt
  • When guilt is healthy and when it is unhealthy
  • Steps for working through guilt
  • How to (truly) apologize and repair a relationship
  • How to stop ruminating on guilt and move forward
  • Recognizing false guilt

 

I see so many people who struggle with unhealthy guilt, whether they feel guilty for something they didn’t do or can’t forgive themselves when they’ve done something wrong...especially during the holidays and this pandemic. Guilt should never be all-consuming like this...and it doesn’t have to be when you:

 

  1. Own it
  2. Apologize
  3. Take action and
  4. Let it go from your healthy Adult Chair

 

"There's a big difference between guilt and shame. People often fall into shame and label it as guilt." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"It's a choice to continue to beat up on self." - Michelle Chalfant

 

"It's ok if other people are upset and disappointed if you're making a choice to protect yourself and your family." - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

StoryWorth

Storyworth.com/adult

$10 off your first purchase

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Dec 03, 2020
238: Holiday Series: 5 Steps to Peace
17:30

I believe you can find peace no matter where you are in life, and I believe that because I have lived it! I spent the first part of my life living with anxiety and depression every day, and now I wake up most days in a state of peace...one that I would have never thought possible during my days of anxiety.

 

And while there isn’t a magic pill to find peace, the good news is that we have a choice and can take small steps every day to live in greater peace. Today, I want to share my step-by-step guide to cultivating peace with you — the exact practices I use to stay in peace in my life. These steps are practical, quick and easy to practice, but they make ALL the difference.

 

Listen to discover:

  • How the ego responds to emotions (and why that creates problems for us!)
  • How our stories and assumptions get us out of balance
  • How to honor and truly feel your emotions
  • Why you are the only one who can take care of you
  • The five steps you can do today to find greater peace

 

Here are the five steps I share in the episode. Listen to find out exactly how to practice these, starting today!

 

  1. Slow down.
  2. Put your feet on the floor and ground.
  3. Breathe (slowly).
  4. Check in with yourself (body and emotions).
  5. Journal to process what you are feeling.

 

Happiness is fleeting, but peace is a state of being that we can choose and sustain. I hope these five steps give you the tools you need to stay in peace and balance in any season of life.

 

“One of the things that we do when we have an emotion that’s rising up inside of us is we speed up. Because what’s happening is the ego is trying to solve the “problem,” which is the emotion that we’re having.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“When we sit in our healthy Adult Chair, we know emotions are not a bad thing. They are a beautiful gift.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

Care/Of

Takecareof.com

Use code ADULT50 for 50% off your first order

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Nov 26, 2020
237: Healthy & Balanced Eating During the Holidays with Jessi Jean
37:30

Food is such a beautiful part of life. It’s a way of connecting with others and bringing enjoyment to your life. Unfortunately, we live in a world that makes it difficult to have a healthy relationship with food. We are met with the pressure to look a certain way, a lack of education about how to truly nourish our bodies and mixed messages that encourage both excess and deprivation — neither of which are healthy!

 

The holidays take this struggle with food and body image to the next level. We might miss out on a celebration or connection with our family because we’re filled with guilt and fear around food or we might lose control and later regret the way we lost sight of our goals for ourselves. It’s a frustrating cycle that takes all the fun out of this beautiful season!

 

So, in preparation for this season of feasting and celebration, I’m bringing back the lovely Jessi Jean, who is an eating psychology coach and such a grounding voice on how to have a healthy relationship with food. In this episode, Jessi talks about what a healthy relationship with food looks like, how to check in to make sure you have a balanced relationship with food and strategies for keeping that balance throughout the holidays (good news: pie is still on the menu!).

 

Listen to discover:

  • The importance of your mindset going into a holiday food scene and how to prep your mind
  • Tangible strategies for feeling in control of your eating (while still celebrating!)
  • Her “future pacing” hack for eating intentionally at the holidays
  • How to respond to a "food pusher" and how to pull yourself out of a binge
  • Questions to ask to check in on your relationship with food

 

As Jessi says in this episode, it’s not what you do with food that’s the problem; it’s how you feel about it. The important thing is to stay in touch with what’s important to you, tune into all your senses and truly enjoy the experience of the holidays!

"We can't control what our loved ones are going to say. We can't control what they are going to do. But we can control our reaction and our response." - Jessi Jean

"Practice being unapologetic in your decisions with food." - Jessi Jean

"You teach people how to respect you by the way that you respect yourself." - Jessi Jean

"When you take something away, there's the thinking that there's a lack and that triggers something inside us." - Michelle Chalfant

"Anything we do that is guilt and shame and fear-based...we take a good thing and make it toxic." - Jessi Jean

 

Resources

 

Episode #153: Binge Eating with Jessi Jean

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/153-binge-eating-with-jessi-jean/

 

Jessi Jean Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/jessijeannn

 

Jessi Jean The Dear Body Podcast

https://risewithmeco.com/podcast/

 

Jessi Jean Food Freedom Program

https://risewithmeco.com/

 

30-Day Journaling Challenge

https://theadultchair.com/30days/

 

More Adult Chair

 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Nov 19, 2020
236: How to Stay in Your Adult Chair During the Holidays
28:24

The holidays are almost upon us...and if holidays didn’t already come with stressful situations, now we get to navigate the holidays in 2020! A contentious election with families split across political lines, delicately balancing celebrations with COVID-19 concerns and the general stress of this year have the potential to add chaos to an already busy time of year.

But with The Adult Chair, you have the tools you need to stay calm, centered and balanced even in the middle of the holidays. No one can steal your joy or your power unless you let them, so in this episode, I’m giving you three essential steps to staying in your Adult Chair...all the way from the time the Thanksgiving turkey is carved until the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s.

 

Listen to discover:

  • 3 steps to staying healthy during the holiday season
  • How to refuel and recharge even on busy days
  • The power of acceptance in dealing with difficult people or situations
  • The difference between acceptance and agreement
  • The importance of boundaries

 

The key to having a healthy holiday season is to not lose yourself among the demands of others. This is why most of us struggle at the holidays — there is so much competing for our attention (plus, old, unhealthy patterns that we get pulled back into) that we lose connection with ourselves and we feel stressed, frazzled and lost.

So, this year, if you only remember one thing, focus on staying connected to yourself. Remember who you are, and you can have a really lovely holiday season.

"The moment that we lose our emotional balance and slip into story and assumption, we have lost our joy and our power and our happiness." - Michelle Chalfant

"Have hope that [someone] might change some day, but drop your expectation of them to change."  - Michelle Chalfant

"The moment we can accept someone fully, the triggering becomes far less." - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

30-Day Journaling Challenge

https://theadultchair.com/30days/

The Adult Chair Membership (November Theme: Boundaries)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Nov 12, 2020
235: Holistic Healing with Dr. Nicole LePera
54:29

While our go-to image of mental health might be a couch in a therapist’s office, the world is slowly changing (and I’m SO glad it is!). Don’t get me wrong...I’m not anti-therapy (I’m a therapist myself), but I think it’s only part of the equation. I believe we need more.

I believe true healing must be holistic, looking at our experiences from every angle and using methods that heal body, mind and spirit. 

Dr. Nicole LePera is a kindred spirit when it comes to holistic healing, the creator behind one of my favorite Instagram accounts @the.holistic.psychologist and a self-healing guru that I am thrilled to finally bring on the show! Drawing from psychology, spirituality, the mind/body connection and more, Dr. LePera believes mental wellness is for everyone and we all have the power to heal ourselves with the right tools (can I get an amen?).

In this episode, Dr. LePera shares her own story of transformation, her philosophy of self-healing and tools you can use to regulate your nervous system, figure out who you are and what you need and change limiting patterns in your life by turning in and tuning in.

Listen to discover:

  • The power of consciousness and being in the present moment
  • The nervous system’s role in healing
  • The importance of breathwork
  • The power of journaling to create consciousness and set intentions
  • How to update and rewire programming
  • Interdependence and how to be healthy in relationships

Dr. LePera believes healing begins by going inside and connecting to self, and I couldn’t agree more (it’s ALL about awareness)! If you’re on a journey of transformation, I hope this episode encourages you to look at your healing through a holistic lens and reminds you that you have the power (and tools) you need right where you are.

"We need to understand the whole being in an integrative way, and I believe we need to expand the tools we're practicing outside of therapy as well." - Nicole LePera

"You can be awake but still not be fully in the body and conscious about what you're doing." - Michelle Chalfant

"There isn't one universal way to heal." - Nicole LePera

"My goal is to empower within so we can cope with the ever-changing without." - Nicole LePera

 

"With conscious effort, every single day, a little bit of something...we do find that people can change. We REALLY can change." - Michelle Chalfant


Resources

Dr. Nicole LePera Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/the.holistic.psychologist/ 

Dr. Nicole LePera Website

https://yourholisticpsychologist.com/ 

30-Day Journaling Challenge

https://theadultchair.com/30days/

 

More Adult Chair 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com  

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Nov 05, 2020
234: Anger and Healthy Relationships with Dr. Christian Conte
01:07:54

Emotions are my love language, and I’m all about learning to really feel our emotions...every single one of them. But some emotions are easier for us to feel than others, and there’s one that I find most people struggle with: anger. 

Anger often scares us because it’s intense, and when it’s unmanaged, it can lead people to do some pretty hurtful things. But anger isn’t a bad thing (in fact we need it), and I think it’s time we start talking about it a whole lot more. 

Our guest today, Dr. Christian Conte, is one of the world’s leading experts on anger and emotional management. Dr. Conte has worked with top athletes, MMA fighters, people in maximum security prisons and some of the toughest people on the planet to help them integrate anger and other uncomfortable emotions in their lives, and he is full of wisdom to help us do the same thing. 

Not only do we explore how to manage our emotions in this episode, but we also talk about Dr. Conte’s “Yield Theory,” a powerful tool to cultivate more empathy for others, and ways we can use this empathy to create healthier relationships with anyone in our life.

 

Listen to discover:

  • How to see emotions as a signal of what we need in life and how to process them in healthy ways
  • The two emotional systems we all have 
  • The power of extreme empathy and learning to see the world through other people’s minds
  • How to give each other presence vs. going into “fix it” mode
  • The importance of non-attachment in shifting our perspectives and understanding our emotions
  • Letting go of past hurt and anger and healing relationships 

Anger is like fire. It can be destructive if not contained, but it can also be the fuel that powers us to recognize what we need and move forward in life. I hope this episode will help you get more comfortable with anger and other intense emotions, learn how to integrate them in a healthy way and become a more whole person as a result! 

“Emotions come and go. Actions cannot be undone.” - Dr. Christian Conte

 

“Your brain is being impacted by everything you encounter.” - Dr. Christian Conte

 

“The reason people get stuck in emotion is we get stuck in the story about the emotion.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“We need anger to fuel us and to make us move forward in life.” - Michelle Chalfant 

 

Resources

Dr. Christian Conte YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC47w9g7lESxzqefb5vWkN1Q

Dr. Christian Conte Website

http://www.drchristianconte.com/ 

Dr. Christian Conte Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/Dr-Christian-Conte-905015942910441/timeline/

Dr. Christian Conte Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/drchristianconte 

Dr. Christian Conte Twitter

https://twitter.com/Dr_Conte 

Walking Through Anger - Dr. Christian Conte book

https://www.amazon.com/Walking-Through-Anger-Confronting-Emotionally/dp/1683642589 

The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/charleston/ 

30-Day Journaling Challenge

https://theadultchair.com/30days/ 

 

More Adult Chair 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com  

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Oct 29, 2020
233: I’m Codependent. Now What?
36:35

“Codependency.” You finally have a word to describe why you’ve been feeling so overwhelmed and drained your whole life. And while I’m not the biggest fan of labels, sometimes having a term to describe your experience can be the thing that makes all the pieces fall into place and the light bulb go off.

