NYMPHOWARS

By Theda Hammel, Macy Rodman

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Description

This is a show about putting dicks down your mouths brought to you by world's smartest and prettiest transsexuals. Welcome to NYMPHOWARS

Episode Date
KNFW...Don't Say Whey
49:11

Whether you're learning to drive, or learning to code, one thing is for sure...freedom of speech and comedy are back. Featuring the longest ad read in the history of the world from the little springy ring you know and love...caribiner (in collaboration with Huda Beauty). And callers *weigh* in on a crucial question -- just what does the word ____ refer to? ripped illegally from the airwaves and uploaded here every week...it's KNFW.

Nov 23, 2022
KNFW...Tr*ck F*ck Tr*ns
56:06

When life comes at you fast, tend your own garden! It’s your favorite terrestrial radio transsexuals at it again with a little dash of introspection and a surprise pirate broadcast from California Courtney. As they say in Hollywood: Garfunkel and Oates will always be rich.

Nov 16, 2022
KNFW...You've Got A Lot of LOVE to Give
56:01

An exhausting diva call-in from all around the world. Detroit, LA, Dubai...these are just some the locales visited by our hard working listeners on the road. Lovers of the 90s will enjoy a trip down memory lane with one very special ex stripper and professional widow -- who calls herself the daughter of the witches that we couldn't burn..the one and only "Courtney" from LA...who has got a lot of love to give, if you know what I mean. 

Nov 09, 2022
KNFW...Better Share Claire
52:05

The gals are back at the KNFW offices and it’s back to long haul trucking business as usual! Theda recounts her time trapped in the clutches of meth cooking outlaws, Macy dates a therapist, and TD Bank has a green and white color scheme.

Nov 02, 2022
Amuse Douche #8 : I'm Zachary Quinto and I'm Reading Myra Breckinridge
19:39

This week, the gals talk star sightings on Fire Island, the lasting legacy of AHS, and Bjork's most shocking turn yet as Marilyn Monroe in Gentlement Prefer Organs!

Oct 26, 2022
Amuse Douche #7 : Gwen Stefani Has So Much Brush To Clear
17:58

It's hard to remember how it felt before we lived on the farm with our big husband! The girl's talk about Gwen Stefani, The Target Biodome, and the maudlin nature of present day press cycles.

Oct 19, 2022
Amuse Douche #6 : Bunny
19:44

This is a story about a girl named Bunny.  We're talkin Joker origin stories, big dolls, and Justin Long!

Oct 12, 2022
Amuse Douche #5 : The 'Blonde' Vaccine
17:30

We're talkin' big steamin mounds...and I'm not talking about the movie "Blonde"! But we cover that as well, along with digital monkey pox inseminations, cookware, and Andrew Domenik's new employment program.

Oct 05, 2022
Amuse Douche #4: Shag Box
16:42

Care for a shag in the Shag Box? Just turn that dial straight to the BBC, mate! The gals chat about erotic talk, sharks, and future roles for Helen Mirren in this latest edition of Amuse Douche!

Sep 28, 2022
Amuse Douche #3 : The United States of Uncle Johnny
19:33

Why is Mare of Easttown so rundown? Is Guy Pearce actually Veneno? Who is this Uncle Johnny and is he in the room with us now? The answers aren't important...and neither are the questions! Join us on another exciting installment of Amuse Douche!

Sep 21, 2022
Amuse Douche #2 : The Triple Wack
15:05

We're still in our Amuse Douche era, sis! This time we talk Leo D, Wacky Tilda, and Tom Perrotta's opus "Little Children"!

Sep 14, 2022
Amuse Douche #1 : Societhée Collapsamet
15:53

Heyyyy...How y'all doin? We have a gap in programming because our schedules have been crazy, but we are filling the gap with these beautiful, flavorful bites called "Amuse Douche"'s! We'll be back soon with the wonderful world of KNFW.

