Happy Hour with Dennis and Erik

By Erik Rasmussen and Dennis Schrantz

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A candid and open weekly discussion between Dennis and Erik over drinks

Episode Date
Ep. 27 - Cowboy Caught The Same Fish Twice
00:00
Oct 04, 2019
Ep. 22 - Purple Chipmunk Proboscis
00:00

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A proboscis /proʊˈbɒsɪs/ is an elongated appendage from the head of an animal, either a vertebrate or an invertebrate. In invertebrates, the term usually refers to tubular mouthparts used for feeding and sucking. In vertebrates, a proboscis is an elongated nose or snout.

In aesthetics, the uncanny valley is a hypothesized relationship between the degree of an object’s resemblance to a human being and the emotional response to such an object. The concept of the uncanny valley suggests that humanoid objects which imperfectly resemble actual human beings provoke uncanny or strangely familiar feelings of eeriness and revulsion in observers. Valley denotes a dip in the human observer’s affinity for the replica, a relation that otherwise increases with the replica’s human likeness.

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Aug 30, 2019
Ep. 24 - Shoeing a Bald Nun
00:00

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It isn’t often we have occasion to employ the term “accidental self-defenestration” in an article, but that phrase certainly applies to the case of Garry Hoy, a 38-year-old lawyer with the Toronto law firm of Holden Day Wilson, who on 9 July 1993 plunged to his death from the 24th floor of the Toronto-Dominion Bank Tower building at TD Centre in front of several horrified witnesses:

Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the building’s windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously had conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lauwers, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was “one of the best and brightest” members of the 200-man association.

Last month, in Minneapolis, I climbed the stairs of a row house to find Al Franken, Minnesota’s disgraced former senator, wandering around in jeans and stocking feet. It was a sunny day, but the shades were mostly drawn. Takeout containers of hummus and carrot sticks were set out on the kitchen table. His wife, Franni Bryson, was stuck in their apartment in Washington, D.C., with a cold, and he had evidently done the best he could to be hospitable. But the place felt like the kind of man cave where someone hides out from the world, which is more or less what Franken has been doing since he resigned, in December, 2017, amid accusations of sexual impropriety.

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Sep 13, 2019
Ep. 21 - Quixotic Amber Camel
00:00

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Quantitative analysis utilizing a newly introduced parameter to assess the regularity of vocal vibrato corroborated its perceptually irregular nature, suggesting that vibrato (ir)regularity is a distinctive feature of the singing voice. Imitation of subharmonic phonation samples by a professional rock singer, documented by endoscopic high-speed video at 4,132 frames per second, revealed a 3:1 frequency locked vibratory pattern of vocal folds and ventricular folds.

In general, human speech is jammed by giving back to the speakers their own utterances at a delay of a few hundred milliseconds. This effect can disturb people without any physical discomfort, and disappears immediately by stop speaking. Furthermore, this effect does not involve anyone but the speaker. We utilize this phenomenon and implemented two prototype versions by combining a direction-sensitive microphone and a direction-sensitive speaker, enabling the speech of a specific person to be disturbed. We discuss practical application scenarios of the system, such as facilitating and controlling discussions.

A thorough shower with soap helps remove perspiration, body oils, cosmetics and traces of urine and fecal matter on the body. Sending those substances down the shower drain goes a long way toward reducing the “yuck factor” for everyone who shares the pool, but there is much more to consider.

The pre-swim shower helps minimize the irritating, smelly substances formed in pool water when impurities introduced on the bodies of swimmers combine with chlorine. Many people identify that smell as the smell of chlorine. The survey found 38 percent of people believe the characteristic chemical odor of some swimming pools in an indicator of a clean pool. In fact, that stringent odor is not from chlorine, but from irritants produced when chlorine reacts with impurities.

If, as seems demonstrable, words like prick, cunt, shit, fuck, and cocksucker would have been in common usage in the time andplace in which Deadwood is set, then, like any words, in form and frequency their expression will be governed by the personality of a given character, imagined by the author with whatever imperfection, as the character is shaped and tested in the crucible of experience.

Deadwood’s characters utter long, serpentine sentences, in diction that—depending on the speaker—can ascend to courtly abstraction or sink to the ripest vulgarity. Newspaperman Merrick (Jeffrey Jones), distraught over Hickok’s death and disgusted with McCall’s acquittal, offers a sarcastic toast: “Should it ever be your misfortune, gentlemen, or mine, to need to kill a man, then let us toast, together, the possibility that our trials be held in this camp.”

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Aug 23, 2019
Ep. 25 - The Defenestrated Fire Engine
00:00
Sep 20, 2019
Ep. 19 - My Spooky Little Skull
00:00
Aug 09, 2019
Ep. 23 - Master of Creative Darkness
00:00

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According to the documentary History of Rock ‘n’ Roll, King had no intention of recording the song himself. King had written it for the Drifters, who passed on recording it. After the “Spanish Harlem” recording session in 1960, King had some studio time left over. The session’s producers, Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller, asked if he had any more songs. King played it on the piano for them. They liked it and called the studio musicians back in to record it.