But having a “label” is only the first step. That’s why one of the biggest questions I get asked, especially around codependency, is “So, what do I do about it?”

Codependency is something I understand extremely well, because it was a constant companion for the first half of my life. I know how painful it can be and the feelings of regret that can arise when you discover you’re codependent. But I also know codependency doesn’t have to be the end of the story. You CAN change this pattern in your life, and in this episode, I’m telling you exactly how to do that.

Listen to discover:

  • What codependency is 
  • Signs of codependency 
  • What do next to start getting healthy 
  • 5 practical steps to transform codependency

You didn’t choose codependency, but starting today, you can choose to end it! Instead of feeling regret for time lost, look at today as the first day of the rest of your life. I’m here to help you take that next step into health and freedom! 

“If you’re human, you have things to work on. Healthy people work on their stuff.” - Michelle Chalfant

“Nobody throws us in the victim chair. We choose it.” - Michelle Chalfant

“You have to take care of you and your life. It’s no one else’s job.” - Michelle Chalfant

“There’s a fine line between being really caring and codependent, and when you’re codependent, you can't see that line.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

30-Day Journaling Challenge

https://theadultchair.com/30days/

The Adult Chair Private Facebook Group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

Green Chef

www.greenchef.com/adult80

$80 off your first box + free shipping

 

More Adult Chair 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com  

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

 

Oct 22, 2020
232: Overcoming Relationship PTSD
44:51

We all know a bad relationship can wreak havoc on our lives, from our self-esteem to our goals and dreams. But most of us don’t know that the effects of a bad relationship can linger long after the breakup. Yes, relationship PTSD is a real thing!

PTSD (or post-traumatic stress disorder) is not just reserved for the traumas of war or the “big” obvious traumas. Anyone can suffer from PTSD, and if you have lived in a toxic or abusive relationship for any amount of time, you might find yourself suffering from fear, stress or hypervigilance in relationships even after you’ve “moved on.”

 

On today’s show, I’m bringing back my friend, Tracy, who has shared in past episodes about her marriage with a narcissist, the process of leaving that relationship and beginning to date again. As she began exploring new relationships, she caught herself unconsciously bracing for the worst or expecting new partners to act like her ex. She had no idea she had PTSD until she and I talked about what was going on and today, she is bravely and vulnerably sharing her experience to help shed light on this important topic.

Listen to discover:

  • The difference between “little t” trauma and “big T” trauma and why both can create PTSD
  • What PTSD is
  • The signs of relationship PTSD
  • The role of the body in healing PTSD
  • Practical tools and tips to overcome PTSD

Not only does Tracy help us understand what relationship PTSD is and how it can show up in our lives, but she also shares her journey of healing and what she has used to make AMAZING and fast progress in overcoming PTSD. This episode is packed with tools from The Adult Chair that will help you heal stored trauma and move forward into a brighter and happier relationship future.

 

“When you have fear about a past event that has already happened, that’s the biggest sign to me.” - Tracy

“With trauma we’re stuck in the past, and the body doesn’t understand that we’ve moved forward in time.” - Michelle Chalfant

“Instead of being who we really are, we become that person who walks on eggshells to not upset them and we lose ourselves.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“I had to be ok with myself outside of that relationship.” - Tracy

“The right person will wait for you.” - Michelle

 

Resources

Episode #179: I’m in a Relationship with a Narcissist

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/179/

Episode #199: Dating from The Adult Chair

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/199/

I’m Ok Course

https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/CnJRzrVL/checkout

30-Day Journaling Challenge

https://theadultchair.com/30days/

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

Inner Child Resource

https://theadultchair.com/innerchild/

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Oct 15, 2020
231: Practical Ways to Slay Anxiety with Shann Vander Leek
39:16

It’s hard to find words for the times we are living in today. Interesting, scary, stressful, angry, strange...it feels like one minute we can have it together and the next be hijacked by anxiety. There is so much coming at us, so much to navigate and so much to sort through as we try to figure out what is true and what is not. It’s A LOT for any body and brain.

Though our minds are easily distracted and swayed, the good news is that we CAN live in peace and balance even in uncertain times...and we all have a choice in the matter.

In this episode, I chat with Shann Vander Leek, host of the Anxiety Slayer podcast and an expert on how to calm anxiety no matter what is going on. She explains why we’re all feeling so anxious right now and gives us hands-on steps to stop anxiety in its tracks...everything from music to getting outside to a simple gratitude practice.

 

Listen to discover:

  • Practical ways to combat anxiety even in times of uncertainty
  • How to get grounded quickly
  • How to move energy in the body
  • The power of “Joy Spotting”
  • Powerful tools like high vibe music, supplements and small daily practices that lead to big changes

Whether you’re feeling anxious from the collective events of the world or walking through a tough situation in your personal life, these practices are quick, easy and free and here to help you get back to peace...from within.

“It’s really best to take things day by day and hour by hour to stay as calm as you can during these uncertain times.” - Shann Vander Leek

 

“The faster the mind goes, the more out our body we are and the more anxious we are.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“You cannot be joyful if you’re in judgment.” - Shann Vander Leek

 

"Every single thing to help us with anxiety is an internal job. It's about a choice that we have to make." - Michelle Chalfant

 

 

Resources

Anxiety Slayer

https://www.anxietyslayer.com/

EFT Resource

https://www.anxietyslayer.com/eft

Joy Spotting Gift

https://transformationgoddess.com/joy-spotting-gift/

Episode #142: All Things Anxiety with Shann Vander Leek

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/142-all-things-anxiety-with-shann-vander-leek/

Coffee Jazz YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNQ9q1dUxUU

Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer (book)

https://www.amazon.com/Braiding-Sweetgrass-Indigenous-Scientific-Knowledge/dp/1571313567

The Magnesium Miracle by Carolyn Dean (book)

https://www.amazon.com/Magnesium-Miracle-Revised-Updated/dp/034549458X

The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/charleston/

30-Day Journaling Challenge

https://theadultchair.com/30days/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ 

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Oct 08, 2020
230: Cutting Through Depression
46:43

From the outside — and to herself — Tonya looked like she had it all together...until one day, all the “spinning plates” fell and she collapsed. That moment led Tonya to a therapist’s office where she was diagnosed with depression and anxiety that had been simmering under the surface unnoticed for years. She found herself battling suicidal thoughts with stress manifesting in her body in many different ways.

Determined to not let it be the end of her story, Tonya began searching for a quick way to transform her depression on her own. She prayed for a “knife” that could quickly cut through her depression and was led to The Adult Chair podcast, which allowed her to completely transform in a matter of months. In this episode, Tonya shares her inspirational story of how she used the tools in The Adult Chair to completely shift her outlook on life and get healthy FAST (and for free!).

 

Listen to discover:

  • How Tonya cut through depression in less than a year
  • The tools that were most effective in working through depression
  • The importance of self-talk and shifting skewed thought patterns
  • Her journey of knowing who she is and learning to love herself

Today, Tonya is happy, healthy and on her way to becoming an Adult Chair Certified Coach. I’m so excited to see the way she helps others transform through her own experience of walking through and transforming depression and anxiety.

 

“The Adult Chair was my knife to cut through layers and layers of trauma.” - Tonya

 

“One of the biggest things is to be a story buster. Something happens and we interpret it negatively, and that leads to anxiety.” - Michelle Chalfant

“Accepting it doesn’t mean you like it or you’re never wanting change. Acceptance releases us from pushing against.” - Michelle Chalfant 

“The same walls we use to protect our image are the same ones that imprison us in our pain.” - Tonya

 

Resources

 

The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/charleston/

30-Day Journaling Challenge

https://theadultchair.com/30days/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ 

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Oct 01, 2020
229: End Self-Sabotage
32:49

Do you ever catch yourself setting a goal…and then doing the exact opposite?

Maybe it’s deciding to get in shape…and then reaching for the chocolate cake.

Maybe it’s getting into a healthy relationship…and then cheating on your partner.

We can be our own worst enemy sometimes, sabotaging ourselves and our goals. But like anything else, self-sabotage is just a part of us… and it’s actually an easy one to transform! 

 

In this episode, I’m breaking down how to get into your Adult Chair and find your self-sabotaging parts. I share a client example from one of my sessions and walk you through a process to help you find your own self-sabotaging parts so you can end it for good!!

 

Listen to discover:

  • What self-sabotage is
  • Why we might self-sabotage
  • How to look at self-sabotage through the lens of each Chair
  • How to use parts work to stop self-sabotage (using a client example)

I really believe you can live the life you dream of when you find and shift the subconscious parts that keep you from feeling whole and complete. That’s the power of this work...for self-sabotage or any other part! 

“The Adult decisions are solid, grounded, they are coming from this present place and they are clear.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“What we want to do, regardless of what is going on in your life, is we want to get in touch with the part that is disturbing or disrupting our goal.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“The goal is to bring your Adult Chair more present in your life. You’re grounding more of those parts when you can merge them back into your Adult self.”  - Michelle Chalfant

 

“You really can live the life you want instead of a life run by the old subconscious programs in your Adolescent Chair. Reach for the connection to these parts, and you can transform self-sabotage and anything else that’s in the way of you feeling whole and complete.”  - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ 

 

The Adult Chair Closed Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

Care/Of

http://www.takecareof.com

Use code ADULT50 for 50% off your first order 



More Adult Chair 

 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

 

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Sep 24, 2020
228: Breakthrough Treatments for Anxiety, Depression and Stress with Dr. David Rabin
01:08:56

Buckle your seat belts, because our guest today is today is about to take you on a trip deep into the human mind and help you understand how to naturally treat everything from depression to ADHD.

I first heard about Dr. David Rabin when my husband gave me an Apollo Neuro, a wearable sensory device that Dr. Rabin invented to naturally calm the nervous system. After digging more into his work, I knew I had to invite Dr. Rabin on the show and wow, he might be the most genius person I’ve ever talked to!

Dr. David Rabin is a neuroscientist and psychiatrist who specializes in treating anxiety, depression, stress, PTSD and trauma using traditional and alternative methods like the Apollo Neuro and therapeutic psychedelics, which are showing breakthrough results in clinical trials around the country. 

With a deep understanding of how the mind works, Dr. Rabin breaks down ideas like consciousness, the subconscious mind, trauma and the stress response in an easy-to-understand way. He helps us understand WHY our minds function like they do and gives us simple techniques for change — both medicinal and non-medicinal. 

 

Listen to discover:

  • Breakthrough medicines for depression, anxiety and more that are currently going through clinical trials 
  • Common misconceptions around psychedelic medicines
  • What “default mode” is and how to change your neural pathways (even without psychedelics)
  • The fastest non-psychedelic way to rewire the brain
  • The impact of chronic stress on the body (and how stress recovery works)
  • The revolutionary Apollo Neuro sensory device changing the game for stress, ADHD and more

 

Science today is SO exciting to me. These breakthrough, natural treatments are rooted in a deep understanding of neuroscience and human consciousness and have so much potential for healing. Dr. Rabin is a WEALTH of knowledge, and I hope you enjoy learning from him as much as I did!