Sep 07, 2022
KNFW...Candy Silculture
55:50

A woman's face is much like a canvas to makeup artist Scott Barnes, who learned about the joys of man on man sexual love while working with pop singer and actress Jennifer Lopez on a special technique Barnes refers to as "underpainting." Today on Fresh Air, I'll be speaking to Mr. Barnes about his new makeup product: yellow blush. My name is Terry Gross, and this....is KNFW

Aug 31, 2022
KNFW...The Sex Lives of College Girls Whose Names Are Ann Dowd
52:29

Ann Dowd stops by and talks about a bunch of baloney. Scott Barnes, Fashion Week, Giardia, and a call from a girl whose boyfriend won't stop showing off. 

Aug 24, 2022
KNFW...Year of Pugh
56:22

This week, the girls are talkin’ Beyoncé Dump Meals, Roald Dahl’s James and the Giant Ass, and the great proctologist Dr. Eli Rothschild. British trucker (G/J)illian calls in with a whale of a problem, and some hot new blockbusters get a good old end of summer shoutout.

Aug 17, 2022
KNFW...The Secret World of Supercharged Clean Artistry
01:07:00

Just another day on the road. Well, what can you do? You can listen to KNFW, bootleg edition episode 3. The gals talk about this, talk about that, they even put their foot in their mouth a few times if you'll pardon the expression. Yes well of course there is some stuff about Billie Eilish, but that is because they are old road hogs. They don't know what is cool these days -- but you do, and what is cool? Is to listen to KNFW....in the Morning

Aug 10, 2022
KNFW...The Secret World of Supercharged Clean Artistry

Just another day on the road. Well, what can you do? You can listen to KNFW, bootleg edition episode 3. The gals talk about this, talk about that, they even put their foot in their mouth a few times if you'll pardon the expression. Yes well of course there is some stuff about Billie Eilish, but that is because they are old road hogs. They don't know what is cool these days -- but you do, and what is cool? Is to listen to KNFW....in the Morning

Aug 10, 2022
KNFW...My Baby's Got an Our Little Secret!
01:00:09

Another day, another drive! Don’t touch that dial, you long haul truckers, your safety is paramount! Our nation depends on the goods you carry and we couldn’t be more grateful. On this episode: Dick takes a fall, Madonna is the queen of “pop”, and Trucker Buck is hopelessly devoted to a big time gay star.

Aug 03, 2022
KNFW...in the morning!
48:13

KNFW…in the morning! Long haul trucker radio for the flyover country! Theda Hammel and Macy Rodman from the 2010’s classic podcast “Nymphowars” are hitting the airwaves again. This time on TERRESTRIAL RADIO.

Jul 27, 2022
The Out 100: Episode 3 "Traitors"
01:12:23

Two podcasts. Two books. Two spouses. Two Out 100s. Two paths in life. Two trans. 

Having parted ways after the events on the West Bank, Theda and Macy have dissolved their S-Corp and moved on. Macy's husband, a real estate shark, helped Macy claim all the assets from the old podcast, so Theda is recording her new podcast "F*ck ______." on a microcassette player with her wife Hadar, an Israeli ex-patriate. Meanwhile, Macy's star continues to rise with bookdeals, podcasts, and wealth. The two are further apart than ever, but could an email from Andy Cohen be the thing that brings them back together?

FEATURING SPECIAL GUESTS JOHN EARLY, CHARLENE INCARNATE, and ITA SEGEV

Feb 06, 2020
The Out 100: Episode 2 "Real Gays"
42:15

The girls join the permanent cast of Andy Cohen's latest Bravo reality tv show "Real Gays of New York" in an attempt to rehabilitate their image, but quickly discover that doing so puts them in an extremely precarious ethical position. Macy and Theda differ in their approach to the delicate situation, and both pursue their own strategy to mixed effect. 

Jan 22, 2020
The Out 100: Episode 1 "Mockery"
50:56

The girls are back with a three episode miniseries to lead up to their live events at the Lyric Hyperion in Los Angeles, February 7th and 8th, 2020. 

On the morning of a Blow Jobin' Experience broadcast, Theda feels a little down because the podcast wasn't included in the Out 100, but Macy has a special plan to cheer her up. Meanwhile, Theda's got an idea for how to make the show more palatable. But after one major on-air blunder, the girls get into even worse shape than before. Will ANYONE help them?