He is best known for writing the Millennium trilogy of crime novels, which were published posthumously, starting in 2005, after the author died suddenly of a heart attack. The trilogy was adapted as four motion pictures in Sweden and the U.S. (for the first book only).

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Sep 06, 2019
Ep. 20 - We're Big in Uruguay
00:00

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Imagine this: A shooter has entered a public place, where you are walking with your family. You have but a minute to realize you can save your 2-month-old by using your own body to shield him from the bullets raining down around you. Mere days later, your baby, the youngest survivor of the El Paso massacre, will appear on television with the very man who inspired the terrorist who killed both you and your husband. A photograph is taken, for posterity.

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Aug 16, 2019
Ep. 17 - Pesto Chango!
00:00
Jul 19, 2019
Ep. 26 - What do you want to be plumb with?
00:00
Sep 27, 2019
Ep. 15 - Maximus Maverick Bovinus
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Jul 12, 2019
Ep. 18 - Irish Warrior Whispers
00:00
Aug 02, 2019
Ep. 14 - I wanna spit on you and eat your face
00:00
Jul 05, 2019
Ep. 12 - The Most Appealing Part of Your Impediment
00:00
Jun 21, 2019
Ep. 10 - Blessed with the oil of a thousand Popes
00:00

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Everyone Poops

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Jun 07, 2019
Ep. 13 - Can you ship a sedated wolverine?
00:00
Jun 29, 2019
Ep. 11 - Work the Body, Grow the Mind
00:00

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My oft-repeated (some might say too oft) point about the absurdity – indeed wickedness – of labelling children with the religion of their parents (“Would you speak of a ‘Postmodernist child’, or a ‘Gramscian Marxist child’?”) is usually effective. People nearly always get the point immediately, although whether their future consciousness is raised to the point of actually wincing, as I do, whenever they hear ‘Catholic child’ or ‘Muslim child’ is another matter.

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Jun 14, 2019
Ep. 16 - 10 Quintillion White Horned Devils
00:00

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“There’s an estimated 10 quintillion insects on the globe,” said Julie Peterson, professor of entomology at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. “That’s 10 with 18 zeros after it, and that’s just insects. That’s not counting other arthropods like spiders and mites.” Insects — along with ticks, centipedes, spiders and all the other land-dwelling creepy-crawlies that we colloquially call “bugs” — probably represent as much as 80 percent of the species on this planet. In contrast, humans are a single species, made up of (as of this writing) 7,386,922,190 individuals.

The Real Grand McExtreme Bacon Burger Melania Trump Statue in Slovenia Melania Trump Statue in Slovenia Melania Trump Statue in Slovenia (Face) Naked Donald Trump Statue

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Jul 19, 2019
Ep. 5 - I am Lamp Man
00:00

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Apr 26, 2019
Ep. 7 - Harvesting French monkey tears
00:00
May 10, 2019
Ep. 2 - That's not my arm!
00:00

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Apr 04, 2019
Ep. 4 - The days are long and the years are short
00:00
Apr 19, 2019
Ep. 9 - Enough With The Monkey Stories!
00:00
May 24, 2019
Ep. 8 - Hokey, Pokey, Spooky
00:00

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May 17, 2019
Ep. 3 - My job is to get a man on the moon
00:00
Apr 11, 2019
Ep. 6 - A hundred percent salmon all of the way
00:00

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“We succeeded in taking that picture, and, if you look at it, you see a dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever lived, lived out their lives.

The aggregate of all our joys and sufferings, thousands of confident religions, ideologies and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilizations, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every hopeful child, every mother and father, every inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every superstar, every supreme leader, every saint and sinner in the history of our species, lived there — on a mote of dust, suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and in triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of the dot on scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner of the dot. How frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe, are challenged by this point of pale light . . .

To my mind, there is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly and compassionately with one another and to preserve and cherish that pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.”

— Carl Sagan, speech at Cornell University, October 13, 1994

I’m assuming Pelosi isn’t a Jewish name, right? It sounds Italian but I’m bad that way. Anyhoo … give me a shout back and let’s get the dialogue going!!— Rob Long, National Review, 20 Nov. 2006

Anyhoo. These divers saved a shark.— Kathie Lee Gifford, NBC News Transcripts, 4 Mar. 2010

… moving with the animated dash peculiar to the quickie films of the time, snapping such lines as “Say, what’s the big idea, anyhoo?”— Diane Werts, Newsday, 21 July 1991

Speaking of blonds with ambition, check out the latest from Tara Reid. You remember her—party girl, sometimes does a little acting. Anywho, she’s looking into other ventures, just like Miss Paris H.— Jan Uebelherr, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, 29 Aug. 2008

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May 03, 2019
Ep. 1 - A Room Full of Spider Monkeys
00:00

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Mar 29, 2019