 

“The real meaning of the term [psychedelic] is ‘mind manifesting.’” - Dr. David Rabin

 

“It makes all of that content that’s stored beneath our awareness all of the sudden accessible. We can start to look at that content in an unbiased, non-judgmental way and recognize that this is all part of us that we’re ignoring or leaving behind in the background.” - Dr. David Rabin

 

“The process of self-healing is to accept and love and be grateful for all the parts of ourselves, even and especially the parts that we’ve been told are not acceptable or not welcome.” - Dr. David Rabin

 

“We have the ability to make ourselves sick by changing the way we describe ourselves and the way we think about ourselves and the way we think about our lives. Similarly, we have an equal ability to make ourselves or help ourselves heal by changing the way we think about ourselves as agents of healing.” - Dr. David Rabin

 

Resources

Apollo Neuro (15% for Adult Chair fans!)

https://apolloneuro.com/adultchair

Dr. David Rabin Website

https://www.drdave.io/

Dr. David Rabin Twitter

https://twitter.com/daverabin

Dr. David Rabin Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/drdavidrabin/

Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS)

https://maps.org/

ProjectCBD

https://www.projectcbd.org/

Ketamine Psychotherapy Associates

https://ketaminepsychotherapyassociates.com/

The Third Wave

https://thethirdwave.co/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ 

 

More Adult Chair 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com  

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

 

Sep 17, 2020
227: The Benefits of a Meditation Practice with Sharon Salzberg
01:00:33

In 1974 when Sharon Salzberg discovered meditation, there were no meditation apps, mainstream teachers, corporate retreats or scientific studies backing the practice like we have today. Largely considered a Buddhist practice, meditation was relegated to Eastern thought and spiritual gurus. But for Sharon, who grew up in the hustle and bustle of New York City and went through a number of traumatic experiences as a child, it was a lifesaver a tool that showed her she could take ownership of her life and transform her own suffering.

After studying in India for several years, Sharon became a meditation teacher and one of the first people to bring meditation into the mainstream, demystifying the practice with her secular and modern approach. I have followed her for years, and I am THRILLED to feature her in this episode one that is so packed full of wisdom from this master teacher.

In this episode, Sharon shares what meditation is and what it isn’t and the many wonderful things meditation can cultivate in our lives, including self-compassion, healthy ways to process pain, the ability to fall and get back up again and a profound connection with ourselves and others. She also helps to break down how to get started meditating and why everyone should be doing it.

 

Listen to discover:

  • The heart of the practice, which might surprise you
  • How meditation is a life exercise and skills training
  • Why there is no failing in meditation
  • The difference between a mindfulness practice and a loving kindness meditation
  • What causes suffering
  • Navigating uncertainty, fear and anger during these challenging times
  • And SOO much more!

 

Whether you’ve meditated for years or are considering starting, I know you will love the countless nuggets of wisdom in this episode. And if you’re on the fence, I encourage you to take Sharon’s advice and just try it! Don’t give up after 10 minutes or look just at the practice time itself, but instead look at your life and how differently you respond to yourself, your relationships and life’s challenges. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised!

 

“We’re not trying to blank out or drop parts of our experience. We’re cultivating the ability to be with our experience differently. We don’t have to take every thought to heart. We don’t have to follow every thought into action. We don’t have to hold onto an emotion as if it’s the only thing we will ever feel.” - Sharon Salzberg

 

“It’s the practice of letting go and being able to begin again.” - Sharon Salzberg

 

“We don’t all share the same degree of pain. But we all share vulnerability.” - Sharon Salzberg

 

“You’re not supposed to stop your thoughts; you’re supposed to witness.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

Sharon Salzberg Website

https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/

Sharon Salzberg Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/SharonSalzberg/

Sharon Salzberg Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/sharonsalzberg/

Real Change (New Book)

https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/realchange/

Real Happiness (Sharon Salzberg Book)

https://www.amazon.com/Real-Happiness-Meditation-28-Day-Program/dp/0761159258

Faith (Sharon Salzberg Book)

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00AG0BRCE/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i3

Inner Child Resource (contains 2 free meditations)

https://theadultchair.com/innerchild

Free Meditations

https://theadultchair.com/meditations/

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

 

Sep 10, 2020
226: Healing and Repairing Relationships
33:19

We’re all human and we all make mistakes. Unfortunately, sometimes those mistakes hurt people we love and can even create distance or damage in our most important relationships.

When a relationship is suffering, there’s nothing we want more than to heal and restore it, but many of us don’t know where to begin. We might have our own feelings of guilt and shame to overcome or believe the other person never wants to see or talk to us again.

But as long as we are alive, there is hope of change! Relationships can and do heal all the time, and you have the power to repair the damage done and move forward in an even stronger relationship than before.

In this episode, I’m giving you eight simple steps for healing and transforming the relationships in your life. In it, I give the example of one of my clients who was working to repair her relationship with her kids, but the advice here applies to EVERY relationship...spouse, friend, family, coworker, you name it!

 

Listen to discover:

  • Eight steps to healing a broken relationship
  • How to start the process of repairing the relationship if there’s been a disconnect
  • What a true apology looks like
  • How to change the relationship through actions instead of words
  • How to forgive yourself the most important step no matter what happens in the relationship

 

If you’re living on this planet, chances are you’ve hurt someone and want to know how to make it right. Tune in to discover a practical step-by-step guide to begin the process of healing...for yourself and others!

 

“If someone is willing to repair a relationship and put the time and effort into repairing the relationship, I always have hope.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Forgiveness allows us to get unstuck and to move on for ourselves. It’s freedom!” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“There is great power in accepting what is...if you are not accepting where things are, you are in resistance of truth.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“When you stay with just today in the present, this is where all things can change...including, and most importantly, your perception of yourself.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

The Self Series

https://theadultchair.com/self

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

 

Sep 03, 2020
225: Raising Kids from The Adult Chair
46:36

“Help! I think I’ve ruined my kids’ lives!”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this from clients, listeners and even my own inner critic. No one gets a trial run at parenting, which leads to a lot of self-doubt among parents. We’re all learning as we go, and it’s easy to wonder if we’re doing it right or if we should just go ahead and start a therapy fund for our kids to work through the issues we created.

Well, this episode is here to help you put your fears to rest and help you become the healthiest (NOT perfect) parent you can be. I’m breaking down my seven tips for healthy parenting from your Adult Chair (hint: they’re more about you than your kids) and hopefully providing a little reassurance that you’re normal and no, you haven’t ruined your kids lives (wait until you hear the not-so-proud parenting moments I share!).

 

Listen to discover:

  • What a parent’s job actually is
  • Seven steps to become a healthy parent
  • Why there’s no such thing as perfect
  • Finding compassion for yourself and your kids
  • How to handle it when your kids trigger you
  • Setting boundaries and how to respond when your child makes a mistake

Whether you feel like you’ve screwed up or you’re just starting out and trying to get it right, I promise that it’s never too late. When YOU become healthy and live in your Adult Chair, your kids will see it modeled and become healthy too. Check out this episode to get simple, practical tips you can put into action to change the way you parent today.

 

“Humans learn from experience far more than they learn from words.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Our job as parents or caregivers of these beautiful little beings is to be guard rails for them...kids are supposed to make mistakes while in the loving protection of your home.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“You can’t change something without owning where you are and accepting it.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Boundaries help our kids feel safe.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Don’t keep your kid on a one-way expressway. Let them be who they came here to become.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

The Adult Chair Membership (August Theme: Acceptance)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

Dr. Shefali (Conscious Parenting)

https://drshefali.com/

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Aug 27, 2020
224: The Law of Attraction with Christy Whitman
36:30

Before studying the Law of Attraction, Christy “had it all” but still felt really unhappy and unfulfilled. As she began seeking, she discovered meditation and eventually the Law of Attraction, both of which led her to recognize how her inner dialog was creating unhappiness in her life. As she worked to shift her own life, she began to realize the power of her thoughts in creating her reality and that she felt called to share this gift with others. Since then, Christy has become a life coach, teacher and Law of Attraction guru, and I’m thrilled to share her wisdom with you on today’s podcast.

In this episode, Christy not only shares the principles behind the Law of Attraction but also how and why it works at an energetic level. She explains the way that common thought patterns or words we use with ourselves are keeping us from getting what we want and how to change those patterns to attract what we are seeking. If you are feeling stuck and not manifesting the life you dream of or if you’re interested in learning more about creation and how to transform your life, this is the episode for you!

 

Listen to discover:

  • What the law of attraction is and why it works
  • How we work as receivers, containers and senders of energy
  • The ways we send out energy through what we say, think, expect, feel and act
  • Why you might be experiencing blocks in manifestation
  • The role of guilt in our lives and the power of forgiveness
  • Three questions we need to ask to pivot our lives

 

“I could actually choose my thoughts to be different even though ‘what it is’ is the way it is.” - Christy Whitman

 

“If you feel resistance of any kind, that’s energy.” - Christy Whitman

 

“When you say words that are based in lack, anything that starts in lack is going to end in lack. When you’re starting with words that are words of abundance...then that whole creation starts from there.” - Christy Whitman

 

“Most of us walk around in this very unconscious state with these automatic thoughts just going, going, going. We're not even aware. So, slowing down and becoming aware is so key.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

Christy Whitman Website

https://www.christywhitman.com/

Christy Whitman Free Resource

https://www.watchyourwords.com/

Christy Whitman Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/christywhitmaninternational/

Christy Whitman Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/christywhitman1

14 Days to Peace and Balance

https://theadultchair.com/14days

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

 

Aug 20, 2020
223: Tragedy and Marriage Transformed - April's Story
51:21

The Adult Chair is a powerful model for healing our wounds and becoming more empowered in our lives...but it has the power to change more than just ourselves. When we have the tools to navigate life’s challenges and respond differently to life, it can change everything around us!

In today’s episode, I’m interviewing my friend April, who is sharing how The Adult Chair model helped her walk through one of the most difficult seasons of her life, first transforming her marriage that was in trouble and then almost losing her son in a terrible car accident. Through these uncertain and tragic situations, April found she was able to shift her perspective and not just change her response to life’s challenges but also transform her marriage and family. She shares how the model was easy to understand and applicable enough for her and her husband to use together and the surprising peace and clarity she had when she got the call no parent wants to get.

April’s practice of busting stories, clinging to truth and being present through life’s challenges is hope and inspiration for all of us and a real-life example of how The Adult Chair can be used to help us transform whatever life throws our way.

 

Listen to discover:

  • How The Adult Chair helped April and her husband get the breakthrough they were looking for in their marriage
  • How busting stories and assumptions and connecting with their needs has helped April and her husband cultivate a new connection they didn’t think possible
  • How April stayed grounded and in the moment even in the middle of shock and tragedy
  • Avoiding the “what ifs” and worst-case scenario thoughts of the Adolescent
  • How we can teach our children to live in their Adult Chair by modeling it as parents
  • The power of owning our needs and learning to receive

 

“It’s not uncommon for us both to make up stories and assumptions in our marriage. It’s very easy to make up stories about each other (like) ‘Oh, he’s too busy; he doesn’t care.’ Or on the other hand, he’s thinking ‘I’m not worthy; she’s not attracted to me.’ When really the truth is, I’m exhausted or he’s exhausted.” - April

“Having a true need and being able to share that with another is such a beautiful, deep way to connect.”  - Michelle Chalfant

“It’s important that we remember it doesn’t come naturally right away...but I have found that tools over time do develop.” - April

“Your brain wasn’t able to go back to the old you, which might have gotten freaked out and panicky, because the neural pathways are very much more now ‘Let me go back to fact and truth.’” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

Episode #210: Improving and Deepening the Connection with Your Partner

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/210/

Episode #146: Healthy Relationships https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/146-healthy-relationships/

Episode #148: Healthy Relationships Part 2

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/148-healthy-relationships-part-2/

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Aug 13, 2020
222: Summer Series: Ending Procrastination, Perfectionism and People Pleasing
43:45

Are you ready to shift out of procrastination, perfectionism and people pleasing? I can’t imagine anyone that doesn’t have their hand up!