Jan 10, 2020
The Fisting Special Fisting Special
01:44:49

The epic sporting event you've all been waiting for. Three rounds. High stakes. A gathering of beloved friends. Will the wrath of Dua Lipa be appeased? Tune into find out. Thank you all for another wonderful season. Love, Macy and Theda. 

Sep 04, 2019
Bon Appetit
54:00

America's favorite kitchenista Claire Saffitz is back with an all new episode of the hit series "Gourmet Makes" from the Bon Appetit test kitchen. At the insistence of her friends and colleagues, she's taking on her hardest challenge yet...a confection so crucial and beloved that some of her tasters might literally die if she messes up. Can she succeed, or will she break down once and for all? Find out on this week's Nymphowars.  

Aug 29, 2019
The Fisting Special Casting Special
51:12

The girls were invited to record an episode of their podcast live before an audience of mostly naked strangers at the Inferno sex party. After a spin around the room they proceed to completely lose their audience over the course of an hour. If you were there, relive all the happy memories now, and if you weren't--live them for the first time, only on Nymphowars.  

Aug 21, 2019
Bucket List
58:29

Weird guy Berrigan guides the girls up to Spencer Lake where they sit and talk about Macy's trip to Alaska, and Theda's apprehensions about the upcoming fisting special. 

Aug 14, 2019
Marlo's Dream
39:49

In episode 11 of this season, we conducted a group interview to find and hire a new writer for our show. While there were a handful of decent candidates, no one wowed us quite like Marlo St. John, and amnesiac, bleeding from the side of her head, whose only possession was a 2014 appointment book with a single entry--that of the Nymphowars interview. We hired her on the spot, and are proud to present the first episode fully authored and directed by our friend and colleague, Marlo St. John. 

Aug 07, 2019
Unclockable You (feat. SSION and Paul)
49:15

Macy got a targeted instagram ad for a specialized tucking tape called "Unclockable you" and so the girls decided they should try it out. Joining them are Cody Critcheloe (aka SSION) and Paul, who have never tucked before. Join the four of them as they quite literally put it on, walk around, and take it off. Only on Nymphowars. 

Jul 31, 2019
Sucking Dick and Cock with Jacqueline Novak (and John Early)
01:04:33

Jacqueline Novak's off broadway stand up show "Get On Your Knees" is the best shit we ever did see and we were lucky enough to chat with her, her director John Early, and her boyfriend, comedian Chris Laker after a Saturday matinee. Much like Jacqueline's show, this episode includes many topics in addition to oral sex, including Tom Cruise and the Ravioli Store, celebrity child names, and what it means to be a "Comic's Comic." This show is Nymphowars approved. And would be Jeffree Star approved, if he were still alive. 

Jul 24, 2019
Murder On The Stupid Bitch Express: Conclusion
01:10:00

With a dead body on board, and no authorities for miles around, podcaster Th3da H8mmel has no choice but to take the investigation into her own hands. After what surely is one of the most thorough and clinical group interrogations the world has ever known, she shares her theories with those on board. Who killed Jeffree Star, and does anyone care? Find out on this special 70 minute episode of Nymphowars. 

Jul 19, 2019
Murder On The Stupid Bitch Express
44:46

Everything was set for Theda to have a pleasant train ride up the coast. She had a book, a bed, and her BEST friend Cait in charge...but something's amiss on the Coastal Starlight Express. For starters, it's crawling with D list celebrities. Chief among them? The notorious Jeffree Star, who's received a menacing threat scrawled in his own lipstick and demands Theda's help tracking down the perpetrator. Can she help him, or is it already TOO LATE? Find out on part 1 of this Nymphowars Mystery Exclusive. 

Jul 10, 2019
Writer's Room
56:30

After a season and a half of programming, the gals run out of ideas and need to outsource. With Macy out of the office, Theda holds an open call for writers and gets a mixed bag to say the least!

Jul 03, 2019
The Interview Pt 2: Macy on Theda
01:00:05

Much like the 1998 Craig Monahan Australian film of the same name, this episode was recorded with the eternal search for knowledge at its core! Macy asks Theda questions about life, art, and Geotran, and Theda answers those questions...sometimes with honesty and sometimes with diarrhea. Everything you could ever want to know, and much much more. 