In today’s show, we are diving into The Adult Chair model and looking deeper at our “parts.” Though this episode focuses on some of these common parts that I hear many of my clients talk about, it really is a crash course in what parts work is and how to start working with your parts on your own, even without therapy!

Things like procrastination, people pleasing and perfectionism are inner unconscious parts that can run the show until we bring them into awareness to transform. Today I am going to show you how to use The Adult Chair model to find and transform your inner parts that are driving you to do things or act in ways that are limiting you.

 

Listen to discover:

  • What parts work is
  • How to identify the dominant parts you want to shift
  • A step-by-step process for finding these parts, dialoguing with them and transforming them
  • A real-life example from a client so you can see this process in action

 

This is full of practical tools and examples that will empower you to work with any part that is causing problems and transform it using the power of your Adult. As always, I have included easy-to-use steps for you to work with this concept today and begin your transformation right away. Get ready for shifts with today’s episode!

 

“If you want to make changes in your outer world, you have to make changes in your inner world.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“When people say, “I am overwhelmed,” “I am a perfectionist,” or “I am a procrastinator,” that’s not true...it’s not who you are.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Awareness is key to our transformation. If we don't know that we’re doing something or showing up in a certain way, how the heck are we supposed to change it?” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Do not guess and think you know why or what these parts are going to say or why they’re feeling what they’re feeling. Go inside of you and ask that part these very pointed questions.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

The Adult Chair Workshop - New York

https://theadultchair.com/new-york/

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Aug 06, 2020
221: Summer Series: Setting Healthy Boundaries
31:23

Why do people cringe at the suggestion of setting a boundary? So many people respond with, “I don’t like confrontation” when I suggest a boundary.

Setting boundaries is tough to do if we were not modeled healthy boundaries growing up. Even if we came from a pretty healthy family, few people grew up with healthy boundary modeling.

In today’s show, I talk about what boundaries are, how to set them, examples of healthy versus unhealthy boundaries and the four keys to setting healthy boundaries.

 

Listen to discover:

  • The difference between a boundary and a confrontation
  • Examples of healthy and unhealthy boundaries
  • Four steps to setting boundaries
  • What to do when boundaries backfire
  • What boundaries are not and what to do if you are in a toxic relationship

 

Boundaries are rooted in our sense of self and come from our internal guidance system. They are a necessary part of our lives and a key to healthy relationships and learning how to speak up for what we want. This show is filled with tools and tips to help you to start better taking care of yourself, learning how to set a simple request and teaching other people how to treat you.

 

“When I hear people say ‘It’s not important that I speak up for myself,’ or ‘I don’t need to set a boundary,’ I hear ‘I’m not that important.’” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“A boundary is letting another person know what is ok with you and what is not ok with you.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“If you don’t know who you are, what in the world are you defending or setting a boundary against?” - Michelle Chalfant

“Get crystal clear with your wants, your needs and your desires and speak them.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

Episode #212: Boundaries Crash Course

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/212/

Episode #193: Boundaries in Relationships with Nedra Glover Tawwab

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/193/

Episode #184: Boundaries, Empowerment and Finding Truth

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/184/

Episode #174: Building Self-Esteem

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/174-building-self-esteem/

Episode #173: Am I in a Toxic Relationship?

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/173-am-i-in-a-toxic-relationship/

Episode #160: Boundaries and Defenses

https://theadultchair.com/podcast/160

Episode #80: How Do I Feel My Emotions?

https://theadultchair.com/podcast/80

Episode #26: Boundaries vs. Confrontation

https://theadultchair.com/podcast/26 

Self Series

theadultchair.com/self

Care/Of

https://takecareof.com/

Use code ADULT50 for 50% off your first order

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Jul 30, 2020
220: Summer Series: Childhood Wounding in the Enneagram with Ramona Reid
47:07

By nature, all of us have the Child, Adolescent and Adult parts of ourselves...but these parts can look very different depending on our personality and life experience. Through the lens of the Enneagram, we can understand more about our personality and the ways we show up in stress and in health, and in this episode, Enneagram coach Ramona Reid breaks down how the wounds we received as a child affect our personality later in life.

Our Enneagram type is often influenced by the message we did not hear as a child, and we form a personality or mask to make up for that wound. This might look like trying to be good and perfect, getting big and strong or trying to keep the peace with everyone around us, but it’s always an ego response. Ramona does a beautiful job tying the Enneagram into The Adult Chair model and helping each of us understand what our Child, Adolescent and Adult might look like based on our type.

 

Listen to discover:

  • The three Enneagram centers and the nine types
  • The message each type didn’t receive as a child and the wounding each type carries
  • The mask each type creates to cover that wounding
  • What the core essence (healthy Adult) looks like for each type
  • How to recognize our triggers and move towards presence

 

This show was as cool as it was informative! Even if you have never heard of the Enneagram, you will benefit from listening as it will deepen your understanding of your wounding and how you are showing up in the world.

If you want to listen to the other shows that Ramona has been on to deepen your understanding of the Enneagram, see the show notes below. They are all brilliant shows!

 

“The point is not to never be triggered again. It’s to understand that triggers are human and they’re mine...I want to learn how to encounter them with more accountability and integrity and love for myself and my inner child.” - Ramona Reid

 

“Everyone’s just sort of doing the best they can, and then we internalize that. When we’re little, we think, ‘This is about me,’ and we create separation from our essence.” - Ramona Reid

 

“As children, we are sponges and absorb everything around us...and it becomes ours. It’s why you’ve got to observe everything and pay attention to what’s going on inside of you.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“The work from my perspective is getting in touch with what’s actually going on. Notice where our minds are going, where our hearts are going, out of presence...when we’re able to be present, that’s when our core essential qualities will show up.” - Ramona Reid

 

Resources

Ramona Reid Website

http://www.mynashvillecenter.com

Ramona Reid Radio Show

http://www.holisticrevolution.com

Episode #51: Find Your Authentic Self in the Heart of Your Enneagram

https://theadultchair.com/podcast/51

Episode #114: Deepening The Adult Chair Using the Wisdom of the Enneagram

https://theadultchair.com/podcast/114

Episode #205: Stress and Your Enneagram Type

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/205/

Book: Sacred Enneagram - Christopher L. Heuertz

https://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Enneagram-Finding-Unique-Spiritual/dp/0310348277/

The Adult Chair Membership - Free Month of July!

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

Use code FREEMEMBER

Inner Child Resource

https://theadultchair.com/innerchild/

Self Series

theadultchair.com/self

The Adult Chair Workshop - New York

https://theadultchair.com/new-york/

The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/charleston/

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Jul 23, 2020
219: Summer Series: Building Self-Esteem
27:42

We can never have enough self-esteem. So many of us didn’t have healthy self-esteem role models growing up, so we are embarking on this journey now. The good news is that it’s never too late to learn to love yourself...and it’s a life-long journey, so you will have plenty of people along the path with you!

Using The Adult Chair, building healthy self-esteem is not only possible, but it can also happen quickly. In this episode, I’m giving you practical steps for changing how you view and speak to yourself and easy practices you can use to build self-esteem every day.

 

Listen to discover:

  • Self-discovery questions you can ask yourself to see how healthy your self-esteem is
  • Why creating a practice of building self-esteem is so important
  • The four steps to building self-esteem
  • How to control your thoughts and shift your self-talk
  • How to work with your parts and bust the stories that keep you from loving yourself

 

I will always be working on my self-esteem because I believe it’s something we can always have more of! With the help of The Adult Chair model, we can live our lives to the fullest and create happiness we never thought possible. Enjoy your journey of building up your new sense of self and empowerment in your Adult Chair!

 

“Our thoughts drive our emotions up or down. We need to raise our awareness to our thoughts and watch what’s coming in and out of our mouths or in and out of our brains.”- Michelle Chalfant

 

“These parts are not blocking our progress. They simply want and need our attention.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“If the story you’re telling yourself makes you miserable...you have the power to change it.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

5 -Minute Self-Love Meditation

https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/5-minute-self-love-meditation/

Episode #84: Raising Self-Esteem

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/84-raising-self-esteem/

The Adult Chair Workshop - New York

https://theadultchair.com/new-york/

The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/charleston/

The Adult Chair Membership - Free Month of July!

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

Use code FREEMEMBER

Self Series

theadultchair.com/self

Green Chef

https://www.greenchef.com/adult80

$80 off your first month + free shipping

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Jul 16, 2020
218: Summer Series: I’m in a Relationship with a Narcissist
45:25

Relationships with narcissists are insidious. They begin one way, and over time, very slowly and covertly, they change and become poisonous.

We wake up one day and wonder what we did wrong and how we got here. We blame ourselves and can even feel embarrassed to tell others.

In today’s very vulnerable show, Tracy shares her story of being married to a narcissist, how his toxic behaviors subtly increased over time and how it affected her sense of self. After marrying who she thought was a wonderful man, her life drastically changed and she began doubting herself. She fell into a depression, lived with anxiety and lost her sense of who she was.

Tracy walks us through her story of waking up to the abuse and getting out of the relationship. We offer advice for others who are in these types of relationships, including what you can do and how to begin to build yourself back up and find your true self again.

 

Listen to discover:

  • How quickly relationships with a narcissist can shift and how confusing they can be
  • Why subtle abuse is so easy to miss
  • How narcissists whittle down self-esteem and create self-doubt
  • Steps you can take to protect yourself or leave if needed
  • How refinding yourself after a difficult relationship can be fun and exciting
  • The importance of community and friends who can give you a reality check when you’re feeling self-doubt

 

“You think, ‘I don’t have negative feelings about myself,’ but something in my body was telling me I wasn’t good.” - Tracy

 

“I saw what his father was doing to him, but I didn’t see what he was doing to me.” - Tracy

 

“He chopped away your belief in yourself, the self-love you had, your self-worth.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“You deserve to be happy. You are a good person. If you feel good about what you’re doing and you’re confident in who you are, be aware of that and remind yourself of that and step out of the picture for a while.” - Tracy

 

Resources

5 -Minute Self-Love Meditation

https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/5-minute-self-love-meditation/

Episode #84: Raising Self-Esteem

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/84-raising-self-esteem/

Episode #173: Am I in a Toxic Relationship?

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/173-am-i-in-a-toxic-relationship/

Episode #174: Building Self-Esteem

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/174-building-self-esteem/

The Adult Chair Workshop - New York

https://theadultchair.com/new-york/

The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/charleston/

The Adult Chair Membership - Free Month of July!

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

Use code FREEMEMBER

The Self Series

theadultchair.com/self 

BOMBAS

https://bombas.com/adult

20% off your first order

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Jul 09, 2020
217: Summer Series: Attachment and Relationships with Silvy Khoucasian
43:33

We all have different ways that we connect and bond with others, and in psychology, we call this “attachment style.” For example, some of us are anxious in our bonds, always making sure the relationship is ok. Others of us pull away when we feel we are getting too close with someone else. Our attachment style is HIGHLY influenced by our childhood and how we bonded with our caregivers growing up, and it’s so important to understanding how we interact in our adult relationships!

In this episode, I interview the incredible Silvy Khoucasian, a relationship coach and attachment style expert, about the different attachment styles and how we bond in relationships. Understanding your attachment style can be one of the most helpful tools for understanding how you show up in relationships and seeing the patterns that you might otherwise be tempted to blame on your partner.

 

Listen to discover:

  • What attachment theory is and why it matters
  • The four attachment styles
  • How the different attachment styles interact with each other
  • How your attachment style creates patterns in your relationships today
  • How to set boundaries for each attachment style
  • Repairing shame and moving forward in relationships

 

It was such a joy having Silvy on the show as she breaks down attachment theory in a simple, easy-to-understand way. As Silvy reminds us, our attachment style is not our fault, and it’s important to be gentle with ourselves as we learn and heal these patterns. Everyone is deserving of love and capable of having secure, healthy relationships no matter their attachment style but it’s up to us to do the work! I hope this episode helps you on your journey towards healthier relationships.

 

“Along that journey, it’s important to start reflecting on, ‘What are some ways I can start to bring healthier behaviors into the picture?’ or at least, ‘How can I communicate the tendencies that push people away or block connection?’” - Silvy Khoucasian

 

“It doesn’t matter who we pair with as long as both people are willing to see their unhealthy behaviors...it takes both people being really honest about those things.” - Silvy Khoucasian

 

“Starting to pay attention to whether our boundaries are serving us or if they’re actually getting in the way of the kinds of relationships we want can be really helpful and can be paired with certain attachment styles really well.” - Silvy Khoucasian

 

“As you do the thing that’s going to help you heal it, it’s going to be uncomfortable.” - Silvy Khoucasian

 

“You have to know yourself, then you have to be able to tell your partner who you are and what you need. We react instead of expressing, ‘Hey, this is what I need.’” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

Silvy Khoucasian on Instagram

@SilvyKhoucasian

Boundaries Offering

https://bryanreves.com/boundaries-silvy/

The Adult Chair Workshop - New York

https://theadultchair.com/new-york/

The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/charleston/

The Adult Chair Membership - Free Month of July!

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

Use code FREEMEMBER

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Jul 02, 2020
216: Navigating 2020 from your Adult
38:36

As we reach the last week of June and find ourselves halfway through 2020, I’m having a hard time finding words for this year. It has felt like a year of nonstop chaos, with so many challenges at the global and personal level. We are all feeling triggered everywhere we turn and overwhelmed by a range of emotions.

You might be wondering if it’s even possible to live from your healthy Adult Chair during times like these, and I’m here to tell you that it IS possible. These are the times when we need The Adult Chair the most. It is when our healthiest selves are challenged that we truly develop the skills and practices that keep us in peace and balance regardless of outside circumstances.

In this episode, I give you tons of practical tips to help you navigate times of chaos from your Adult Chair. This includes how to tell when you’ve slipped into the Adolescent, how to get back into your Adult and how I’m using The Adult Chair model to get through 2020.

 

Listen to discover:

  • The key signs that you’re in the Adolescent Chair
  • How to get into your Adult Chair
  • What anxiety is and how to clear the mind when it’s running constantly
  • How to feel emotions, clear your energy and stay grounded
  • What triggers are and how they can be helpful
  • Practical tips to get through hard times from a healthy place

 

When I say The Adult Chair model is here to help you live a life of balance no matter what is going on in the world (or your life), I mean it! It’s not just a zen state that you can find when all is good. It’s a practical model to help you get through even the most chaotic of times. I know it is helping me!

I really believe that we are in a season of transformation right now. Our world is changing, and it’s bringing us along with it. And while transformation is always painful, we are uncovering truths that have been hidden for far too long and making progress that is long overdue. Through The Adult Chair model, not only can you stay balanced during stressful times, but you can also step into your own journey of transformation and join the world as it changes for the better.

 

“When we’re faced with fear, we have a tendency to slide out of the Adult Chair, the seat of the authentic part of who we are, and we get pulled by our ego into our Adolescent Chair. This is the seat of unconsciousness.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“We want to make sure we’re living in this place [of presence] before we step out into the world or make a statement.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

"Anxiety is the physical manifestation of unfelt emotions." - Michelle Chalfant

 

“I can’t expect the world to change to make me feel better. [I have] to change and make [myself] feel better, and I say the same thing to you.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

The Adult Chair Workshop - New York

https://theadultchair.com/new-york/

The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/charleston/

Insight Timer

https://insighttimer.com/

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Jun 25, 2020
215: From Hopelessness to Healing with Ruthie Lindsey
55:20

As humans, we all want to avoid pain and suffering...but what if pain can be a gateway to our healing? What if experiencing sadness actually increases our ability to feel joy?

In this episode, I’m chatting with the incredible Ruthie Lindsey as she shares her journey through tragedy and chronic pain to hope and healing. After being nearly killed in a car accident in high school, Ruthie experienced chronic physical pain as a result of a spinal cord injury while also walking through the death of her father and other personal tragedies. It would have been easy to simply numb out to survive, but Ruthie made the conscious choice to seek goodness and beauty despite the pain, and in doing so, opened up a world of hope and healing. 

 

Listen to discover:

  • Ruthie’s journey from numbing her pain to learning to live fully in spite of pain
  • Why the mind/body connection is so important
  • The connection between physical healing and emotional healing
  • The importance of inner child work in unlearning destructive stories and beliefs
  • Ruthie’s journey of coming home to Self and waking up to consciousness and how you can go on this journey for yourself 

 

We all have a choice to either numb our pain or to live fully and lean into healing. As Ruthie shares her story, I know you will be inspired and enlightened on what it truly means to heal, and I hope she will be a mirror of love and hope to all who are on their own journeys of healing.

 

"When you numb the hard and painful things, you numb everything. You can't pick and choose." - Ruthie Lindsey

 

"I feel like for me, so much of my healing work has been this unlearning, has been this remembering, has been this unwinding of the stories that we learn from the culture and patriarchy and church and family telling us these things about ourselves and that who we are is what we do." - Ruthie Lindsey

 

"You can't [heal] for someone else. Only you can do that for you. But when we do that, we can go out and be mirrors of love, hope and healing and divinity that's within everyone." - Ruthie Lindsey

 

"We're handed down these beliefs about who we are without discernment." - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

Ruthie Lindsey Website

http://www.ruthielindsey.com/

Ruthie Lindsey Book

https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/198210791X

Ruthie Lindsey Instagram

http://instagram.com/ruthielindsey

Ruthie Lindsey Facebook 

https://www.facebook.com/ruthielindseyspeaker

Ruthie Lindsey Twitter

https://twitter.com/lindseyruthie

Onsite

https://www.onsiteworkshops.com/

The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville

https://theadultchair.com/nashville/

 

More Adult Chair 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop - New York and Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Jun 18, 2020
214: Change Your Mind with Marisa Peer
01:04:29

Why do you do what you do?

That question is probably more difficult to answer than most of us think...not only because we often don’t know ourselves well, but also because the majority of our behaviors and actions come from programming in the unconscious mind. Sometimes, this programming happened when we were so young that we can’t even recall it; in fact, most of our beliefs form before the age of five!

But the good news is that no matter our programming, we CAN change our minds, rewire our thoughts and beliefs, and as a result, transform the way we act and live.

In this episode, I interview the brilliant Marisa Peer, a therapist, behavioral specialist, author and speaker who helps people completely transform their lives by changing their minds. The founder of Rapid Transformational Therapy, an innovative method rooted in hypnotism, Marisa helps clients uncover their unconscious beliefs and transform them at the source.

Marisa is an expert on the inner workings of the mind, and she walks us through the process for coding in new healthy beliefs and breaking unhealthy patterns. She also shares really practical and simple ways we can begin to change our mind, even without therapy or hypnotism.

 

Listen to discover:

  • How the mind works and how limiting beliefs are formed, even without us knowing it’s happening
  • Why and how we can literally change our minds
  • The four-step process of shifting beliefs: investigating, interpreting, interrupting and installing new ones
  • The three root causes of depression and how to transform it
  • The power of our words and how to use language that transforms the mind (it needs to be practical, present and repeatable)
  • Why the phrase “I am enough” is the KEY to transforming just about anything in your life

 

This episode is so RICH with content that I can’t even begin to summarize it here...you just have to listen! Marisa also leaves us with some beautiful information about her international “I am enough” movement, so you can take what you learn and put it into action right away.

 

“If you unconsciously created it, you can consciously let go of it.” - Marisa Peer

 

“The mind doesn’t have a choice to act on the words you say, but you have a choice to say better words.” - Marisa Peer

 

“How you feel about anything comes down to the picture you make in your head and the words that you construct.” - Marisa Peer

 

“When you hurt a child or don’t meet their needs, they don’t stop loving you they stop loving themselves.”  - Marisa Peer

 

“The common denominator of all our issues stems from ‘I’m not enough.” - Marisa Peer

 

Resources

Marisa Peer Website (free resources)

https://marisapeer.com/

Rapid Transformational Therapy (for therapists)

https://rtt.com/

I Am Enough (course)

https://iamenough.com/

Marisa Peer Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/marisapeertherapy/

Marisa Peer YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGb0bBp7bTQBHLlyAfNV-Fg

Marisa Peer Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/marisa.peer.therapy/

Marisa Peer Twitter

https://twitter.com/marisapeer

The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville

https://theadultchair.com/nashville/

The Adult Chair Membership (June Theme: Self-Worth)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

The Adult Chair Workshop - New York and Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Jun 11, 2020
213: Walking Through Fear with Michelle Poler
46:24

With everything going on the world the last few months, fear has been on all of our minds recently. Though this fear is very real, it’s also related to events happening outside of ourselves...events we can’t fully control.

But we also all have deeper emotional fears that aren’t related to what is going on in the world and are more constant: fear of vulnerability, fear of rejection, fear of being trapped, etc. They come from inside us, and they hold us back from living the life we really want to live.

What if you could train yourself to face your fears and become more than you ever thought possible in life? 

Today’s guest, Michelle Poler, asked herself that same question and embarked on a life-changing experiment where she faced a new fear every day for 100 days. Her project went viral, and she now travels the world speaking and writing about how to walk through fear and tap into your fullest potential. 

In this episode, she shares her incredible journey, what she learned through her experiment and her tips for overcoming fear in everyday life.

 

Listen to discover:

  • Why our fears limit us and keep us from becoming who we’re meant to be
  • How to practice courage and build confidence
  • How to face the unknown and embrace change
  • Reframing failure and choosing to see opportunity instead
  • Finding the best, even in the worst-case scenario

 

When we feel fear in our bodies, most of us take that as a sign to stop what we’re doing or run in the other direction. But when we push through that fear, we discover a world of potential, dreams and opportunities. 

Michelle’s story and perspective on life is SO inspiring, and I know you will walk away from this episode with fresh energy to say “no” to fear and “yes” to life!