Jun 19, 2019
The Interview Pt 1: Theda on Macy
51:06

Much like the Seth Rogen/James Franco Vehicle of the same name, this episode was recorded with the eternal search for knowledge at its core! Theda asks Macy questions about life, art, and mysterious circumstances, and Macy answers those questions...sometimes with honesty and sometimes with riddles.

Jun 12, 2019
...RECONCILIATION!
56:24

The feud that rocked the podcasting world finally reaches it's sexy conclusion with the help of Hal Sparks and professional mediator Lorelei Ramirez. That's all folks!

Jun 05, 2019
...FEUD!
59:29

[Until such time as the license holders of this account resolve outstanding contract dispute, episode description is withheld by order of Luminary Media Holdings inc. For further information, contact ldunham@luminary.com]

May 29, 2019
The US Army Presents The USO Aircraft Carrier Concert Series Presents VH1 Storytellers: Nymphowars
48:46

You spoke? We listened, and are proud to announce a full revival of Vh1's lapsed property "Storytellers" in coordination with the U.S. Army and the United Service Organizations. Over 20,000 navy troops requested the first booking be of Johnny "Cougar" Mellencamp, and, well? We couldn't say no. But in fact we did not book Mellencamp and went with the ladies of Nymphowars instead who regaled a small but happy crowd with stories of more famous artists, and the hits that inspired the hits. Happy fleet week.  

May 22, 2019
Cracking Tatigate: A Nymphowars Investigative Report
55:18

The ladies of Nymphowars apply their razor sharp true crime podcasting skills to the scandal of the century: Tati Westbrook’s furious takedown of James Charles and its ensuing uproar. To aid them in their explanation, the girls have called upon the sage counsel of their wisest friends to answer such pressing questions as: who or what is a “Tati”? Is “Halo Beauty” a nutriceutical? It is chill to accuse your gay teen friend of sucking too much dick and cock when you are an old woman? And many many more. If you liked the hit podcast Serial, or even listened to a single episode of it (we have done neither) well you are going to simply love this kind of “NPR presents” style presentation of the week’s most hottest of shits. 

May 15, 2019
Tracy
52:42

Two transsexual podcasters must forge a path through treacherous obstacles to make their way to paradise in an epic journey of gargantuan proportions. Theda and Macy must use every tool at their disposal to survive the unyielding battle that is laser hair removal. Tracy, their longtime friend and laser technician at the Berkowits School (not sponsored), might just be their only hope. Let’s join them on their journey...

May 08, 2019
The Blow Jobin' Experience
59:32

Welcome to The Blo Jobin’ Experience!!! The chit chat show that will live on our Patreon every Saturday from here into perpetuity! You will still be able to get all the zany romps, story times, and field pieces for free, but don’t be scared to peek behind the paywall at our talk show that will feature guests, call ins and more! Today we talk poop, Fergie’s predatory past, and poop transplants....sorry!

May 01, 2019
Kill Drag Race Part II: Is She Bugs?
39:18

In the thrilling conclusion of Nymphowars’ bombastic two part season opener, Theda fights her way to the final showdown against the Drag Race Illuminati. With Macy’s fate on the line, Theda must outwit the remaining judges, and RuPaul himself all the while preparing to nail the final lipsync for her life. Will she slay the drag patriarchy or sashay off this mortal coil? There’s only one way out alive...

Apr 24, 2019
Kill Drag Race Part I: Honey Baked Hamm
51:53

Macy is trapped in a frenzied state of catchphrase madness and can’t stop speaking in the cursed drag lingo popularized by the television phenomenon “Rupaul Presents: The Drag Race”. Theda has no choice but to seek guidance from an unlikely ally, Caitlyn Jenner, and go stealth as a contestant on the competition reality show as an undercover vigilante to stop the show’s nefarious influence and save her friend! One by one Theda must defeat the big wigs at the top of the drag industrial complex all while slaying the competition to win the show and gain access to the inner sanctum.

Apr 17, 2019
Beers, Bras, And Boobs: An Evening with Matthew McConaughey
48:55

Theda has been gravely injured doing a field piece in Texas while visiting friend-of-the-show Matthew McConaughey. It's up to Macy to assemble the archived footage into an episode worthy of the season finale. The resulting footage takes us on a deep dive into the dark personal history of actor and vaudevillian Matthew McConaughey, who has taken up residence in Amarillo Texas to perform his biographical one man show Beers, Bras, and Boobs for the next six years. 

Jan 05, 2019
Ellen Has Still Got It
49:26

The girls hang out in Macy's room as she oils herself in unguents, chatting about Ellen's work in If These Walls Could Talk 2 and how they would update the franchise for today. Also mentioned, the planned Nymphowars hiatus for January/February, Patreon issues, and some surgery forecasting. Ellen does not have sperm. 

Dec 26, 2018
A Flylady Christmas
48:53

Be a fly on the wall as the girls track the material for their Christmas special "A Flylady Christmas." Theda just isn't in the Christmas spirit and hasn't gotten Macy a gift. Plus her sink is filthy...What will she do? Just when all is lost, Flylady arrives to impart a very special lesson. What happens then will bring together many famous celebrities including it-girl Dua Lipa and influencer Nikkie Tutorials in a Christmas saga for all ages. 

This episode has a very stupid premise. If you're confused please reach out to @nymphowarsxxx on twitter.

Dec 19, 2018
PSSS (A Poem, A Story, A Song, A Sound)
48:02

Have you ever heard of "The Moth"? If you haven't, well, it is a podcast about one thing we all love and that is stories. Many love moth, notleastofwhich Nymphowars. But what's better than just stories? Uuhhhh how about also having poems, songs, and sounds!!! Take that "moth." Listen as the girls wipe their ass with moth. F*ck moth.

This episode is brought to you by Poems, Stories, Songs, and Sounds. "Poems, Stories, Songs, and Sounds...without them? big sad!"

Dec 12, 2018
Two Discarded Chunks

In two discarded chunks the girls discuss amphetamine addiction, trans health clinics, and Madonna's masculinity. The episode ends with another celebration of Macy's birthday, because the second chunk was cut for time from last week's episode.

This episode is sponsored by My Field. O Field, My Field, what a great field you are. Let's hear it for my field. 

Dec 05, 2018
Two Discarded Chunks
49:58

In two discarded chunks the girls discuss amphetamine addiction, trans health clinics, and Madonna's masculinity. The episode ends with another celebration of Macy's birthday, because the second chunk was cut for time from last week's episode.

This episode is sponsored by My Field. O Field, My Field, what a great field you are. Let's hear it for my field. 

Dec 05, 2018
Two Discarded Chunks

In two discarded chunks the girls discuss amphetamine addiction, trans health clinics, and Madonna's masculinity. The episode ends with another celebration of Macy's birthday, because the second chunk was cut for time from last week's episode.

This episode is sponsored by My Field. O Field, My Field, what a great field you are. Let's hear it for my field. 

Dec 05, 2018
Eggland's Best
48:03

The girls take questions from the rabble and then introduce the world to a very special game. Their friendship is sorely tested. Can either trans survive without the other? Can they make up before Macy's Birthday?? Tune in for a thrilling and heartwarming episode of Nymphowars with special guests. 

This episode is sponsored by Games. "Games. Want to play a fun game? Try Games." 

Nov 29, 2018
M Face for the Hamm Ace
55:13

The girls visit their friend M in her hotel room, where she is recovering from major elective surgery. One thing leads to another and Theda ends up having a great revelation. A low key chatty episode to kick off the holiday season. Just hang out. 

Nov 22, 2018
Live from the 24th Annual Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
56:10

Nymphowars comes to you live from the sidelines of the 24th annual Victoria's Secret Fashion show. The brass have learned their lessons from the uproar and cast a trans model...but at what cost? The gals receive feedback on their funny skit from some old friends, then embark on the true crime mystery of the decade: just who is SaigeLee43 and why does she love fucking and/or sucking a dick she shouldn't? Find out on this week's very special episode of Nymphowars.

 

Nov 14, 2018
What's A Hunty?
58:04

The gals chat about Glenn Close crying like a baby, a Cronenberg monster who does catcalls, and a very surprising reinterpretation of The Shape of Water. But when Stephen Colbert asks Macy about some youth vernacular, things go awry.