 

“When you radically accept what’s happening, you open new doors.” - Michelle Poler

“Don’t ask yourself, ‘What’s the worst thing that could happen?’ Ask yourself ‘What’s the best thing that could happen?’” - Michelle Poler

“The real enemy of success is not failure; it’s comfort.” - Michelle Poler

 

Resources

Michelle Poler Website

https://www.michellepoler.com/

Michelle Poler Instagram

http://instagram.com/hellofears

Michelle Poler Book

https://www.amazon.com/Hello-Fears-Crush-Comfort-Become/dp/1492688894

The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville

https://theadultchair.com/nashville/

The Adult Chair Membership (June Theme: Self-Worth)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

Care/Of

https://takecareof.com/

50% off with code ADULT50

 

More Adult Chair 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville, New York and Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Jun 04, 2020
212: Boundaries Crash Course
25:37

Boundaries are one of those things that I think we can never talk too much about! Though this is a simple topic, boundaries are difficult for most of us — but they’re completely life-changing when we learn to practice them well.

So, it’s time to talk about boundaries again, and in this episode, I’m giving you a boundaries crash course! If you’ve been listening for a while, this will be a great refresher on the topic of boundaries…and if you’re brand new to the show, this is the perfect place to start in learning this critical skill.

A boundary is simply teaching others how to treat us. Setting them can feel scary at first, but it’s our job to care for ourselves by honoring our boundaries. Otherwise, we are betraying ourselves and putting the beliefs and values of others before ours…and that never leads to peace and happiness in life.

 

Listen to discover:

  • The first step to knowing your boundaries
  • How to communicate “bullet point” boundaries
  • How to get more comfortable with boundaries as a codependent and how to distinguish weak boundaries from loving action
  • When to speak up and when to remove yourself (both a version of boundaries)
  • Why we can’t expect others to know our boundaries

 

Remember, a boundary can be as simple as “I feel _____ when you do _____.” This is a great formula for getting started with boundaries!

Most of us didn't have health boundaries modeled growing up, and most of us struggle with setting them. Give yourself some grace! This is not about beating yourself up but about practicing boundaries until they get easier with time — and you get healthier as a result.

 

“Before setting a boundary, you have to know who you are and what your beliefs, values, morals and needs are.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“A boundary may have no words. It may be removing yourself.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

A Guided Meditation for Setting Boundaries

https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/a-guided-meditation-for-setting-boundaries/

Episode #184: Boundaries, Empowerment and Finding Truth

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/184/

Episode #175: Setting Healthy Boundaries

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/175-setting-healthy-boundaries/

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville, New York and Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

May 28, 2020
211: Empaths and Highly Sensitive Persons with Dr. Judith Orloff
33:49

“Empath” is one of those words that has become a buzzword over the last few years, and it has us empaths who have felt different our whole lives yelling, “Finally!”

At last, the world is beginning to understand that certain people are wired in a way that makes them highly in tune with their environment and the emotions around them. Where empaths might have been called too sensitive in the past, we’re now acknowledging the unique gifts that empaths bring to the table — from having huge amounts of empathy to deeply caring for others.

But being an empath also comes with its own unique set of challenges. Because we’re so affected by what is going on around us, we can often find ourselves overwhelmed, exhausted or just feeling “off.” Self-care is SO critical for empaths to stay healthy and centered.

In this episode, I’m interviewing the incredible Dr. Judith Orloff, a brilliant psychiatrist and healer, who has written a number of books on how to survive and thrive as an empath. She shares a wealth of wisdom on how to know if you’re an empath, common traps empaths fall into and practical tips to live empowered as an empath.

 

Listen to discover:

  • Why empaths often have a hard time blocking out the world around them
  • Why empaths are often drawn to relationships with narcissists
  • Avoiding the addiction and anger trap (often a side effect of overwhelm)
  • The side effects of chronic sensory overload and how to recognize them
  • Practical tips for self-care and getting back into balance as an empath

If you’ve felt different, sensitive or intuitive your whole life, I think this episode will really resonate with you. Empaths are kind, loving, beautiful individuals who can truly thrive when we learn to be just as kind and loving to ourselves.

 

“Empaths don’t have the same kind of filters that other people have in terms of emotional or physical filters, so when something intense is going on in the world or your life, you may have a tendency to be overwhelmed by this.” - Dr. Judith Orloff

 

“Many empaths are having problems during this time because they’re not embodied anymore. They’re in their minds and they’re in panic, fear and suffering is in the mind. So if you bring it back to the body and heart, which is healing energy, you can recalibrate yourself.” - Dr. Judith Orloff

 

“An empowered empath is someone who can stay centered and loving without absorbing all the energy.” - Dr. Judith Orloff

 

Resources

 Judith Orloff Website

https://drjudithorloff.com/

 Judith Orloff Book: “The Empath’s Survival Guide”

https://www.amazon.com/Empaths-Survival-Guide-Strategies-Sensitive

Judith Orloff Book: “Thriving As An Empath”

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1683642910

Judith Orloff Empath Support Facebook Group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/929510143757438/

 

Inner Child Resource

https://theadultchair.com/innerchild/ 

Empath Meditation for Cleansing and Clearing Your Energy

https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/empath-meditation-for-cleansing-and-clearing-your-energy/

 

More Adult Chair 

The Adult Chair Website

https://theadultchair.com 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville, New York and Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

 

May 21, 2020
210: Improving and Deepening the Connection with Your Partner
28:33

Most of us long for deeply connected relationships it’s a core part of our wiring as humans! But even when we’re in a relationship, many of us don’t know how to create the connection we crave. We might spend time with those we love, talk frequently and even get along with each other easily, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we know how to really let ourselves be known and how to really see and hear each other.

In today’s episode, I want to give you some practices and tips you can use to more deeply connect with your partner or really any significant person in your life. Real intimacy happens when we learn to share our reality and inner world, ask for what we need and stop trying to fix ourselves or our partners. I’m sharing some of the habits my husband and I use to stay connected in our marriage, some of the road blocks all couples run up against and how healing your own wounding can help you become stronger in relationships.

 

Listen to discover:

  • How sharing your inner world changes your relationship (and how to make this a habit)
  • The art of active listening and mirroring
  • Cultivating safety and making each other feel seen and heard
  • How your childhood wounding affects your relationships as an adult
  • Why triggers in a relationship can be a gift
  • Effective communication and the importance of weekly check-ins

 

There is magic when we learn to really communicate with our partners and let ourselves be fully known and fully loved. I hope the practical tools in this episode help you start building rituals of connection into your life today and every day!

 

“Your childhood wounding and your partner’s childhood wounding are magnetic...They are here to help you to see it, feel it, know it and heal it.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Don’t go into stories about what you think your partner is doing and why they’re doing it. You really want to spend time asking questions and sharing your reality.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“When you’re sharing and being witnessed, you’re having the experience of being seen and heard.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

Episode #146: Healthy Relationships https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/146-healthy-relationships/

14 Days To Peace & Balance Journaling Prompts

https://theadultchair.com/14days

Cultivating Inner Peace Meditation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PKAxhVgOu0

 

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Workshop - New York

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

May 14, 2020
209: Domestic Abuse - A Child’s Experience
58:34

As we discuss the rise of domestic abuse during the COVID-19 crisis and the pervasiveness of this issue around the world, I wanted to shed some light on another group of survivors: the children of domestic abuse.

Whether a child is directly abused or witnesses the abuse of their father or mother, abuse during childhood can have lasting traumatic effects and shape our view of relationships and the self in unhealthy ways.

On today’s episode, we have another brave and beautiful woman, MaryBeth, who has agreed to share her story of growing up in an abusive household. She regularly witnessed her father verbally, physically, emotionally and spiritually abusing her mother while also verbally and spiritually abusing her and her siblings. She shares the way that growing up in that environment impacted her life, even as an adult, as well as her hopeful journey of healing and transformation.

Many adults in abusive relationships cite the children as the reason they stay together. I hope hearing MaryBeth’s experience as a child witnessing domestic abuse will offer a new perspective and bring awareness to the way abuse affects families for generations.

 

In this episode, MaryBeth shares:

  • Her powerful story of witnessing and experiencing abuse for most of her childhood, adolescence and young adulthood
  • The impacts of abuse on her life and her journey of healing
  • The way children take abuse on and can personally feel at fault
  • How childhood abuse can skew a child's sense of what’s normal in relationships
  • Spiritual abuse and the role religion can play in abuse
  • How to break the lineage of abuse
  • The importance of grace and forgiveness for yourself and others

 

I know you will be so encouraged by MaryBeth's courageous journey of healing, how Adult Chair work has played an instrumental role in her transformation and her arrival at a place of hope and forgiveness. Her story is such an inspirational reminder that we CAN heal, one step at a time, and that there is power in telling our stories, seeing and speaking the truth and offering grace to ourselves and even those who hurt us.

If you are in an abusive situation right now, remember that your children are soaking in everything they are seeing. This becomes their model of relationship; we're teaching them what's normal. For those staying for the kids, please consider getting out for the kids.

If you are recovering from an abusive childhood, know that healing is possible. There are dozens of resources on The Adult Chair website, including podcasts, meditations, courses and more that can help you in your journey of healing.

If you are in danger, please tell someone. 

The Adult Chair community (closed Facebook group linked below) is always here for emotional support.

 

If you need help, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline:

https://www.thehotline.org/

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Deaf or hard of hearing, use TTY 1-800-787-3224

If unable to speak, text LOVEIS to 22522

 

If you are in an emergency situation, please call 911.

 

"It's like you're in a warzone, and you're always looking at your back. We were always trying to prevent, anticipate what he might be upset about. But it didn't matter. It was never good enough." - MaryBeth, childhood domestic abuse survivor

 

"I didn't even know I was a child of abuse. Why would anything be wrong, because I was the one who was wrong. I was the one that was the mistake. I was the one causing his frustration."  - MaryBeth, childhood domestic abuse survivor

 

"You break that lineage of abuse when you speak up and say, 'No, I'm done!'" - Michelle Chalfant

 

"If you're in a domestic abuse situation, your children are growing up thinking, 'This is normal.'" - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

National Domestic Violence Hotline

https://www.thehotline.org/help/ 

Inner Child Resource

https://theadultchair.com/innerchild/ 

The Adult Chair Private Facebook Group (safe place to connect, get emotional support and share your story) 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

The Adult Chair

https://theadultchair.com 

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

 

May 07, 2020
208: Triumph Over Abuse - An Interview With Survivors
01:19:12

Studies show that since the start of the COVID-19 quarantine, domestic abuse is up by 30 to 40 percent worldwide. Abusers are using the global crisis to increase their sense of power and control, and women are trapped at home with abusive partners, making them more vulnerable to frequent abuse. This is something that enrages me and that I’m so passionate about shedding light on.

Domestic abuse isn’t just a quarantine issue. Far too many women (and men) suffer abuse from their partners daily, and I felt compelled to do something to bring awareness to this topic. I reached out to our Adult Chair community and asked if any survivors would be willing to share their stories of abuse and triumph and in this episode, I am interviewing two incredibly brave and strong women who are sharing how they escaped and rebuilt their lives after abuse.

 

In this episode, the women share:

  • Their stories of abuse and the insidious pattern of how their abusers slowly whittled down their self-esteem
  • How verbal abuse can turn into physical abuse
  • Their turning point, when they realized it was time to leave
  • How they left, even without a place to go (it IS possible, and there is help for you!)
  • The triumph and increased sense of self after they escaped
  • Advice for others currently trapped in abusive relationships

 

This episode is powerful, raw and real, and I’m incredibly grateful to these women for sharing their very important stories.

The thing about abuse is that it puts you in a fog where all your energy is going towards survival. Each woman I interviewed shared about her “turning point” moment where she moved from being on the defense into a place of being on the offense, shifting from just trying to survive to consciously figuring out how to get out. 

I can’t imagine being quarantined with an abuser, but I pray this will be a turning point for many. I hope this episode shows you you’re not alone and gives you the hope and encouragement you need to know that you CAN leave and you can find a beautiful, empowered, triumphant life after abuse.

If you are in danger, please tell someone. 

The Adult Chair community (closed Facebook group linked below) is always here for emotional support.

 

If you need help, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline:

https://www.thehotline.org/

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Deaf or hard of hearing, use TTY 1-800-787-3224

If unable to speak, text LOVEIS to 22522

 

If you are in an emergency situation, please call 911.

 

“I stopped at a payphone at a convenience store a block away from the police station. I called the police, it’s almost midnight, and I told them ‘I can’t go home.’” - Kathleen, domestic abuse survivor

 

“I didn’t have anything, but I had the determination to get out of it.” - Lea, domestic abuse survivor

 

“I would look in the mirror, and being a faith-based person, I would say to myself ‘God did not have you be born for this.’” - Kathleen

 

“There are others out there not only that have walked in those shoes, but are willing to help you reach those resources.” - Lea

 

“Pay attention to how your partner makes you feel. If it feels bad, pay attention...if someone’s making you feel less than or talking down to you, it’s not ok.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

National Domestic Violence Hotline

https://www.thehotline.org/help/ 

A Guided Meditation on Worthiness

https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/a-guided-meditation-on-worthiness/

Episode #139 Cultivate Self-Worth

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/139-cultivate-self-worth/

 

The Adult Chair Private Facebook Group (safe place to connect, get emotional support and share your story) 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

The Adult Chair

https://theadultchair.com 

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

 

Apr 30, 2020
207: The Narcissism and Codependency Connection with Ross Rosenberg
01:04:47

Today, we’re talking about two of our listeners’ favorite topics narcissism and codependency. I’ve discussed these topics individually on the show before, but in reality, they are deeply connected with each other. And I’m honored to welcome back to the show Ross Rosenberg, a psychotherapist and leading expert on codependency, narcissism, trauma and addiction, on the show to help us understand the connection between these two traits and how to break the cycle.

Ross explains the “dance” of codependency and narcissism, exploring how codependency often forms from narcissistic abuse in childhood and why codependents and narcissists are like magnets for each other. We tend to be attracted to what feels familiar to us, which is why codependents often experience intense chemistry with a narcissistic partner until the “soulmate” becomes the “cellmate.” It’s not until we learn to fill our own self-love deficit that we can break the cycle of abuse and start forming relationships with partners who love and respect our whole selves.

 

Listen to discover:

  • Why narcissism and codependency go hand in hand
  • Attachment wounds and the origins of codependency
  • Why codependency is really a self-love deficit
  • The different types of narcissism
  • Gaslighting and the distortion of our reality (the greatest tool of the narcissist)
  • Setting boundaries with a narcissist (and why it often doesn’t work)
  • Narcissists and codependents in quarantine: the three most important tools we have to make it through

 

This was SUCH a great episode that will help you understand the “why” behind narcissism and codependency while also giving you practical tips for taking care of yourself in a relationship with a narcissist and rebuilding the self once the relationship ends.

 

“The child intuitively knows that the world’s not safe, and they somehow have to adapt to it or mold themselves to it so they are the type of child that engenders being cared for.” - Ross Rosenberg

 

“How you mold yourself [as a child] ends up being how you’re going to be as an adult in relationships.” - Ross Rosenberg

 

Other Episodes with Ross

#54: Narcissism, Codependence and the Self-Love Deficit:

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/54-narcissism-codependence-and-the-self-love-deficit-with-ross-rosenberg/

 

Resources

Ross Rosenberg Website

http://selfloverecovery.com/

Ross Rosenberg YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/rossrosenberg

Ross Rosenberg Book: The Human Magnet Syndrome”

https://www.amazon.com/Human-Magnet-Syndrome-Love-People/dp/1936128314

Video: When You Unmask a Covert Narcissist, RUN, But Quietly!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3an9crV9feM

Video: Boundaries Don’t Work with Narcissists!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iF9hDRhx_hU

Ross Rosenberg Event at The Art of Living September 2020

https://www.artofliving.org/

14 Days To Peace & Balance Journaling Prompts

https://theadultchair.com/14days

 

The Adult Chair

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Workshop - New York

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Apr 23, 2020
206: 5 Steps to Peace
21:33

For the first time in history, the entire world is sharing the same fears and the same hopes. With so much chaos all around us and with everyone’s life impacted by this virus and the quarantine, is it really possible to find peace?

I believe you can find peace no matter where you are in life, and I believe that because I have lived it! I spent the first part of my life living with anxiety and depression every day, and now I wake up most days in a state of peace...one that I would have never thought possible during my days of anxiety.

And while there isn’t a magic pill to find peace, the good news is that we have a choice and can take small steps every day to live in greater peace. Today, I want to share my step-by-step guide to cultivating peace with you the exact practices I use to stay in peace in my life. These steps are practical, quick and easy to practice, but they make ALL the difference.

 

Listen to discover:

  • How the ego responds to emotions (and why that creates problems for us!)
  • How our stories and assumptions get us out of balance
  • How to honor and truly feel your emotions
  • Why you are the only one who can take care of you
  • The five steps you can do today to find greater peace

 

Here are the five steps I share in the episode. Listen to find out exactly how to practice these, starting today!

  1. Slow down
  2. Put your feet on the floor and ground
  3. Breathe (slowly)
  4. Check in with yourself (body and emotions)
  5. Journal to process what you are feeling

 

Happiness is fleeting, but peace is a state of being that we can choose and sustain. This quarantine is an opportunity for healing and transformation, but we have to take care of ourselves. I hope these five steps give you the tools you need to stay in peace and balance in any season of life.

 

“One of the things that we do when we have an emotion that’s rising up inside of us is we speed up. Because what’s happening is the ego is trying to solve the “problem,” which is the emotion that we’re having.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“When we sit in our healthy Adult Chair, we know emotions are not a bad thing. They are a beautiful gift.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources

The Adult Chair

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Workshop - New York

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Apr 16, 2020
205: Stress and your Enneagram Type with Ramona Reid
42:24

The world is experiencing a time of high stress and universal confusion like most of us have never experienced in our lifetimes. We are all walking through a collective trauma together. But just because an experience is common, it does not mean we all respond to it in the same way.

Each of us is wired uniquely, and every personality type experiences stress and anxiety differently. The Enneagram is such a powerful tool for understanding ourselves and our personalities, and it gives us incredible insights into how we are each processing the stress of COVID-19.

In today’s episode, I talk with my friend and holistic Enneagram coach, Ramona Reid, to discover the various ways each Enneagram type might be processing stress. From wanting to fix the situation or help others to feelings of isolation and fear, it’s so important to understand how you respond to stress so you can recognize it and get back into balance.

 

Listen to discover:

  • What stress looks like for each Enneagram type
  • How to cope and find balance based on your unique stress response
  • How to find your “peace point”
  • Tools for your type to help you manage stress and fear

 

The Enneagram is not a box but rather a tool for self-discovery that reveals our strengths, weaknesses, fears and desires so that we can grow beyond our type. Understanding how you are responding to stress right now will give you more compassion for yourself and others as we all walk through a very different, yet shared global experience.

 

“This is the opportunity to see ourselves either show up and use our tools and be present and healthy or show up and manage fear in the ways we’ve learned through our coping mechanisms.” - Ramona Reid

 

“Now is not a time to take [the Enneagram] and try to fix ourselves...it’s more an opportunity to see what’s happening from fear.” - Ramona Reid

 

Other Episodes With Ramona

#51: Find Your Authentic Self at the Heart of Your Enneagram: https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/51-find-your-authentic-self-at-the-heart-of-your-enneagram/

#114: Deepening the Adult Chair Using the Wisdom of the Enneagram: https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/114-deepening-the-adult-chair-using-the-wisdom-of-the-enneagram-with-ramona-reid/

#176: Childhood Wounding in the Enneagram: https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/176-childhood-wounding-in-the-enneagram/

 

Resources

Ramona Reid Website

http://www.mynashvillecenter.com/

Ramona Reid Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/nashvillecenter/

Ramona Reid Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/nashvillecenterforalternativetherapy

The Adult Chair

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Workshop - New York

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Apr 09, 2020
204: Natural Remedies for Anxiety and Overwhelm with Annie Boerner
32:31

There is no doubt that it’s not an easy time for the nervous system. With the amount of collective and personal fear and stress in our world right now, our minds and bodies have to work extra hard to maintain a state of calm and balance. Fortunately, we’re not on our own! There are SO MANY amazing, simple tools that you can use to make a huge difference in how you feel on a physical, emotional and spiritual level.

In today’s episode, I’m chatting with my friend Annie Boerner, an integrative health practitioner who specializes in calming and balancing the whole person through the nervous system. With a background in neurological therapy, bodywork and other powerful techniques, Annie helps people overcome pain, chronic health problems, PTSD and other stress-related challenges naturally and holistically.

I’m so grateful to have Annie on the show today as she shares some of her favorite tools for natural relief of anxiety, overwhelm and stress. From essential oils to hands-on tools for keeping yourself relaxed and in balance, this is a super practical episode with ideas that you can begin using to feel better TODAY!

 

You will discover:

  • How essential oils interact with the brain to provide nervous system and emotional support
  • The best oils for immune support, anxiety, depression and more
  • Body-based tools for calming the nervous system
  • Stress-relieving practices and sensory resources such as brushing, weighted blankets, nature, music and meditation
  • Grounding techniques for getting in the present moment and calming your energy
  • The importance of fun and movement

 

Though we created this episode in the middle of a global pandemic, the reality is that life is often stressful and challenging, even when the world is not in crisis. The simple, practical and affordable tools Annie offers us really work and can be integrated into our daily routines for greater peace every day. And THAT is some good news worth celebrating!

 

“A dysregulated nervous system is at the root of all disease and dysfunction in the body.” - Annie Boerner

 

Resources

Annie Boerner Website

https://annieboerner.com/

 

Annie Boerner Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/annieboerner/

 

Annie Boerner Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/anniewaugh13/

 

Oils That Annie Recommends

  • OnGuard
  • Lemongrass
  • Adaptiv
  • Wild Orange
  • Frankincense

 

The Adult Chair

https://theadultchair.com

 

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Apr 02, 2020
203: Resilience in Turbulent Times with Linda Graham
56:59

As much as we hate to admit it, difficult times are part of life. Sometimes, they come in the form of trying seasons in our personal lives; other times, the whole world goes through challenges together, facing disasters like famine, tornadoes and disease.

But just like difficulty is part of human history, so is resilience. Each of us has the ability to not only cope with what life throws our way, but to become stronger and thrive as a result. 

It was such a gift to interview Linda Graham, a marriage and family therapist who specializes in helping people cope with life’s challenges and develop a healthy sense of self through them. As I write these notes in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic sweeping the world, I feel it is so important to explore this topic, and I know Linda’s perspective will be so encouraging to many.

In this episode, we’re talking all about resilience, including how it relates to our nervous systems, how we can find peace and balance in the middle of pain, how we can bounce back from trauma and how we can reverse the impact of stress in our lives. We are all called to cultivate this skill through various life experiences, and while it might not be the most fun lesson to learn, the beautiful thing is that practicing resilience cultivates a mindset that empowers us to cope with anything.