Nov 07, 2018
History Of 'Wars
43:04

Join Narrator Kevin Poop as we take a look back at the fascinating history of the podcast we know today as "NYMPHOWARS".  We look back at iconic and rare clips from some of the girls' previous radio ventures from 1930's radio plays up to that time the girls recorded while being abducted by a rather famous serial killer.

Oct 31, 2018
Edible Ass Paint
48:47

Magda accompanies the girls to the local Sephora where they scour the store for some crucial supplies. Theda gets attacked by a bug. Macy gets "Weird." No political current events mentioned. This episode is sponsored by Pat McGrath (Pat McGrath).  

Oct 24, 2018
FlyLady
01:00:16

Tinder stalkers, generation Z's, glam life gurus, and the death of the planet, plus a visit from a very special lady, and the death of a beloved granny. 

This episode is sponsored by Flylady.net. "Are you living in CHAOS (can't have anyone over syndrome??) try Flylady's helpful tips for keeping your mind tranquil and your home spotless. Our daily newsletter will tell you all you need to know about how to avoid diseases. Visit Flylady.net for more information. Buzz buzz buzz!"

Oct 17, 2018
Why Did You Do That To Me? A Star Is Born Review
01:07:23

I have one question...and it goes a little something like this: why did you DO that DO that DO that DO that DO that to me? why did you DO that DO that DO that DO that DO that to me? why did you DO that DO that DO that DO that DO that to me? Why did you DO that...WHY did you do that???

This and all episodes of NYMPHOWARS are sponsored by Bing Map. "Bing Map: Crystal Clear Clarity and Very Big Map"

Oct 10, 2018
The Adjectived Noun
57:22

Nymphowars' first field piece. The girls take a late night walk to a local cemetery where the presence of the buried dead inspires a sombre reimagining of the movie Titanic featuring only Old Rose and "Friendly Bill" Paxton. A Star Is Born gets some obligatory mentions in preparation for next week's ASIB blitz. Cyndi Lauper makes a brief cameo. Bjork sucks. 

This episode is sponsored by Bing Map. "Bing Map: Crystal Clear Clarity and Very Big Map"

Oct 03, 2018
Thin Puffed Cakes
46:12

This episode is mostly just a series of funny sounds. 

Sep 26, 2018
Trans Pee Lake
50:41

Wow, many special guests on this one. Felicity Huffman drinks an entire lake and pisses it back out again in classic movie Transamerica. Patti Lupone on coke? I guess anything goes! Caitlyn spills the secrets of her life, while Matthew McConaughey takes his career in a new direction. Finally, Ellen tries real hard to fuck Tig Notaro. Will she succeed? Find out on this star studded ep of NYMPHOWARS

Sep 19, 2018
Trans Pee Lake

Wow, many special guests on this one. Felicity Huffman drinks an entire lake and pisses it back out again in classic movie Transamerica. Patti Lupone on coke? I guess anything goes! Caitlyn spills the secrets of her life, while Matthew McConaughey takes his career in a new direction. Finally, Ellen tries real hard to fuck Tig Notaro. Will she succeed? Find out on this star studded ep of NYMPHOWARS

Sep 19, 2018
I Was Raised In the Back of a Cab
01:02:29

Chase me once, shame on you. Chase me twice, I have to become your lawfully wedded wice* (*wife). Macy takes a ride in a hell cab while Theda blows a man on the eve of his marriage. Jerod Leto dies a terrible death. Pokemon GO to the polls. 

Sep 12, 2018
In the Glass of Her Boudoir
01:07:14

Exploring the Ariana Grande. James Ivory's old yellow jizz. Chelsea Clinton locks up her mom. Whether you're gay straight or bi, lesbian transgender life, just remember this one thing: you are nothing and will always be nothing to me. Teamster talk. Pose on FX. Pose on FX. Pose on FX. Britney Spears and the 5 smells. 

Sep 05, 2018
Bi Orgy
27:31

Big sexy man hits up Macy to invite her to "please come to Bi Orgy." Hamm, big slut, will do anything for love. The sexy girls reminisce about sexuality during drag times. All this and more on very special episode of NYMPHOWARS

Aug 29, 2018