 

Listen to this episode to discover:

  • How resilience develops and how to get unstuck from trauma
  • The source of anxiety and depression and how they are connected to the nervous system
  • How to live with realistic optimism, which means facing what’s happening and making wise decisions about what to do next
  • The art of skillful distraction and how to cope with pain in healthy ways
  • Teaching resilience to our kids
  • Navigating grief and practicing gratitude and compassion to build resilience
  • And SO much more!!

 

Linda also shares a number of practical body-based tools that can help us adjust our nervous systems, keep a clear mind and an open heart and face what life throws our way.

I know you will be encouraged by Linda’s reminder that you always have a choice, and you will find hope in the fact that nothing is permanent and we can bounce back stronger than ever.

 

“We go through disappointments and difficulties in our life. We’re called upon to face disaster. A resilience practice gives us tools and a mindset where we can cope with anything at all.” - Linda Graham

 

“The most important thing is to shift from focusing on the stressor to focusing on our own internal response because that is what we can do something about.” - Linda Graham

 

Resources

Linda Graham Website

https://lindagraham-mft.net/

Bouncing Back: Rewiring Your Brain for Maximum Resilience by Linda Graham

https://www.amazon.com/Bouncing-Back-Rewiring-Resilience-Well-Being/dp/1608681297

Resilience: Powerful Practices to Bounce Back from Disappointment, Difficulty and Even Disaster by Linda Graham

https://lindagraham-mft.net/resilience/ 

The New Adolescence by Christine Carter

https://www.amazon.com/New-Adolescence-Raising-Successful-Distraction/dp/1948836548

The Coddling of the American Mind by Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff

https://www.amazon.com/Coddling-American-Mind-Intentions-Generation/dp/0735224897

 

Care/Of  - 50% off your first order

https://takecareof.com/

Promo code: adult50

 

The Adult Chair

https://theadultchair.com 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Mar 26, 2020
202: Turning Tragedy into Triumph with Amberly Lago
52:22

I am so excited about today’s episode both because I’m interviewing someone I deeply admire, the inspiring Amberly Lago, and because this show couldn’t have come at a more divine time with all that’s going on in the world today.

Amberly is someone I would call a “resiliency expert,” and she has a lot to teach us about finding inner strength during challenging times. Amberly has been through so much in her life, but instead of letting it overcome her, she worked through fear and pain and shows us how we can find light even in dark times. She now helps millions of others discover how to persevere and live life to the fullest regardless of circumstances through her writing, speaking, podcasts and workshops.

In this episode, Amberly shares her powerful story of healing from a motorcycle accident and her journey through chronic pain, depression and learning to reclaim power over her life and live with true grit and grace. You can’t help but be inspired by her ability to turn tragedy into triumph and pain into purpose and to realize you have the same choice every day.

 

Listen to discover:

  • How to find strength and hope in times of struggle
  • The power of choosing our thoughts and how positive thinking and gratitude really changes your life
  • The importance of community and why getting vulnerable is a strength and not a weakness
  • Her unique “PACER” process for strengthening resiliency and getting through challenges we face in life

 

Amberly’s book changed my life and has become a touchstone for me when I find myself reaching for hope. I hope that this week’s show inspires you and reminds you that no matter what is going on in your life (or the world), with a little bit of hope and a lot of determination, you can overcome anything!

 

“Once you realize you have a choice, you take your power back.” - Amberly Lago

 

“Getting grateful turns what we can’t do into what we can do, and it turns what we don’t have into what we do have.” - Amberly Lago

 

Resources

Amberly Lago

https://amberlylago.com/

True Grit and Grace (Amberly Lago)

https://amberlylago.com/product/true-grit-and-grace/

Amberly Lago Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/amberlylagomotivation/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

 

Mar 19, 2020
BONUS: Finding Peace and Love Amidst the Chaos
09:27

As we are in the middle of a global pandemic that is causing so much fear and confusion, I wanted to offer you a bonus episode with a free meditation to help you promote relaxation and peace. 

It's such a confusing time right now, and the events of the last few weeks don’t make sense to anyone. Some people are scared, angry, anxious or unsure how to feel. And I understand why. Nothing can prepare us for a global crisis like this.

Even though I don’t understand why all of this is happening, I firmly believe that we are connected to something so much bigger than us, and I cling to the fact that something good is coming from this, even if we can't see it right now. Fear makes us feel disconnected from ourselves and separated from this Love, but it’s always there for us when we slow down and tune in.

This free, five-minute self-love meditation will help you connect to that bigger source of Love and reconnect to yourself so you can find a state of peace and balance (mentally, emotionally and physically) despite what is going on.

Whether you’re listening to this during this time of collective uncertainty or you’re listening at a later date to help you navigate a personal time of fear, I hope this will be a gift to you to help bring hope and healing, even in the middle of hard times.

 

Resources

More Free Meditations

https://theadultchair.com/meditations/

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

Mar 18, 2020
201: Using the Polyvagal Theory to Balance Your Nervous System with Deb Dana
01:00:18

You know the feeling when your nervous system kicks into overdrive. Maybe you freeze in place or your heart starts racing, your body pumping with adrenaline. This automatic response often feels like it overtakes us. But what if you could control and balance your nervous system instead of it controlling you? 

In today’s show, I’m interviewing the incredible Deb Dana, one of the leading experts on the nervous system and the Polyvagal Theory. The Polyvagal Theory offers us cutting-edge insight into the third nervous system response that Porges calls the social engagement system, based on the Vagus Nerve. In this episode, we talk about how we can both understand and balance our nervous system from the different ways we respond to fear or danger (including fight, flight, freeze and a new one you might not be aware of) to how we can change our response to stressors over time. We explore how we can stop moralizing our nervous response, how to listen and pay attention to our nervous system and how others’ nervous systems can help us regulate. It is FASCINATING!

 

Listen to discover:

  • What the Polyvagal Theory is and why it’s important for you to know about it
  • Understanding the Polyvagal Theory to learn how to better balance the nervous system 
  • How the Polyvagal Theory could be linked with depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue and other ailments  
  • How we can reshape our nervous system
  • Specific ways to self-regulate when you are stressed, based on YOUR unique nervous system 

 

This blends attachment theory, stress response, self-regulation, co-regulation and SO much more. The big takeaway is that you have a choice! Even though you don’t get to choose how your nervous system is wired, you can eventually shift how you respond to situations and regulate your own system which is so empowering! 

 

“We don’t get to choose our survival response.” - Deb Dana

 

“We want to stretch our nervous system but not stress our nervous system.” - Deb Dana

 

Resources

Deb Dana

https://https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/

The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy by Deb Dana

https://www.amazon.com/Polyvagal-Theory-Therapy-Interpersonal-Neurobiology/dp/0393712370/ref=nodl_ 

 

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Mar 12, 2020
200: Celebrating 200 Episodes!
37:57

I truly can’t believe we’re here ⁠— the 200th episode of The Adult Chair podcast and over 2 million downloads! This started out as an experiment to help my clients, and I’m BLOWN AWAY by what it has become. I couldn’t be more thankful to you for listening and inviting me into your life each week. I’m thrilled and humbled to have helped in a small way on your journey toward your most authentic self.

For our 200th episode, I wanted to share a bit more about The Adult Chair ⁠— the backstory behind how it came about, what it is and how you can use it every day in your life. I realize many of you might not know where this model comes from or the dozens of methods it includes, so today, you’ll discover a little bit more about all of the simple psychology and grounded spirituality that is part of The Adult Chair.

I’m also sharing a brand new six-step process from The Adult Chair that will help you transform ANY situation life throws your way. Here is each step I talk about in the episode for reference:

  1. What happened?
  2. The story I made up is:
  3. What Chair am I in?   
  4. This makes me feel:
  5. From my Adult Chair, here is what’s true:
  6. What I’m going to do next is:

 

This episode will also give you a crash course in what the model is and how it works, so if you’re brand new or want to share this podcast with a friend, this is a great place to start!

Again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being part of this community. The Adult Chair is so much more than a podcast. It’s a movement of healing and transformation that now includes workshops and events, a membership community, our brand new coaching certification and training program and tons of free resources for your journey. There are so many more exciting things coming, and I can’t wait for 200 more episodes with you!

 

Resources

Inner Child Resource

https://courses.theadultchair.com/

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

 

Mar 05, 2020
199: Dating from the Adult Chair
31:49

Everybody wants to be happy, and most of us want a partner to share our happiness and lives with. But finding that partner? Easier said than done.

Dating can be exhilarating, confusing, fun, exhausting and all the things. Experiencing connection with another person is deeply meaningful and also incredibly complex especially when we bring our own pasts, traumas and expectations into the early stages of a relationship. How do we know if a relationship is meant to be forever or for a season in our lives or not at all? How do we date in a healthy way?

Most of us date (and live) from our Adolescent Chair with all its fears, desires and past hurts. Add in emotions and physical attraction, and our adolescent self is running the show! But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can experience fulfilling dating relationships (even with someone who isn’t ultimately “the one”) when you date from your Adult Chair. And if you’re looking for a long-term partner, you absolutely need to be choosing from your most authentic, healthiest self!

 

In today’s episode, we’re talking all about how to date from your Adult Chair, including:

  • How to know if you are picking the right partner
  • Control issues in dating
  • Divorce and dating
  • Love addiction and love avoidance
  • How to know if it’s love or lust
  • How to let go and go with it (from a centered place)
  • Staying connected to yourself while falling for someone else

 

I had such a great conversation with my friend, Jackie, as part of today’s episode, and I know you will love hearing her questions and learning from her experiences. Whether you’re looking for the one, just getting into the dating game, trying to guide your actual adolescent children through their first relationship or just curious about relationships from an Adult Chair perspective, you will love this episode!

 

“If you’re in doubt, you’ve got to slow down and get clear on where you are. We need to enter into any relationship from a place of balance.”

 

“When you feel yourself disconnect from you and you’re not picking up on the red flags, that’s a problem.”

 

Resources

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

 

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Feb 27, 2020
198: Transforming Fear
20:10

Fear creeps in and out of our lives all the time. It's just a human emotion, but it's a sneaky one. It starts small, then all of the sudden, we're overtaken by it until it becomes paralyzing. A little bit of fear can quickly turn into a lot of fear.

A few weeks ago, I shared a story with you about some anxiety I was experiencing and a six-step process to move from panic to peace quickly (check out episode #195 to discover this process). While this process is incredibly effective, I found that I still had some fear creeping up, despite being able to calm my feelings of anxiety. I began to get curious about this fear and figure out why it was coming into my life.

Fear is often a future-focused emotion. It is based on unknowns, which trigger the Adolescent and throw us into stories and assumptions. When we find ourselves afraid, many people advise us to step back and "trust the process" which is true, but much easier said than done! Before we can trust, we must find the part that is able to trust and connect with that part.

In this show, I am sharing the secret I discovered to identify the source of fear and transform it before it triggers the ego. There is a part of us where both fear and trust live, and when we tap into it, it transforms fear almost instantly!

 

You'll discover:

  • Where your fear originates
  • How to stop stories and assumptions before they start (before we even slide into the Adolescent)
  • How to discover the source of your emotions
  • How to stop fear in its tracks and find deeper peace
  • Practical tips for doing inner child work (one of the most powerful processes for healing)

By the way, if you liked the six-step process in episode #195, the tips I share in today’s episode make for a great “Step 7” that can be added on to that process in just one minute or less!

 

Resources

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville

https://theadultchair.com/events/

Inner Child Resource

https://theadultchair.com/innerchild/

https://courses.theadultchair.com/

The Adult Chair Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

From Anxiety & Panic to Peace Podcast

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/195

 

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/